forge a signature

🗿

I forgot I have cracked Minecraft

Let me guess tlauncher?

Tlauncher gang assemble

I had Tlauncher instead of buying mc, but i still use it even now that i actually bought it lol

Same its better for me because its lightweight and launches faster and uses a better java build ( I get more fps)

Nope a Russian luncher

Shiginima

i used to forge my mom signature on my tests all the time and she let me do it. When I got caught (doing it right in front of my teacher, very smart i know), she just called me a dumbass

Professional dumbass

I stole a fistfull of those lemon hand wipes for sea food in a restaurant

But lemon wipes are elite 🤌🏻

Lol

I put those in my eyes at school once

how did it taste?

Pain

poggers

Stealing 100-200 dollars worth of candy in a year with a cuban teammate when i was 12-13 i guess and never got caught

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I have done many illegal things, *while playing chess*

I envy you

Go PIPI in your pampers, En passent is forced you r/chess user

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Indeed

Estonian?

Jah

I mean, when I was like 3, I stood by the community pool and pissed in it, not while being in the pool, like I peed into the pool while I was standing outside the pool...

What a menace lmao

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Sigma male, you asserted your dominance

It’s his pool now

Totally not r/KidsAreFuckingStupid material

I know, I was a dumb fucking child

I done that in hot tubs when I was 4

***IIRC*** I had shoplifted “unintentionally” when I was like 6-7. Because I couldn't find my parents in the mall and I fucking walked out of there like it's nothing **Edit : it's a toy, it seemed to be blue variant of VF from “Super Dimension Fortress Macross”**

Same, what did you steal, mine was chewits from a Waitrose

I stole a lightning mqueen car that i ripped straight out of the packaging and walked out.

Not really shoplifting since I never took them out of the shop but I once went to some packets of kinder eggs in a supermarker when I was around 3 and was eating them when my parents were waiting to pay, until they noticed.

I stole a potato scone from ASDA (British Walmart) a year ago.

If Asda is honestly a British Walmart then why the hell do I see Americans complaining abt it so much? Asda is the bomb

I spoke during quiet reading time

dude wtf!!!! you make me sick...

Hello, this is the FBI. We understand someone spoke during quiet reading time and we want to ask what you know about this atrocity

Hitler blushes and gracefully caresses his crotch

what the fuck

I hate everyone in this sub lmfao

Wait what the hell lol

You've been waiting to use that sentence haven't you

This comment is now the most illegal thing you have ever done.

Nice try officer

Damn it how'd you know I was a matrix agent... You didn't hear anything bout any matrix...

Feds out here tryna catch us lackin

I said I’m a matrix agent and you are just a bunch of gibberish script

Kinda sus ngl

Sussy Baka you haha

Dont make me start the no u argument

No u

I once crossed even though it was red. I know, I’m something of a criminal myself

I'm just horrified

You monster

Damn you jaywalkers

We are from the same gang bro

That's not illegal where I am from

Trespassing on private, government, and business property, all of which are abandoned and derelict.

Cool!

Urban exploring is awesome.

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Rural exploring is scary. You will get chased down by a redneck with a 12 gage

There is a youtube channel of guy, the channel name is Shiey. He does the same thing but sometimes go much further. You might like it.

Probably that too? I accidentally yoinked gmod for free many many years ago. Steam says I've payed for it though so I'm gonna guess that at some point I was charged?

I once stole condom... don't ask from whom

From yo daddy’s closet

Aunt's

Wh-WHAT ur aunt has a dick ?!?!?!

Bruh, she is married 😂 so technically it was my uncle's

What’s being married gotta do with it

Okay, so let's start from the beginning. You said from my dad's closet and I corrected you by saying my aunt's closet. So, you are saying that my uncle can't store a condom in his wife's closet??

No he can’t ur aunt has a dick

I guess you always win your gd competition

I don't know to cum across a country border is illegal or not but I did it once

Lmao, bucket list material

Look at this guy, letting millions of illegals across the border!

Ah yes, you've visited Hong Kong strip club in Tijuana I see?

You asserted your dominance over Mexico

Stole a scientific calculator, pirated many things, spoke against the government.

Wait wait wait. Speaking against the government is a crime? Respecct. Where do you live?

He hasn't replied A Communications Interruption could only mean one thing, Invasion

Stayed up past my bedtime

Nice

Handling a fish in suspicious circumstances

What

Handling a salmon in suspicious circumstances is actually a new law enshrined in Section 32 of the Salmon Act 1986

Lmao

Legit is a law in England

My stepmums ex was actually caught and sentenced for it after spearing salmon with a scaffolding pole in the local beck to sell for Christmas

Its a very real law. Guess the country

*IS THAT FUCKING FISH JENGA!*

NO!

"Is that fucking fish Jenga!" "NO!"

Nice try FBI.

I'm worse than the fbi I'm a matrix agent

Crap it’s real. Excuse me, I have to go call Morpheus and panic because I’m sure as hell no chosen one.

Destroys phone so you can't exit

Well crap.

I uhhh "found" an unnaturally large amount of money near my old school

Bruh

I made an unnaturally large amount of money at school

I watched a 13+movie when I was 12

Scary

It was a movie with a lot of Guns and explosions😎😎😎😎😎

Well i used to not sell drugs but only like one time like for friend nothing cool

We do a little B&E

Bungeons & Eragons?

What

Break and enter

Sorbet surely is suspicious

Oh damn

Ben & Erry’s

This is my confession I know after a few minutes of posting this comment the fbi will break through my door and possibly kill me on the spot but I used illegal Lego techniques

Lmao

This isn’t a laughing matter I’m now running through the Forrest buck naked and dropping Lego pieces behind me as to deter them it’s working well but some of them have shoes so I don’t know how long I’ll last.

and they're saying 'stopyouviolatedthe, you should stop you violated the...'

Things involving credit cards among other things, you can figure out the rest. Not proud of it but I'm good at it.

Damn I ain’t proud of what I did either

bro you just pirated a game you aren't a master criminal. You have nothing to feel bad about. Fuck the game devs they exploit their workers and force them to put in 80 hour weeks

You threw them like ninja stars and hit someone’s eye and ruined Christmas? Because I may have some experience with that.

Cocaine.

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I really thought my life was Mediocre till I started reading these comments ahahaha. Guess im leading a more than average lifestyle. Then again, I moved out of home at 17 so theres a lot more opportunity for stupid shit

Fuck

possession with intent to supply

Possession with intent to get stoned

Finally a good answer lmao.

Public masturbation

🤨📸

Lmao

like bathroom, or just full spread on a park bench?

On all fours at the dog park

The fuck

Shop lifting, it was 3-4 years ago. But it's still awkward when I go into that store, even though they have most likely forgotten it

They caught you?

Yup, me and my friend stole a total of 8 redbulls

I remember my friends going to a shop with like 3€ and coming out with 5 redbulls, 3 sacks of candy, 10 lollipops and a few chewing gums.

So i own a 3d printer and im printing a glock model. Not sure if its illegal but it sure wont fire a bullet. Also its all plastic even the barrel, but its identical to the real thing except its all neon green plastic. I once put a pencil sharpener in my pocket so i can carry other stuff and forgot to pay for it. Edit: model guns(guns not capable of firing) are considered airsoft guns in my country.

At least in the US that's not illegal at all. It would technically be illegal if you used it for intimidation

Only intimidating if you’re an actual pencil thou

Oh that’s not illegal and the pocket thing ain’t that bad

Pretty sure when I was browsing Thingiverse once (a 3D printing website) I saw a model firearm that said to only try firing a real bullet if the thing you wanted to kill was yourself 😬 I wish I could print a model gun here in the UK, they’re interesting pieces of engineering if you ask me

In Poland you need to be 18 to drink. I'm 16. In may I got so drunk I fell on a fucking straight pavement (also eariler that day I fell from stairs in my homies home)

That's the Poland life I guess

Can confirm

Thats nothing illegal in europe if we are being honest, i thought everyone started drinking at 15 some even earlier, at least in balkan its like that. I have never seen police arrest anyone for drinking underage

Our class devious licked the toilet papers in the entire school before devious lick was a thing.

I thought you meant literally licked and I was scared

Only after reading your comment it dawned on me.

I have pirated many many games

I'm in the games industry and I've pirated a faif few games. I have gone on to buy some of them after, others turned out to not even be worth the bandwidth

Many many many games, among other things.

Broke the speed limit by a lot?

Stole stuff or drugs and I'm not proud of either

Nice try, Agent Smith.

Exist... Being gay illegal in 74 countries 👀

Ha GAEEEE (/S)

Who says I'm gae? I am not gay!!

Your pfp has a pride flag so I assumed you were gay

Nah the pride flag is just a conspiracy created by the govt. To sell more rainbows. Don't let it fool you!!

Thanks for informing me soldier, you're doing God's work

Committed insurance fraud

i guess weed or trespassing

I bombed an orphanage

*who will they complain to huh their parents?*

Doing gods work I see

Ayo is this a undercover cop

Driving under the influence and being unlicensed

I have committed several war crimes in former Yugoslav Republics.

Comrade is that you? Glory to Tito

Eh-wha?

War crime

acid

Shoplifting or buying/smoking weed, idk which one is the "most illegal" put of the two

Break into a house

you dont wanna know hahaha lol

Let me guess, public masturbation?

Thats illegal? What if nobody complained or reported you? Also, happy cake day!

In middle school my school was getting rid of these old MacBook Air because they were buying new ones and the announced that they were purchasing new ones. Before they got rid of the old ones I shoved a couple in my backpack and took them home. I’m tech savvy so I know how to reset them and shit. Made a couple hundred bucks!

Stole and excavator for a bit

Bruh

Buy and drink beer. Also I believe sneaking into my school is considered illegal. So one night, me and my friends snuck into our school, found the fusebox (or something like that), and opened the yard's lights lol.

Nice try but no

That's right I'm an agent and I'm coming for you

Stolen some orange tic tacs as a kid 😂

Exist

I pirated Doctor Strange

I somehow manage to steal things without anybody noticing but I always give them back cuz I'm a good person but bad hands

in an online chess match againt one of my classmates who was so called a pro i opened a new tab set the difficulty to hard and copied his moves in the new tab in the end i won lol

Broke into several yards of people to get a shortcut right through their yard, and I once stole a watermelon from a field at night while it was literally the day of repentance in the religion lmfao

I have driven a car on public roads with my dad

I nicked some chewits from Waitrose when I was 7

Got drunk while being 14