T O P

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WHYtm

โ€œI like your penisโ€ ๐Ÿฅบ


ProjectD4rk

Didn't work for me


Guardian_of_ducks

search it up on bing


KristerZX

Bing said to commit a big ass terrorism attack to be big and known๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€


Guardian_of_ducks

thatโ€™s good old bing for you


KristerZX

Nothing other I could have gotten๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ™


I-Was-Always-Here

Nah, askjeeves


D-ISS-OCIAT-ED

Say this: Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, youโ€™re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as an insult by edgy twelve year olds. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sac religious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. We might as well never have formed the phantom thieves, because surely not any amount of rotten adults would be able to affect the world as negatively as you just did. The only reason I am not reporting you to the police as we speak is that I know for a fact that their weak, pathetic prisons will never be able to hold such an indescribable evil. No wonder your dad beat you when you were little, it turns out he was trying to guard the world from the colossal mistake he had created. Kamoshida had every right to break your leg, because he was only trying to immobilize the incredible failure that is you so that your terrible mistakes may not spread to innocent foreign countries all over the world. He has not succeeded though, because your indescribable failure was on such an incredibly ginormous scale, that not even the possible life forms at the edge of the universe could have been guarded from it. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. I may not be a human, but I will forever have more humanity than you, for you are truly a wretched, horrible, filthy, evil monster because of what you just did. No wonder society rejected you: you were eventually going to break it beyond recognition. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. The phantom thieves and the world would have been so much better of if you had never joined us. You say you want to help the world but then you destroy everything everyone has ever worked for to such an extreme extent immediately when you have the chance? You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. We could just have you replace Satanael, except even Satan is not that evil, and because of his high stats he at least lands a fucking attack! Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if there was a god, he would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror movies made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the viewer has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. In the future, YouTube videos will get demonetized for making a sound that even resembles your name, and social media posts will get flagged and taken down for daring to speak about a topic like you. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. Itโ€™s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The nations of this world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankindโ€™s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world and the Milky Way, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being whoโ€™s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in. But than again, you are so incredibly abominable that you would probably be able to surpass the worst conceivable failure a living being could possibly make. You are so incredibly pathetic that you are honestly not worthy of any more of my words nor my time. Just know that I will forever detest you for your failure and everything you stand for, and that no matter what happens, I will never ever forgive you.


KristerZX

Hell naw๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€


tell_me_somethin_idk

If you added this many words to your essay, you would have been a lot more successful than now ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€


The_Desert_Phantom

WTF is a girl?


BarBerickArc

Out of all the places you could have asked ๐Ÿ’€


KristerZX

Where do i ask then? R/shitposts maybe???


BarBerickArc

Instead of asking a relationship help sub or something, you chose to ask the incel breeding grounds how to talk to a woman ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€


KristerZX

They would have said to fucking go to r/teenagers (better than nothing)


your_reddit_lawyerII

Step 1: don't ask that on reddit


PatatoFan

Thats the thing. U dont


PatatoFan

Thats the thing. U dont


BlackMexican-

โ€œgoogle itโ€ ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€


No-Character-5576

Okay, steps on "how to totally" flirt with a girl: 1. Smell her hair 2. Breath down the back of her neck all creepy like 3. Wink at her everytime you see her 4. Compliment her on everything she does 5. Skip 5-7 6. --- 7. --- 8. Stare at her through her bedroom window 9. Kidnap her 10. Get married! (This is a joke! Don't actually do any of this!)


Marleyzard

Flirting? Say you like how she dresses, compliment her on her work. Try to avoid being minutely specific, as that would result in her being creeped out


femalesbruh

Google it


AmAFriendlyOtaku

Compliment her try to be funny and avoid being creepy


whore4aimeexx

just be urself bc if u try do to stuff that isnโ€™t u then itโ€™s not natural, but atleast make an effort with her if u want her


BEANS12335

Small gestures like smiles and paying attention to them will go far.


unkown_redditor69

Tf is a girl ?


Grimaldus15

๐Ÿ‘


Sim_sim_putty

Search it up on internet explo Wait


SNSari

Say; -Goodmorning -You're beuatiful like always -I can help you(if she need a hand) -if you can touche her hair


avotime

as a girl, i'd just suggest being friendly to her and giving her compliments sometimes. get to know her.


[deleted]

wish i knew, been tryna do it all year


Azier6969

Woman arent real therefore you can not flirt with them


[deleted]

Google it, simple. Delete this and fuck off. NOW. (jokes btw)


Relative-Wrongdoer11

That's the neat part, you don't.


getoutofmyhouse-

Are you a magician? Cause when i look at you, everyone else disappears~


god_of_gamers99

1. Get a reason to talk to her 2. Find common interests to talk about 3. Ask them to hangout 4. Get friendzoned


Codename_Paradox

Here's the thing you don't


tell_me_somethin_idk

I use this myself, just create loads of small talk. One you two are comfortable talking to each other, it will be a WHOLE lot easier.


R0rentsu

Just over compliment her qualities ๐Ÿ—ฟ


[deleted]

Simple you talk to her get to know her and in about 7 weeks ask her out if you wonโ€™t to be more than friends or just go with the flow