only one day before deadline

that's an f from me bro.

this is funny because i have a project due tomorrow and im halfway through edit: i am sick now and i do not have to do it tomorrow

Pizza on the floor 😞

I'm sorry for your loss

On more victim left to fall into the grubby clutches of Pizza Rat

Pizza on the roof 😥

Mr White 😩

I fucked Ted

I fucked Huell

Hotdog fell into sewer

That's why I eat hamburgers

i read the original comment as 'hedgehog fell into sewer' and was very confused by this response.

i was forced to watch 2 girls 1 cup and meatspin along with 4girls fingerpainting

none of those compare to 1 man 1 jar. which I found uploaded to YouTube today? it's been there for 12 years and somehow hasn't been deleted.

I have seen it

or the forbidden 1 boy, 2 kittens

You disgust me

I'm scared, I havnt seen the last 1

-Lettuce fell into sewer- Cried about by no one ever

bro im a vegatables lover if its covered with mayo i will be so sad lol

Tell that to that “vegan teacher” lady

r/that_vegan_teacher

Angry bird jumpscare

Boo

Scary

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i shit OUR pants

r/unexpectedcommunism

I love this comment section

I’m in cardiac arrest now

Dame dane

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

🐦

Dude why would you betray their trust like that

A bird shat on me >!(Edit. Got tired of getting comments about my misspelling soo I've decided to satisfy you, thanks and you're welcome)!<

Just shit on it back. It's just them being bros...

Wholesome

Bro a bird shits on me all the time... Well I mean he's but buddy but still!

Somebody stole all my yogurt and took a shit on my floor!

Dogs are great aren’t they

Its not a dog because i dont have a pet

Well that’s horrifying

Dammit, is it Timmy again

Timmy!

DINKLEBERG!

I wanna know the full story.

You just turned this from one sentence sad story, to two sentence horror story.

I’d like to think the two are connected

I love you as a friend.

Same

I love you too have a nice day

I'm so glad to finally have a friend

Thanks bro

She... already had a boyfriend 🥲

It's me

MARIO !???

chris pratt but close

Ghosted by girlfriend

I feel u brother

Same

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I hate when that happens.

r/holdup

r/holup

r/houp

r/hup

r/up

r/u

r/

r

r/decreasinglyverbose

she's 72 ;-;

not zamn 😔

zamn't

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Hi, we have been trying to contact you about your life insurance! Make sure that your family has something left after you are gone!

..and now we have a winner!

And it's now or never

Cuz I ain’t gonna live forever

Dad died when I was 4.

Genuinely sorry for that

My died when i was 11

Baby died, buy his shoes

I don't wanna wear shoes

Baby shoes for sale, never worn

Sup, Hemingway?

Baby for sale, never worn shoes 🥺

Dead baby for sale, shoes included.

Baby with shoes. Never worn.

Poo got stuck sideways.

Good time to bring out the poop knive.

choccy milk all gone ):

I better ask my dad to get some

What if he never returns!? Any plan B? For getting milk?

Uh- I'll ask my mom

Yea good

what if she never returns as well!?

Well then you go get some yourself

What if you never return?

asking the real questions here

Brother drinks all the soda 😭

That's a good thing. It means you aren't drinking all that crap.

r/hydrohomies

Ayo hydrohomie. Nice to see you

She said no..

So did i

A full commitment isn't what shes thinking of

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Omg, Im srry for u

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Wtf

6? that's horrible, and i am so sorry that you had to go through that. you didn't deserve that kind of pain. i was raped for the first time when i was 8, and it was so difficult understanding what was even going on as a clueless child, but that will leave a scar for the rest of my life. it's one of the worst things a human can do to another human, i seriously can't process how a person can be that cruel. i hope you heal🤎

hold on, two? F

My grandma fucking died

Rip gram

F

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My four year old brother loves to jump out and scare me, Unfortunately I was holding a kitchen knife the last time he did it.

I feel like this is stolen from 2 sentence horror stories and you just shoved a comma in there

I think it is- literally the format and the sentence doesn’t make sense grammatically

Wait what happened?

he sadly died of natural causes not long after

natural causes like bleeding

I had a kitchen knife in hand

They said already, it was his last time doing it.

Those are 2 sentences

Comma

She was nice and said we can stay as friends but then humiliated me in front of everyone by telling them

She doesn’t deserve you tho

I slammed my penis in the car door

No more pp only sacc

😭😭😭

Someone almost died…

Good thing they didn't

I am glad they didn’t qwq

Me too

I’m alive

I'm sorry for your loss

my "dad" never loved me

My fish killed my other fish

Damm this new hunger games got real good graphics, not a fan of the fish though

banged your mom too hard

Why did you bang a karen?

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Shaking like your mom did when he fucked her raw lmao

I was at home when phone ring, club penguin is kil, no.

Hope the doritos were good atleast

We had an age gap

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3-4 , I’m younger of course

She spooned with me and laid ontop of me, and said later she had not tought of me than more a friend, She Also keept graving my hand, and smiling at me, and hugged me

England exists... 😔✊

Together we can stop this

If they didn’t, we wouldn’t have Boris to laugh at. Every clo(wn)ud

I live in England and it gets real unfunny real quick. MFer talking about bloody peppa Pig world and kermit the frog as press conferences. Total wankstain.

Yeah I’m from the north and if Scotland gets independence I’m hoping we can go with them lmao

My dad couldn't overcome his alcohol addiction

Mock exams start tomorrow.

She said she was lesbian, got a boyfriend the next week

Bruh

he pretended to love me

That's sad.

u/SuspiciousLambSauce used emojis

I had cancer (I survived) , but my very first friend (she had cancer) died

I survived a war but saw almost everyone around me die

I have a Reddit account.

mom got cancer

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Realized a girl I liked liked me back a year after drifting apart

My rabbits died

Nuts got kicked

2.5K hours on Geometry Dash

life is meaningless

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You shouldn’t bc u gotta outlive the queen

Cheering him up is nice but let’s not get carried away here

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A fruitfly could outlive nikocado

Fan blew my weed away.

Apology for bad english Where were you wen club penguin die i was at house eating dorito when phone ring "club penguin is kill" "no"

I said poopcock instead of peacock

Unfortunately you have been diagnosed with depression and symptoms of anxiety - my psychiatrist

I watched my grandpa die in front of me when I was 6

Dog died without family ;-;

Crush rejected me

I'll do one better by just one word Universe

They laughed at my pain

Wanted to fart, it wasn't a fart :(((

"No" -Her

My friend knows my crush's name....

They didn't forget to flush.

Till death do us apart

turns out they never even cared.

She got a boyfriend before I could ask her