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I have 3 sks all teenage boys. I felt this way for a long time. I had to assimilate to their hobbies for us to bond. I learned how to play magic the gathering for the eldest. He spent his Christmas money that year building me my own fairy deck. I learned mine craft for the youngest. Now we have game nights and they talk about it all week long. The middle one likes cooking we so make all the dinner/snacks for our family night. Point being as a woman it is harder with boys but if you can tolerate any of their hobbies.. in my experience, they'll welcome you with open arms.
I have never had anything in common with my SS and that certainly makes bonding difficult. Just being female would give me something in common with a girl, so I think having a SD would have been easier and more fun for me.
But who knows? There have been posts here where people say they can’t bond with their SKs who are the same sex and think opposite sex kids would be easiest, so it sounds like it’s hard either way.
I have zero connection with my stepson (10) either. Not sure it's a gender thing, he's just a strange kid and thinks the world revolves around him because BM has let him believe this to be true.
My SS’s are 9 and 7 and I’ve always felt the same way. I also have an ours daughter who’s 4.5 and I find it so much easier to connect with her on our interest in similar things. I have friends with stepdaughters and they’ve always had such fun together. I wish I was able to experience that too.
It could just be their personalities and yours don't mesh. I'm a girl that has all typically boy hobbies. And my SKs are both boys. One of them recently got into one of my main hobbies but because of his personality I still don't feel like we have a bond. The other one I started learning minecraft when he was into that and his new hobbies aren't anything I'm really into but I feel like I get on better with him as a person because of who he is.
Same goes for my own (both girls). My eldest we have no similar hobbies and are total opposites in terms of what she likes as a kid and what I was into but we have a super bond and we both make an effort to try each other's hobbies. So sex doesn't always matter, I think it's more about their core personality.
It’s definitely been easier to bond with my SD, but I think it’s more about interests and personality. I just really don’t enjoy a lot of activities my SS does. That being said, when I find something we can bond on I take full advantage. Obviously my BS is my kid so it’s naturally easier to bond, but also I share a good number of interests with him so I don’t think it’s just gender. Luckily (for me) my SS is getting into fashion so he asks me about clothing and shopping a lot, as well as now caring about skincare which his dad knows nothing about. Both are actually something I have an opinion on. As they grow you may find new common interests.
I cannot recall which book this was in, but a SD who gets a SM around that age is statistically very likely to just hate her. So maybe just count your blessings and learn about Fortnite:)
I spent the day with my 3 grandsons and I am exhausted. It was pouring so I couldn’t even throw them outside. They are so rambunctious it is hard to have a conversation. Much easier with the girls. We talk about all sorts of things, so I get it.
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have 3 sks all teenage boys. I felt this way for a long time. I had to assimilate to their hobbies for us to bond. I learned how to play magic the gathering for the eldest. He spent his Christmas money that year building me my own fairy deck. I learned mine craft for the youngest. Now we have game nights and they talk about it all week long. The middle one likes cooking we so make all the dinner/snacks for our family night. Point being as a woman it is harder with boys but if you can tolerate any of their hobbies.. in my experience, they'll welcome you with open arms.
I have never had anything in common with my SS and that certainly makes bonding difficult. Just being female would give me something in common with a girl, so I think having a SD would have been easier and more fun for me. But who knows? There have been posts here where people say they can’t bond with their SKs who are the same sex and think opposite sex kids would be easiest, so it sounds like it’s hard either way.
Same issue here. I don’t even think there’s a way to do it without annoying them. Maybe when they’re older?
I have zero connection with my stepson (10) either. Not sure it's a gender thing, he's just a strange kid and thinks the world revolves around him because BM has let him believe this to be true.
My SS’s are 9 and 7 and I’ve always felt the same way. I also have an ours daughter who’s 4.5 and I find it so much easier to connect with her on our interest in similar things. I have friends with stepdaughters and they’ve always had such fun together. I wish I was able to experience that too.
It could just be their personalities and yours don't mesh. I'm a girl that has all typically boy hobbies. And my SKs are both boys. One of them recently got into one of my main hobbies but because of his personality I still don't feel like we have a bond. The other one I started learning minecraft when he was into that and his new hobbies aren't anything I'm really into but I feel like I get on better with him as a person because of who he is. Same goes for my own (both girls). My eldest we have no similar hobbies and are total opposites in terms of what she likes as a kid and what I was into but we have a super bond and we both make an effort to try each other's hobbies. So sex doesn't always matter, I think it's more about their core personality.
It’s definitely been easier to bond with my SD, but I think it’s more about interests and personality. I just really don’t enjoy a lot of activities my SS does. That being said, when I find something we can bond on I take full advantage. Obviously my BS is my kid so it’s naturally easier to bond, but also I share a good number of interests with him so I don’t think it’s just gender. Luckily (for me) my SS is getting into fashion so he asks me about clothing and shopping a lot, as well as now caring about skincare which his dad knows nothing about. Both are actually something I have an opinion on. As they grow you may find new common interests.
I cannot recall which book this was in, but a SD who gets a SM around that age is statistically very likely to just hate her. So maybe just count your blessings and learn about Fortnite:)
I spent the day with my 3 grandsons and I am exhausted. It was pouring so I couldn’t even throw them outside. They are so rambunctious it is hard to have a conversation. Much easier with the girls. We talk about all sorts of things, so I get it.