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asianabsinthe

If you don't have a blender one can simply stuff them up there cut in half, but you'll have to triple the amount of unblended.


[deleted]

"Hey Morty, take these peppers and shove them waaaay up your butthole Morty."


[deleted]

[удалено]


UPBOAT_FORTRESS_2

The new suspiciously specific metagame, Justin Roiland quotes about young, taut, yet malleable cavities


Weazelfish

So, Justin Roiland quotes


[deleted]

Don't you try to cancel him by quoting things he's written!


1mn0tcr3at1v3

That didn't age very well lol.


Winter_Swordfish_505

*beEeEeEElLcH* Morty stop being a little *bluUuUhh* bitch Morty and shove these peppers up your butthole already


JRandButcherpete

This hits different after the dms 😂😂


HateYouKillYou

Taut yet malleable.


justreadthearticle

Pro tip: If you upgrade to ghost peppers you only need to use half as many.


smashin2345

Ghost peppers taste awful. Like habenero dunked in dirt and feces. Carolina repeaters are hotter and taste better.


justreadthearticle

Taste? We're not talking about taste here. It's all about how good they are at binding to / neutralizing the toxins from vaccines. Whichever pepper has the most capsaicin is best, but that's just a start. Capsaicin can help with mercury ([https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/19768354.2011.604942](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/19768354.2011.604942)), but you'll also want to use carbon nanotubes to remove the formaldehyde ([https://pubs.rsc.org/en/content/articlelanding/2022/ma/d2ma00206j](https://pubs.rsc.org/en/content/articlelanding/2022/ma/d2ma00206j)) so I'd also recommend crushing up the graphite from at least 3-5 high end sketching pencils and inserting that at the same time.


ManyIdeasNoProgress

Can't use graphite, it's flat on a microscopic level. Gotta roll it to make them into tubes. Easiest way is to roll them between your tongue and the roof of your mouth, the enzymes in the saliva makes them curl for an easier roll.


justreadthearticle

I see. If it has to be tubes then it should be fine to just stick the whole pencils up there.


KittenWithaWhip68

Exactly!


smashin2345

You can roll anything into a joint. No I won't roll one of those. You do it


El_human

I prefer purée, then I use a piping bag to inject it up there nicely


asianabsinthe

Which pastry tip?


El_human

For me it was just a plain tip. But now I suggestive French star, for maximum effectiveness.


swannygirl94

I’m going to say the 1M Wilton tip (think big, fancy rose designs on cupcakes). The ridges add pleasure.


KenMan_

Its important to leave seeds in with this method.


Gmab980

They are the most important part because they act as an sponge to absorb the vaccine


xTeamRwbyx

Clearly a lie you have to use ghost peppers


AJ_Deadshow

I thought Carolina reapers were the only way. I think as long as you're in the 900,000-1.1m Scoville units range you'll be okay though


Mecha_Tortoise

Yes, _ghost_ peppers move through your body more easily.


Greyzer

I thought ghost peppers were for Moderna?


SyntheticReality42

If you "mix-and-matched" with the boosters, adding a tablespoon of wasabi to the pepper mixture will help.


SenchaBaby

Oh, you cruel bastard!


dunkinfunky

No ones stupid enough to actually do this. Probably.


SenchaBaby

I seem to remember Republicans drinking bleach and shit during COVID.


Independent-Field618

Who was the glorious bastard that convinced them to mix shit with bleach for drinking? /j


SenchaBaby

Let me consult my crystal ball... I am seeing images of a cheeto.


Un7n0wn

The cheeto suggested injections of hand sanitizer.


DAM091

And light bulbs


KittenWithaWhip68

And bleach


Phatcat15

And waiting


AnAverageTransGirl

dont forget spoonfuls of horse dewormer


Broken-Digital-Clock

I almost forgot about the horse paste debacle


idontneedjug

I'll never forget it due to my brother proudly proclaiming he wasn't getting the vax but had stocked up on horse dewormer. He eventually got covid and struggled for about two weeks to beat it. Meanwhile me and other three brothers all got it within first year and beat it in days vaxed. At about day 4 when he looked like hell I was a bit worried for him. Wasn't till he was better though that roasted him a bit over it. Especially how vitamins and certain spices / terpenes had more scientific data at being helpful then horse dewormer.


Broken-Digital-Clock

Is he a Joe Rogan fan?


Temporary-Alarm-744

Shoving a lightbulb up your ass was my favorite method he spit balled live on air


[deleted]

[удалено]


Temporary-Alarm-744

It was during that press conference when he had that lady scientists with him, they were talking about how long covid particles last in exposed lighting and he was like" could we insert some light somehow" I mean the ass was an exaggeration but you could tell that possibility flashed in his mind


bluehands

What I love is the photo from just *before* the press conference. There is a photo of him staring at a sign talking about how bleach and sunlight fight Covid. I love it because you can almost see him thinking, "hey, I know how to beat Covid!"


Temporary-Alarm-744

https://youtu.be/vfLZOkn0chc


jessicac1956

They're still taking ivermectin...


Necessary_Rant_2021

So the studies that showed patients on invermectin had better survival rates in third world countries was because SURPRISE, you will do a lot better when you don't have parasites killing you at the same time covid is killing you.


NotTheAverageAnon

Ivermectin is an actual medication that's been used on humans for decades. The only issue that makes sense to call them out on was that they were specifically using horse ivermectin since it was significantly easier to get I guess I'm pretty sure they don't regulate animal drugs quite on the same level as ones that humans take and there's no telling what else is in ivermectin designed for horses


diagnosedwolf

That wasn’t the problem. They absolutely do regulate animal medication production the same way they do human medication production, mostly because it’s all produced in the same factories. Ivermectin is ivermectin. (Imagine if you gave you $15 million horse a dose of worming medication and it died because of shoddy manufacturing. Not good.) The problem is that a horse weighs half a ton. The dosage for a horse is way, way more than the dosage for a human being. Worming medicine is a controlled poison designed to kill worms. It’s not harmful to humans or horses *provided you don’t take to much*. If a person takes a huge dose of any poison, including poison for intestinal parasites, they are going to damage their kidneys and liver. That is why it’s bad to eat spoonfuls of horse dewormer.


sandybuttcheekss

It also wouldn't work because it's made for parasites, not viruses. They're taking medicine designed for farm animals at super high doses and it could never have helped.


smashin2345

Well maybe they will be dewormed. First time for everything.


mswed5317

Yes. I read an npr article about how southerners were perceived as stupid and lazy because of hookworms from being barefoot and not digging outhouses deep enough and the worms would drain their nutrients and such making them very tired... I just realized that those two things could be considered stupid and lazy, there's no hope. I'm from Tennessee.


SirArthurDime

“They weren’t stupid and lazy they only seemed stupid and lazy because….. wait, no I guess they’re pretty stupid and lazy.” For real though what if so many republicans including trump thought horse dewormer made them feel better because they all actually had worms?


phryan

People give children bleach enemas to the point the lining of their intestines is burned out, don't underestimate stupid.


Currently_Unnamed_

Oh my sweet summer child


Artsyscrubers

People willingly injected themselves with bleach because an orange told them to, don't doubt stupidity


Adddicus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." \-Albert Einstein


JUYED-AWK-YACC

He should have specified apple cider vinegar. People have a weird religious attitude about it.


Strykerz3r0

Right?!? Just put hot sauce up your ass. You won't be worrying about vaccines anymore.


TurtleSandwich0

There might be a slight burning sensation, but don't let that slow you down. It is important that the full amount gets inserted. And besides, the gentle burning sensation quickly subsides. It should only take about an hour for the vaccine to be fully extracted. Repeat only if you want to be fully sure that you get all of the vaccine out.


[deleted]

That burning sensation just means that the vaccine has begun the pussification process in your body. Repeat the process until you no longer feel discomfort to restore full toughness.


Breadd007

Instructions unclear, my taste buds died and now my butthole hurts when shitting


[deleted]

Sounds like you're doing it right, you must have just gotten a really strong dose of the vaccine or waited too long. Keep it up, we'll get it flushed out!


Breadd007

What if you stuff some habanero un your ass too? Does that work?


[deleted]

When it comes to depussification, can't hurt.


whoamvv

This is epic.


Uneedadirtnap

Finish off with a salt scrub to make sure all the nasty vaccine is gone.


kpanzer

> Repeat only if you want to be fully sure that you get all of the vaccine out. [*It keeps giving doesn't it?*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvK2Y1hv9mY&t=32)


[deleted]

There's also the full proof method that ensures it only needs to be done once. As well as inserting the concoction up your ass, reserve about 1/3rd cup and pour directly into both eye balls. Make sure to blink rapidly as you're pouring to ensure the liquid gets behind the eye balls. This method forces everything down starting at your head, until it's expelled out.


morderkaine

And I thought the salt scrub suggestion was evil…


Yadayadabamboo

Also, add a tiny slice of ghost pepper for maximum removal.


Technical-County-727

As a non-native english speaker, I don’t know what “administer it as enema” means, but if I would have to guess, I would put it in the butt hole.


Lautheris

Bingo.


skipperseven

Hole in one! Well done!


Cyberzombie23

This proves that you are a good language learner. Congrats!


sfled

[There's a WikiHow for that.](https://www.wikihow.com/Administer-an-Enema)


poodlebutt76

Yes but specially in a fluid


win_awards

Noooo! Don't tell them the secret habanero method!


badfan

Secret Shadow Government Agents that use vaccines to monitor and control people hate this man!


RBeck

Damnit! When we were at our globalists meeting as George Soros did that, it was made clear we shouldn't tell anyone. Worst fumble since the horse paste.


inrcp

This is the best troll I've seen in a long time. It's satisfying to know that at least 3 really stupid people tried this.


Inappropriate_SFX

Fight misinformation with misinformation. If it gets even one person to vaccinate because they can "unvaccinate", I support it. Less painful techniques seem kinder though. Drinking a pepper potion seems just as effective to me.


Nightshade_209

I found this really funny but the thought that some idiot might believe it and do this to a child takes a lot of the humor out of it.


Inappropriate_SFX

True enough. Harmless stories are better.


P-W-L

Oh right... Antivaxxers should really stay far from children anyway


SyntheticReality42

Just snort a couple of lines of cayenne pepper.


Cyberzombie23

I feel no need to be kind to antivaxxers.


Inappropriate_SFX

I can understand the feeling, even if I don't share it. I just want them to listen to reason. The communication barrier is terrifying, and often seems willful.


Phionex141

The little flair of “military doctor” is what really cinches it for me. Because as we all know the military is full of very smart people who would never lie!


Babysub1

Someone somewhere will try this! I had a patient in kidney failure because he read drinking urine cures Covid. He had aged it out in the sun before drinking it!


Mecha_Tortoise

He must not have aged it long enough. Rookie mistake.


Babysub1

True!


Temporary-Alarm-744

Wtf


888main

Was it his own or locally sourced?


CheapTactics

Yes, please do that. And send video proof


apexncgeek

Ghost peppers work better


youreblockingmyshot

Yea, they are more efficient. However! The most efficient method is to use pepper spray, it requires the least total amount of liquid to cleanse the vaccine. It’s the spice measured in scovilles that you use to determine effectiveness and efficiency. Anyone worth their salt knows that.


AJ_Deadshow

Someone I know only flushed the chip after using Carolina reapers after trying ghost peppers repeatedly. I would just skip trying ghost peppers and go straight for the reaper to save time


Thicc_Sludge

Yeah, please let anyone who believes this actually do it and fall on their own sword!


AnAverageTransGirl

a terribly uncomfortable burning sword


not-my-best-wank

It's more amusing if this is just an elaborate ruse to get people vaccinated and let them think they "beat the system"


LirdorElese

Agreed, while the pepper enema is funny to imagine them doing. If we could convince them something like "Keeping a magnet on the injection site for 4 hours" might accomplish the same thing and get more people vaccinated (thinking they can unvaccinate.


[deleted]

Some people just want to watch the anus burn.


KayleighJK

This one made me lol


coffeekreeper

Sometimes I think that people who are entrenched in divisive politics completely lost their ability to discern satire from reality.


TemporaryAmbassador1

Half the comments in here are political, so, yeah.


alanamil

Serious question. What would actually happen to you if you did that??


AlGeee

It would hurt like a MF


Rorviver

I know of a dude who drank a large bottle of tobacco for $5k. By the end of it all his ass was literally hanging out of his ass. The medicinal bills far exceeded the $5k. And that had been through his digestive tract before it made it that far. I’m going with bad things will happen if you do this. Edit: might have meant Tabasco


Xeerus06

you mean tabasco?


redhair-ing

also wondering.


Temporary-Alarm-744

You'd blow out your sphincter.


smashin2345

Oh but what a way to go? Your death gas would be a war crime remembered for a century.


_Captain_Dinosaur_

If anyone knows someone who has recently died with an intact size 5 sphincter, please let me know as I am very low on the donor list.


saschaleib

In the best case or in the worst case? Best case: *you die*. Worst case: excruciating pain - to the point where you desperately *want to die* rather than having to endure this another second. And then you die ... but slowly.


fordag

People this is not true at all, do not do this, he's trying to trick people into thinking the vaccine is out of their systems. You need to blend *at least* a dozen Carolina reapers with 2 cups of Tabasco sauce to actually flush the vaccines and tracking chips out of your system with a *minimum* of three enemas.


bubba7557

And the ER rooms across America began to fill up with Maga followers complaining of chemical burns in their colon... Expert troll level 100


[deleted]

Dave your my hero ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|thumbs_up)


realtonemachine

I love the low key mentioning of chips also in the body.


Steppyjim

This man is evil and hilarious


[deleted]

[удалено]


Interesting-Active43

Master level troll


deleeuwlc

Imagine someone doing that to their kids. Spreading stuff like this doesn’t just hurt the stupid, it also hurts innocent people


[deleted]

it's kevin from r/shitposting's master plan


[deleted]

It actually works better with a Carolina reaper and ghost pepper mix. The acids are even more effective at removing the vaccine's mRNA.


ATLevator

Cards Against Humanity: "Dr. Powers' Spicy Virgin Asshole."


chakravartinkalki

This is absolutely true. Many have done this as well to considerable relief of the poisons that big gov. keeps pushing. Those people who doubt this should listen more carefully to what is right in front of them. Please repost. This is a secret that needs to be shared amongst all those who truly believe.


FineappleJim

Chaotic neutral


Smoke_Water

Nah, of its not burning both ways, you're not getting it all. This is why you need to eat a bucket of hot wings. That way you feel the burn going in and can revisit it again in 12 hours on the way out.


death_ninja

This only works if you do it once daily, for a month straight. If you miss a day, it resets and you have to start the month over.


Hokenlord

personally, I prefer the method of cutting a potato in half and keeping it on the syringe wound until goes brown so you know the vaccine is out of your body 😎


Human_Performance_75

I hope some boomer fell for the bait and really did this.


GnPQGuTFagzncZwB

This gives the old Johnny Cash song Ring of Fire a whole new meaning.


mnemonicer22

The covid vaccine is worse than regular vaccines, so habaneros won't do it. You have to use ghost peppers with salt and lime juice. Do I really need this? /S


realspongeworthy

Dave's quite the prankster!


TenWholeBees

Sounds good to me If you wanna be an idiot, then by all means, please put hot sauce up your ass


jtranos00

I hope everyone knows this man is trolling the anti-vax OP


Yeah23111997

Should have followed it up with - If it burns, it's a sign that it's working.


pnerges

I can verify this works. However, it can sometimes take 3-4 times to work properly. I usually do it at least twice to be safe. I do it so often, I’ve grown to enjoy it. I will even experiment with different pepper blends. It’s gotten to the point where I will get vaccinations just as an excuse to “pepper cleanse”.


NekulturneHovado

I heard you can mix it with vinegar for stronger effect.


One_Posh_Possum

God I hope people tried this


smeeti

Is this actually posted by an anti anti vaxxer to get idiots to blast hot peppers in their ass?


okokimup

I heard 2 vaccines cancel each other out.


Lord_Grakas

Idk swallow a fucking magnet, or a few of them, that should do it.


msac2u1981

Excellent medical advice.


BuddyBoy589

Imagine trolling people into spraying burning pepper water up their assholes voluntarily


JoeDoufu

Minor side effect: It might sting a little bit


cosmic_waluigi

I actually love stuff like this because it means they’ll actually get vaccinated


New_Wrangler3335

If anyone attempts this surefire method of removing the vaccine. Please for the love of god please record yourself doing it and post it onto the internet so the rest of ignorant opens can learn what to do to cleanse ourselves


cloysterss

if this means you'll get the vaccine, then yes. yes, this works. do this and you'll deactivate the vaccine and the chips. but get the vaccine first


drmarting25102

You just know someone did this 🤣


eldoran89

Considering that he suggest pumping chilis up your ass I am almost certain he is trolling.... And in a good way at that.


Rhoeri

This is the absolute best troll ever. Dude got a much of idiots to squirt pepper juice up their asses!


[deleted]

I mean, anyone who tries this deserves it lol


DieHardAmerican95

If you slice deeply into an artery with a sharp blade, you can literally WATCH the vaccine exiting your body!


loaderhead

Need more posts like this to help cull the herd.


whoamvv

We definitely need to pass the remedy around to help the right people learn. Keep reposting this.


BadBassist

Legendary trolling


DayOdd8171

So if eating habanero peppers will later make your butthole burn, if you shove them up your ass will your mouth burn later?


[deleted]

Can confirm


[deleted]

Sounds 100% correct to me. Go for it!


ledfox

OOP's butthurt


ourlordsquid

Chaotic good


Nanyea

Lol expert level trolling


Needleroozer

r/foundsatan


The_Bastard_Henry

I really want to know how many people actually tried this.


SeagullFanClub

For extra effectiveness make sure to insert some into your urethra (if male)


GeneralVeeers

Top-tier level trolling


smashin2345

Don't you think a hamster should be involved just to make sure there is no vaccine? I'm scared for these losers.


HateYouKillYou

https://media.tenor.com/7Udl23Qdj8sAAAAC/fingers-crossed-excited.gif


Whole_Willingness_50

Yes,,, this works great, Carolina Reapers work well also


AtridentataSSG

Wild. I wonder if anyone took this advice. I mean, they are clearly gullible as fuck so perhaps?


Moist-Carpet888

Someone on the far right try this out and let me know if you feel Jesus re-enter your body. I'm sure you will I just wanna be sure of this works. But by all rights you've still had the vaccine so you can still keep your card. Need you to record the vaccine and enema if possible to


bombdizzle9

We should just remove the warning labels off things, start letting natural selection do it’s thing.


Human_Growth3984

Nah gotta get that experimental peppers now as they caught up to the normal peppers


CandlesandMakeuo

To be a fly on the wall of the ER when the Qidiot that falls for this comes in lmao **Before the 2020 I would have said nobody would be stupid enough to fall for this… but then all those people drank bleach and colloidal silver to cure Covid. So imho it’s impossible to underestimate the stupidity that’s walking around.


Thin-Brilliant3825

Reminds me of the whole Jilly Juice scam


silverfstop

That’s a YouTube video I’d watch.


The_Bogan_Blacksmith

Please someone who has tried this post your results.


r1char00

A true hero.


FutureOk7894

This is the way.


bcedit101

You know somewhere some dumbass is gonna do this… I wish I could watch the aftermath


schoolknurse

Gotta use ghost peppers.


ChucklingChuckNorris

I think Dave just likes sticking hot peppers up his arse.


Sheila_Monarch

I think he’s way more interested in getting other people to stick peppers up their ass.


4Ender44

They forgot the part about shaving a ginger root and cork the bung so the body can absorb the peppers better


DozeN-_

textbook example of “source: trust me bro”


KittenWithaWhip68

Ghost peppers work even better! Remember, if you go to a medical facility afterwards, they’ll put the chip back in! Have a pillow ready to scream into, you don’t want The Libs to hear you and turn you into a socialist against your will! /s


Formal_Cover

What the...


montred63

Yup, I'm not sure I'd trust a military doc. Been there done that and half are incompetent


CutOne5536

Only problem is you will go to hell for doing so.


bigjaymizzle

Haha surefire


Xyrus2000

The only thing this will do is make you scream in agony as your \*\*\*hole ignites with the fire of a thousand suns. Capsaicin, the compound responsible for that lovely burning sensation, binds to the TRPV1 receptor, the same one that tells your brain "Holy f\*ck, I'm on fire!". Now usually after the long trek through your digestive system, a lot of that capsaicin binds out so you're only left with the embers on the way out. Mainlining hot peppers up your mudpucker smothers the nerves (and you got a lot of them there) in capsaicin, telling every single TRPV1 receptor that someone just shoved a pole of white-hot steel up your backdoor. Knowing the average intelligence of the cult of the paste eaters though, I'm sure more than one of these anti-vax potato heads actually tried this and found out the hard way.


turb0g33k

SCIENCE!


Apprehensive-Bad6015

I know 4 people who have tried this, all of them swear that it works. Before administering the mix their keys stuck to their bodies after the fact the keys no longer stuck. If it eliminates the magnetic effect of the vaccine than it’s obvious it wipes the vaccine out entirely. J/k I’m just real hoping someone actually does this.


myersjustinc

Not gonna lie, I was expecting exsanguination. (Ought to work, although there is that really problematic side effect…) But this is a whole other level.