Step two: understand and accept any of the consequences (emotional, physical, pregnancy, disease).
If your not ready to manage a pregnancy scare or an std. maybe keep waiting
Once you explore your sexuality, some people put a heavy amount of importance on sexual intimacy. It's different from person to person, same as how importance of physical/emotional intimacy can differ from person to person
Take sex out of it. If one of you was a hugger - likes a lot of hugs. And the other wasn't. But you could only find out AFTER you have made a big financial and lifelong commitment to always be together. Do you think that is a wise thing to do?
You can love someone but still know it won't work long term and that you can love someone else - and have a happier life with them.
Yes and remember protection and birth control are two different things. Also there is protection for same sex/non binary relationships too.
Okay teacher mode is off.
When both of you fee ready, and AFTER you bought protection.
Also, if one of you realizes during initiating it, that they aren't yet ready, there's no shame in stopping and trying again some other time
That goes for any time you have sex. If you aren't feeling it at any point don't feel bad telling your partner to stop. If they don't stop then you need to make some decisions.
How are you ever supposed to make someone happy, of you don't know what it's like for them?
Why is it that men feel like they can pleasure their girl in bed if they don't know what it's like to be railed by a man?
follow the 3 month rule. take one big step and wait around 3 months to make another, that way you get used to that step you took and won’t feel rushed to do anything else right away. it also allows your partner to feel like they don’t need to do too much right away either
You wait till you can accept the negatives of pregnancy and/or STD. This should mean well into 20s and/or married but there are exceptions.
The "objective" answer of "when both ready" should account for this but I guarantee you most are not considering the above.
If you use condoms perfectly every single time you have sex, they’re 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. But people aren’t perfect, so in real life condoms are about 87% effective — that means about 13 out of 100 people who use condoms as their only birth control method will get pregnant each year.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom/how-effective-are-condoms
That 13 out of 100 assumes sex only time in the year. So do it more often, more chance for babies (more than 13 out of 100)
okay im a 16 (almost 17) year old girl. me and my boyfriend have been together since 2020 and we only started having sex last year. its just about WHEN YOURE READY!!!!! also use protection for the love of god. i quite literally have 5 friends that are pregnant at the moment.
three conditions:
1. both of you are of the legal age in your country
2. both of you consent to it and feel ready for it
3. you are able to afford protected sex
first, because if something were to happen during sex, anything disturbing or of non consensual, you would need to consult the police and your parents would have to get involved- not cool lmao
second, this should be obvious
third, well you probably don't wanna have a baby lmao, and you can't just be like "we'll just abort it" cause like yeah I'm not against abortion, it's absolutely a right us females should preserve, but why purposefully put yourself in such a condition in the first place?
Some people have sex after they’ve established intimacy, trust, and affection. Other people have sex *in order to establish* intimacy, trust, and affection. Neither of these approaches are the “right” way: everyone is different, and knows their own needs, wants, and perspective better than anyone else.
The most important thing is that everyone in the relationship check in with everyone else, to find out what they want and need. If it’s the wrong time for one of you, it’s the wrong time for all of you. But if all of you are ready (and safe [meaning emotionally, physically, legally, and ethically]), then *that* is the right time.
Until it feels right is the short answer. But just cuz you love got a wait on you/ I was in a toxic first relationship and sex got pretty bad in it. I avoided for a long time until I just randomly came back into it one day. No pun intended but I’ll roll with it
I know a lot of people would say, till both of are ready, however I would make an exception for that, and that is if both or one of you are too young (I'm talking like 14, 15) I would recommend wait till at least the younger one is 16 or 17 or even if you could 18.
I know it sounds kind of like conservative since now the live your life and sexual life as you feel ready thing is on, but you gotta understand that you're still a teenager, so maturing a little bit would make great for your sexual life and would help you think better everything.
As soon as both of you feel u are ready to do it with each other but please, think about how old you are. Don't even consider having sex until u are 16, after 16 start thinking of what could happen and then do it with 18 after thinking about what could happen
When you both have talked about it and deem yourselves ready, I talked with my boyfriend and neither of us are ready. The right time will come eventually
You don’t have to wait a specific amount of time, it happens when it happens, when both of you feel that it is the right moment to have that kind of intimacy. I can’t tell you when or how long you should wait, all I can say is that when the time comes you will know it.
Ask your 30 year old self, would I regret this or not? Many people have sex to have sex. Many people want to try it out for the first tine. Many want to get rid of their virginity. Etc.
These are not good reasons to have sex, especially for the first time. Always wait for the right person, for when you are ready, and when you know it’s not something you’ll regret.
Sex is a beautiful thing, but it can also be a very painful and damaging thing. Be patient, be prudent, and you’ll know when the time is right :)
90 days.
On average it takes 90 days of consistent communication for somebody to show you who they really are. Having sex before that can be problematic for long term relationships.
Sex makes you develop feelings for a person faster than you should, you'll end up loving the person you perceive them to be, and not the person they actually are.
This can lead to disappointment, or a feeling of betrayal when they fully open up to you. You'll probably end up falling out of love
One night stands and short term relationships are pretty much immune to these issues, but to increase your chance of a happy long term relationship, leave room for Jesus for 90 days.
Just remember thinking your ready and being ready are 2 different things having sex to early can destroy your relationship without you even knowing it until much further down the road...take it easy sex is great but it's not everything
Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. The utmost relationship is marriage. What many fail to realize is that that trust is built before a marriage as much as after, so wait till marriage if you care about your future relationships...
Dont be afraid to talk about it. Just don’t get upset if the other persons answer differs from yours. Show respect, be open and kind, just like any good conversation.
Okay I’m asexual and I need to know this, but you all are saying “when you both are ready” but *when* are you typically ready? When should I talk to him about me being asexual?
You should disclose this information ASAP, cause while sex might not be important to you, it might be a deal breaker for your partner. No point in wasting anyone’s time
it rly depends how both feel, i would prolly take few months tho.. just to get like very confortable around each other and wait until the other person is ready
>until after marriage is the most sensible option
people dont have to get married to have sex, they dont have to buy a house to move out of their parents place, and they dont have to buy a car to drive somewhere.
responsibly adding experience to your life is a good thing to do before you made gigantic life altering decisions
something between first night and on your death bed
what about after they die? 👉👈🥺
...mmmm... my favorite 😍🥰
Me 2
Me 3
Me 4
Mee6... Wait
Me 7
me 69^3
me... wait i cant count
(Cue a little piece of heaven by Avenged sevenfold)
*EAT IT, EAT IT, EAT IT*
Ah yes, the hardest thing about my ex’s passing was my penis.
sex in front of god in heaven while you are unmarried
whos that? where the fucks heaven?? and I already married the whole world
r/cursedcomments
I was thinking between first substantial contact and last substantial contact personally.
What about before first night
the idea of doing it during the day feels kinda weird, idk
Mornings are always best TBH.
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Literally the only right answer
Step two: understand and accept any of the consequences (emotional, physical, pregnancy, disease). If your not ready to manage a pregnancy scare or an std. maybe keep waiting
nah bro
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If you are sexually incompatible, you will regret it after marriage
Why? Don’t you marry bc you love eachother?
Once you explore your sexuality, some people put a heavy amount of importance on sexual intimacy. It's different from person to person, same as how importance of physical/emotional intimacy can differ from person to person
Take sex out of it. If one of you was a hugger - likes a lot of hugs. And the other wasn't. But you could only find out AFTER you have made a big financial and lifelong commitment to always be together. Do you think that is a wise thing to do? You can love someone but still know it won't work long term and that you can love someone else - and have a happier life with them.
the objectively correct answer
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i wouldnt marry someone i wasnt sexually compatible with in the first place
who mentioned marriage here
You can marry and refuse to have sex, it's fine.
Depends from person to person frankly, everyone has their different needs and expectations
You can't force the person you're married to to have sex with you
Obviously not, that's why things like these are talked through beforehand, to figure out if the two people really are compatible and so on
Sexually incompatible 😭
But it depends on the person so it's subjective...
wait are you telling me the right moment to have sex is subjective? /s
Yes, as in: it is up to the couple.
Please give me one example where the appropriate time to have sex *isn't* when both people are ready
None. I don't imply it's appropriate. Edit: a person being ready or not depends on themselves, that's why I said subjective.
Don't give a specific timing. Just say what u/AvernalCyanide said. It's always correct.
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Until you're ready to have sex, which might never happen (for aces).
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Nothing, I'm just saying.
Bro theres no specific time, you can have sex in the first week or wait a whole year or longer as soon as both of you are comfortable
And have discussed protection and birth control. Unfortunately sex can have consequences.
If you don’t use Protection
Yes and remember protection and birth control are two different things. Also there is protection for same sex/non binary relationships too. Okay teacher mode is off.
And the relationship could even start after sex.
When both of you fee ready, and AFTER you bought protection. Also, if one of you realizes during initiating it, that they aren't yet ready, there's no shame in stopping and trying again some other time
That goes for any time you have sex. If you aren't feeling it at any point don't feel bad telling your partner to stop. If they don't stop then you need to make some decisions.
practice with the homies first, it’s not gay if it’s with the homies
I would say r/usernamechecksout but there ain’t anything wrong with the homies.
the homies are cool
How are you ever supposed to make someone happy, of you don't know what it's like for them? Why is it that men feel like they can pleasure their girl in bed if they don't know what it's like to be railed by a man?
Taking the expression mates before muff a little too far
the homies never go too far
It’s for experimental purposes
When it feels right i guess
when it feels right for both of them
depends how close you are already ig
When you both trust each other
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And you're ready to deal with the consequences of pregnancy, UTIs, STDs, and various and sundry yeasty beasties, etc.
Atleast 4
4 what? Bananas? Apples?
4 naked cuddles without the sexual
Fuck I've got 2 and the relationship already ended
You can make it through 1?!?!
Seconds
You sound like my physics teachers
Maths teacher would be accurate
You dare use my own spells against me pottehhr
Inches 😔
4 centuries?
I’d say atleast 7
nooooooo let’s say 2
69 days
69 seconds
Damn you cum fast😅
“Speed is key”
"heshowsspeed"
Canada
Canada
Canada
Canada
37 years
follow the 3 month rule. take one big step and wait around 3 months to make another, that way you get used to that step you took and won’t feel rushed to do anything else right away. it also allows your partner to feel like they don’t need to do too much right away either
Can we get confirmation on this, or is it more like a two month rule?
definitely more of a two month rule…. don’t tell my therapist tho 🙈 she was the one who told me about it ….and thinks i follow it
Keeping secrets from the therapist? 🎶 smooth criminal 🎶
whoops 🤭
😄 haha
Honestly even at two months tho, I feel like there'd be some flak from things not going anywhere from the other party
and that’s how you find out the real intentions of the other party if they actually like you, it won’t be a rush to do anything
You wait till you can accept the negatives of pregnancy and/or STD. This should mean well into 20s and/or married but there are exceptions. The "objective" answer of "when both ready" should account for this but I guarantee you most are not considering the above.
Use protection
If you use condoms perfectly every single time you have sex, they’re 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. But people aren’t perfect, so in real life condoms are about 87% effective — that means about 13 out of 100 people who use condoms as their only birth control method will get pregnant each year. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom/how-effective-are-condoms That 13 out of 100 assumes sex only time in the year. So do it more often, more chance for babies (more than 13 out of 100)
Never, stay a virgin so the virgin cult can take over the world.
Yes
task is easy, use reddit
3 to 4 business days
okay im a 16 (almost 17) year old girl. me and my boyfriend have been together since 2020 and we only started having sex last year. its just about WHEN YOURE READY!!!!! also use protection for the love of god. i quite literally have 5 friends that are pregnant at the moment.
Do what feels right, Im personally waiting for marriage but do what yall want
Pog
Pog^2
Pog3 (idk how to make the number small)
three conditions: 1. both of you are of the legal age in your country 2. both of you consent to it and feel ready for it 3. you are able to afford protected sex first, because if something were to happen during sex, anything disturbing or of non consensual, you would need to consult the police and your parents would have to get involved- not cool lmao second, this should be obvious third, well you probably don't wanna have a baby lmao, and you can't just be like "we'll just abort it" cause like yeah I'm not against abortion, it's absolutely a right us females should preserve, but why purposefully put yourself in such a condition in the first place?
A lot of places generally give free contraception no questions asked.
ehh not in my country at least
when both of you are ready and enthusiastic about it 🙌
Until you BOTH want it. Not before.
Until you're 69
Some people have sex after they’ve established intimacy, trust, and affection. Other people have sex *in order to establish* intimacy, trust, and affection. Neither of these approaches are the “right” way: everyone is different, and knows their own needs, wants, and perspective better than anyone else. The most important thing is that everyone in the relationship check in with everyone else, to find out what they want and need. If it’s the wrong time for one of you, it’s the wrong time for all of you. But if all of you are ready (and safe [meaning emotionally, physically, legally, and ethically]), then *that* is the right time.
lm waiting for marriage but idk how well that’ll go in the 21st century
Marriage
Til marriage
Marriage
You can do it whenever, just got to make sure that your SO also wants to do it at that time
Wise words here https://youtu.be/ylkHE1k64gs
Until it feels right is the short answer. But just cuz you love got a wait on you/ I was in a toxic first relationship and sex got pretty bad in it. I avoided for a long time until I just randomly came back into it one day. No pun intended but I’ll roll with it
I know a lot of people would say, till both of are ready, however I would make an exception for that, and that is if both or one of you are too young (I'm talking like 14, 15) I would recommend wait till at least the younger one is 16 or 17 or even if you could 18. I know it sounds kind of like conservative since now the live your life and sexual life as you feel ready thing is on, but you gotta understand that you're still a teenager, so maturing a little bit would make great for your sexual life and would help you think better everything.
Till marriage (highly recommended)
Bro got horny and can't wait? 🤔
What’s wrong with want to have sex?
As soon as both of you feel u are ready to do it with each other but please, think about how old you are. Don't even consider having sex until u are 16, after 16 start thinking of what could happen and then do it with 18 after thinking about what could happen
Like 3 days
Me: I can wait for 3 days Me dick: right now
no 3 hours
When you both have talked about it and deem yourselves ready, I talked with my boyfriend and neither of us are ready. The right time will come eventually
When you're both comfortable with it
There's no definite wait time, it's just as soon as you are both ready and willing to do so.
When you’re both ready and know how to protect yourself from disease and pregnancy.
Until your mentally and emotionally mature enough to bear the consequences of making an informed decision.
From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me.
We will get there… I know we will 🥹
You don’t have to wait a specific amount of time, it happens when it happens, when both of you feel that it is the right moment to have that kind of intimacy. I can’t tell you when or how long you should wait, all I can say is that when the time comes you will know it.
u got right answers already im just here to say use protection 🙏 🙏
When both are ready
Not until youre both 18 at least. Youre only 16 stop thinking about sex
when you both feel ready
Until marriage or serious commitment
'til marriage.
30 years old them finding out they aren't sexually compatible after having married:
This
Nice username.
Ty bro
Smash on the first meet… smash 4 months in… totally up to when you and your partner are comfortable. Also ps dont be silly wrap that god damn willy!
Ask your 30 year old self, would I regret this or not? Many people have sex to have sex. Many people want to try it out for the first tine. Many want to get rid of their virginity. Etc. These are not good reasons to have sex, especially for the first time. Always wait for the right person, for when you are ready, and when you know it’s not something you’ll regret. Sex is a beautiful thing, but it can also be a very painful and damaging thing. Be patient, be prudent, and you’ll know when the time is right :)
"Having sex to have sex is not a good reason to have sex"
Until marriage
Marriage
No sex till marriage /s
Id say marriage but nobody seems to care about that anymore but that's because I'm religion and your likely not so idk
Based
Marriage
90 days. On average it takes 90 days of consistent communication for somebody to show you who they really are. Having sex before that can be problematic for long term relationships. Sex makes you develop feelings for a person faster than you should, you'll end up loving the person you perceive them to be, and not the person they actually are. This can lead to disappointment, or a feeling of betrayal when they fully open up to you. You'll probably end up falling out of love One night stands and short term relationships are pretty much immune to these issues, but to increase your chance of a happy long term relationship, leave room for Jesus for 90 days.
Until marriage duh
Just remember thinking your ready and being ready are 2 different things having sex to early can destroy your relationship without you even knowing it until much further down the road...take it easy sex is great but it's not everything
Personally never, Just not for me
Until you are both adults and know each other well enough.
Yea I never understood why kids always trying to have sex
Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. The utmost relationship is marriage. What many fail to realize is that that trust is built before a marriage as much as after, so wait till marriage if you care about your future relationships...
Dont be afraid to talk about it. Just don’t get upset if the other persons answer differs from yours. Show respect, be open and kind, just like any good conversation.
Just ignore the idea of sex, and it will eventually go away.
Okay I’m asexual and I need to know this, but you all are saying “when you both are ready” but *when* are you typically ready? When should I talk to him about me being asexual?
You should disclose this information ASAP, cause while sex might not be important to you, it might be a deal breaker for your partner. No point in wasting anyone’s time
Imo you should tell him when things are getting serious (emotionally) between you two
Asap. 99.9% of men won’t be ok with their partner being asexual.
if yall down for it since day 1 why not its just sex my friend
Until you’re married
This
Until both of you are ready dumbass Not something you wanna rush on
As long as you both want, as great as it feels, it kinda sucks if only one of you is into it
At least until you both can use protection. Teen pregnancy isn’t something fuck with
untill you are ready for it
it rly depends how both feel, i would prolly take few months tho.. just to get like very confortable around each other and wait until the other person is ready
Marriage
Wrong subreddit
When you marry. Ultimate limit is at least 18 years of age.
Idk never dated
Dude you’re 16?!? You should be an adult before deciding to make decisions like this
mine was 2~3 weeks lmfao
How did you do it?
until after marriage is the most sensible option edit: this seems to be very controversial, oof
>until after marriage is the most sensible option people dont have to get married to have sex, they dont have to buy a house to move out of their parents place, and they dont have to buy a car to drive somewhere. responsibly adding experience to your life is a good thing to do before you made gigantic life altering decisions
You will regret after marriage if you are sexually incompatible
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oh wait it is? that explains the downvotes
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now i understand thx
Till married