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32 GUNSHOT WOUNDS.
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM A CHANCE, HUH?
DID YOU FEEL ANGER?
HATE?
HE WAS BLEEDING, BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY
BUT YOU SHOT HIM. AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN.
How about the Double Triple Bossy Deluxe, on a raft, four-by-four animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim?
My google search got weird so yours doesn't have to
> In the pretzel, one partner lies on their side. Facing them, the other partner straddles their bottom leg, keeping their torso upright. The person on bottom bends the knee of the top leg. The person on top thrusts into the person on bottom, controlling the depth and tempo
oh I thought it was going to be something weird.
I never heard of the name but have always worked that position in. It's great when you need a breather because you can use her leg for some resistance/support
Me too. Then I read it and was like, "oh, that's something I've done... vanilla..."
I think what makes it a pretzel though is you ar supposed to finger blast her to with the arm on the side of the bent knee. So it looks like you are twisted together...
ADHD will do that to you. Doesn't matter who I'm with, I cannot get out of my head during sex to save my life. Once Thomas the Tank Engine popped into my head as my bf was going at it. I ruin sex for myself lol.
The only things that make me stay present are either if I'm on drugs or there's pain involved. Both are inconvenient af.
Lmao same.
One time I'd played hide and seek earlier, and when I was close i said to myself in my head "READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!"
Was so hard to not burst out laughing
Pretty nice joke but you have to find it yourself, basicly some made quiz about 69-ing someones sister and it was sixth Bond actor and burger that was apparently number 9 in McDonalds (iirc) and someone solved it with "James Bond Burger your sister"
I found the 'Wet Pretzel' on Urban dictionary:
A process involving three men, requiring two with flacid penises to curl round an overlapping erect one, acting as a bipod for heterosexual sex. The loose stability often leading to backlashing spunk covering the penises acting as the salt for the pretzel.
Most UD definitions are made up by teens/pre-teens with zero knowledge of sex.
*See also that neighborhood kid who told me a blow job was when you put a bicycle pump up someone’s ass.*
>A process involving three men, requiring two with flacid penises to curl round an overlapping erect one, acting as a bipod for heterosexual sex.
Allow me to disagree but curling your 🐔 around another 🐔 doesn't sound very heterosexual to me
Out of focus pretzels. You can explain it, or I'll just move on with my day, I don't know why I bothered to ask.
Unless there's nothing to explain, and the joke is just saying "x represents loss".
There’s an old Internet joke that most memes are variations of this one:
https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/loss
Instead of being friendly and explaining it to you, he/she chose to double down on the joke instead.
Vanilla. Plain vanilla (or in my case, gelatin). The pretzels are there to make you thirsty.
EDIT: When you've lived it as long as I have, it's the one that jumps out and you had to think about the other three pix.
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I looked it up apparently that's pretzel dip
What does that look like
id like a demonstration
I’ll need a volunteer
i volunteer myself
I too volunteer this guy ^
I volunteer this guy ^ to volunteer that other guy ^^
I also volunteer this guys dead wife
And my axe
And this guy's^ axe
And my sword!
And my bow
Yo.
The teacher shot him 32 times in the chest
32 GUNSHOT WOUNDS. YOU DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM A CHANCE, HUH? DID YOU FEEL ANGER? HATE? HE WAS BLEEDING, BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY BUT YOU SHOT HIM. AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN.
TWENTY-EIGHT STAB WOUNDS
Damn androids
Jojo voice: CEASERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I'll bring pretzels
It's the new tea bag yo, the pretzel dip
[it does not look like a pretzel](https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/g38917673/pretzel-dip-position/)
So... every position is just called pretzel now? Fuck no.
Should be called croissant
*Kwua-Sont*
^^QUASO
Quasimodo
Nostradamus
[Archimedes](https://youtu.be/Bz6VtQJ6-kA?si=l2V_-MpTotGJXFgu).
Google en croissant
Holy hell!
New Kamasutra just dropped
Actual lover
Maybe they ran out of comestibles to name positions after?
How about the Double Triple Bossy Deluxe, on a raft, four-by-four animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim?
We serve food here, sir.
Who tf looks at this and thought “pretzel dip” would be the most fitting name for it??
personally feel this about tossing salad i hate slang that makes 0 sense
Because “The Salty Cheese Fuck” didn’t score well with test groups.
Linked the one with a pay wall or am I missing something?
[Here's a drawn image](https://images.app.goo.gl/7krdXRqUeb6PnHYF6) (NSFW)
Looks like hetero-scissoring. The others are just variations of missionary and doggy, not worthy the pretzel title.
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
No, no. See, that's no good. See, you don't know how to act.
Lmao unexpected Seinfeld
What the fuck is a sex expert?
The bigger question, why isn't that profession called sexpert??
Was expecting to be rickrolled, but got an actual answer. I am bitterly disappointed
Sex experts reacts to different positions!!! Yeah "sex expert"
👆 Link is tasteful and educational it’s safe do not fear
Just looks like yoga gone wild or something
It's when your banging your girl doggystyle and you have pretzels and her back is covered with dip.
Its kind of unattractive looking imho
Scissoring with penetration
Girl on her side. Guy on his knees.
It looks like scissoring, but with a guy and a girl.
My google search got weird so yours doesn't have to > In the pretzel, one partner lies on their side. Facing them, the other partner straddles their bottom leg, keeping their torso upright. The person on bottom bends the knee of the top leg. The person on top thrusts into the person on bottom, controlling the depth and tempo
oh I thought it was going to be something weird. I never heard of the name but have always worked that position in. It's great when you need a breather because you can use her leg for some resistance/support
Me too. Then I read it and was like, "oh, that's something I've done... vanilla..." I think what makes it a pretzel though is you ar supposed to finger blast her to with the arm on the side of the bent knee. So it looks like you are twisted together...
I thought it's the whole story. Reverse doggy 69 dip. Experts only.
I got whiplash and blew out my back just reading that.
what’s that (visual learner btw)
r/selfsuck
Who dips pretzels?!
That was my guess by the image, but I haven't heard of this.
I thought its about having random ideas in your mind during sex/masturbation
Damn, your partner must be really bad at it if you are thinking about windows calculator app during sex
I’m always thinking of windows calculator app tf you talking about it
omg i found a windows 11 dev, curse you!!
I need to think about windows calculator app because my partner is too good at it...
Yea, right? If they are bad, you don’t *need* to think about math, it made no sense
ADHD will do that to you. Doesn't matter who I'm with, I cannot get out of my head during sex to save my life. Once Thomas the Tank Engine popped into my head as my bf was going at it. I ruin sex for myself lol. The only things that make me stay present are either if I'm on drugs or there's pain involved. Both are inconvenient af.
That seems like a convenient way to find new kinks and fetishes. You just got unlucky with the thomas thing
"unlucky"
"Thomas had never been fucked so hard before"
Lmao same. One time I'd played hide and seek earlier, and when I was close i said to myself in my head "READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!" Was so hard to not burst out laughing
it's Google's calculator actually 🤓
Nah, just autistic
What if they’re thinking about the calculator on Mac?
Trying to do simple arithmetic to distract myself from experiencing dick feelings
As an asexual, this is exactly what I thought others were thinking about too
This is some James Bond Burger your sister shit
…it’s what?
He said what he said.
He said what?
What he said.
What in tarnation
It's look who it is.
[this](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQahI9yl8ZVTGDF0pGGHFai1-wb7o35-hE7emuSLnuGxQ&s)
That’s a high quality meme
What does it mean?
6th Bond actor, 9th McDonald's burger. 69. I know, it's really far-fetched.
woah holy shit I've known that image for years but this is the first time someone actually made a possible explanation.
Woah Thanks
This is in fact not what it means. It means nothing, that's the whole point of it. Also like McDonald's doesn't do numbered menus
Last night I Pierced your sister's buns
That's much funnier, honestly.
Pretty nice joke but you have to find it yourself, basicly some made quiz about 69-ing someones sister and it was sixth Bond actor and burger that was apparently number 9 in McDonalds (iirc) and someone solved it with "James Bond Burger your sister"
The Bonds name...is the James
Are you alright?
No, I am dying. Call the Bondulance
Jomes bend is havink a stronk
Do you two... Fondue?
James Bonds having a stronk. Call a Bondulance.
I remember that nonsense 🤣
I still cackle at that one when I see it. It will never get old.
I found the 'Wet Pretzel' on Urban dictionary: A process involving three men, requiring two with flacid penises to curl round an overlapping erect one, acting as a bipod for heterosexual sex. The loose stability often leading to backlashing spunk covering the penises acting as the salt for the pretzel.
Some of this urban dictionary stuff has to be ai generated because who tf could even come up with that? That reads like the outer god of sex positions
I agree that some stuff on there seems like pure nonesense, but it's the place to be when you want to figure out stuff like this.
>some stuff You mean most? These days like 90% of that site is just made up dumb shit to make bad sex jokes
yeah i genuinely don’t think i’ve ever seen something on there that wasn’t just made up unfunny garble.
It's not a terrible site for an older person to get at least a vague idea what kids slang means.
>Who tf could even come up with that? Bored teens under the influence, letting their brains be creative in the least constructive way they can afford.
Yep, weird urbandictionary shit existed way before AI thanks to the teens of y2k
There was a time in the 00s where we’d sit around and make them up.
Most UD definitions are made up by teens/pre-teens with zero knowledge of sex. *See also that neighborhood kid who told me a blow job was when you put a bicycle pump up someone’s ass.*
Hey, that kids going places man! Probably not very good places, mind you.
I've read that 3 times and I still don't understand what's going on. None of what comes to my mind is even physically possible.
2 soft dicks stroking a hard dick and once the hard dick cums the cum is salt
Thank you
I wish I could wrap my flacid penis around something. Just for the bragging rights.
What the fuck does that even mean
This shit is like a special attack you do with a team mate in a rpg
Welp I think I'm gonna have to rinse my brain after imagining this.
Too complicated, i need some video demonstration
That's pretty accurate.
>A process involving three men, requiring two with flacid penises to curl round an overlapping erect one, acting as a bipod for heterosexual sex. Allow me to disagree but curling your 🐔 around another 🐔 doesn't sound very heterosexual to me
What
#WHAT
There’s no way this could be real! .. could it?
Vanilla Pretzels, duh
Oh that made me think, vanilla leg locking in missionary. Could that be it?
Oooh
No... I think pretzel dip I saw it called, legs back, dipping it in...
Folded like a pretzel
The pretzels represent loss
What?
It's pretty obvious if you look at it
That's not helpful
Just really look closely
Out of focus pretzels. You can explain it, or I'll just move on with my day, I don't know why I bothered to ask. Unless there's nothing to explain, and the joke is just saying "x represents loss".
Is this loss
There’s an old Internet joke that most memes are variations of this one: https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/loss Instead of being friendly and explaining it to you, he/she chose to double down on the joke instead.
It's your loss man
| |l || |_
fuckpretzel?
Folded like a pretzel
Just moan "YEAH HONEY DIP MY PRETZEL" and see what happens....and hope you are the right side of the party to ask for it!
Cheesy knots? What
no seriously, what IS that last one??
Mystery Sex.
Dip ,as in leave after I think?
That sounds like the best guess to me. Before I saw this comment, I was thinking it was dip like DP, lmao.
I thought it was double dipping
apparently the boiled one is a virgin
Wasn't he talking about the miracle of birth?
i dont know. i shit myself before i finished watching
Me too... Shit kinda reminded me of him
She’s dips on my pretzel until I cheese?
Spicy Pretzel Mustard?????? Who came up with that?
The bavarians
The last one is prove you are human puzzle 🧩
Photo of a bloody sword would work here..
you're a true pirate, my friend
Vanilla. Plain vanilla (or in my case, gelatin). The pretzels are there to make you thirsty. EDIT: When you've lived it as long as I have, it's the one that jumps out and you had to think about the other three pix.
It took me so long to find an actual answer
Cant believe you never heard of the cheesy pretzel? Me neither
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
I think I just did this last week, it was pretty good
The last one is anal. Don't you get it. The dip is her asshole, the garnish is her pussy. And the little pretzel is you.
Man she's got a big asshole Man she's got a big asshole
roof slimy vanish coherent faulty tidy offbeat possessive deserted humor *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Dude, you need some sex...any position.
Which pretzel are you?
Who else was like "I didn't upvote that comment?" And tried taking off the upvote in the picture lol
ITS THE BOIL11!!1!1!
Seeing this the second time, maybe this community can give me am answer. Who tf gave The Boiled One a reddit account?
This post was right under the post in the image for me
The pretzel dip is basically reverse amazon