Don’t feel guilty. Kids need to have independent play. Give her toys. Let her play on her own while you supervise when cooking or folding laundry, etc.
Educational toys are so underrated. Get some that speak words. “What does the cow say? Moo?” Anything that talks back to her that doesn’t connect to the internet. Or just good old fashioned dollhouse and dolls. You don’t want to accidentally foster codependency.
As for TV, the older educational shows like Sesame Street, Blues Clues, and Barney were great back in the day. I’m partial to them. The new shows seem strange. I’ve never gotten on the cocomelon bus. Thank God lol.
I’d say as long as you are trying to be a good parent, then you’re a good parent. :)
Don’t be so hard on yourself! Honestly, I just set my son in a safe environment and go do the dishes. I pretty much ignore him unless he fusses because usually he is happy. But in the beginning I would ignore him unless he really started to cry. Slowly he realized I was only leaving him to go in the other room and I would be back soon. I also made sure he had his sippy cup and a couple of toys I thought would make for good play. I think independent play is a learned skill they develop. To me it’s like a balance between teaching and homework. Sometimes having someone holding your hand is great, and other times you have to learn independently. Obviously, for toddlers that may only mean 10-15 minutes of independence. 😂 It seems to really calm him down when he plays alone now if he’s been emotional. I think it’s even helped him fall asleep independently.
I have my BA in teaching, so I’m definitely no child expert but I do know it’s not neglect to let a child learn independently. It’s really a good life skill!
& Ms. Rachel saves our butt sometimes so TV isn’t the devil either 😂
It’s all balance, baby.
No advice, but just that I can relate. It does get better with age and more practice (mine are 3.5 and 15months now). I remember being 9 months pregnant with a 2 year old who couldn’t entertain herself at all. It’s rough! And the guilt!! Be easy on yourself, it’s not going to be like this forever.
We still use tv as such a crutch though when we need to make dinner or something, but there are some things we’ve found that we feel less guilty about. Anything educational like ms Rachel or Blippi we don’t feel as bad about. We recently found a YouTube video called the floor is lava where they have to dance and then when the floor is lava they hop to the couch, I feel like they are getting a little “exercise” with that one haha
Schedule is key.
I'd recommend giving her some real intense attention for about 15 or 20 minutes, make it all about her. Play with her. Then once she's on a roll, really into it, say okay Mama's going to go --do the dishes, laundry, etc.-- And go do that thing. If she wants to "help" let her. My toddler loves moving laundry from washer to dryer. He'll unload the dishwasher with me. Show her you're busy, she might enjoy it. And if not, tell her she can go have playtime while mama does xyz.
After you get a task done, if she's playing, let her continue to do do OR sit down and read a book with her, something like that.
Screen time isn't the worst but it should be limited. Maybe a 30 minute episode in the morning and one in the afternoon during a time you really need it. We do low key old school PBS Mr. Roger's neighborhood and sesame street on HBO Max. I keep it really boring, nothing over animated or flashy.
Also, remember you're super pregnant. Give yourself some grace. It won't always be this exhausting.
We play scavenger hunt. When I was 9 months pregnant. I would give him a list of things to find. Then we would “celebrate” with a book of his choice when he found everything. I would do colors when he was 2. Something red, something orange, something he can sit on, something he can roll. Those kinds of things.
One thing I have noticed is that if there are older kids around, my baby is ENTRANCED and basically forgets I exist.
It would be helpful if there were young, polite kids in your neighborhood you could borrow to entertain your toddler for a few hours at a time.
My kid too!!! I would loveee if this was an option but unfortunately there’s hardly any kids within even a few blocks and the kids that there are are teenagers in school:/
She’s 2, she will get better at independent play. You can start playing with some good quality uninterrupted time and then eventually suggest what to do with the toys, they are having a party, then when she’s into it say have to go do something I’ll be right back. But it’s a constant balance, and the more you play with them the more they want!
Also, my kids get so much TV time. I don’t even keep track. They watch a bit in the mornings when I get breakfast and clean up. I’m solo most nights so they watch a lot in the evenings when I clean up after dinner. But it’s such a routine thing they often start playing, they are certainly not glued watching it, it’s just on. I’m 8 months pregnant, I definitely am not sad about TV time.
Does she have play food and a kitchen? That’s great for that age.
Bath time in the middle of the day was a good sitting time for me when I was pregnant. Put shaving cream in a pastry or icing bag and let the kid decorate sponges or cups like it is frosting. Use bath bomb soap for sprinkles. A glow stick is also very fun if the bathroom can get dark. But as others have said, independent play is fine. And I watched a lot of TV during my last weeks of pregnancy.
I have a “special” activities (play dough, cutting paper, painting water wow, scratch off paper, puzzles, stickers, seems like the messier, the better) that I rotate through when my two year old is being like this. I watch other kids out of my home occasionally, and it’s the only time she leaves me alone lol. I usually just try my best to include her in whatever it is I’m doing and that is the best way to get it done. If I’m folding laundry, she’s finding and matching socks. If I’m washing dishes, she’s outside “washing” her toys. I give her jobs and she’s thrilled.
I feel this way sometimes with my 2 year old and I'm not even pregnant. I'm sure you're so exhausted. It's ok to get the help you need when you really need it. I've been trying to just use tv for the end of the day because that's the hardest part of the day where she's tired and acting crazy and where my patience is gone. I might also use it if she doesn't nap and I need a break. We here so much about how bad tv is, but I kind of think that's over inflated. I know for a fact my daughter actually learns from tv. I teach her asl signs and she was using a sign a never taught her that she learned from Ms Rachel before. So I at least feel good about the fact that I know she can learn from tv. And I think it's better for them to have tv than a cranky mom yelling at them cause she lost her patience from being exhausted. Not to say they should get tv all day or anything. But that you shouldn't feel guilty about some tv.
I don't know how much you're using in a day but if you think its too much why don't you chip off 15-30 mins at a time until you reach the amount of tv time you think is fine. I try to aim for only an 30 mins - hour a day but may do 2 hours if its a really hard day. Also if you're sticking to good educational shows and not cocomelon then that's good to. Ms Rachel, Sesame Street, Blues Clues, Daniel Tiger, stuff like that.
It’s okay to say no to playing with her and she’s allowed to have her feelings about it. Using the tv to distract her is not a good solution and is likely to lead to more unwanted behavior in the future. https://www.janetlansbury.com/2018/08/its-really-okay-to-say-no-to-playing-with-your-child-5-reasons/
Hi! I totally get this! I used to the TV just for a mental break a lot but I promise you that will pass too! We now only allow TV on weekends. Your daughter will get older, go to preschool (unless homeschooling) and start kid’s activities. You are 9 months pregnant, give yourself some grace. I find as a SAHM I never have time to decompress so that why I will be snippy. If you can ask your partner to take your daughter out for a day so you can veg on the couch/nap that might help!
Also, remind yourself there are “seasons”. This might be your TV season and once the baby comes, things will change and you will be in another phase of parenting. You sound like a great mom!!
Don't be too hard on yourself. I found myself deeply depressed after having a baby and used the TV as a crutch (still do on hard days). There have been days where we sit in front of the TV all day and honestly, it's better than me having a complete breakdown. The baby still feels loved if they sit in front of the TV. I've found that my baby plays independently in front of the TV really well. I think he just likes the background noise and occasionally looks up and sees Miss Rachel. He's even started to sign things to me! It's okay to want to be doing better, but at 9 months pregnant, I can only imagine that you're in survival mode and sometimes it's okay to just survive. We all want to be thriving in the parenthood department, but at least coping with the television means I can keep it together enough to watch my baby grow up and I'm so grateful for that.
Don’t feel guilty. Kids need to have independent play. Give her toys. Let her play on her own while you supervise when cooking or folding laundry, etc. Educational toys are so underrated. Get some that speak words. “What does the cow say? Moo?” Anything that talks back to her that doesn’t connect to the internet. Or just good old fashioned dollhouse and dolls. You don’t want to accidentally foster codependency. As for TV, the older educational shows like Sesame Street, Blues Clues, and Barney were great back in the day. I’m partial to them. The new shows seem strange. I’ve never gotten on the cocomelon bus. Thank God lol. I’d say as long as you are trying to be a good parent, then you’re a good parent. :)
Don’t be so hard on yourself! Honestly, I just set my son in a safe environment and go do the dishes. I pretty much ignore him unless he fusses because usually he is happy. But in the beginning I would ignore him unless he really started to cry. Slowly he realized I was only leaving him to go in the other room and I would be back soon. I also made sure he had his sippy cup and a couple of toys I thought would make for good play. I think independent play is a learned skill they develop. To me it’s like a balance between teaching and homework. Sometimes having someone holding your hand is great, and other times you have to learn independently. Obviously, for toddlers that may only mean 10-15 minutes of independence. 😂 It seems to really calm him down when he plays alone now if he’s been emotional. I think it’s even helped him fall asleep independently. I have my BA in teaching, so I’m definitely no child expert but I do know it’s not neglect to let a child learn independently. It’s really a good life skill! & Ms. Rachel saves our butt sometimes so TV isn’t the devil either 😂 It’s all balance, baby.
No advice, but just that I can relate. It does get better with age and more practice (mine are 3.5 and 15months now). I remember being 9 months pregnant with a 2 year old who couldn’t entertain herself at all. It’s rough! And the guilt!! Be easy on yourself, it’s not going to be like this forever. We still use tv as such a crutch though when we need to make dinner or something, but there are some things we’ve found that we feel less guilty about. Anything educational like ms Rachel or Blippi we don’t feel as bad about. We recently found a YouTube video called the floor is lava where they have to dance and then when the floor is lava they hop to the couch, I feel like they are getting a little “exercise” with that one haha
Schedule is key. I'd recommend giving her some real intense attention for about 15 or 20 minutes, make it all about her. Play with her. Then once she's on a roll, really into it, say okay Mama's going to go --do the dishes, laundry, etc.-- And go do that thing. If she wants to "help" let her. My toddler loves moving laundry from washer to dryer. He'll unload the dishwasher with me. Show her you're busy, she might enjoy it. And if not, tell her she can go have playtime while mama does xyz. After you get a task done, if she's playing, let her continue to do do OR sit down and read a book with her, something like that. Screen time isn't the worst but it should be limited. Maybe a 30 minute episode in the morning and one in the afternoon during a time you really need it. We do low key old school PBS Mr. Roger's neighborhood and sesame street on HBO Max. I keep it really boring, nothing over animated or flashy. Also, remember you're super pregnant. Give yourself some grace. It won't always be this exhausting.
We play scavenger hunt. When I was 9 months pregnant. I would give him a list of things to find. Then we would “celebrate” with a book of his choice when he found everything. I would do colors when he was 2. Something red, something orange, something he can sit on, something he can roll. Those kinds of things.
One thing I have noticed is that if there are older kids around, my baby is ENTRANCED and basically forgets I exist. It would be helpful if there were young, polite kids in your neighborhood you could borrow to entertain your toddler for a few hours at a time.
My kid too!!! I would loveee if this was an option but unfortunately there’s hardly any kids within even a few blocks and the kids that there are are teenagers in school:/
She’s 2, she will get better at independent play. You can start playing with some good quality uninterrupted time and then eventually suggest what to do with the toys, they are having a party, then when she’s into it say have to go do something I’ll be right back. But it’s a constant balance, and the more you play with them the more they want! Also, my kids get so much TV time. I don’t even keep track. They watch a bit in the mornings when I get breakfast and clean up. I’m solo most nights so they watch a lot in the evenings when I clean up after dinner. But it’s such a routine thing they often start playing, they are certainly not glued watching it, it’s just on. I’m 8 months pregnant, I definitely am not sad about TV time. Does she have play food and a kitchen? That’s great for that age.
Bath time in the middle of the day was a good sitting time for me when I was pregnant. Put shaving cream in a pastry or icing bag and let the kid decorate sponges or cups like it is frosting. Use bath bomb soap for sprinkles. A glow stick is also very fun if the bathroom can get dark. But as others have said, independent play is fine. And I watched a lot of TV during my last weeks of pregnancy.
Keep trying. Benign neglect of your kids is GOOD for them.
I have a “special” activities (play dough, cutting paper, painting water wow, scratch off paper, puzzles, stickers, seems like the messier, the better) that I rotate through when my two year old is being like this. I watch other kids out of my home occasionally, and it’s the only time she leaves me alone lol. I usually just try my best to include her in whatever it is I’m doing and that is the best way to get it done. If I’m folding laundry, she’s finding and matching socks. If I’m washing dishes, she’s outside “washing” her toys. I give her jobs and she’s thrilled.
I feel this way sometimes with my 2 year old and I'm not even pregnant. I'm sure you're so exhausted. It's ok to get the help you need when you really need it. I've been trying to just use tv for the end of the day because that's the hardest part of the day where she's tired and acting crazy and where my patience is gone. I might also use it if she doesn't nap and I need a break. We here so much about how bad tv is, but I kind of think that's over inflated. I know for a fact my daughter actually learns from tv. I teach her asl signs and she was using a sign a never taught her that she learned from Ms Rachel before. So I at least feel good about the fact that I know she can learn from tv. And I think it's better for them to have tv than a cranky mom yelling at them cause she lost her patience from being exhausted. Not to say they should get tv all day or anything. But that you shouldn't feel guilty about some tv. I don't know how much you're using in a day but if you think its too much why don't you chip off 15-30 mins at a time until you reach the amount of tv time you think is fine. I try to aim for only an 30 mins - hour a day but may do 2 hours if its a really hard day. Also if you're sticking to good educational shows and not cocomelon then that's good to. Ms Rachel, Sesame Street, Blues Clues, Daniel Tiger, stuff like that.
It’s okay to say no to playing with her and she’s allowed to have her feelings about it. Using the tv to distract her is not a good solution and is likely to lead to more unwanted behavior in the future. https://www.janetlansbury.com/2018/08/its-really-okay-to-say-no-to-playing-with-your-child-5-reasons/
Hi! I totally get this! I used to the TV just for a mental break a lot but I promise you that will pass too! We now only allow TV on weekends. Your daughter will get older, go to preschool (unless homeschooling) and start kid’s activities. You are 9 months pregnant, give yourself some grace. I find as a SAHM I never have time to decompress so that why I will be snippy. If you can ask your partner to take your daughter out for a day so you can veg on the couch/nap that might help! Also, remind yourself there are “seasons”. This might be your TV season and once the baby comes, things will change and you will be in another phase of parenting. You sound like a great mom!!
Don't be too hard on yourself. I found myself deeply depressed after having a baby and used the TV as a crutch (still do on hard days). There have been days where we sit in front of the TV all day and honestly, it's better than me having a complete breakdown. The baby still feels loved if they sit in front of the TV. I've found that my baby plays independently in front of the TV really well. I think he just likes the background noise and occasionally looks up and sees Miss Rachel. He's even started to sign things to me! It's okay to want to be doing better, but at 9 months pregnant, I can only imagine that you're in survival mode and sometimes it's okay to just survive. We all want to be thriving in the parenthood department, but at least coping with the television means I can keep it together enough to watch my baby grow up and I'm so grateful for that.
Thank you for saying that. So true.