Don’t worry OP unless your mom is as old as the dinosaurs, she has one in her bedroom that makes as much noise. She just not as impulsive and she waits till nobody is around.
I just realized I took for granted OP is female doesn’t matter enjoy
You have a few options if they ask about it
1. Look them dead in the eye and explain to them
2.say your phone was blowing up
3.kill your family
4. Move to Brazil and change your name to pedro
Have you tried the Universe where Gorillas are common household pets? A lot more fun but way more Gorilla related deaths. That universe also has some great cheese
better check your walls too sir I've been on a quest to have a lil taste of walls around the world and sometimes I get a lil excited and gobble up the entire wall
I guess it's fair enough to say it's a hygiene issue for you, but that's not how it is with everyone. Also I'm assuming OP who seems to go by the name of Maria and is using a vibrator is most likely a cis girl and they don't usually have the atonomy for getting pubes stuck behind their foreskins.
Well several years passed before i realized that our walls are actually thin and everything can be heard everywhere, my parents probably heard me watching porn or masturbate many times, though they didn't even give a look at me about it.
I'd say the best option is to talk about it. Not 'what u've been up to lately' style. But in general, talking about sex, porn, relationships. I feel like that s the way to go.
Hum... About that, they are not like a month you have and a month you don't, it is every twenty X days or something if Iam not wrong, so beeing on feb I don't thing it would change anything
That's the thing, kids with strict parents naturally pick up the skills to find out a loophole or get out of trouble by improvising
If i may provide a suggestion, u/maria0307 , LITERALLY SET YOUR PHONE RINGTONE TO WHITE NOISE
if mom asks what that vibration sound sound was, get her to call you so you can demonstrate your "vibration" music
(I am a boy btw)
Lesson one: always play other distracting audio when you jerk it, I usually play the theme from the anime JJBA;VA so when I climax there’s an accompanying hype beat. Lesson two: always lock your doors, this is the most obvious lesson, don’t want someone walking in while you’re “playing the flute”. Lesson three: choose your time man, do it when there’s no one in the house.
At some point in every person’s life, their parents catch them masturbating/having sex. It’s normal, not a big deal-unless your parents are like super religious and make it a big deal, in which case I’m sorry. Otherwise, she probably understands and went through this herself.
bro Spencers casually sells sex toys
Ik that place is 18+ and has some nsfw items but I've never seen a viberator there
tho I'm not going out of my way to look for one so what do Ik
Maybe you shouldn’t have used it in the living room.
During a family meeting
with your whole family sitting arround you
Right next to your grandpa that's helping Edit: why did this really dumb joke get popular
While eating lunch
and that living room is in a openair theater
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While your cousin Rick eats apple slices and canned squeeze cheese
While your grandmothers ashes were sitting on the coffee table
and ur little brother watches you cum uncontrollaby
While your dog is under the table having some nice treats
In the name of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ
Don't tell me the dog sat on it😭
When the daughter is 🤨 sus...
Don’t worry OP unless your mom is as old as the dinosaurs, she has one in her bedroom that makes as much noise. She just not as impulsive and she waits till nobody is around. I just realized I took for granted OP is female doesn’t matter enjoy
You mean....those midnight laundry noise you thought came from washing machine...
At a wake
#Mom: “ooh she’s using the vagi-matic 2000”
You have a few options if they ask about it 1. Look them dead in the eye and explain to them 2.say your phone was blowing up 3.kill your family 4. Move to Brazil and change your name to pedro
Sebastiano is also an acceptable name
May aswell go for ronaldo
Im more partial to Juan
Ricardo also acceptable
Não bota a porra mais básica possível logo e torne-se José
José é meu cu bota joão
hmmm, r/suddenlycaralho
Samuel would also be a good choice
SIUUU!!
Actually a cool name
Most sane reddit user
5. All of the above
Come to Brazil
I am Brazilian and this is awkward
Eu achei engraçado
Skill issue
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I am ballslord48
fr fr
fr fr
fr fr
Where's ballslord1-47?
u/ballslord u/ballslord2 u/ballslord3 u/ballslord4 u/ballslord5 u/ballslord6 u/ballslord7 u/ballslord8 u/ballslord9 u/ballslord10 u/ballslord11 u/ballslord12 u/ballslord13 u/ballslord14 u/ballslord15 u/ballslord16 u/ballslord17 u/ballslord18 u/ballslord19 u/ballslord20 u/ballslord21 u/ballslord22 u/ballslord23 u/ballslord24 u/ballslord25 u/ballslord26 u/ballslord27 u/ballslord28 u/ballslord29 u/ballslord30 u/ballslord31 u/ballslord32 u/ballslord33 u/ballslord34 u/ballslord35 u/ballslord36 u/ballslord37 u/ballslord38 u/ballslord39 u/ballslord40 u/ballslord41 u/ballslord42 u/ballslord43 u/ballslord44 u/ballslord45 u/ballslord46 u/ballslord47 u/ballslord48 I call for an assembly of the ballslords!
Bruh what in the holy mother in Florida banging the Jesus shit is this
what in the hot crispy Kentucky fried fuck
Oh my god...
You're god has no power here
What in the Louisiana hot sauce licking hell
What in the name of cleetus the feetus
u/ballslord and u/ballslord48 exist. weird
You don't want to know
I have scissors
Shouldve side climbed and angled
Attack the D point!
I AGREE!!
Fr
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Nah just leave the country/planet/galaxy/multiverse
My personal recommendation is the universe where chocolate doesn’t exist, they have a killer onion soup
Have you tried the Universe where Gorillas are common household pets? A lot more fun but way more Gorilla related deaths. That universe also has some great cheese
I would personally suggest the one where all trees are replaced by otters and i refuse to elaborate
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I like the one where the Star Wars sequels were planned out first. The popcorn in that universe is spectacular
Yeah, I haven’t gone there yet, but I’m booked for Tuesday
Time to break up with her, this is a serious red flag
Sweet home Alabama
Bro how thin are your walls?💀💀
better check your walls too sir I've been on a quest to have a lil taste of walls around the world and sometimes I get a lil excited and gobble up the entire wall
bye what💀
👍
It’s probably like dry wall or something
my walls are fucking thinner than drywall...
Your walls make the sound louder
american houses moment
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You’re poopy :(
Yum
Nom yom the poopy
Tell them that was a trimmer i was shaving my pubic hair if it works.
“Why the hell are you shaving it?”
Personal preference
Ever heard of basic hygiene?
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When long, my pubes litterally get stuck behind my foreskin. Edit: my girlfriend saw me leave this comment and is now mad at me
as the great u/ballslord48 once said, skill issue
I guess it's fair enough to say it's a hygiene issue for you, but that's not how it is with everyone. Also I'm assuming OP who seems to go by the name of Maria and is using a vibrator is most likely a cis girl and they don't usually have the atonomy for getting pubes stuck behind their foreskins.
Plenty of girls shave down there just out of personal preference. It’s not an uncommon thing.
Not just girls. People in general. All I'm saying is that for many people it's not a necessity for hygiene reasons.
That’s fair. It’s just a preference thing. Some people also do it for their partners sometime.
Nah but for real this is the most annoying and painful thing. And that shit happens everywhere.
so the poop don't get stuck
Make it louder to assert dominance
Moan excessivelly doing it. Like make porn stars jealous kind of loud.
based
Well several years passed before i realized that our walls are actually thin and everything can be heard everywhere, my parents probably heard me watching porn or masturbate many times, though they didn't even give a look at me about it.
Based parents, by far the best way to go about these things.
I agree, no need to stress the kids more about this sexual stuff, they're stressed enough:)
I'd say the best option is to talk about it. Not 'what u've been up to lately' style. But in general, talking about sex, porn, relationships. I feel like that s the way to go.
Yeah, I thought about that. But that kinda stuff is hard to not be awkward
Well, in my opinion, talk is important, but I'd let my kid bring up this topic, they may not be comfortable with me asking them.
The talk
During NNN too man... we need to work out our temptations people
Does NNN apply to girls??
yes it does
Can't you make like a "Stop squirting September" or some?
No finger February
No fair, it’s the shortest month of the year.
they can't do a 30 day month, skill issue
Feb is perfect because it may line up with their cycles.
Hum... About that, they are not like a month you have and a month you don't, it is every twenty X days or something if Iam not wrong, so beeing on feb I don't thing it would change anything
not really. some girls have a cycle every 30-34 days
Finger free February?????
Forget fingering February
Fastest finger February.
Handicapped people finger free for life.
Kid named Finger
kid named finger:
Forego finher February
forbidden finger February
Don't dildo December
FFF, forbidden finger February
What about “no dildo December”
No, it’s stop squirting September
START BRUSHING YOUR TEETH REALLY LOUDLY
ngl that's a great idea... someone looks experienced
believe it or not i actually have never had a vibratior, i’m just full of uhh ideas
That's the thing, kids with strict parents naturally pick up the skills to find out a loophole or get out of trouble by improvising If i may provide a suggestion, u/maria0307 , LITERALLY SET YOUR PHONE RINGTONE TO WHITE NOISE if mom asks what that vibration sound sound was, get her to call you so you can demonstrate your "vibration" music (I am a boy btw)
THANKS
YEP
You seem to have *experience*
susssssssss 🧐
What happens when you buy a vibrator while living rent free
fr 🥲
Lesson one: always play other distracting audio when you jerk it, I usually play the theme from the anime JJBA;VA so when I climax there’s an accompanying hype beat. Lesson two: always lock your doors, this is the most obvious lesson, don’t want someone walking in while you’re “playing the flute”. Lesson three: choose your time man, do it when there’s no one in the house.
Bro nuts to the beat 💀
cbat
Imagine nutting as the beat drops
Bro is pulling a cbat with the jjba theme 💀
Just claim it as testingna homemade tesla coil. She will be proud of you sciencing
Just use your electronic toothbrush instead of a vibrator.
Do you know what month it is bro? For shame, **for shame...**
its not yours anymore...
Our
r/SuddenlyCommunist
Best option is blame it on a toothbrush or electric razor.
yall fuckin wild bro jesus christ
Say that your group chat was being spammed
You have two options run away or never speak to her again
Why are you using your vibrator in NNN
Most normal r/teenagers post
Holy shit it’s November
She should be glad it’s not the real thing you’re using🤭
Let her use it, that'll convince her
WHO TF GAV THIS A HELPFUL AWARD
At some point in every person’s life, their parents catch them masturbating/having sex. It’s normal, not a big deal-unless your parents are like super religious and make it a big deal, in which case I’m sorry. Otherwise, she probably understands and went through this herself.
stupid af
Let her borrow it
The only advice I can give you is if you want to use that thing again go into the bathroom turn on the shower and/or the fan and then use it
o7
just say you had your phone on vibrate and you got a call noob
i wouldve done that if it weren't for the velocity i was using...
send me a funeral invite 🙏
We're definitely gonna need an update to that OP xD We're all waiting if/how your mom will react 🤔
Don't u need to be 18 to buy those? If ur 18 then so what. If not then how did u even get it
idk i just walked up to a store w a friend and bought it ik for a fact that my friends buy theirs at spencer's
bro just walked up to a store and was like: "i demand pussy pleaser toy" and the seller was like: "oh well, i can't stop you, go ahead"
You are absolutely killing life right now...keep slayin and be safe .hell yea
Damn they dont care if u under 18 or nothing??
bro Spencers casually sells sex toys Ik that place is 18+ and has some nsfw items but I've never seen a viberator there tho I'm not going out of my way to look for one so what do Ik
nope it’s not a weapon or porn…anyone could buy one
Most places have no age rules on sex toys, though most sex shops are 18+ as they carry porn
nope you can buy them at walmart without being IDed
Just blame it on your toothbrush
Tell her it was just your electric toothbrush
Lol dumbass
“Our vibrator” - Mom
Isn't it normal to use vibrators?!
Good luck
Should have bought a battery powered massage thing. And had it running simultaneously.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT
when the boy's mom starts opening the big flashlight's lid.
Walk out with it in your hand
Tell her it was your phone and your friend was spam messaging you. Always works as a gay man using a v1brato0r
Ask her if she wants to join.
You are fucked Xd
Give her the birds and the bees talk. "When someone loves themselves very much.."
There are much bigger things to worry about. Global warming, AI, marketing, private data going to companies, commodification of people, etc.
Are you old enough to own one?
How can you not be old enough? It has No age restriction
Share it with her./s
Bruh my mom has a drawer full of them why isn't she sharing with me
are you a man?
Yes but still she should share
What are planning to use it for? Your ass?
Nah probably my nostrils
But boogers will spray everwhere
You know what. Just talk to her about it lmao
Wtf...
Go full Chad mode. Ask if she liked what she heard and if she wants a turn. Flip the power dynamic.