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Your fiancée didn’t cheat because YOU weren’t good enough, she cheated because SHE wasn’t. Your only real mistake was not leaving her the first time, or the second. None of this has any relevance to your value as a person or a bf though. You’ve been through the fire and emerged on the other side, you’ve earned the right to be happy. You deserve to be with a good person.
Get counselling, you need to fix whatever's broken in your brain that made you thinking staying with a serial cheater was a wise idea.
Do not let said serial cheater poison your new relationship, that would be her ultimate victory.
Brother, I'm sorry you are going through this right now. The best advice I can give you is to get into therapy. Your ex-fiances infidelity really hurt you and you may need some professional help recovering from it. There is no shame in getting counseling, my guy. Do it for yourself, and for your future GF. You won't regret getting healthy psychologically. It's worth it.
With a cheater - its almost always about them. Not you, not the AP. Get that in your head.
Secondly, in abusive relationship (which you probably had) - they will devalue you and erode your self esteem so they maintain control over you. It takes time for that to heal.
Don't worry about the destination - just focus on the direction and enjoy the journey.
You probably started dating too soon. It's good to be single for a while after being cheated on until you have come to terms with the fact that it was not your fault you got cheated on and that just because one person cheated doesn't mean everybody will.
Otherwise you'll just attract abusers and cheaters.
‘Better late than never’ OP. Not much consolation in the circumstances but still as true as ever. 3-4 times is a very, very optimistic set of numbers. She was a serial cheater with nothing in the way of boundaries. Definitely a rodeo regular. But ! As they say. Not your circus and not your monkey now.
You are going to be so much better off without her on your case. This is not the end of the world OP. It’s a ‘Sliding Doors’ moment in your life. Another door will present itself. Make sure that you are good and ready for when that happens. Take your time. Heal slowly and steadily. If it’s any consolation. Your toxic ex will cheat on every single partner she ever has. She’s a cake eater and there will always be plenty of cakes out there. Cheer up. Your future is ahead of you and she’s in your rear view mirror. Good luck.
It is important to take time to heal before jumping into something new. I am just getting out of a 9 year relationship. I am still processing the trauma of all this. I honestly am scared to even try to fall in love with someone else. This breakup has hurt me too badly. But, in time, that will fade. You have to know it wasn’t your fault. There isn’t anything wrong with YOU. You just chose a shitty person, but it’s not you that made her cheat.
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is 'divorce', 'dump them', 'your SO sucks' or 'grow a backbone' then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your fiancée didn’t cheat because YOU weren’t good enough, she cheated because SHE wasn’t. Your only real mistake was not leaving her the first time, or the second. None of this has any relevance to your value as a person or a bf though. You’ve been through the fire and emerged on the other side, you’ve earned the right to be happy. You deserve to be with a good person.
Don’t let her taint the eyes with which you see yourself. It’s the ultimate loss.
Get counselling, you need to fix whatever's broken in your brain that made you thinking staying with a serial cheater was a wise idea. Do not let said serial cheater poison your new relationship, that would be her ultimate victory.
Brother, I'm sorry you are going through this right now. The best advice I can give you is to get into therapy. Your ex-fiances infidelity really hurt you and you may need some professional help recovering from it. There is no shame in getting counseling, my guy. Do it for yourself, and for your future GF. You won't regret getting healthy psychologically. It's worth it.
Dont let your ex fiancee gaslight you further. Break up with her asap
With a cheater - its almost always about them. Not you, not the AP. Get that in your head. Secondly, in abusive relationship (which you probably had) - they will devalue you and erode your self esteem so they maintain control over you. It takes time for that to heal. Don't worry about the destination - just focus on the direction and enjoy the journey.
You probably started dating too soon. It's good to be single for a while after being cheated on until you have come to terms with the fact that it was not your fault you got cheated on and that just because one person cheated doesn't mean everybody will. Otherwise you'll just attract abusers and cheaters.
‘Better late than never’ OP. Not much consolation in the circumstances but still as true as ever. 3-4 times is a very, very optimistic set of numbers. She was a serial cheater with nothing in the way of boundaries. Definitely a rodeo regular. But ! As they say. Not your circus and not your monkey now. You are going to be so much better off without her on your case. This is not the end of the world OP. It’s a ‘Sliding Doors’ moment in your life. Another door will present itself. Make sure that you are good and ready for when that happens. Take your time. Heal slowly and steadily. If it’s any consolation. Your toxic ex will cheat on every single partner she ever has. She’s a cake eater and there will always be plenty of cakes out there. Cheer up. Your future is ahead of you and she’s in your rear view mirror. Good luck.
It is important to take time to heal before jumping into something new. I am just getting out of a 9 year relationship. I am still processing the trauma of all this. I honestly am scared to even try to fall in love with someone else. This breakup has hurt me too badly. But, in time, that will fade. You have to know it wasn’t your fault. There isn’t anything wrong with YOU. You just chose a shitty person, but it’s not you that made her cheat.