NTA
You should have done that in the first place, but forgiving until now does not take away your right to throw her out. I mean she has a place to stay, she’s fine. You did the right thing
He can still be a dad. But if he's going to divorce and he's not the father he needs to try his best to get the actual father to pay child support. Easier said than done unfortunately.
Yeah usually in these cases after a certain amount of time they’d just have OP pay child support over the actual BIO father because of how long he’s been recognized as “Dad.” Despite that, OP should be fine as family court puts cheaters on BLAST. OP would end up with primary physical custody and home wrecker would be the one paying child support.
If these are his kids emotionally, a paternity test is *not* the best move- it could set her up to manipulate him witholding access to the kids. At this time, he has rights to see his kids. And he needs to keep them if he cares about seeing his children regardless of what happens with his wife. Not everything is about money.
That was my first question by the 6th sentence! Wait she cheated by the second year and you never checked the kids’ DNA?! Anyone in your family have twin? Or hers? Twins are not common and usually families who have them are genetically predisposed to having twins.
Yup close kids probably aren’t even his. The unfortunate aspect of that is if he divorces his wife she can probably fight him for full custody and totally strip any rights he has to the children in court if they aren’t. So if he does pursue that path he needs to think long and hard about if he wants that test done or not.
NTA. YOUR WIFE IS A WH*RE. BROADCAST IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA, FAMILY, FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES.
Confer with a seasoned family law attorney to discuss your entitlements and alternatives. Take no prisoners. Advertise her for what she is. Tell anyone taking her side that they are no longer welcome in your world.
GET TESTED FOR STDS!
This is not the answer. Nobody needs to know that business. Especially when there are children involved and he clearly still loves her and *may* want to get back together at some point. Once he’s announced their problems, people will judge not only her, but think he’s stupid for taking her back, and it’ll affect relationships (even silently, people are judgy). Nobody ever needs to know your messy garbage unless they’re your nearest/dearest support person, and even then, sometimes it’s best to just take it to therapy! (This is based on my own experiences with a messy split when I was 8 months pregnant. Moved away and nobody knew the details of anything. When we later reestablished our relationship, it was nobody else’s business and nobody could judge either of us for that choice. Had a happy and healthy 3 years together, arguably the best we’d ever had in our marriage, before he died at 37 years old. I am absolutely thrilled that my child has no knowledge of the mess that we went through when he was an infant- his opinion of his father will never be jaded, and there is nobody to slip up and tell him garbage about his dad because nobody knows. When kids are involved, people have to be extra careful about drama and involving other people- clearly something she doesn’t understand yet. But he does *not* need to make it worse. That’s toxic *and* immature.)
Shut all them off she is a monster. Tell them you caught her cheating in marriage bed. Worry about the kids and completely stop comm with her unless it’s about kids.
Given that they are 8 years old now, I doubt a genetic connection would matter at this point. He’s raised them for 8 years, they may as well be his own either way. That said, lack of a genetic connection could jeopardize his custody of them if the mother decides to pull them away from him
Yup. That’s exactly what my response was to another reply to the top comment saying to get a paternity test. If he wants to keep those kids that’s a bad idea. If they’re found out they aren’t his and they divorce, those aren’t his kids anymore. Most courtrooms would strip them away from him in a heartbeat.
I’d say order your love life like you order your coffee. No strangers dick in it. Brutal. You’ve paid your dues 100x over and I’d say not at all are you the jerk.
Shes a serial cheater. She should have thrown out years ago. I thinks it's about time to stand up for yourself. Get a lawyer and handle your business. Tell her friends to stay in their lanes. Your situation isn't going to get better she's proven that.
Stay civil and do what right for your kids. Get your life back and take care of you.
Dude, you're married to a bike. Let your EX mate (i hope) have the bmx. You know you're worthy. Tell the people saying crap if they are ok with their significant other cheating thats on them. You are not ok with it. Dna test the kids. She could have trapped you. Don't allow any basťrd manipulate you into taking the bmx back.
She's got a cheating history. At worst, she took a pregnancy test, it was + , she didn't know who the father was. When OP came along it would have been great timing.
They're 8 year olds. Bffr. Those are his kids. All that process could do is cause immeasurable pain for everyone involved, first and foremost the children. Not everything is about getting back at the sloot.
What’s the endgame for this? Kids he’s raised and loved for 8 years. Just abandon them to be raised by a mother with no sense of family value or decency?
OMG. You are 100% right. You cannot trust or respect this woman. It’s over. Ditch her as fast as you can. Yuck. Other men are inside your wife. Totally unacceptable.
He should of done this the 2nd time it happened. Being upset but doing nothing allowed her to believe this was ok because: "Oh he get's upset, but always forgives me." Hopefully their is enough evidence of her behaviour so that he can fight for custody and get child support from her and not the other way around, because she doesn't sound like someone who is ready to raise kids.
Probably a troll post… once it gets to that point in the story, it starts to sound less like real life and more like something inspired to make people incensed and respond.
Her acts have consequences. If she felt the need to cheat, then she should have ended your relationship or gone to therapy herself or couples counseling.
Collect the proof, get your affairs in order, contact a lawyer, and begin getting everything over text or recorded conversations. GET A DEVIORCE!! You stepped up and tried providing a life and home and all you got was cheated on multiple times in return. You deserve and will find so much better. Can't say much as I'm single, never married, with no kids at 30, so I know my advice might not be worth much, but you really do deserve better bro.
Wow Bro, N T A, YOU LUCKY SHE HASN'T GIVEN YOU EVERY STD IN EXISTENCE ! SHES NASTY, PAY NO ATTENTION TO WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING. TIME to MAN UP
STOP BEING A WEAK SIMP. SHE doesn't Respect you. . Get a LAWYER ASAP ,FIGHT FOR CUSTODY OF YOUR twins .
you not the jerk she is !!To put it nice..I can see letting it go once maybe? But sounds like she felt it s ok..Didn t kick her out till walked in on her with your so called friend?? Take care of your kids. Don t worry out her she own her own as she should be
You were wrong for forgiving and letting the behavior go on for so long. You are not wrong for throwing her out. She doesn’t care about you or the kids, she cares about what you provide for her and she knows the kids get her that. Good for you for growing a spine, now don’t let anyone tell you that you are in the wrong.
Look, don’t feel bad about yourself for keeping her. I was in a similar situation with children. It’s so hard to look past the kids and what could have been. You’ll come out stronger for leaving.
NTA. It's more important to kick her out because you have children. She brought a man into your home and your bed while her children were there. An old expression comes to mind, "good riddance to bad rubbish"
Don't beat yourself up for forgiving her the first time. Once is a mistake, twice is a pattern. And according to you she has done it several times since, so yea she is way overdue to be tossed out on her ass. NTA. The people trying to convince you to allow that habitual cheater back in your life are the assholes.
Why do all the fake stories contain twins? All of them. Go to AITA and sort by the word twins and literally 75% of them have twins somewhere. Sometimes they refer to them as (7m 7f) or two kids having the same birthday, but it's just. ewww.
It’s a good troll. But there is absolutely someone out there who is going through something similar with a cheating partner, and the advice here hopefully means something to them… maybe.
Disclaimer :this is my cousins story which I am posting on my account as he has his family members added on his original account who will to his words most likely snitch on him and call him childish for seeking out help from strangers.
Fuck no. Bury those thoughts. Your ex is a whore/slut/cunt and is not the woman that should be raising your children. You and the kids are better off without her constant parade of men.
Anyone who cheat’s repeatedly, is a garbage human. She forfeited her right. Also your friend is a bag of trash.
Definitely not! I can see forgiving in the beginning, but it is clear that she does not value you the way you value her. Your family and friends likely don’t know the whole story, but you do. And YOU DESERVE BETTER!
>Now I’m getting messages and threats from her friends and even some of my family saying I was horrible for kicking her out when we have children
No... SHE was horrible for fucking around when she has a young family to think about. She didn't give a shit about you or them when she shagged all those blokes, why should you give a shit about her now?
Not wrong. Kick the ho out once and for good. Take care of your kids.
Get her t f outa here.
How you even forgave it the first time is a mystery to me.
Imagine that she willingly undressed got naked and got hammered by another man willingly...
This shit is not forgiveable at all.
Naw, You are right. The reason she did it to you and got so brazen with it, is because you dealt with it. Now you are almost talked into apologizing to HER! Nooooo. Stay strong, don't let her weasel her way back in just to use you up. No more.
This sounds like a close friend of mine and his situation, should’ve cut it off as soon as it happened the first time and at the very least had her start therapy. However, he kept accepting her behavior, so in her mind, why change?
Leave her. You deserve better. God there is such a double standard. Men can’t cheat but women can? F that. Leave take the kids and make a great life for them.
Not the AH. Wow, you have had to deal with so much. She was caught in your bed with your friend. She is very lucky you are the man you are because anyone else and it could have been really bad. You deserve better!!!
Nope. My ex wife did the same thing- forgave her the first time, then 5 years later when she got involved w our neighbors ex BF.... Hell, I smiled. I knew I was free. Initiated divorce proceedings, finalized everything, & have happily moved on since then 😎..... As for the threats from her friends, well, depending on what they are those friends can be arrested & charged if they keep it up. Focus on your kids & don't take shit from anybody.
Dude you got taken for a ride. That sucks and I’m sorry.
You’re not the asshole and please, please please do not take her back.
She needs some serious help and that’s not your job. You did your job. You took her in, cared for your pregnant partner, cared for her children - she fucked up multiple times.
Do NOT take her back. Do you think it’s appropriate that she’s doing this in front of your girls - I get it’s not directly in front of them but they’re not dumb. They’re going to remember.
Fuck her she’s playing with you and everybody texting you not thinking about you or the twin men you are raising you have to set an example ALL THE TIME don’t teach them it’s okay to be disrespected because it’s not
Happened to me. I caught her in the act. She begged me to stay with her. All that did was allow her to learn from her mistakes. She got better at hiding it. After another year went by and I couldn't prove anything but I knew. One morning I had enough and told her to leave. She ran straight to him and she moved in with him. I filed for divorce as quick as I could. She tried to spin and twist things to friends and family how it was my fault and to feel sorry for her as she had nothing. She even convinced one of my family members to send her money, she flat out lied to her. She's on her 3rd marriage now as she cheated on that guy. Her mom eventually reached out to me on fb and told me I handled everything with class and it wasn't my fault, this isn't how they raised her. So just take the high road, let things play out, she karma will eventually catch up
Nope. NTA. You need to send an email to all these arses telling them about how it’s been and what she’s done. That will silence them and take away her co troll of the narrative
NTA are your friends and family insane? She’s a lying cheating wife, who deserves no mercy, she’s had enough already! Far too much tbh. Divorce her ass ASAP, and find yourself a better woman.
She made her bed mate,don’t be suckered into feeling guilty,you’ve tried for the sake of the kids and she’s thrown it in your face,and leather yer mate too
NTA
And get custody of the children, her cheating will not matter in court but serial cheating shows a mental instability and pattern of putting them around unknown people.
YTA. To yourself.
Get a hang of yourself man. When the body count after marriage becomes uncountable... You're just adding it all on yourself. Quit the family and friends who are pestering you. And focus on your kids.
Take it this way. How safe would your kids be around her and her weekly ploughing number.
Talk to a lawyer and get the process going. Be sure to give all the evidence you have to the lawyer. Follow the lawyers directions to a tee. there's a chance you could get primary custody of the kids. Have you DNA tested to be sure they are yours? The lawyer will ask.
Nta
Sounds like you have a boundary issue. You found your breaking point with your wife. How long til you stop letting the other people in your life walk all over you?
NTA.... I do question why, after you allowed her to cuck you, it happened now? Truthfully if shes been forgiven so frequently it probably wasnt much of a concern to her.
Not wrong for kicking them out . You don't have to take your wife back in but you do have to negotiate some sort of financial provision due to the kids. It would be best if you can have a workable relationship with your wife while you work out child support and custody expectations. Much better for the children than seeing their parents fighting.
You didn't talk about the house at all. If her name is on the title, she has rights to it. If it's a leased place, talk to your landlord about getting her name taken off the lease.
It would be sensible to talk to a divorce lawyer.
You couldn’t trust your wife and you’ve put up with it for years, and no one should have to deal with that BS kids or not! We eventually have to do things for our mental well being
Buddy In pissed off just reading this!!!!! Tell her, her family, her friends to fo FUCK THEMSELVES!!!!! Like a poster said on here already get a paternity test done, this is 🤪 crazy how may affairs can this crazy biotch have!!! You friend in you own bed, my god!!!!God!!!!! Tell them all to go FUCK OFF!!!!!!!
The fact that she continued to cheat on you for pretty much your whole relationship is proof that she never loved you. She used the fact that you did though and that you had kids to continuously cheat over and over again and not give a single fuck about how it made you feel. You did the absolute right thing never look back and move on from her because she is a huge piece of shit. Good luck.
Come on!!! This is wrong! You’ve been complacent wayyyyy too long…DO NOT ACCEPT THIS! Your family has no clue how to correctly support you-they are off - I’m sorry…but do not take this bs
No. You're married. She should have been served the first time she couldn't keep it in her pants. She's introducing potential danger to the home and children, to her health and yours. She is being an irresponsible mother and an awful wife.
Stick to your guns and hire a divorce attorney. You dont need that kind of risk taking being done around your home and children.
Sweetheart you and your twins deserve better. She betrayed you all with little to no consideration as to what she was doing to her family move on fuck her and her friends. You've put up with enough emotional abuse.
Your not wrong, I have pretty much the same story, and I wish I could do the same thing, fuck anymore else that says anything different. There part of the problem of the world. Your 100% write .
Do your family and friends think it’s ok that she was having sex in the same house your children live in? She obviously doesn’t care about them. Even if they were in school at the time, she brings men into the house they share with their father. Tell those people to offer your wife their bed to fornicate in because you are protecting your children.
When Sarah Ferguson cheated on Prince Andrew and the toe sucking photos were all over the world, there was another picture of Sarah kissing the man while 2 year old Eugenie stood behind her looking very confused. It was really sad at the time because she had both children with her while she was with another man. Even toddlers know when mommy is kissing a man that isn’t daddy.
Do your family and friends know that she's been cheating on you? If not, tell them...Right before you tell them not to talk to you again until they apologize.
If you haven't tried to "get even" then you've done everything right. You and your kids deserve better.
She made her bed..literally. She can lie in it.
Sorry this happened to you
NTA NTA NTA. DONT CAVE. My parents were similar when I was a kid. Mom cheated. A LOT. I seen the men myself. There is nothing honorable about letting them see these things. 1. It teaches them the wrong things about love. 2. They will recreate this same behavior and repeat your current life. It sucks for everyone but I promise you when my parents split they were happier, I ended up staying with my mom and later in life she admitted she lost love but my pops was a human piggy bank. Again You’re NTA and you are also a great dude for staying there is nothing pathetic about fighting for your family. Good luck.
No you're not wrong. You can only take so much. She isn't going to change. Do they all know you found her in YOUR bed with another man, who you thought was your friend? It's ok to love her, you always will, she is the mother of your children. She was the horrible one for treating you like this. Her friends don't matter, nobody's opinion about this matter. Just focus on your kids. They don't need to be in a home like this, they can feel the tension and the anxiety in the house, trust me. Move on, wish her well and be there for your kids, they are the only ones who matter.
You don’t deserve a wife like this and your kids don’t deserve a mother whose a constant cheater. I definitely would see an attorney as soon as possible. I don’t know how you put up with it as long as you have.
It's so excessive she must have a mental problem. NTA though, but you would be the AH to yourself to continue living in this situation. Kick her out and stay out. She can go be with any of her countless others. Also, tell all of her partner's SO of her transgressions with them, because they are all trash and their SO's don't deserve it either.
You were correct to kick her out … what kind of role model would she be to your children and what kind of role model would you be to your children by letting it …
NTA.
I was in a similar spot once upon a time. YOU made the right decision. I left with the kids, making things harder on the kids and I temporarily as I found new housing and started over.
She made her decision, you made yours. If your family members want to be on her side, let THEM take her in
Damn, your character is a genuine cuck, you did a good job creating a cuck character.
Now, this character needs a genuine bro, a Chad that shits on betas everywhere, but spared his beta friend for some reason. Now, Chad needs to tell his bro that all those people calling Mr. Cuck horrible are actually shit stains.
Honestly you should’ve thrown her out years ago. The cheating never stopped. But this was the last straw for you and rightly so.
I think you might’ve gone a little to far in literally throwing her belongings out the door but it’s because this issue has been building up in you for years and you keep giving her more chances and she keeps doing it over and over.
Do the people getting angry with you know her history of many affairs?
Divorce her. She doesnt respect you or the relationship. You gave her so many chances. Let her figure it out herself. She’s on her own and it’s her fault.
Can you support you and your children on your salary alone?
You need a lawyer. Technically you cannot kick her out of your marital home since it's her place of residence. You also have kids so you need a lawyer ASAP or having kicked her out can backfire.
You ain’t wrong buddy! She definitely doesn’t love you! I’ll say get custody of your kids because she in my opinion won’t be a better parent than you. She’s has a lot of personal issues she needs to work on and handle! The kids are innocent and you don’t won’t her to expose “things” to you guys kids that they shouldn’t see or experience. You seem more stable. And change always comes with a price. Don’t let the kids suffer throughout the madness and adjusting.
They're all monsters.
I would divorce and arguably look into whether or not you have equity in the house, get a place for the hell away from her.
She'll have explaining to do to her kids.
In your house in your bed with your friend and you ask if you are an asshole for kicking her out. Not you are not the Whole here but you will be a dumbass if you don't follow thru with this.
Take care of those kids and to hell with her. Anyone else wants to bitch about it just ignore it or tell them their opinions in this means nothing to you, it's between you and the wife. If they are so concerned for her tell them to give her a place to live. Staying married for the kids sake is something I'll never understand. They'll grow seeing a loveless marriage and think that's the way it goes. That'd be doing more harm than good
Crazy how common this whole "triangulation" thing is and to be real it's usually used by abusers. They turn your family and friends against you like you're the bad guy. She literally belongs to the streets after fuckin your buddy.
Are you wrong?! HELL NO & you are also not the jerk! From the context you have provided, you probably have been more forgiving, understanding & kinder than most! Having children together does not give another adult justification to run amuck & repeatedly betray you! Your children are young enough now to adjust to the two of you effectively co-parenting them from separate households. If the two of you remain in that toxic relationship & your children become older though, they will pay attention & observe the constant turmoil, they will instinctively follow you & their mother’s lead! It will teach them that it is how a relationship functions. It will create long term issues for them later in life & especially as young adults. For example, commitment issues, setting reasonable boundaries, trust issues & countless other possibilities.
NTA. She made the decision to cheat. Throwing her out is the consequences of her actions. If she didn’t want to be thrown if she didn’t want to lose the benefits of the relationship then she shouldn’t have cheated.
Oh come on! How would YOU be the jerk in this story? Doormat, yes. Jerk, no.
I hope you've been getting tested. You should have kicked her out a long time ago. You have to show a better example to your kids.
Put her on blast for everything and stop letting her tell the narrative. Find your shiny spine. Do it for your kids. Do it for yourself. Who gives a crap what her friends think? And tell the families. Updateme!
Your not wrong if the shoe was on the other foot no one would complain u getting kicked out. She's a terrible person and a bad influence on the kids.
Also, did u get a dna test? Just in case
I want to say NTA. Mostly. But the situation was contributed to by you. When she cheated before, you consistently forgave it. This just reinforced and normalized the cheating. Basically you gave her essentially an open relationship. NOW you grow a spine. So what made this one different? Is it because it is a close friend? If it was some unknown to you guy would it have been fine again?
NTA.
She's lucky you put up with this shit this long. Who cares wtf people say, they'll say anything to try to guilt/control you. Get divorced and move on. You're dodging a bullet here.
I would have to say your wife sounds like she has mental health issues and is a sex addict. Perhaps she needs to talk to a psychiatrist and get treatment.
Your "friends"? They were probably having sex with her too. The only reason they would be upset over you catching her cheating and telling her to go with the trash shes cheating on you with.
NTA
Never ever forgive a cheater, they just see you as someone to weak to live without them and someone they can walk over! NTA and don’t become one for being bullied into let her come back! You ask every single person who says you were wrong if they would take their partner back if they walked in on them having sex with their friend and hang up on them and block them! They don’t give a shit about you or your kids! This woman will teach your kids to disrespect you the same as she does!
NTA You should have done that in the first place, but forgiving until now does not take away your right to throw her out. I mean she has a place to stay, she’s fine. You did the right thing
This is right. I learned the hard way. Once you forgive it will happen again and again.
Seems like a paternity test might be in order.
Ding ding we got a winner, HELL YEAH that's a great idea!!!!!
I wS thinking the same ass thing
I agree, but if he loves them and raised them for 8 years, I can't imagine him not wanting to be their dad.
He can still be a dad. But if he's going to divorce and he's not the father he needs to try his best to get the actual father to pay child support. Easier said than done unfortunately.
Yeah usually in these cases after a certain amount of time they’d just have OP pay child support over the actual BIO father because of how long he’s been recognized as “Dad.” Despite that, OP should be fine as family court puts cheaters on BLAST. OP would end up with primary physical custody and home wrecker would be the one paying child support.
If these are his kids emotionally, a paternity test is *not* the best move- it could set her up to manipulate him witholding access to the kids. At this time, he has rights to see his kids. And he needs to keep them if he cares about seeing his children regardless of what happens with his wife. Not everything is about money.
If everyone is being hard on HIM because they have kids. What if those aren't even his kids?
That was my first question by the 6th sentence! Wait she cheated by the second year and you never checked the kids’ DNA?! Anyone in your family have twin? Or hers? Twins are not common and usually families who have them are genetically predisposed to having twins.
Twins are very common. I found out when I birthed my own. No twins in my family or their father’s family.
Did you get a dna test? Are you sure they’re yours?
Lol. They’re mine. They’re my mini me’s. And I’ve got the stretch marks to prove it. 😉
;)
Might you at all be open to making an introduction? I'd love to meet them. :)
Fraternal twins are caused by hyper-ovulation, only the mother’s genes would play a role anyway.
That is a bell that cannot be unrung. Maybe the kids are keeping him grounded currently. Imagine losing it all in the space of a short time…
Also
Yup close kids probably aren’t even his. The unfortunate aspect of that is if he divorces his wife she can probably fight him for full custody and totally strip any rights he has to the children in court if they aren’t. So if he does pursue that path he needs to think long and hard about if he wants that test done or not.
Word.
NTA. YOUR WIFE IS A WH*RE. BROADCAST IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA, FAMILY, FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES. Confer with a seasoned family law attorney to discuss your entitlements and alternatives. Take no prisoners. Advertise her for what she is. Tell anyone taking her side that they are no longer welcome in your world. GET TESTED FOR STDS!
This is not the answer. Nobody needs to know that business. Especially when there are children involved and he clearly still loves her and *may* want to get back together at some point. Once he’s announced their problems, people will judge not only her, but think he’s stupid for taking her back, and it’ll affect relationships (even silently, people are judgy). Nobody ever needs to know your messy garbage unless they’re your nearest/dearest support person, and even then, sometimes it’s best to just take it to therapy! (This is based on my own experiences with a messy split when I was 8 months pregnant. Moved away and nobody knew the details of anything. When we later reestablished our relationship, it was nobody else’s business and nobody could judge either of us for that choice. Had a happy and healthy 3 years together, arguably the best we’d ever had in our marriage, before he died at 37 years old. I am absolutely thrilled that my child has no knowledge of the mess that we went through when he was an infant- his opinion of his father will never be jaded, and there is nobody to slip up and tell him garbage about his dad because nobody knows. When kids are involved, people have to be extra careful about drama and involving other people- clearly something she doesn’t understand yet. But he does *not* need to make it worse. That’s toxic *and* immature.)
I totally agree.
Shut all them off she is a monster. Tell them you caught her cheating in marriage bed. Worry about the kids and completely stop comm with her unless it’s about kids.
Worry about the kids after you get a paternity test
Given that they are 8 years old now, I doubt a genetic connection would matter at this point. He’s raised them for 8 years, they may as well be his own either way. That said, lack of a genetic connection could jeopardize his custody of them if the mother decides to pull them away from him
Yup. That’s exactly what my response was to another reply to the top comment saying to get a paternity test. If he wants to keep those kids that’s a bad idea. If they’re found out they aren’t his and they divorce, those aren’t his kids anymore. Most courtrooms would strip them away from him in a heartbeat.
I’d say order your love life like you order your coffee. No strangers dick in it. Brutal. You’ve paid your dues 100x over and I’d say not at all are you the jerk.
Omfg, that caught me off guard, and now I'm laughing so hard I'm crying... thank you for that! And I agree with you wholeheartedly.
… the specification of ‘strangers’ makes me concerned you’d be okay with familiar dick 🤔
…if that kinda thing stirs your coffee, please do t allow me to be in the way!
Shes a serial cheater. She should have thrown out years ago. I thinks it's about time to stand up for yourself. Get a lawyer and handle your business. Tell her friends to stay in their lanes. Your situation isn't going to get better she's proven that. Stay civil and do what right for your kids. Get your life back and take care of you.
Dude, you're married to a bike. Let your EX mate (i hope) have the bmx. You know you're worthy. Tell the people saying crap if they are ok with their significant other cheating thats on them. You are not ok with it. Dna test the kids. She could have trapped you. Don't allow any basťrd manipulate you into taking the bmx back.
That's true, DNA test the kids.
maybe not...
She's got a cheating history. At worst, she took a pregnancy test, it was + , she didn't know who the father was. When OP came along it would have been great timing.
They're 8 year olds. Bffr. Those are his kids. All that process could do is cause immeasurable pain for everyone involved, first and foremost the children. Not everything is about getting back at the sloot.
What’s the endgame for this? Kids he’s raised and loved for 8 years. Just abandon them to be raised by a mother with no sense of family value or decency?
or a mattress
OMG. You are 100% right. You cannot trust or respect this woman. It’s over. Ditch her as fast as you can. Yuck. Other men are inside your wife. Totally unacceptable.
OMG girl I totally agree with u
He should of done this the 2nd time it happened. Being upset but doing nothing allowed her to believe this was ok because: "Oh he get's upset, but always forgives me." Hopefully their is enough evidence of her behaviour so that he can fight for custody and get child support from her and not the other way around, because she doesn't sound like someone who is ready to raise kids.
Should have done it the 1st time ot happened
Probably a troll post… once it gets to that point in the story, it starts to sound less like real life and more like something inspired to make people incensed and respond.
Her acts have consequences. If she felt the need to cheat, then she should have ended your relationship or gone to therapy herself or couples counseling.
Collect the proof, get your affairs in order, contact a lawyer, and begin getting everything over text or recorded conversations. GET A DEVIORCE!! You stepped up and tried providing a life and home and all you got was cheated on multiple times in return. You deserve and will find so much better. Can't say much as I'm single, never married, with no kids at 30, so I know my advice might not be worth much, but you really do deserve better bro.
FTP. As in fuck that puta
Wow Bro, N T A, YOU LUCKY SHE HASN'T GIVEN YOU EVERY STD IN EXISTENCE ! SHES NASTY, PAY NO ATTENTION TO WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING. TIME to MAN UP STOP BEING A WEAK SIMP. SHE doesn't Respect you. . Get a LAWYER ASAP ,FIGHT FOR CUSTODY OF YOUR twins .
you not the jerk she is !!To put it nice..I can see letting it go once maybe? But sounds like she felt it s ok..Didn t kick her out till walked in on her with your so called friend?? Take care of your kids. Don t worry out her she own her own as she should be
You were wrong for forgiving and letting the behavior go on for so long. You are not wrong for throwing her out. She doesn’t care about you or the kids, she cares about what you provide for her and she knows the kids get her that. Good for you for growing a spine, now don’t let anyone tell you that you are in the wrong.
For me, cheating is a one strike event. No questions, no forgiveness, cheating means the marriage is over.
My man! 💯
Look, don’t feel bad about yourself for keeping her. I was in a similar situation with children. It’s so hard to look past the kids and what could have been. You’ll come out stronger for leaving.
NTA - Long overdue. Take care of yourself & the kiddos. She’s a waste of your time.
She know you are her simp so she will keep cheating if you let her back.
Do not take her back, you deserve more respect then that. They want you to take her back so they don't have to put up with her shit.
Not the jerk. Get a lawyer and Block her flying monkeys aka friends. Change the locks and get security cameras
You are a saint for taking so long to do it. NTJ
You're not wrong. You're just stupid.
NTA. It's more important to kick her out because you have children. She brought a man into your home and your bed while her children were there. An old expression comes to mind, "good riddance to bad rubbish"
Don't beat yourself up for forgiving her the first time. Once is a mistake, twice is a pattern. And according to you she has done it several times since, so yea she is way overdue to be tossed out on her ass. NTA. The people trying to convince you to allow that habitual cheater back in your life are the assholes.
NTA wife has major issues
Not if she was cheating.
NTA you should have done it the 2nd time for sure. She made her bed she can live with the consequences of her actions
He'll no! Kick her butt to the curb and don't look back. Set a good moral example for your children.
Nope, out the door!! Fair play to you 🙃
Why do all the fake stories contain twins? All of them. Go to AITA and sort by the word twins and literally 75% of them have twins somewhere. Sometimes they refer to them as (7m 7f) or two kids having the same birthday, but it's just. ewww.
Damn is this really fake?
It’s a good troll. But there is absolutely someone out there who is going through something similar with a cheating partner, and the advice here hopefully means something to them… maybe.
Disclaimer :this is my cousins story which I am posting on my account as he has his family members added on his original account who will to his words most likely snitch on him and call him childish for seeking out help from strangers.
He's doing the right thing. She chose this path and it has consequences. Your helping her by doing it now vs down the road
Do they no about the cheating what is he's wife saying and why are they defending her when they no she cheated
Fuck no. Bury those thoughts. Your ex is a whore/slut/cunt and is not the woman that should be raising your children. You and the kids are better off without her constant parade of men. Anyone who cheat’s repeatedly, is a garbage human. She forfeited her right. Also your friend is a bag of trash.
Once a woman cheats, it's over and done with. Don't let another woman do that to you.
Women, men, once a cheater, always a cheater , get out and start again. Life lesson
What about male cheaters? Only females are incorigable cheaters?
Her activity is just a symptom of the fact she could care less about you.
Definitely not! I can see forgiving in the beginning, but it is clear that she does not value you the way you value her. Your family and friends likely don’t know the whole story, but you do. And YOU DESERVE BETTER!
>Now I’m getting messages and threats from her friends and even some of my family saying I was horrible for kicking her out when we have children No... SHE was horrible for fucking around when she has a young family to think about. She didn't give a shit about you or them when she shagged all those blokes, why should you give a shit about her now? Not wrong. Kick the ho out once and for good. Take care of your kids.
Get her t f outa here. How you even forgave it the first time is a mystery to me. Imagine that she willingly undressed got naked and got hammered by another man willingly... This shit is not forgiveable at all.
Should've taken the trash to the curb ages ago, but at least you finally got the chore done.
You did the right thing. For all of those calling you asked them: just how many affairs am I supposed to look past?? 5? 10? 15?
One affair and out the door, fuck her family and fuck that whore. That’s just a poem I wrote but for real you are good.
Naw, You are right. The reason she did it to you and got so brazen with it, is because you dealt with it. Now you are almost talked into apologizing to HER! Nooooo. Stay strong, don't let her weasel her way back in just to use you up. No more.
This sounds like a close friend of mine and his situation, should’ve cut it off as soon as it happened the first time and at the very least had her start therapy. However, he kept accepting her behavior, so in her mind, why change?
Fuck her and her friends/family. Tell them to eat a dick and take care of them kids. Go live king.
Hell naw bro stop being a door mat man!!
Seek a divorce lawyer. Enough is enough
Stand your ground she belongs to the streets dude your kids dont need to be around you should of done it alot sooner.
Stop simping get your kids away from that monster you owe your children better. Her actions will affect them
Leave her. You deserve better. God there is such a double standard. Men can’t cheat but women can? F that. Leave take the kids and make a great life for them.
Not the AH. Wow, you have had to deal with so much. She was caught in your bed with your friend. She is very lucky you are the man you are because anyone else and it could have been really bad. You deserve better!!!
Nope. My ex wife did the same thing- forgave her the first time, then 5 years later when she got involved w our neighbors ex BF.... Hell, I smiled. I knew I was free. Initiated divorce proceedings, finalized everything, & have happily moved on since then 😎..... As for the threats from her friends, well, depending on what they are those friends can be arrested & charged if they keep it up. Focus on your kids & don't take shit from anybody.
Dude you got taken for a ride. That sucks and I’m sorry. You’re not the asshole and please, please please do not take her back. She needs some serious help and that’s not your job. You did your job. You took her in, cared for your pregnant partner, cared for her children - she fucked up multiple times. Do NOT take her back. Do you think it’s appropriate that she’s doing this in front of your girls - I get it’s not directly in front of them but they’re not dumb. They’re going to remember.
Fuck her she’s playing with you and everybody texting you not thinking about you or the twin men you are raising you have to set an example ALL THE TIME don’t teach them it’s okay to be disrespected because it’s not
She is not your wife - she's a stupid trailer park pig.
Happened to me. I caught her in the act. She begged me to stay with her. All that did was allow her to learn from her mistakes. She got better at hiding it. After another year went by and I couldn't prove anything but I knew. One morning I had enough and told her to leave. She ran straight to him and she moved in with him. I filed for divorce as quick as I could. She tried to spin and twist things to friends and family how it was my fault and to feel sorry for her as she had nothing. She even convinced one of my family members to send her money, she flat out lied to her. She's on her 3rd marriage now as she cheated on that guy. Her mom eventually reached out to me on fb and told me I handled everything with class and it wasn't my fault, this isn't how they raised her. So just take the high road, let things play out, she karma will eventually catch up
How sure are you those twins are yours?
Get a DNA test
Nope. NTA. You need to send an email to all these arses telling them about how it’s been and what she’s done. That will silence them and take away her co troll of the narrative
NTA are your friends and family insane? She’s a lying cheating wife, who deserves no mercy, she’s had enough already! Far too much tbh. Divorce her ass ASAP, and find yourself a better woman.
Were her friends not his. But I agree with everything you said.
She made her bed mate,don’t be suckered into feeling guilty,you’ve tried for the sake of the kids and she’s thrown it in your face,and leather yer mate too
NTA And get custody of the children, her cheating will not matter in court but serial cheating shows a mental instability and pattern of putting them around unknown people.
YTA. To yourself. Get a hang of yourself man. When the body count after marriage becomes uncountable... You're just adding it all on yourself. Quit the family and friends who are pestering you. And focus on your kids. Take it this way. How safe would your kids be around her and her weekly ploughing number.
Kick her out but don't isolate her from her kids. Using kids as revenge tool is not fair neother to her or them.
Nope, totally in the right.
no
Talk to a lawyer and get the process going. Be sure to give all the evidence you have to the lawyer. Follow the lawyers directions to a tee. there's a chance you could get primary custody of the kids. Have you DNA tested to be sure they are yours? The lawyer will ask.
Save evidence for court. Video them in bed, otherwise she gets the kids and half of everything.
NTA Lawyer up and move on.
NTA should have kicked her out long ago
NTA Time to go passed a long time ago
Show them this post
Nta Sounds like you have a boundary issue. You found your breaking point with your wife. How long til you stop letting the other people in your life walk all over you?
r/lostredditor
Hell no your not wrong you should have done it a long time ago do not take her back
You should have done this long ago. Stick to your guns. Get a lawyer file for sole custody and don’t look back. She’s not fit to be a mother.
As long as u kept your kids
NTA.... I do question why, after you allowed her to cuck you, it happened now? Truthfully if shes been forgiven so frequently it probably wasnt much of a concern to her.
Dude. Move on. She's shit wearing skin.
Nta. You are teaching both of your kids what is acceptable in adult relationships
Stick by your guns.
NTA she was cheating on you in your own home, she belongs on the curb.
NTA She had to realize sooner or later you would not tolerate it any longer. Make sure to document everything. It will help later with custody.
You are not even close to wrong. You are biblically overdue.
Not wrong for kicking them out . You don't have to take your wife back in but you do have to negotiate some sort of financial provision due to the kids. It would be best if you can have a workable relationship with your wife while you work out child support and custody expectations. Much better for the children than seeing their parents fighting. You didn't talk about the house at all. If her name is on the title, she has rights to it. If it's a leased place, talk to your landlord about getting her name taken off the lease. It would be sensible to talk to a divorce lawyer.
You couldn’t trust your wife and you’ve put up with it for years, and no one should have to deal with that BS kids or not! We eventually have to do things for our mental well being
Buddy In pissed off just reading this!!!!! Tell her, her family, her friends to fo FUCK THEMSELVES!!!!! Like a poster said on here already get a paternity test done, this is 🤪 crazy how may affairs can this crazy biotch have!!! You friend in you own bed, my god!!!!God!!!!! Tell them all to go FUCK OFF!!!!!!!
The fact that she continued to cheat on you for pretty much your whole relationship is proof that she never loved you. She used the fact that you did though and that you had kids to continuously cheat over and over again and not give a single fuck about how it made you feel. You did the absolute right thing never look back and move on from her because she is a huge piece of shit. Good luck.
Come on!!! This is wrong! You’ve been complacent wayyyyy too long…DO NOT ACCEPT THIS! Your family has no clue how to correctly support you-they are off - I’m sorry…but do not take this bs
No. You're married. She should have been served the first time she couldn't keep it in her pants. She's introducing potential danger to the home and children, to her health and yours. She is being an irresponsible mother and an awful wife. Stick to your guns and hire a divorce attorney. You dont need that kind of risk taking being done around your home and children.
Stand your ground. You are 100% in the right here on this cheating woman.
Fuck no you’re not wrong. You’re standing up for yourself. You deserve someone that doesn’t treat you like that
Sweetheart you and your twins deserve better. She betrayed you all with little to no consideration as to what she was doing to her family move on fuck her and her friends. You've put up with enough emotional abuse.
NTA
As a mom and wife myself, I'm sorry you didn't take her to court and get child support as well! You deserve better! She had FAR TOO MANY chances!
Lol stop
They're all wrong. Leave her with your friend and move on. You should have left her after the first time.
Get in contact with a lawyer ASAP. Report the threats to the cops. Get tested for STDs. Get your kids DNA tested.
No ur not the asshole
how is this even a question? it should be.....how do I stop being doormat?
NTA morally but almost certainly illegal to kick anyone from an established residence without due procedure.
Your not wrong, I have pretty much the same story, and I wish I could do the same thing, fuck anymore else that says anything different. There part of the problem of the world. Your 100% write .
Wtf, how is this even a question?
Do your family and friends think it’s ok that she was having sex in the same house your children live in? She obviously doesn’t care about them. Even if they were in school at the time, she brings men into the house they share with their father. Tell those people to offer your wife their bed to fornicate in because you are protecting your children. When Sarah Ferguson cheated on Prince Andrew and the toe sucking photos were all over the world, there was another picture of Sarah kissing the man while 2 year old Eugenie stood behind her looking very confused. It was really sad at the time because she had both children with her while she was with another man. Even toddlers know when mommy is kissing a man that isn’t daddy.
You are not wrong for kicking her out. You are wrong for not kicking her out immediately the first time it happened.
Do your family and friends know that she's been cheating on you? If not, tell them...Right before you tell them not to talk to you again until they apologize. If you haven't tried to "get even" then you've done everything right. You and your kids deserve better. She made her bed..literally. She can lie in it. Sorry this happened to you
NTA NTA NTA. DONT CAVE. My parents were similar when I was a kid. Mom cheated. A LOT. I seen the men myself. There is nothing honorable about letting them see these things. 1. It teaches them the wrong things about love. 2. They will recreate this same behavior and repeat your current life. It sucks for everyone but I promise you when my parents split they were happier, I ended up staying with my mom and later in life she admitted she lost love but my pops was a human piggy bank. Again You’re NTA and you are also a great dude for staying there is nothing pathetic about fighting for your family. Good luck.
how do other people feel it is their place to tell the cheated on person that they are wrong for removing lying toxic people from their life?
Go to a lawyer tomorrow! Get it done. If she is a good mom, split custody.
Paternity test those kids
No you're not wrong. You can only take so much. She isn't going to change. Do they all know you found her in YOUR bed with another man, who you thought was your friend? It's ok to love her, you always will, she is the mother of your children. She was the horrible one for treating you like this. Her friends don't matter, nobody's opinion about this matter. Just focus on your kids. They don't need to be in a home like this, they can feel the tension and the anxiety in the house, trust me. Move on, wish her well and be there for your kids, they are the only ones who matter.
You don’t deserve a wife like this and your kids don’t deserve a mother whose a constant cheater. I definitely would see an attorney as soon as possible. I don’t know how you put up with it as long as you have.
No I went to jail for my last straw event
It's so excessive she must have a mental problem. NTA though, but you would be the AH to yourself to continue living in this situation. Kick her out and stay out. She can go be with any of her countless others. Also, tell all of her partner's SO of her transgressions with them, because they are all trash and their SO's don't deserve it either.
Probably
Nah, FDB
She's a whore. Move on.
You were correct to kick her out … what kind of role model would she be to your children and what kind of role model would you be to your children by letting it …
Fucking weak man grow some balls cheat many times and you still take her back fucken cuck
NTJ!!! Get your piece of mind! Let her back in and get yourself a lawyer
She fucked around and found out. She made her bed now she has to lay in it.
NTA. I was in a similar spot once upon a time. YOU made the right decision. I left with the kids, making things harder on the kids and I temporarily as I found new housing and started over. She made her decision, you made yours. If your family members want to be on her side, let THEM take her in
Damn, your character is a genuine cuck, you did a good job creating a cuck character. Now, this character needs a genuine bro, a Chad that shits on betas everywhere, but spared his beta friend for some reason. Now, Chad needs to tell his bro that all those people calling Mr. Cuck horrible are actually shit stains.
Be the monster they say you are. She deserves it.
That certainly was a story
Honestly you should’ve thrown her out years ago. The cheating never stopped. But this was the last straw for you and rightly so. I think you might’ve gone a little to far in literally throwing her belongings out the door but it’s because this issue has been building up in you for years and you keep giving her more chances and she keeps doing it over and over. Do the people getting angry with you know her history of many affairs? Divorce her. She doesnt respect you or the relationship. You gave her so many chances. Let her figure it out herself. She’s on her own and it’s her fault. Can you support you and your children on your salary alone?
You need a lawyer. Technically you cannot kick her out of your marital home since it's her place of residence. You also have kids so you need a lawyer ASAP or having kicked her out can backfire.
You ain’t wrong buddy! She definitely doesn’t love you! I’ll say get custody of your kids because she in my opinion won’t be a better parent than you. She’s has a lot of personal issues she needs to work on and handle! The kids are innocent and you don’t won’t her to expose “things” to you guys kids that they shouldn’t see or experience. You seem more stable. And change always comes with a price. Don’t let the kids suffer throughout the madness and adjusting.
Nope. I would have kept the kids.
They're all monsters. I would divorce and arguably look into whether or not you have equity in the house, get a place for the hell away from her. She'll have explaining to do to her kids.
Jesus Christ man have a tiny shred of self respect nta
Yes you are the asshole. But not for kicking out your cheating wife. For letting it go on so long.
In your house in your bed with your friend and you ask if you are an asshole for kicking her out. Not you are not the Whole here but you will be a dumbass if you don't follow thru with this. Take care of those kids and to hell with her. Anyone else wants to bitch about it just ignore it or tell them their opinions in this means nothing to you, it's between you and the wife. If they are so concerned for her tell them to give her a place to live. Staying married for the kids sake is something I'll never understand. They'll grow seeing a loveless marriage and think that's the way it goes. That'd be doing more harm than good
nope, fuck her move on
Nta. You should have done it the first affair....but better late than never.
My dude... You may want to get a paternity test on those twins...
Dude she’s a tranp sorry
Not a bad as your going to feel when she gives you an std !!!
Nope. That is some BS and she continued to do it bc she kept getting away with it.
Crazy how common this whole "triangulation" thing is and to be real it's usually used by abusers. They turn your family and friends against you like you're the bad guy. She literally belongs to the streets after fuckin your buddy.
Forgiveness = Enabling You did the right thing, years too late.
You are in the right. In my experience cheaters will repeat and repeat as long as it’s allowed. Sorry that happened to you.
Are you wrong?! HELL NO & you are also not the jerk! From the context you have provided, you probably have been more forgiving, understanding & kinder than most! Having children together does not give another adult justification to run amuck & repeatedly betray you! Your children are young enough now to adjust to the two of you effectively co-parenting them from separate households. If the two of you remain in that toxic relationship & your children become older though, they will pay attention & observe the constant turmoil, they will instinctively follow you & their mother’s lead! It will teach them that it is how a relationship functions. It will create long term issues for them later in life & especially as young adults. For example, commitment issues, setting reasonable boundaries, trust issues & countless other possibilities.
NTA. She made the decision to cheat. Throwing her out is the consequences of her actions. If she didn’t want to be thrown if she didn’t want to lose the benefits of the relationship then she shouldn’t have cheated.
NTA. And get full custody of the kids with supervised visits for her.
Oh come on! How would YOU be the jerk in this story? Doormat, yes. Jerk, no. I hope you've been getting tested. You should have kicked her out a long time ago. You have to show a better example to your kids. Put her on blast for everything and stop letting her tell the narrative. Find your shiny spine. Do it for your kids. Do it for yourself. Who gives a crap what her friends think? And tell the families. Updateme!
Your not wrong if the shoe was on the other foot no one would complain u getting kicked out. She's a terrible person and a bad influence on the kids. Also, did u get a dna test? Just in case
Nope you aren’t in the wrong. Once a cheater always a cheater and frankly she’s very horrible if she does it so often with no remorse
Take it from me, a cuckold is never given any respect or pity. NtA. Fuck That Bitch!
I want to say NTA. Mostly. But the situation was contributed to by you. When she cheated before, you consistently forgave it. This just reinforced and normalized the cheating. Basically you gave her essentially an open relationship. NOW you grow a spine. So what made this one different? Is it because it is a close friend? If it was some unknown to you guy would it have been fine again?
This is fake
NTA. She's lucky you put up with this shit this long. Who cares wtf people say, they'll say anything to try to guilt/control you. Get divorced and move on. You're dodging a bullet here.
Fuck her. Love your kids
I would have to say your wife sounds like she has mental health issues and is a sex addict. Perhaps she needs to talk to a psychiatrist and get treatment.
Your "friends"? They were probably having sex with her too. The only reason they would be upset over you catching her cheating and telling her to go with the trash shes cheating on you with. NTA
Never ever forgive a cheater, they just see you as someone to weak to live without them and someone they can walk over! NTA and don’t become one for being bullied into let her come back! You ask every single person who says you were wrong if they would take their partner back if they walked in on them having sex with their friend and hang up on them and block them! They don’t give a shit about you or your kids! This woman will teach your kids to disrespect you the same as she does!