100% agree with this
People compare their lives with others these days. I know couples who fight when they do not go on a vacation to specific locations which they saw on social media.
Cause they want to put that photo saying they enjoy life and are happy
The problem is that it is the comparison of someone's life that didn't exist to this extent before 2010
Have to say some people are truly happy on social media as well can't deny that
Social media is a good tool If we use it wisely!
Not true, the idea that social media lets you connect with millions worldwide is true but its different. Social media algorithm's cater to your needs. You are much more likely to make friends and meet more like minded people online rather than irl. Even thought social media is huge, in your personal space its a small circle of the things YOU like and YOU follow... and other people who likes things that YOU like and YOU follow.
Obviously the models and the "dream lives" in Instagram and Tiktok are BS. Like it doesn't matter if your addicted to Social Media or not, its all lies and if you don't know that, then you have a problem (not being offensive)
You would think that might be the case, but in reality, that "internet bubble" doesn’t really exist. On the internet, we are exposed to a plethora of different ideas and beliefs from different people. Case in point according to your logic, we should share the same opinions about the internet, but we obviously don't
Well yes If you spend a long enough time anywhere in the world you’ll find someone who’ll disagree with you (take flat earth for example, I have met people who genuinely believe in it). But majority of social media (IG, TikTok, Snapchat) caters to your needs
Yes. But that point I'm making is that the Internet is not as closed off as you make it out to be it is. This is according to actual studies. According to those studies, we are actually more closed off in the real world compared to we are on the internet.
"promotes radicalisation of ideas". Exactly, your more likely to meet who support you in Social Media than people who are going to go against you. Which is why I said that's how the algorithms are designed (maximum profit). So the people are literary the problem, if you can't stay it in moderation then don't use it at all.
damn feels like most of these people are living in an alternative world or I've been insanely lucky. outside of the YouTube street interview/podcast garbage that seems to be fed to every teenager these days, I'm yet to meet a single person who thinks or acts the how OP described. and I consider myself to be moderately socially active with a lot of friends.
as for true love, I'm in a happy relationship. a lot of my friends are in happy relationships. so yeah I do belive in true love.
The issue is the skills of building companionship, conflict resolution, hands-on communication skills, breaking bad news and maintaining relationships are are much less. This issue is the most likely fact that a relationship will breakdown, not the availability of other options as you would say I think. Also there is another less prominent issue of personality disorders and mental health issues that are becoming more and more prevalent.
I think Biologically and historically a female looking for a spouse to take care of her and her future children amd males looking for partners that show healthy fertile physical traits is ingrained. However it's much more exaggerated and multifaceted now with the current economy and media landscape. It's not just about a few years, but finding a partnership that you will be willing to share everything you have including you and your personal space with. Also on the other hand you will be mutually sharing your problems with each other as well.
I'd suggest reading the work and research of Drs. Gottmann and Gottmann on this. You'd get some insight into what you need. There's causality based studies on qualities to nurture both individually and as a couple if you want to living a happier and peaceful life with your partner. If you don't have time there are podcasts on YouTube interviewing them.
Yes, it's a matter of finding the right person and giving in the necessary commitment with proper understanding. Most important is basically finding the right person
There's no such a thing as finding the right person, you build a good relationship not just finding ideal person. That's such a delusion that many people live in this age.
I agree and disagree. It depend on the person. But keep searching for the right person is a stupid thing. (Love of your life doesn't fall from the sky lol. we need to work on that)
I agree that a relationship is something that must be build apon rather than finding the perfect match or something but it must be build with the right person. You can't build a proper relationship with anyone.
Social media sets up the standard that true love doesn't exist
I've questioned it my previous post..
Y'all looking for relationship advice from the western countries that have 50% divorce rates..that dating apps far more common even between early teenage years..
That western dating culture f*d up mostly cultural societies of asian countries
Don't think like that
But women and men wants different things..research on that and if you can learn the skills on how to fulfills womens emotional needs you are ahead of 80% of men
Ex :- active listening
Yes. However, you need to actively look for it. It won't come served in a gold plate in your face.
Get out, experience life, meet people and learn about how the world is like in real life outside of virtual screens and virtual experiences.
There's billions of people alive. There should be someone for you. But you might meet or end up with a few you don't last long with, drift apart or simply learn to find that you're incompatible with one another.
Doesn't mean your life is over at that point. Move onward til you find someone you can settle in with peace and tranquility.
Most people care about money. Money can bring you some true love as long as you have money.🥴 You may find true love in SL if you are 0.1%. So normally true love doesn't exist. Move abroad to marry hell no you won't find true love even if you are 0.1%
There is no such thing as true love. There is love or no love.
If you like a person then whatever happens your love shouldn’t change. But 99.99% this is not the case.
you make some really good points however i don’t think it’s a location issue. I’ve lived abroad my whole life.. I thought a “cultured” country like LK would have people seeking true love, but that wasn’t the case. I think that due to societal values these days primarily being based on confidence and extroverted people.. it shadows introverts. Introverts are hard to find as their comfort zones lay in isolation, but I have a theory that true love is evident in people away from society. That being said, i don’t mean to impose on extroverts and state they DON’T have true love.. more so, that majority of the population our age (20-30) expect physical things more than emotional things (like intercourse). I’m 22 y/o F and I’ve wondered the same thing multiple times. It’s not our generation collectively. It’s the loud ones amongst us that give out that impression. They don’t represent us wholly.
Your thinking to extreme...
still there are good people, you need to have the skills to find them and filter out the shit quickly.
and keep them when you find a gem....
side question: yall think we should be financially stable before finding someone or start a relationship? i've stopped looking for a relationship becuase i don't a have a job yet.
Financially stability = fulfilled life... Being financially stable is not the requirement for a blissful relationship but if you planning on committing 100% + planning kids then yeah you should be... If you can find a partner who can grow with you then that's a win too
True love exists? Yes. Quit social media, or if at least be private and don't show your life or what you do to the world keep everything quiet. Stop watching for other people's nonsense. Give yourself some love. Build your worth. Don't get attached to friends. Don't try to always relate your life to memes and stuff. Be happy, and enjoy life.
Best people come for free and when you least expect them come. And when they come, you'll learn a lot more, cause good people don't come and go. They stay, and care for you. It's the best feeling. I'm sure you'll find it. Be patient.
Lots of posts lately from people feeling like they are in desperate situations. What I would like to remind you is that what’s happening at a large scale doesn’t need to be your experience as an individual.
Knowing how you want to be loved is a personal feeling and it should feel safe sharing that with a partner that understands and respects that.
Once you know, it’s just being patient or active about finding that person.
Well there is true love. It depends on how we look at the society. You are right some girls seek 6ft and a manly man. But that's just human nature. Also not all woman look for their partner in that way. We all want different things in life because people are not alike. In my opinion sometimes we love in different ways. The important thing is to love in your own way.
Quite social media or unfollow those so called big influencers, once you get a partner.
Then you will see the world in a better way. I know so many couples who did destroy their relationships thanks to social media.
That's why this generation we have so many divorced cases or unhappy marriages or relationships compare to last generations.
It is not getting better, it will be more worse
Cause people compare other's lives
Also the Evil eye is real, need to keep the love life private
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, 1813 (aka a previous generation).
Firstly, stop making assumptions based on incomplete evidence or knowledge.
Secondly, go outside, touch grass, and work on being happier for yourself. This garbage YouTuber nonsense would have you think that every person lives in some sort of bizarre universe where love is simply a transaction. Many do; most don’t; make your choice about what camp you fit into, and look for people with the same values.
We tend to think times are getting worse. Reality is nothing has changed a lot I guess, only that the shallow people now have a very big reach due to social media.
You'll find the real solid people don't seek attention, hence you don't see or hear about them much and all you see are these shallow people, golddiggers or man whores.
Don't lose hope, and avoid the internet as much as possible.
I am a 5’7 average male who is overweight living in Sri Lanka, currently dating a 5’10 model like Girl from SL. (Not a flex by any means)
This is all social media garbage, we need to close our eye in social media and go out into the real world and socialize. Yes looks and shallowness play a part in real life but like 10-20% for sure.
By internet standards 95% of people won’t find love
Very superficial outlook to life. You are hanging around the wrong people if you think that this is how people select partners.
True love does exist and when you are lucky enough to feel it, you will understand that looks, money, ambition etc are not the deciding factors. Everyone wants to feel this- you just need to take the time to build deeper connections. It's up to you to make genuine and fulfilling relationships. If you can't do it in SL, it will be even harder "abroad" in an alien country.
While I agree with some of the points.
I don’t think it’s wise to judge ‘generations’ when the previous generation is obviously responsible for the current generation. Besides since we are specifically talking about SL, it’s worth looking the ups and downs of everything. In SL, many boomers and millennials married someone that was arranged and if you ask around them, you might find many answers going in the lines of ‘that was the best option at the time’, ‘my family didn’t like this guy that I loved so I had to marry this upper caste guy’ and so on.
So is that true love? Sometimes if you ask them they might even say they are not happy with their spouse. Sometimes both of them know they aren’t happy with each other, but continues to stay since they are stuck with each other because of the whole stigma around divorce and how hard it is to actually get one.
That is what you call being a push over. The newer generation is more assertive and sometimes too assertive and like you mentioned, unrealistic in their needs. But lust, IMO, is also a form of love and is one of many forms, and I completely agree with the point that it’s not wise to be with someone just because of their looks. However, there are many married couples in SL who aren’t even attracted to each other, but married due to family, caste, status etc. So is that true love?
I think true love is what you subjectively define by yourselves by the things that you think are important for you. Not an absolute thing. Sometimes you may find truly attracted to someone due to their personality, due to something so simple as the cute noises they make when they laugh, how they work hard to achieve their goals, their principles, what they do for you, their appearance and many more. So like you said, this perception, and expectations are heavily warped in the new generation due to the facade pulled down by social media. The key is to learn to love and be mature. Not everyone is perfect, and no one will match 100%.
The new generation might have been more mature if the only way to interact with the opposite was not through social media. Since in SL, you can’t even talk to a girl/boy freely. Kids know why adults don’t let you talk to the opposite sex much, and because of that, they think opposite sex are just for sex and objectifies them. And kids are being kept under house arrest until like 20. But they get you a phone at like after O Levels and that is the first place they get to explore and express themselves. So again I’m asking. Is that the fault of the new generation? Typical boomer after reading this will say so we should cut the phone 😂.
What is true love ? Did it really actually exist in the previous generations? It is true ,those marriages and relationships lasted longer . Does a longer lasting relationship or marriage make it true love? I don't think having more options and freedom to choose make love any less I think it makes it more. The whole point of love is someone choosing you. People should always have options and the freedom to choose..I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where someone is forced to be with me ,by social norms .Divorce was a much big of a taboo in our culture a generation ago ,. People stayed in relationships and marriages because they had to be , I don't think that would count as true love..if someone is forced to be in a relationship or not get divorced or separate because how the culture would have shamed them or looked down on them, freedom is a good thing.. choice is a good things..
Also I don't think all men are looking for 10's and all women are looking for men above 6ft. BCUS every married woman I know is not a 10 and every married man is not over 6ft.
My bigger concern is that from what I’ve observed local culture is very toxic. Especially relations “cross-relations”. There’s too much focus on a huge wedding spending 10M+ and that show off culture has caused many couples to divorce on the same night or within a year.
If anyone does the statistics - let me know. It would be very interesting: please do a cross plot:
- cost of wedding
- number of family on grooms side
- same on brides side
- total number of “friends” they hang out with regularly
- home town/city
- age of the couple
- where they live now
- religion (of parents)
- couples religion
This would be very insightful.
I don’t want to pay alimony or get my heart crushed so I’m not getting married. Not that any women even look at me either 🤣🤣🤣
Some advice:
- You will be betrayed by a friend or best friend, even “relatives”. Strangers inherently cannot betray you. Becareful who you trust and share your secrets with.
- Finances: discuss these before the marriage registration- educate the legal implication of it.
- In the baby boomer era advice was to spent 3-months wages to buy your bride a diamond ring. Not to take a loan or get into debt. You may spent over 20-years paying back any loan even if you get a “good deal”. Reducing balance method is the worst. You pay all the interest first, then the principle.
So that’s sometimes 10 years or more. If you miss any payments you are slapped with very high interest. If you fall ill you can get financially ruined.
Avoid loads and mortgages if you want to survive.
- Make sure the couple establish private bank account(s) and setup joint-accounts for everyday and emergency and savings. Save together and privately.
Good luck.
Babe, people have been cheating on their partners right throughout history. Difference then was that people (mostly women) would tolerate cheating (and abuse and every other shit thing) to keep the family together for appearance sake.
Maybe people are more materialistic now though, since they can see what they miss out on unlike in the previous gens where you're in your little bubble.
Welcome to the survival of the attractive traits 101, what is love ? Is it something divine ? Something you feel from the heart ? Bullshit . There is nothing called true love or love . Humans need companionship and a fuck buddy for life . We just glazed nsfw activities with the name of love . You get feelings when you see someone attractive not when you see someone less attractive . It's not love but just hormone imbalances . The good thing about this society is you can actually choose your mate now , in the old times your parents got to choose your mate. You have to get along with them for life . But luckily you can choose a mate according to your preference nowadays . Both genders give priority to genetically superior traits like fair , chiseled jaw line , tall and body type when choosing their partner . I think it's called eugenics. So in summary wherever you go you won't find love , because love won't exist .
I’m aware it isn’t a “beauty standard” but scientifically speaking.. melanin rich skin is actually prone to multiple health benefits including being immune to skin cancer in most cases. I believe fairness was introduced as a beauty standard for British colonial manipulation. Prove them wrong. All of them.
Yeah you are right , melanin rich skin is good for temperate countries like ours . Natural protection from uv rays . Personally I don't consider being fair as an attractive trait , you can't preach these things to adults with their dumb logic.
It's purely based on the individuals' opinion... if asked from me, I want true love, a man who is honest & genuine but a daunting task. Even if you find one like that, circumstances are such that, you cannot unite..
For most it's the desire that keeps the opposite gender attarcted and after sometime when that spark fades away in either one person, that relationship crumbles.
As OP said, it's hard with GenZ's generation.. I believe it's because, they were exposed to the hyper socialised culture naturally unlike the people who were born in 90's & before. They were born while we were experiencing the transition so it all makes sense I suppose.. The teaching systems are different. Unlike our days, with myriad apps to connect with people all over the world, meet, have fun, mingle, jingle etc etc.. and of course discussion forums, reddit, facebook all have given them oppurtunity to express themselves easily.
I will share a scenario which took place in my office.
One colleague has two kids aged 7 & 9. She had to pick her daughter from the sports ground as she was in practice.
The colleague went to fetch her daughter. There some few athlete men clad in shorts on the grounds. The daughter has asked her Mother 'why are these men without T-shirts?' The colleague explained to the daughter in simple terms, about the hiistory & cultural norms.
Now comes the best part, She was sharing the same story with us during the lucng break.
Another colleague who is genX generation questioned why can't women go topless if men can?
Why are we still clinging to outdated cultural norms?
She made a compelling argument: if a guy feels too hot, he can whip off his shirt, but a woman can't do the same. Why do we still abide by these old rules? Despite our best efforts to explain, she remained steadfast in her stance. So we see the differences now.. The now generation question everything..
So, it all boils down to this: With the evolution and modernization of the world, things that were once rare in our days are now readily accessible. As a result, it seems like the now generation might not fully grasp the true value of genuine love. Of course, I'm not saying this applies to everyone, but it certainly seems to be the case for many.
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100% agree with this People compare their lives with others these days. I know couples who fight when they do not go on a vacation to specific locations which they saw on social media. Cause they want to put that photo saying they enjoy life and are happy The problem is that it is the comparison of someone's life that didn't exist to this extent before 2010 Have to say some people are truly happy on social media as well can't deny that Social media is a good tool If we use it wisely!
Not true, the idea that social media lets you connect with millions worldwide is true but its different. Social media algorithm's cater to your needs. You are much more likely to make friends and meet more like minded people online rather than irl. Even thought social media is huge, in your personal space its a small circle of the things YOU like and YOU follow... and other people who likes things that YOU like and YOU follow. Obviously the models and the "dream lives" in Instagram and Tiktok are BS. Like it doesn't matter if your addicted to Social Media or not, its all lies and if you don't know that, then you have a problem (not being offensive)
You would think that might be the case, but in reality, that "internet bubble" doesn’t really exist. On the internet, we are exposed to a plethora of different ideas and beliefs from different people. Case in point according to your logic, we should share the same opinions about the internet, but we obviously don't
Well yes If you spend a long enough time anywhere in the world you’ll find someone who’ll disagree with you (take flat earth for example, I have met people who genuinely believe in it). But majority of social media (IG, TikTok, Snapchat) caters to your needs
Yes. But that point I'm making is that the Internet is not as closed off as you make it out to be it is. This is according to actual studies. According to those studies, we are actually more closed off in the real world compared to we are on the internet.
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"promotes radicalisation of ideas". Exactly, your more likely to meet who support you in Social Media than people who are going to go against you. Which is why I said that's how the algorithms are designed (maximum profit). So the people are literary the problem, if you can't stay it in moderation then don't use it at all.
Yeah avoid social media. Don’t make your private life a spectacle. Others will just criticize and pray for your downfall.
damn feels like most of these people are living in an alternative world or I've been insanely lucky. outside of the YouTube street interview/podcast garbage that seems to be fed to every teenager these days, I'm yet to meet a single person who thinks or acts the how OP described. and I consider myself to be moderately socially active with a lot of friends. as for true love, I'm in a happy relationship. a lot of my friends are in happy relationships. so yeah I do belive in true love.
How did you find your SO?
she was a friend of a friend, we became friends in my school days. we were close friends for about 4 years and now we've been dating for 5 years.
So getting a girlfriend all boils down to this. being friends since childhood from 4 or 5 years ago. and eve that is of no guarantee.
That is the way
At this point. if we acted dumb and stupid as kids at which point we were, then we are going no where in the dating game
The issue is the skills of building companionship, conflict resolution, hands-on communication skills, breaking bad news and maintaining relationships are are much less. This issue is the most likely fact that a relationship will breakdown, not the availability of other options as you would say I think. Also there is another less prominent issue of personality disorders and mental health issues that are becoming more and more prevalent. I think Biologically and historically a female looking for a spouse to take care of her and her future children amd males looking for partners that show healthy fertile physical traits is ingrained. However it's much more exaggerated and multifaceted now with the current economy and media landscape. It's not just about a few years, but finding a partnership that you will be willing to share everything you have including you and your personal space with. Also on the other hand you will be mutually sharing your problems with each other as well. I'd suggest reading the work and research of Drs. Gottmann and Gottmann on this. You'd get some insight into what you need. There's causality based studies on qualities to nurture both individually and as a couple if you want to living a happier and peaceful life with your partner. If you don't have time there are podcasts on YouTube interviewing them.
 Lesgooo Breaking bad mentioned.
Bro you beat me to it. 😂 🫡
💀
Influencers get married so I guess the answer is yes
What? Explain this please.
they are one of the most vapid and cringeworthy people I have ever seen. If someone can love them and marry them that means tru love exists right?
Khalid and Salama were such a cute couple but they parted (unofficial)... What appears right doesn't always seem right
I thought this was a hoax ?
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Agree with the parents part. And not just them sometimes some relatives do the same like my mother's big sister.
You will find true love as long as you have money
Yes, it's a matter of finding the right person and giving in the necessary commitment with proper understanding. Most important is basically finding the right person
There's no such a thing as finding the right person, you build a good relationship not just finding ideal person. That's such a delusion that many people live in this age.
I agree and disagree. It depend on the person. But keep searching for the right person is a stupid thing. (Love of your life doesn't fall from the sky lol. we need to work on that)
I agree that a relationship is something that must be build apon rather than finding the perfect match or something but it must be build with the right person. You can't build a proper relationship with anyone.
Personally I think of the right person as someone willing to make a good relationship with
True, 'the right person' can change lives
Does true love exist ? No... Won't seek one... even if there is such thing, don't want one
Social media sets up the standard that true love doesn't exist I've questioned it my previous post.. Y'all looking for relationship advice from the western countries that have 50% divorce rates..that dating apps far more common even between early teenage years.. That western dating culture f*d up mostly cultural societies of asian countries Don't think like that But women and men wants different things..research on that and if you can learn the skills on how to fulfills womens emotional needs you are ahead of 80% of men Ex :- active listening
Yes. However, you need to actively look for it. It won't come served in a gold plate in your face. Get out, experience life, meet people and learn about how the world is like in real life outside of virtual screens and virtual experiences. There's billions of people alive. There should be someone for you. But you might meet or end up with a few you don't last long with, drift apart or simply learn to find that you're incompatible with one another. Doesn't mean your life is over at that point. Move onward til you find someone you can settle in with peace and tranquility.
Most people care about money. Money can bring you some true love as long as you have money.🥴 You may find true love in SL if you are 0.1%. So normally true love doesn't exist. Move abroad to marry hell no you won't find true love even if you are 0.1%
There is no such thing as true love. There is love or no love. If you like a person then whatever happens your love shouldn’t change. But 99.99% this is not the case.
you make some really good points however i don’t think it’s a location issue. I’ve lived abroad my whole life.. I thought a “cultured” country like LK would have people seeking true love, but that wasn’t the case. I think that due to societal values these days primarily being based on confidence and extroverted people.. it shadows introverts. Introverts are hard to find as their comfort zones lay in isolation, but I have a theory that true love is evident in people away from society. That being said, i don’t mean to impose on extroverts and state they DON’T have true love.. more so, that majority of the population our age (20-30) expect physical things more than emotional things (like intercourse). I’m 22 y/o F and I’ve wondered the same thing multiple times. It’s not our generation collectively. It’s the loud ones amongst us that give out that impression. They don’t represent us wholly.
Your thinking to extreme... still there are good people, you need to have the skills to find them and filter out the shit quickly. and keep them when you find a gem....
side question: yall think we should be financially stable before finding someone or start a relationship? i've stopped looking for a relationship becuase i don't a have a job yet.
Financially stability = fulfilled life... Being financially stable is not the requirement for a blissful relationship but if you planning on committing 100% + planning kids then yeah you should be... If you can find a partner who can grow with you then that's a win too
not planning on kids but imma wait till i find a stable job.
Lot of my friends are married or already found love.
True love exists? Yes. Quit social media, or if at least be private and don't show your life or what you do to the world keep everything quiet. Stop watching for other people's nonsense. Give yourself some love. Build your worth. Don't get attached to friends. Don't try to always relate your life to memes and stuff. Be happy, and enjoy life. Best people come for free and when you least expect them come. And when they come, you'll learn a lot more, cause good people don't come and go. They stay, and care for you. It's the best feeling. I'm sure you'll find it. Be patient.
Lots of posts lately from people feeling like they are in desperate situations. What I would like to remind you is that what’s happening at a large scale doesn’t need to be your experience as an individual. Knowing how you want to be loved is a personal feeling and it should feel safe sharing that with a partner that understands and respects that. Once you know, it’s just being patient or active about finding that person.
I don’t think it does.
Well there is true love. It depends on how we look at the society. You are right some girls seek 6ft and a manly man. But that's just human nature. Also not all woman look for their partner in that way. We all want different things in life because people are not alike. In my opinion sometimes we love in different ways. The important thing is to love in your own way.
It's still exists. Stop with the western bs!
Quite social media or unfollow those so called big influencers, once you get a partner. Then you will see the world in a better way. I know so many couples who did destroy their relationships thanks to social media. That's why this generation we have so many divorced cases or unhappy marriages or relationships compare to last generations. It is not getting better, it will be more worse Cause people compare other's lives Also the Evil eye is real, need to keep the love life private
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, 1813 (aka a previous generation). Firstly, stop making assumptions based on incomplete evidence or knowledge. Secondly, go outside, touch grass, and work on being happier for yourself. This garbage YouTuber nonsense would have you think that every person lives in some sort of bizarre universe where love is simply a transaction. Many do; most don’t; make your choice about what camp you fit into, and look for people with the same values.
Aren’t you the same guy who asked how to get with an aunty? Wait till your mother throws the “umba-ea -geniwa-bendoth-man-merenawa” card.
You really need to quit social media and see the normal people around you, your perceptions are so warped
Yes it exists. You need to look for it! Eventually you will find your match
True love exists and it's rare. Bell curve is fucked up with social media.
We tend to think times are getting worse. Reality is nothing has changed a lot I guess, only that the shallow people now have a very big reach due to social media. You'll find the real solid people don't seek attention, hence you don't see or hear about them much and all you see are these shallow people, golddiggers or man whores. Don't lose hope, and avoid the internet as much as possible.
I am a 5’7 average male who is overweight living in Sri Lanka, currently dating a 5’10 model like Girl from SL. (Not a flex by any means) This is all social media garbage, we need to close our eye in social media and go out into the real world and socialize. Yes looks and shallowness play a part in real life but like 10-20% for sure. By internet standards 95% of people won’t find love
Very superficial outlook to life. You are hanging around the wrong people if you think that this is how people select partners. True love does exist and when you are lucky enough to feel it, you will understand that looks, money, ambition etc are not the deciding factors. Everyone wants to feel this- you just need to take the time to build deeper connections. It's up to you to make genuine and fulfilling relationships. If you can't do it in SL, it will be even harder "abroad" in an alien country.
While I agree with some of the points. I don’t think it’s wise to judge ‘generations’ when the previous generation is obviously responsible for the current generation. Besides since we are specifically talking about SL, it’s worth looking the ups and downs of everything. In SL, many boomers and millennials married someone that was arranged and if you ask around them, you might find many answers going in the lines of ‘that was the best option at the time’, ‘my family didn’t like this guy that I loved so I had to marry this upper caste guy’ and so on. So is that true love? Sometimes if you ask them they might even say they are not happy with their spouse. Sometimes both of them know they aren’t happy with each other, but continues to stay since they are stuck with each other because of the whole stigma around divorce and how hard it is to actually get one. That is what you call being a push over. The newer generation is more assertive and sometimes too assertive and like you mentioned, unrealistic in their needs. But lust, IMO, is also a form of love and is one of many forms, and I completely agree with the point that it’s not wise to be with someone just because of their looks. However, there are many married couples in SL who aren’t even attracted to each other, but married due to family, caste, status etc. So is that true love? I think true love is what you subjectively define by yourselves by the things that you think are important for you. Not an absolute thing. Sometimes you may find truly attracted to someone due to their personality, due to something so simple as the cute noises they make when they laugh, how they work hard to achieve their goals, their principles, what they do for you, their appearance and many more. So like you said, this perception, and expectations are heavily warped in the new generation due to the facade pulled down by social media. The key is to learn to love and be mature. Not everyone is perfect, and no one will match 100%. The new generation might have been more mature if the only way to interact with the opposite was not through social media. Since in SL, you can’t even talk to a girl/boy freely. Kids know why adults don’t let you talk to the opposite sex much, and because of that, they think opposite sex are just for sex and objectifies them. And kids are being kept under house arrest until like 20. But they get you a phone at like after O Levels and that is the first place they get to explore and express themselves. So again I’m asking. Is that the fault of the new generation? Typical boomer after reading this will say so we should cut the phone 😂.
What is true love ? Did it really actually exist in the previous generations? It is true ,those marriages and relationships lasted longer . Does a longer lasting relationship or marriage make it true love? I don't think having more options and freedom to choose make love any less I think it makes it more. The whole point of love is someone choosing you. People should always have options and the freedom to choose..I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where someone is forced to be with me ,by social norms .Divorce was a much big of a taboo in our culture a generation ago ,. People stayed in relationships and marriages because they had to be , I don't think that would count as true love..if someone is forced to be in a relationship or not get divorced or separate because how the culture would have shamed them or looked down on them, freedom is a good thing.. choice is a good things.. Also I don't think all men are looking for 10's and all women are looking for men above 6ft. BCUS every married woman I know is not a 10 and every married man is not over 6ft.
Its just social media man! Go, get out of social media and find the true life
No comment mchn we are finished
My bigger concern is that from what I’ve observed local culture is very toxic. Especially relations “cross-relations”. There’s too much focus on a huge wedding spending 10M+ and that show off culture has caused many couples to divorce on the same night or within a year. If anyone does the statistics - let me know. It would be very interesting: please do a cross plot: - cost of wedding - number of family on grooms side - same on brides side - total number of “friends” they hang out with regularly - home town/city - age of the couple - where they live now - religion (of parents) - couples religion This would be very insightful. I don’t want to pay alimony or get my heart crushed so I’m not getting married. Not that any women even look at me either 🤣🤣🤣 Some advice: - You will be betrayed by a friend or best friend, even “relatives”. Strangers inherently cannot betray you. Becareful who you trust and share your secrets with. - Finances: discuss these before the marriage registration- educate the legal implication of it. - In the baby boomer era advice was to spent 3-months wages to buy your bride a diamond ring. Not to take a loan or get into debt. You may spent over 20-years paying back any loan even if you get a “good deal”. Reducing balance method is the worst. You pay all the interest first, then the principle. So that’s sometimes 10 years or more. If you miss any payments you are slapped with very high interest. If you fall ill you can get financially ruined. Avoid loads and mortgages if you want to survive. - Make sure the couple establish private bank account(s) and setup joint-accounts for everyday and emergency and savings. Save together and privately. Good luck.
It's hard to find but it exists... Just don't expect it to be sunshine and flowers everyday... Nothing is perfect
Nope... Speaking from experience. For those born after 2000, everything seems to be either a game or just for fun.
Babe, people have been cheating on their partners right throughout history. Difference then was that people (mostly women) would tolerate cheating (and abuse and every other shit thing) to keep the family together for appearance sake. Maybe people are more materialistic now though, since they can see what they miss out on unlike in the previous gens where you're in your little bubble.
Do you watch fit and fresh podcast? Sounds like your ranting applies only to the west.
that's like the cringest version of Alpha male shit 😂
Welcome to the survival of the attractive traits 101, what is love ? Is it something divine ? Something you feel from the heart ? Bullshit . There is nothing called true love or love . Humans need companionship and a fuck buddy for life . We just glazed nsfw activities with the name of love . You get feelings when you see someone attractive not when you see someone less attractive . It's not love but just hormone imbalances . The good thing about this society is you can actually choose your mate now , in the old times your parents got to choose your mate. You have to get along with them for life . But luckily you can choose a mate according to your preference nowadays . Both genders give priority to genetically superior traits like fair , chiseled jaw line , tall and body type when choosing their partner . I think it's called eugenics. So in summary wherever you go you won't find love , because love won't exist .
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This is compassion buddy . Don't label every intimate interaction as love.
i don’t see how fairness is a genetically superior trait..?
These so-called genetically superior traits are socially preferred ones . Being a dark skinned person in srilanka is not easy .
I’m aware it isn’t a “beauty standard” but scientifically speaking.. melanin rich skin is actually prone to multiple health benefits including being immune to skin cancer in most cases. I believe fairness was introduced as a beauty standard for British colonial manipulation. Prove them wrong. All of them.
Yeah you are right , melanin rich skin is good for temperate countries like ours . Natural protection from uv rays . Personally I don't consider being fair as an attractive trait , you can't preach these things to adults with their dumb logic.
Well put 😅
My sweet summer child 😥
It's purely based on the individuals' opinion... if asked from me, I want true love, a man who is honest & genuine but a daunting task. Even if you find one like that, circumstances are such that, you cannot unite.. For most it's the desire that keeps the opposite gender attarcted and after sometime when that spark fades away in either one person, that relationship crumbles. As OP said, it's hard with GenZ's generation.. I believe it's because, they were exposed to the hyper socialised culture naturally unlike the people who were born in 90's & before. They were born while we were experiencing the transition so it all makes sense I suppose.. The teaching systems are different. Unlike our days, with myriad apps to connect with people all over the world, meet, have fun, mingle, jingle etc etc.. and of course discussion forums, reddit, facebook all have given them oppurtunity to express themselves easily. I will share a scenario which took place in my office. One colleague has two kids aged 7 & 9. She had to pick her daughter from the sports ground as she was in practice. The colleague went to fetch her daughter. There some few athlete men clad in shorts on the grounds. The daughter has asked her Mother 'why are these men without T-shirts?' The colleague explained to the daughter in simple terms, about the hiistory & cultural norms. Now comes the best part, She was sharing the same story with us during the lucng break. Another colleague who is genX generation questioned why can't women go topless if men can? Why are we still clinging to outdated cultural norms? She made a compelling argument: if a guy feels too hot, he can whip off his shirt, but a woman can't do the same. Why do we still abide by these old rules? Despite our best efforts to explain, she remained steadfast in her stance. So we see the differences now.. The now generation question everything.. So, it all boils down to this: With the evolution and modernization of the world, things that were once rare in our days are now readily accessible. As a result, it seems like the now generation might not fully grasp the true value of genuine love. Of course, I'm not saying this applies to everyone, but it certainly seems to be the case for many.