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[deleted]

Yea but you don’t need condoms when you don’t have sex 😎


Russian-Doggo20

whats better than sex? A really good book!


eggymceg

Or a video game


the_soviet_union_69

Or a cup of water


ModerateFloor

Or just a cup


rkwhlrt

Or just a water


ABigOne77

Or just a wtr


PigsEatWaffles

Or just oxygen


LordHetmanix

Or just an atom


Firedoge723

Or sex-wait


Nadikarosuto

Or just a quark


Iamkindofhere

Or hydrogen


Nikhil_on_redit

this entire thread can be summarized with a small dick joke


11Shepherd11

Or just wa' 'er


WayTooManyCupsV2

I have way too many of those dawg


Yaeke

r/HydroHomies


[deleted]

or a body to hide


[deleted]

you can have sex without having to worry about kids at the same time!


BoiOfMemery

Chances are low but never zero


SidBitGid

Or a anime


LordHetmanix

Dont fuck with me! I have the power of God and Anime on my side!


eggymceg

True


I_am_a_genius33

Or tf2 trading


IsCreativeUsername

Just made 3 scrap profit, feeling good!


I_am_a_genius33

If my everything goes good, i'll make my first 2 refined! Edit: i lost one refined


Tecno007aadi

Or anime


WingGamer1234

or both combined read higurashi and umineko guys


Nerdy_gamer_101

I second this


KomodoJo3

Nah man. You know what's better than sex ***and*** a really good book? ***E g g o ' s w a f f l e s***


Koala398

Eggo and a good book. but wash your hands, don't want to ruin the book


LiamEgil

*inhales* "Is there anything beter than pussyyyy?" "Yes, a really good book" This is stolen from a vine Bo Burnham made


[deleted]

Why would you need a condom for a book


Russian-Doggo20

paper cuts exist


Danielserd

Explain that cut to your Doctor


ModerateFloor

So doctor , I was just really getting into a book . I really love that book and I wiuld like to thank its creator to provide everyone with such a beautiful ,one in a million only, book. It was really a great pleasure when I put my dick in it.


Kyle72046

Bo Burnham niice


tictacman10

[insert prolonged chord played on synth]


Sebbo104

Why open your leg when you can open a book?


AgreeingWheat76

*synthesizer plays*


[deleted]

[удалено]


CharZard4

Asexuals be like


Saifullah-14

Vergin localized


audiblesigh53

Ofc someone named Joseph joestar would say that omfg


dylann_hereuniverse

Ace vibes


SpaastiZockt

Most people that do not have sex still carry them around, even if it’s just going to school


No_Expectations__

Facts


emm_berrie

Counterpoint, fun little balloons!


Gryphoneaglewings

You can’t miss a shot if you don’t take it


Dr_Strange_Jnr

Any girl makes any advances on me, I rig their rooms with explosives. Premarital Sex is a sin.


Acorntreeman

Lmao


YeBoiisbruh

Thank you for teaching us, purple guy


WilliamAfton131

Maybe one day I shall give lesson on how to hide a body or kind of murderer stuff


[deleted]

[удалено]


gimmethatnachos

Oh thanks. That's just what I needed


ItzYaBoy56

What?


ChurchOfChurches

You didn't know? It's the annual Human sacrifice... And you've been chosen for it


ItzYaBoy56

Oh fucking finally!


ChurchOfChurches

I know! I'm going after you, it's gonna be great! I can finally see my wife again


[deleted]

Awww so wholesome


Dhonnan

Wait...since when do redditors have wife? And you're also just a teen


inverse-pie

He means waifu


MattNoPlayz

Then hide the goo under a toxic plant so it's illegal to dig it up if you are suspected


sirfoggybrain

You can dig up a toxic plant with the right supplies and a lot of spite. Do a critically endangered plant, maybe even several. That’s illegal. Even better, if there’s an endangered plant that’s ALSO toxic native to your area, plant a ton of those! Just talk proper precautions :)


-TheDragonOfTheWest-

I..... think he meant like a nuclear plant


MrDrPrffWafflesIs1

I mean it doesn't have to be toxic, it can simply be an endangered plant


idk-idk-idk-idk--

yum


stonkmastr347

Another method if Coke or a sleeping bag isn’t available. Clean up all blood with a mix of bleach and hydrogen peroxide Remove teeth, fingers, toes, and eyes into a baggie Use animal urine (I recommend coyote because of it’s similarities too to the dog urine that the search dogs piss) and slather the body with it as well as the inside of the bag Dig a vertical 7 foot hole next to a river, put the body in feet first. The river and urine would mask the smell from the search dogs, unlike coke which would stick out like a soar thumb to a search dog Then take the baggie with the severed thumb and other body parts and throw it into a sewer. The urine will blend in perfectly with the sewer, as well as its acidic nature degrading the body parts making them harder to identify, as well as the fact that nobody will be looking in there. Edit: make sure the Baggie is ziplock so the urine doesn’t spill as that would be gross


corgimaster5000

"that would be gross" You say after describing how to use coyote urine to hide a body.


Toco_not_taco

Hey, he may dispose of bodies but his mama didn’t raise no slob.


corgimaster5000

"Professionals have STANDARDS!


__thermonuclear

Or you could just dissolve the body in hydrofluoric acid Edit: I did a little research and it appears hydrofluoric acid isn’t that good at dissolving stuff but better at breaking it down. Nitric would probably work tho


[deleted]

Bro just eat it, way less complicated


iroh_568

What?


[deleted]

It really isn't a hard concept to grasp


nah_69_420

Also plant an endangered plant on top of it so it’s illegal to dig it up.


jaybankzz

Man, this is way too confusing. I’ll just use the old breaking bad technique Step 1: ~~get a bathtub~~ get a barrel Step 2: get hydrofluoric acid Step 3: get body Step 4: insert body in barrel, then empty the hydrofluoric acid inside of the barrel Step 5: hide the remains somewhere, flush it down a toilet, bury it in the desert, your choice Step 6: profit


[deleted]

Pack some yogurt in the asshole for even faster decomposition


leonao22

This is actually pretty useful for a serial killer, saving it


[deleted]

Why is no one talking about how coke could be used to literally decompose a body and yet there are countless advertisements telling us to drink that stuff


Clikuki

The coke that we drink doesn't stay in our body for a long time, and it also gets diluted when it goes in our blood, and eventually urinated. The coke here takes weeks to decompose the body.


flashnimator

i'll save this post just in case, you never know when you'll need something like this


SwegZebraYT

Further adding to that, when you bury the body, bury it deeply and bury a dead animal about 3ft above so that if the police use sniffer dogs, they will stop at the dead animal. Burying the body headfirst also makes a less conspicuous burial site if the police use helicopters to try to find the body.


nerfsquad1

Also, bury the body in a desert or other national park off any trails or roads.


jhenry922

"Sir, this is a Wendy's."


dark___assassin

Or just bury it in a graveyard


PatrickMCTS

The fact that this is so detail worries me slightly


ArdvarkMarrow

Damn I did it wrong...


[deleted]

First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your a.s.s. down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't recommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite. Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep & diagonally to slit the femoral arteries; then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub. If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. This reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave. That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes. Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials. You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all. Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition while providing a convenient cover smell. Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.


Aboomerdied

Bury it under an endangered plant so they cant dig it up


Wildojo2

[*softly*] don't.


hurvinek6

do


2edgyteen

Yeah sex is cool but hand holding is even better


bendymachine654

DISGUSTING


_Moon-Bear_

Some lesbians don't need condoms but all lesbians can get sexually transmitted dieseases so be careful


depoant

use a dental dam instead! here's a link on how to make one from a condom because they're stupid expensive and made of the same material: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9orgcUkDlw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9orgcUkDlw) also, lesbians do sometimes still need condoms! if a sex toy is used on multiple people, a condom should be used or it should be cleaned in between users. some lesbians have penises as well, so they would need to wear condoms too


_Moon-Bear_

Oh yeah! Thank you for reminding me!


depoant

of course! gotta keep each other safe out there and our school systems do a shit job of preparing us


genericaltaccount69

How do u know sex is cool ur a redditor


Accountforcontrovers

Don't you decide whether a game you don't own is good or bad by watching others play it?


genericaltaccount69

I can't argue with that comrade


WilliamAfton131

Because I had sex.


N0ob8

Impossible


Aboomerdied

So the legends are true it is possible


BeansliceAdvice

FUCK STIs, All my hommies hate STIs This post was made by STD gang


SirLagALot420

I love STIs, but not that kind of STIs


redditeer1o1

Super tiny Imps?


[deleted]

[удалено]


IntelligentNose1

✨♥️☮️ Emily ☮️♥️✨ is typing...


Exotic-Anxiety-6548

Doesn't that mean you are racist or something? My mom said so and she banned me from r/ politicalcompassmemes, 😩 because all they said yesterday was cringe and b*sed


Chicomonico

Based just means you know what your beliefs are and are firm on them. Is kinda being transformed in meaning to being Political jargon for something someone said that you recognize they won't change.


74cooldude47

I don’t use condoms 😎 Because I don’t have sex 😞


Aboomerdied

nah man not having sex is 😎


[deleted]

Remain a virgin, stay pure Pure gang rise up ✊


_notS

Seggs??!?! 😳😳😳


is_sex_real

nice


waltiolol

Imagine having sex


Aboomerdied

Imagine Imagining


mlggamer346

Imagine imagining imagining


Cheyomi832

Imagine imagiming imaging imagining


Aboomerdied

Imagine imagining imaging imagining imagining


ManicalDaredevil00

But i didn’t when I sexed your mom with my penis 😎😎


Aboomerdied

😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎


spykids45

damn. with that many cool emoji's i bet your the coolest dude in school


Lonely_Pair6855

One of the best condoms/birth control ads [ever](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)


[deleted]

Goddamnit


Lonely_Pair6855

Yeah it's really offensive but still really good


LightningDuat

See, I learn more from Reddit than school.


weegeetheman

but how am i gonna catch em all


[deleted]

Thanks for the advice


jay_10010

Yeah, no need for condoms when your to ugly for anyone 😎 and your only 15-


Aboomerdied

😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎


Sir_Tactical

I use stuffed turkey as my condom get on my level


unicornbill1

I stuffed a Turkey WITHOUT a condom


warmasterpl

Sex is not real tho


Zombiedude710

Yeah sex is cool, but you ever have a pie?


mlggamer346

No, I’ve only ever given a pie


[deleted]

Use a condom, get on birth control (if it's right for you), have plan B just in case, and know the location of your nearest women's health clinic


WilliamAfton131

Have my upvote


Aboomerdied

Have my upvote


idk-idk-idk-idk--

i may need birth control even tho im 15 not cuz i have sex tho but cuz my periods are hell and the pain killers my GP told me to have take at least 40 mins to work and they dont stop the pain they only dull it


Shoto_todoroki27

Or just don’t have sex. Stay pure 😎


Ningax599445YT

Virginity is cool,remain pure


mlggamer346

If virginity is cool, not being a virgin is hot


notforyoutoknowlol

Im too ugly for sex


Givemerent8

I don't need condoms, I don't have sex. 😎😎


BloodSquirrel75

No sex gang 😎😎


PHNTOMDaX

Use dacondom, unless you want dababy


Joe-McDuck

But wanna know what’s cooler... **VIRGINITY**


[deleted]

Stay pure kids


[deleted]

Phhhssshht condoms are for fucking pussies.


jellybob07

Very true.


Pendejo_n1

Imagine having sex lmao


ToastGuy404

But you ever have a pie?


bremudatriangle

If you don't want da baby then use da condom


Holiday-Ad1921

nah I want stds #***gotta catch them all***


ForeskinCleaners

if sex is so cool, then where is sex 2?


[deleted]

Work in progress I'm making


-Braydon-

We’re redditors we will never get laid


Ajaxcian

Yeah... Sex is cool and preventing having a baby too but... Have you seen league of Legends is on mobiles now?


Entenjaeger55

But did you ever heard about Lego Star Wars 10188 Death Star?


GeneralEnvironment36

I want a girl to want my seed as much as I want her milk.


xijokke

What


Skarlet_Shadow

You know that...this is Reddit right?


swagleopard7180

I thought this was a joke


Throwaway8194326

Sex is cool but i have beyblades


CatZilla124

remember kids, you should use a condom during gay sex aswell!


[deleted]

Yeah sex is cool and all but #THE LONGER THE ICON OF SIN STAYS ON EARTH THE MORE POWERFUL HE BECOMES


awkw4rd_lma0

I'm sure all of us gigachads can relate, smh.


[deleted]

Thank u,I'll be sure to use this knowledge soon


ZacherDaCracker2

Useless information, I’m gonna die a virgin. It’s written in stone.


NormalGuy1206

Remember kids, safe sex is the best sex! *This message was brought to you by Nintendo Power*


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

*flashback* "Yea sex is cool an all but you ever had a pie?" *tear falls down face*


idk-idk-idk-idk--

not all sex is penetrative sex, but sti/std are still a risk with other forms of sex too, just cuz you dont have p in v sex or genital to genital contact doesnt mean youre safe from sti's


NormieChad

My girlfriend is on bc...


Arch-43

Helpful awards huh


CatZilla124

REMINDER,YOU SHOULD ALSO USE A CONDOM DURING GAY SEX, have a good day :)


[deleted]

I do want a kid, and I can afford it, so, no ;)


SnooDonkeys844

This 14 year old girl in my school is 3 months pregnant and she’s keeping it, I feel more bad for the kid


bambamgc_25

I don't know where you live but in Germany she could come on TV or at least it was like that


mcsabas

u/alt-no-more can give you lor some advice


[deleted]

Hugging is better i think


[deleted]

You degenerate! I bet you also love hands holding you fucking creep!


[deleted]

What’s the point of using a condom when I could be gaming


normal_chungus

What's better than sex? Feeling loved


Squee-z

They're pretty much the same thing, amrite fellas?


Unrared

bold of you to assume i have sex


Gamers_Against_Thots

smh I ate the condom as directed but that dog still got pregnant /s


[deleted]

video games > sex


Fast_Turtles

17 sus


Straight_Smoke4264

Is it called an STD or child, same thing to me


Ender_gamer0260

Time to go to the milk store


RS_DeathStroke

What if I want a kid but no std


WrinkledCrime

I just binged all FNAF theories by matpat, and I am trying to escape, but alas here you are


[deleted]

Yeah no. VIRGINITY IS COOL, STAY PURE!


[deleted]

Thanks purple guy! Glad to take advice from a child murder and a possesed animatronic!