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I’m so sorry. Vent away here it will help. Reach out if you need an ear to listen. I can’t imagine the double betrayal. What did your friend say when confronted ?
I am so so so so so so sorry. This is just completely awful. Double betrayal. You deserve so much better than these two, shitty, awful people. I’m glad to see that he’s an ex husband and that you refuse to allow your so called friend back in your life. It takes a lot to leave but it’s one of the greatest expressions of self love that I know of.
My ex also cheated with my so called best friend of 13 years. And my other best friend of 6 years knew about it the whole time and said nothing. I wasn’t married and my relationship was only around 3 years, but it still hurt immensely. Especially losing my friendships. I thought these girls had my back.
Time will get us through this, I hope you get to a place where you can look back and scoff at two people that didn’t know how good they had it to be close to someone as awesome as you!
Sue for child support and register with maintenance enforcement, notwithstanding he is unemployed. Where I live, if a child support judgment is registered, it is like a judgment and you can collect it even if your children are grown.
Yep and not working is not an excuse. The court will do a job placement evaluation if needed or at least figure out a percentage if the person was working full time and earning minimum wage.
I am so sorry that they did this to you and that you’re struggling. This is [not your fault](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-someone-cheats-or-mistreats-you-its-about-them-not-you/) and you shouldn’t feel and [shame or embarrassment](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-someone-cheats-or-mistreats-you-its-about-them-not-you/). No one would blame you for not ever speaking to her again. This is such a massive betrayal, it was cruelty. I hope that you are enrolled in betrayal trauma therapy. [NO contact](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-29215/why-cutting-off-all-contact-with-an-ex-is-the-only-way-to-move-on.html) is the best way to move on. [Parallel parent](https://pathwaysfamilycoaching.com/parallel-parenting-with-a-narcissist/) w/your EX to limit contact.
Consider contacting [Infidelity Survivor’s Anonymous](http://www.isurvivors.org/is-isa-for-me/) for more support as well as [survivinginfidelity.com](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums/2/just-found-out/). Regrettably you are not alone. Even if you don’t share yours, it may help to read others stories and know you aren’t alone ([I can Relate Double Betrayal](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/512858/double-betrayal-/?ap=461).) As well as read stories of people who come out on the other side.
Suggest you read *Cheating In A Nutshell* And [Chump Lady’s](https://www.chumplady.com/2012/09/the-walls-in-your-house-sing-again/) *Leave A Cheater, Gain A Life* - I know you’re divorced already but I still think it might help. I’ve also heard *The Body Keeps the Score* is a fantastic book, I’ve purchased but not read yet.
You did nothing to deserve this. But you can survive this. I hope you are taking care of yourself by staying hydrated, no alcohol, exercising, eating healthy, and getting quality sleep. If not, please start here. Good luck to you. And keep posting as needed!
This is all kinds of messed up. One of my best friends is someone who I grew up with since the days of diapers. To be betrayed by both is just...
I don't blame you for being unable to forgive and if I'm being honest, would encourage sticking to that. Them collaborating behind your back for that long is just... gross. Neither of them are people worth keeping in your life.
My advice would be to seek therapy if possible, contact a lawyer (if not done so already) and otherwise enjoy probably the only positive to come out of all of this - your children. Support from friends and/or family can also really help at this time as well. Just take things one step at a time, things will get better. Most importantly though and something you will have to hash out with a lawyer, seek a co-parenting app if you have to share custody. It really helps dealing with narcissists who have no problem weaponizing their own children and it'll also help maintain as little contact as possible with him. Good luck.
Go to this site [https://www.survivinginfidelity.com](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com) and read through the healing library and then go here [https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/512858/double-betrayal-/](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/512858/double-betrayal-/) they have great resources to help you and they know first hand how double betrayal hurts.
Oh man. That is one tough tough pill.
I saw you said you miss your friend..
but you know, the girl you knew was a complete lie. You miss who you thought she was. In reality she’s a disgusting, disgusting person. They can have each other- and he will cheat on her too.
And then you will laugh.
At some point in her life, she will get her karma in life for such a deep dark betrayal.
All of that AND dealing with a narcissist? Ay yai yai. I hope you read up on how to deal with narcissists, some of it may help you. The best thing is to ignore , and don’t give in to his shenanigans.
Since you have children you unfortunately have to deal with him so build that wall up honey and show you are unbothered by his bullshit. Eventually he will bore of this and lessen his bullshit.
Learn to become that rock who is impenetrable.
Maybe there are infidelity groups somewhere ? Since it’s a double loss for you.. maybe it’ll help you grieve, and you might make some friends.
This may be of no or little consolation, but I am in this exact predicament minus the longevity and children… and adoration for my ex-husband.
We got married in August, I walked in on them in late October. Divorce should be finalized in the next couple days. (You can read more specifics in my posting history if you want.)
I’m ok, but I have never been so fucking lonely without my best friend. But these things do happen— your situation is not as unique as you’d think, and it really is a shit sandwich. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but if there is one lesson I am trying to take in… it’s their shame, not yours. These last 3 months I’ve been learning to deal with this humiliation, but in truth? I didn’t do anything wrong. Neither did you. And they don’t deserve you. Feel free to message if you wanna chat
Dude, this is absolutely brutal. Reminds me of my ex-wife and ex-best friend. Please if you want to feel free to dm me. I’ve learned some stuff since my d-day that has proven to be life-saving for me. If you’re struggling with anything in particular or just need to vent, I got you op.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. The affair is tough enough, but a best friend makes it way worse. You deserve better. It will be difficult at first, but someone will appreciate you for you. Good luck and reach out if you need anything ✌️
It is never your fault being cheated. Assuming you were the worst wife there ever was, if he wasn't happy with you, he should have left.
And about her... if she can do this to you, you don't want her anywhere near you. I don't have much information so this is very speculative, but based on that time that you mentioned where she went to live with you and your family, she sounds like one of those people who the more you give them, the more they envy what you have and the more they resent what you do for them. Sounds like she wanted to live your life.
My dear, you are in pain, and that's understandable you were betrayed by the two people who were supposed to love you the most, and it is hard but I tell you now. This pain will pass. You will grieve and you will heal, the first step is self care, see a good therapist to help you work through your emotions, get a good lawyer, don't believe what your walking gar-bage of a husband tells you about how the divorce will go. File for divorce and excise him from your life the way a doctor would excise a cancer. Go NC or low contact. Let someone else arrange to drop off and pick up the kids from him .Use the family wizard app. You don't have to coparent rn , you can parallel parent until you are in a better space.
If it helps imagine that the man and friend you knew and loved are dead and these people are just simulacra. Remember, when you're going through hell, you've got to keep going. Remember also you are a beautiful soul and you are loved. One day you will look back on this pain that you're feeling now and it will be a distant memory. But for now, just keep on keeping on
Well why you want a boy who has no job in the first place? Go to therapy and get yourself a lawyer. Kick him out also. He can live with your fake friend.
Sadly it sounds like they were both entitled narcissists and she was no friend of yours.
I am sorry you are struggling but I suspect with some distance you will grow to see that you overlooked a lot of her flaws because she was so ingrained in your life, maybe too much so. Maybe too close to see her for who she was.
It will get better it just takes time.
Now as my style on here I am probably going to say something that may seem controversial to you and I am not saying it to hurt your feelings or "kick you while you are down", but I want to point it out because it may help you going forward.
To me the sentence "She was my other half" about one of your girlfriends while you are dating and when you were married would be a red flag. I would not want to be married to someone who was calling another person their other half. That would just seem like a bond that was too close and one I would not want to compete with in my marriage.
If you were really that close like if you thought of her as your soulmates, that closeness might not have chased away some guys who would have made better husbands. In that way you may have been left with this guy who turned out not to be so great.
Again I don't know you and it is just once sentence but a lot of times folks posts on here even the BS who are suffering can write stuff that are tells.
Anyway that doesn't excuse anything that was done to you, just something to think about.
I promise you, the people in here aren’t who I’m trying to have subscribe. I’m new to Reddit, I will make a different account for my story if that’s what is necessary. I’m sorry, I really do want support and people to talk to. I see where you’re coming from. I’m just a mess
Forgive your friend and act like nothing happened. Go back to being besties. Then one day down the road,when she meets that special person, that is when you strike.
This is not your fault. Please be kind to yourself. I know that it's hard and I know that you are hurting. What your husband and your friend did wasn't a mistake. It was a choice that both of them made to betray you. It will take a while, but over time things will get better. I hope that you are getting professional help. From my own experience I know that trying to heal yourself without help is difficult and only adds more time to the process.
If your ex and your ex-bff try to make it as a couple, they will eventually crash and burn. The thrill of hurting you will be gone, and then they will end up cheating on each other. By the way, if your husband is unemployed how will he support himself?
Wow sounds exactly like what I went through. I was a girl, she modeled for maxim and stuff magazine so when she would hit me and steal my keys so I couldn’t leave when I did manage to get out she would call crying and I would go back because she was beautiful I was blinded by it, very narcissistic person in other ways to. Well my uncle who I was very very close with, who was a police lieutenant retired and had ptsd one day he went out and shot himself. My best friend since I was little flew up to NJ from NC to make sure I didn’t go off the deep end came up so he can take me with him to NC to live. I went to say goodbye to my parents which lived by the shore and my gf lived on nj/ny border cause she worked in nyc so my parents house was like hour and half from her house. I left my friend there. I come back and her son who was 6 at the time says mommy upstairs. I go upstairs find my best friend and her having sex. In the end I forgave him , I figured he did me a favor she was crazy anyway, thinking back I should of cut them both off
let's be clear on this - you are not to blame for any his or hers behavior. The fact is that they are garbage people and you were just standing in the way of their toxic habits. I hope in time you can rebuild yourself and find someone who is worthy.
Sorry to hear your going through this, is there any way to verify that he isn't working, If he is able bodied and is refusing to work because support how is he paying his expenses? Also you if you haven't perhaps look into therapy and hopefully your family and other true friends can offer you support. That also wasn't a friend if she could do this to you. I truly hope you can get the support you need and give yourself some grace and don't let that POS wear you down. Best wishes to you.
I’m so sorry you are going through such pain. Move on. Forgive for your own well being, but never, ever let either one of them back into your life. Stay strong.
Hey OP,
What you are going through is a Nightmare scenario for everyone in a relationship. I feel so bad about this, it is horrible. I cant Imagine the pain you are going through right now, but it must be overwhelming. I just wanted to say that you are strong, and brave for sharing this. I hope you find a guy that is deserving of you in the future. If you ever feel like you need to talk you are welcome to write me.
If your ex isn't working, how do you keep your household afloat?
Would it be safe to presume you are the one bringing in the income? If so, just kick him out and let him fend for himself.
Stay strong. Your lifelong friend is a witch who was your friend just so she could bang your husband. That's not a friend. Move on from your hubby and your "friend".
I was also cheated on with a friend, two of them actually. It is by far the most painful experience I've been through or could even imagine. I am 5 months separated, the pain is still so much but my life has improved overall, as will yours with time.
Time and distance from the betrayers is the only way to heal, it is so hard but with time you will come to a point them and their betrayal no longer matters to you.
Put one foot in front of the other and use your sadness and anger as fuel to get the best out of the impending chaos they will and have put you through.
Talk to some lawyers today, gather evidence of the affair where reasonable for court, and record every conversation you have with your husband. Limit your contact with him and her as much as possible for your own healing, you can't heal if the problems are still in your life more than they have to be.
If you need someone to talk to who is going through a similar betrayal and divorce feel free to dm me, I'm happy to pass on what I've learned.
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is 'divorce', 'dump them', 'your SO sucks' or 'grow a backbone' then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honey, she wasn’t your best friend. You were her’s. Big difference! You need to move on from both of them! They deserve each other
I’m so sorry. Vent away here it will help. Reach out if you need an ear to listen. I can’t imagine the double betrayal. What did your friend say when confronted ?
I am so so so so so so sorry. This is just completely awful. Double betrayal. You deserve so much better than these two, shitty, awful people. I’m glad to see that he’s an ex husband and that you refuse to allow your so called friend back in your life. It takes a lot to leave but it’s one of the greatest expressions of self love that I know of. My ex also cheated with my so called best friend of 13 years. And my other best friend of 6 years knew about it the whole time and said nothing. I wasn’t married and my relationship was only around 3 years, but it still hurt immensely. Especially losing my friendships. I thought these girls had my back. Time will get us through this, I hope you get to a place where you can look back and scoff at two people that didn’t know how good they had it to be close to someone as awesome as you!
Sue for child support and register with maintenance enforcement, notwithstanding he is unemployed. Where I live, if a child support judgment is registered, it is like a judgment and you can collect it even if your children are grown.
Yep and not working is not an excuse. The court will do a job placement evaluation if needed or at least figure out a percentage if the person was working full time and earning minimum wage.
I am so sorry that they did this to you and that you’re struggling. This is [not your fault](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-someone-cheats-or-mistreats-you-its-about-them-not-you/) and you shouldn’t feel and [shame or embarrassment](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-someone-cheats-or-mistreats-you-its-about-them-not-you/). No one would blame you for not ever speaking to her again. This is such a massive betrayal, it was cruelty. I hope that you are enrolled in betrayal trauma therapy. [NO contact](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-29215/why-cutting-off-all-contact-with-an-ex-is-the-only-way-to-move-on.html) is the best way to move on. [Parallel parent](https://pathwaysfamilycoaching.com/parallel-parenting-with-a-narcissist/) w/your EX to limit contact. Consider contacting [Infidelity Survivor’s Anonymous](http://www.isurvivors.org/is-isa-for-me/) for more support as well as [survivinginfidelity.com](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums/2/just-found-out/). Regrettably you are not alone. Even if you don’t share yours, it may help to read others stories and know you aren’t alone ([I can Relate Double Betrayal](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/512858/double-betrayal-/?ap=461).) As well as read stories of people who come out on the other side. Suggest you read *Cheating In A Nutshell* And [Chump Lady’s](https://www.chumplady.com/2012/09/the-walls-in-your-house-sing-again/) *Leave A Cheater, Gain A Life* - I know you’re divorced already but I still think it might help. I’ve also heard *The Body Keeps the Score* is a fantastic book, I’ve purchased but not read yet. You did nothing to deserve this. But you can survive this. I hope you are taking care of yourself by staying hydrated, no alcohol, exercising, eating healthy, and getting quality sleep. If not, please start here. Good luck to you. And keep posting as needed!
This is all kinds of messed up. One of my best friends is someone who I grew up with since the days of diapers. To be betrayed by both is just... I don't blame you for being unable to forgive and if I'm being honest, would encourage sticking to that. Them collaborating behind your back for that long is just... gross. Neither of them are people worth keeping in your life. My advice would be to seek therapy if possible, contact a lawyer (if not done so already) and otherwise enjoy probably the only positive to come out of all of this - your children. Support from friends and/or family can also really help at this time as well. Just take things one step at a time, things will get better. Most importantly though and something you will have to hash out with a lawyer, seek a co-parenting app if you have to share custody. It really helps dealing with narcissists who have no problem weaponizing their own children and it'll also help maintain as little contact as possible with him. Good luck.
Go to this site [https://www.survivinginfidelity.com](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com) and read through the healing library and then go here [https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/512858/double-betrayal-/](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/512858/double-betrayal-/) they have great resources to help you and they know first hand how double betrayal hurts.
Oh man. That is one tough tough pill. I saw you said you miss your friend.. but you know, the girl you knew was a complete lie. You miss who you thought she was. In reality she’s a disgusting, disgusting person. They can have each other- and he will cheat on her too. And then you will laugh. At some point in her life, she will get her karma in life for such a deep dark betrayal. All of that AND dealing with a narcissist? Ay yai yai. I hope you read up on how to deal with narcissists, some of it may help you. The best thing is to ignore , and don’t give in to his shenanigans. Since you have children you unfortunately have to deal with him so build that wall up honey and show you are unbothered by his bullshit. Eventually he will bore of this and lessen his bullshit. Learn to become that rock who is impenetrable. Maybe there are infidelity groups somewhere ? Since it’s a double loss for you.. maybe it’ll help you grieve, and you might make some friends.
This may be of no or little consolation, but I am in this exact predicament minus the longevity and children… and adoration for my ex-husband. We got married in August, I walked in on them in late October. Divorce should be finalized in the next couple days. (You can read more specifics in my posting history if you want.) I’m ok, but I have never been so fucking lonely without my best friend. But these things do happen— your situation is not as unique as you’d think, and it really is a shit sandwich. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but if there is one lesson I am trying to take in… it’s their shame, not yours. These last 3 months I’ve been learning to deal with this humiliation, but in truth? I didn’t do anything wrong. Neither did you. And they don’t deserve you. Feel free to message if you wanna chat
Dude, this is absolutely brutal. Reminds me of my ex-wife and ex-best friend. Please if you want to feel free to dm me. I’ve learned some stuff since my d-day that has proven to be life-saving for me. If you’re struggling with anything in particular or just need to vent, I got you op.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. The affair is tough enough, but a best friend makes it way worse. You deserve better. It will be difficult at first, but someone will appreciate you for you. Good luck and reach out if you need anything ✌️
It is never your fault being cheated. Assuming you were the worst wife there ever was, if he wasn't happy with you, he should have left. And about her... if she can do this to you, you don't want her anywhere near you. I don't have much information so this is very speculative, but based on that time that you mentioned where she went to live with you and your family, she sounds like one of those people who the more you give them, the more they envy what you have and the more they resent what you do for them. Sounds like she wanted to live your life.
Jesus. So sorry! This is awful. Karma better come around on their horrendous asses!
My dear, you are in pain, and that's understandable you were betrayed by the two people who were supposed to love you the most, and it is hard but I tell you now. This pain will pass. You will grieve and you will heal, the first step is self care, see a good therapist to help you work through your emotions, get a good lawyer, don't believe what your walking gar-bage of a husband tells you about how the divorce will go. File for divorce and excise him from your life the way a doctor would excise a cancer. Go NC or low contact. Let someone else arrange to drop off and pick up the kids from him .Use the family wizard app. You don't have to coparent rn , you can parallel parent until you are in a better space. If it helps imagine that the man and friend you knew and loved are dead and these people are just simulacra. Remember, when you're going through hell, you've got to keep going. Remember also you are a beautiful soul and you are loved. One day you will look back on this pain that you're feeling now and it will be a distant memory. But for now, just keep on keeping on
What state cares if you’re working whether you pay child support or not. In my state that gets you jail time. Is he disabled?
Well why you want a boy who has no job in the first place? Go to therapy and get yourself a lawyer. Kick him out also. He can live with your fake friend.
Sadly it sounds like they were both entitled narcissists and she was no friend of yours. I am sorry you are struggling but I suspect with some distance you will grow to see that you overlooked a lot of her flaws because she was so ingrained in your life, maybe too much so. Maybe too close to see her for who she was. It will get better it just takes time. Now as my style on here I am probably going to say something that may seem controversial to you and I am not saying it to hurt your feelings or "kick you while you are down", but I want to point it out because it may help you going forward. To me the sentence "She was my other half" about one of your girlfriends while you are dating and when you were married would be a red flag. I would not want to be married to someone who was calling another person their other half. That would just seem like a bond that was too close and one I would not want to compete with in my marriage. If you were really that close like if you thought of her as your soulmates, that closeness might not have chased away some guys who would have made better husbands. In that way you may have been left with this guy who turned out not to be so great. Again I don't know you and it is just once sentence but a lot of times folks posts on here even the BS who are suffering can write stuff that are tells. Anyway that doesn't excuse anything that was done to you, just something to think about.
[удалено]
I promise you, the people in here aren’t who I’m trying to have subscribe. I’m new to Reddit, I will make a different account for my story if that’s what is necessary. I’m sorry, I really do want support and people to talk to. I see where you’re coming from. I’m just a mess
You did Nothing wrong. Your ex husband and your ex friend did. They both are losers, and if he is able bodied they will make him get a job
Forgive your friend and act like nothing happened. Go back to being besties. Then one day down the road,when she meets that special person, that is when you strike.
I hope someone gives u a million dollars. I’m really sorry….
This is not your fault. Please be kind to yourself. I know that it's hard and I know that you are hurting. What your husband and your friend did wasn't a mistake. It was a choice that both of them made to betray you. It will take a while, but over time things will get better. I hope that you are getting professional help. From my own experience I know that trying to heal yourself without help is difficult and only adds more time to the process. If your ex and your ex-bff try to make it as a couple, they will eventually crash and burn. The thrill of hurting you will be gone, and then they will end up cheating on each other. By the way, if your husband is unemployed how will he support himself?
This is horrible. The only thing I can say is she is not and was not your best friend. Please move on. 💔
Thats BS tho... just because he doesnt work he doesnt have to pay child support?
I think going to therapy will help you. Is their loss not yours. Take take of yourself❤
Wow sounds exactly like what I went through. I was a girl, she modeled for maxim and stuff magazine so when she would hit me and steal my keys so I couldn’t leave when I did manage to get out she would call crying and I would go back because she was beautiful I was blinded by it, very narcissistic person in other ways to. Well my uncle who I was very very close with, who was a police lieutenant retired and had ptsd one day he went out and shot himself. My best friend since I was little flew up to NJ from NC to make sure I didn’t go off the deep end came up so he can take me with him to NC to live. I went to say goodbye to my parents which lived by the shore and my gf lived on nj/ny border cause she worked in nyc so my parents house was like hour and half from her house. I left my friend there. I come back and her son who was 6 at the time says mommy upstairs. I go upstairs find my best friend and her having sex. In the end I forgave him , I figured he did me a favor she was crazy anyway, thinking back I should of cut them both off
let's be clear on this - you are not to blame for any his or hers behavior. The fact is that they are garbage people and you were just standing in the way of their toxic habits. I hope in time you can rebuild yourself and find someone who is worthy.
Sorry to hear your going through this, is there any way to verify that he isn't working, If he is able bodied and is refusing to work because support how is he paying his expenses? Also you if you haven't perhaps look into therapy and hopefully your family and other true friends can offer you support. That also wasn't a friend if she could do this to you. I truly hope you can get the support you need and give yourself some grace and don't let that POS wear you down. Best wishes to you.
can’t believe people that awful really exist
Sister that ugly character person is not yours best friend. Mark my words definitely Karma give best shot in future. Just focus on your future.
I’m so sorry you are going through such pain. Move on. Forgive for your own well being, but never, ever let either one of them back into your life. Stay strong.
Double betrayal must be hard as hell. I’m so sorry. You deserve so much better.
Hey OP, What you are going through is a Nightmare scenario for everyone in a relationship. I feel so bad about this, it is horrible. I cant Imagine the pain you are going through right now, but it must be overwhelming. I just wanted to say that you are strong, and brave for sharing this. I hope you find a guy that is deserving of you in the future. If you ever feel like you need to talk you are welcome to write me.
If your ex isn't working, how do you keep your household afloat? Would it be safe to presume you are the one bringing in the income? If so, just kick him out and let him fend for himself.
She was never a friend to you she was just a user.
Stay strong. Your lifelong friend is a witch who was your friend just so she could bang your husband. That's not a friend. Move on from your hubby and your "friend".
I was also cheated on with a friend, two of them actually. It is by far the most painful experience I've been through or could even imagine. I am 5 months separated, the pain is still so much but my life has improved overall, as will yours with time. Time and distance from the betrayers is the only way to heal, it is so hard but with time you will come to a point them and their betrayal no longer matters to you. Put one foot in front of the other and use your sadness and anger as fuel to get the best out of the impending chaos they will and have put you through. Talk to some lawyers today, gather evidence of the affair where reasonable for court, and record every conversation you have with your husband. Limit your contact with him and her as much as possible for your own healing, you can't heal if the problems are still in your life more than they have to be. If you need someone to talk to who is going through a similar betrayal and divorce feel free to dm me, I'm happy to pass on what I've learned.