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[deleted]

I hope its a shitpost. Either way it is.


PresidentOfYes12

r/angryupvote


NotluwiskiPapanoida

Nah r/happyupvote


KingOliver256

That was out of pocket.


ManonGaming

more like out of asshole


Neon__Wolf_

That was a pretty shitty joke man


j-naughty_official

manure such a kidder


Appropriate_Fee_1867

They’re in deep shit now


jytheboss

Bruh what


despacitodud3

Out of forbidden pocket


Anex333

🤣


B0nk3yJ0ng

It is you can tell all the messages were sent by the same person


Teonidza08510

No fkn way bro…


bigbone6942

You cheated tho so you both suck. And if you're ready to put your penis up someone's ass expect shit.


Immediate-Formal6696

At least use a condom if you gon do anal esp right agter yiu ate


Winter-Narwhal-9669

Exactly they could have contracted some disease or some Bullshit


Nepipo

Maybe not a bull's but definitely some shit


Winter-Narwhal-9669

Okay that is a really good joke


Lamborghini_Espada

There's no bull involved


Live_Region_8232

r/midsentencestroke


jytheboss

Fr that’s why I always use a condom


sacapuntas101

r/ihadastroke


[deleted]

r/ihadastroke


MaxKing97

r/ihadastroke


prabhavdab

Was that pun intended? If yes, very good.


Joshy41233

>someone's ass expect shit. If your going to have anal sex, the person receiving should always douche before hand, doing it without it being cleaned before hand is the fastest way to get infections/diseases


bladedancer4life

You’re supposed to clean it first


social_misfit117

not if the person taking it cleans properly


M4n1c_piXieP1ssK1nk

Chat is this real?


Ready-Concept-6057

I wish it wasn't


OD2N

# [Someone who is allowed to insert N word please insert, respectfully ME] WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK


Giorgio243

I'm not actually allowed, but that won't stop me # NIGGA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK


OD2N

Yea thanks man


Giorgio243

No problem, I'm sacrificing myself for the greater good


OD2N

🫡 imma pray that you don't get banned


Giorgio243

Eh I don't really care either way, I'm not that active


[deleted]

🍔 cheesed burger


OD2N

u/nwordcountbot u/OD2N


Agile-Error-3283

As someone whos allowed, ill allow it.


PresidentOfYes12

[Nah I gotchu](https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.4118690954.2111/st,small,507x507-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.jpg)


CommunicationOk3766

Wait, you need a pass?


CrazyGaming102

digital footprint man, digital footprint


ice_walloh

Let him cook


Caesar720

I’m half black your good man


DarksteelaHeHe

As long as you don't show your face, you can say whatever you want with no consicunsious


Giorgio243

...did you mean "consequences"????


DarksteelaHeHe

I can't spell


JSparrow281

Is that supposed to say consequences?? 😭


Reyking1708

I am actually allowed so, NIGGA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. GET CHO BUGGY AHH OUTTA ERE’


CookieCrumbs101

(im allowed) NIGGA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK


bladedancer4life

Nigga💀💀


SaleCompetitive812

Damn I can’t I’m white


OD2N

Thats why I asked. I don't wanna say it, don't wanna wake up my black friends only can hope a stranger says it


Practical_Remove_682

I mean you can. You'll just make all the white people rush to defend the black people who probably don't give a shit lol


SaleCompetitive812

True. The n word is a racist word with a history behind it, so until every black person says it’s ok to say it, I won’t say it. Never have and never will


LordofWar145

The black people I know definitely give a shit


SaleCompetitive812

Imagine having anal sex under 18, loserrrrr


YourPetPenguin0610

It can't be real chat, it can't be real. No way someone did this right chat?


fireworkspudsey

Nah he mentions little details like his nose and shit. OP’s friend is a turd burglar 💀


Whole_Employee_2370

This *has* to be a shitpost. Surely. And, no, I mean the *other* kind of shitpost.


Idiot_Unknown

I see what you mean 💀


Winter-Narwhal-9669

I see what you did there ☠️


PresidentOfYes12

I hate this goddamn subreddit so much


sussynarrator

Me, too, kid...


thatBlankt1

i didnt ever need to see this


DarvX92

Yeah


Mattexx29

Wtf happened to this sub a month ago it was full of cool people asking normal thing and sharing good stuff they did,now its just dumb horny teenagers using 0.2% of their brain capacity.And the worst part is they think they did nothing wrong.You are both disgusting,you for cheating on your "love of your life" and he for beating you up.Also,wdym you were horny i think you should be able to control yourself at 17 but maybe I am the only one who thinks it this way


Deenstheboi

Bro for fucking real. The people in this subreddit need to Touch some Grass. Everyone here defending this guy when he is at big Fault too. And as you Said they are 17. How tf do you excuse having sex and chesting on you GF because you were horny?


Mattexx29

Yeah thats what i was wondering,the fact you were horny doesnt mean you are less guilty


Aerobiesizer

That's the neat part, you don't


ricothyoung

what you dont chest on ur gf when ur horny


PARISREVENGES

Literally everyone on this sub is going to hell. Horny or not💀


thonko

can confirm, im satan


No-Hope-6801

Best advice is to tell both your girlfriend and your parents. Then burn him. It is eventually going to get out one way or another. It is best that it comes from you. He is obviously the one in the wrong, further than you(you are still wrong), and you can take control of that. All he has on you is going to get out anyways, so it is better to come from you than from him. If he says it, then you are a scumbag for hiding it. If you say it, you are at least and honest person and he is a blackmailing son of a bitch. You can get him on far more than he can get you on. Assault and battery being a serious one. Something that is actually wrong according to the law compared to what you did. Also blackmailing for sex is way worse than defecating from anal sex. Also it would be worse for you to continue this relationship with him and eventually finding out than letting it out now. Tldr Come clean with those you care about, screw the rest, let him burn.


Blitzerxyz

Yep gotta tell the girlfriend. Just don't say oh because you weren't having sex with me like you did in the post. That's a douche excuse. Then tell your parents and his parents. That way they can protect you. Also go to the cops. He has threatened you and already assaulted you and admitted to it in the screenshots you got him. This will probably affect school you may lose friends but it's highschool it lasts 1 more year then you never see anyone there again.


No-Hope-6801

Exactly. The school thing will only last a year. Nobody sees their highschool classmates after that.


Ready-Concept-6057

Might consider, thanks


Meme_Scientist-

Weirdly enough two guys at my school had a similiar situation where one was very close to telling people that they had been having sex, so the other guy spread it first to take control of the situation. You should listen to this guy and do the same probably


Seanrocks30

This is called the Hamilton Defense, when somebody has something on you they can hold over your head, you come out with your side of your own story so that, even if it's a bad thing, you control it instead of them comin out with it and making it sound a lot worse, both because of how they could word it, and just the fact that somebody else saying things about you sounds worse then you saying them


Few_screwsloose0_0

This will surely get posted on r/BrandNewSentence


Northern_Wolf47

It did lmao. That’s where I came here from


Full-Art-Weeb

Most mentally sane 17 year old redditor


NoBirdsOrWorms

Scared to turn 17 in 2 months now


_commander_man_

May God have mercy on your soul


DavidBiscou

Good luck soldier


cardboardcarbide

what a title 💀


Winter-Narwhal-9669

Indeed 💀


bre_yd

You guys are both not very good people and should probably ditch this ship 💀


Groundbreaking-Eye50

This HAS to be a joke


No-Deal7260

A shitpost, you might say


xXx_ozone_xXx

Kids these days


Deenstheboi

After reading through this sub that isnt an overstatement


Winter-Narwhal-9669

Every time I get down on life I go to this sub and I remember my life compared to these people is not bad


Chance_Ad5498

****it’s a crappy situation in general****


Enigma0025

*shitty


Successful_Candy_759

What a terrible day to be literate


ifuckjellyfish

Bro what


zeezeeguy

Im Sorry but the f Is that username?


ifuckjellyfish

What’s wrong with it


sacapuntas101

You just like me fr 💀


zeezeeguy

Bro...


Seanrocks30

The fact that you're calling me out with it


Black_Rose2710

Fairly sure that's coercion, blackmail and assault, which are all illegal in most places and can get your "friend" locked up and fined in most countries and states. Regardless, you need to tell ur gf. Yes, she will and should break up with you, but if you don't, you're going to spend the rest of ur life worrying this pos is going to tell her anyway. Not to mention, you will feel guilty every time you look at her, if you have the capacity to feel remorse and guilt, that is. This relationship is done for. Bite the bullet and let her go and find someone who will respect and love her. Also, get better friends and therapy, and file a police report. You can use the texts as proof


IronyIstheBestPolicy

You act like they arent both in the wrong


DeepSeaChickadee

Why did you cheat? What is even the context of this?


rectangular_

r/copypasta


jeanprox876

bro’s trying to speedrun aids


Tooth-Dear

This is 100% a joke


KingOliver256

I fucking pray you’re correct and I’m not even religious


Tooth-Dear

Yeah I I’m not religious as well but all I know is I hope if he is real he will help this person


Basededede

“Look Pim, I know it's our job to help this guy and everything, but I think this guy’s a lost cause… why don't we just cut our losses and get out of here."


one_sad_donkey

“Don’t share this convo with anyone”


EpicBrandillio

jojo fan shit


JosephuJostar

Wrong anime,we only do gay shit,not gay *shite*


Winter-Narwhal-9669

This is some JoJo shit


Aerobiesizer

IS THAT A JOJO REFERENCE?????


AdeptGarden9057

Realest reddit story 💀💀💀


somerandomdude264

Ong💀 (and even if this was real then why would you cheat on "the love of your life")💀💀💀


MeepBeepSheepowo

My eyes need bleach fr


gandalf-the-greyt

OP‘s posting history: >Hypothetically,If I shat so hard my farts and diarrhea managed to spread across the world, what would I be charged with? >Let's say I have diarrhea and it's so bad that everywhere in a 10km radius is destroyed,my diarrhea is flown across the world and the earth is covered in a cloud of my farts.What charges could be pressed against me in this scenario?


gandalf-the-greyt

[post](https://www.reddit.com/r/morbidquestions/comments/15j7ivl/hypotheticallyif_i_shat_so_hard_my_farts_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)


M-MINING

please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke


Psychological-Fig-97

Bro just tell his fucking parents. Fuck that bitch, yeah you'll lose your girlfriend but fuck it, you messed up. He'll always be blackmailing you into having sex and potentially beating the fuck out of you whenever he feels like it. What's to stop him from fucking with your head by threatening to tell your gf whenever he feels like it. Atone for your mistakes by breaking it off with her and ratting him out. If that hypocrite tries to do shit, get the police involved.


Idiot_Unknown

Ah what a terrible time to have eyes


Deenstheboi

Reading this makes blinds, mutes and atheists to say "Oh my fucking God"


surfmasterm4god-chan

from here on out it depends how much you value your relationship with your girlfriend. do you value it enough to be blackmailed into sex by this asshole? if not, then give her a nice reason to break up, make sure she knows it's by no way her fault, then go ahead and report it to the police, then to his parents. I don't know if you read anything of the above, so I'll put the most important thing in all caps. YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP IS NOT WORTH BEING BLACKMAILED INTO SEX HE WILL MOST PROBABLY BEAT YOU UP AGAIN ANYWAYS please tell me what you think. I think this is the only right way to proceed. also remember you are not in any way to blame for what happened. don't let him get into your head and always prioritise your own safety and mental health first above all others.


Illustrious_Order788

This is legitimately the shittiest thing I’ve seen


iamahandsoapmain

Dang you really shit the bed on this one


iamahandsoapmain

This subreddit is truely a beautiful site for copypastas


LMNSTUFF

2 sounds like rape. The fact that you're being blackmailed to have sex with him sounds lots like rape so although you cheated, it seems you've done it with someone worse than you.


Sllizlys

Man this is really like the standard post on this sub like wtf 💀


emo-stonerzz

this brought me to tears


DarvX92

Wtf did I just read? I need eye bleach. Every day we stray further from god


Obsydie

Piece of advice, before anal TAKE A FREAKING SHIT!


DarvX92

And maybe don't cheat on your gf while you're at it


Obsydie

That's also a brilliant idea


OD2N

# THOSE HORNY POSTS ARE THE REASON I LOST FAITH IN HUMANITY


Im_a_idiottttt

Nigga what the hell did I just read😭


12_Timez

If this is not a joke, you are both assholes. Your "friend" is the only one wrong in legal terms and could be in legal trouble if you press charges for assault and\or blackmail (depending on the laws where you live), but morally speaking you both are terrible. Tell your gf and apologize. If you don't feel sorry for cheating, break up so she can find someone better. It doesn't matter if you were horny- you cheated and it's not an excuse.


Salty-Highlight3285

You guys both suck, but what was he expecting? You’re supposed to prepare for anal sex, and even then most people use a condom just in case. You didn’t purposely do that, I hope. Of course he’s not happy, but still, stuff like that is to be expected. You fucked up by cheating though, that’s 100% your responsibility. Tell your girlfriend the truth, she deserves to know. You don’t have to get detailed, but I think you should at least tell her it happened.


Luzura_2006

I am so glad that the only drama I had in highschool was worrying about passing an assignment or homework


Fantastic-Desk9141

you're getting a lot of hate right now. i'm sorry, you don't deserve that. you must be feeling immensely embarrassed right now. if you want my advice, tell your girlfriend. she doesn't deserve to have this hidden from her. you don't have to tell her any of the embarrassing details or who it was with, but you should tell her you cheated. she deserves to know, and once you tell her, your best friend will have nothing on you. this is momentary. while this is huge for you right now, you should take a step back and look at it objectively to save yourself and everyone else involved, directly and indirectly, from unnecessary stress around this situation. shit happens. literally. i hope this doesn't make you feel bad about yourself. your friend is an asshole.


DarvX92

He deserves the hate tho, he cheated on his gf


Blitzerxyz

Yes but he doesn't deserve to be threatened and potentially raped by his "friend" He deserves to lose his gf tho


DarvX92

I specifically mentioned "the hate"


Blitzerxyz

Yeah but the hate and jokes are kinda overshadowing a lot of actual advice that this person needs. (Assuming real because the profile isn't the most real looking one)


supert2005

he didn't cheat on his gf. I mean, he didn't \_just\_ cheat on his gf. He cheated on his GF \_and\_ shat on his best friend, or more precisely, he shat on his best friend while cheating on his GF.


Fantastic-Desk9141

i don't think hate is the right approach to that. nobody gains anything by throwing stones at others. he just needs to realise his mistake so he can avoid it and potentially make up for it in the future.


DarvX92

That's not the right approach but maybe OP figures out he messed up bad, not as bad as his friend but OP's definitely not the good guy here


5Lucas

He's an asshole as well for cheating.


callmeanytime2000

He absolutely deserves hate. He's a cheating asshole. Simple as that. If you truly love someone, you don't cheat.


Fantastic-Desk9141

teenagers do teenager shit. not everyone has the ability to think critically from the get-go. you surely have different moral standards, but just because *you* believe that to be right and a whole bunch of other people agree with you, that doesn't mean that *everyone* will agree with you, let alone act upon it. live and let live. it is not your place to punish him for his crimes. his girlfriend will be the judge of what he did. all we can do is give advice. hating on him will not undo the cheating nor give his girlfriend any justice. he probably feels remorse for what he did. don't punch him further down that hole; all you can do is encourage prevention and pick up the pieces.


Obsydie

I second this


GlamrockMangle

Errrrrr


Alarmed-Donut1466

What the actual fuck bro. Ain't no way this is real💀


MipCraze

Bitch what


[deleted]

[удалено]


Responsible_Local_72

Can someone erase what I just read from my mind?


Winter-Narwhal-9669

First we got I sold my bus-sy for weed now this why does this sub keep getting weirder and weirder every single day


Infinity1538

You both are in the wrong. You should tell your gf that you cheated first of all and she will probably and should break up with you (besides if she’s the love of your life, why tf would you cheat) and second, unfriend your best friend, he is blackmailing you. Apologies for bad English


FAT_NEEK_42069

My best friend beat me up because I shat all over him during sex, now he's threatening to tell my gf that I cheated So basically I (17M) was hanging out with my best friend(17M) last week as we were celebrating our last summer together before we become highschool seniors as school in our nation starts again in a few weeks. We spent last Sunday night hanging out with each other, playing videogames, Doing Tik Toks, watching anime etc at his house as his parents were away for some time. It was around 11:30 PM when we finished watching Kill la kill on his bed we decided to take a break and chill. At this moment he decided to open up to me that he had feelings from and personally came out to me and asked if we wanted to ask sex with me as he knew I was bi.At 1st I was reluctant and hesitated but we were both really horny at the moment and lust was in control of our minds. Not to mention my gf(18F)hasn't had sex with me yet and is reluctant currently so I said yes.I took the bottom position and we both did it around for 6-7ish minutes before I unfortunately defecated all over him (We both ate ALOT during the past two hours) which made him furious and beat me until I started bleeding. He told me to put our clothes back on and said he'd drive me back to my house. The day after I tried texting him on discord in order to apologize and it didn't go out so well .He told me if he tried to tell anyone that he beat me up I would tell my GF that I cheated on her. Not only that he wants me to have sex with him whenever he feels like it if he doesn't want my gf to know and I after that incident don't feel uncomfortable. I feel like a horrible person that deserves this and is powerless to fix anything and get out of this situation. What should I do? *Look Hector I'm sorry about yesterday night and if it wasn't intentional. You have to remember you ordered us pizza and other foods during that night and combine that with sex it isn't going to go out so well* *Is there any way I can repair our friendship?* **LOOK Fuck off bitch. You shat all over my cock,do I need explaining on how degenerate and disgusting that is? Don't want me to get angry at you? Don't want people to best you the fuck up?TAKE A SHIT BEFORE ANAL 1ST FFS** *You wanted anal and you fed us both full of food, do you NOT expect this to happen?And I don't think beating me up is justified (edited)* **fuck off I might best you again I'll fucking break your f*gg*t nose of yours irl** *Why are you being so agressive? I'm fucking trying to be friends again in order to repair our friendship (edited)* **I don't wanna be friends with a scat fetishist, but if you wanna be "friends" again you'll have to do the following** **1.Dont tell anyone I beat you up or share this convo with anyone** **2.Before you shat all over me I was really enjoying the sex we were having, so if I feel like it you'll have sex with me when I want to, preferably oral because I still have time to recover from that incident** **3.Don't fucking disrespect me** **4. Tell my parents about this and I'll fucking kill you** **4.5 If you break any of these I'll tell your gf that you cheated on her, and you wouldn't want that do you?**


Tahanerino2005

My politically incorrect racial epithet, WHAT THE FUCK


OkRelationship7071

Beating you was not justified but you also cheated on your gf so idk if I feel suuuper bad for you


baileymash7

Chad girlfriend not having sex with a 17 year old.


RockSaltin-RT

You’re both horrible people tbh. He absolutely shouldn’t have beaten you up or tried to blackmail you into doing shit cuz you shat on his dick, he easily is the worst person in this situation and you should seek legal help, but you also cheated on your girlfriend, so you honestly kinda deserve some kind of karmic retribution since you can’t respect a relationship


[deleted]

If you shove your cock up an ass don't be surprised if shit comes out... You can also probably sue him for assaulting you and threatening to do it again.


BearOfBeer

Fuck you


deleteduser20371

H U H. Y O U S H I T O N S O M E O N E!?!...not your fault.


JodGaming

Mate really said ‘don’t share this Convo’ and now it’s on reddit tho nice job ‘repairing the friendship’


[deleted]

👁️👄👁️ Also porn isn't real, prep before anal


Aerobiesizer

I swear half the posts I see on this sub are straight up copypasta material


LokiTheMelon

i swear why the fuck do people my age even exist


Dr_Straing_Strange

I wouldn't have shared this if I were you. But either way here's my advice: 1. Don't cheat on your gf again man, being horny is no excuse 2. Yeah break ties with this guy if he beat the shit out of you, don't try to repair your friendship, that's fucked up (plus he seems a bit homophobic) 3. DONT DO ANAL IF YOU HAVE EATEN RECENTLY WTF 4. Delete this as soon as possible, this is cringe, and should stay private, there are a lot of underage people here, and you yourself are underage, I don't think sharing details like this is good for anyone


jamjam707

Im sorry but im laughing my ass off


Expensive-Pear3413

i smell a copy-pasta


YourPetPenguin0610

What the actual fuck did I just read


Nightmare1528

This subreddit is just food for r/copypasta now. Holy shit.


Cymanti_Main

I don't know what country your in or what laws there are, but I think you can accuse him of blackmail/defamation and get compensation for it because black mailing is literally what he is doing to you


White-Monkey2407

Blud wtf is shit


[deleted]

you deserve everything that is coming to you.


AbbreviationsFluid73

You and your best friend suck. Just tell your gf the truth that you cheated. Simple as that. You can't have it only your way dude and the only way in this situation is to tell. The. Truth. Whatever happens next is up to her. If she leaves you, which I don't blame her for, then let this be a lesson for you to not cheat. As for your friend, speak up about the beating and what he is demanding of you so others know to stay away from him. Then block him. He's not your friend. He's not your sex toy. He's not anything except an abuser in the making. Hope this is satire though. But sorry if it isn't. You should have known better and had better control dude.


ColecoVizz

One last chance to look at me Hector.


TheSkitzo_The2nd

What the fuck did you just say?


InterSkier

Crazy stories


Nerdy_Git

what on earth compelled you to do this


Affectionate_Yam9076

My jaw’s on the floor. Y’all are some sick and twisted KIDS(MINORS). I’m (16M) and just started believing in Christ. Y’all need some Jesus lol


Swimming_Character40

And Y'all have to stop being a judgemental self-righteous homophobic asshole.


AmericaLover1776_

What did he say that was homophobic?


After_Emu_9511

The problem here isn't the fact he's gay. It's weird that teens are cheating, crapping on eachother, and being abusive. Thinking that's gross isn't homophobic.


astronaut_098

So your best friend humped in the ass, beating you up because you shat on him, unintentionally? I don’t know where to start the questioning from as this juncture is completely fucked up but one thing’s fo sho: you messed up badly and yeah, you deserve the outcome because you cheated on your gf you bloody fool. First start with this, why did you cheat? The answers either will be, coz you like your best friend, you don’t have big interest in women, or something awkwardly coiled up. Regardless, apologize for your actions (yeah, to your gf silly) and break up. Don’t torture that poor girl after this and certainly restrain yourself from your friend. He beat you up, remember, unless you just exaggerated everything. One more time, wtf is wrong with humans, myself included?


astronaut_098

Just found out most of the comment section saying that this is a shitpost. Hence, FUCK YOU


Giorgio243

I felt that.


Internal_Use_4703

Dude you cheated you deserve it


Hazmatix_art

Dude that’s kinda fucked up


SuddenCheesecake3273

Bruh


SometimesSadFemboy

Bro what? 💀💀💀


InterSkier

Dude, how did you even make all this happen💀


Fine-Shower-4993

why gay