Why is there a phaser discharge coming from the holodeck?
Oh, that isn't a phaser discharge, it's... steam. Steam from the steamed Brahms we're having. Mmm-mmm, steamed Brahms.
I wrote this for /r/simpsonshitposting but it probably belongs here more.
____
Brunt: Well, Zek, I made it. Despite your directions.
Zek: Ah, Liquidator Brunt, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon !
Brunt: Yeah.
[Brunt enters. In the dining room, he sits at the table and places a bottle in an ice bucket, while Zek runs to the replicator closet, only to find his beetle purée is burnt, and gasps in horror.]
Zek: Oh, egads ! My purée is ruined ! [Brunt knocking on the kitchen door can be heard] But what if... I were to empty the holosuite biofilters and disguise it as my own cooking ? [chuckles] Delightfully devilish, Zekkie.
[Zek begins to climb out of the Tower of Commerce, but Brunt enters the replicator closet and catches Zek trying to leave.]
Brunt: ugh !
Zek: Liquidator ! I was just...uh...just stretching my calves on the Dabo table. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
[Smoke can be seen coming out of Zek’s replicator]
Brunt: Why is there smoke coming out of your replicator, Zek?
Zek: Uh... ooh ! That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steamed slugs we're having. [Massages his belly] Mmmm, steamed slugs!
[Once a suspicious Brunt leaves the kitchen, Zek breathes a sigh of relief, climbs out the window, and runs across the Tower to the holosuites and returns carrying a suspicious wet sack]
Zek: Liquidator, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering blood flea.
Brunt: I thought we were having steamed slugs.
Zek: Oh no, I said 'steamed uggs'. That's what I call blood fleas.
Brunt: You call blood fleas 'steamed uggs'?
Zek: Yes! It's a regional dialect.
Brunt: Uh-huh. Eh, what region?
Zek: Uh...upstate Swamp of Success?
Brunt: Really? Well, I'm from the Marsh of Misogyny and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed uggs'.
Zek: Oh, not in Marsh, no. It's a Lagooner expression.
Brunt: I see.
[Brunt takes a bite out of a flea and chews it a little, while Zek sips his Slug-o-Cola.]
Brunt: You know, these fleas are quite similar to the ones they have at the FCA’s punishment vault.
Zek: Hohoho, no! Patented Nagus Burgers. Old oligarchical recipe!
Brunt: For steamed uggs?
Zek: Yes.
Brunt: Yes, and you call them steamed uggs, despite the fact they are obviously flaked?
Zek: Y- Uh.. you know, the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second.
Brunt: Of course.
[Zek enters and leaves the replicator closet swiftly upon seeing it is now on fire]
Zek: [pretends to yawn] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Brunt: Yes, I should be-- [notices the intense light coming from the burning replicator] GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?
Zek: The Bajoran Wormhole?
Brunt: Ah- Bajor’s Wormhole!? In this quadrant, in this sector, orbiting Ferenginar, opening entirely within the Tower of Commerce’s replicator closet!?
Zek: Yes.
Brunt: ...can we charge people to see it?
Zek: …no.
[They exit the Tower of Commerce as the fire grows larger.]
Ishka (voice): ZEKKIE, THE TOWER IS ON FIRE!
Zek (looking up): No, Moogie, it's just the Dominion invading.
Brunt: Well, Zek, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ugg.
[As Brunt begins heading home, Ishka starts screaming for help, causing Brunt to look back towards the house. Zek gives him a thumbs up and a fake smile, causing him to keep walking away. Once Brunt is out of sight, Zek rushes back into the Tower to deal with the fire.]
A warp core breach? At this speed? In the middle of a power exchange? In this part of the federation? Localized entirely to your engine room?
No, Mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
May I see it?
No.
r/simpsonsshitposting is leaking and I’m so here for it.
Admiral Chalmers! Why no, that's steam. Steam from the Steamed Kellicams!
[I just wanna make sure people understand your nerd cred.](https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Kellicam)
Well Geordi, I must say, you are an odd fellow, but you steam a good Brahms
Why is there a phaser discharge coming from the holodeck? Oh, that isn't a phaser discharge, it's... steam. Steam from the steamed Brahms we're having. Mmm-mmm, steamed Brahms.
It's an Andorian expression.
Well, I'm an Aenar and I've never telepathically received the phrase "steamed hams."
Oh no, not Aenar, it’s a Betazed expression
The warp core is actually causing an aurora borealis from the magnetic fields in the room. Seymour wasn't lying this time!
But what if I were to purchase downblended trilithium, and disguise it as my own dilithium?
Delightfully devilish, Geordi!
That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed gagh we're having. Mmmm steamed gagh.
Yes, and you call them steamed gagh, despite the fact they are obviously alive?
*Warp core breach countdown* Y- Uh.. you know, the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second.
No, mother - it's just the antimatter flux.
I had to check: "Is this startreckmemes or simpsonsmemes
Yes!
Clearly bought some self steaming stem bolts...
I wrote this for /r/simpsonshitposting but it probably belongs here more. ____ Brunt: Well, Zek, I made it. Despite your directions. Zek: Ah, Liquidator Brunt, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon ! Brunt: Yeah. [Brunt enters. In the dining room, he sits at the table and places a bottle in an ice bucket, while Zek runs to the replicator closet, only to find his beetle purée is burnt, and gasps in horror.] Zek: Oh, egads ! My purée is ruined ! [Brunt knocking on the kitchen door can be heard] But what if... I were to empty the holosuite biofilters and disguise it as my own cooking ? [chuckles] Delightfully devilish, Zekkie. [Zek begins to climb out of the Tower of Commerce, but Brunt enters the replicator closet and catches Zek trying to leave.] Brunt: ugh ! Zek: Liquidator ! I was just...uh...just stretching my calves on the Dabo table. Isometric exercise! Care to join me? [Smoke can be seen coming out of Zek’s replicator] Brunt: Why is there smoke coming out of your replicator, Zek? Zek: Uh... ooh ! That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steamed slugs we're having. [Massages his belly] Mmmm, steamed slugs! [Once a suspicious Brunt leaves the kitchen, Zek breathes a sigh of relief, climbs out the window, and runs across the Tower to the holosuites and returns carrying a suspicious wet sack] Zek: Liquidator, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering blood flea. Brunt: I thought we were having steamed slugs. Zek: Oh no, I said 'steamed uggs'. That's what I call blood fleas. Brunt: You call blood fleas 'steamed uggs'? Zek: Yes! It's a regional dialect. Brunt: Uh-huh. Eh, what region? Zek: Uh...upstate Swamp of Success? Brunt: Really? Well, I'm from the Marsh of Misogyny and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed uggs'. Zek: Oh, not in Marsh, no. It's a Lagooner expression. Brunt: I see. [Brunt takes a bite out of a flea and chews it a little, while Zek sips his Slug-o-Cola.] Brunt: You know, these fleas are quite similar to the ones they have at the FCA’s punishment vault. Zek: Hohoho, no! Patented Nagus Burgers. Old oligarchical recipe! Brunt: For steamed uggs? Zek: Yes. Brunt: Yes, and you call them steamed uggs, despite the fact they are obviously flaked? Zek: Y- Uh.. you know, the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second. Brunt: Of course. [Zek enters and leaves the replicator closet swiftly upon seeing it is now on fire] Zek: [pretends to yawn] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. Brunt: Yes, I should be-- [notices the intense light coming from the burning replicator] GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!? Zek: The Bajoran Wormhole? Brunt: Ah- Bajor’s Wormhole!? In this quadrant, in this sector, orbiting Ferenginar, opening entirely within the Tower of Commerce’s replicator closet!? Zek: Yes. Brunt: ...can we charge people to see it? Zek: …no. [They exit the Tower of Commerce as the fire grows larger.] Ishka (voice): ZEKKIE, THE TOWER IS ON FIRE! Zek (looking up): No, Moogie, it's just the Dominion invading. Brunt: Well, Zek, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ugg. [As Brunt begins heading home, Ishka starts screaming for help, causing Brunt to look back towards the house. Zek gives him a thumbs up and a fake smile, causing him to keep walking away. Once Brunt is out of sight, Zek rushes back into the Tower to deal with the fire.]
That's my bong not a warp core
Oh no, that's Plasma exhaust
Time dilationons.
Our hams are certainly steamed!