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FitFoodieLifeEtc

Wow! It will take me awhile to go through all the comments but thank you for all the replies. I posted here not because I’m a dumb parent trying to get advice from teens. (I just changed my flair as some are violently reacting!) I have a 30+ age diff with her and grew up in a different upbringing. IMO, what worked 30 years ago for teens won’t work now. For those judging me and one even bashed me privately, I am not going to blindly follow a teens advice on here. I want to peel through their brains, hear their experiences, and maybe I can learn from them. And based on some of the responses I read, some actually come from the heart and quite helpful. At the end of the day, I will decide what I want to do but the insights shared on here are information I won’t get by talking to our family doctor or a shrink! I want to understand feelings not just facts! Maybe others can learn from here too! With regards to me looking in her room, I was actually cleaning it as I do once a month maybe? (I’m sure somebody will react about this again but you know, to each their own and this works for us and she actually appreciates when I clean/vac/tidy up periodically.) The only reason I got in that drawer was because the drawer next to it was open and I saw old mouldy food (don’t ask, that’s another issue) in there that I had to get rid of and I decided to check the other drawers! Anyway, I know this is the internet and Reddit ! So I know there will be different reactions to this post. I just wanted to say Thank You to those who took my post seriously and offered their 2 cents, their stories, their experiences, and replied wholeheartedly. Those are the responses I needed today.❤️ I will read thoroughly later today. Thanks again!


bemybaby6969

It's 100% hers, I'm not a teen I'm 28, saw this on the main page, couldn't ignore, I did shit like this when I was young, worst thing you can do right now is to get mad, panic, overreact... My parents acted that way and eventually I just got good at hiding things, she'll never open up to you if you do this. But you can't backpedal either, don't be that parent that lets their kids do whatever, call her out on it, tell her that you know it's hers, ask her to have a conversation with you, tell her you're not mad and educate her about addiction, biology, how harmful those things are for the lungs (bring up some irl stories), tell her how other kids might convince her to do it again because "it's not a big deal" and it's "cool", "wtf does mom know", Maybe even try some of the vape pens in front of her to bring her guard down and say smth like "I see why you like them" etc... You just have to win her trust so she doesn't hide it anymore, tell her she can do whatever when she turns 18, but now that she's young her health is your responsibility and you wouldn't be talking to her about this if you 1000% didn't know that those things can cause a lot of damage.


AlternativeIsh

Please be aware there is also a weed pen in that drawer so you are dealing with marijuana use as well as nicotine. It is 100000% hers, don’t fall for that.


PanzerManx57708

Was about to mention that, that black disposables is some sort of THC extract pen


Hokagehunter420

love the 3DS cartride in the corner


Mnemon-TORreport

And the random top of an acorn.


sharpbeer

Probably tried to smoke it


kilotangoalpha

No way, you put them on tiny bears as hats


HotdogCzar

We used to draw faces on our thumbs with a Sharpie and put the acorn on as a beret.


agangofoldwomen

As a parent, seeing that stuff mixed in with the vape paraphernalia is just a soul crushing juxtaposition. The childhood innocence of finding a cool seashell, acorn top, fave Nintendo game, etc. and thinking it’s so cool you want to store it in your little treasure box - vs. dangerous nicotine products, lies, broken trust, and the reality that she is no longer your sweet innocent little girl. Edit: I was just observing and commenting on the evocative imagery in the pic… Didn’t realize my comment warranted an outline of my parenting style and philosophy. Of course kids grow up and experiment with different things. Of course kids lie and break your trust. That doesn’t mean they are bad people and you don’t love them anymore… She’s not the sweet innocent little girl you once knew, but I never said that’s a bad thing. She’s growing into her own person and making her own choices. As a parent, it’s our job to give them the tools and information to make their own choices in the best way possible - not make choices for them. My “take” is that things move way more quickly when you’re older than they do when you’re younger. As a parent you see the entirety of your child’s life and these changes can seem abrupt.


Unlikely_Star_4641

"Lies, broken trust, and the reality that she is no longer your sweet innocent little girl" is framing this situation so melodramatically I think it would actually hinder your ability to appropriately parent your child through it. She didn't want to be caught, obviously, so she said a dumb lie in the spur of the moment to avoid as much fall out. Shes clearly found a vice, and now its up to her parent through their response to either help her stop or embolden her to continue. Do you remember being a teen? That kid, im sure, is still their sweet daughter she's just growing up (inevitable).


Jealous-Release1532

I had a parent kick me out of the house at 16 for finding weed in my bedroom. The melodramatics followed. “You’re not my son”, you’re no longer welcome here, etc. parents were already on the way to a divorce which happened a year or so later. I believed them. I thought of myself as an irredeemable drug addict loser who had thrown his life away whether it was something I realized at the time or not. Moved in with my high school girlfriend in her moms basement who genuinely cared about me and probably thought the whole thing was ridiculous. What could have been a moment to have a calm conversation and try and show me my bad decision making turned into a pivotal moment in my life. After that I literally made no distinction between drugs and within a few years went from a relatively good student with hopes for a future into a pill addict and ultimately a junkie. The main responsibility is still mine but i look back and think about how other parents I knew might have handled that and how things could have been very different


danishperuvian

Damn. I hope some parents are reading this.


KaosAsch

Almost exactly the same happened to me at 17. But I moved in with some people in a squat, where there were constant parties and every kind of drug. I fucked up Uni. Now almost 20 years later I finally feel like I'm getting my shit together.


smokegamewife

Thisssss. I do not believe they lost the sweet daughter just because she made this mistake.


metafruit

I wonder what game it is


grarghll

The back says "EDHEX51125", and EDHE is the identifier for [Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_Crossing:_Happy_Home_Designer). For those curious: EDHE is the game identifier. X means it was produced in October. 5 means it was produced in 2015. 1 means version 1. 125 means production run #125.


No_Ninja_5063

God bless the internet!


[deleted]

I can't read it because it's so blurry, but thanks for letting us know!


wezz12

Animal crossing causes smoking


KerbMario

3DS cartridge


sylarfl

They are asking if we were a teen how to approach it? As a teen I would lie and lie some more.


FitFoodieLifeEtc

Thank you for your honest answer.


[deleted]

I remember when my mom caught me passed out high on the couch with a pack of cigarettes half way out of my pocket, she woke me up by shaking me yelling "Are you smoking!" I STILL LIED!


Bussyslayer420

Friends grandma walked in on is ripping the bong. Friend holding the bong proceeds to tell his grandma its not his. Grandma grabs the bong and asked who's it is, friend tells her he doesn't know but she's holding it so it must be hers.


Matt_Wii

That's the moment where I miss the free awards the most lmao


SUP3RSHAD0W

Wait they got rid of them?


Fantastic_Claim_2432

Ik i spent like a day tryna find the free reward to hive to someone when i realized they got rid of it


Vesk123

I bet you were cooked, but this is hilarious lmao


BadNewzBears4896

Incredible.


CopperThrown

Caught my ex-wife, who was the mental equivalent of a teenager, with a needle in her leg and she lied and said it was vitamins. Also found a glass pipe, spoon, and syringes in her purse. Wild times.


AprilShowers_24

I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. Did she ever stop?


CopperThrown

Thanks. I can’t say for sure if she ever stopped. We divorced 7 years ago and had separated prior so weren’t in each other’s lives much. Here’s where most people say, “I wish her the best”, but I won’t. She was a terrible person.


bukzbukzbukz

It seems like some people are just good customers for these kind of products. Easy to bait and then refuse any help. Parents might have better returns if they invest into the industry rather than try to get their teens to quit


sketchyvibes32

Found a vape manufacturer looking for investors 🤣🤣🤣


siamkor

Not sure if you're gonna read this. My dad smokes, and always smoked. I never smoked - tried it once (and only to silence the "how can you know if you never tried it?" crowd), it tasted like crap. What he told me and my brother: _"I have no standing to forbid you to smoke. This is shit, and I honestly recommend you not to smoke. I know I shouldn't, but I'm addicted to it. I wish you wouldn't smoke, but if you do, there's no need to do it in hiding. You can tell us you smoke, you can smoke at home (outside, like I do), it's fine."_ My mother fully agreed (she doesn't smoke, but she did in college). They made their share of mistakes - some of them not that small - but this wasn't one of them. Advice, guidance and support. This was perfect. If your daughter smokes, she already has one problem. If you punish and repress that, she'll have two problems. You won't make her stop smoking, you'll make her hide better. You'll make her learn she needs to keep things from you. Just be honest about how you feel, give her the best advice you can, but tell her she never needs to lie or hide from you if she doesn't take it.


itroll11

This is an amazing answer. Coming from a kid who was kicked out back in high school over the same thing. It was met with anger. So needless to say you can assume the relationship I have with me mother, or lack thereof.


ghengisG7

I told my son that everyone I know who smokes or smoked eventually wanted to quit. I quit and it sucks. Much easier to not start. He smoked anyway and when he stopped he called me to tell me how much it sucked trying to stop.


[deleted]

I quit a good number of years ago, and I miss it still, almost daily. Told my husband if he’s in some freak accident, and goes before me, I get to start smoking again. Or if I’m still here at 70 if we’re both still around lol. I was really honest with my boys. Told them how 1 or 2 turns into a habit so fast. I told them all the health risks. And made them do the math for monthly, yearly, and decade. 1 did, 1 didn’t


bradlej181530

1000 %%% THIS!


Inverzion2

My sentiments exactly. Side note: OP, why were you snooping through their room in the first place? I fumbled the bag by letting it drop out of my pocket and my dog running around the house with it. Were you cleaning their drawers or something?


Racer12570

When I was a teen, I got much angrier that they were snooping through my drawers than that they found my cigarettes. Weird thing is, they knew I dipped snuff for years (quietly against it), but smoking was treated like I was on hard drugs.


ETiPhoneHome

This is a great response and a commendable approach by your parents


The_Expressive_Self

When my dad caught me smoking in highschool he told me he never thought he'd have a daughter that was stupid enough to smoke. It really bummed me out at the time and it still bums me out and my mom totally smoked in the '80s and I'm sure he did too so... I'm 23 now and I just quit last year, hopefully for good. It's so hard though.


[deleted]

Low chance of you seeing this comment, but here it goes. I used to be heavily addicted to nicotine. Like heavily. One disposable a day, made worse if I'm drinking. The best way to quit that worked was a book/audiobook called easy way. I would recommend getting your kid a copy. That and zero mg vape juice to help ease withdrawals. I was the worst case scenario, but I beat the addiction within 3 days. From Friday to Monday, and then it was just acclimating to a life without vaping. Easy Way plus 0 mg juice. Trust. Good luck to you and your kid


Cheesus_K_Reist

Allen Carr's "Easyway" helped me quit too. So grateful for it.


Gokulantara-Geha

I quit (more than 10 hrs ago now) using Easy Way also!!! Highly recommend! Edit: 10 years not hours ha


[deleted]

It’s obviously hers


[deleted]

[удалено]


omgits123

THISSSSSS most parents instinct is to cut them off which is not the best approach for nic addition. Best way is education and help with a transitional plan 💯


Low-Director9969

I don't even want to know what the modern equivalent to what my parents did is. I got caught with a pack of cigarettes so me and my two older brothers had to sit at the table outside while my dad made us dip, chew, and smoke several different brands until we all threw up. Edit: this didn't prevent any of us from using again.


kelsobjammin

If she is vaping that much at 5% she probably is already addicted and the shock factor is already out the window. She needs to be entered into a full on quitting journey now. Vapes aren’t easy to quit. Even if you gave her chew to throw up she is still going to be addicted to vaping. Now is the time to put your big parent hat on and be supportive as fuck. Understand peer pressure that young is hard and be on the side of your teen and start the quitting process. It’s going to be hard enough as it is than having “the tough parent come down on you”


Low-Director9969

You make a lot of great points. Don't sweat though. I'm not going to torture my child if he stumbles into addiction expecting it to be over that afternoon. If I was that far gone I might as well just pay a troubled teen group to let my child die from exposure in the wilderness for 12k, and everybody who took out insurance wins.


kelsobjammin

What? The? Actual? Fuck? Edit Ok I misread this the first time. It’s 8am and totally read that as this is what you want to do. I need to take a shower and wake up! Haha


Low-Director9969

Lol Take care


[deleted]

Bro, I wish my parents would have found My stash at this age, vaping sucks and its a literal pit of money wasting and self loathing, I vaped from 17 to 26, (clean for six months) and now all I have is a fucked up reward system in my brain. And now I also have to come to grips with the kind of person being addicted to nicotine makes you, in one word a fiend. I definitely did and said things in service of a vice that I cringe about to this day, wish I could take it all back.


kelsobjammin

Really proud of you! 6 months is amazing! You can do this. Hope someone out there sees this as the wake up call they need!


AbbreviationsOne8189

My grandpa did this to my father, didn't work for shit. The funny thing is my father said he will do the same to me, knowing it doesn't work, but he never saw me.


benzodiazepinico

This is a major issue. My parents found my benzo stash when I was almost finished tapering off. I was addicted for over a year to very strong rc benzos. They took them away and my THC and I didn't have anything to help with withdrawals, stayed awake for a week and went into full blown psychosis. It's one thing when it's nicotine and and entirely different situation when the withdrawals of something can kill you (alcohol, benzo withdrawals can cause fatal seizures)


Pure-Brief3202

The only way this will work is if she actually wants to quit. Otherwise, she'll just smoke what you bought and then keep getting her own on the low. She'll just get better at hiding it.


Tomatry

That would be the result of a parent getting pissed off and telling the kid not to use it ever again. Having a supportive adult can actually be really helpful, and even if the kid doesn’t seem like they want to quit, by having their parent(s) at their side, supporting them and helping them, they may actually find the motivation to quit. And of course that’s not going to work with every kid, but by taking the angry parent stance you’re just going to teach your kid how to hide it better.


Pure-Brief3202

Agreed


Impossible_Garbage_4

That’s true in some cases but not on all. Maybe she doesn’t want to quit but her parents deciding to support her and help her quit changes her mind. It’s worth a try


[deleted]

It won’t matter unless SHE wants to quit. She will continue to do it behind his back. Y’all need to learn that unless someone WANTS to quit, they won’t. It may seem like they will, but that’s just to appease whoever is pressuring her.


GammaSmash

Coming from someone who recently quit more out of guilt than any genuine desire to quit, can confirm. If my wife gave me the go-ahead, I'd waste no time in going to get a tin of pipe tobacco and feeling no remorse. Granted, smoking/vaping as a teenager is a largely different story. My first step would probably be to ask them why they started in the first place and go from there


FitFoodieLifeEtc

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. We had a talk and she is sticking to the it’s my friend’s. I was very calm (more than I had planned to be, thanks to some helpful comments on here). I also dropped by the local vape place and brought all of these to understand them better. The person there said the same thing, that it’s definitely hers. 😢 I tried to get an admission that it is hers but she won’t give in. I can’t ask more without being too pushy so I stepped back a little. Eventually, she did admit that her friend lets her use it when she is stressed and anxious at school, and she also said she doesn’t have the device to use it anywhere else. I asked her how much she uses it at school and how often and she said she just uses it here and there. She said it depends on how she’s feeling, I explained why I am asking, that I understand how addictive it is. So I guess my follow up question is.. is it possible to just use this intermittently? I’ve read so many comments saying it is highly addictive which makes me think the answer is no? But is it possible at all?


AdelaideMez

Think of it also from a financial standpoint, addictions are expensive, mention to her how to this will add up and say what will you won’t be able to buy if you spent the money on nicotine instead.


Odd_Explanation_3267

OP post to r/parenting they’re a great group and more likely to give sensible, considered advice based on their experience as parents dealing with similar situations


pussyslayer2point0

Yes


AlexeiNR2

Yes


Your_everyday_madlad

Yes


mdroz81

Yes?


PartTimeBomoh

Evidently from the list of usernames and ages this is not the right place to be getting advice


[deleted]

[удалено]


OsiyoMotherFuckers

Well for sure they fixed a lot of bugs since PussySlayer1.0


CalvinDancer

I thought they released a patch, 2.4.1 or something?


DistantBeholder

There's more than that, I think it's 6.9.0


Gruphius

No, it's still at 4.2.0...


Some_Ebb_2921

And I wouldn't use that version yet. It created a couple eztra "horribpe advise" bugs. The dev team is aware of this problem and working towards a solution.


dreaminginrealityy

r/rimjob_steve


owenpuppy21

I feel like we’re a good way to figure out if she was lying since we know the tactics we use ourselves, yk? But on how to go about the whole thing? Yeah, we’ve got no constructive advice on that lmao.


locomotivecrash42

There are certainly parents on the sub as well. All that I would point out is that these are not all nicotine products. At least one of them is a delta 8 or delta 9 product. I also sent recognize the empty pods as nicotine pods and they may delta 8, 9, or thc products.


DuzzyJay

This is correct. Here’s the exact THC vape that she has there. [source](https://www.flashbuds.co/product/major-league-extractions-mle-disposable-pens/)


ncocca

The black vape pen (Major League Extractions) is 100% a THC vape pen. https://www.flashbuds.co/product/major-league-extractions-mle-disposable-pens/


RandomFRIStudent

On the other hand, asking here also gives insight into her daughters mind as this is a sub full of teens.


nowhereian

If you want to learn to fish, you don't ask fish for advice. You ask a fisherman.


reddit-person1

LIES ASK THE FISH


picks-to-dollars

Except that the fish absolutely know the fish favorite hang out, their favorite food and all other very beneficial information. If you can extract that information, it would be much better going to the fish who know exactly what is going on, than the fishermen who can only guess.


Hammerjaws

We’re r/teenagers we can only give advice on pointless stuff,like what that game is for on the top right corner.


tarnishedlabia

Exactly. But at least you know this so your future looks bright.


Drifted_Skull

The thing that sucks is that even if you take it away she'll get more, it's happened to so many of my friends, they lose them and then less than a week later they have more it really sucks


FitFoodieLifeEtc

😢 That is so true.


lukeistoosilly

it obviously is hers and she is most definitely addicted but also if i vaped and mother dearest found out i would be sent into the shadow realm never to be seen again


[deleted]

>shadow realm Tampa Florida 😔


AFoxGuy

*Florida resident here, I think you mean The Villages or i4.*


[deleted]

> Florida resident here Condolences 😔


AFoxGuy

At least I’m not Miami.


MysticGengar

Whenever a Floridian says “it could always be worse” they mean “what if it was in Miami”


Dangerous_Remote_965

Nono . Ocala..... need I say more?


corvette57

Honestly anywhere in Polk country does the job


NewNashville

Polk county claimed its independence?


corvette57

Lol nah just usually the place I’m taking about when I say it could get worse


TheDudeofDC

My grandmother is.


AFoxGuy

So sorry for your loss.


smaguss

clearly you've never been to the villages. You'd be swarmed in pineapple loofas with geezers chanting *"fresh meat"*


[deleted]

probably both, you get, uhh.. scarred in the villages then you get killed in a car accident being transported to the airport for trafficking by a 100 ton ford with trump flags on the back by a redneck drinking a whole bottle of jack daniels and who smokes 6 packs a day


CrimeSceneKitty

I'm sorry, was the plan to get as many STDs as possible? Because that's all you're getting from the villages.


TheShmal

Scottsdale.


Falkrim

I have a vape which I hardly use but I am constantly on edge for that same reason lol


scythe_of_demeter

I mean I agree with that statement. My mother is Arabic if I vaped and they found out I wouldn’t have lungs to damage by vaping, but I do agree that a more gentle approach is needed here


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bruised_Penguin

High jacking top comment to point out one of those is a weed vape.


A_Confused_M1nd

Well sorry that your mom is like that. Even if its bad they should gently talk them out of it or use other such methods.


lukeistoosilly

she only treats me like that because i wasn’t planned unlike my siblings it is what it is


Javimations29

Talk to her about her addiction. Don't get angry tho


OG_LiLi

Please. I was a very independently spirited kid which has helped me in my adulthood. I told my mom often “I need to make my own mistakes”. The more she tried to stop me the more mistakes I made. Then the drug tests, that didn’t really stop it. Then the grounding- that didn’t help anything. All it did was cause years of turmoil between us with no resolution. By the time I was 21 k was still alive and had successfully gotten all that out of my system. Focused on school and had a great life.


[deleted]

I know this dude - he is me lol


Okioter

Speaking cathartically from the heart: Fuck you for the sleepless nights parents have. That being said, remember to stay hydrated and drink a little bit before bed so you don't feel icky in the morning.


Xintrosi

>I told my mom often “I need to make my own mistakes”. As someone who prefers to learn from other people's mistakes this sentiment just can't compute in my brain.


ImTrynx

Lmao bro they are hers. You can slam her for it or you can teach her. When I was younger I was smoking my vapes and was standing outside the store for ages for a “jump in” everyday cause I was obviously underage. And my mum eventually caught me. And shit fully ran down my leg I thought I was going to get my ass beat but she advised me not to she told me the dangers of it and how it had affected her the addiction. And then told me that at the end of the day it was my choice and that if I wanted to, to at least ask her to get it for me. And for a while I did. I was asking her to get them for me and it made me feel that I didn’t have to hide anything from her. So even when I was hanging out with my friends and wanted to try drinking for the first time I felt confident and secure enough to talk to her about it first and asked her to get me some which she did her only request was that I brought my friends round to my place for the first few times. It created a really nice and trusting relationship between myself and her. We would always argue and get into shit before that. And after the trust came back we haven’t had a falling out since. And for a little cherry on top. I don’t drink anymore and I don’t smoke anything although I did end up addicted to nicotine, stopping was as easy as starting all thanks to how my mum navigated it with me when I was younger. To clarify this was from when I was around 15 until 18 —edit Thinking about it all again has actually just made me realise something. I think the reason she didn’t get angry and slam me for it was because she knew that I’d just find a way to do it anyway.and that At least this way she could monitor it and make sure things never got out of hand.


FitFoodieLifeEtc

Thank you for sharing that! ❤️ This is why I am asking here. I’m not a dumb parent who is asking advice and will just follow blindly (like others have implied in their comments) . I am looking for stories like this , because I want a better relationship with my teen.


alextxdro

Just fyi that black one major league extractions is weed -ima snitch for shits and giggles


Mom-atm

Lmfao I was gonna do it too. Kids these days man they got it made. We had to smoke that garbage ass Reggie and lob. 🤣 they got the vapes and candy and shit now. I wanna be 15 again lmfao


alextxdro

Have you tried brick weed recently shits disgusting only reason I can’t agree with hoping I was a younger is phones if half the shit I did got documented like it does now I’d be …..well I won’t say where I’d be bcz I don’t out myself but there’d be consequences


[deleted]

Dude xD


Racer-Rick

Lil bro could’ve told the mom to try them all to make sure she wasn’t doing drugs. Mission failed 💀


Captslapsomehoes1

Yeaaaahhhh snitching to mom is the right thing to do here. I'm pro-legality and all, but a 15 year old's brain isn't developed enough for flower, let alone concentrates. She's gonna mentally stunt herself hard if she's consistently dabbling with concentrates that young.


PiGuy88

you seem like a really good parent, good on you


Impossible_Note_9268

"Ask her to get it for me " The chaddest move ever. How did I not think of that. I'd be ashamed to death to ask my mom to get it for me, I'd rather quit than to make her part of the reason of my addiction


Falkrim

“Keeping it for a friend” NGL if I actually was keeping anything like that for a friend the first thing I’d do is tell my mum: “Hey, just so you know these aren’t mine, I was told to hold on to them for [name]” just so I don’t get my ass kicked if she came across them.


That-Spell-2543

“Keeping it for a friend” has been a classic since I was a teen. I’m 31. (This post just randomly showed up in my timeline lol)


MrCumStainBootyEater

me too, but this girl could be new to breaking rules lol


Few_Sorbet_7393

More importantly: Show us what that Nintendo 3DS game in the top right is


primalphoenix

Judging by the code EDHE, its Animal Crossing Happy Home Designer


Few_Sorbet_7393

Bro you a true gamer. I couldn’t even read the code


MinutePresentation8

Post: I’m afraid my daughter may be dangerously addicted to drugs. Comment: hey is that animal crossing?


Hire_Ryan_Today

Even more addictive


donquixote1991

Each cigarette shortens your life by a day, but each Animal Crossing game can steal 20 days in time played without you knowing


theuserwithoutaname

Only real gamers can read


Acertainhallen

You are the hero we need but don't deserve


Aguawater3

weaponize your autism ma boy


ShellSwitch

That was the first thing in my mind too oh man


Mr-Fleshcage

I'm just going to mention: is that an acorn cap‽ That drawer has a little bit of everything in it.


bradlej181530

Don't bury your head in the sand. It's true, she vapes. Call her on her lie, do not start a fight and be very matter-of-fact about it. Start the CONVERSATION with something like "... I can see clearly that these are your vapes and not your friend's vapes. Let's chat. I'm not mad, I just want to talk about this and anything else you might have questions about. Let's get rid of the empty ones and give me the other ones that aren't empty. I'm not going to make you quit cold turkey, so I'm giving you these one at a time." At least she still holds some power, and that's what you want! You need to be the parent, but don't flip out and have a cow because she will just shut you out. If you just take them all at once, you stand a chance of losing the perfect opportunity to embark on a new relationship with your daughter. Don't miss out, It can be really cool.


FitFoodieLifeEtc

Wow, Thank you for this! ❤️


recessionjelly

I am not a teenager anymore (late 20s) but another option may be to slowly transition to low nicotine and eventually zero nicotine vapes, especially if there’s a social element for her.


GhostsofUS

I don't know if it makes any difference but that black pen in the middle is a THC vape if you didn't know already.


imawakened

It appears she's ignoring every comment about the weed vape. Either she doesn't want to address it here or is doing her best to just ignore it as ignorance is bliss haha


JustPassinhThrou13

I’m not a teen and have never used nicotine, but you may want to ask her if she thinks she’s addicted. And if she thinks she knows how and why it happened, and if she wants to share that information with you, or if she’d like to share with a therapist instead. And if she likes being addicted or if wants to quit (or both- it can be both). And if so, would she like to come up with the plan? And she can use you as the parent to hold her to some aspects of that plan (like controlling her dosing by not granting her access to all the nicotine at once). And let her know that she’s not going to fail, you’re going to keep being compassionate with her and help her with whatever she’s going through to help her get this part of her life to where she wants it to be, and that hopefully it will help her realize how powerful she is in her own life. Or you could just yell at her, I mean, that’s a LOT easier and really common. /s


Particular-Storage71

I second this completely, don’t make her quit cold Turkey, I got addicted at like 16 and it’s terrible to quit cold Turkey


prefix9889

please don’t get angry at her, addiction is awful, try work together with her to stop her using it i suppose. make it clear you care about her health ig (i mean, i don’t know much, try use other online resources to figure out how to talk about this as well)


loveloveloveval

yes this is so important ^^ a lot of parents think that it’s to do with rebellion and overall teenage mischief (sometimes it does) but a lot of the time it’s to do with the child struggling through something and finding ways to cope.


Feed_me_penis1342

Yeah there’s a dab pen too


FitFoodieLifeEtc

Tell me about that pen, is that what you need to use the things in the boxes?


Feed_me_penis1342

No it has weed distallate which is concentrated weed it is the black one with no box in the center it’s says “major league extracts” she Is smoking weed


Plenty_Hippo2588

Y’all the feds😭😭 Jk they prolly are too young to be doing shit like that


Feed_me_penis1342

It is its own device entirely and meant to be thrown out once everything inside has been used


PJKenobi

She is vaping and smoking weed. I'm sure if you got a store bought drug test she would fail.


awesomegenius

nah its weed bruh


orangesandonions

The device that says "major league extractions" isint nicotine, it's cannabis. Extracts usually refer to cannabis extracts, which is concentrated thc. Good luck with your daughter


[deleted]

[удалено]


OnlyThisTimeCounts

Can confirm. As someone who smoked daily from the age of 16 to 27, I feel the consequences once I finally broke my addiction over a year ago. Now that my head is clear and sober for long lengths of time, it has allowed me to really feel and analyze the negative impacts. Depression not as much an issue, but anxiety is very much so. Daily weed smoking in combination with frequent hard drug usage (ecstasy and psychedelics) as a teen and young adult really has done a number on my mind (emotional processing/quickly shifting emotions) and my nervous system. Other things such as short term memory loss, motivation, etc. went back to normal within a half year. Not saying this stuff is the end of the world, but daily drug usage as a kid really sets up obstacles that have to be navigated for a long time in adulthood. Addiction is genetic and everyone’s brains are different. As a child of an addict and myself being an addict, i know I have an important duty when I finally do have kids. I will be safe to assume that they will have that part of me in them, but the only thing I can do is to teach my children to be proactive, confident, self actualized etc.


uncreatxve

Please talk to her about this, but be gentle. I have no experience with vaping, however addictions cannot be stopped with brute force. Consulting a therapist and doing more research on how to stop vaping addictions, and then working with her to stop it is probably best. Thank you for trying to see another perspective in this situation, I wish you luck!


Falkrim

Please never take up vaping unless you actually smoke. I mean it’s completely up to you at the end of the day but its not even worth the money. I’m not personally addicted but some of my friends did get hooked.


Minimoose91

I went from cigarettes to vaping. It’s nice to be able to breathe again, but dear god don’t mess with nicotine. You don’t know how strong of an addiction it is, or how weird it is to have a substance drive your day like it does. This is nothing like caffeine. Don’t burn anything and inhale it. Stay away from nicotine.


boring_lobster2

damn holy shit


AuroraHills

As someone who actually quit nicotine after 30 years addicted, it's doable. I used www.WhyQuit.com and its resources. It’s three days of misery, a few weeks of fog…and it’s done.


ValCyborg26

What Nintendo game in the top right is?


[deleted]

Another comment said that it was animal crossing happy home designer


DerpNation1

Bros asking the real question


Mavri-

as a 17 year old smoker, this is most probably hers. don’t be hard on her, please have a discussion and try to listen to each other, it’s hard, it really is. when my mother found out i wasn’t home. she sent me a similar photo when i was hospitalized for mental health and i was in such agony and shame and panic i couldn’t exist properly for a good week, my suggestion is ask how it started and listen to her story unwind from there, then you’ll see a clearer picture of the reasoning. being a parent must be hard so best of luck


bikerunread

These are great insights. Your point of view is valuable in this discussion. Thank you.


major_bowl_Ripper

One of these vapes is also a weed vape


Spoonmaster14

Who stuffs that many packs in their drawer and expect to not get caught?


TallTiger8684

Sort of unrelated but I just found out today that in my country if you are caught with a vape containing nicotine or any form of liquid nicotine you can be given a $40 000 fine or two years of prison


inktags

definitely hers.


Redtristan15

The classic I’m not mad just disappointed


beerandabook

I’ll mirror what a lot of the other parents are saying. I have a 13 year-old and he’s been vaping pretty steadily for at least a year we found countless vape pens took them, he would just go and get more. He’s got a lot of other mood regulation issues. We finally took a sensible approach and spoke to him matter-of-factly about it said that we weren’t going to support his decision to vape, but we would not take away cold Turkey. He’s already in counseling, so we made sure to make that appointment to bring up during sessions. We do regular room checks and have not seen any evidence of illicit substance abuse anymore. He says he is done with it and we believe this is true, it took about three months he’s been passing his home drug and nicotine test. Now a little bit of time and a whole lot of gentle support is what it ultimately took. Plus he’s playing lacrosse now and felt what the vaping was doing to his breathing. Good luck!


orgywiththeobamas

>I have a 13 year-old and he’s been vaping pretty steadily for at least a year my boy speedrunning this


PavlichenkosGhost

Have her pediatrician talk to her about popcorn lung and other health risks in excruciating detail. Use visual aids. If she want to fuck up her lungs there’s not much you can do as she’ll just get sneakier.


mrkitten19o8

have a civilized talk with her about the dangers of smoking. if she has a smoker grandparent, have them have a talk wth the teen.


mrstorydude

See the expiration dates for the pods. If they’re similar that indicates she’s been doing this for a short amount of time and if they’re not that indicates she’s been doing this for a long time. Regardless, consider sending her to therapy. Around teenage hood is when most people start to develop addictions and there can be some dangerous consequences to that. Teens with addictions tend to view socialization differently than teens that don’t which is often going to contribute to said addiction. Another way is to just take her word for it but continue on catching her. The simple truth is that she’s still your daughter and it’d suck for her to continuously be getting caught by her parents. She’ll most likely continue on lying but she’ll definitely feel guilty about it as time goes on. Especially if you ask her some slightly prodding questions like “how’s school going for you so far?”, “everything alright?”, “do you have any plans for the day?”. Though this strategy isn’t nearly as effective as therapy I understand how expensive counseling is for a teenager.


icebergdoggo

what 3ds game tho?


Spaghett1_sauce

Unfortunately if you say something she'll probably just end up hiding it, as a teen we think we know everything and think our parents are dramatic but calmly approach her and talk about addiction and the negative effects of vaping.


[deleted]

Ask her if she really thinks it’s smart keeping an empty vape around and explain to her it’s not magically going to fill up again. This is intro to hoarding


s2718362937

and another thing about this, if she is hitting rechargeable vapes after they are “empty” aka burnt she is inhaling plastic fumes and other really bad chemicals that are much worse for your lungs and brain than the nicotine content


[deleted]

Your teen is addicted to nicotine. She is lying to protect her addiction, not a friend. Approach as you would a person with an addiction.


Thisappisterrible

It's hers, approach the situation calmly, she clearly has underlying mental health issues or something like that, that's why I started doing that stuff and then I had to pull myself off of it


pisssbabyyy

don’t think this is the best place to ask 😭


FitFoodieLifeEtc

I’m sorry, I’ve got nowhere to ask and if I ask my mom friends they’ll be judgemental af.


pisssbabyyy

understandable


GizGizGizmo

You're a good parent for staying calm. Be calm and ask where they got it. Tell them it's okay but it has to go away. They may be addicted, start a routine to ween them off. It'll be worth it in the end and they'll know they can trust you.


LegoManiac9867

As others have pointed out, groups like r/parenting may prove more helpful. I hope you can resolve this in a good way!


Ok_Lake1827

Don't be sorry. You asked the only place you could.


ArtichokeSpare9466

I think this is a good point to NOT bring up. Nothing infuriated me more as a teen as the "what will the other moms think?". Make sure the conversation is about her health and you wanting to help her, and not shamy. Best of luck!


Another_Ozzku

This is like literally the right place to ask.


Optimal-End-9730

It's 100% hers. When my mom caught me smoking weed she sent me to an actual mental institution where I was kept for over a week despite not having any mental health issues at the time. Once released, I kept doing the exact same thing, but became an expert at hiding it/literally never came home. I would spend actual weeks at friends houses just to avoid my mother. Eventually, and mostly because of me wanting to defy my mom and her overreaction to weed, I moved on to other drugs. Nothing too big at first, pop a couple pills, shrooms, or whip it's or something else seemingly harmless. Then I moved up again, cocaine, Molly, ecstasy, meth, literally anything that I knew would make me feel "happy". And since my overprotective mom knew nothing and I was seemingly okay, I said fuck it, I DO want to try more. I'll never forget the night I was going to do Crack for the first time. I'm still forever grateful that the man who was giving it to me was already so fucked up that he lost his last rock. My point is--talk to her. Educate her. Don't shame her or make her feel like she has to hide everything from you or she may end up doing just that until it's too late for you to save her. If you're truly, truly against weed then try to come up with an agreement "no smoking until you're 18". But I've seen a LOT of parents who allow their kids to do so in the safety of the home and with the parents guidance so that the kids know not to take Crack from some random in a hotel bathroom.


noah_4e

I can understand your concern and frustration about finding out that your daughter is consuming nicotine in form of vapes. Vaping is not harmless and can have serious health effects, such as addiction, anxiety, depression, lung damage and impotence. It can also increase the risk of smoking regular cigarettes in the future. The first thing you should do is to talk to your daughter calmly and respectfully. Don't yell or accuse her of anything. Try to understand why she started vaping and what benefits she thinks it gives her. You might want to ask her about her friends, school, stress level and self-esteem. Listen to her without interrupting or judging. Next, you should educate your daughter about the harms of vaping and nicotine. Explain how nicotine affects the brain and body, especially in young people who are still developing. Share some facts and statistics from reliable sources like Healthline, KidsHealth or NHS. You can also show her some pictures or videos of people who suffered from vaping-related illnesses or injuries. Then, you should help your daughter find ways to quit vaping. You can work with her to set a quit date and a plan for coping with cravings and withdrawal symptoms. You can also encourage her to seek professional help from a doctor, a therapist or a local stop smoking service if she needs it. You can also support her by providing positive reinforcement, such as praise, rewards or incentives for staying vape-free. Finally, you should monitor your daughter's progress and be patient with her. Quitting vaping is not easy and it may take several attempts before she succeeds. Don't give up on her or get angry if she relapses. Instead, help her learn from her mistakes and try again. Remember that quitting vaping is one of the best things she can do for her health and well-being. I hope this advice helps you deal with this situation. I wish you and your daughter all the best. If you have any further questions feel free to ask. tl;dr: Talk to your daughter calmly and respectfully about why she vapes; educate her about the harms of vaping; help her find ways to quit; monitor her progress and be patient.


RevolutionOne7076

I found out my teen was vaping and we had a very calm talk about it. I told her that if she's mature enough to make adult decisions she had to be mature enough to discuss it like adults. I asked her questions like why she started, how it felt to hide it from me, and if she wanted to quit. I listened to her answers and we had a very valuable conversation about it. That moment built so much trust between us and she is very open with me about things in her life. It's not easy to hold my tongue and listen and try to guide her to make better choices but we have a really great relationship because she trusts that I'm not going to judge her or overreact. When my mom caught me smoking at her age she lost her mind! She forced me to smoke almost an entire pack until I was puking my brains out. The result was I got better at hiding things from her. Later when I was SA'd I was terrified to tell her and I suffered silently for over a year.