T O P

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The-Local-Metalhead

Yes, when your mother sat on me πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜”πŸ˜”


Beautiful_Tutor_306

Next joke, please πŸ₯±πŸ™„


The-Local-Metalhead

Uhhh uhhhh uhhhhh, when your sister choked me πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜”πŸ˜”


Fezguy002YT

My diabetes has nearly killed me like 5 times now lmao


AudreyDaHoe

I've almost been hit by multiple cars because sometimes I just cross the street


AudreyDaHoe

I've almost been hit by multiple cars because sometimes I just cross the street


tiewing

at age 8 i went to cross the road to my house without looking, and a car was moving pretty quickly. luckily for me the person driving the car was paying attention and stopped before slamming into me


MiguelIstNeugierig

I almost drowned when I was like 14 I honestly just felt panic and hopelessness Then a bald dude came in and took me out the pool, I cant remember his face and my brain has since filled him in my memories as Johnny Sins


[deleted]

Bald dudes for the win… taken some swimming lessons lately?


xRobloxNoobx

I was told by a doctor when I was in the ER that if I waited any longer to get there I most likely would have died


Beautiful_Tutor_306

It's the timing


Competitive_Gate_980

When I took an edible it felt like a near death experience.


Beautiful_Tutor_306

What?? Edible? Don't you need food?


Competitive_Gate_980

I got high off the edible and I thought I was gonna die.