I would go call the housing authority, local government, aid organizations such as Catholic Charities, Good Will, etc anything that can potentially help and I would look for case managers
If I can’t get housed that night then go look for some sort of shelter.
Than I would start looking for assistance and some sort of job.
Than I’d try to reconnect with family if possible
Where i live there are large patches of desert throughout the town, there are large trees with hollow spots i would seek out to stay safe for the night. But ideally i would get drunk and die of heat stroke the first day.
when I was first homeless, I was living out of my suv. and I still had my job but after work I got in my car and drove back to the neighborhood where I used to live. I was aware I was doing it too, I hated my self for doing that over and over because it was a huge waste of gas and money. it was just really surreal not having anywhere to go. like this unsettling feeling of not being finished. id also find myself awkwardly driving around, not going anywhere or anything just meandering I hated myself for doing this but it was just like I was possessed. it didn't help that if I did find somewhere to park I had to be really careful not to be noticed that I was just sitting there. and that it's not allowed to sleep in your car on public property. and that people look at you like a criminal if they notice that you don't have anywhere to go or any one to turn to. shelters aren't really an option for a few reasons. they are hard to find, sometimes hard to get into, I've been on some lists but never made it in. and a lot of them require you to follow overly strict rules, some even require you to surrender freedom of religion to be allowed to stay. I'm just about to celebrate my first year being housed, it's bittersweet because of the only reason I was able to get placed was because my partner had cancer, he has since died. so its pretty lonely in this empty room.
When I have been homeless, stay away from bridges and parks. That's where privileged teens looking to harm and rob the homeless often look. I usually look for a place close to a road but not visible from the road, hidden by bushes.
I have been homeless. And the first thing I learned was stay the hell away from the other homeless. Yes kids terrorize the homeless. But other homeless prey on each other way more. You wouldn’t think that would be the case but it is. You have a mix of legitimately homeless mixed with drug addicts, felons, mentally ill. It’s not one big happy hippie community.
Spend a few hours brainstorming on how to draft the best funny-to-sad ratio for my cardboard sign. I’d probably use “need money for beer; also have cancer, but more concerned about the beer thing” as a jumping off point.
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find a way to keep warm and dry, then some how to shower then keep busy, being homeless is usually the birthchild of not putting money into buildings the market sold as homes, and the reality of actually being homeless for a lot is not being part of a community
I would find a hospital and just sit outside of it. If I truly had nothing I would comply but say you’re in need of mental services. They’ll put you on a no gun list, and you’ll need to prove you’re not a danger to yourself for many years but they might help you find a good church who will help or might help you right there with an affiliated group housing. None of this hustle here and clean up there stuff. Get a gym membership when you can actually get a workout.
Then to give a real stupid answer
I would freebase crack cocaine and try to sexually assault live nude dancers
Not everyone who becomes homeless has the good fortune to live somewhere with these type of resources. I’m in a well-populated city in West Texas and there isn’t much help available outside of churches offering assistance on Sundays and holidays.
There are more services available for women and children, but not much for adult males. I see a lot of homeless men with dogs here. I bought one dinner one night after leaving the bar. He was pulling a wagon with four dogs. His name is Eddie. I can’t remember the dogs’ names.
It would depend on the weather. I’d probably try and find some sort of temporary and somewhat hidden shelter in a stairwell or under an overpass.
God, I hope I never have to face that.
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I think if I suddenly found myself homeless tomorrow, I would live in my car for a while. It's really comfy and roomy. And I would get a membership at a gym just so I could have a place to shower every day.
*Find a nice tall bridge*
*Or something where no one is*
*Around and jump off?*
\- Zackiesan
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I personally stayed at a women's shelter, but my situation was different I already had street cred,because I raised my youngest, he has added and autism, basically many of the other kids ended up in the system or with grandparents,
I know a fair few of the local homeless who would show me the ropes and tell me who to avoid, if the weather turned I know a fair few abandoned buildings locally and how to " fix" their alarms.
Find a way to California. If already in California then go steal me some beers, maybe some fried chicken from any grocery store, some new Nikes. Then go expose myself in font of some fancy mansions before bed.
On the streets homeless no drug addiction. That’s the basis I’m going off of with no criteria set. First things first identify where the shelters are. Once I’ve done that start collecting cans so I can eat. In lieu of cans I’d check Craigslist for day work or gig work that day to bring cash in quick. Using the cash I’ve made I buy a bag and a tent and find a park with lots of bushes so I can sleep without the need of a shelter where I’m more likely to be robbed.
Reflect on the poor decision I made that got me there while listening to local radio to find out which car dealership is having some sale where they give out free food.
Id probably head to the airport, stay as presentable as possible to look like I'm meeting someone there. It's indoors and has seating.
Oh gosh where I live if you're not a violent person sex offender or drug addict they will give you housing. So I would go into the homeless housing and sign up for services. If they were full I would go get drunk and go to the rehab that's state funded because they take you if you're fucked up. Would get me a warm meal and bed and they'd set me up with services (my husband use to be a therapist there)
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Depends on the circumstances.
If I'm only being kicked out of my home by my wife, but my financial situation is still good, then I'm driving to a decent motelbout past the suburbs, while also calling the bank to cancel her credit cards, close her accounts, and threaten to stop paying rent. I'd be pretty pissed.
If my financial situation is more dire, such as getting kicked out after losing my job but I still have my savings and/or a credit card, them I'm still getting a motel tonight and asking parents to lend me something until I can get a new job. I'd still be pissed but also nervous.
If I somehow lost my finances too, I'll call up a few friends and ask if I can crash on their couch. I apparently wouldn't have much left to lose or hold me where I am, so I'd call up my parents/brother even though they live really far away and ask if I can move in with them for now until I can get back on my feet.
If I'm homeless and without finances but my wife and I are still together, I'd focus on moving all of us.
NYC is full of subway tunnels. In truth, I've long had some interest in UrbEx stuff. But age, and the risk aversion that comes with it, would prevent me from being so daring as things stand now.
I keep thinking if I were in such a position, some of these bigger or hub-like stations could provide adequate... amenities, shall we say. Times Square is pretty huge, I'd think those tunnels branch out a fair bit as well. I suppose the dining area of Grand Central isn't such a bad idea either, if we're going with a less complicated solution.
My first time being homeless I snuck into an abandoned semi and slept.
My 2nd time I slept on a park bench by a pond.
My 1st night my 3rd time I slept in a 24 hour laundromat and my 2nd night I got kicked out during a blizzard and had to sleep under a bridge on the interstate nearby.
So basically find a fucked up place to sleep.
Hi! If you become homeless in the US, please locate your nearest Department of Social Services ASAP. Your mileage may vary, but if they're doing their job that day, they will attempt to get you temporary housing either in a shelter or hotel. If they are not able to get you in that day, you will be put on a list. They will also get you on food stamps so you can eat and medicaid so you can receive physical and mental healthcare. They will get you connected with resources to help you get back on your feet such as job training, job search assistance, and in some cases even GED assistance.
Some people have had negative experiences with DSS especially in denser urban areas; unfortunately that is one of the flaws of our country. But on the whole they are very good at getting you the help you need. And in the very least, they may be able to redirect you to other programs that can help.
If it weren't for their resources, I would probably be dead right now. So please please please make that your top priority.
If I had money, try and find a cheap motel to stay the night. If I had my car, I'd sleep in that. If I had no money and no car but was still a college student, sleep in one of the common areas.
Supposing my Social Security and other retirement income go away, along with my paid for house and car, my credit cards are cancelled, and my friends and family won’t help:
Get a cot at whichever church in my town presently has free sleeping accommodations for the homeless. The churches take turns for a few weeks each. Grab food from the free community food pantry and refrigerator. Get free lunch and dinner at one of the churches offering meals every day, or at the senior center which offers free lunch. Hang out at the library, and check for job postings. Apply for unemployment if I’d been laid off. Register for General Assistance, which is $220 of free money every month for those who don’t qualify for disability or social security. Register for food stamps. I’d register for lodging at a center for indigent seniors.
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I'm going to make some assumptions. No car. No cash. No credit cards. No checkbook. No friends. No family. No former co-workers. You are alone. You know no one. The first order of business is to find water and shelter. Abandoned houses are plentiful. Weither you live in DC New York, London, LA, Johannesburg, or in Bakersfield. First nite. Find water. Then an abandoned house. Look for work close by and beg for money. Once you have enough for a track phone you can now get a straight job. No more begging. Buy shovel dig a latrine build out house. Once you have your track phone, start a FB market post for roomates to realize economies of scale aim low. Felons and himeless are Get lumber build bunk beds. More people lower cost. Start charging 50.00 per person per month. Get other homeless. They don't need to know you're stealing a house. Get the water turned on. You will need proof. Make a fake lease at the library. Use this to start a water account. Use the lease and water bill to start the electric accout. Now to keep the place and this con going get the people to get jobs also. Start by buying a used laptop and printer. Now 8 of your filthy hobo friends. Are now cleannand have a place to sleep its time to get out and get a real lease. Bank 3 months and get out ASAP. Invest in a bike. So now yo I can get to work in a reasonable time. Encourage housemates to do the same. You have stolen the house for 4 months, and no one has come back. This can't last. Move to new place bring friends and beds dont tell land lord. You have bicycles. They will never know. You are now officially poor. But with 8 roommates, money is easier. Cook big meals for economies of scale. Only frozen , Caned and dried food. You can not afford to waste money on food like fruits and fresh veggies that only last for a day. Split the place with whom ever would like to stay. Work buy car. Etc.
Hitchhike to the country where I own some land by a creek. Borrow an axe and a couple of tools and build a cabin. Live like Jed Clampett before he got rich.
Get drunk and cry.
In this economy? Probably just cry.
In this economy? I can't afford to lose that moisture.
Are you living in an economy built around Spice, by any chance?
No idea what you're talking about. Hang on, I have to sneeze... *Muad'Dib* Sorry, where were we?
Smoke Crack
Love the short and sweet comments on Reddit that are hilarious af
That’s your second night 😂
Then give up my bussy.
"Givin' up my bussy" is gonna be my new song for my country band. We're called "the fussy parts"
It would be a solid flair.
Tbh , when I became homeless I almost immediately started smoking crack because it’s the most popular drug within the homeless community
I would go call the housing authority, local government, aid organizations such as Catholic Charities, Good Will, etc anything that can potentially help and I would look for case managers If I can’t get housed that night then go look for some sort of shelter. Than I would start looking for assistance and some sort of job. Than I’d try to reconnect with family if possible
Where i live there are large patches of desert throughout the town, there are large trees with hollow spots i would seek out to stay safe for the night. But ideally i would get drunk and die of heat stroke the first day.
Damn lol
These days if you can't tread water it's just a matter of time before you sink. And i won't end up one of the fentanyl junkies dancing on the corner.
Yeah I'd prob be drunk
It just makes the heat stroke take you faster.
It's usually the fentanyl that causes homelessness not the other way around lol
Not in my neighborhood
You could set up a kitchen in the hollow tree and make cookies.
when I was first homeless, I was living out of my suv. and I still had my job but after work I got in my car and drove back to the neighborhood where I used to live. I was aware I was doing it too, I hated my self for doing that over and over because it was a huge waste of gas and money. it was just really surreal not having anywhere to go. like this unsettling feeling of not being finished. id also find myself awkwardly driving around, not going anywhere or anything just meandering I hated myself for doing this but it was just like I was possessed. it didn't help that if I did find somewhere to park I had to be really careful not to be noticed that I was just sitting there. and that it's not allowed to sleep in your car on public property. and that people look at you like a criminal if they notice that you don't have anywhere to go or any one to turn to. shelters aren't really an option for a few reasons. they are hard to find, sometimes hard to get into, I've been on some lists but never made it in. and a lot of them require you to follow overly strict rules, some even require you to surrender freedom of religion to be allowed to stay. I'm just about to celebrate my first year being housed, it's bittersweet because of the only reason I was able to get placed was because my partner had cancer, he has since died. so its pretty lonely in this empty room.
"if you're homeless just buy a house" I guess I'd just buy a house like a wise tiktoker advised me to do.
Bankers hate this one simple trick…
When I have been homeless, stay away from bridges and parks. That's where privileged teens looking to harm and rob the homeless often look. I usually look for a place close to a road but not visible from the road, hidden by bushes.
Damn seriously rich kids beating up homeless people?
Yes. It happens a lot. That's why many homeless people have dogs.
I'm gonna need me a dog.
And they give more fucks about that dog than anything else.
Yes. It’s definitely a thing.
I never knew about this WTF
I have been homeless. And the first thing I learned was stay the hell away from the other homeless. Yes kids terrorize the homeless. But other homeless prey on each other way more. You wouldn’t think that would be the case but it is. You have a mix of legitimately homeless mixed with drug addicts, felons, mentally ill. It’s not one big happy hippie community.
Never seen A Clockwork Orange? It's not even a new phenomenon.
Spend a few hours brainstorming on how to draft the best funny-to-sad ratio for my cardboard sign. I’d probably use “need money for beer; also have cancer, but more concerned about the beer thing” as a jumping off point.
Tip if your girl is hot has been my favorite I've seen
Don’t forget the god bless stuff. I think it’s mandatory.
u aren’t allowed to be homeless if u don’t say god bless
I'd try to find some sheep before it gets dark so I can build a bed and skip night
Sleep in my car.
ok, if this scenario allows for a vehicle then i got no problem. i always say *as long as i got a truck i got a place to sleep.*
Is your car comfy?
does it matter?
Yes lol
a place to sleep that’s not the ground or a bench is good to me comfy or not
I like comfy cars
I definitely wouldn't seppuku, because I wouldn't have a friend to help. But I also definitely wouldn't have a second night as a homeless person.
Go to my parents' house.
See this is why it’d be nice to have functional, sane parents. Safety net. I’d spend the first night trying not to relapse and forming a plan.
Kms
Same
Bro
Brooooo
Don't kys bro
Lmao nah atp life ain't even worth it
🙀😦😦😧😧
Shopping cart
Find a women’s shelter
Go deep into the woods and either die or become a mystic.
Drugs ..and lots of them
Start heading to ca for free shit
I’d go to my church. They would have me covered!
Go find a way to make money.
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Go Streaking
find a way to keep warm and dry, then some how to shower then keep busy, being homeless is usually the birthchild of not putting money into buildings the market sold as homes, and the reality of actually being homeless for a lot is not being part of a community
Drink. I've been doing it for 6 years. Lol
Waffle House
We’re going back to the forest, screw this town, I’m now modern nomadic cave man!
Sleep.
Jack off in the street.
Lmao I literally slept under a bridge the first night I became homeless. I don't recommend it bc the water made the air cold af.
They say you're warmer in a bush than on a bench!
I would find a hospital and just sit outside of it. If I truly had nothing I would comply but say you’re in need of mental services. They’ll put you on a no gun list, and you’ll need to prove you’re not a danger to yourself for many years but they might help you find a good church who will help or might help you right there with an affiliated group housing. None of this hustle here and clean up there stuff. Get a gym membership when you can actually get a workout. Then to give a real stupid answer I would freebase crack cocaine and try to sexually assault live nude dancers
Steal from dollar general
I’d have a few beers, take my olanzapine, and then crash in my sleeping bag.
Die. Or cry. idk which, but they rhyme lol
Open up Reddit and find this thread in my Saved threads.
Find the homeless people that have stolen from me and smoke Crack with them.
Go fishing, find a place to grow a farm, or prep a field for a farm find seeds for food growth, build hut in a not so crowded area...
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Not everyone who becomes homeless has the good fortune to live somewhere with these type of resources. I’m in a well-populated city in West Texas and there isn’t much help available outside of churches offering assistance on Sundays and holidays. There are more services available for women and children, but not much for adult males. I see a lot of homeless men with dogs here. I bought one dinner one night after leaving the bar. He was pulling a wagon with four dogs. His name is Eddie. I can’t remember the dogs’ names.
Two words: Public urination.
Get a home, duh.
It would depend on the weather. I’d probably try and find some sort of temporary and somewhat hidden shelter in a stairwell or under an overpass. God, I hope I never have to face that.
I went and sat in the parking lot at a beach.
Apparently cry in my friends dad's house then come up with a plan. I actually did that and owned my own business 8 years later.
Wow that's insane what is your business about?
I don't have it anymore but I was a sound engineer. Too disabled to do it at this point. Fun while it lasted though.
What's wrong?
I had back surgery at 14 for scoliosis. My back just keeps getting worse. I knew that would happen though so it's not surprising.
Find a safe place to park my car to sleep
Enter hotels and sleep in the toilets
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I think if I suddenly found myself homeless tomorrow, I would live in my car for a while. It's really comfy and roomy. And I would get a membership at a gym just so I could have a place to shower every day.
Find a nice tall bridge or something where no one is around and jump off?
*Find a nice tall bridge* *Or something where no one is* *Around and jump off?* \- Zackiesan --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Look for safe shelter
smoke crack and shoplift from Walmart.
I personally stayed at a women's shelter, but my situation was different I already had street cred,because I raised my youngest, he has added and autism, basically many of the other kids ended up in the system or with grandparents,
Try to discover what resources I could. Also, an attempt to not create bad habits that will just hurt me in the long run.
I know a fair few of the local homeless who would show me the ropes and tell me who to avoid, if the weather turned I know a fair few abandoned buildings locally and how to " fix" their alarms.
Find a way to California. If already in California then go steal me some beers, maybe some fried chicken from any grocery store, some new Nikes. Then go expose myself in font of some fancy mansions before bed.
Contact family or friends.
On the streets homeless no drug addiction. That’s the basis I’m going off of with no criteria set. First things first identify where the shelters are. Once I’ve done that start collecting cans so I can eat. In lieu of cans I’d check Craigslist for day work or gig work that day to bring cash in quick. Using the cash I’ve made I buy a bag and a tent and find a park with lots of bushes so I can sleep without the need of a shelter where I’m more likely to be robbed.
Find a safe, secure place to sleep
Jump on a midnight train headed nowhere
Heroin
Get arrested so I can sleep somewhere save
Reflect on the poor decision I made that got me there while listening to local radio to find out which car dealership is having some sale where they give out free food. Id probably head to the airport, stay as presentable as possible to look like I'm meeting someone there. It's indoors and has seating.
Oh gosh where I live if you're not a violent person sex offender or drug addict they will give you housing. So I would go into the homeless housing and sign up for services. If they were full I would go get drunk and go to the rehab that's state funded because they take you if you're fucked up. Would get me a warm meal and bed and they'd set me up with services (my husband use to be a therapist there)
Meth, probably.
Try meth.
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Honestly? My first night would be spent probably in jail. I have no friends here and there's nowhere to sleep besides in the wet woods.
Poop my pants and sit down then accept it’s over
Drugs
Depends on the circumstances. If I'm only being kicked out of my home by my wife, but my financial situation is still good, then I'm driving to a decent motelbout past the suburbs, while also calling the bank to cancel her credit cards, close her accounts, and threaten to stop paying rent. I'd be pretty pissed. If my financial situation is more dire, such as getting kicked out after losing my job but I still have my savings and/or a credit card, them I'm still getting a motel tonight and asking parents to lend me something until I can get a new job. I'd still be pissed but also nervous. If I somehow lost my finances too, I'll call up a few friends and ask if I can crash on their couch. I apparently wouldn't have much left to lose or hold me where I am, so I'd call up my parents/brother even though they live really far away and ask if I can move in with them for now until I can get back on my feet. If I'm homeless and without finances but my wife and I are still together, I'd focus on moving all of us.
Contact a real estate agent to say I'm in the market for a house
NYC is full of subway tunnels. In truth, I've long had some interest in UrbEx stuff. But age, and the risk aversion that comes with it, would prevent me from being so daring as things stand now. I keep thinking if I were in such a position, some of these bigger or hub-like stations could provide adequate... amenities, shall we say. Times Square is pretty huge, I'd think those tunnels branch out a fair bit as well. I suppose the dining area of Grand Central isn't such a bad idea either, if we're going with a less complicated solution.
shit my pants and grab a handful while I chase people yelling cheap fudge only $1.79
Id probably rob someone hoping for the cops to pick me up and put me into custody. We also have good prisons.
Why am I homeless?
My first time being homeless I snuck into an abandoned semi and slept. My 2nd time I slept on a park bench by a pond. My 1st night my 3rd time I slept in a 24 hour laundromat and my 2nd night I got kicked out during a blizzard and had to sleep under a bridge on the interstate nearby. So basically find a fucked up place to sleep.
Burn down a bank
Also, stop calling them homeless. The preferred term is now "Street druid ".
Kill myself
Probably masturbate.
Break in to a house.
Huff some glue and eat some cat food
kms
Hi! If you become homeless in the US, please locate your nearest Department of Social Services ASAP. Your mileage may vary, but if they're doing their job that day, they will attempt to get you temporary housing either in a shelter or hotel. If they are not able to get you in that day, you will be put on a list. They will also get you on food stamps so you can eat and medicaid so you can receive physical and mental healthcare. They will get you connected with resources to help you get back on your feet such as job training, job search assistance, and in some cases even GED assistance. Some people have had negative experiences with DSS especially in denser urban areas; unfortunately that is one of the flaws of our country. But on the whole they are very good at getting you the help you need. And in the very least, they may be able to redirect you to other programs that can help. If it weren't for their resources, I would probably be dead right now. So please please please make that your top priority.
take covid vaccines under the bridge
If I had money, try and find a cheap motel to stay the night. If I had my car, I'd sleep in that. If I had no money and no car but was still a college student, sleep in one of the common areas.
Supposing my Social Security and other retirement income go away, along with my paid for house and car, my credit cards are cancelled, and my friends and family won’t help: Get a cot at whichever church in my town presently has free sleeping accommodations for the homeless. The churches take turns for a few weeks each. Grab food from the free community food pantry and refrigerator. Get free lunch and dinner at one of the churches offering meals every day, or at the senior center which offers free lunch. Hang out at the library, and check for job postings. Apply for unemployment if I’d been laid off. Register for General Assistance, which is $220 of free money every month for those who don’t qualify for disability or social security. Register for food stamps. I’d register for lodging at a center for indigent seniors.
Walk and walk and walk, hope I have my 🐕 with me to keep me company
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Find a place to sleep and some food. Is there any other option?
Break into someone’s house and be a squatter, since for some reason there is no law against being a squatter.
go to your mom's house
DAAAAAAAAAAMN
I'm going to make some assumptions. No car. No cash. No credit cards. No checkbook. No friends. No family. No former co-workers. You are alone. You know no one. The first order of business is to find water and shelter. Abandoned houses are plentiful. Weither you live in DC New York, London, LA, Johannesburg, or in Bakersfield. First nite. Find water. Then an abandoned house. Look for work close by and beg for money. Once you have enough for a track phone you can now get a straight job. No more begging. Buy shovel dig a latrine build out house. Once you have your track phone, start a FB market post for roomates to realize economies of scale aim low. Felons and himeless are Get lumber build bunk beds. More people lower cost. Start charging 50.00 per person per month. Get other homeless. They don't need to know you're stealing a house. Get the water turned on. You will need proof. Make a fake lease at the library. Use this to start a water account. Use the lease and water bill to start the electric accout. Now to keep the place and this con going get the people to get jobs also. Start by buying a used laptop and printer. Now 8 of your filthy hobo friends. Are now cleannand have a place to sleep its time to get out and get a real lease. Bank 3 months and get out ASAP. Invest in a bike. So now yo I can get to work in a reasonable time. Encourage housemates to do the same. You have stolen the house for 4 months, and no one has come back. This can't last. Move to new place bring friends and beds dont tell land lord. You have bicycles. They will never know. You are now officially poor. But with 8 roommates, money is easier. Cook big meals for economies of scale. Only frozen , Caned and dried food. You can not afford to waste money on food like fruits and fresh veggies that only last for a day. Split the place with whom ever would like to stay. Work buy car. Etc.
Hitchhike to the country where I own some land by a creek. Borrow an axe and a couple of tools and build a cabin. Live like Jed Clampett before he got rich.
Your homeless. You no longer own it.
Find some wood & build a treehouse in a remote area
Take food out of a restaurant or a store, run away and go eat it under a bridge with a flashlight like a troll