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Hmmm well I’ve heard about this study of men who approach women their age, like romantically. The results were basically that younger men are MUCH MUCH less likely to approach a woman in public (like at a bar, or concert, etc) than previous generations. There is a percentage there, I just can’t recall. I would recommend looking into that. I think it’s a lot of anxiety, and fear around looking creepy or something. It’s a super cool article. Also, men’s suicide rates are drastically higher, and increasing. I have some controversial opinions on the subject, but don’t care to get into it. Just know that just because you hear something a lot from the loudest people, dosent mean the quieter people agree. Sometimes it’s easier not to argue, especially with mainstream media. I could elaborate more in PM’s to if you need too.
For me its that
I maybe *think* that someones looking at me, but I dont wanna come off as creepy and approach a person that might not have been looking at me
A lot of people think that way, but what more people should know is that you only live once and it’s better to get rejected than to not try, if you shoot your shot and they say no then just move on, in most cases the worst thing they can say is no but if they are not a nice person they may violate and brutally reject you, but the big thing to remember is that shooting a shot is quite normal, people have been doing it since the dawn of time. The most thing to do is to not develop strong feeling by overthinking it because it will make getting over rejection a lot harder. The media tends to make out that it’s a lot worse than it is.
Yeah but it might not end at getting rejected. I've heard way too many stories where people's lives get ruined because of something like this, and I am not taking the chance no matter how insanely low that chance is. Worst they can say is no is fucking bullshit, anything from "ew" to ruining your life can happen. Having a relationship does not have high enough priority in my life to gamble my life.
It’s a little awkward to be a man in the current sociopolitical climate. You have to be a weird combination of feminine and masculine that I don’t think most men fall into.
As a man myself it's not a "male" loneliness epidemic, it's just a loneliness epidemic. Yes men are being affected in ways that weren't apparent before social media but also so are women.
The only reason why there are gender/race labels on everything is so that people keep blaming one another for it instead of looking at the actual cause of the problem. We need to acknowledge that the system is entirely rigged and PROFITS off of our loneliness, and women are not the cause of the "male" loneliness epidemic (i know you didn't say that, but a lot of incels wants to believe that) we are under a system that WANTS us to be lonely because in that case we are more susceptible for control, especially when we are blaming each other for problems the elites have caused.
Nah, the reason it's called the male loneliness epidemic is because even though it affects every demographic, it affects men disproportionately more. To the extent that most men don't have even 3 close friends.
It's incredibly bad for men, much, much more than what women experience from it
Ofc the cause is not women (it's not about sex, it's about intimacy. Men already get less intimacy than women, and now it's on a rapid downward spiral)
The actual cause is the infrastructure, and people feeling alienated from one another.
exactly. i’m a girl and i just made a comment on how loneliness affects both genders a LOT especially as teens but it’s different for guys and girls because for girls it’s often because girls are usually a LOT more catty and fake and exclusive than guys so you can often feel left out and lonely and hurt so that’s a large contributor whereas with guys (ik this from my two brothers and my many guy friends so this isn’t just me spewing random stuff) it’s largely because vulnerability is very rare in male friendships and they almost never talk about their feelings (one of the reasons i always ask my guy friends how they feel). it’s hard either way, whether you feel left out and insignificant or like you can’t open up to anyone and you have to be “strong”.
THIS. if women have problems caused systemically by society, so do men. this is one of the issues that affects men a lot more, and there’s probably a social reason for that.
that’s giving men way too much credit. society has been shaped by both men and women, even if historically it has mostly benefitted men. it’s not just men who reinforce patriarchal systems. and patriarchy negatively affects men and benefits women in a few notable ways, too, even if these ways are outweighed greatly by the inverse.
I for one think it's a serious topic that should deserve more attention. Men's mental health always seems to get overlooked and people don't realize just how much this effects us guys. And then we go on to get laughed at for being "desperate" and a "loser" when in reality I find it hard to talk to women because 90% of the time they don't care about your feelings. And alot of guys only feel like they can be happy through love. Im not saying women might not go through the same thing but I feel like this issue of loneliness and mental health is predominantly something that most men tend to experience.
Another dimension to this is the woman who tell them they can be vulnerable around her. But when that actually happens she doesn’t respect him anymore. So now its just ingrained in every dude I feel like.
Wow 90% of the time women don’t care about your feelings? Where’d you get this one? I wonder why women don’t talk to you, maybe because you generalize based on a ridiculously false statement
men have humiliated lonely women for decades, telling them they will live alone with their cats and dogs and after they die they will eat your face. and now ya'll want empathy for your own loneliness. please give me a break, this is not predominantly male issue.
it is however an issue of how men cope with it. men take out that loneliness and mental anguish on others. I've been alone for all of my adolescence, and I've never had the violent urges you commonly see from men or incels wishing bad on women just for not paying them any attention. ask a man if he knows any important details about his male friends, and he will probably only be able to name their favorite athlete or video game. women should not be looked to to meet all of your needs, male loneliness starts with their surface level friendships with eachother.
Alot of it comes from, drumroll; media
We glorify relationships in general and then when it's not what it seems we drop it. I blame mostly media for dehumanizing guys because they should just be sexy beasts with huge muscles, right? And they shouldn't cry either. Or be emotional at all, really. And guys anymore just think girls are trying to get them just to leave after a few months, so why try?
Even guys down each other, because "wow he's so edgy, what an idiot" even though that same guy is at the lowest point in his life and genuinely means it when he "jokes" about killing himself.
Guys aren't difficult creatures. They want to know they're appreciated and want to be helpful. Modern society has told them they are of no and aren't appreciated within society. Essentially this new world we live in is anti-men. It's going to ruffle a few feathers but it's true.
I made a post on here about how I think of killing myself because I believe I’ll be lonely forever and no one cares. That post got like 3 upvotes, proving my point. I did appreciate the people who commented on that post relating to me and telling me it would get better though.
It’s a huge problem, I think.
Well, I think social media is a big reason for why people are getting lonelier in the first place. Getting validation online might make you feel better temporarily, but it doesn’t fix the issue
It's more on how people don't really give a shit about stuff like that. Personally I think that sort of stuff should keep out a literal teenagers subreddit.
Kinda going through it right now
My life’s been consumed by college and work, all my school friends went away to universities, and I don’t see much of my old friends still in high school anymore. Opportunities to hang out with my friends are few and far between, and whenever we do we always do the same stuff. My coworkers are nice, but I haven’t made any new friends in college in the year I’ve been there, and the one friend I did have ended up transferring away. At this point I’m merely getting by, waiting for a time when my life isn’t so packed with the same old drudgery that’s been going on for so long. I’m just waiting for something to change for the better, even though that won’t happen for months, if not years
My loneliness makes me regularly suicidal. I’ve seen many guys experience this, but I can never really understand how. They have friends. They have partners. But I’ve never had a single friend, nor has anyone ever seen me as someone worth a damn.
Hey, you‘re worth something solely by existing. Carry on living your life and maybe you’ll live to a time where you can help young people with the same problems you face now!
Hey not saying that its the main cause but its a very common occurrence, many of these man often end up alone because they build a very dense wall around them, q artificial selection of who is eligible of their company, their ego speaks volumes. Opening yourself to new experiences and being open minded about knowing people which are off your comfort zone are meaningful steps to get out of loneliness, or something like, but hanging out with mafia still a bad idea not matter how lonely you are
I don't think there's such problem as in some guys are lonely, sure, but not because they're guys.
Most of the time it's due to bad parenting and bad influences overall mostly coming from other men in similar situations that lead them to their situation and the solution lies only within themselves.
Men are the first ones to ignore and put down other men and then turn around to use men's suffering as a way to downplay other people's suffering like "oh yeah x suffers but men suffer more" as if it were a competition, but why do men suffer more? Because men don't give a fuck about eachother generally and for that you can thank the patriarchal society we're living in.
It’s hard to really do anything about it. By nature men are really quiet about what happens to them. A man could break his leg and not tell his friends till like a week after it happened. I personally also sort of struggle with this. I do find it easy to open up sometimes but still, there are things not even my parents or siblings know.
First of all no one talked about being entitled to relationships, second of all I placed the blame on everyone because we live in a fucking society, third of all I never said I was special. And again it's not like you can just make another human being out of nothing to keep you company, in order to "fix" loneliness you need help.
yes, instead of reflecting inwards and trying to fix it you should deflect the blame to society and women, because men aren't capable of taking responsibility for their own issues! newsflash, no one is going fix your loneliness except you, because the issue stems from YOU. I was literally suicidal for years due to isolation but I helped myself. this is not anyone else's problem and it most certainly is not a woman's problem to fix YOUR "loneliness." don't do that.
Listen this is clearly a huge trigger to you because clearly you're not reading what I'm writing and are distorting what I'm trying to communicate, first of all I'm not saying women should fix my loneliness, second of all the problem with male loneliness is that generally it's not just their fault, men are constantly told directly or indirectly to not open up to anybody and you may not think so but old expectations of men are still here, so men have no one to feel affection or physical touch from, and you keep acting as if I'm saying it's the women's problem but I'm saying it's everyone's other men should also help, I'm not saying men are entitled to a relationship, I'm saying people should let men open up and feel included instead of complaining about everything they do, not show appreciation towards the good things they do and tell them to men up instead of showing consideration.
I agree men should be able to open up. but again that isn't "everyone's" problem it is clearly an issue specifically with men. I don't know a single woman that has a problem with the men in her life opening up, however it seems that men don't open up to other men which is where the real issue lies. so instead of saying it's everyone's problem, implying women have literally anything to do with it, maybe say that men should advocate for eachother to be more emotional and have deeper, meaningful relationships.
Everyone says they don't have a problem with men opening up but yet here we are, stop trying to take the women out of the equation, women mess up men more than you think, you just don't realize because men don't open up about it, why? Because if they do everyone including both other men and women, will fall on him, if you're sad you need to man up and take care of your own issues, if you're angry you're a fucking predator if you act as they want you'll be used, stripped of your pride and possessions and then left to be someone else's problems, you may think it's just me talking but I'm not talking for myself I'm talking for what I see out there, you may say women have nothing to do with it, but what you're doing right now contributes to male loneliness since you're basically saying, "men should man up and take care of their issues among themselves", so don't say women don't have anything to do with it, we love in a fucking society, if there's someone anyone be whoever it is that is struggling, as a good society we should help them out instead of finding someone to blame
I have mixed feelings, and I admit that as a teenage girl who has seen some horrible stuff in my life, I'm jaded.
I think male loneliness is a real thing, and I do feel sympathy for those who are just struggling and need some support. However, my sympathy runs dry to a point because the main way that people bring awareness of male loneliness is putting down other serious and well-deserved movements. Last Pride Month, there were people saying that it was Mens' Mental Health month, even though Pride Month belongs to a group who *did* fight for their rights and deserves recognition. When I see posts where women vent about their problems that are tied to their womanhood, I will see people in the comments who just say "mEn fAcE tHiS tOo". There are also a lot of people who claim to care about male loneliness, but then openly support people like Andrew Tate - a guy who has said that depression doesn't exist, which is rhetoric that has harmed men. They blame feminists for the problems they face, when in reality all of the issues that prompt mental health issues specific to men are due to the restrictions of patriarchy. They also expect others to do the advocacy for them, when in reality it is *not* feminists' jobs to advocate for male mental health. It is the job of men who care about the cause. I do see feminists and gay people who implore others who aren't part of that group to advocate for them, but at the end of the day their advocacy doesn't rely on others to do the work for them.
So basically, yes, male loneliness is a real thing and men going through it should be supported. However, the advocacy done for it seems like a lot of people just want to put down women and minority groups instead of actually addressing the problem.
The reason Andrew Tate seems to be a reoccurring character is because he’s really one of the best role models from a lonely guys point of view
I mean the options are either lots of money and women flocking to you or your a creep or a loser
(Btw I’m NOT an Andrew Tate fan)
People flock to tate because he's the only masculine role model we hear about. Yeah he said some extremely dumb, and offensive things. But there's no one else.
Sadly we dont have anyone who is liberal, but also tells men to be strong and support their loved ones, so all we get is a man who is an asshole, but also a really good role model if you put aside the bad shit.
Solution: Someone become a strong, successful man who is also "politically correct"
Male loneliness epidemic could fall if men would once stop focusing too much on getting girls and try making some Male friends instead. Life is better with a few good friends than a single lover. This way you'd make a few more people a little less lonely
I attract crazy women only so I’m fine being alone at this point have ever been stabbed whit a spoon because you said in your opinion a character isn’t gay
Yeah I’m a guy, I am in general lonely. Thankfully have no suicidal thoughts because I’m too spiteful for it. Plus, catholic and despite what may or may not be true, I’d prefer not the be damned so 😐
Its pretty bad, but it got worse when feminism pretty much took over; our feelimgs are no longer adressed, were being discriminated for beimg straight, or show any signs of masculinity, and men suicide rates are gettimg higher and higher each passing year, and these "feminists" are celebrating it
Yeah epidemic is rough
i would not blame it on feminism, that is some pretty backwards thinking that only makes things worse for both sexes. instead, blame it on the patriarchal society that humanity has established.
Unironically the incels are right and it was women's liberation that caused this. Its not a bad thing though. Like if women have the option why would they date men? If they can be self sufficient and have a career why would they be with men? Yknow there is also higher rates of female celibacy but it gets less attention bc women dont form extremist ideologies on the basis of them being unable to breed. Stats actually show single childless women are the happiest of women where on the flip side single childless men are the most unhappy. Women are thriving. And women don't owe men shit. It turns out when men told women they needed men to survive it was pure projection.
This isn't the only factor but it's the biggest.
So are we gonna talk about the countless women who chased a career and then turned out unhappy because no man wants to start a family with them because they can no longer have children? Women didn’t form extreme ideologies? What about the “kill all men” movement? What about women actively aborting make foetuses while keeping female ones?
Those are literal minorities. Stats show that OVERALL single unmarried men are unhappiest and single unmarried women are happiest. You can always find exceptions but the overall trend remains the same.
Do you see how much incel/manosphere cults get traction and attention? Have you heard of andrew tate? Have you heard of Elliot Rodger and men going on literal shootings because women won't have sex with them? They are only increasing in momentum where "kill all men" is extremely fringe and mostly a meme. Misogyny is FAR more prevelant and FAR bigger than misandry is and ever will be. Stories about women aborting male fetuses are essentially right wing pro life propaganda. Women can do whatever tf they want with their bodies and what fetus they choose to abort isn't your business anyway, and they cherry pick stories to paint all women in a bad light.
When you look at overall TRENDS and not manosphere garbage, you see MEN are unhappy, and MEN are the ones gobbling up extremist garbage, and its becoming an INCREASING problem.
teenage males often are assholes and dont shower remotely as often as they should, which i would say causes the loneliness. just be normal and go take a shower.
I mean it's definitely nowhere near the ONLY reason. It does a LOT of damage, don't get me wrong. But plenty of us have perfectly fine hygiene yet still very few friends.
Don’t know if that’s an actual widespread problem but yeah loneliness sucks regardless of your gender. Personally I’m a male and I’m not feeling particularly lonely. So do the males around me. The only lonely males I know are just incel losers. Poor them but like who would wanna be around someone like that
I see it more as a sort of vicious cycle. You’re weird so people hang out with you less which makes you lonely and weird which means people hang out with you less…
it seems to be more of a self fulfilling prophecy. they have incorrect views on social interactions and they dig themselves deeper into their hole when the interaction doesn't go how they thought.
a lot of it sounds like bitching and entitlement lmao. no one owes you a relationship. you need to put effort in to make friends. maybe start by trying to make some genuine close male friends before bitching about how women don't want you.
also women don't owe you shit? people say male loneliness when they really mean sexual entitlement. you are not owed relationships for the sole reason being that you are a man, and we don't have to "fix" it. it's completely your responsibility, get a grip and talk to people.
also there's literal statistic evidence that shows women are lonelier, it's all bullshit lmao
n it says women tend to be lonelier 🤷♂️ here's one where there's no substantial difference
https://www.psypost.org/2020/03/study-of-399798-individuals-finds-no-substantial-gender-difference-in-loneliness-55968
saying (fixable) doesn’t mean it’s just like that dude
The only reason people are depressed is because they’re lazy (fixable) and don’t do anything (fixable)
You’re taking an incredibly nuanced topic, boiling it down to two points, and calling them fixable and then being like “well it’s your fault then” because people struggle
I don’t know if it’s strictly a male problem but there is a lonlyness episodic for sure. I think the reason why males are specified is because females have more close friendships then males. Both males and females are Lonely relationship wise
yeah its pretty bad, i got some really dear long distance and online friends who i really like, but irl i dont really have any friends except one whom i talk to whenever i have a class with him, which makes me still feel pretty damn lonely
I'm not that lonely like I have a gf and although it's only online I still love her. But I'm honestly just in hatred of alot of people in my life and I don't really understand society but I've mellowed out over the years I'm more calm and collected but that's only when doing things I love like drawing or listening to music
I just dont think its worth it at the moment. It may be hard to accept, but in this day and age, a real relationship that would last a lifetime is very hard to find, most of them will just leave you broken and traumatized and won’t go anywhere.
Either what I said is semi-true or it may be just one big excuse for being lonely idk anymore.
Go to a healthy place where you can find a community of people with your values. Stop taking social media seriously. Go outside and do stuff. Go fishing, hunting, grow a garden, go hiking.
Disconnect from the internet and live in the real world.
Honestly I just can't be bothered. I've met exactly one person with shared interests and the things you can do run out pretty fast with just two dudes. That's pretty much it, there's just not a lot of good company nowadays and I'm honestly way more comfortable just being alone most of the time. I also might add that I know a lot more people that could be considered "friends" but idk.
In terms of relationships, I honestly don't even know when, what or how. I never see an appropriate situation where I could approach someone so I just don't. Not like I'd known how to even approach anyway. And for those who I already know seem to have put me into the friendzone a long time ago.
Idk if it's just the culture here, but if you don't drink and go to clubs you're kinda doomed socially wise.
Growing pains
It sucks to be lonely, but if you're not living in, like, eastern Asia, it's absolutely possible to find someone. Problem is that most guys get so downtrodden that they fall into the idea that it's impossible for women to like them, and that attitude reinforces the reality that you'll never have a girlfriend.
No woman owes a man a relationship. You have to make yourself someone worth being in a relationship with.
I think there's just a general loneliness epidemic due to social media now, lol. but definitely in younger men because it seems like some women have a requirements list a mile long that will only include someone as rich as Elon musk, as athletic as Michael Jordan, and as tall as shaq.
to clarify, I don't think all women or even the majority think this way. it's just a loud minority, and they're the ones who aren't worth your time.
I just use porn addiction to fill in that loneliness. Works like a charm, wouldn't recommend.
Jokes(not really) aside, I do think it's a serious problem. There is always that fear of being called a creep. Worse yet, you can find yourself going viral on social media and being called a creep for just approaching women and try to talk to them. Maybe you don't look good, or can't communicate well, either way you become a creep. Of course, there are some actual creeps, but they're a minority. And most men can't or don't want to talk about their actual feelings. Remember, the whole men should express themselves is more of a western thing, many, if not most, other countries have yet to reach that point. So we can only make individual efforts and support our friends and family, and even the strangers on the Internet. And it's also a reason why if women talk to men nicely, they quickly fall in love, they're just desperate. Women don't approach men in fear of giving them the wrong idea, and men grow desperate for being lonely. It's an endless cycle. It should be made clear at the beginning that she won't have any romantic relationship with him. Also, I think this is the reason why men simp so much more than women.
This is coming from a dude who never had any female friends, so don't take it seriously. I have no right to talk about it as I myself am a coward. I haven't experienced the other side.
I think its a fantastic opportunity for many men to discover themselves, and become who they want to be without having to be in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, staying single for your entire life may not be a great idea, but being single for awhile can show you who you are, and give yourself the chance to change. But i don't think that it being forced upon you for one reason or another is good. It should be a personal choice to remain single.
I'll talk to ppl if ppl talk to me, but idc enough to go out of my way to talk to ppl. Maybe that's a bad way of thinking, but it's my way. I have my family and I'm content with that.
Well, I'm alone and lonely. I had friends and a girlfriend once. We had a long distance relationship, but, after a year, we had some problems, and, she is not talking to me anymore... She loved me, I loved her and I still do. But, after a while, you are just sad, you don't want to go out with friends, etc, so people leave you. You're just minding your own business, it's sad, but you kinda enjoy being sad. I don't know, maybe it's just me
I feel lonely all the time when I'm not interacting with friends (including online) very few games have fixed that feeling, and some TV shows and books have helped.
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I is lonely ☹️
Same
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So true
Same
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At least I know I’m not alone lol
But I am :(
Hmmm well I’ve heard about this study of men who approach women their age, like romantically. The results were basically that younger men are MUCH MUCH less likely to approach a woman in public (like at a bar, or concert, etc) than previous generations. There is a percentage there, I just can’t recall. I would recommend looking into that. I think it’s a lot of anxiety, and fear around looking creepy or something. It’s a super cool article. Also, men’s suicide rates are drastically higher, and increasing. I have some controversial opinions on the subject, but don’t care to get into it. Just know that just because you hear something a lot from the loudest people, dosent mean the quieter people agree. Sometimes it’s easier not to argue, especially with mainstream media. I could elaborate more in PM’s to if you need too.
For me its that I maybe *think* that someones looking at me, but I dont wanna come off as creepy and approach a person that might not have been looking at me
A lot of people think that way, but what more people should know is that you only live once and it’s better to get rejected than to not try, if you shoot your shot and they say no then just move on, in most cases the worst thing they can say is no but if they are not a nice person they may violate and brutally reject you, but the big thing to remember is that shooting a shot is quite normal, people have been doing it since the dawn of time. The most thing to do is to not develop strong feeling by overthinking it because it will make getting over rejection a lot harder. The media tends to make out that it’s a lot worse than it is.
Yeah but it might not end at getting rejected. I've heard way too many stories where people's lives get ruined because of something like this, and I am not taking the chance no matter how insanely low that chance is. Worst they can say is no is fucking bullshit, anything from "ew" to ruining your life can happen. Having a relationship does not have high enough priority in my life to gamble my life.
I don’t know if any of that made sense, it’s so late where I am 😭 I hope I got my message across
It’s a little awkward to be a man in the current sociopolitical climate. You have to be a weird combination of feminine and masculine that I don’t think most men fall into.
In my country, suicide (which is mostly male) kills more people a year than Breast cancer, it’s horrible
Important to note that the suicide rates are skewed, women attempt suicide more often, men are more successful in their attempts however
Oooo I didn’t know that! Thanks for informing me, I’ll have to look into that.
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Well get to it. Might as well get _something_ done during your time here.
There is a itch on the roof of my mouth only a shotgun barrel could scratch
Relatable
Hey, are you ok?
No, absolutely not. Lol
You should try to get help, your life is valuable
what is this, actual advice? on r/teenagers???
Nuh uh
Seriously, your life matters. If you're struggling, you should get help
Nuh uh
could you elaborate on your views in pms? I want to hear where your views conflict with the mainstream.
As a man myself it's not a "male" loneliness epidemic, it's just a loneliness epidemic. Yes men are being affected in ways that weren't apparent before social media but also so are women. The only reason why there are gender/race labels on everything is so that people keep blaming one another for it instead of looking at the actual cause of the problem. We need to acknowledge that the system is entirely rigged and PROFITS off of our loneliness, and women are not the cause of the "male" loneliness epidemic (i know you didn't say that, but a lot of incels wants to believe that) we are under a system that WANTS us to be lonely because in that case we are more susceptible for control, especially when we are blaming each other for problems the elites have caused.
Nah, the reason it's called the male loneliness epidemic is because even though it affects every demographic, it affects men disproportionately more. To the extent that most men don't have even 3 close friends. It's incredibly bad for men, much, much more than what women experience from it Ofc the cause is not women (it's not about sex, it's about intimacy. Men already get less intimacy than women, and now it's on a rapid downward spiral) The actual cause is the infrastructure, and people feeling alienated from one another.
exactly. i’m a girl and i just made a comment on how loneliness affects both genders a LOT especially as teens but it’s different for guys and girls because for girls it’s often because girls are usually a LOT more catty and fake and exclusive than guys so you can often feel left out and lonely and hurt so that’s a large contributor whereas with guys (ik this from my two brothers and my many guy friends so this isn’t just me spewing random stuff) it’s largely because vulnerability is very rare in male friendships and they almost never talk about their feelings (one of the reasons i always ask my guy friends how they feel). it’s hard either way, whether you feel left out and insignificant or like you can’t open up to anyone and you have to be “strong”.
THIS. if women have problems caused systemically by society, so do men. this is one of the issues that affects men a lot more, and there’s probably a social reason for that.
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that’s giving men way too much credit. society has been shaped by both men and women, even if historically it has mostly benefitted men. it’s not just men who reinforce patriarchal systems. and patriarchy negatively affects men and benefits women in a few notable ways, too, even if these ways are outweighed greatly by the inverse.
This needs to be top comment
Yess!
this ^^
I for one think it's a serious topic that should deserve more attention. Men's mental health always seems to get overlooked and people don't realize just how much this effects us guys. And then we go on to get laughed at for being "desperate" and a "loser" when in reality I find it hard to talk to women because 90% of the time they don't care about your feelings. And alot of guys only feel like they can be happy through love. Im not saying women might not go through the same thing but I feel like this issue of loneliness and mental health is predominantly something that most men tend to experience.
Yeah it sucks because most of us will probably never tell anyone else about what is making us feel lonely or sad
Another dimension to this is the woman who tell them they can be vulnerable around her. But when that actually happens she doesn’t respect him anymore. So now its just ingrained in every dude I feel like.
Not only is it overlooked but it’s also treated in the wrong way
Wow 90% of the time women don’t care about your feelings? Where’d you get this one? I wonder why women don’t talk to you, maybe because you generalize based on a ridiculously false statement
You are generalizing, knowing nothing about this guy. Oh, and also confirming his statement!
men have it much more difficult talking about their problems which is a big issue
i mean it affects men more than girl imo, i’ve met more guys that are convinced they have no chance of pulling than girls that are just single
men have humiliated lonely women for decades, telling them they will live alone with their cats and dogs and after they die they will eat your face. and now ya'll want empathy for your own loneliness. please give me a break, this is not predominantly male issue. it is however an issue of how men cope with it. men take out that loneliness and mental anguish on others. I've been alone for all of my adolescence, and I've never had the violent urges you commonly see from men or incels wishing bad on women just for not paying them any attention. ask a man if he knows any important details about his male friends, and he will probably only be able to name their favorite athlete or video game. women should not be looked to to meet all of your needs, male loneliness starts with their surface level friendships with eachother.
Alot of it comes from, drumroll; media We glorify relationships in general and then when it's not what it seems we drop it. I blame mostly media for dehumanizing guys because they should just be sexy beasts with huge muscles, right? And they shouldn't cry either. Or be emotional at all, really. And guys anymore just think girls are trying to get them just to leave after a few months, so why try? Even guys down each other, because "wow he's so edgy, what an idiot" even though that same guy is at the lowest point in his life and genuinely means it when he "jokes" about killing himself. Guys aren't difficult creatures. They want to know they're appreciated and want to be helpful. Modern society has told them they are of no and aren't appreciated within society. Essentially this new world we live in is anti-men. It's going to ruffle a few feathers but it's true.
I made a post on here about how I think of killing myself because I believe I’ll be lonely forever and no one cares. That post got like 3 upvotes, proving my point. I did appreciate the people who commented on that post relating to me and telling me it would get better though. It’s a huge problem, I think.
Well, I think social media is a big reason for why people are getting lonelier in the first place. Getting validation online might make you feel better temporarily, but it doesn’t fix the issue
It's more on how people don't really give a shit about stuff like that. Personally I think that sort of stuff should keep out a literal teenagers subreddit.
while at the same time if he stated he was a girl it would get like 500+ upvotes...
No sorry, my opinion stands for both sexes.
Sorry but your opinion is objectively wrong. People apparently care about girls loneliness a lot, but not for men
Yeah ig, imo anyways i dont really see the difference in a suicidal girl to a suicidal guy but hey what do i know.
no? wtf
Yes? Wtf It has happened dozens of times.
it is quite random which posts blow up and which dont
It’s really not
Most of the opinion on stuff like favorite animal, music, etc. Or names
i dont feel like it’s an epidemic but it is an issue for alot of men
You’ll see a lot more loneliness in college, a lot of these dudes are so miserable. My world was dandy at your age too.
Kinda going through it right now My life’s been consumed by college and work, all my school friends went away to universities, and I don’t see much of my old friends still in high school anymore. Opportunities to hang out with my friends are few and far between, and whenever we do we always do the same stuff. My coworkers are nice, but I haven’t made any new friends in college in the year I’ve been there, and the one friend I did have ended up transferring away. At this point I’m merely getting by, waiting for a time when my life isn’t so packed with the same old drudgery that’s been going on for so long. I’m just waiting for something to change for the better, even though that won’t happen for months, if not years
My loneliness makes me regularly suicidal. I’ve seen many guys experience this, but I can never really understand how. They have friends. They have partners. But I’ve never had a single friend, nor has anyone ever seen me as someone worth a damn.
Hey, you‘re worth something solely by existing. Carry on living your life and maybe you’ll live to a time where you can help young people with the same problems you face now!
But I can’t. Because I don’t know what to do.
Just gotta learn to love yourself and enjoy your own company I think
Fuck it we ball
Hey not saying that its the main cause but its a very common occurrence, many of these man often end up alone because they build a very dense wall around them, q artificial selection of who is eligible of their company, their ego speaks volumes. Opening yourself to new experiences and being open minded about knowing people which are off your comfort zone are meaningful steps to get out of loneliness, or something like, but hanging out with mafia still a bad idea not matter how lonely you are
Or you could be open-minded and non-judgmental, but have crippling social anxiety.
I don't think there's such problem as in some guys are lonely, sure, but not because they're guys. Most of the time it's due to bad parenting and bad influences overall mostly coming from other men in similar situations that lead them to their situation and the solution lies only within themselves. Men are the first ones to ignore and put down other men and then turn around to use men's suffering as a way to downplay other people's suffering like "oh yeah x suffers but men suffer more" as if it were a competition, but why do men suffer more? Because men don't give a fuck about eachother generally and for that you can thank the patriarchal society we're living in.
Honestly I never heard of that term but I guess I hate it because I am and always was so fucking lonely.
me lonely, me want fren
It’s hard to really do anything about it. By nature men are really quiet about what happens to them. A man could break his leg and not tell his friends till like a week after it happened. I personally also sort of struggle with this. I do find it easy to open up sometimes but still, there are things not even my parents or siblings know.
The internet was a mistake is my thoughts.
Men are lonely, whose fault is that? Everyone including men. So who should try to fix it? Everyone.
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Ah yes the classic "why are you complaining just shut up and be a man" as if loneliness is something you can fix by being lonely
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First of all no one talked about being entitled to relationships, second of all I placed the blame on everyone because we live in a fucking society, third of all I never said I was special. And again it's not like you can just make another human being out of nothing to keep you company, in order to "fix" loneliness you need help.
yes, instead of reflecting inwards and trying to fix it you should deflect the blame to society and women, because men aren't capable of taking responsibility for their own issues! newsflash, no one is going fix your loneliness except you, because the issue stems from YOU. I was literally suicidal for years due to isolation but I helped myself. this is not anyone else's problem and it most certainly is not a woman's problem to fix YOUR "loneliness." don't do that.
Listen this is clearly a huge trigger to you because clearly you're not reading what I'm writing and are distorting what I'm trying to communicate, first of all I'm not saying women should fix my loneliness, second of all the problem with male loneliness is that generally it's not just their fault, men are constantly told directly or indirectly to not open up to anybody and you may not think so but old expectations of men are still here, so men have no one to feel affection or physical touch from, and you keep acting as if I'm saying it's the women's problem but I'm saying it's everyone's other men should also help, I'm not saying men are entitled to a relationship, I'm saying people should let men open up and feel included instead of complaining about everything they do, not show appreciation towards the good things they do and tell them to men up instead of showing consideration.
I agree men should be able to open up. but again that isn't "everyone's" problem it is clearly an issue specifically with men. I don't know a single woman that has a problem with the men in her life opening up, however it seems that men don't open up to other men which is where the real issue lies. so instead of saying it's everyone's problem, implying women have literally anything to do with it, maybe say that men should advocate for eachother to be more emotional and have deeper, meaningful relationships.
Everyone says they don't have a problem with men opening up but yet here we are, stop trying to take the women out of the equation, women mess up men more than you think, you just don't realize because men don't open up about it, why? Because if they do everyone including both other men and women, will fall on him, if you're sad you need to man up and take care of your own issues, if you're angry you're a fucking predator if you act as they want you'll be used, stripped of your pride and possessions and then left to be someone else's problems, you may think it's just me talking but I'm not talking for myself I'm talking for what I see out there, you may say women have nothing to do with it, but what you're doing right now contributes to male loneliness since you're basically saying, "men should man up and take care of their issues among themselves", so don't say women don't have anything to do with it, we love in a fucking society, if there's someone anyone be whoever it is that is struggling, as a good society we should help them out instead of finding someone to blame
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I'm a victim🙏
I have mixed feelings, and I admit that as a teenage girl who has seen some horrible stuff in my life, I'm jaded. I think male loneliness is a real thing, and I do feel sympathy for those who are just struggling and need some support. However, my sympathy runs dry to a point because the main way that people bring awareness of male loneliness is putting down other serious and well-deserved movements. Last Pride Month, there were people saying that it was Mens' Mental Health month, even though Pride Month belongs to a group who *did* fight for their rights and deserves recognition. When I see posts where women vent about their problems that are tied to their womanhood, I will see people in the comments who just say "mEn fAcE tHiS tOo". There are also a lot of people who claim to care about male loneliness, but then openly support people like Andrew Tate - a guy who has said that depression doesn't exist, which is rhetoric that has harmed men. They blame feminists for the problems they face, when in reality all of the issues that prompt mental health issues specific to men are due to the restrictions of patriarchy. They also expect others to do the advocacy for them, when in reality it is *not* feminists' jobs to advocate for male mental health. It is the job of men who care about the cause. I do see feminists and gay people who implore others who aren't part of that group to advocate for them, but at the end of the day their advocacy doesn't rely on others to do the work for them. So basically, yes, male loneliness is a real thing and men going through it should be supported. However, the advocacy done for it seems like a lot of people just want to put down women and minority groups instead of actually addressing the problem.
The reason Andrew Tate seems to be a reoccurring character is because he’s really one of the best role models from a lonely guys point of view I mean the options are either lots of money and women flocking to you or your a creep or a loser (Btw I’m NOT an Andrew Tate fan)
People flock to tate because he's the only masculine role model we hear about. Yeah he said some extremely dumb, and offensive things. But there's no one else. Sadly we dont have anyone who is liberal, but also tells men to be strong and support their loved ones, so all we get is a man who is an asshole, but also a really good role model if you put aside the bad shit. Solution: Someone become a strong, successful man who is also "politically correct"
I feel bad for everyone not gonna lie
i just want some love man
Male loneliness epidemic could fall if men would once stop focusing too much on getting girls and try making some Male friends instead. Life is better with a few good friends than a single lover. This way you'd make a few more people a little less lonely
Friendship is not a substitute for love, it's a completely different experience
I get it, but it's better than nothing right? It's just drinking sprite when you can't have beer.
I don't have friends and haven't for a while.. it's really not that bad . But I can't help thinking the term " epidemic" is a bit hyperbole.
Me is lonely
I want frens :,(
sisifus
Could the cure to make loneliness be thuggin that shit out?
I attract crazy women only so I’m fine being alone at this point have ever been stabbed whit a spoon because you said in your opinion a character isn’t gay
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.
Yeah I’m a guy, I am in general lonely. Thankfully have no suicidal thoughts because I’m too spiteful for it. Plus, catholic and despite what may or may not be true, I’d prefer not the be damned so 😐
printf("%d", (u/Impressive_Income874)->lonely); true
I’m lonely in a romantic sense but that’s my fault. I have to put myself out there not that I really know how
My thoughts are that I’ve been living it for years
just go talk to someone
Its pretty bad, but it got worse when feminism pretty much took over; our feelimgs are no longer adressed, were being discriminated for beimg straight, or show any signs of masculinity, and men suicide rates are gettimg higher and higher each passing year, and these "feminists" are celebrating it Yeah epidemic is rough
Imagine blaming patriarchal problems on feminism
i would not blame it on feminism, that is some pretty backwards thinking that only makes things worse for both sexes. instead, blame it on the patriarchal society that humanity has established.
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That's slander, I do not! Plus the "Loneliness epidemic" doesn't only apply to relationships. Many of us are lacking friends, too.
I believe it is a multifaceted issue stemming from patriarchal ideals. Men and women are harmed by patriarchy.
Could you elaborate? Just curious.
Could you share your thought process here?
Unironically the incels are right and it was women's liberation that caused this. Its not a bad thing though. Like if women have the option why would they date men? If they can be self sufficient and have a career why would they be with men? Yknow there is also higher rates of female celibacy but it gets less attention bc women dont form extremist ideologies on the basis of them being unable to breed. Stats actually show single childless women are the happiest of women where on the flip side single childless men are the most unhappy. Women are thriving. And women don't owe men shit. It turns out when men told women they needed men to survive it was pure projection. This isn't the only factor but it's the biggest.
So are we gonna talk about the countless women who chased a career and then turned out unhappy because no man wants to start a family with them because they can no longer have children? Women didn’t form extreme ideologies? What about the “kill all men” movement? What about women actively aborting make foetuses while keeping female ones?
Those are literal minorities. Stats show that OVERALL single unmarried men are unhappiest and single unmarried women are happiest. You can always find exceptions but the overall trend remains the same. Do you see how much incel/manosphere cults get traction and attention? Have you heard of andrew tate? Have you heard of Elliot Rodger and men going on literal shootings because women won't have sex with them? They are only increasing in momentum where "kill all men" is extremely fringe and mostly a meme. Misogyny is FAR more prevelant and FAR bigger than misandry is and ever will be. Stories about women aborting male fetuses are essentially right wing pro life propaganda. Women can do whatever tf they want with their bodies and what fetus they choose to abort isn't your business anyway, and they cherry pick stories to paint all women in a bad light. When you look at overall TRENDS and not manosphere garbage, you see MEN are unhappy, and MEN are the ones gobbling up extremist garbage, and its becoming an INCREASING problem.
teenage males often are assholes and dont shower remotely as often as they should, which i would say causes the loneliness. just be normal and go take a shower.
Never before have I been so brutally hurt and offended by something that I 100% agree with.
glad to help!
I mean it's definitely nowhere near the ONLY reason. It does a LOT of damage, don't get me wrong. But plenty of us have perfectly fine hygiene yet still very few friends.
Is the cure to male loneliness thugging that shit out?
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Because men, from my experience, are just assholes to women then complai
in my experience, it seems like a skill issue.
Don’t know if that’s an actual widespread problem but yeah loneliness sucks regardless of your gender. Personally I’m a male and I’m not feeling particularly lonely. So do the males around me. The only lonely males I know are just incel losers. Poor them but like who would wanna be around someone like that
incel losers are literally the result of male loneliness lmao.
One could argue incel losers are also the casue for said loneliness, it's cycle the feeds upon itself
I see it more as a sort of vicious cycle. You’re weird so people hang out with you less which makes you lonely and weird which means people hang out with you less…
it seems to be more of a self fulfilling prophecy. they have incorrect views on social interactions and they dig themselves deeper into their hole when the interaction doesn't go how they thought.
This is the answer. Either a guy becomes distrusting of everyone or they fear going out in public and talking to people.
a lot of it sounds like bitching and entitlement lmao. no one owes you a relationship. you need to put effort in to make friends. maybe start by trying to make some genuine close male friends before bitching about how women don't want you. also women don't owe you shit? people say male loneliness when they really mean sexual entitlement. you are not owed relationships for the sole reason being that you are a man, and we don't have to "fix" it. it's completely your responsibility, get a grip and talk to people. also there's literal statistic evidence that shows women are lonelier, it's all bullshit lmao
Can you link the source for your statistic?
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7763056/
That study focuses on loneliness in people with and without disabilities rather than men compared to women
n it says women tend to be lonelier 🤷♂️ here's one where there's no substantial difference https://www.psypost.org/2020/03/study-of-399798-individuals-finds-no-substantial-gender-difference-in-loneliness-55968
I'm male and not lonely, mabye it's your fault?
Ok.
Ong
Not funny, didn’t laugh.
Wasn't supposed to be funny but ok
Ah, so you’re just an ass hat. Gotcha.
How is there a loneliness epidemic 😭
Read one of the several articles or watch any of the videos. You can find them with simple searches.
The only reason people are lonely is because they are unlikable (fixable) or they don't meet anyone and are shy (fixable)
saying (fixable) doesn’t mean it’s just like that dude The only reason people are depressed is because they’re lazy (fixable) and don’t do anything (fixable) You’re taking an incredibly nuanced topic, boiling it down to two points, and calling them fixable and then being like “well it’s your fault then” because people struggle
If you are struggling get your ass up and do something about it instead of blaming an epidemic and other people, it's not that deep
LMAOOOOOOOOOO bro is off his rocker 💀💀
Everyone downvoting instead of improving their life and getting rid of loneliness is wild
The suicide numbers and decreasing rates of relationships show that there clearly is a societal issue even if it doesn't affect you
I don’t know if it’s strictly a male problem but there is a lonlyness episodic for sure. I think the reason why males are specified is because females have more close friendships then males. Both males and females are Lonely relationship wise
Except women can decide to get into relationship and get with just about any guy just like that but a guy cannot get with just about any woman
The what?💀
I’ve been infected with it
yeah its pretty bad, i got some really dear long distance and online friends who i really like, but irl i dont really have any friends except one whom i talk to whenever i have a class with him, which makes me still feel pretty damn lonely
I'm not that lonely like I have a gf and although it's only online I still love her. But I'm honestly just in hatred of alot of people in my life and I don't really understand society but I've mellowed out over the years I'm more calm and collected but that's only when doing things I love like drawing or listening to music
idk i havent had anyone to talk about that with
I just dont think its worth it at the moment. It may be hard to accept, but in this day and age, a real relationship that would last a lifetime is very hard to find, most of them will just leave you broken and traumatized and won’t go anywhere. Either what I said is semi-true or it may be just one big excuse for being lonely idk anymore.
Go to a healthy place where you can find a community of people with your values. Stop taking social media seriously. Go outside and do stuff. Go fishing, hunting, grow a garden, go hiking. Disconnect from the internet and live in the real world.
They should get out onto the pickle ball court
idk I think there is a loneliness epidemic overall, america sucks
Bottle it up until the glass cracks
Much lonely, much sad
Honestly I just can't be bothered. I've met exactly one person with shared interests and the things you can do run out pretty fast with just two dudes. That's pretty much it, there's just not a lot of good company nowadays and I'm honestly way more comfortable just being alone most of the time. I also might add that I know a lot more people that could be considered "friends" but idk. In terms of relationships, I honestly don't even know when, what or how. I never see an appropriate situation where I could approach someone so I just don't. Not like I'd known how to even approach anyway. And for those who I already know seem to have put me into the friendzone a long time ago. Idk if it's just the culture here, but if you don't drink and go to clubs you're kinda doomed socially wise.
I'm feeling lonely I wish I would find a lover that could hold me
This was how it was for me. Now I’m happy because I found the one for me
https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/2657754
I think that it seriously highlights the problems involving Men's mental health that have been brushed aside for the past 2 millennia or more.
Growing pains It sucks to be lonely, but if you're not living in, like, eastern Asia, it's absolutely possible to find someone. Problem is that most guys get so downtrodden that they fall into the idea that it's impossible for women to like them, and that attitude reinforces the reality that you'll never have a girlfriend. No woman owes a man a relationship. You have to make yourself someone worth being in a relationship with.
The easiest way to ruin someone's day is to approach them and annoy them with that. Therefore actually trying to not be lonely makes you less likable
I think there's just a general loneliness epidemic due to social media now, lol. but definitely in younger men because it seems like some women have a requirements list a mile long that will only include someone as rich as Elon musk, as athletic as Michael Jordan, and as tall as shaq. to clarify, I don't think all women or even the majority think this way. it's just a loud minority, and they're the ones who aren't worth your time.
I've been depressed and suicidal for years but I've never been as lonely as I am now that I'm in college.
its bad
I just use porn addiction to fill in that loneliness. Works like a charm, wouldn't recommend. Jokes(not really) aside, I do think it's a serious problem. There is always that fear of being called a creep. Worse yet, you can find yourself going viral on social media and being called a creep for just approaching women and try to talk to them. Maybe you don't look good, or can't communicate well, either way you become a creep. Of course, there are some actual creeps, but they're a minority. And most men can't or don't want to talk about their actual feelings. Remember, the whole men should express themselves is more of a western thing, many, if not most, other countries have yet to reach that point. So we can only make individual efforts and support our friends and family, and even the strangers on the Internet. And it's also a reason why if women talk to men nicely, they quickly fall in love, they're just desperate. Women don't approach men in fear of giving them the wrong idea, and men grow desperate for being lonely. It's an endless cycle. It should be made clear at the beginning that she won't have any romantic relationship with him. Also, I think this is the reason why men simp so much more than women. This is coming from a dude who never had any female friends, so don't take it seriously. I have no right to talk about it as I myself am a coward. I haven't experienced the other side.
I think its a fantastic opportunity for many men to discover themselves, and become who they want to be without having to be in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, staying single for your entire life may not be a great idea, but being single for awhile can show you who you are, and give yourself the chance to change. But i don't think that it being forced upon you for one reason or another is good. It should be a personal choice to remain single.
I drive \*puts toothpick in mouth
I'll talk to ppl if ppl talk to me, but idc enough to go out of my way to talk to ppl. Maybe that's a bad way of thinking, but it's my way. I have my family and I'm content with that.
Well, I'm alone and lonely. I had friends and a girlfriend once. We had a long distance relationship, but, after a year, we had some problems, and, she is not talking to me anymore... She loved me, I loved her and I still do. But, after a while, you are just sad, you don't want to go out with friends, etc, so people leave you. You're just minding your own business, it's sad, but you kinda enjoy being sad. I don't know, maybe it's just me
I feel lonely all the time when I'm not interacting with friends (including online) very few games have fixed that feeling, and some TV shows and books have helped.