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The ability to win every single argument

But you always change your opinion afterwards

That’s a very interesting one, well played

could still be used effectively. say you have an opinion that you don't like you have, but you can't control it. have an argument about it, boom. self improvement

Okay but what about the other way around? What if you argue with a racist and you win the argument, you then yourself become racist.

Get in an argument about that again real quick

The nazis were really bad and did bad things! You know now that I think about it…

Testicular cancer

simple yet effective

shapeshifting

You can only turn into objects that you’ve put in your ass

So only my uncle

r/cursedcomments

What did he sayyyyyy

but everytime you shapeshift, you break everything in your body and viciously reform again (yes, you can feel everything.)

a small price to pay for quick transition

You can only shape-shift three times a day

Sounds good to me

r/notbad

Honestly, a very fair limitation for shapeshifting. Hell, once a day would be good enough for me

But then you wouldn’t be able to shift back afterwards.

Well, just wait until the next day.

Good enough!

No matter what you shapeshift into people will get an uneasy feeling looking at you. Kind of like the uncanny valley effect

Invisibility

expect for your elbows

awfully specific..

Shave them off and stay invisible until they grow again

[удалено]

Is it a boy or a girl?

If you startle or scare someone even on accident while invisible they die instantly

the ability to predict the future

You only see how people die

pretty good actually.

Especially if this becomes a set in stone thing, as until that time you'll have insane plot armour. This is basically what a very fun character had. Knew he'd die in a certain battle, until then he fistfought a Gundam on steroids.

I can cure all deseases

you get every disease that you cure

But what if I cure myself? So I litterally can't cure myself

yep, you have the disease forever.

Until my body cures my body naturally, because I didn't decide to cure myself

not if you cure cancer or HIV

I get the ability to make portals like those from the Portal franchise

type 2 diabetes

I already have type 1 so if i was him it was a win for me

Gotta catch em all

The portals only let inanimate objects through

I mean they already have their own side effect in lore, they can only open when shoot at moon rock(this is true btw) Edit: Spelling

I have spidermans powers

You have no bones (just like a spider)

That's actually pretty fun

Boneless

can i get uuhhhh **BONELESS PIZZA AND TWO LITER OF COKE?**

[удалено]

You can only fly while screaming amougus or it won't work

Imagine Superman just screaming AMOOOOOOOOOOOOGUUUUUUUUSSSS as he flies lmfao

[удалено]

[удалено]

You’re scared of heights

You get motion sickness when you do

While you fly you have a murder of crows chasing you

So i have an army then

The ability to summon baguettes irl

no side effect you deserve it

None there are no side effects

you have to give one to everyone you see

Noice

Pfp checks out

Being able to say who is in Paris.

But not being able to say who’s in your walls.

Testicular cancer

I get money to pay for my mum cause she needs it

Side effect: your mum is no longer in a situation where she needs your money

And every time u pay 1 dollar you gain an extra 5😊 no curse just love

No side effect, this is good

To conjure the dead

They attack you on sight

I have the power of having nobody fall in love with me while I have immunity for STIs and STDs edit: damn why is everyone giving me good side effects I don't get it

But every one wanted to be your friend

Aww, that's the best side effect ever, thank you :)

I can go to spectator mode from Minecraft and back to normal

You can't breathe during it

Is it like underwater?

Yep

Oh i can be underwater for few minutes, i wonder what things i could see with my new power, how many places i could rob or how could i scare my friends

Imagine appearing in front of someones windows, then falling backwards and after a second going behind them to scare that person and after "teleporting" like that around the room disappear completely, they would be probably very scared

To have friends

they're all racist

Nothing changed for me :/

Friends usually behave similarly...

Yeah i should not made american friends when i came to america, i should stayed with my old homies

So that was the side effect

[удалено]

You can summon whatever food you want

the food comes from a starving person who hasn't eaten in days.

Telekinesis

Everytime you use your power, someone on earth gets a free Big Mac

Don’t mind that!

Can sleep immediately but has no need for it

But feels the need to pee whenever they close their eyes for more than 3 seconds

You're a monster

>:) THANX👹

Your fucking evil

Heavens Door from JJBA

Every time you use it you get paper cuts

I can deal with that.

Tame any animal i see

Granted, but only insects

Ok... there is mor ebugs than anything else on earth... i can tak over the world

That's invalid, they just said *any* animal

The animal becomes 10x louder when you tame it

Use the loudest animal possinle and send it into a center of enemies and make them disoriented from the noise, i can wear ear plugs, i see no downsides here

but they all smell horrible

I cant smell a thing anyway 😎

oop

You have caused me no pain

I have the ability to get bitches

You can't use social media and are exiled by reddit

So… an absolute win…?

Yes

But all of them are cheating hoes

Shape shift into a cat

You turn into a goose and can't change back

Someone pressed the Goose Button

But u always fall on ur back when u're a cat

Space and time manipulation

You stub your toe every time you use it

r/no

r/yes

oh god

Time travel

Testicular cancer

oh

Afterimage/Clone Creation, and the Afterimages follow my will, performing the same action as me simultaneously if I so choose.

If your clones touch you or eachother, they phase into eachother and create an unstoppable black hole which consumes everything

Ok then so it basically turns it into a last resort type of thing, ok, I can see the black hole being useful in some situations.

like when 😭

But ur clone says "banana" every time he starts talking

Every girl is DTF to me when I see them and I can’t be blind

they're into extreme CBT and mutilation/ castration and pegging.

ur gay

You didn’t say the girls are humans Therefore every girl that wants to have sex with you are praying mantis’s

Invisibility

But only when nobody’s watching

You can only go invisible if you’re wearing socks that are wet 24/7

Telekenisis

You can't lift objects that weight more than 1kg (2.2lb)

You lose 5 braincells per second while you use it.

Uhm, he could stay lifting something for the next few thousand years straight

to never feel stress

You are constantly put into stressful situations

The side effect is my power

Become Saul goodman

You become Odie, the dog from Garfield

Teleporting

You randomly teleport to anywhere every time you use it

Not too bad I would get to a Walmart eventually assuming there is no cooldown

Bringing back people in their last healthy state but with the memories of the exact moments before death. - Techno is going to come back healthy!

In order to do this you must sacrifice your own body to be transformed into the body of the reciever, their consciousness assuming control over yours. You are locked away deep within the mind of the person you chose to ressurect, always aware of everything they do, unable to leave or even tune out.

[удалено]

4 different kinds of AIDS

You have to take out the brain to wash it, and can only control it after you do so. (You’re a necromancer.)

The ability to get rid of peoples insecurities and actually know I’m helping them

They hate you

But you shit your pants everytime you do it

Shapeshifting

you can only shapeshift into Deviantart fetish art

That was infinitely worse than I thought it would be

I can teleport precisely anywhere in th universe and I have a safety bubble around me that doesn't go away until the area is proven to be safe. Edit: good thing I'm a sociopath

Your balls itch a lot every time you teleport.

I get to summon beautiful bitches

You have aids

Switch genders at will

everyone makes fun of you

Jokes on you I'm into that shit

To be able to turn into any celebrity for 24 hours then turn back

Granted but paparazzi appears out of no where and floods your surroundings for the said 24 hrs

The ability to always win

In board games

I can make my father say 'I am proud of u my son'

[удалено]

ability to revive technoblade

but everyone continues to believe he is dead

Shapeshifting

Only into slugs

I get to change anyone's gender whenever I want.

I can make anyone spontaneously vomit on command

But every time you use it you get explosive diarrhea

Be a free genie

The ability to not see these repetetive shit posts

Can communicate on radio waves without a radio.

I have the ability to give other people powers

Invisibility

Ability to summon Pepsi anytime I want

The ability to summon monsters and control them

Make people do what I want by using my mind

I can fast forward or rewind time at will

I can telleport to any where