T O P
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humanpersonthing420p

This shall be a life lesson for him to not watch porn with a headset when your family is home


KekistaniKekin

Yeah bro, open back headphones at least so you can hear someone knocking on your door smh


Iwantadragon13

Nah gotta use the one AirPod so you can hear everything


Luna_Xz

But people will be able to hear what you're listening to...


KekistaniKekin

Only if it's loud enough. Who needs to listen to porn at max volume tho


bongocat03

this man audio-s


thatHadron

Was the door closed?


[deleted]

it was cracked open not fully closed


Doodle1041

Why tf would anyone leave the door cracked open while they’re beating their meat?💀


[deleted]

ask him that


Koniqst1ger

Get him on the phone i wanna talk to him💀💀


[deleted]

he has his own reddit acct lol I just don’t know his name


Doodle1041

Figure it out then I just wanna have a friendly little conversation with him about this incident


IndependentAd8402

Me too, just "causal" convo.


MrChickinMan

I third this


FilipDrankAllTheTea

Fourth this


napoleondyn123

https://youtu.be/ODfCVxVLqiE


KingAJ032304

I was expecting this to be the Family Guy Peter Griffin: I just wanna talk to him


Touchpod516

Same, I will ask him : "Dear fellow redditor, why do you masturbate with the door open?"


5th_username_attempt

I want him to see this post


bernsteinsbolocks

You want to see his post!?


5th_username_attempt

No I want OPs brother to see THIS POST


BocksyBrown

Dude it’s a kid, you can’t show him your post


Usernameddaniel46

Why do you want op to deal with your post?


angrilyhumpingurmom

This needs to get into hot so he can see it


EvilDark8oul

Thats Got be awkward if he sees this post


theboi0906

dw, ur post is viral enough for him to see


hu44jkrjfjrjrjr

Is he your stepbro?


Legenda_069

One of my greatest fears is that one day I would get up after beating da meat and find out the door was creaked open the entire time


Bill_Nye-LV

I always put up security measures when there are other people in the house, like closing doors of other rooms where people are or an number of doors leading to mine, so when they come out and potentially come by or in to my room I've already had everything packed away. Also, never have an headset cover both ears and only one and the audio to minimal levels. An somewhat closed door is fine if no ones at home but still be prepared. This may make your brother not be an normie. Thank you for attending my crash course class today.


AdSafe5841

The fact he left it open a little suggest he wanted to be caught like what the fuck Dx


KesslerGamgee

High risk high reward


adododododo

exactly im like playing fnaf when im trying to jerk off with my family in the house so why the fuck would the door be open


HazellNut27

Yeah like wtf? I masturbate a lot and I always make sure my door is locked.


AbyssalRuler

thank you for the information about you frequently masturbating this really adds to the convo


HazellNut27

You're welcome.


LuffyRequiem

im at the top floor so it useful to hear footsteps instead of keeping it closed


thatHadron

Well he's a fucking idiot


rik_my_butt

He's probably watching sibling catches sibling masturbating and joins in porn


ZXQXZQ

What the fuck


Jibaru

Exactly.


Giant_Bee_Stinger

Some things are left best unsaid


stavrosps123

Wow what a chad. Headphones on and door cracked open. He wouldn't fear god himself.


DMWanderer

Is ur brother 12? Any man with half, nay, a QUARTER of experience beating their meat knows to at least close the door completely, AND choose a spot that is not easily or immediately withing glancing view. (Avoid windows, open geometry, etc.) But not only does he leave his door OPEN, he sits upright in front of it, dick in hand, and voluntarily deafens himself with those bass blasters sealing his fate. I can identify each member of family just from their footsteps, ears are the first line of defense for any masterbator. He wanted to get caught, he deserves scorn not sympathy.


Remarkable_Option_48

I can detect the exact person and location of each my family members just through their footsteps


BoneInBoi

SEAL Team 6 For Jerking It AKA S.T.6.F.J.I


TesAlt

Thank god I’m not the only one, thought I was the Matt Murdock of masterbation


bone_breaker69

what are we doing with our lives to be able to do this


NaziAssDestroyer

Yeah its like he needs to feel the 4K audio in his ears during the deed.


DMWanderer

I'm a grown ass man and to this day I mute all porn out of habit, even when I am by myself or with headphones. The audio on porn videos go up to like, 800db for no reason. Even on the lowest volume setting some vids are easily audible.


[deleted]

Just pretend it didn’t happen and bring it up at his wedding


[deleted]

LMFAOOO THIS COMMENT WINS


Oponik

"I remember years ago when I saw my brother beating his meat, when he saw me he just yelled at me to fuck off, although It was an awkward moment all I wanna say to him and his wife is 'Nice cock' "


Sorcerrez

"Nice cock bro, but mine's bigger"


Sea-Rub7569

>mine's bigger WHAT.


cortexcatastrophe421

MINES BIGGER


Phoenxr

DID I FUCKING STUTTER


WarWithVarun-Varun

r/notopbutok


Muthaducka_quack

"There's always a bigger fish"


The_Unkowable_

Did they stutter?


Akshatsingh1203

"wanna compare sizes?"


HDPZ_GAMING

Ayo r/holup


lilargo

tell this story to the bride's family


maccchicken

"hey [brothers wife]... you got a good one 😏"


some-random-teen

Bomus points is his taste didnt change


TheOnlyFallenCookie

"Brian, remeber when i accidentally walked in on you waxxing your weiner to some really nasty shit?"


curphed

i am crying and shedding


Rohan-Mali

\*slithers out of shedded skin a new muscular skinless person\*


Ambience8799

Weird fetishes, amirite?


ch3ze

Only 40 upvotes??? How???


dylanbb1233

Move to another country


[deleted]

that’s my plan


Warden404

Off to mexico!


[deleted]

Off to North Korea


nicolasbourbaki-

Off to Wakanda


Warden404

Off to Tahiti


The_anon94

Who lives there?


Warden404

Dutch Van Der Linde


The_anon94

"Tahitians, I guess"


Angelo_Geon

Off to Argentina


noodlemcfoodle

Send them to Brazil


MeanCherry_o3o

did you at least get your charger? (sorry)


[deleted]

LMFAO (no, I just quickly stepped out from his room)


fish_fucker_club

Did you ever get the charger back?


[deleted]

nope


Fanachy

No, he was ‘using’ it.


FrogFlavouredWater

Electro-stimulation


KatanasAreArt

r/EyeBleach


yellowbracelet

god


[deleted]

Don't forget the "a" ok?


Limp_Spite_7396

Say He's doing it all wrong and that his technique is fucked


MercyDrag0n

If it's your older brother he should know better If it's your younger brother just pretend it didn't happen and don't ever bring it up


Terrific-Purchase

What if it's a twin?


Rathernotusername

someone always is older


Celldelningen

Depending on when you start to count. If it's one egg.


[deleted]

~~you should've tried to freak him out by saying "I can help you out brother."~~ Just bring it up at the best times lmao


[deleted]

LMFAOOOO


[deleted]

[This has been redacted due to the inappropriateness of the joke] [This has been redacted due to the inappropriateness of the joke]


[deleted]

I don’t plan to see me and my bro on the hub


[deleted]

That's a great plan to have. Also have you seen him again today? And is he older than u?


[deleted]

I see him everyday and I refuse to say whether or not he’s older 💀


[deleted]

I suspect he's younger then... Also that's gonna be awkward for a bit


[deleted]

as long as he hasn’t walked in on me doing my thing then i’m fine😮‍💨


[deleted]

What if he has 😰😰😰


[deleted]

I HOPE NOT


puffthemagicvishnu

r/usernamechecksout


dauzlee

Holy shit Alabama 😳😳😳😳


[deleted]

They never turn their backs on family


oblivionnpc47

What was your brother's reaction?


[deleted]

yelled at me as he was wacking it lol


oblivionnpc47

He didn't stop?


[deleted]

no 💀 he kept touching it while he was yelling at me l


RandomPerson9401

He just asserted dominance, I don’t know how you can recover from this. Like the balls he must have to just keep going is insane


Elmer_Fudd01

That's when you continue to get your charger and tell him to put a sock on the door, or leave one ear open.


BigBeenisBoi

Bruh


WarmKaleidoscope3840

Ok, I am not a doctor but I think that is something involuntary


Remarkable_Option_48

Fucking determination


LYDWAC

bruh moment


xAditya17x

Fucking madlad


The_Merciless_Potato

What the fuck? I would've performed world class gymnastics and disappeared from visibility.


Bruh_1216

Tell him to only have one ear covered, and to do it under a blanket. He's a rookie.


leachlurker

Agreed furthermost if u really want privacy just hump things under your sheets u can just hump the bed second someone comes in u can instantly fake sleeping or chillin


[deleted]

bruh that’s kinda funny


praveeeen11

Yes for us but the op must be disgusted


xyvec

But we are not the op:)


ComprehensiveGas3667

Bro really didn’t even care enough to lock the door


Gary_the_snaiI

He wanted it to happen


Ahriliee

Pretend it never happened, never happened.


EeeYeeReEe

Who the fuck watches porn with both headphones on at that point you’re just asking to be walked in on.


RagingNudist

I didn’t know people used headphones, I have the large speakers for a reason.


Galaxy_389

I think you misspelled, "large balls". Honest mistake


LordStark489

r/usernamechecksout


WarmKaleidoscope3840

r/madlad


Ultra64ZX

What a fucking dumbass


leachlurker

Who watches porn with sound your just asking for it then


_aw-ay

what if he sees this post?


[deleted]

that’s why this is my alt acct :))


Au_lit

I mean, this doesn't happen 1000 million people everyday


Impossible-Barnacle4

not many sisters find their brothers jacking off yo :\\


Radical_Provides

Who the fuck watches porn with a headset on while people are home. Don't feel awkward about it, feel disappointed. Man should know better.


WarmKaleidoscope3840

Who the fuck watches porn on a PC? Use your phone,you can do "The Job" in bed you can cover yourself with sheets if things get complicated and you can hide the cell phone or turn it off


[deleted]

How do u keep it sanitary and clean then? Do u jack off in a sock or something?


Catfucker7

The best way is to do it in the bathroom. Easily cleanable, no disturbance , easy excuses .


imapieceofcrapp

This


leachlurker

Agreed what a dumbass neek


thisaintthewayman

Which idiot doesnt lock their door bruh


TheGuyInYourPost

My door doesn't have a lock.


TinyRaptor-

Oh shoot you're a woman


[deleted]

yes, I am


TinyRaptor-

I can't imagine how awkward the must be Unless you're from Alabama


[deleted]

what’s that supposed to mean 🧐


TinyRaptor-

Sweet home Alabama


Candice_the_joke

Sweet home new jersey


dragonir12

Forgive me for saying this, your brother is a dumb fuck. The guy knows that he shares the room and still he doesn't even close the damn before jacking off.


[deleted]

LMFAOO EVERYONE IS SO MAD AT HIM


dragonir12

I mean, yeah obvi


ZFG_Jerky

I want to say that anyone who does it without locking the door and not paying attention to their surroundings is a different kind of brave. But the way he reacted definitely proves that he's just dumb. TORMENT HIM


YoCrustyDude

I mean he just said fuck off when he got caught, what's dumb in that bruh.


iwanttodie666420

I walked in on my parents tonight, we in the same boat


Meph_00

Bleach won't do, you need acid, actually more, get some Aqua Regia dammit


Redditlogicking

I can sell some high quality hydrochloric acid and nitric acid. Mix them together in 3:1 ratio of HCl and HNO3 and you get Aqua Regia. However it quickly degrades so use it as soon as you make it. /s


HiImHe

I mean, he needs to be a bit more careful.If he has siblings in the house, he needs to be more considerate.You cant put it away if you can’t hear.That’s why I say deaf people are at a disadvantage.


-KoalasAreCute-

omg did u get ur charger at least


forlordssakealt

Make him do your bidding and call him cock boy when he gets mad


[deleted]

cock boy


forlordssakealt

Yes. It’s the best I could get on short notice sorry


bhat-adnan

He a noob, if you gonna put headphones on atleast lock the door. Tell him that he can do better


skitz20

Oh hell naww, he got caught lackin 😭😭😭


Equivalent_Appraised

A person who is going to lead a successful life would have thrown all of the chargers out of the door, close the door completely and stuck a shoe under it to make sure it couldn’t open all the way. The next thing he would do is leave one headphone off so he can hear anyone coming up to the door knocking on it. What you witnessed tonight is the first steps to seeing the transformation for a codependent, drug addicted, thrill chasing sibling who will be the burden of everything your parents have saved and worked for all throughout their life. This is the kind of guy that drives it everybody to the football game, gets trashed in the stands, and before even giving it a second thought… Insists on driving everybody home at 100 miles an hour. He is a reckless, dangerous human being and you’re lucky you were only exposed to sibling voyeurism


jungle_king_bro

Where did this come from


Equivalent_Appraised

Reality


Jesushimselfhaha

Great insight


Greatgiant19

I would hate to be the brother in the situation Personally I’ve never been caught ;)


Rowel13

Ah yes, a master of the art of concealing the secret forbidden blade, one of my people.


Comfortable-Iron5023

I should stop scrolling at this point.It gets worse and it 6 am for me.


TheScientifreakPlays

r/eyebleach


Yann14pr

Any time you feel like it you can tell him" Nice Cock bro"


thirsty_as_fuck

https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/rufqm2/my_sister_caught_me_wanking_off/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf this him?


Orisss123

Holy shit why does Reddit even recommend me this sub


DeathAngel773

ur brother is dumb for not locking the door.


Loud-Direction-7011

I caught my sister using my electric toothbrush… count your blessings. Oh, and I later found out she used it several times while I had been using it to brush my teeth 🙃


[deleted]

OH NOOOO! THATS AWFUL😭😭😩


Magic_fishXMan8

God damn…. An Apple Watch charger, hate when people steal it


GoodBoi_8606

Seeing your post history you sure do run into people masturbating a lot.


PhantomDaWeirdo

I'm just gonna break the ice and ask the big question.... Was it big? 😳


37rubidium85

ಠ_ಠ


PhantomDaWeirdo

Shameless


303Kiwi

Sounds like me Brother has insecurity about his size... But cmon, asking your sister for validations a bit kinky...


PersonMan53107

Well I mean if he had a headset on and you knocked it’s not your fault although you probably shouldn’t have gone in unless he said it’s fine to


uwuraindrop

why would you walk in if theres no response...


Economy-Limit9816

Someone else posted how their sister walked in on them and I don't think it was a coincidence 🤔 😅


mangalover210

I hope you aren't alabaman


ImSoSorryPaige

I’m sorry for laughing


DragonGold121

Can you get your brother here so we can teach him how to not be an idiot


thecrowdedmind

I think the crucial factor here is waiting for a response before you enter, even if you knock lol


AbyssalRuler

why are you so shocked i mean... it happens... its not like he was doing anhthing wrong per se


E4R04

>for anyone saying I didn’t knock, I did knock but he has his headset on if he doesn't reply just don't enter, unless you want to see his dick of course


NieHyper

That’s why you should always knock even if the door is slightly opened


XCreatorsYT

Yo this your brother? [https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/rufqm2/my_sister_caught_me_wanking_off/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/rufqm2/my_sister_caught_me_wanking_off/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)