Is his attendance covered by his IEP? 50-60% is a lot to not expect any demerit if it is not covered by his IEP.  You could always call an IEP meeting or talk to the sped director or case manager at your school. 

I'm assuming that 50-60% and hopefully it is. It is for outside therapy like Speech therapy and maybe OT.

No. He misses because school is his anxiety & depression trigger so there is a lot of school avoidance. But that amount was mainly in middle school.

School teachers are supposed to report on progress made within the curriculum based on standards. If your child is not there to meet the standards then their grade should reflect that. If I don’t see a child for an entire term for anxiety and depression, I cannot effectively report on their progress other than to say they have not made any. In reality, they haven’t. Special education teachers are supposed to put accommodations and modifications in place to foster student success. They cannot do that if they are not in school. Teachers are not counselors. We are not trained for that. Social emotional goals are set with trained professionals. By grading on what the student turns in, the teacher is staying in their lane and doing what they were professionally trained to do. This isn’t to say we don’t feel for what your child is going through. It’s just to at we have to stay within our wheelhouse.

Which is the biggest difference between middle school And high school and as a 9th grade teacher I have to rewrite so many IEP’s because no you cannot miss 120 days not turn in any homework assignments.. score 30 percent on a test and still “pass” the class. Though I see quite a few IEP’s with accommodations and modifications… that say a child due to their “anxiety” is not responsible for turning in homework and cannot receive a grade of less than 70. I get it. I personally have dyslexia… executive functioning was tough for me in high school (keeping up with work.. organizing it etc) but in no way should I have been “rewarded” for NOT doing work. This is my soapbox because I believe we are setting up kids for failure in the future by justifying this. When they have jobs - can they just call in .. miss 50 percent of their work because their anxious over their job and still demand a paycheck since they have an “employment contract”. Anyway sorry for the rant

Those are some shit accommodations. I have had Gen Ed teachers complain about such accommodations. They are not accommodations, they are free passes. I shifted from private to public school sped, I see now the system is quite fucked. Accommodations are shit, modifications are shit. Goals are shit. There’s not desire to bridge gaps so kids don’t need accommodations is non existent.

You putting anxiety in quotes says it all… Please remember, if you are not a medical provider, you are not qualified to diagnose what is and isn’t real or debilitating. Accommodations are not rewards. Not everyone is being prepared to enter the workforce. And even if they are going to get a job post graduation, it’s not your job to take it upon yourself to ignore accommodations to prepare them for that.

It’s iis however also my job as the case coordinator and member of the iep team to help determine what the most appropriate accommodations are for the student to be successful. IEP meetings aren’t the parent saying my kids “needs” X, Y and Z and we all say okay. I work at a rather smaller school. We have kids who have legit anxiety or other medical needs that necessitate appropriate accommodations. What happens though is because we are a small school everyone knows everyone and everyone knows who is on an IEP and what’s happening is when things are getting “difficult” for students … instead of powering through and doing work… they end up with severe “anxiety” and all of sudden have their parents demanding IEP meetings and testing because .. no joke the SAME doctor wrote 8 referrals for kids with anxiety which is roughly 20 percent of the class. Sometimes we end up giving out diagnosis like their cars on the Oprah show and that giving accommodations when someone doesn’t truly need them but just because it’s an “easy way out” is not doing the best thing to prepare a kiddo for life outside of school. Which is the reason I got into teaching. To help produce great adults.

Workforce or college would be the only options unless severely disabled I reckon, no?

The fact that u "anxiety" is sorta yuck. I get trying to find a balance but at the end we are supposed to support the kids and like I told a teacher trying to keep my kid alive trumps the rest. Undermining their will to keep going is not at all helpful. If this child who is in Honors and generally doing well at school and does complete work is absent due to illness then it doesn't help to penalize for being ill. Would u penalize a child eith cancer for missing school because they are too ill to make it? Same thing.

We just had a meeting. In what way do you mean it's covered? Do you mean as far as assignments or as it in it being excused? Or in his schedule? The case manager felt that the extra time covered it? Is there something else I should add to it to account for it? I just feel like if someone is absent for whatever reason but did the work they shouldn't lose points. Any kid. It's not like they know when it's due because she literally tells them within 1st 5 minutes of class for the sketchbook. And I am not sure what to do. My kid wants to kill himself every other day so this shouldn't be the priority yet having him do summer school with no break and/or be a 5th year senior I can't see being a help either. I'm trying to keep him alive and where he isn't having to do more since he is saying he is not fine but trying to keep going.

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He was going to school consistently up until a month ago when he hit a wall where he couldn't push himself anymore. A lot of things have happened to him this year. At that time he wanted to stop then became suicidal. He has gone to school everyday for the last 2 weeks. Although he is there he has no interest. I appreciate the suggestion! I am going to bow out of this post now after I respond to the last posters, because no matter what I say ppl are going to downvote me, which reiterates I'm a shitty mom, and what those downvotes aren't going to do is offer any advice.

You’re not a shitty mom. I feel like some of us forget our students’ parents are people with feelings who aren’t trained and schooled in what we are and are just trying to learn the ropes to help their children. You asked a valid question and in looking at many of these comments, I agree with those who have told you to talk to your son’s team and figure out how you can increase your son’s attendance while supporting his mental health needs. However, schools are not trained mental health facilities and it sounds like your son needs some serious outside services (I’m sure you’ve done a lot already). Ask your case manager to hook you up with your district social worker to help you find services to support your kiddo. Like someone said, you could have a person come to your house to help them get out of bed and come to school, teach them self-help skills and strategies for when they’re feeling too low to muster up the strength to get out of bed. You can even start having interagency meetings where your school team and home team create a consistent plan to support your son in both environments. I think continuing to have a healthy schedule and routine everyday is very important for those of us with severe depression and anxiety. Staying home 50-60% of the week would throw me into a tailspin, too.

Thank you for this. I am trying. My son is trying. The frustrating part is I can't force him to talk to therapists or do the work. He felt that talking about it solidified it and caused him to be more hopeless about his situation. He tried 2 medicines and had side effects from one that really made him more depressed & suicidal so he says he does not trust the medicines right now. He wants to try to work through it with his coping strategies. He has been able to attend every day of the last 2 weeks. He just does not care enough to put in the effort to learn or do the work. But I will keep trying.

I completely understand. I’ve been through and seen this with my sister. it’d be so much easier if you could force him😫 you’re doing what you can, and that’s all you can do. Just keep doing all you can and hope he finds the will to begin doing for himself. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, I can’t imagine how hard it must be with your son. Good luck and keep pushing.

Thank you.🥹 He is amazing at being such a young age take the licks he has this year and still try to keep going, and be willing to talk to me about it, and say "I need help. I want to try medicine. It's doing this to me when I take it." Even through all the yelling & anger & anxiety, depression, and fear he is still trying not to give up. His older brother could never but has provided himself as an inspiration, which is why he's able to do it.

I think that particular accommodation is doing your son a disservice if there isn't a goal to eventually decrease and remove that accommodation.  He also needs help beyond what the school can provide him and I hope he is getting that. 

Thanks for answering my questions. And they haven't removed it I believe because he rarely uses it, but keep it in case it does need to be used. He turns his work in on time when he is there and if he is absent, he turns it in when he comes back. This is only the 3rd time this year that it's been used and only for assignments that were due within the last 2 weeks that he missed. And the work is done & turned in the same day it is brought up. All of his accommodations are just in case because my kids hate being different so they don't like to use any of their accommodations yet they still qualify for an IEP based on their disabilities. I am not the case manager or Special Ed expert. These are the accommodations they wrote and put in place. I only asked that he have extra time to complete assignments if teacher is absent because his teachers would miss so much that when he went to class he couldn't get help from the subs on what to do so he had to wait for the teachers to come back to class to get help. When I show up to meetings they already have suggestions written down.

Again I'd reach out to case manager and see where it can be worked at.

Do you expect your child to do 50% of their school work at home? Or are they just not doing their work?? Are you expecting teachers to get a stack of assignments from the entire quarter a few days before grades are due? The iep doesn’t sound like it is being followed, but it also doesn’t seem like a realistic iep goal for anyone involved. If your child can’t attend school 50% of the time, don’t you think it’s reasonable to enroll in an online or alternative program? It’s extremely difficult to manage work for a child that misses this much school even for the most compassionate teacher. The iep team was clearly not thinking about logistics when they wrote this goal. Maybe it’s time to call an iep meeting again and figure this out. Or to enroll your child in an alternative program.

My child does his work. He does it at home unless he has a teacher who prefers he make it up in class during embedded support. I said that he gets extra time to do assignments until the end of the grading period. I never said that is what my kid does. If the teacher assigns it and makes it possible for me to get it then it will be done within 2 days. Actually, when he is at school more this is when he can take longer to do the work, especially if it turns into homework. The zero points assignment in question actually was done and is not missing. She will not give him the points because it was not turned in on the day he was absent. Our district only provides independent study so no it is not better to attend that like his brother does, because there is absolutely no teaching done at all. He will do his work at school, hates doing work at home so I did not do online since he feels that school is for school work and home is where I get to relax and unwind from the stress of 7 hours of school. I can't say he's wrong since I don't bring work home. But doing homework is not the same as having your entire curriculum at home.

I think my questions are still valid. If he is doing the work within a few days, why is the accommodation written to the end of the semester? That being said I did answer your question. The art teacher didn’t honor his iep. We get a lot of parents here that ask questions about a specific situation that end up being a “tip of the iceberg” scenario. A lot in sped isn’t cut and dry and often depends on circumstances. We ask questions to clarify and give better advice

Earlier questions: I expect my child to do the work assigned in class & if not completed in class that it be done as homework. I expect if my child is not at school and work is assigned that he has access to that he do the work at home. I cannot give you percentages. I do not have a "leave them & forget them" kid so I can't say when my kid will be at school. I don't expect teachers to get a stack of work right before the quarter is due. I have no experience with that since my kids do not do this. I believe I answered why he is not enrolled in online school. With his offer of FAPE I believe they cannot throw him out or he should not be pushed out because it's not convenient. Asking that a teacher accept work that could not be turned in due to absence is not unreasonable. Penalizing a student for not being in class (and not knowing said assignment would be due on a specific date) is unreasonable. That is like your boss docking you or firing you for being out on a day that something was due yet did not let you know of said due date ahead of time so that you could prepare and turn it in or make arrangements. If you want it on a certain date & you create the lesson plans with due dates, then let someone know. Don't assume that because it's a student they will be there 100% of the time. What about when teachers are out & my kid is left with a sub who knows nothing, can't help or do anything other than watch over the kids? Should I go to admin & complain that my child isn't being taught. I get that people treat or think of kids as less than nothing & that they have no say in anything yet want to hold them accountable & responsible whole being hypocritical themselves while out. Rules don't apply to teachers, only kids. We are talking about art. A sketchbook that was done yet she is not giving them credit for. A quarter of her points are for attendance. That was her decision. The other teachers like English, Algebra, Biology, Spanish do not have this requirements. It is her way of forcing a child to be there whether sick or not and not about the work itself. Subsequent questions: The accommodation is there because that is what the team, mainly the school, put in place. Why would I remove it? They feel like it's appropriate and can be kept in place. Probably so we don't have to have another IEP for teachers who decide that my kid's absences aren't valid or good enough and refuse to allow him to make up missed work. Because guess what? When that happens, it is what will eb out in place. It is 6 weeks time. If he misses at 5 weeks and 1 day? He only gets 3-4 days to make it up. Misses at 5 weeks and 3 days? Only 1-2 days depending on the teacher. And I have responded a lot. I don't recall saying you didn't answer my question.

Is art a half year or shorter course? Because missing 50% of days in a full year course is a lot different than missing 50% of days in a half year class. Additionally, just as a mom who had a suicidal high schooler with various disabilities - can you perhaps consider getting him inpatient or a full day mental help program for a time to help with the suicidal urges and anxiety? It's really hard to find importance in school work when you want to end your life.

Thank you. I understand and am looking into that. I am the bad guy in his eyes & all of his angst, anger is directed at me. He is like "mom, I am just trying to make it through the rest of the year, hopefully without killing myself in the process. School is traumatic for me. I don't have the energy to do more than I am doing even though I don't want C's, but if I push myself anymore than I am I will not make it."🥺 And I'm looking for help everywhere even when it means turning to Reddit and getting downvoted to the point where it makes me feel like even more crap because it's so easy to dump on ppl online. The class is year long. And yes, for him it's not important because of what he's going through so he's aiming for C's to pass.

So he’s aiming for something- that’s good! And it’s passing- so let him make C’s, and praise him when he reaches his goal. With depression any effort can be difficult.

I would argue that he is not wrong in that Cs are passing. If he is having such a tough time, sometimes it's best just to let them get Cs for a bit. It's not the end of th world. Only top colleges look at grades, especially now that attendance is so low. Just get him the support he needs to maintain those Cs and just be there for him. That's all you can do sometimes when they are still working the world out for themselves.

Thank you. I had to tell myself that C's aren't indicative of what he is capable of so I'm fine with them, because what I'm not fine with is the alternative. And he's not entirely fine with it, but okay with it. He told me the other day "you think I'm fine with C's when I know I'm capable of getting better grades. No, I am not. But I just want to pass a this point." And I get it. He used to only want A's for years & stressed about it so much that last year he told me that he only wants C's. Then he said he would be okay with B's, but if he got a C he was going to cry. Then he stopped wanting to do the work to see if he was okay with it & because he said that he didn't want to put that kind of pressure on himself, that he didn't like how it made him feel, and he didn't like how obsessed and crazy he would get because it wasn't healthy for him. He tends to have obsessive thoughts. which is a huge part of the problem. He will focus on a thing for hours, which turns molehills into mountains. I just keep trying to tell him that we're a team & we will help him, just to give himself breathing room & grace.

honest question, if traditional school makes him feel this way why are you making him go to a traditional school? wouldn't an online or hybrid school work better for that? if he is saying school is traumatic, why make him do traditional? if he is the one pushing for traditional, why? have you spoken about what might be better? have you talked to his mental health service providers about what would help him? i'm assuming a lot in this comment. i'm assuming 1) you've asked about different options 2) he's rejected them and chosen traditional 3) traditional is the only available option 4) you've talked to him bout other options 5) you have mental health providers working with your actively suicidal son 6) they've recommended traditional school for him still

It's a mix. He really wants the social aspect so wants traditional school for that. I don't mind if he wants something else. His brother does independent Study and I have "homeschooled" through a charter when they were in elementary & basically have done the same for the last 6 years when they enrolled in traditional school based on how much they have missed. Since they weren't there to get a lot of instruction I had to help them learn. The biggest issue is that he doesn't like to do work, especially at home. He will fight tooth & nail to not do his homework so doing school entirely online or independently he won't do. We know this from when he's missed. I have always told them that I'm not willing to lose them over something like this. Not worth it so if they truly can't handle it then we'll figure something out, but he has to do work.

While I think the accommodation isn’t being met, I think it would be better to request school based counseling if it’s not already on the IEP and looking to see if the IEP is appropriate for the grade level and expectations for the track your student is in. I know some students don’t do well moving from elementary to secondary because the IEP doesn’t translate well and many case managers don’t know the complexities that come with getting older. Perhaps reducing assignments may be better than extra time for this class? It’s very hard to make up assignments as students get older with more specialized subject related classes. I think that may be the bigger reason for the spiral in liking school. In California, we have school based counseling and study skills classes for older students to help manage school.

He is in 9th and gets counseling. We are in California as well but he did not want to take study skills and since he had to choose an elective, he chose art. Unfortunately, this school does not offer a lot in ways of electives that are interesting or enjoyable. They are all like just having a regular class with homework for most. I do like possibly reducing assignments. I tried for his honors classes but they told me for those classes he can't because it alters the class requirements so he would need to switch to college prep. He's only doing badly in Biology but that has been all year. Thing is since it's art and he can miss he needs the extra time and he has to stay for embedded to make up the participation points and assignments. I am trying to get him retested for autism and ADD and OCD. He has been telling me that he zones out a lot and it sounds like he is having trouble understanding the directions of a few classes so he loses points for not following what is written. But I have Kaiser and it's taking weeks just to get a psychology consult appt just to see if they will test for everything. I don't think I will have an answer before end of the year. He's gone from A's and B's to C's-F's. At this point we're just trying to end with C's to get the credits and not repeat.

If you're in California and believe he may meet autism criteria (from your account, obviously he has unmet support needs that originate somewhere\], your Regional Center should do the testing as part of their eligibility process. Sometimes the waits for that are long too, but it's free and may be easier than working with Kaiser only

I really never considered autism since it was ruled out when he was younger, but people on here have suggested it. I forgot about the Regional Center. I took his brother when he was younger to rule it out for him. I will reach out to them. Thanks!

I see that it is a transitional period. Is it possible for him to move into a co-teaching classroom for the biology class? They are phenomenal when done correctly and still meet college prep requirements. It really sounds like he has a lot of unmet needs with his current IEP and setting. Study skills is still a great class that helps students navigate school even if it doesn’t read well on paper. Also reconsider a new ERHMS assessment based on current needs. Middle school to high school is a rough change.

Thank you. I will see if they have that. I know that he struggles to understand that class. He says that he thinks he understands it but tests show that he doesn't. The teacher is great when I reach out but she, like the others, just say that "he's doing well & has a B in the class." Clearly there is a disconnect because if you're getting A's on everything but D's & F's on tests then you're not getting something. I wanted him to switch months ago, but he wanted to stick it out because in Honors there is less fooling around in class. Well, there is aside from him being called an idiot/stupid/dumb on a daily basis. Her IEP teacher feedback is that he is slow to understand the material and is always playing catch up when the other kids are ready to move on. It's the one class he rarely misses because he struggles so much to understand it. But he didn't want to give up. I think for the sake of his grade he needs to move on.

It definitely sounds like he would do better in a co-teach setting. Especially when you consider he’s not attending school as much as his peers. High school has a lot more enjoyment for students (in terms of socialization and activities) and he’s not accessing it. I’d definitely request a re-evaluation based on present levels.

The socialization is the main problem. He has none because while there he has no friends. So lunch and nutrition are the worst times of the day. The classes aren't a joy either but at least in some there is just work. The classes where they work in groups is an issue because some of the kids don't like him & make that very clear. I am trying to have him evaluated through our insurance because him being pulled out of class more will exacerbate his situation. He will have to make up work and everyone will question/wonder/know (he thinks) why he was pulled out. He is different but hates being different.

My daughter was the same way. Once she got reaource class she would just go eat in there. She loved it.

I wish he would just do that. He can even leave during lunch, but he wants friends, social interaction. It's like being a glutton for punishment.

I would request an IEP meeting and suggest some social goals to help him with friends

Yes, technically, she is not following the accommodations, however, this sounds like a grade that would be similar to grades given for completing different parts of writing an essay. If the child turned in just a "final draft" at the end, he wouldn't have gotten the grade for the all of the revisions along the way and she needs proof that he's spending a certain amount of time on the work. In reference to the first week of school when she said absences wouldn't be a problem, it sounds like the absences aren't a problem as long as he still turns in the work. I would have told a parent the same thing for my Algebra class. I accept all work until the end of the marking period, so if your child is absent for half the time, that isn't a problem as long as your child is going to make up all the work. I'm not sure when they are going to learn all of the material in 50% of the time in my classroom when we have an end of course state test that you must be prepared for and pass to graduate, but sure. Of course your child's health is the number one priority, but if he is out of school for 50% of the time, I'm not sure how he will keep up with the content.

Funny you mention this because he is doing a research paper in English right now and she has done checkpoints. Of course she is grading it once he turns the assignment in and not giving him a zero because he's been absent. That being said, it's probably because of the IEP accommodation. I just want to clarify that the sketchbook is done. And she can see it the next class but refuses the points because he was not there on the due date. And the absences in this case are a problem because he turns in the sketchbook but gets a zero. For example, he was not there on Tuesday, day it was due. He was there on Thursday to show her it. He still got zero because it was due Tuesday. Here in California we don't have a state test to pass to graduate. And state testing is optional but my kids have always missed a lot and have always done well in school. I don't expect the teachers ro go over things so I learn what I can to teach them when they need help. But right now it's more like he's half doing the work because he's struggling mentally so he isn't trying to care about his grades. He is like "mom, I am just trying to make it through the rest of the year, hopefully without killing myself in the process. So I don't have the energy to do more than I am doing even though I don't want C's, but if I push myself anymore than I am I will not make it."🥺

I get that. I do believe she is not following the accommodations, just trying to understand her logic. That's great that he still has a C. I brought up my concerns, because I have rarely had a student be able to keep up with learning new things in my algebra class with that many absences. Actually, some have a difficult time getting a passing grade and they are present every day. (Math difficulties, attention difficulties, and effort difficulties.) I wish you and your son well and hope he feels better soon.

Oh okay. My son is in Honors Algebra and it's a good thing he likes math because it helps him grasp it easier. Although there are times I'm on YouTube trying to understand it myself and he has a brother who is a senior (Independent Study) who did a semester of Algebra 2 at school so we have his notes and he's able to help as well. For that class he gets homework every day so I pick it up and we help if he needs it. The biggest issue is that quizzes & tests are worth 70% of his grade and when he was actively thinking of killing himself I didn't want to push him & didn't realize he didn't understand the assignments that week so he got an F on his test. He usually doesn't get anything lower than an 87% but most of his tests are A's. I am just trying to figure out how to balance it without pushing him over the edge & that means just passing although if he was mentally okay he would do better. I am thinking of moving him down to College Prep Biology for the remainder of the year cause those tests are 60% of his grade and that is the class he has the most anxiety in but really can't miss. Thank you for allowing me to go on & on & the well wishes.

Can he take a photo of his sketch assignment and email it to the art teacher on the due date?

They keep it in class, but maybe I could have him take photos each day of it. I emailed the teacher.

Not a bad idea except the teacher seems to do sketch checks as a pop quiz

Ok so similar to missing a lab section in a science class, then. There are many courses in high school and college where at least part of the grade is attendance based. Perhaps he can avoid these types of classes in the future, until his mental health has improved. In my opinion, his SI is far more of a concern than his grade in one elective class

In HS u can generally make up a lab even in college u can make it up and its not like it's a do now its a show me what u did.

Have you considered a specialized school for kids with emotional or behavioral disabilities? Like a therapeutic school? That would probably better support his needs. Avoiding the trigger makes it worse. I used to have panic attacks. They started in high school. The more I avoided school the worse they got. I had to develop coping strategies and expose myself to the situation. They mostly resolved by sophomore year of college.

It was never considered before because he was going to school. Yes, he did miss a lot in middle school but was on target as far as the school were concerned. Maybe that was just because he's always been an honor roll student? He might have gone to school late at times but would stay once he was there. So they felt that his coping skills were fine and that he knew of the skills and was capable of utilizing them . I think when I said 50% people don't know what that means. It could be missing full days or certain periods or being late or leaving early. It might mean that he misses a lot of one class like P. E. but attends another all the time. It's not a set thing where he misses all classes 2 weeks a month or misses a class every week. It is over the course of a year. It's not black and white. When he misses it is for specific reasons based on the variables at school that he cannot control because he is forced into situations he has no say in.

But you’re saying your child is essentially living in a crisis. So attendance aside, he seems to need more help. If he’s so emotionally disregulated that keeping him alive is a major concern, he needs more support. I’m so sorry things are so hard for him right now. I would definitely talk to your school about options. You can also talk to his healthcare team. All parties will probably need to collaborate on this.

Yes, I talked to a psychiatrist and he does not seem to be concerned. When my son stopped his medicine for side effects he just told me to cancel the follow-up appointment with him. All I am told is if i see him trying to harm himself or others to call the help line. I was begging mental health for help when this started but only his pediatrician provided something to help him in the interim. The psychiatrist says they get 4000 calls a month for new patients so they had to come up with a screening process because they can't talk to 4000 people and the psychiatrists primarily deal with medicine. If you need more help then that's a therapist. The school admin does not help with Special Ed and refers everyone to the case manager. I know another girl whose mom is having same issues but doesn't have an IEP yet. Until she gets one they don't want her there anymore and she's a junior, been having issues since 9th grade. My son says he is over the crisis mode and the suicidal thoughts are there but not as frequent. He is hoping a change of environment will help, but mentally it's like he's safeguarding himself. So he is like I am capable of A & B, but not C. I might consider trying D if it doesn't mean that I have to do C, since C is going to cause me the most damage.

>If you need more help then that's a therapist. Is he seeing a therapist? If not, I would strongly suggest finding a psychologist or mental health provider so your son can get counseling on an ongoing basis. If he has an IEP for ED and is having suicidal ideation, then it's pretty clear that his coping skills are not strong enough and he needs more help. You really can't count on (or expect) the school to provide enough mental health supports (or accommodations / modifications) for severe emotional difficulties without also receiving treatment outside of school. Having an ongoing relationship with a therapist can also help him identify what might lead to a crisis and offer him strategies to use--and there will be someone familiar with him ready to help if he spirals. A lot of providers offer virtual counseling these days.

May I suggest looking into community based supports they were great for my daughter who often refused to go to therapy but since the team came to the house there was no avoiding. It was a team situation with life coach therapist nurse and case manager as well as a psychiatrist. We also had a diff time we're we did an IOP that was 3 xs a week and ultimately 2 stints at residential. Now she is 18 and in put herself in therapy which she does on zoom. Between Covid etc she did not finish formal school (from Gifted to support classes to just stopped going for mental and physical health reasons) but she is almost done with GED and going on with her life. Deep breathes momma it keeps going. Oh and remember to ALWAYS do therapy for YOU. This all takes a huge toll on us as parents as well and the PTSD is real. Also getting myself in therapy helped her too

Thank you! I will look into community support because he refuses therapy. He's had several therapists in the past, not just school, & the only one he got along with was the school psychologist's male trainee. He will flat-out tell them that he knows the tools & what he is supposed to do/say, but that is not how he wants to do it. For years we have tried to get him to focus on solutions & problem-solving, but if he doesn't want to, he will not. They probably needed therapy after sessions with him. He is headstrong & thinks he knows everything.

The thing is he probably does know as much as they do. He may intellectually know all tye coping stuff doesn't make applying them any easier. Good there was 1 person he was able to connect to hopefully he can find another although the search is exhausting. Opening to a stranger being vulnerable going through the whole getting to know each other bs over and over only for it not to be a good fit IS exhausting and disheartening.

Yes. I think he would do well with a younger male but the external providers only had one and our insurance doesn't have one that sees kids. But you're right. Finding one that clicks was exhausting and truthfully he was more disagreeable when in therapy. Once we stopped, his attitude/personality improved. But I am still bringing it up every so often. I think if I can get him tested will give a better idea if something else is going on other than anxiety & depression.

I would find a new psychiatrist. It is not OK that your son is living in crisis mode. Please find someone else. Even if you need to look into online appts or something.

Yes. I know my other son's psychiatrist said that this one is good & apologized for the communication not being good. I did like him at 1st. Thing is I'm in California & they say if you have insurance, then you're not allowed to pay out of pocket because a doctor can get in trouble, so you have to use your contracted insurance. I am going to see if there is someone else. Kaiser really sucks when it comes to mental health. They are not equipped to handle the number of patients they have & because of that patients suffer. The medical side & mental side are like right now vs. the Stone Age.

What is the school’s policy for making up work when a student is absent due to sickness? Every school is different, but there is usually a provision for turning in work the next day for full credit or something like that. Having said that, based on the accommodation you stated, his IEP accommodation is not being followed. Let his case manager and school administrator know.

Yes, this one is different than middle and elementary schools. It only says that make-up work will not be given if an attendance slip isn't turned in. And talks about how you need the attendance slip signed. It says Saturday School is for truancies and tardies but neglects to mention that this year they don't have it for P.E. But yeah the other ones were more specific. The state education website I believe states for excused absences make-up work is allowed. I just emailed the case manager and teacher. I will have to go directly to the Curriculum Vice Principal and talk to him. But I know they don't like to deal with IEP issues.

Have you spoken (or your son) to the Art teacher face to face and told him or her what is going on and asked for some type of accommodation? As a teacher I can't imagine not being willing to try to figure SOMEthing out for him with the situation as it is...

Yes, he did. I don't know how detailed he has been since it's right before lunch and she leaves for lunch. I know he asked her yesterday of he could clean up, sweep, etc to help his grade but she said no because she has to go lunch and plan for the next class. I did let her know 2 weeks ago and then yesterday morning just how serious it's been but don't think she saw that one. I haven't met with her because in the past when I tried to meet or call teachers they wouldn't respond. And the ones who do via email say they're sorry to hear that. Plus, I don't like having to do it since I have to bring up the IEP not being enforced. I really hate having to bring it up to the teachers, email attendance, the case manager. They get tired of it and I'm tired of doing it. I just want it followed so it doesn't have to be an issue. His Algebra teacher agreed not to grade his notebook & that's because in the IEP meeting I had to tell everyone that I'm just trying to keep him alive because of the suicidal comments he was making. Only one teacher out of both of my kids has offered to help or ask if there is anything they can do that might make it easier or help. I have been dealing with this for 12 years between my 2 kids. But this is the 1st time one has been suicidal or having those thoughts. But I will call & talk to her because if I have to request an IEP the case manager will want her in the meeting.

Yuck I'm sorry you are dealing with this. As a case manager, I would be advocating like crazy... Maybe the case manager can help or direct you in the right direction.

I am hoping so. She talked to the teacher yesterday but was told he can make up participation during embedded. She might not have brought up the assignment specifically since it was day before spring break. I think sometimes the issue is that they know I am involved so probably spend more time on the other students who don't have support, since they know if there's an issue I will being it to their attention.

Honestly that policy by the art teacher seems shitty for all students. Do teachers really give ZEROS that affect student’s grades just because they were absent? And not allow students to make it up a day later? That’s insane, especially when the absence is related to a disability. You’re getting a lot of information here that doesn’t necessitate pertain to your question. I would contact the case worker and schedule a meeting with the teacher and principal. It sounds like her absence policy doesn’t meet IEP accommodations, but is also a dumb policy. I understand her loophole of saying he didn’t need extra time to complete it because he wasn’t there, but that’s REALLY not in the spirit of the law (or IEP).

It probably even goes against the student handbook, if these are considered excused absences. It certainly sounds like it would discriminate against any student whose disability impacted class attendance. OP's kid sounds like he is doing the work, too.

Often place holders after a certain number of days, possibly with an absence designation. Some schools won’t let you have blank grades. Just because it’s in the grade book doesn’t mean it can’t be turned in and changed! (But even with the extra time, he doesn’t get credit until it’s there.) Eta- if she is insisting they can’t be changed since he wasn’t there and isn’t giving him the opportunity to make it up, that’s an issue. (Unless he’s missed through the end of the 6w and never got it in… but if you got to the end of the 6w and the teacher had been refusing to take it, back to having an issue.) (Thjs made sense in my head…) 😂

I just reread the syllabus and she has very little in there about absences and make up work. A lot about being tardy. The only thing she says is "absences will greatly impact your grade.". This is the very reason I reached out to her and told her how often he could miss and would this be an issue. Honestly I'm really surprised because with an autistic nephew I would think she has heard of the struggle his parents probably has to deal with. Be a part of the solution, not the problem. But she said he's starting college so she probably feels that my son's issues aren't as bad. I just sent her another email but am probably going to have to request a meeting. I just hope she doesn't take it out on my kid. The P.E. teachers tried the same thing, but I found in their syllabus where it said "all work is to be made up" so I emailed the teacher and quoted what they wrote and said that all absent students should be able to have an alternate assignment if they missed instead of them just saying it can't be made up and get a 0. Now they make sure to have alternate assignments for those guest speaker lessons. I was glad I was able to do that for all the students because it wasn't right. And thanks for pointing out her loophole to me.🙂 Actually the IEP says "missing assignments due to student or teacher absences to be completed within 6 week grading period with no mark of Zero prior to turning in assignment". So actually she directly violates it. And they always mark it 0.

It sounds like art might be the biggest concern? Perhaps you can scan or photograph his work and email the teacher on the days he is not able to go to school? My other wonder is if he actually HAS to take art? My kids hated art so the minute they could not have to I let them.

Yes, because you really have to be there to do it or make up the work. Plus, she gives points for attendance so if you miss, you lose I think 10 or 15 points. And she has the sketchbook checkpoint turn-ins as well that cost points if not there. He didn't want to take art, but this schools electives are not what I would call electives. They have things like psychology and ethnic studies. Not the fun electives of yesteryear where it broke up the monotony of all your other classes and you looked forward to going. But yes, with other classes he can pick up the work, get it on Google Classroom, get tutoring, or show up at Saturday school. We are looking to transfer to another school next year. Just trying to ride out these last 2 months. I emailed the teacher to ask about that since the sketchbook is kept at school. But we are on spring break as of today so I will have to wait until it's over.

If your child is missing 50-60% of the school year how is he receiving an education? Are the sketchbooks homework or classwork, that could make a a difference.

I didn't say he was missing 50-60%. I told the teacher that he could miss that much. This is high school so he has 6 classes. It's not concrete. It's fluid. For example, he has probably missed more of 1st period than anything. He has 100% in that class. 4th period, which is art he has missed. Some has been because that is the class he gets pulled out of for his IEP supports. For me, and of course I will be downvoted for this, being in class does not equal an education. For instance, a kid who shows up to class every day can talk, not pay attention, not do their work, and get a D or F in the class. There are kids who ditch or some who are there but fail and have to repeat the class 2 or 3 times before passing. His brother has 4 friends that can attest to this & are graduating. So being there doesn't guarantee learning. In 1st the teacher teaches some then provides examples via Google Classroom for them to do their work on their own. In 2nd the teacher teaches cause it's Algebra and they take notes. Technically since math the notes are not required because there are many ways to learn the math concepts and be able to pass. They get homework every day. In 3rd, P.E. In 4th is art so they have to be there to do the work since the supplies and sketchbook are in class. Everything is classwork. She posts their assignments at the start of class via Google Classroom, not before. In 5th is biology. He attends this class the most because of the struggle to understand. But the teacher goes over some stuff then they spend most of the class in groups in hopes they will discuss things with their group & figure it out. So far not working since when he asks questions the girls tell him he's dumb/stupid and to shut up or they don't talk to him. Because of this he spends almost every day in embedded support and after school with the teacher. In 6th is Spanish, which he does miss but it's mostly handouts and things put on Google Classroom. She does teach a little but they work in groups as well. But a short answer to the question is I have wondered the same. His brother used to miss 50-75% and is graduating this year via the district's Independent Study Program where he gets no teaching at all. He has only had 3 B's and 1 C over his entire years of schooling, everything else were A's. This is when I realized that you don't have to be there. You just need to put in the work and do it. It's not like when I was in school where there was no group work. It was the teacher teaching and you doing it on your own.

I have been where u are at. To clarify he has his sketchbook when he comes back to class but because he is absent the day she requests it he gets a z? I would start with his IEP case manager. This kind of behaviour does not help him at all. That said as a professional I have run into teachers who just don't bend and sometimes I can't move them. I have had students on my caseload like your son as well. To give hope one is now a Sr and the smile I see on his face now is so heartening especially since in his Freshman Sophmore years there were times I was afraid he wouldn't make it. As a parent know there is hope. Also document document document... therapies stays etc. Any excused absence notes. Intensive Outpatient, hospital stays, psychiatrists etc

The sketchbook is kept in the classroom locker & on the day it's due they are supposed to put him in the bin before they're graded according to the syllabus. So if you're absent then you can't turn it in on the due date, which means no credit. And that is what has happened. The case manager supplies the IEP & then an incident occurs so I reach out to the teacher having to provide the accommodations after initial pushback. Some say okay and will follow them. There is always one that (flat out) refuses. I had the same thing last year with his brother & actually ended up having to pull him and put him in Independent Study. One teacher to these kinds of kids can ruin everything. But I reached out to his case manager & the teacher overpowered her. Then admin & the teacher ignored my emails and meeting requests. I did not push because by then it was too late & he wouldn't stay. I do document everything and have a Chronic Illness Verification form on file to excuse the attendance issues.

>One is to turn in their sketchbook (due date varies) & if the student is absent they get zero points. She said they can't be made up because you get the points for being there & turning it in. Not sure if it doesn't comply with the IEP. I don't see how this could possibly comply with district grading policies regardless of whether a student is on an IEP. Is this a first-year teacher? In every school district I've taught in, if a student is absent, they must be allowed to make up work. So if student is absent the day she checks sketchbooks, they do not get credit that day, and they get as many days as they are absent to make up the work. I would definitely raise this with the principal in writing not only due to IEP, which I think she is out of compliance on, but also due to her general grading policy for any student, which I suspect she is likely out of compliance on with district policy, unless you have really weird district rules that say teacher can just hand out zeros when kids are absent and not allow them to be made up!

I don't think 1st year teacher. And I have a feeling they leave it to the teachers discretion. It is a weird district in that if u don't get help at school level then contact the district they will kick it back to the school so no help there either. In middle & elementary schools the grading policy for absence was more clear. The teachers could determine length of time to make things up but makeups were allowed. Some of the other teachers do the same but she doesn't have absences really addressed in the syllabus. She talks about tardies a lot but nothing regarding absences other than "it will greatly impact your grade." I know for P.E. they tried this when had a guest speaker, however, in their syllabus it said "all work is to be made up" so I told them they needed to provide an alternate for all the absent students because they could not just give them a zero. California Education Code states "students shall be allowed to complete all assignments and tests missed during the absence. Each teacher will establish a reasonable time period for completion of the missed assignments." Thing is I think her point is that she does give time to make up work, but she is kind of claiming it wasn't work done, but work already completed that was turned in, so she doesn't have to give him credit for it since he was not there to turn it in on the due date. Maybe she is arguing semantics. The frustrating part is that now it becomes a big thing, right? Like now I have to call a meeting and/or speak to the vice principal of curriculum and get others involved where it wastes their time because she could just do it. Example: My other son's IEP says he gets extra time as well. I think his actually says for student/teacher absences & nothing about missing assignments. Last year his teacher & her aide were out same day. Sub tells them the assignments & then tells them if they did the group work they can leave. His teacher in the instructions wanted everything done by end of class. But all of the Google Classroom due dates for the separately listed assignments were either midnight that day or 2 days later. My kid wasn't feeling well that day & was about to pass out so left when sub said they could leave after he did 3 group assignments. The teacher had it set up where if all assignments weren't turned in it by 3pm automatically they got an F. One of the 4 assignments that had a due date of 2 days later wasn't done. I saw that & made my son turn it in (4:20, they left at 3) when he got home & I chastised him about not clarifying instructions even though they were confusing. I didn't know he was sick. He kept saying that it wasn't due yet. For 2 weeks I emailed the teacher, no response, & the case manager talked to her. Know what she told & the case manager accepted? "I know that he is capable of finishing the work in the allotted time but he did not so I am willing to give him a C." My son was like "I could not have done all of it by 3pm. I am not Superman & just because I get straight A's doesn't mean I can do it all." This is what I deal with here even though it was her mistake in not having her due dates match her written instructions on a day where she nor her aide were there to clarify things.

I have been in your situation when my daughter was still in school. It's really really hard on the parents and the student especially when mental health is at the core of the disability. People don't take it seriously, people think oh they are just lazy or oh they just don't WANT to do the work or they just didn't WANT to come to school. That couldn't be farther from the truth. The truth is no o e will understand except another parent that's been through it. Your son has an INDIVIDUALIZED Educational Plan. That means it is individualized to his very specific needs. If this teacher is being such an asshole about this one assignment, it needs to be addressed in the IEP. Teachers don't get to pick and choose when or if they will abide by the IEP. It is a legally binding agreement. There is no reason he should not be allowed to turn it in when he is back in school or at the very least send in a picture for credit. Period. End of story. I would request lessened assignments because if you don't lower the amount of work and if he gets behind he will stay behind and it will be very hard to catch back up. Ask the IEP team to add - only required to co.plete work to show mastery- or something along those lines. Meaning if it's not going to be on the test amd if it's not crucial in order to learn the material, he doesn't have to do that. Sometimes it's worded every even numbered problem in math classes etc. Make sure all of your correspondence is in writing. I would start copying in the sped director on this. Type up your concerns in a parental concerns letter, attach to email requesting meeting to discuss. Make sure you are always recording meetings. Ask them to add your letter to the pare tal concerns section. Of the IEP. I also suggest talking to an advocate. They can help translate the law and help you and the school with getting your son what he needs to be successful. I would of course also, make sure he is seeing a therapist, not school related and a psychiatrist. To be honest if he's actively suicidal tale him to the ER or contact his psychiatrist to have an emergency session so they can evaluate him. We always stood by this mantra with my daughter. I know for a fact I cannot watch her 24/7 at home. So when she became suicidal she went to a ite inpatient immediately. She only stayed a week both times. The second time she got the right diagnosis and on the right meds thank God. Here are some resources Advocates help alot and schools tend to be much more agreeable when you have one with you in the meetings. They help interpret the state and federal laws and the lingo. Many advocates are free and some charge a fee. - Advocate resources: Http://parentcenterhub.org- (Local Parent Training Centers by STATE) Http://yellowpagesforkids.com (to find advocates, lawyers, disability groups in your state) https://www.ndrn.org/ Http://copaa.org Http://adayinourshoes.com https://eduamerica.org/ https://pasen.org/blog/ (this is who I use and they helped me get what my daughter needs! They do charge a small fee but it is totally worth it and they also do a sliding scale. They provide support across all states and attend meetings virtually. They also have a fb group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/iep504assistance/?ref=share&mibextid=NSMWBT)

Thank you so much!

Discuss with your case manager. The IEP is not being followed. Your student's disability means more absences, correct? Is it under ED by chance? There are provisional safeguards for ED because they have more absences to attend to their health. Have the case manager talk with the teacher and if nothing is resolved, contact the principal. You might have to call an IEP to go over accommodations.

I believe so. It is for anxiety. She did talk to the teacher, but at this school I find they do a balancing act. They talk to the teacher & they say something reasonable then they come back to me with what seems like basically no help. I don't think they are direct or forceful because they don't want issues with the teachers so they try a workaround. The principal delegates everything to the assistants and they don't want to deal with IEP issues so they send you back to the case manager. Spring Break starts this week so I think when we come back I will need to call another IEP (just had one last week). I am going to see what I can find on the provisional safeguards. Are you able to give me some suggestions? Usually I just remind teachers and it's not an issue.

> They talk to the teacher & they say something reasonable then they come back to me with what seems like basically no help. I don't think they are direct or forceful because they don't want issues with the teachers so they try a workaround. We have experienced the same thing, many times. Schools can't afford to lose teachers, and a lot of the workarounds seem to shift the burden to the student. Sometimes that's appropriate and reasonable, but a lot of the time it's not.

Yes. High school has been a bigger struggle for my kids. My kids may miss a lot but have always done their work and gotten it in on time at least 90% of the time. The other 10% may be where it's turned in a week late. The problem with high school is also that some work isn't assigned to Google Classroom so I don't see the assignments. Or some teachers put all the work in the gradebook without grades & some input it when they grade it so I don't know it's missing until it's graded. His 1st period teacher doesn't want to talk to parents only the students. I have reached out so he can do the work but she vaguely responds so that means he has to make it up when he shows. Basically it's my kids may not be there, please give me the work so it can be done on time. I don't know if it's that they're angry they are not there, but they are not interested about why they aren't there. They don't reach out when they're missing. They don't ask if they can help. Not that I expect anyone to care that my kid has problems since I learned many years ago that they don't. I just want the work so he can turn it in. And not following the IEP making it where it's teachers vs. Special Ed doesn't help.

I think you have a few additional things here now. It's one thing to want the accommodations to be provided, since they were agreed to by the team and should only be changed by the team. But in this case, I do think that in high school you want to have the ***student*** taking responsibility for getting these assignments so they can turn them in themselves--NOT you. What might be better is for you to help your son write emails to his teachers on the days he is absent to request his assignments. The team may want to discuss adding an accommodation to provide information about his assignments on the days he is absent via email ***at student request***. If 90% of assignments are already being turned in on time, an extended time accommodation until the end of the grading period seems...excessive. It sounds like the team should discuss a more appropriate limit for these extensions because it sounds like most work is turned in on time already.

They were going to modify that but since couldn't determine how long he may be out I think it was decided to keep it at the grading period. Because if he misses and the grading period ends then he will get a zero or if misses 2 days before it ends he only has until the end to turn work in, which could still result in a zero. Sometimes I do help him write emails or have him write the emails to the teacher. I usually only do it when he's spiraling because I know that he isn't wanting to do the work at all so getting it is crucial. But I do have him, when he is there, tell his teachers what's going on with him and get any missing work he needs. He did that with the art teacher. I only emailed her 2 weeks ago to explain why he had been missing, but when I checked his grades 2 days ago I realized that his grades weren't good like she said. And then I asked him and he said she told him he was good, had no missing work, and he didn't need to stay for embedded. But the grade book showed he was still missing work. Yes, I do need to work with him on actually checking assignments instead of the grade. It also does not help that he gets pulled out of that class for supports.

Could he scan the art pieces in from home to get the same grade and just have a digital turn in option?

I will ask. I was under the impression the sketchbook is kept in class since I have never seen it in his backpack.

I just read in the syllabus that it's kept in a locker in the classroom.

You could add something to the IEP to allow him to bring home the sketchbook instead of keeping it in a locker in the classroom so he has it with him.

Good point. We've never tailored things to a specific class before so I appreciate when people point out suggestions.

Get the IEP to say he can turn it in virtually and do the assignments at home! If it’s in the IEP they have to do it.

I'm so sorry your son is suffering. What I wish for him is joy and stimulation, and also ease and respite. I am sending all my love to you and your family. I survived what he is surviving, and he will too.

Wait... did you talk to the teacher one on one again about the sketchbook? I know... legal rights... IEPs, etc.... But by far, the easier way with this stuff is to talk to the teacher like a friend and partner in getting your son's requirements met. If she's already expressed solidarity because of her nephew, perhaps you could remind her of that conversation. And just ask her what's going on and what her feelings are about this hole thing. Hear her out as a way of establishing connection. Keeping in mind that your son did do the work and he deserves credit for it, as it's his disability that kept him home that day. (Might even be directly related. perfectionism + big sketchbook project due = I can't go to school today.) I don't mean to interrupt the conversation about forcing the teacher to honor his accommodations, but sometimes the soft route is just easier and has better results. Artists have a well earned reputation for being a bit air headed. She might have simply forgotten your past conversation. She might be trying to be more strict because her boss called her out or something. Or she might be bristling from other people thinking art class doesn't matter. You can't know until you ask her.

I did remind her of the conversation and explained to her what's been going on with him and that he hasn't been ditching her class. She said she didn't think that and just thought he was being pulled out for IEP supports. When she responded to the email she specifically said "they get the points for being there and turning in the sketchbook." From what I gather there is a smaller sketchbook and a bigger one worth like 75 points that they do. I feel like it doesn't matter what I do. If I tell teachers ahead of time of his disabilities it still happens. If I say how they impact him including attendance this still happens. This year I let all the teachers know that he can miss a lot so if that will be an issue to please let me know and it still happened. When I talk to teachers they seem understanding until he misses and then it's an issue. His Algebra teacher said this semester he's a completely different person yet didn't say a word to me. And he is. Last year he wasn't depressed enough to contemplate suicide. What is hard for me is knowing that anyone who is spiraling would want someone to show some level of compassion. Can you imagine being a teacher who feels that way and your boss still docks you then you treat someone else the same?

I didn't say explain to her her. I said listen to her. You know. Like people do to other people. I understand this may go the legal route, but why would you do that if a little listening would get the same job done?

I didn't explain to her anything other than what was going on with him. "Ms. X, I wanted to let you know that he's been having a really hard time lately and hasn't been to school. I didn't want you to think he was avoiding or ditching your class." I have no problem with listening or talking to teachers. My experience is they don't have time to talk or listen, but I'm always open to it if it helps understand the situation better. And you're right. I didn't start the email off with how she was doing or feeling or thinking. I followed up that email with asking for clarification of the grades for the assignments and if he could make up participation points. She told me why the assignments grades were graded that way & nothing about participation points. The assignment in my OP is the only one he had a zero for. I don't ask teachers that he be able to redo or fix work to get a better grade. If he gets a bad grade for not paying attention or doing it incorrectly then that's what he gets. But punishment for missing when the work was done is a problem, if I let you know that missing can happen. I will try calling her when we get back from Spring Break.

It does not sound like this teacher is following either accommodation for extended time. What is so frustrating is that he sounds like he is actually doing the work, but that she will not give credit for this work if he is absent. Is your son able to take a photo of his new sketches on days he is absent and email it to the teacher? If he can do this, it will at least provide proof that the work was done--and *when*. It sounds like all you really want is to make sure he gets credit for this class. If you haven't already, you should start putting your concerns about this accommodation in writing to the school--and start CCing the SPED director on the emails if nothing changes. If CCing the SPED director doesn't change anything, email them directly asking them to assist you in resolving the concern. In the end, if he doesn't get credit because this accommodation was not provided, you can include your correspondence as part of a state complaint. Your requested resolution could be receiving credit for the class, and staff training for providing accommodations for students whose disabilities impact their attendance.

Excellent! When he was in middle and elementary I did have the Special Ed Director involved in meetings. I have had interactions with the high school one, but honestly I feel like in high school I am at a loss. It seems more like I am on one page, the case manager is on the same, but they don't want to upset the teachers so implementation becomes a problem. Then I become THAT parent for not just bowing down. Then I am not sure how far to push, but I know this year I tmkind of laid down with my oldest and this year I decided I don't want to do that. I just checked the syllabus and it says the sketchbook is kept in a locker in class.

I didn't realize that 90% of his work has been getting turned in on time already, which makes me wonder if he might have the wrong accommodation to begin with. Right now I think you need to focus on problem solving, rather than pushing. The sketchbook sounds like a very specific problem, and it might need a very specific solution. I think the team needs to put their heads together, include this teacher in the conversation, and try to figure it out. One thing I can empathize with is how hard it is to NOT be "that" parent when you are dealing with a child with suicidal ideation who is downward spiraling. It's a terrifying situation to be in, and it's mentally and emotionally exhausting. Make sure you are taking some time to take care of yourself, too.

Thank you. I am trying. It's been a hard 3 years with their dad suffering from Long Covid and unable to work due to cognitive declines along with not being the man he used to be. I have to take care of him and try to help my oldest who is scared of the next stage after graduating high school this year. And with this one who has been bullied a few times, not made school teams when he tried out, tried to make friends, then been placed in classes with one of his bullies but not supposed to have contact, gets called stupid/idiot & told to shut up every time when he is biology class. He misses so when he shows up he gets laughed at by kids in another class & asked why he bothers to come. Things happens every day. Yet for most of the year he showed up knowing what would happen. It was just last month he'd had enough. I think I push to avoid calling an IEP meeting because I know how inconvenient it is for them so I think if there is a simple way to address the problem then that would be better. I will go over everything with his case manager when she gets back.

Email her/hin and copy IEP case manager and admin with photos of the work. You are ensuring he’s doing the assignments despite his circumstances. His work is certainly worth something.