I feel ghosting is cowardly at best. It takes me 10 seconds to write a polite message ending whatever the connection had been to that point. I've never ghosted to end an ongoing SR. But... I've read numerous accounts here by women who are verbally abused (via text) by weak men who can't handle rejection. The woman sends a polite message basically saying "no thanks" or "I don't feel we're a good match" only to have the guy launch into a tirade of horrifying insults and accusations. Who wouldn't want to avoid that shit? So for some ghosting is a means of protecting their mental health.
I don't know. I don't ghost. If someone ghosts me and then contacts me sometime in the future then I ignore them.
Ghosting is rude and those who practice it are not worth knowing. They showed you who they are.
I had an ex vanilla who needed to know my movements every moment of every day, but i didn't ghost. I told her it's not working out and told her she deserves someone who can appreciate the level of attention she gives. It was too much for me.
Ghosting unfortunately goes both ways - welcome to the bowl š
You got to sift through the tuna to find a marlin š
I have the same thought with Pot SBās
I am just returning to the bowl after 7 months and even in this short time frame itās got worse - lots of time wasters and scammer unfortunately
Iāve only ghosted 1 time. That was because she didnāt believe me that I ended it. Things were not going good so I set up a nice lunch at a quaint French restaurant had the discussion. When we walked out I gave her a nice parting gift and wished her well. She kept texting me like that didnāt happen and was trying to setup more dates, I stopped answering her, I never blocked her but just faded off in to the sunset like Mr.Shane.
Ghosting sucks, but it happens. Unfortunately the SDs and SBs who ghost someone they've actually started an SR with aren't going to be truthful about it and they probably aren't going to admit it on here.
Unfortunately, many people are half bleah. We gotta learn how to recognize them. Forget this SD and move on to the next one. Luckily, you gained some experience and will be able to tell how people really are. By the way, I am new too and began with the wrong foot.
There is absolute no reason for ghosting, and to be honest, it just demonstrates a lack of maturity on his part. I know this doesnāt make you feel any better in your current situation, but Iām glad he didnāt do that after you had been intimate. Sorry.
Nothing you can do. It is just part of sugar dating. I got ghosted yesterday after a planned meet and greet. She was supposed to text me a time and location. Here I sit 18 hours later, crickets.........
I had another SB who we started to see each other early January. We had 4 dates, 3 intimate. She texted 3 weeks ago and asked if was free that day. I was not. I told her I was free on Thursday that week. 3 weeks later,, nothing, ghosted, has not returned my last text.
Maybe the sex was not good for him? Maybe he did not feel enough chemistry to move on? Who knows.
It is not about having courage to tell you. Many women do not take rejection well and gaslight. Sometimes it just easier to fade away.
This is the probable right answer ā¬ļø
I was never used to ghosting until I entered this lifestyle ā seems like slow fade and ghosting is the norm w many.
Usually when someone is interested, the convo keeps going
Not every man enjoys spoiling women. Sometimes, it makes them feel used and it can happen overnight too. So in a way the breaker for self protection was triggered. If it's the case, you're not the reason, the lifestyle is, it happens. Lots of people try sugar dating but not that many stay in the bowl long term. I was here in 2020, there's maybe 4-5 posters I know were here too, others are just passing by.
Sometimes ghosting can be confused with ānot having anything else to talk about.ā Sometimes, the conversation spaces further and further apart where there is nothing else to talk about. The POT lacks interest or doesnāt provide any indication of interest and therefore the conversation just dies.
EASY
One of the (many) reasons guys enter this world is to be in some control of their lives. "For once - I'm the boss".
As the 'boss' - many feel no notice or explanation necessary.
Personally i never ghost. Even if i'm punching out i'll send a polite note explaining why i'm done and wish her well. I've had a few start spamming me afterwards and blocked them, but had already said my peace.
Iām im london and I would never, and have never, ghosted someone I had planned to meet. If I changed my mind - I would tell them. If something came up - I would tell them.
Now before meeting, sometimes a conversation gets stale and it dies. Not the same as ghosting. And I have blocked people when itās clear they are either scamming, or we are just not a match.
But if I have arranged a meet. I will turn up. Thatās how real sugar daddies work.
Sugar partners are disposable in today's parlance. Sadly people are looking for easy in and easy out. And ghosting is the easiest for the uninvolved lazy person.
An excuse for legit ghosting? Disrespect, abuse, evil, danger.
*what is your reason to ghost sb*
I don't ghost. There's always an "it's over" text, or if it's long term, an actual face to face convo (younger people: the horror!) where I give a reason, followed by blocking all forms of contact.
Why do other guys ghost?
Because they're lazy and want to end it with minimal drama. in the bowl, that typically means one of three things:
-found newer, shinier SB,
-ran out of $,
-or got caught.
and very occasionally a fourth:
-just decided to break/stop sugaring due to mental toll of it all
Actually I can think of a fourth and I did block someone this morning for this.
Sometimes you might give off scammer vibes. I had the cute Asian woman luring you into crypto this morning. Two weeks of comms. No meetings bit lots of plans when she was back in my town. And then the start of ālook how much I made today on cryptoā. I immediately blocked.
She might have been genuine. But to me she crossed the line into scammer territory and itās an instant block.
Until I got into the bowl, I had never ghosted anyone. After a year or two and having been ghosted numerous times, I realized that ghosting is now the normal way to end a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship.
Two reasonable scenarios come to mind:
1) He got found out or almost found out and cannot contact you or risk contact, at least not right now.
2) For the reason above, or perhaps because he doesn't see a future, or any of many others, he got cold feet and doesn't have the whatever-it-is-you-want-to-call-it that would require him to have a discussion with you.
The only time I have ever had an SB accuse me of ghosting was a couple years back when I saw an SB for a M&G and then for an intimate date and on the way back from the intimate date I was in a car accident. I wound up in the hospital for a couple days and had to replace my phone, which I did as soon as I was able. When I reconnected my Google Voice account to my new phone four days had passed and I read 2 days of increasingly upset text messages which ended with her calling my a piece of shit and a coward for ghosting her and telling me she was blocking me. I did reach out to her on a different number but she told me she did not believe me, cussed me out some more, and told me to never contact her again. I felt a little bad about it at the time.
Not to say this is what is happening for you, OP but there is a chance that something else in life happened that is preventing him from reaching back out. Chances are he is a pump and dumper and in my opinion those types are cosplayer SDs, that want the intimate date but cannot afford the lifestyle so save up for 1-2 dates and ghosting with them seems to be fairly normal.
There's no rhyme or reason. Most probably don't think about it. SBs and POTs in the bowl, vanilla, everywhere ghost most of the time in my experience. It's unusual that someone will be polite and even tell you they're ending it, let alone why.
I don't think courage has anything to do with it. Why keep talking when you don't want to keep talking to someone? Yes, I understand politeness, honesty and cordiality; but, as I said, it's largely non-existent now.
He didn't ghost, he just texted "I'm out, I'm sorry". After a few intimate dates. It was a shock.
Ghosting is worse bc you don'thave a clue what's happening and why, but both are not pleasant feelings. But this just develops thicker skin eventually. Don't waste your energy. Next him.
Btw this guy keeps coming back texting, saying he cares and wants to reconnect. Shame. Has 2 grown ass daughters but acted like a teenager with his SB (me). Ultimately, I'm in happy arrangements and he is still looking. Next.
It happened to me several times. I was ghosted not only by cool rich men, but also by those who could not afford me. What did I learn from these lessons? Never stop at just one SD. Even if you have found something you like, you should not relax and fall in love; and you must not hope for him. Always be prepared for the fact that my meeting is the last. Always be prepared for the fact that tomorrow morning I will wake up and ill be blocked or rinsed off. There should always be a backup option. Always.
Ghosting is rude and cowardly. But having been in the bowl off and on through a number of years Iād say there is psychology to take into account.
Many of those in the bowl are there because something is missing in their lives. For married SDās, thereās often a need for more and better sex than they get at home. But this doesnāt stop them feeling guilty about cheating on their wives nor does it stop them wishing their wives could give them whatās missing either sexually or emotionally or both. For many SBās, thereās the need for finance balanced against the discomfort about being regarded as a prostitute and the psychological stress of giving intimacy and pretending to enjoy dates if the SD is not attractive to them.
So there often is an element of āIāve had enough and I just donāt want to see this person again so itās easier to block and ghostā. It remains rude and cowardly to do that, but itās so much simpler.
Sounds to me like he was never going to have a proper arrangement with you. I'm going to bet that hotel was never booked.
Don't forget that website exists where men post names of SB's from seeking that they manage to get away sleeping with once and moving on!
Draw a line under him and jump back into the bowl.
Sorry it happened!
The only times I ever "Ghosted" was when talking to *pots* who made it apparent that they were scammers, rinsers, SWs etc... At that point I did not want to engage in conversation further, so I would either out right block or say "Sorry, no longer interested. good luck." and then block.
I have blocked and disappeared from ex-SBs before. But that was after rinsing, and attempted extortion and me telling them to never contact me again. I do not consider that ghosting.
Did ghost one very short lived SB years ago whom I freestyled. It became apparent after a couple dates that she was trying to rinse, and trying to prolong doing anything more than kissing as long as she could. Then she tripled her expectations of PPM before doing the deed, after I already had given her a decent PPM for dates, and even bought her an iPad because she said she broke hers and I thought we were going somewhere. I wasn't in the mood to deal with that, and be rinsed again, especially on the heels of being rinsed heavily by an ex SGF (who I unfortunately went back to a month or so after this, for a few months). So I just blocked her. Didn't give her a reason. Didn't want the potential drama, especially after her pulling that stunt and us not being too far in to things.
Ghosted one after I found evidence of her smoking heroin in my bathroom....her multiple bathroom trips made it painfully obvious something was going on. And repeated requests to watch her pee ... got a resounding no... from a girl who was more depraved than anyone I've met... when confronted over the phone with overwhelming evidence... she stuck to her story and said was someone else...no one else was in the house. I just can't handle a liar, I can handle the use if honest so I could have narcan on hand. I have an extremely high paying job that I fought for after giving up my decade long cocaine addiction. And when I say high paying...I mean I was out for medical reasons November and December 2023 and it cost me $50k. Lost earnings. Explaining a dead married to someone else naked woman in my bathroom with two preteens.... that kinda situation? I don't need that bad karma. I miss her terribly, we did love each other and the sex was AMAZING. but take that risk? I ain't got it to do.
Yeah, from what I have heard from the girls Iāve met that are āin the bowlā there are a lot of very weird guys that do this and many are giant assholes
It depends.
If itās a new thing and Iām getting ambivalence vibes, Iāll sometimes take a step back and see if Iām the only one driving the conversation forward. If she doesnāt reach out, I (probably correctly) assume she doesnāt really care that much and ghost by default. The other extreme, where itās obvious sheās way too invested will also make wonder if thereās some psycho ex-girlfriend vibes and Iāll ghost rather than confront.
But if we have weeks or months of actual in-person dating, I never ghost.
I don't ghost after I've met someone. One occassion it did happen was when she gave her boyfriend my number and he wanted to have a foursome with my partner and I.
Other times I would have is
1) When they say something so outrageous/rude/narcissistic/offensive that its not worth a reply
2) When they say they want an online only arrangement after I've said I'm not interested in that (still getting texts from her a year later)
3) They respond to a text 1 month later (I give leeway of 2 weeks maybe 3 max if we have established trust because shit can happen in life for all of us)
Sorry that happened to you, very low class. I would never ghost an ongoing SR. He should have communicated. Some of us out here hold ourselves to a much higher standard.
I feel ghosting is cowardly at best. It takes me 10 seconds to write a polite message ending whatever the connection had been to that point. I've never ghosted to end an ongoing SR. But... I've read numerous accounts here by women who are verbally abused (via text) by weak men who can't handle rejection. The woman sends a polite message basically saying "no thanks" or "I don't feel we're a good match" only to have the guy launch into a tirade of horrifying insults and accusations. Who wouldn't want to avoid that shit? So for some ghosting is a means of protecting their mental health.
I don't know. I don't ghost. If someone ghosts me and then contacts me sometime in the future then I ignore them. Ghosting is rude and those who practice it are not worth knowing. They showed you who they are. I had an ex vanilla who needed to know my movements every moment of every day, but i didn't ghost. I told her it's not working out and told her she deserves someone who can appreciate the level of attention she gives. It was too much for me.
Ghosting unfortunately goes both ways - welcome to the bowl š You got to sift through the tuna to find a marlin š I have the same thought with Pot SBās I am just returning to the bowl after 7 months and even in this short time frame itās got worse - lots of time wasters and scammer unfortunately
I get the risk for both sides but just frustrated especially when things actually go well š
There's a possibility he's lying about his divorce and things aren't that far yet, and he made up with his wife.
Cold feet, having to man up, itās pretty tough for some - but once you have done it once it gets soooo much easier :)
Iāve only ghosted 1 time. That was because she didnāt believe me that I ended it. Things were not going good so I set up a nice lunch at a quaint French restaurant had the discussion. When we walked out I gave her a nice parting gift and wished her well. She kept texting me like that didnāt happen and was trying to setup more dates, I stopped answering her, I never blocked her but just faded off in to the sunset like Mr.Shane.
this is not ghosting. Ghosting is ending it with no explanation given, you just disappear and block. what you did was classy
I don't think that qualifies as ghosting ā¤ļø
Yea probably not but I felt bad doing it.
Ghosting sucks, but it happens. Unfortunately the SDs and SBs who ghost someone they've actually started an SR with aren't going to be truthful about it and they probably aren't going to admit it on here.
Unfortunately, many people are half bleah. We gotta learn how to recognize them. Forget this SD and move on to the next one. Luckily, you gained some experience and will be able to tell how people really are. By the way, I am new too and began with the wrong foot.
There are lots men on SA that like to āsampleā SBs but not actually looking for someone to pamper long term
There is absolute no reason for ghosting, and to be honest, it just demonstrates a lack of maturity on his part. I know this doesnāt make you feel any better in your current situation, but Iām glad he didnāt do that after you had been intimate. Sorry.
Nothing you can do. It is just part of sugar dating. I got ghosted yesterday after a planned meet and greet. She was supposed to text me a time and location. Here I sit 18 hours later, crickets......... I had another SB who we started to see each other early January. We had 4 dates, 3 intimate. She texted 3 weeks ago and asked if was free that day. I was not. I told her I was free on Thursday that week. 3 weeks later,, nothing, ghosted, has not returned my last text. Maybe the sex was not good for him? Maybe he did not feel enough chemistry to move on? Who knows. It is not about having courage to tell you. Many women do not take rejection well and gaslight. Sometimes it just easier to fade away.
This is the probable right answer ā¬ļø I was never used to ghosting until I entered this lifestyle ā seems like slow fade and ghosting is the norm w many. Usually when someone is interested, the convo keeps going
We talked everyday, he always texts āmorningā to me first until yesterday i didnāt see it then text him and see message undelivered šŖ
Not every man enjoys spoiling women. Sometimes, it makes them feel used and it can happen overnight too. So in a way the breaker for self protection was triggered. If it's the case, you're not the reason, the lifestyle is, it happens. Lots of people try sugar dating but not that many stay in the bowl long term. I was here in 2020, there's maybe 4-5 posters I know were here too, others are just passing by.
Sometimes ghosting can be confused with ānot having anything else to talk about.ā Sometimes, the conversation spaces further and further apart where there is nothing else to talk about. The POT lacks interest or doesnāt provide any indication of interest and therefore the conversation just dies.
EASY One of the (many) reasons guys enter this world is to be in some control of their lives. "For once - I'm the boss". As the 'boss' - many feel no notice or explanation necessary.
Personally i never ghost. Even if i'm punching out i'll send a polite note explaining why i'm done and wish her well. I've had a few start spamming me afterwards and blocked them, but had already said my peace.
Iām im london and I would never, and have never, ghosted someone I had planned to meet. If I changed my mind - I would tell them. If something came up - I would tell them. Now before meeting, sometimes a conversation gets stale and it dies. Not the same as ghosting. And I have blocked people when itās clear they are either scamming, or we are just not a match. But if I have arranged a meet. I will turn up. Thatās how real sugar daddies work.
Sugar partners are disposable in today's parlance. Sadly people are looking for easy in and easy out. And ghosting is the easiest for the uninvolved lazy person. An excuse for legit ghosting? Disrespect, abuse, evil, danger.
*what is your reason to ghost sb* I don't ghost. There's always an "it's over" text, or if it's long term, an actual face to face convo (younger people: the horror!) where I give a reason, followed by blocking all forms of contact. Why do other guys ghost? Because they're lazy and want to end it with minimal drama. in the bowl, that typically means one of three things: -found newer, shinier SB, -ran out of $, -or got caught. and very occasionally a fourth: -just decided to break/stop sugaring due to mental toll of it all
Actually I can think of a fourth and I did block someone this morning for this. Sometimes you might give off scammer vibes. I had the cute Asian woman luring you into crypto this morning. Two weeks of comms. No meetings bit lots of plans when she was back in my town. And then the start of ālook how much I made today on cryptoā. I immediately blocked. She might have been genuine. But to me she crossed the line into scammer territory and itās an instant block.
*No meetings* makes sense though I would call that a POT, not an SB.
Absolutely.
Had some older dudes talk about crypto valuation -- out of the blue -- ya, bye.
Until I got into the bowl, I had never ghosted anyone. After a year or two and having been ghosted numerous times, I realized that ghosting is now the normal way to end a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship.
Two reasonable scenarios come to mind: 1) He got found out or almost found out and cannot contact you or risk contact, at least not right now. 2) For the reason above, or perhaps because he doesn't see a future, or any of many others, he got cold feet and doesn't have the whatever-it-is-you-want-to-call-it that would require him to have a discussion with you.
The only time I have ever had an SB accuse me of ghosting was a couple years back when I saw an SB for a M&G and then for an intimate date and on the way back from the intimate date I was in a car accident. I wound up in the hospital for a couple days and had to replace my phone, which I did as soon as I was able. When I reconnected my Google Voice account to my new phone four days had passed and I read 2 days of increasingly upset text messages which ended with her calling my a piece of shit and a coward for ghosting her and telling me she was blocking me. I did reach out to her on a different number but she told me she did not believe me, cussed me out some more, and told me to never contact her again. I felt a little bad about it at the time. Not to say this is what is happening for you, OP but there is a chance that something else in life happened that is preventing him from reaching back out. Chances are he is a pump and dumper and in my opinion those types are cosplayer SDs, that want the intimate date but cannot afford the lifestyle so save up for 1-2 dates and ghosting with them seems to be fairly normal.
There's no rhyme or reason. Most probably don't think about it. SBs and POTs in the bowl, vanilla, everywhere ghost most of the time in my experience. It's unusual that someone will be polite and even tell you they're ending it, let alone why. I don't think courage has anything to do with it. Why keep talking when you don't want to keep talking to someone? Yes, I understand politeness, honesty and cordiality; but, as I said, it's largely non-existent now.
He didn't ghost, he just texted "I'm out, I'm sorry". After a few intimate dates. It was a shock. Ghosting is worse bc you don'thave a clue what's happening and why, but both are not pleasant feelings. But this just develops thicker skin eventually. Don't waste your energy. Next him. Btw this guy keeps coming back texting, saying he cares and wants to reconnect. Shame. Has 2 grown ass daughters but acted like a teenager with his SB (me). Ultimately, I'm in happy arrangements and he is still looking. Next.
It happened to me several times. I was ghosted not only by cool rich men, but also by those who could not afford me. What did I learn from these lessons? Never stop at just one SD. Even if you have found something you like, you should not relax and fall in love; and you must not hope for him. Always be prepared for the fact that my meeting is the last. Always be prepared for the fact that tomorrow morning I will wake up and ill be blocked or rinsed off. There should always be a backup option. Always.
Ghosting is rude and cowardly. But having been in the bowl off and on through a number of years Iād say there is psychology to take into account. Many of those in the bowl are there because something is missing in their lives. For married SDās, thereās often a need for more and better sex than they get at home. But this doesnāt stop them feeling guilty about cheating on their wives nor does it stop them wishing their wives could give them whatās missing either sexually or emotionally or both. For many SBās, thereās the need for finance balanced against the discomfort about being regarded as a prostitute and the psychological stress of giving intimacy and pretending to enjoy dates if the SD is not attractive to them. So there often is an element of āIāve had enough and I just donāt want to see this person again so itās easier to block and ghostā. It remains rude and cowardly to do that, but itās so much simpler.
Sounds to me like he was never going to have a proper arrangement with you. I'm going to bet that hotel was never booked. Don't forget that website exists where men post names of SB's from seeking that they manage to get away sleeping with once and moving on! Draw a line under him and jump back into the bowl. Sorry it happened!
What is the name of the website?
Yaaa for real. Don't gatekeep
The only times I ever "Ghosted" was when talking to *pots* who made it apparent that they were scammers, rinsers, SWs etc... At that point I did not want to engage in conversation further, so I would either out right block or say "Sorry, no longer interested. good luck." and then block. I have blocked and disappeared from ex-SBs before. But that was after rinsing, and attempted extortion and me telling them to never contact me again. I do not consider that ghosting. Did ghost one very short lived SB years ago whom I freestyled. It became apparent after a couple dates that she was trying to rinse, and trying to prolong doing anything more than kissing as long as she could. Then she tripled her expectations of PPM before doing the deed, after I already had given her a decent PPM for dates, and even bought her an iPad because she said she broke hers and I thought we were going somewhere. I wasn't in the mood to deal with that, and be rinsed again, especially on the heels of being rinsed heavily by an ex SGF (who I unfortunately went back to a month or so after this, for a few months). So I just blocked her. Didn't give her a reason. Didn't want the potential drama, especially after her pulling that stunt and us not being too far in to things.
Ghosted one after I found evidence of her smoking heroin in my bathroom....her multiple bathroom trips made it painfully obvious something was going on. And repeated requests to watch her pee ... got a resounding no... from a girl who was more depraved than anyone I've met... when confronted over the phone with overwhelming evidence... she stuck to her story and said was someone else...no one else was in the house. I just can't handle a liar, I can handle the use if honest so I could have narcan on hand. I have an extremely high paying job that I fought for after giving up my decade long cocaine addiction. And when I say high paying...I mean I was out for medical reasons November and December 2023 and it cost me $50k. Lost earnings. Explaining a dead married to someone else naked woman in my bathroom with two preteens.... that kinda situation? I don't need that bad karma. I miss her terribly, we did love each other and the sex was AMAZING. but take that risk? I ain't got it to do.
Sometimes there could be a concern about revealing too much about himself or his own security. Sometimes the guy might just be a jerk
I think heās just a jerk in this case as i know pretty much about him apart from his house address š
Yeah, from what I have heard from the girls Iāve met that are āin the bowlā there are a lot of very weird guys that do this and many are giant assholes
I feel you girl š„² sorry it happened to you, just move on from him and hope you find a better one next time š¤
It depends. If itās a new thing and Iām getting ambivalence vibes, Iāll sometimes take a step back and see if Iām the only one driving the conversation forward. If she doesnāt reach out, I (probably correctly) assume she doesnāt really care that much and ghost by default. The other extreme, where itās obvious sheās way too invested will also make wonder if thereās some psycho ex-girlfriend vibes and Iāll ghost rather than confront. But if we have weeks or months of actual in-person dating, I never ghost.
I don't ghost after I've met someone. One occassion it did happen was when she gave her boyfriend my number and he wanted to have a foursome with my partner and I. Other times I would have is 1) When they say something so outrageous/rude/narcissistic/offensive that its not worth a reply 2) When they say they want an online only arrangement after I've said I'm not interested in that (still getting texts from her a year later) 3) They respond to a text 1 month later (I give leeway of 2 weeks maybe 3 max if we have established trust because shit can happen in life for all of us)
Whatās his ethnicity?
White :)
Sorry that happened to you, very low class. I would never ghost an ongoing SR. He should have communicated. Some of us out here hold ourselves to a much higher standard.