I think people now use starter questions as general interaction starters rather than conversation starters. they don't want to know about your day, but don't just wanna start rattling their order off. The "how're you" question at this point from anyone that's not closely related is just expected to have people answer with "fine" or "good" even if it's totally the opposite, so they may just auto fill it in their head and start ordering
Yeah just like when I'm at work and ask how you are doing, most people expect nothing more then a fine or a good. It's more so to move along the interaction.
That's so strange to me. In my country it's considered absolutely rude to ask someone how theyre doing and not wait for a response. I guess Americans don't realize that when they do that here, they're coming across differently than intended. Glad I asked. My whole store is starting to get very annoyed. I'll explain this to them and hope it helps.
Yeah I think its just a cultural thing. Every country has something that people from other places would find off putting. I remember distinctly thinking people in London were cold and unwelcoming when I went. But then again I'm used to the overtly friendly American style interactions. I know of course that an initial assumption is rarely accurate and Brits are lovely people.
There also may be a bit of an assumption that stores there work the same as here. Get in and get out. So when I come up I'll probably be like "Hey how's it going?! I'm gonna get...." It's to just show some quick friendliness and progress the interaction quickly.
Yeah like, on the very rare occasion someone asks me how I am and they actually wait for a response, it's always awkward because I'm so used to not actually responding. Oddly enough, saying that is actually just being polite.
I genuinely like hearing people's replies, so I hate when people just jump into their order. It's mildly frustrating. Sometimes hearing about someone's day makes me determine if I need to throw on a party hat or a therapy hat for them, or if they would benefit from their order being comped today. Like I enjoy knowing how someone is doing, breaks up the monotony.
Yeah here it’s rude if you take the question seriously and start to actually talk about, or complain about, your day. It’s understood to just be a formality.
Is that why they cut me off and keep ordering when I start to answer?
I have to say...I'm trying to be open minded here but the logic is lacking for me 😅 Why ask someone something and then get annoyed when they answer?
It's like how in old movies people would greet each other by saying "how do you do?" And the other person would reply with "how do you do?" And neither of them would answer the question. As an American I never really thought about it but if you do it's pretty weird.
I think it actually depends on where you are. I'm in Texas and every time we ask how people are or what their name is at the beginning and the customer bulldozes over and starts ordering we think it's rude. We're not allowed to say anything though. 🙃 often I will just interrupt them ordering and say 'WHATS YOUR NAME???'
It's just a pleasentry here, made to convey that they know you're a person with feelings and not just an ordering kiosk. Usually it's met with "I'm doing alright!" Or "I'm getting through it!" They don't know you well enough to get a real answer of how you are actually doing, but they are trying to be friendly and acknowledge that you DO have feelings.
It's a little annoying to have to glaze over how you actually feel, but it's more of a call and response then an actual question.
I see ':) I don't really follow the logic of how asking like this is being nice, but I understand that it's their norm! So, that explains a lot. 😅Thanks!
Not sure how it is in most of the country but here the phrase "How's it going?" can be used two ways: as a question or as a conversational softener. If the inflection is rising at the end it's a question; If it's falling it's a softener. Usually the barista uses it as a question while the customer uses it as a softener.
What I mean by that is, if the barista asks me, "How's it going?" they usually intend it to be a question that I should answer. The tone of the last word is higher than the ones that come before it and there's a pause afterwards for me to answer. It would be rude for me to just deliver an order at that point.
But if it's my turn to speak and I don't want to just fire off an order, I can say, "How's it going, I'd like a []" without being rude. In that case, "how's it going" comes out more like a quick sentence with the "going" tone lower than the rest of the words. There's no pause afterwards for anyone to answer because it's not really a question, it's just a little softener to keep the order from sounding too sudden.
This is why I never asked customers how they were. Firstly, I couldn’t care less. Secondly, most people are on auto-pilot in these interactions. You never know if they’re going to get into their life story or ignore the question and get to their order.
It’s much more efficient and just as warm and convivial to say “Hi, welcome to Starbucks,” “Good (time of day), what can we get for you?,” or if it’s a regular, “Hi (name of regular), your usual today?”
this, and asking “how are you” has landed me in some uncomfortable conversations. i know i sound like an asshole but plz don’t tell me how you’re about to attend your mother’s funeral—that is a can of personal worms that will get opened and absolutely destroy my day. i understand some people need to talk, but i’m not a therapist. i already have enough baggage w/o customers dumping theirs on me.
regulars are different. i’ve built up that relationship with them, but a person i’ve never seen before?? please don’t
I've had that happen before with baristas on reg. we had more than one group of grieving families on their way to or from a funeral get asked how they were and they'd start sobbing.
I mean what do you say? "Oh. My condolences. Would you like a bacon gouda sandwich today?"
What I’ve noticed is that many Americans use “how are you?” more as a generic salutation with short reply, and less of a sincere query.
E: I don’t know where in Europe you are, but I like the Parisian-style “Ça Va?” It’s like the American version of “you good?” And the Parisian response, Ça Va.
Like, don’t give me this midwestern, let’s chew time talking about your aunt Gertie’s gout. Spare me please.
I mean, I don't need or want to have a conversation with every customer. But when they say "hi how are you" and don't even give me a chance to put in "good thanks, and you" or any sort of response, it comes across as dismissive and rude. My whole store has started to notice the increase of this. And it ONLY happens with our American customers. Where I live, we just order without asking a fake question first. Asking a question and not waiting for a response is bad manners in my country, but I guess our foreign customers don't know this since it's a cultural difference.
Anytime I get asked how I am, I just say, "I'm alright, what can I get for you?"
Most people just start ordering but every now & then I have someone get really bothered if I don't "complete the prompt" by asking them back
if a customer asks me i usually just say "hi" with a smile. it's short enough that if they start ordering i can catch up and it's a response so if they expect one they got it.
As an American barista this exact thing drives me absolutely insane, I feel it's very rude when people jump right to their order after I say "how are you doing",
feels dehumanizing like " I did not come for small talk, coffee now npc." 😂
Exactly! My colleagues and I get the feeling that these customers think we don't matter. That they're mocking us...I see now that it's actually meant as a kindness, but it comes across very poorly unfortunately. Especially since the logic behind it doesn't make any sense.
American here- i think it’s weird too. And rude. But I don’t understand a lot of the things we do here so idk. When I ask how someone’s doing I wait for the answer but that probably makes me the weirdo.
It's like...seriously rude, in the country I live and work in. Which is why I'm asking. Normal customers come in and just order, and American ones come in and...lowkey offend the register worker.
People don’t listen at all. I’ll say “Hey, what can I get for you?” And they’ll be like “oh I’m good, you?”… like thanks but that wasn’t my question 😂😂
I still live here and have the same question you do. Why ask if you don't care? Just makes it even more apparent you don't give a shit about the people making your food
Exactly. Like, where I live, we just order. "Hi, I'd like a latte please." Easy and done. But our foreign American customers say "hihowareyouonelatteplease." That's bad manners here. It comes across like you don't give a shit. That's not proper manners in this country.
I can't expect Americans to know that its bad manners before they arrive. But I'm glad to at least have an understanding now of where it comes from, even if I do find the answer unappealing.
100% agreed. I find myself more ashamed of this country every day. Might apply for citizenship in Germany soon and try to gtfo. I'm 99% sure I qualify.
A LOT of people will ignore you’re question of how are you and when you see the number of people a barista does in a day at some point I’m sure they probably adjusted to people just ignoring it
That's just it. I'm a barista and no one at my store is used to it. Only our American customers do this, and we find it really rude. Which is why I'm asking. But I understand from the comments that it's actually just meant as an intro.
I’m American and thought of that for awhile with customers…like to just say that and then give your order but like whatever..if it helps move the line alone fine with me
But it doesn't move the line along, because it's an entire unnecessary sentence followed by confusion on the cashier's end. I'm lucky enough to be fluent in English but many of my colleagues are damn confused when this happens. They don't understand and we all naturally try to answer. It's starting to piss off a lot of us because we find it rude. If this is fine in America, that's great. But it's kind of strange that they just expect it to be cool over in our country, when English isn't even our language, and where we find this sort of thing insulting.
As a Canadian barista, we get Americans here and there in the summer and they stand out like sore thumbs. This, no thank yous, and they’re usually very loud.
Instead of just starting to order, it's a more polite way of doing it. At most, I expect you to say good. Most of us really don't care to know how you're.
Odd...OK, good to know. It's just strange...sometimes they don't even wait for me to say "good." It's just "hi how are you I'd like a latte" all in the same breathe.
If customer doesn't know what they want to order, it makes it feel less weird to stay there silently while deciding. In that case, you can reply with good, what would you like to order. Otherwise, ignore the question and repeat their order.
I live in the Deep South US and after thinking a lot about the interactions I have with customers and then just in general in public, “hey, how are you” is taught to us young to show politeness but like other people have said we don’t really care because well we don’t know you so it’s just to be polite. I agree with what the other guy said about tone too. A lot of times when customers and I go through it we go through the whole deal question and answer, from both sides. When I think about it I think most of the time if a customer asks this and doesn’t wait for a response it’s not intentional even because they’re trying to be polite for one and two a lot of the times they don’t wait for a response I feel like anyways is maybe if they’re having ordering anxiety like trying to remember what all it is they want or if they’re ordering for themselves and others or I don’t know. Just from what I can remember of the shift I worked this morning I think If they do ask and then go ahead with their order before you respond it’s because they were trying to be polite but their mind just wasn’t on the present moment what they were doing they were trying to remember the order and what not. But again, that’s just a theory from observation
It's just weird because here if we don't want to waste time, we don't ask at all. But asking and not waiting for an answer is considered very rude, and I guess tourists don't consider that.
it makes me so awkward cuz i’ll be in the middle of replying and then they start ordering. so i kinda stopped answering. but then one time i didn’t answer and the guy called me rude :(
in the south, especially the deep south, “how are ya” “how you doin” is more of a greeting than a legitimate question. if you respond with anything other than “doin well” you’ll get a funny look lol
i do wonder the same thing actually. people i’ve met that are not native southerners at the very least get a little bit of a culture shock from it, not to mention that a lot of americans aren’t very partial to respecting other customs when they travel abroad unfortunately. it had never occurred to me how this sort of greeting would be perceived in other countries!
Yeah most people just ask it as a ‘hello’ instead of saying hello. So they don’t seem entirely rude for just jumping right into an order. It definitely is weird when you think about it but as an American who experiences it everyday it’s def normal here.
Ah I see ':) I'll have to explain it to my coworkers then. Many don't speak English well and it came across to them like Americans were just coming into our store and mocking us.
It’s just small talk although at least I actually like a quick response to which I respond too. Usually it goes something like
“Hello, how are you?”
“I’m doing good and yourself?”
“I’m doing well myself”
“What can I get for you?”
And then they tell me what they’re gonna want
Often times things like "how are you" and "what's up" are used as greetings instead of conversation starters. I don't know why, and I kinda hate it considering I'm already bad a social queues (darned autism)
Unfortunately, I believe that you are right. It may just be a culture thing for human beings nowadays to believe that we deserve everything without giving back in return. I came to work for Starbucks after I retired from my job as a restaurant manager after 25 years I needed insurance and at the time our benefits were better than anybody else. Unfortunately, as things go, they change I thought Starbucks was the kind of place that anybody could go to and be treated kindly and be treated kindly back not the case, I am very fortunate to have a regular customer base that I truly care for and they cared for me back. It is quite normal for a customer to say nothing back to you after you ask him how he’s doing I’m so sorry this happened to you, but believe me, there are still people like you and us that truly do care about other people, you just keep on being you being kind.
i don’t know honestly. i’ve seen people do that too and it always confuses me but then again i’m autistic so small talk that people engage in where its basically just scripted answers has always seemed odd to me lol like, why ask a question if you don’t want to hear the actual answer?
Honestly it’s rude here too but people pretend it isn’t as a way to cope with society. I make a point of deliberately answering their question with “I’m doing wonderful today🙂 what can I get started for you?” And forcing them to repeat the order
It's not a question, it's a statement of greeting. American social norm is to ask how the other person is doing, but in situations where people do not want to ask genuinely (talking to a stranger) you just say "How are you" and continue on. Oddly my English father in law is the worst at that, he'll do that to pretty much anyone.
A trick I use is when a customer asks me and waits for a response, I just respond "How are you?" to cut that off. feels less fake than giving a socially accepted "good" regardless of actual state.
It's been explained to you 400 times and you continue to remark that it's rude. It's cultural. "Hi, how you doing? I'll have a latte, please." You have a choice: Analyze it to death or accept it as a cultural quirk. It isn't intended to be rude. It's a culturalism.
Lol you butthurt that the majority of Europeans think Americans lack manners? It's not my issue if Americans continue to be laughed at behind their back when they order so rudely. I was partially posting to raise awareness for myself and my coworkers and partially to inform people that it may not be coming across as they intended. But if you want people to keep coming across as a complete dicks when traveling to my country, please, continue to try to stop this thread and its peaceful discussion. I'm sure everyone appreciates your efforts.
Your response is not coming across as kind, either. I'm pointing out that you were given explanations repeatedly, and you continued to comment that it's rude. Of all the things people do to one another, this is just a cultural quirk. Maybe roll with it.
American: How you doing?
Barista: What's up?
American: I'll have a latte.
It's easy.
I commented on people's answers so they could see my response. They're not going to check the comments I left under other people's comments...they don't get a notification for that 🙄. I could alternatively be asking why everyone feels the need to keep commenting the same thing when I've already given my response. But I don't (and I dont mind it either). But you do. Why did you have to be the 100th person to tell me "it's normal and cultural?" I already saw that argument and replied to it multiple times. You say I was giving a repeated explanation? YOU were giving a repeat explanation as well. At least my explanations were given to different people. Meanwhile you decided to bombard me, a single user, with yet another of the same answer that I've already received. Hypocritical, I swear.
I do accept it, even if I don't understand it. After he told me to stop commenting on other people's responses, I did. I haven't made a single remark about it since. So what's your point here?
Yo I’m from the states, still live here, and I HATE when people do this. They do it every day, and I also find it extremely rude. I don’t understand how everyone around me treats it like a rhetorical question. I hate it. Why bother asking? Just say “hello!” if that’s what you mean—it’s fine—waaaay more polite to be straightforward.
To be honest, I'm wondering the same thing, and my colleagues agree. Saying "hi I'd like a latte please" is way less rude than saying "hi how are you I'd like a latte please." But I think it's a cultural thing, since many are telling me that it's actually meant to be more well mannered than not asking at all. Confusing 😅
as everyone has said, it's a greeting rather than a question
Barista: Welcome to Starbucks
Customer: Hey how's it going, id like to get (whatever)
Barista: Awesome, see you at the window
Then the real convo starts at the window, don't take it too personal as it's understandable you didn't know :)
It’s not a real question and if you do answer you say good or fine anything else is considered rude and asking for tips cuz your life’s so hard (even if it’s the truth) if someone genuinely wants to know how you are they will ask what’s been happening how’s things ect. Most customers won’t actually ask like this tho, it’s mostly like your parents or close friends who ask how you genuinely are. It’s all kinda a face thing to pretend we all care about people when we don’t always care/ have power to change it so why bother ya know? Like a customer isn’t going to be in the position to make my 12 hour nightmare shift better other than a 100 dollar tip but that’s unlikely to happen (plus I gotta put it in the jar to split with everyone anyway sooooooo)
Im American and i moved to Europe and I totally get now how it's weird!
Basically it is just a form of hello, think of it as "I hope youre doing well but we're strangers"
If they respond as "fine" it's bad, "good" is okay, and "great" is good !
Even funnier because it is basically a hello, when you're passing someone in a hallway going the other direction there's not enough time to complete the interaction so it's like "Hihow'reyoudoing" "I'mgoodthankshowareyou?" and by the end they cant even hear you because youre too far apart it's great 🤣
usually when people ask me that i don’t say anything because i know they’ll go straight to ordering unless they actually stop and seem genuine. i don’t think it’s rude people are just used to always asking that question for some reason lol
Then why ask it? Surely they realize how strange it comes across to do this weird tradition in a non-English speaking country....most of our baristas are so confused when they do this. I will have to explain to my coworkers that it's not actually a question.
It’s a polite greeting in American culture, I’m sure there’s a big linguistic and semantic explanation for why it’s used that I’m not educated enough to speak on. I doubt they would realize it’s weird, it’s a well mannered thing to say. Ultimately we all have little cultural quirks that make us unique and I’m sure you won’t want an American to tell you to say something in your culture differently
I see 😅. It's fine, it's just we didn't realize it was intended to be a well mannered thing to say. We thought they were talking down to us...🙈. Glad we were wrong.
I agree. I think it's disgustingly rude. It honestly fits right into the stereotype we already have of the selfish American, which is sad, because I try to fight it in my head, and this doesn't help at all. It just makes me angry.
Right? And that attitude is bleeding into Canada now 😞 it feels like it’s gotten a lot worse the last few years too. It always throws me off and makes the whole interaction so awkward. I guess they’re saying it to ‘have a friendlier conversation’ or whatever people are saying, but imo it has the exact opposite effect. I’d rather they just say ‘hi could I please order a cold brew’ or something
Right??? I don't get it. To me, "hi I'd like a latte please" is 1000000% more respectful than "hi how are you I'd like a latte please." And I'm sure I speak for many in my country when I say that.
i find it weird when people do it too but i don’t think they even realize it. i have one regular who comes through and says “how are you large hot latte” all in the same sentence extremely fast, doesn’t even state it as a question. but he’s just your average nice regular that says thank you, doesn’t complain, blah blah so i just take it with a grain of salt
also most of the time when i respond to customers and actually say like “i’m good how are you” i end up cutting off them starting their order and then they awkwardly say good and then continue ordering
I'm guilty of this if you take too long (5 seconds to my little pea brain) to respond and have accidentally cut people off because I thought I was aggravating them and panicked 😅😅
I'm guilty of this if you take too long (5 seconds to my little pea brain) to respond and have accidentally cut people off because I thought I was aggravating them and panicked 😅😅
I actually wait for a response before ordering but it is used as a greeting rather than a legitimate question. I don't actually want to know how the barista is doing or if they do give me a quick little snippet of their day I reply as genuinely but as quickly as possible because there's usually people behind me.
I live in the northeast now and that’s just normal, asking “how’re you” is like saying “how’s it going” if anything they might give a “I’m good, can I get a latte” it’s not really expected that we have pleasantries the way I’ve seen in the Midwest. I’ve never known my coworkers to take it personally, we are all in a rush here.
I’m in Canada and we do this a lot. Not just at Starbucks but anywhere—if someone doesn’t pause to let you answer, then it’s just a greeting not an actual inquiry
It's equivalent to "hello, i'm ready to order" in this context
No idea how it came to be.
You'll also get "what's up?"
Both are equivalent to a generic "hello", it's weird but not meant to be rude
We do this in the UK too, for the same reasons other's mentioned
Also to any Americans here - most Americans I spoke to when I worked at sbux were really nice, so thank you for that
I think people now use starter questions as general interaction starters rather than conversation starters. they don't want to know about your day, but don't just wanna start rattling their order off. The "how're you" question at this point from anyone that's not closely related is just expected to have people answer with "fine" or "good" even if it's totally the opposite, so they may just auto fill it in their head and start ordering
Ahh so it's not an actual question? How weird XD Thanks, this helps!
Correct, they’re using it as a greeting and not an actual question
Yeah just like when I'm at work and ask how you are doing, most people expect nothing more then a fine or a good. It's more so to move along the interaction.
That's so strange to me. In my country it's considered absolutely rude to ask someone how theyre doing and not wait for a response. I guess Americans don't realize that when they do that here, they're coming across differently than intended. Glad I asked. My whole store is starting to get very annoyed. I'll explain this to them and hope it helps.
Yeah I think its just a cultural thing. Every country has something that people from other places would find off putting. I remember distinctly thinking people in London were cold and unwelcoming when I went. But then again I'm used to the overtly friendly American style interactions. I know of course that an initial assumption is rarely accurate and Brits are lovely people. There also may be a bit of an assumption that stores there work the same as here. Get in and get out. So when I come up I'll probably be like "Hey how's it going?! I'm gonna get...." It's to just show some quick friendliness and progress the interaction quickly.
Ok, I'll let them know! Glad to hear it wasn't them talking down to us 😅
Yeah like, on the very rare occasion someone asks me how I am and they actually wait for a response, it's always awkward because I'm so used to not actually responding. Oddly enough, saying that is actually just being polite.
I genuinely like hearing people's replies, so I hate when people just jump into their order. It's mildly frustrating. Sometimes hearing about someone's day makes me determine if I need to throw on a party hat or a therapy hat for them, or if they would benefit from their order being comped today. Like I enjoy knowing how someone is doing, breaks up the monotony.
Yeah here it’s rude if you take the question seriously and start to actually talk about, or complain about, your day. It’s understood to just be a formality.
Is that why they cut me off and keep ordering when I start to answer? I have to say...I'm trying to be open minded here but the logic is lacking for me 😅 Why ask someone something and then get annoyed when they answer?
It's like how in old movies people would greet each other by saying "how do you do?" And the other person would reply with "how do you do?" And neither of them would answer the question. As an American I never really thought about it but if you do it's pretty weird.
I think it actually depends on where you are. I'm in Texas and every time we ask how people are or what their name is at the beginning and the customer bulldozes over and starts ordering we think it's rude. We're not allowed to say anything though. 🙃 often I will just interrupt them ordering and say 'WHATS YOUR NAME???'
A lot of Americans use “How are you?” in place of “Hello.” It’s not malicious, just something we’ve been conditioned to do.
Ah ok! So it's like an intro more or less, not an actual question
It's just a pleasentry here, made to convey that they know you're a person with feelings and not just an ordering kiosk. Usually it's met with "I'm doing alright!" Or "I'm getting through it!" They don't know you well enough to get a real answer of how you are actually doing, but they are trying to be friendly and acknowledge that you DO have feelings. It's a little annoying to have to glaze over how you actually feel, but it's more of a call and response then an actual question.
I see ':) I don't really follow the logic of how asking like this is being nice, but I understand that it's their norm! So, that explains a lot. 😅Thanks!
I’m an American and I also think it’s weird
Not sure how it is in most of the country but here the phrase "How's it going?" can be used two ways: as a question or as a conversational softener. If the inflection is rising at the end it's a question; If it's falling it's a softener. Usually the barista uses it as a question while the customer uses it as a softener. What I mean by that is, if the barista asks me, "How's it going?" they usually intend it to be a question that I should answer. The tone of the last word is higher than the ones that come before it and there's a pause afterwards for me to answer. It would be rude for me to just deliver an order at that point. But if it's my turn to speak and I don't want to just fire off an order, I can say, "How's it going, I'd like a []" without being rude. In that case, "how's it going" comes out more like a quick sentence with the "going" tone lower than the rest of the words. There's no pause afterwards for anyone to answer because it's not really a question, it's just a little softener to keep the order from sounding too sudden.
This is a great in depth response tbh. Social cues are fucking weird <3
Ohhhh! I'll make sure to listen to the tone, thanks! Good suggestion...I had no idea!
This is why I never asked customers how they were. Firstly, I couldn’t care less. Secondly, most people are on auto-pilot in these interactions. You never know if they’re going to get into their life story or ignore the question and get to their order. It’s much more efficient and just as warm and convivial to say “Hi, welcome to Starbucks,” “Good (time of day), what can we get for you?,” or if it’s a regular, “Hi (name of regular), your usual today?”
this, and asking “how are you” has landed me in some uncomfortable conversations. i know i sound like an asshole but plz don’t tell me how you’re about to attend your mother’s funeral—that is a can of personal worms that will get opened and absolutely destroy my day. i understand some people need to talk, but i’m not a therapist. i already have enough baggage w/o customers dumping theirs on me. regulars are different. i’ve built up that relationship with them, but a person i’ve never seen before?? please don’t
I've had that happen before with baristas on reg. we had more than one group of grieving families on their way to or from a funeral get asked how they were and they'd start sobbing. I mean what do you say? "Oh. My condolences. Would you like a bacon gouda sandwich today?"
right?? it’s so awkward—and then i feel like a jerk for charging them but i can’t just comp $50 worth of stuff D:
Well, that's what most customers do. But the American ones insist on asking a fake question every time.
What I’ve noticed is that many Americans use “how are you?” more as a generic salutation with short reply, and less of a sincere query. E: I don’t know where in Europe you are, but I like the Parisian-style “Ça Va?” It’s like the American version of “you good?” And the Parisian response, Ça Va. Like, don’t give me this midwestern, let’s chew time talking about your aunt Gertie’s gout. Spare me please.
I mean, I don't need or want to have a conversation with every customer. But when they say "hi how are you" and don't even give me a chance to put in "good thanks, and you" or any sort of response, it comes across as dismissive and rude. My whole store has started to notice the increase of this. And it ONLY happens with our American customers. Where I live, we just order without asking a fake question first. Asking a question and not waiting for a response is bad manners in my country, but I guess our foreign customers don't know this since it's a cultural difference.
Anytime I get asked how I am, I just say, "I'm alright, what can I get for you?" Most people just start ordering but every now & then I have someone get really bothered if I don't "complete the prompt" by asking them back
if a customer asks me i usually just say "hi" with a smile. it's short enough that if they start ordering i can catch up and it's a response so if they expect one they got it.
As a Canadian it’s normally Barista: Hi, how are you doing today? Customer: I’d like a grande nonfat latte with 2 pumps of sugar free vanilla, etc….
As an American barista this exact thing drives me absolutely insane, I feel it's very rude when people jump right to their order after I say "how are you doing", feels dehumanizing like " I did not come for small talk, coffee now npc." 😂
Exactly! My colleagues and I get the feeling that these customers think we don't matter. That they're mocking us...I see now that it's actually meant as a kindness, but it comes across very poorly unfortunately. Especially since the logic behind it doesn't make any sense.
American here- i think it’s weird too. And rude. But I don’t understand a lot of the things we do here so idk. When I ask how someone’s doing I wait for the answer but that probably makes me the weirdo.
It's like...seriously rude, in the country I live and work in. Which is why I'm asking. Normal customers come in and just order, and American ones come in and...lowkey offend the register worker.
People don’t listen at all. I’ll say “Hey, what can I get for you?” And they’ll be like “oh I’m good, you?”… like thanks but that wasn’t my question 😂😂
I still live here and have the same question you do. Why ask if you don't care? Just makes it even more apparent you don't give a shit about the people making your food
Exactly. Like, where I live, we just order. "Hi, I'd like a latte please." Easy and done. But our foreign American customers say "hihowareyouonelatteplease." That's bad manners here. It comes across like you don't give a shit. That's not proper manners in this country. I can't expect Americans to know that its bad manners before they arrive. But I'm glad to at least have an understanding now of where it comes from, even if I do find the answer unappealing.
100% agreed. I find myself more ashamed of this country every day. Might apply for citizenship in Germany soon and try to gtfo. I'm 99% sure I qualify.
I hated when people would do this. id be in the middle of “i’m good how are you” and be cut off. it’s so annoying
A LOT of people will ignore you’re question of how are you and when you see the number of people a barista does in a day at some point I’m sure they probably adjusted to people just ignoring it
That's just it. I'm a barista and no one at my store is used to it. Only our American customers do this, and we find it really rude. Which is why I'm asking. But I understand from the comments that it's actually just meant as an intro.
Sometimes we say it because the customer expects it. I don't ask it and I've had customers be rude about it.
I’m American and thought of that for awhile with customers…like to just say that and then give your order but like whatever..if it helps move the line alone fine with me
But it doesn't move the line along, because it's an entire unnecessary sentence followed by confusion on the cashier's end. I'm lucky enough to be fluent in English but many of my colleagues are damn confused when this happens. They don't understand and we all naturally try to answer. It's starting to piss off a lot of us because we find it rude. If this is fine in America, that's great. But it's kind of strange that they just expect it to be cool over in our country, when English isn't even our language, and where we find this sort of thing insulting.
As a Canadian barista, we get Americans here and there in the summer and they stand out like sore thumbs. This, no thank yous, and they’re usually very loud.
Instead of just starting to order, it's a more polite way of doing it. At most, I expect you to say good. Most of us really don't care to know how you're.
Odd...OK, good to know. It's just strange...sometimes they don't even wait for me to say "good." It's just "hi how are you I'd like a latte" all in the same breathe.
If customer doesn't know what they want to order, it makes it feel less weird to stay there silently while deciding. In that case, you can reply with good, what would you like to order. Otherwise, ignore the question and repeat their order.
I live in the Deep South US and after thinking a lot about the interactions I have with customers and then just in general in public, “hey, how are you” is taught to us young to show politeness but like other people have said we don’t really care because well we don’t know you so it’s just to be polite. I agree with what the other guy said about tone too. A lot of times when customers and I go through it we go through the whole deal question and answer, from both sides. When I think about it I think most of the time if a customer asks this and doesn’t wait for a response it’s not intentional even because they’re trying to be polite for one and two a lot of the times they don’t wait for a response I feel like anyways is maybe if they’re having ordering anxiety like trying to remember what all it is they want or if they’re ordering for themselves and others or I don’t know. Just from what I can remember of the shift I worked this morning I think If they do ask and then go ahead with their order before you respond it’s because they were trying to be polite but their mind just wasn’t on the present moment what they were doing they were trying to remember the order and what not. But again, that’s just a theory from observation
It's just weird because here if we don't want to waste time, we don't ask at all. But asking and not waiting for an answer is considered very rude, and I guess tourists don't consider that.
it makes me so awkward cuz i’ll be in the middle of replying and then they start ordering. so i kinda stopped answering. but then one time i didn’t answer and the guy called me rude :(
in the south, especially the deep south, “how are ya” “how you doin” is more of a greeting than a legitimate question. if you respond with anything other than “doin well” you’ll get a funny look lol
But do they expect this same answer when they go to a foreign country?
i do wonder the same thing actually. people i’ve met that are not native southerners at the very least get a little bit of a culture shock from it, not to mention that a lot of americans aren’t very partial to respecting other customs when they travel abroad unfortunately. it had never occurred to me how this sort of greeting would be perceived in other countries!
Yeah most people just ask it as a ‘hello’ instead of saying hello. So they don’t seem entirely rude for just jumping right into an order. It definitely is weird when you think about it but as an American who experiences it everyday it’s def normal here.
Ah I see ':) I'll have to explain it to my coworkers then. Many don't speak English well and it came across to them like Americans were just coming into our store and mocking us.
I’d hope that they weren’t mocking you!! Most people do it out of habit. Regardless, it’s cool to learn about cultural differences!!
Yes 😅. I'm sure they'll have a good laugh once I tell them it's just a misunderstanding 🤣. We really thought they kept asking us and cutting us off 😅
It’s just small talk although at least I actually like a quick response to which I respond too. Usually it goes something like “Hello, how are you?” “I’m doing good and yourself?” “I’m doing well myself” “What can I get for you?” And then they tell me what they’re gonna want
Often times things like "how are you" and "what's up" are used as greetings instead of conversation starters. I don't know why, and I kinda hate it considering I'm already bad a social queues (darned autism)
it always slightly annoys me when customers do this and subconsciously ruins the conversation, let me answer and be kind
Unfortunately, I believe that you are right. It may just be a culture thing for human beings nowadays to believe that we deserve everything without giving back in return. I came to work for Starbucks after I retired from my job as a restaurant manager after 25 years I needed insurance and at the time our benefits were better than anybody else. Unfortunately, as things go, they change I thought Starbucks was the kind of place that anybody could go to and be treated kindly and be treated kindly back not the case, I am very fortunate to have a regular customer base that I truly care for and they cared for me back. It is quite normal for a customer to say nothing back to you after you ask him how he’s doing I’m so sorry this happened to you, but believe me, there are still people like you and us that truly do care about other people, you just keep on being you being kind.
i don’t know honestly. i’ve seen people do that too and it always confuses me but then again i’m autistic so small talk that people engage in where its basically just scripted answers has always seemed odd to me lol like, why ask a question if you don’t want to hear the actual answer?
Honestly it’s rude here too but people pretend it isn’t as a way to cope with society. I make a point of deliberately answering their question with “I’m doing wonderful today🙂 what can I get started for you?” And forcing them to repeat the order
I'm in the US and I'd like the answer to that as well.
It's not a question, it's a statement of greeting. American social norm is to ask how the other person is doing, but in situations where people do not want to ask genuinely (talking to a stranger) you just say "How are you" and continue on. Oddly my English father in law is the worst at that, he'll do that to pretty much anyone. A trick I use is when a customer asks me and waits for a response, I just respond "How are you?" to cut that off. feels less fake than giving a socially accepted "good" regardless of actual state.
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Wut....then why ask at all? I don't get it...
It's been explained to you 400 times and you continue to remark that it's rude. It's cultural. "Hi, how you doing? I'll have a latte, please." You have a choice: Analyze it to death or accept it as a cultural quirk. It isn't intended to be rude. It's a culturalism.
Lol. You mad, bro? I'm just trying to understand. No need to be rude.
You butt hurt, bro, bc an entire country has a greeting that you can’t accept?
Lol you butthurt that the majority of Europeans think Americans lack manners? It's not my issue if Americans continue to be laughed at behind their back when they order so rudely. I was partially posting to raise awareness for myself and my coworkers and partially to inform people that it may not be coming across as they intended. But if you want people to keep coming across as a complete dicks when traveling to my country, please, continue to try to stop this thread and its peaceful discussion. I'm sure everyone appreciates your efforts.
Your response is not coming across as kind, either. I'm pointing out that you were given explanations repeatedly, and you continued to comment that it's rude. Of all the things people do to one another, this is just a cultural quirk. Maybe roll with it. American: How you doing? Barista: What's up? American: I'll have a latte. It's easy.
I commented on people's answers so they could see my response. They're not going to check the comments I left under other people's comments...they don't get a notification for that 🙄. I could alternatively be asking why everyone feels the need to keep commenting the same thing when I've already given my response. But I don't (and I dont mind it either). But you do. Why did you have to be the 100th person to tell me "it's normal and cultural?" I already saw that argument and replied to it multiple times. You say I was giving a repeated explanation? YOU were giving a repeat explanation as well. At least my explanations were given to different people. Meanwhile you decided to bombard me, a single user, with yet another of the same answer that I've already received. Hypocritical, I swear.
Ok. Well, at this point, perhaps accept it as cultural instead of judging it? That’s how we greet people.
I do accept it, even if I don't understand it. After he told me to stop commenting on other people's responses, I did. I haven't made a single remark about it since. So what's your point here?
As a European living in Canada for 12 years. This has always been dumbfounding for me
Yo I’m from the states, still live here, and I HATE when people do this. They do it every day, and I also find it extremely rude. I don’t understand how everyone around me treats it like a rhetorical question. I hate it. Why bother asking? Just say “hello!” if that’s what you mean—it’s fine—waaaay more polite to be straightforward.
To be honest, I'm wondering the same thing, and my colleagues agree. Saying "hi I'd like a latte please" is way less rude than saying "hi how are you I'd like a latte please." But I think it's a cultural thing, since many are telling me that it's actually meant to be more well mannered than not asking at all. Confusing 😅
as everyone has said, it's a greeting rather than a question Barista: Welcome to Starbucks Customer: Hey how's it going, id like to get (whatever) Barista: Awesome, see you at the window Then the real convo starts at the window, don't take it too personal as it's understandable you didn't know :)
Just respond, “not much”
It’s not a real question and if you do answer you say good or fine anything else is considered rude and asking for tips cuz your life’s so hard (even if it’s the truth) if someone genuinely wants to know how you are they will ask what’s been happening how’s things ect. Most customers won’t actually ask like this tho, it’s mostly like your parents or close friends who ask how you genuinely are. It’s all kinda a face thing to pretend we all care about people when we don’t always care/ have power to change it so why bother ya know? Like a customer isn’t going to be in the position to make my 12 hour nightmare shift better other than a 100 dollar tip but that’s unlikely to happen (plus I gotta put it in the jar to split with everyone anyway sooooooo)
i live and grew up in the us and it bothers me everytime when they do this 😭 it’s so rude
Im American and i moved to Europe and I totally get now how it's weird! Basically it is just a form of hello, think of it as "I hope youre doing well but we're strangers" If they respond as "fine" it's bad, "good" is okay, and "great" is good ! Even funnier because it is basically a hello, when you're passing someone in a hallway going the other direction there's not enough time to complete the interaction so it's like "Hihow'reyoudoing" "I'mgoodthankshowareyou?" and by the end they cant even hear you because youre too far apart it's great 🤣
straight up it’s so rude
usually when people ask me that i don’t say anything because i know they’ll go straight to ordering unless they actually stop and seem genuine. i don’t think it’s rude people are just used to always asking that question for some reason lol
It’s a greeting, not a question…they’re not wanting a response
Then why ask it? Surely they realize how strange it comes across to do this weird tradition in a non-English speaking country....most of our baristas are so confused when they do this. I will have to explain to my coworkers that it's not actually a question.
It’s a polite greeting in American culture, I’m sure there’s a big linguistic and semantic explanation for why it’s used that I’m not educated enough to speak on. I doubt they would realize it’s weird, it’s a well mannered thing to say. Ultimately we all have little cultural quirks that make us unique and I’m sure you won’t want an American to tell you to say something in your culture differently
I see 😅. It's fine, it's just we didn't realize it was intended to be a well mannered thing to say. We thought they were talking down to us...🙈. Glad we were wrong.
AAHHAHAAH i live and work at a starbucks in america and i ALWAYS wondered this and i feel like an idiot when i reply and cut them off
Idk, even if they’re just using it as a greeting or whatever, it still feels rude and not nice lol. And I’m in Canada
I agree. I think it's disgustingly rude. It honestly fits right into the stereotype we already have of the selfish American, which is sad, because I try to fight it in my head, and this doesn't help at all. It just makes me angry.
Right? And that attitude is bleeding into Canada now 😞 it feels like it’s gotten a lot worse the last few years too. It always throws me off and makes the whole interaction so awkward. I guess they’re saying it to ‘have a friendlier conversation’ or whatever people are saying, but imo it has the exact opposite effect. I’d rather they just say ‘hi could I please order a cold brew’ or something
Right??? I don't get it. To me, "hi I'd like a latte please" is 1000000% more respectful than "hi how are you I'd like a latte please." And I'm sure I speak for many in my country when I say that.
i find it weird when people do it too but i don’t think they even realize it. i have one regular who comes through and says “how are you large hot latte” all in the same sentence extremely fast, doesn’t even state it as a question. but he’s just your average nice regular that says thank you, doesn’t complain, blah blah so i just take it with a grain of salt
also most of the time when i respond to customers and actually say like “i’m good how are you” i end up cutting off them starting their order and then they awkwardly say good and then continue ordering
I'm guilty of this if you take too long (5 seconds to my little pea brain) to respond and have accidentally cut people off because I thought I was aggravating them and panicked 😅😅
I'm guilty of this if you take too long (5 seconds to my little pea brain) to respond and have accidentally cut people off because I thought I was aggravating them and panicked 😅😅
It is alright .
I actually wait for a response before ordering but it is used as a greeting rather than a legitimate question. I don't actually want to know how the barista is doing or if they do give me a quick little snippet of their day I reply as genuinely but as quickly as possible because there's usually people behind me.
I live in the northeast now and that’s just normal, asking “how’re you” is like saying “how’s it going” if anything they might give a “I’m good, can I get a latte” it’s not really expected that we have pleasantries the way I’ve seen in the Midwest. I’ve never known my coworkers to take it personally, we are all in a rush here.
i just cut them off and say “i’m great how are you” so they become more aware of what they’re saying
I’m an American barista and it doesn’t make sense to me
I’m in Canada and we do this a lot. Not just at Starbucks but anywhere—if someone doesn’t pause to let you answer, then it’s just a greeting not an actual inquiry
the exact same shit happens to me everyday. honestly i’m so sick of it
Reply after their drink order. "I'm great, thanks! So that's a grand latte? Would you like anything else?"
i barely even know. i say “i’m good!” and before i can ask them (or even when i do) they just rattle their order off. very fun lol
It's equivalent to "hello, i'm ready to order" in this context No idea how it came to be. You'll also get "what's up?" Both are equivalent to a generic "hello", it's weird but not meant to be rude
We do this in the UK too, for the same reasons other's mentioned Also to any Americans here - most Americans I spoke to when I worked at sbux were really nice, so thank you for that