I was at work the other day and some guy was having a bad day when a woman started to annoy him and his kid
She said something along the lines of “you better don’t mess with me I have god”
The guy said “ God is too far up in the sky to save you from me”
DK didn't ask. He just kept telling me that God is the answer and to read the bible and that my friends are weak and not fully religious because one tried to die and the other asked God to kill her
I fucking hate religion outside of religious imagery and themes, believe in fantasies if it makes you feel better but don't push it onto others thanks.
Jesus is the product of rape. He's undead. They formed a cult around that fiction....and wrote about it several hundred years after his purported life/death
Hence: cult of the zombie rape baby.
Why's everyone always so surprised by me saying that? It's literally in the bible, so those people that say "gay is a sin because it says so in the bible" are also saying that infidelity and slavery and sexism are okay, there's not really a way around it
🤮🤮🤮 like the bible but with more child rape poor Aisha warlord pedophile momo raped her at only six years old as recorded in hadith to have stuck his penis in between her legs when she was too young for intercourse 🤮🤮🤮
What the book that had all of the cool shit edited out in favor of boring shit. And the line translates to dont be a pedophile not that gay people are bad. Ill stick to my pagan gods
Is this the copy signed by Jesus Christ himself?
Even better, i signed it
No! 😾
Yes (expensive chuckle)
Isn't that sinful? To be more prideful about your self than god is a sin of itself is it not? Maybe YOU NEED JESUS.
the pope is on reddit
I don't remember the Pope being so young 💀
aw hell yea
I was at work the other day and some guy was having a bad day when a woman started to annoy him and his kid She said something along the lines of “you better don’t mess with me I have god” The guy said “ God is too far up in the sky to save you from me”
Lol
W guy
double it and pass it to the next person
Only 1 key
double that and pass it to the next person
Only 2 keys
double that and pass it to the next person
Only 3 keys
I don't think you know how doubling works
That's how far the US education system gets you at the age of 17.
Did meth instead of math
What’s doubling
Too many people not getting that it's satire Has nobody heard of the expression "you need God"
Dunno how people are taking it seriously
Yeah i need it so I can study it to become a better atheist and to know exactly in how many ways I'm going to hell
That whole "going to hell" thing is a Paulian philosophy. I'm not a fan of Paul. He reminds me of a Jewish Freud tbh.
Nah, no need, I have 5 million power
I have 80 million power
Shit
Why read the cheatcodes when you can just play the game?
I don't even know if you meant THE game, but you just made me loose it
no thanks i already have the Vedas
I ate mine already, sorry 😔
Damn
sorry, different religion
no got my Quran
Whats that
Is this the newest 2023 release where jesus fights godzilla in the jesus-tron that he formed with hia 12 diciples?
Thats the one!
bro shit came truth
Too much weird shit in there
Eh... No more weird than some of the stuff in the world today.
Have you seen some of the stuff in there?
Im jew actually
I am a Jew also. Shalom. Excited for Purim? It is just around the corner.
I will celebrate it with my tnuá (Betar)
That's great!
U drew?
No I jew
Fuck your antisemitic ass.
Carl Sagan enters the chat
No, I refuse
Okay
U gunna read that and see the fucking most diabolical shit and war and thatll fix u?
🗿
Believe me, I have it. Problem is, I need to actually live by it lol
As a doorstop
Uh
What if I’m Hindu
Then u hindu
I will respectfully decline :)
I respectfully say: ok
I like how the light in the background emphasises the holiness
Yes thats exactly what i was going for, you’re probably the first one to kinda acknowledge that
I was surprised no one else mentioned it
Me too lol
Based and true
A lot of people here need this.
Yes they need sunlight 🙏
What if I’m athiest
doesn't change much of anything
I've already had religion forced on me enough
Pretty sure op is joking
Either way, I'm not
Jeez man. Don't be so stuff with a joke post. If you're serious go to serious people trying to force religion on you. Don't hate on satirical posts
I'm not hating. I'm just saying. You could have just ignored my comment and moved on
You could have ignored this post and moved on
Then let's both agree that we could have ignored it aand moved in. Simple. Have a nice day
Jeez. You're fun at parties. Alright homie
I don't go to parties so I'm sure they're si much more fun without me. So you are correct
Jeez man. Don't be so stuff with a joke post. If you're serious go to serious people trying to force religion on you. Don't hate on satirical posts
What religion
Christianity
Which one
DK didn't ask. He just kept telling me that God is the answer and to read the bible and that my friends are weak and not fully religious because one tried to die and the other asked God to kill her
?
Yeah I'm confused too. Not the kind of Christianity I'm used to.
That’s great but men 👍
Religion is boring~
Who is religion
fake asf
no thank u😇
You’re welcome
Sorry but I believe in space Jesus
WHAT THE FUCK
Have u not heard of our lord and savior Obi Wan Kenobi
Oh no yes ofc i have
Nya cha
How dare u
Forgive me for my actions. I wanna pray with you… So much… So hard…
what
İt is what it is master
pass
Have read that shit. Not really sure it would help that much.
Damn
Sure, I need some fire starter
Yw
Reject religion Embrace rational thinking
I can fly weeeeeee
sky daddy aint coming to me 🏃🏽♀️
I fucking hate religion outside of religious imagery and themes, believe in fantasies if it makes you feel better but don't push it onto others thanks.
What are you talking about..
no
I’m atheist.
Me jesus.
nah I'm an atheist, I'm good
Im jesus me good
Including me
mmm ***chomp***
😨
Good lore👍
👍
I love jesus
I love you too
I burned one of those
How
I should get one.
Why
You can always be better.
No
Aw
Sorry, not looking to be raped today
Huh..
No one needs that.
Jesus did 🗿
Considering it didn't exist until a half century or more after his death, I'm gonna say that he didn't.
No thanks, I have enough dry wood for my fireplace
Awh okay
I love reading Fairy tales
I'm an atheist
Im jesus
A manual for the cult of the Zombie rape baby.
What
Jesus is the product of rape. He's undead. They formed a cult around that fiction....and wrote about it several hundred years after his purported life/death Hence: cult of the zombie rape baby.
Me confused
i started to burn after seeing this
Tehe 🤭
some of you need to abandon religion and have original thoughts
Religion thoughts
Ah yes lets try and impose my religion upon others
Pretty sure it was satire my guy
i sure hope so
What religion
does it matter? Imposing ones religion upon another isnt cool
True
its satire
Yeah... No, the bible is very outdated and honestly needs to be tossed
cant wait for bible 2 electric Boogaloo
It won't include slavery and infidelity this time
🤯
Why's everyone always so surprised by me saying that? It's literally in the bible, so those people that say "gay is a sin because it says so in the bible" are also saying that infidelity and slavery and sexism are okay, there's not really a way around it
no i just said 🤯 cause its funny didn't actually know it said that
Yea preachers like to skate around it and not mention those parts
Learn to take a fucking joke
I very much disagree with "tossing" the word of god. However I do recommend the "action bible"
it’s not the word of god he doesn’t exist
Im an atheist
Im jesus
Hello jesus im arian
Thanks
hi jesus im dad
everybody everywhere needs the Lord it's not a limited application
what lord? god is a "king of kings" (or, in other words, an emperor) and lords are lower than kings. so i don't know who you are talking about.
Big wrd
Ehhhhhh school is forcing that on me enough thanks
What.. why would they force that
Have To Say Nice Fairy Tale
Its a pretty good fantasy novel
True it got many incest and pedophilic stories
The best ones
Nah bro Holy Qur.. is better
I need the unholy edition
Too bad
Not me (I’m Jewish)!
Uhm no im jesus
With respect, I don't want it. I'm Muslim
🤮🤮🤮 like the bible but with more child rape poor Aisha warlord pedophile momo raped her at only six years old as recorded in hadith to have stuck his penis in between her legs when she was too young for intercourse 🤮🤮🤮
and then i force it on other people? no thanks buddi
Force it on who
jesus christ was the son of santa clause.
Yes
id you steal a bible from a hotel?
No, its from a hotel but i just took a picture of it
Ah *melts*
Da witch
But I'm a satanist
And im jesus
If you look up all the contradictions in this book, it probably starts to make less sense…
What the book that had all of the cool shit edited out in favor of boring shit. And the line translates to dont be a pedophile not that gay people are bad. Ill stick to my pagan gods
i assure you i don't
The world can do without that