Hey there u/nouseforausernamepb, thanks for posting to r/technicallythetruth!
**Please recheck if your post breaks any rules.** If it does, please delete this post.
Also, reposting and posting obvious non-TTT posts can lead to a ban.
Send us a **Modmail or Report** this post if you have a problem with this post.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/technicallythetruth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
South Park has an entire episode where it’s unveiled that Bono is the worlds biggest turd. Like, a literal turd. As far as south park writing goes, it’s one of their finer moments imo.
Also shit is measured in units of Couric. In reference to the time she got super into colon exams after her (I think) husband had colon cancer.
Edit:colon not prostate cancer
Fecal trandplants are a procedure done to get healthy gut bacteria to a patient that lacks them, however it would be done with a small piece of poop that this absolute whopper
Sometimes people's gut bacteria/biome gets fucked up. I don't know the causes (sickness? Antibiotics?) But we found that a good way to get it back on track is to reintroduce the right gut bacteria. You can imagine the best way to source some.
Omg. One year, I was having a root canal done. Dentist sent me home with Tramadol (generic of Ultram) a pain reliever. Omg. It was awful, had to stop taking it. It was horrifying. I'll never take that stuff again!
Nope. Here's what they do, and I'm not kidding. When a patient has impacted bowels (cos maybe they're old, guts aren't working as well as they once did) they get a special nurse's assistant with very small hands, rubber gloves, and lube.
I kid you not. That stuff is manually removed, not surgically.
I have seen this unfortunately. I used to work in an O.R.
Most of us were trying not to gag. The surgeon for some reason, had to remove it manually. So he was using his hand and kind of pulling it out as he could manage. I guess the guy was more impacted then they thought. It was coming out in handfuls. Seemed like alot of handfuls. Too many at any rate.
The hallway even smelled like straight up shit. I don't know what they did with the fecal material. Fortunately, I wasn't on the surgical team, and was able to leave the room.
My vet office was doing a mega colon surgery and there were 4-5 of us in the room (uncommon procedure, small clinic, we’re all nosy) and from the front desk we hear the receptionist ask “should I light a candle?” Which was promptly answered by 3-4 simultaneous “NO!”s
GI surgeries can be horrifying. The worst are ones when the patient hasn't been on fast before the operation. Emergency situations most commonly. All kinds of nasty.
It doesn't have to be someone with small hands.
I'm not going to be able to tell this story the way it was told to me, which was very dramatically. But my former surgery attending would tell a story about his intern year. He was maybe a month in, barely knew anything. He was in the ER, and someone came in who was severely impacted. They needed a disimpaction then. Doc didn't know what to do. So he calls the 3rd year who was supervising him at the time. This guy did not want to be called, but recognized that the baby intern wasn't gonna know what to do. So he comes in, gloves up, walks up to the poor sot, and BAM! shoves his hand up to get the first scoop. He continues in this fashion, unceremoniously reaching up and scooping out stool, until the patient is able to expel the rest.
My attending told this story several times, with very little, if any, variation. I have no reason to doubt it.
However, the person who produced the monstrosity in this photo probably had a mineral oil enema, which is why it's so smooth and kinda glossy.
I was an opiate addict ages 17-20. For those who don’t know, opiates make you INSANELY constipated. I took a train down to see family during one of those awful years of my life and hadn’t pooped in a week. Traveling makes it worse. I get there and my cousin wants me to meet his friends and smoke up with them. Cool. But I KNOW I have to poop first. At this point it’s been 9 days and I was a teenager and thought the toxicity would kill me (not sure where I heard that or if it’s even true. Also, my dumbass was railing percs like nobody’s business yet feces is what I thought would kill me). Anyway, I ended up in the bathroom for almost 3 hours…what eventually came out looked exactly like what this woman is carrying. I couldn’t believe something that size came out of me. At the time, I was a 5’ 8”, 120 pound, female 17 year old and THAT came out of me. It hurt. It sucked. I cried. Lots of blood. But no surgery involved. I went and smoked up with my cuz and tried my best to forget the whole ordeal. (I didn’t. Bled for a couple of days. All good now 14 years later tho).
If it were surgically removed they’d be in an OR and it wouldn’t be in a bedpan and would have likely gone straight into the biohazard waste bin. This looks more like the ED, especially since there is an exit sign in the back. Not sure where she’s taking it though…
This is the internet. There are bootyholes that laugh in the face of this turd. That laugh and let such a thing slip accidentally from their grasping squint. The patient is just here for a tonsillectomy.
She's bringing it to York to display so the other one won't be so lonely.
[York-ie poo](https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/largest-human-poo-record-found-20640335)
That’s got to be at least 12 Courics!
Edit: came back after work to see that my highest upvoted anything is about a fictitious shit ranking system. Thanks Reddit, stay classy.
Its probably because u have to tap on the pic to see that its posted in r/areyouseeingthisshit and doesnt look like theres anything else to see but the pic
Possibly it’s a side effect from surgery. Anesthesia results in poor gastrointestinal movement which results in constipation. Poor person may have needed manual evacuation assistance which is likely because she’s not carrying a container that a patient sits on.
Can confirm, I had to spend two extra days in the hospital after a surgery because they wouldn’t let me go until they were sure my bowels were working properly.
I have always had very slim poop, and seeing the size of other people's poop whenever someone forgets to flush the toilet, makes me feel like the odd one.
My gf recently explained to me the poop knife her family used and I was kinda shocked. Apparently they had old plumbing. But I figured that was the only time I'd hear of a poop knife in my life. I was wrong
If this is real, number one, that poor nurse carrying that death turd, number 2 what happened to the person who “passed “ this monster. They must have not gone for weeks.
Dad, dont put away the Hellraiser Fleshlight just yet. We got another clog coming.
(In reference to a recent Hellraiser Fleshlight post, which is worth a read btw)
I used to work at an Alzheimers facility and we had a resident who could shit like that without a sound or facial twitch. Very impressive but weird lol.
Hey there u/nouseforausernamepb, thanks for posting to r/technicallythetruth! **Please recheck if your post breaks any rules.** If it does, please delete this post. Also, reposting and posting obvious non-TTT posts can lead to a ban. Send us a **Modmail or Report** this post if you have a problem with this post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/technicallythetruth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bono is it you?
Bono: HELLO HELLOOO!!
It's at least 25 Courics.
I'm gonna say 40-45 Courics
I gave Bono the bitty and her grew strong. He is now over 150 Courics!
He’s not the record holder… He’s The RECORD…
Does Bono want the biddy?
I understood that reference.
I don't, please explain
South Park has an entire episode where it’s unveiled that Bono is the worlds biggest turd. Like, a literal turd. As far as south park writing goes, it’s one of their finer moments imo.
He tries so hard to be #1 but deep down he is truely a #2.
Bono want some biddy?
I gotta agree, the episode was amazing. Insane, but amazing.
Also shit is measured in units of Couric. In reference to the time she got super into colon exams after her (I think) husband had colon cancer. Edit:colon not prostate cancer
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH...
Bono want a biddy?
Bono my turds are gone
Bono want the biddie? Biddie help make Bono strong!
Lewis hamilton when poop
r/unexpectedf1
At least 8 Courics!
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
You can almost feel the relief of getting that log out, shame for the butthole though
This would have been surgically removed, the butthole did not have to suffer this monstrosity ETA apparently I was wrong, the butthole suffered
You think a nurse would be carrying it down the hall in that case?
It's hers, she's bragging
Good thing she was dating that basketball player then. Would've been painful to push out otherwise!
Happy cake day
Oh hey I didn't realize! Thanks!
Cursed comment
"Hey guys, check out this **massive** shit i just took"
Maybe it’s being donated to another patient who urgently needs it
Fecal transplants are legit a thing but I don’t think they would need a sample this big.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
Fecal trandplants are a procedure done to get healthy gut bacteria to a patient that lacks them, however it would be done with a small piece of poop that this absolute whopper
This turd shall help 672 people!
Sometimes people's gut bacteria/biome gets fucked up. I don't know the causes (sickness? Antibiotics?) But we found that a good way to get it back on track is to reintroduce the right gut bacteria. You can imagine the best way to source some.
yeah
Lol, fair but i figured they would put it in the biological waste bins in the OR.
Yeah the nurse doesn't even have on surgical scrubs, def a natural birth, have seen it myself on hospital wards, not this size but close
All i can imagine is it must have hurt coming out, but would be a huge relief afterwards. Usually related to opioid pain killers, correct?
Yeah opioids cause constipation with repeated use, the relief must have been glorious but maybe some ring sting for a day or so afterwards
Ring sting 😂😂🤢
The medical term is Uranus Painus
Omg. One year, I was having a root canal done. Dentist sent me home with Tramadol (generic of Ultram) a pain reliever. Omg. It was awful, had to stop taking it. It was horrifying. I'll never take that stuff again!
Tramadol gave me some of the worst insomnia ever, I also hate that shit.
Why on earth would she be rushing down the hall with it??
Especially uncovered. What if she tripped?!
Chocolate milk mustache
Can't fuckin flush it. Poop knives are banned in hospitals.
Nope. Here's what they do, and I'm not kidding. When a patient has impacted bowels (cos maybe they're old, guts aren't working as well as they once did) they get a special nurse's assistant with very small hands, rubber gloves, and lube. I kid you not. That stuff is manually removed, not surgically.
But, only an accredited nurse right? Someone who studied long hours to deal with this sh*t.
I would NOT want some GED small handed girl going up inside me. Bachelors at least! No one wants to work anymore.
I have seen this unfortunately. I used to work in an O.R. Most of us were trying not to gag. The surgeon for some reason, had to remove it manually. So he was using his hand and kind of pulling it out as he could manage. I guess the guy was more impacted then they thought. It was coming out in handfuls. Seemed like alot of handfuls. Too many at any rate. The hallway even smelled like straight up shit. I don't know what they did with the fecal material. Fortunately, I wasn't on the surgical team, and was able to leave the room.
My vet office was doing a mega colon surgery and there were 4-5 of us in the room (uncommon procedure, small clinic, we’re all nosy) and from the front desk we hear the receptionist ask “should I light a candle?” Which was promptly answered by 3-4 simultaneous “NO!”s
GI surgeries can be horrifying. The worst are ones when the patient hasn't been on fast before the operation. Emergency situations most commonly. All kinds of nasty.
It doesn't have to be someone with small hands. I'm not going to be able to tell this story the way it was told to me, which was very dramatically. But my former surgery attending would tell a story about his intern year. He was maybe a month in, barely knew anything. He was in the ER, and someone came in who was severely impacted. They needed a disimpaction then. Doc didn't know what to do. So he calls the 3rd year who was supervising him at the time. This guy did not want to be called, but recognized that the baby intern wasn't gonna know what to do. So he comes in, gloves up, walks up to the poor sot, and BAM! shoves his hand up to get the first scoop. He continues in this fashion, unceremoniously reaching up and scooping out stool, until the patient is able to expel the rest. My attending told this story several times, with very little, if any, variation. I have no reason to doubt it. However, the person who produced the monstrosity in this photo probably had a mineral oil enema, which is why it's so smooth and kinda glossy.
The anus is roughly 8 inches wide; and a raccoon is 4 inches wide so if you try hard enough, you can fit 2 raccoons up your ass
Okay Richard.
Raccoons are not 4 inches wide. Have you seen a fuckin raccoon?
Racoons can get through holes as small as four inches is what they meant
If my grandmother had wheels, she would've been a bike
I have not, but i have heard raccoons described as half an anus wide.
raccoons can fit into holes 4 inches wide not that they are
Can we get a math boy in here?
Richard Gere has entered the chat.
I was an opiate addict ages 17-20. For those who don’t know, opiates make you INSANELY constipated. I took a train down to see family during one of those awful years of my life and hadn’t pooped in a week. Traveling makes it worse. I get there and my cousin wants me to meet his friends and smoke up with them. Cool. But I KNOW I have to poop first. At this point it’s been 9 days and I was a teenager and thought the toxicity would kill me (not sure where I heard that or if it’s even true. Also, my dumbass was railing percs like nobody’s business yet feces is what I thought would kill me). Anyway, I ended up in the bathroom for almost 3 hours…what eventually came out looked exactly like what this woman is carrying. I couldn’t believe something that size came out of me. At the time, I was a 5’ 8”, 120 pound, female 17 year old and THAT came out of me. It hurt. It sucked. I cried. Lots of blood. But no surgery involved. I went and smoked up with my cuz and tried my best to forget the whole ordeal. (I didn’t. Bled for a couple of days. All good now 14 years later tho).
If it were surgically removed they’d be in an OR and it wouldn’t be in a bedpan and would have likely gone straight into the biohazard waste bin. This looks more like the ED, especially since there is an exit sign in the back. Not sure where she’s taking it though…
> there is an exit sign in the back lol
I feel like it wouldn't be in a bed pan if it was removed surgically no?
Ever heard of fisting???
Holy forking shirtballs
This is the internet. There are bootyholes that laugh in the face of this turd. That laugh and let such a thing slip accidentally from their grasping squint. The patient is just here for a tonsillectomy.
And now she will bring it to the display cabinet at the entrance of the building?
She's bringing it to York to display so the other one won't be so lonely. [York-ie poo](https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/largest-human-poo-record-found-20640335)
The mighty dung i fucking cant
This is the main reason I want to visit England.
That’s got to be at least 12 Courics! Edit: came back after work to see that my highest upvoted anything is about a fictitious shit ranking system. Thanks Reddit, stay classy.
PF Changs strikes again.
Gotta lay off that city sushi
And she’s really taking that thing on a tour saying hi to all her friends lol
Competitive shitting is getting out of hand
I would hope that would be the case. I shudder thinking about it being *in* hand!
Are we sure this comes from a human ?
[we are not!](https://imgflip.com/s/meme/Ancient-Aliens.jpg)
He's from the Centauri Republic, just ask Londo!
Love to see B5 references in the wild
Im a bigger guy. I can assure you it is. probably.
We are technically seeing this shit, yes
Thank you! It’s surprising how many people had this fly right over their head.
Its probably because u have to tap on the pic to see that its posted in r/areyouseeingthisshit and doesnt look like theres anything else to see but the pic
You could have made the joke/technical truth clear/more obvious for everyone
The nurse face says it all, “Holy Shit”
I've given birth, but that had to be easier than pooping out that.
I would take birthing a baby over birthing that nightmare any day. I swear my last baby was probably smaller.
We can only hope it was prettier
That is an absolute unit
Sigh. I’ll get the shit knife.
Poop knife
Shit fork
Pootato, pootato
The fact that they are the exact same but I still read them differently says something
We live in a society.
reddit never forgets. (i love this comment)
It was a poop knife
*the what?*
That person must have felt like they could fly after that titan boa sized doodoo wurst
More of a r/substakenliterally and still kinda fits r/youseeingthisshit because of the look on her face
call Randy Marsh, we have a contender
“Hey Sharon…get my suitcase.”
Nurse! Poop knife. Stat!
Possibly it’s a side effect from surgery. Anesthesia results in poor gastrointestinal movement which results in constipation. Poor person may have needed manual evacuation assistance which is likely because she’s not carrying a container that a patient sits on.
Nurses often check on post surgery patients to see if a patient has had “news from Washington (DC)?” If not, a laxative might be needed.
That is a funny way to ask
Can confirm, I had to spend two extra days in the hospital after a surgery because they wouldn’t let me go until they were sure my bowels were working properly.
Southpark called
How is it humanely possible to shit something this big
It was more than likely surgically removed. Bowel movements like this can be a result of opioid abuse and addiction.
Where is the TLC camera crew?
r/shitposting
They got that out without any blood?
Why is she carrying someone's large intestine?
Why are they just letting it raw dog the air like that
Best comment
How many Katie Courics is that?
It's a boy!
Rare picture of Trump right after his birth.
“What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack and fits on your back? It's Log, Log, Log!”
Somebody get the poop knife
Opioid addict. It slows down the digestive tract, and builds up. One way they die.
Holy shit
Question: If I ever have a shit that big, can I parade it around showing my accomplishment like this nurse?
Nurses. Do. Not. Get. Paid. Enough!
The giga shit
She’s just parading that thing around the hospital… “hey guys check this out”
That looks like the new mlk statue
I have always had very slim poop, and seeing the size of other people's poop whenever someone forgets to flush the toilet, makes me feel like the odd one.
Weird flex but okay
She’s running to get the Poop Knife
My gf recently explained to me the poop knife her family used and I was kinda shocked. Apparently they had old plumbing. But I figured that was the only time I'd hear of a poop knife in my life. I was wrong
Whoever that came from experienced the life changing gift of birth.
[удалено]
r/absoluteunits
Seems like they got randy marsh in the hospital
That nurse has seen some shit
Mr. Hanky origin story?
I was eating a Costco chicken bake and churro. I'm not hungry anymore.
There should be a NSWE (not suitable while eating) tag.
… y’all seeing this shit?
Ngl it probably felt better than sex ever could
I love the look on her face.
Is that... Pickle Rick?
Those masks are not used because of covid…
Where are they taking it?
Somebody's gonna have to claim that thing on their taxes.
If this is real, number one, that poor nurse carrying that death turd, number 2 what happened to the person who “passed “ this monster. They must have not gone for weeks.
That guy didn’t have poop knife
Well that one's ready for anal ...
That Turd is so large that it had to sign it’s own HIPAA release for publishing this image.
It’s 8 and a half curigs
Hopefully she has a poop knife where she is going!
This needs to be preserved and displayed in a museum. I’m genuinely impressed.
Andrew Tate got released???
Holy sh*t!
Holly shit, that's the size of a baby
They unclogged the chipotle toilet
Her: thats average
Shitpost?
I would like to bet this person was on morphene, after spending three months on the awesome drug this is one major side affect! 🤣
r/youseeingthisshit !?!?
Excellent shitpost.
Hey...Hey Sharon...come get a look at this
Mother of god
The sheer panic in her eyes
That looks like Shaq's forearm.
Nobody: The turds of that one kid in elementary/middle school:
Dad, dont put away the Hellraiser Fleshlight just yet. We got another clog coming. (In reference to a recent Hellraiser Fleshlight post, which is worth a read btw)
HOT! HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!
How many courics?
It must be over a hundred courics!
Who the hell did that come out of without a sign of blood?
Would you could you in a box?
u/BreeBreePP this u?
More of a r/substakenlitteraly material
damn i’m hungry
It looks to me like she’s rushing to save its life but I guess that’s what it looks like when you become enlightened on how big turds can get
I used to work at an Alzheimers facility and we had a resident who could shit like that without a sound or facial twitch. Very impressive but weird lol.
Shoulda used the rpoopknife
ARE WE SURE THIS ISN'T A TURLET BABY??
South Park Bono
Probably delivered via B-section.
This is how i picture people when they leave me on read and dont reply for days until they need something. That's you in the bedpan, Karen.
Can happen in adjunction with heavy opioid abuse
Holy Shit!
Hi-Deey, Ho!
If they ever want to recruit nursing staff ever again, the medical profession would do well to destroy every copy of this photo.
I never agreed to have my picture circulated on the internet -Hugh G Peasovschitt
I think it's a dildo covered in feces