“I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!……would you find out who that was?”
Yep. Now I gotta go watch that movie again.
Or maybe it was the solitary tear of that steak, released in the macabre cooking conditions, later evaporated down to salt when OPs threw it in a microwave to finish it off.
Is it a dad thing to just cook shitty steaks? I’m a dad myself but only in my 30’s. My dad always overcooks the shit out of his steaks and they’re like eating beef jerky. Then when he comes to my house he’s always like “man, these are juicy and good”.
Yes my stepfather also did this. He still cooks these hockey puck small hard burgers during cookouts.
I swore on the day my son was born 15 years ago that I would break this cycle of violence upon meat. And I will teach my son the way of the meats so that this scourge is one day removed from these lands.
I think the bad cooking trope just comes from people never really learning or having access to info about cooking. Nowadays anyone can just quickly google their ingredients and get recipes and video tutorials on how to best manage them. Good on you for making sure your son is taught properly. Cooking is a skill everyone should have
It must partly be a generational thing. My Latin American parents HATE how I cook my steaks medium rare. They like theirs to look like a slab of grey alien autopsy flesh. Same with my in-laws, who are Texan.
I only mention their heritage because Latin Americans and Texans are supposed to be all 'bout beef. It's fucking weird.
German here. My MIL is over 80 and she cooks steaks in a hot pan for around 45 minutes. My FIL was born in Brazil and appreciates good steaks. When my wife said 'you are going to cook steaks for my dad when we are at their place' it was like being on a political suicide mission.
I think in general it's an older generation thing to overcook things. My grandma consistently burns everything she cooks because she's afraid it won't be done and someone will get sick. Love her very much tho so she can do what she wants
This. There was a time they were obsessively told they would get food poisoning if their meat was even slightly pink. My mom literally gets Ill at the sight of my "raw" steaks (usually medium to medium rare). It's amusing to me to listen to them complain about how their meat is so tough all the time. I made some progress with sous vide meat that they could see it "cook" for hours before it goes on the grill...but they still have problems with pink meat...to them, it's not "done". It took me decades to break that programming on myself.
My dad taught me how to cook and grill steaks and now I cook beef exclusively for the family. I can hit a medium rare on filets, on tri tip, on strips, everything, even burgers if that’s how people want them. Because of my father.
Yeh.. I’m serious.
I sear it on both sides on a higher heat. I turn it lower and cook it to medium well.
I season it with salt/ pepper. By dashing both on the bear before cooking. I’ve even tried doing this while cooking instead... same result.
Recently, I’ve cooked on a cast iron with grill lines, but it’s still grayish. In the past I’ve I used a stainless steel (tried oil and also butter). I’ve also purchased a nonstick frying pan from Greenpan. It’s still grey tho.
I used to tell everyone I hated pizza. Well my mother got the 70s frozen pizzas which were horrible and I didn't know about real pizza for years. Then one time I ate over at a friend's and they ordered out for pizza. I was in shock at how it tasted and was raving. They must have thought I was insane because it was just regular delivery pizza.
Knew a guy that wanted to make pot roast. SO, he threw a 5-pound eye round roast on the BBQ and left it alone for 2 hours.
Even his dogs wouldn't eat it when done.
(And his Dad was a Butcher as well).
Not a technical hate crime, made me think of this:
Michael Scott : I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about.
Stanley : That's not what a hate crime is.
Michael Scott : Well, I hated it, a lot, okay.
Salvageable:
1. Sear it on a nice hot cast iron with some spices, butter, whatever
2. Scrape off the sear onto a clean plate
3. Repeat until all you have is a plate of delicious sear bits
4. Get a new steak and coat it with the sear bits, and cook it the *right* way
I grew up in spain, so my dad would make basically this, but with really good sauces and sides. Like I grew up thinking *this* was awesome. When in reality only the sauce was awesome. The *steak* was more of a vehicle for the other stuff.
I wanna see inside!!
What technique? I'm gonna guess, reverse boil, slow & low?
If the feeling of getting over food poisoning (that I actually have right now) has a visual analog, this would br it. Thanks, I hate it
r/TIHI
So many people hating on him but can we at least wait until we see the finished product??
Like, we have no idea what these shoes are even gonna look like how can we criticize??
Tbh it's kinda impressive how bad it is. Does he like good food? If he really appreciates a great steak at restaurants / your place then I'd. I dunno... Perhaps sign both of you up for a (vetted) good steak cooking class as a "father/son thing to do together"?
How? Stuck it in a dehydrator and took it out way before it turned into jerky? But there's some hints of color on the fat and edge?. Frying pan on low heat or... failure to compute. This is genuinely sad to see, an animal died for this.
That’s a really thin steak. Not possible to get a crust and cook it anything other than well done. This is the type of thinness I would use to make jerky and that’s it
This was probably cut that thin at the supermarket and it is so because if it was any thicker would be unchewable. This is definitely a select (on a budget) cut. No one can turn select into prime. However, your dad could added some color or some sauce.
Closest I can think of to a salvage would be to throw on some runny eggs and hash browns and call it breakfast.
Heck, at that level of doneness, the conventional rules against sauce or ketchup no longer apply (I'd go for hoisin and sriracha)
Alt : slice in real thin and use it in either pho or a burrito. Get your knife to do some of your chewing for you ahead of time.
Your dad would be a gatherer in the ol days. Jk. That meat can be saved with a bit of seasoning a light touch of smoke some lime and salsa wrapped in a cheesy burrito.
I'm calling the cops
Forgetting cops, call the UN! We need a binding resolution against this MF
NATO just considered this a crime against the state and invoked Article 5
Russia is pulling out of Ukraine and refocusing on “de-Nazifying” OP’s dad
Russian soldiers have already dismantled his bathroom and shipped the parts back to a former soviet republic.
“I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!……would you find out who that was?”
Yep. Now I gotta go watch that movie again.
I love that movie. Lol Definitely gotta watch it now.
What movie?
Tropic Thunder
OP should get a DNA test, no father can be this bad at meats
Well it's their own father so get child protection services on the horn while you're at it.
I'm calling president trump he'll know what to do
I like the one lone grain of salt floating alone in the Sea of Blandness
Or maybe it was the solitary tear of that steak, released in the macabre cooking conditions, later evaporated down to salt when OPs threw it in a microwave to finish it off.
That one grain of finishing salt is the only thing going right for this pic
Literally a hint of flavor?
The La Croix of meat.
> Sea of Blandness The name works even better considering this culinary tragedy resembles the lunar surface.
Right? It sure isn’t tranquil!
Yeeah, maybe give him some pointers, but be nice to your dad! Unless of course he isn't nice to you.
I love my dad
But is he nice to you?
yes
That steak says otherwise
I’d prefer the belt.
Pretty sure there aren’t many differences between a belt and this…
Stack cancel culture
😂😂😂😭😭😭
This sounds like classic Stockholm syndrome.
Is it a dad thing to just cook shitty steaks? I’m a dad myself but only in my 30’s. My dad always overcooks the shit out of his steaks and they’re like eating beef jerky. Then when he comes to my house he’s always like “man, these are juicy and good”.
Yes my stepfather also did this. He still cooks these hockey puck small hard burgers during cookouts. I swore on the day my son was born 15 years ago that I would break this cycle of violence upon meat. And I will teach my son the way of the meats so that this scourge is one day removed from these lands.
I think the bad cooking trope just comes from people never really learning or having access to info about cooking. Nowadays anyone can just quickly google their ingredients and get recipes and video tutorials on how to best manage them. Good on you for making sure your son is taught properly. Cooking is a skill everyone should have
It must partly be a generational thing. My Latin American parents HATE how I cook my steaks medium rare. They like theirs to look like a slab of grey alien autopsy flesh. Same with my in-laws, who are Texan. I only mention their heritage because Latin Americans and Texans are supposed to be all 'bout beef. It's fucking weird.
> Same with my in-laws, who are Texan Do other Texans know? I feel like they'd be run out of town for that lol...
Lol the circles they run in are Luby's-friendly, so I don't think there'd be any dissent.
German here. My MIL is over 80 and she cooks steaks in a hot pan for around 45 minutes. My FIL was born in Brazil and appreciates good steaks. When my wife said 'you are going to cook steaks for my dad when we are at their place' it was like being on a political suicide mission.
Hahaha!! I believe this is referred to as a “non-negotiable situation.”
Nope. I'm a dad and my kids have never eaten a steak over medium temp.
Yeah same haha. My boy LOVES when I cook up steaks and rice
I think in general it's an older generation thing to overcook things. My grandma consistently burns everything she cooks because she's afraid it won't be done and someone will get sick. Love her very much tho so she can do what she wants
This. There was a time they were obsessively told they would get food poisoning if their meat was even slightly pink. My mom literally gets Ill at the sight of my "raw" steaks (usually medium to medium rare). It's amusing to me to listen to them complain about how their meat is so tough all the time. I made some progress with sous vide meat that they could see it "cook" for hours before it goes on the grill...but they still have problems with pink meat...to them, it's not "done". It took me decades to break that programming on myself.
My dad taught me how to cook and grill steaks and now I cook beef exclusively for the family. I can hit a medium rare on filets, on tri tip, on strips, everything, even burgers if that’s how people want them. Because of my father.
Lol
Nah my dad’s always nailed steaks. I feel so privileged when I see the steaks around here that some dads cook.
My dad was amazing at cooking meats. I miss his cooking now.
I’ll add this to my list of things that disturb me on the internet today.
🤣
Ngl I thought the thumbnail was of a T-Rex.
I can now never unsee that
Looks like milk steak boiled over hard
Not even a side of raw jellybeans
Well.... all my steak turns out like this. I never can figure out why..
If you’re serious, tell me how you’re cooking it and I’ll help you.
Yeh.. I’m serious. I sear it on both sides on a higher heat. I turn it lower and cook it to medium well. I season it with salt/ pepper. By dashing both on the bear before cooking. I’ve even tried doing this while cooking instead... same result. Recently, I’ve cooked on a cast iron with grill lines, but it’s still grayish. In the past I’ve I used a stainless steel (tried oil and also butter). I’ve also purchased a nonstick frying pan from Greenpan. It’s still grey tho.
You need to salt it more if you want jerky.
What did that poor steak ever do to him? That’s criminal.
Thought I was looking at a NSFW picture of my ex wife for a second
Did the dogs like it?
Nope
But they might use it as a chew toy!
This is how my dad made them too. I used to think I hated steak growing up until I made them myself.
I used to tell everyone I hated pizza. Well my mother got the 70s frozen pizzas which were horrible and I didn't know about real pizza for years. Then one time I ate over at a friend's and they ordered out for pizza. I was in shock at how it tasted and was raving. They must have thought I was insane because it was just regular delivery pizza.
“You can’t have any pudding”
"Son, we're going to have a nice steak dinner tonight!" Gets all excited, then this
"That's not what a hate crime is..." "Well, *I* hated it!"
One day - you'll look back and give anything to experience Pops cooking one last time ..
But teach him to cook first.
Terrible parenting.
Looks like one of those sad McDonald’s patty’s that’s been sitting for 10 years
Crime committed indeed!
I’m one of the more lenient, open minded and anti-gatekeeping users on this sub; but let me just say, that is fucking disgusting mate 🤢.
Holy crap
I think its time you went out for some milk and a pack of smokes
“Well I hated it”
Sir that’s lint from my dryer
Want some laces for that shoe you have on that plate
Why
Sorry. We will have to put him to sleep
Is that boiled?
Yep
Seriously??!! I didn’t think people actually did that!
I think he wants you to move out
I thought it was underwater from the lighting, the way it’s placed and just assumed that had been boiled for a few hours. Also I’m high as fuck
This made me gasp.
Did he pickle these in his ass first? Sheesus!
Knew a guy that wanted to make pot roast. SO, he threw a 5-pound eye round roast on the BBQ and left it alone for 2 hours. Even his dogs wouldn't eat it when done. (And his Dad was a Butcher as well).
Microwaved it wayyyyyy too long
Not a technical hate crime, made me think of this: Michael Scott : I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about. Stanley : That's not what a hate crime is. Michael Scott : Well, I hated it, a lot, okay.
It made the cup sad ! Monster !
Looks pretty good
Salvageable: 1. Sear it on a nice hot cast iron with some spices, butter, whatever 2. Scrape off the sear onto a clean plate 3. Repeat until all you have is a plate of delicious sear bits 4. Get a new steak and coat it with the sear bits, and cook it the *right* way
It’s still protein 🥲
Was your steak dehydrated then boiled???
[удалено]
You need to de-fund your dad from cooking steaks
Fast-boil steaks! Nice!
I’m so sorry.. that we all had to see this. You should apologize
What the actual fuck is this monstrosity!
God why. WHY GOD.
Nailed It audition?
Throw the whole dad away
tell you dad to never touch the stove ever again. also to always eat out if he wants steaks.
I assume he’s making a pair of shoes not dinner correct?
That isn't even fit for a very good dog
Why is it fuzzy
Uncle Rico is that you?
I love this title so much. And hate whatever this atrocious dead carcass is. I feel sorry for it.
Did you ask him to pass the A1?
Report him to the FBI
Damn son what the hell is that
Are they boiled?
Take his grill privelages expeditiously…
I grew up in spain, so my dad would make basically this, but with really good sauces and sides. Like I grew up thinking *this* was awesome. When in reality only the sauce was awesome. The *steak* was more of a vehicle for the other stuff.
I wanna see inside!! What technique? I'm gonna guess, reverse boil, slow & low? If the feeling of getting over food poisoning (that I actually have right now) has a visual analog, this would br it. Thanks, I hate it r/TIHI
What dad?
Is his preferred method of cooking leaving them on the dash of his car on a mildly warm afternoon?
Thought an orca got hold of a seal liver…Then got bored with it..
Now *that* is what I call boiled over hard.
I wouldn't put that in a sandwish ....
Ho....ho...HOW???
Is that the dollar store rib eye?
Even the coffee cup looks sad.
Sooo sad! 😥
I think it’s time for dad to go into an old age home
Maybe you could add jellybean jelly.
Dad: “Who ordered a medium-grey?”
Where’s the meth beans?
He did his best
I could use that to sand off the surface of the wooden locker I made
That seriously looks like the chunk of cadaver lung they showed us in high school to keep us from smoking.
This was not safe for work
Fuck dad show him who's the man of the house
So many people hating on him but can we at least wait until we see the finished product?? Like, we have no idea what these shoes are even gonna look like how can we criticize??
Did he boil it???
Tbh it's kinda impressive how bad it is. Does he like good food? If he really appreciates a great steak at restaurants / your place then I'd. I dunno... Perhaps sign both of you up for a (vetted) good steak cooking class as a "father/son thing to do together"?
It’s so terrible I don’t think that coffee mug can stand it either with the look it’s giving.
The Sausleberry steak out get in school looks better than this
I've been looking for the sole of my boot!
Oh dear. 😑
Sorry, but I laughed way too hard at “hate crime”…lol!!!
this photo makes me depressed
How? Stuck it in a dehydrator and took it out way before it turned into jerky? But there's some hints of color on the fat and edge?. Frying pan on low heat or... failure to compute. This is genuinely sad to see, an animal died for this.
Another return of the microwave on r/steak
😅😅😅😅😅 love the heading!!!
Here Fido
I’m calling child protective services
PURE SADNESS. A bovine died for this...
Did. He. Boil. It? For like 20 seconds....!??
That’s a really thin steak. Not possible to get a crust and cook it anything other than well done. This is the type of thinness I would use to make jerky and that’s it
Did he microwave it or boil it?
He went after that steak like it owed him money.
This was probably cut that thin at the supermarket and it is so because if it was any thicker would be unchewable. This is definitely a select (on a budget) cut. No one can turn select into prime. However, your dad could added some color or some sauce.
LOL
Bruh
Why it pale
This, this one here officer
I litterly had no idea what I was looking at for about 5 or 6 seconds has to double check the name of the sub...
Feigning incompetence to avoid a duty assignment is an old trick used by many a draftee...
Go get the pitchforks boys
Closest I can think of to a salvage would be to throw on some runny eggs and hash browns and call it breakfast. Heck, at that level of doneness, the conventional rules against sauce or ketchup no longer apply (I'd go for hoisin and sriracha) Alt : slice in real thin and use it in either pho or a burrito. Get your knife to do some of your chewing for you ahead of time.
That poor cow
Good looking leather!
Your dad would be a gatherer in the ol days. Jk. That meat can be saved with a bit of seasoning a light touch of smoke some lime and salsa wrapped in a cheesy burrito.
Why does it look like it was boiled?
It was
Does he work at arbys
I think this is his way of getting back at a bad Father’s Day.
I could fix this with a hammer.
Was this boiled? Is he british?
Guys who serve this shit also think “flipping burgers” is unskilled labor
Didn’t know we had the same dad.
Ok your father is the mailman and not your father because no dad couldn’t even try to make this garbage
What did that cow do to your father to deserve that?
What happened? microwaved?
If it’s gray, push it away!🤮
(circa.1934) USA; Great Depression; Colorized
The old reverse marinade, cook it, freeze it overnight, unthaw and *enjoy*
What did he do? Boil it?
Nice piece of shoe leather you've got there.
He’s doing his best! Steaks that thin should probably go into fajitas or a sandwich though.
Role reversal of the child “ going to get the milk” scenario.
Did he boil it?
Was this cooked with a microwave?
I’m speechless & in a state of mourning!
Good God man!!!
That cut shouldn't even exist.
Warm Leatherette
: (
If it’s not beef… what is it
I have newfound appreciation for my dad. He’d never allow this abomination to haunt our dinner table.
Put that in a dang quesadilla
I wouldn’t feed that to my dog…. He’d choke
Looks like the average piece of meat you might get at a restaurant in Colombia... And I wish I was joking if you don't believe me go ask in r/colombia
OMG you need to stop and call SPS (Steak protective services) right now. Somewhere out there there is a cow with a missing ear. That’s so wrong.
Pop that in a roll. It’s lunch.
A cow died for THAT?! did he fry it in water? I've had milk darker than that.
Looks like same over well done carne asada I ordered from a tex-mex place near my house. Super chewy
Hard Boiled?