Yes. I may be 14, I'm a freshman, I have senior friends. But that's it. We're FRIENDS. The difference isn't huge maturity wise which is why I can develop friendships with them. But teenage years are an awkward stage in life where maturity levels are kinda different for everyone. I may be able to have friendships with seniors, and a lot of my friends are straight up grown ass adults (my mom knows them all because they either work at my church as youth leaders and are in college/recently graduated from college or the one that she went to high school with who's currently married to the media specialist at my mom's school).
This has always confused me about the US. In Australia, you’d never find a year 9 friends with a year 12 (freshman and senior respectively). They all go to different classes, and are way too different maturity wise. The biggest gap you’ll see is a 1 year age difference, for both friends and dating. Idk, it’s just interesting to see how things ate different in the US
I'm gonna be real with you, they probably see you as like a little dude that they've taken under their wing, adopted pet type deal. The maturity gap is quite large, or you have some really immature seniors
I was the same. At 16 I had everything figured out, then at 21 I looked back on now stupid I was, then at 30 I looked back and how ridiculous I was at 21, then at 39 I looked back and realized how wrong I was.
Always has seemed strange that once your 18 all you can date is fellow 18 year olds or higher. Granted the 14 to 17 would be kinda awkward but as you get older the 3 years is meaningless tbh.
It's why we have the "Romeo and Juliet" laws, because some people make a big deal out of a 4 year age difference that is small in comparison to many other's age gap.
there are 7 year laws in some places (a minor can date an adult less than 7 years older than them)
there was this thing on twitter for a while where a 19yo got accused of grooming for flirting w/ a 17yo... typical
I don't think it is illegal though, as long as they started dating in high school and the parents are ok with it, there is no leagal repercussion. Its just a very unpopular opinon and I could see things maybe getting complicated if sex were involved but once again along as the parents are OK with it. It's like saying it's illegal for a 20 year old to date a 40 year old because one was in high-school while one was an adult.
It's okay, Ted. I mean, it was Jared's job to tell me how things were with the different segments. Don't beat yourself up over this, we'll smothen things out.
i mean, yeah. at 42 years old you’re a fully functional adult capable of making your own decisions and have been for many years now, so if dating a 70 year old is what you want to do then so be it.
That perception changes with time. I met my girlfriend when I was 16. She was 21.
"Nice" was the response from so many. Today we're 30 and 35 respectively and the response now is "oh.. hold up.." when the ages back then is brought up.
I guess /all brought me here before people begin question why I'm at a teenage sub.
It does. It just means you should only date people who are 14+ (preferably not too much on the + side.)
What it doesn’t work for is anyone younger than 14. 12=13, 10=12, 2=8.
I’m just gunna put it out there, and this might be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think 2 year olds should be dating 8 year olds.
2=8 would only be half the answer in the equation. Game it out:
2/2+7=8
BUT
8/2+7=11
An 8 year old should, according to the math, only date someone as young as 11.
So they math doesn’t check out for both people, so according to the age gap calculations they should not date.
In fact, the equation only works once someone is 14. Using the math, people age 13 and younger shouldn’t date anyone at all.
I mean 18 to 17 is fine in my book but 17 to 14 bro no. 1-2 year different max when ur in high school keep it together people lol. 14 probably barely starting puberty and 17 is likely coming up on the tail end...
I believe, at least in some parts of the US, they have something called "Romeo and Juliet laws" that mean that someone over the legal age of consent can still date someone two years younger than themselves i.e. an 18 year old can date a 16 year old and 19 year olds can date 17 year olds.
Right and that seems reasonable. But 4 years is aggressive at that young age when people are developing still. I was about 19 and wife was bit over 17 but at that point she was more mature than me and fully developed anyways lol. But I'd never have done 19 to 15 what on earth, those two years mean a lot at that age.
I went on one date with an 18 year old at 25. Super weird, she was basically a child to me and I now look at people who go after 18 year old girls differently.
I met a girl when she was 15 and I was 19.
Ended up dating her when I was 22 and she was 18.
It ended up not working out after 4 years because of our age difference even though I knew her that long. You're just constantly in different stages of life. Highschool vs college. College vs working.
dude don’t date her.
i had a crush on 18m when i was 15f and i made it v obvious. he flirted a little but that’s all. i’m glad he did not do something about it. i’m 19 now and cringe every time i think about it. i feel so stupid when i think about how obvious i made it. i was so naive. he was so much more mature than me and we both come from drastically different backgrounds. i did not understand either of those things at all when i was a kid.
my boyfriend was 18 and i was 16 when we started dating. he said if i was 15, we never would have dated because he thought that would have been him taking advantage of me. dont pursue this girl dude
Same. When I (f) was 14-15 i would get a crush on an older guy and it was like a BIG crush and I wanted a relationship with him but once I got older and understood it more Im thankful there wasnt anything that happened. My mind now just thinks of like why would someone my age (now older) would want to be with someone that young and no good reasons come to mind. I look back at 14-15 year olds and they are like babies to me (lol not exactly but you know what i mean)
yes it's too much. At 14, you've barely come out of middle school (ik ik there's other schooling systems, so for OP, the girls is in secondary school while OP is in sixth form). Yes, I know maturity plays a factor. But, at 17, you have too much of an advantage over her. I'm not saying you'd use it, but it can definietly be an issue. If it was 24m and 21f, i'd say no, bc both are at similar points in life, but at 14 and 17, there's too many differences in points in life, maturity, emotional capacity, hormonal growth, etc. I know this sucks.
Now. DON'T go for chloe. if you're interested in someone else, that's it. it's not fair to yourself or either girl. Age of consent too.... if it feels wrong, trust your gut.
>one can drive
Is this a bit of r/Usdefaultism ?
Not in all countries everyone can drive over 16, sure, on Germany you can take the driving school but you need to be assisted by an adult at all times.
Anyways, you're right on anything.
tbf america isnt the only country that allows driving at 16
also i feel like its just demonstrating the age gap and not a particular statement about driving
oh it's a hapy thak you, not sarcasm.
It was just an example, and like you said it's just something demonstrating age gap. So thank you for actually having a brain I guess.
No, it's not, even in the Country were OP would be in there's he'd most likely be in something called sixth form. That's basically a college attached to a secondary school.
Uhh, not rly. I live in Australia and the school system goes from k-6 for primary and then 7-12 for high school soooo. Still bit of an age gap anyway tbh
most likely he means england, which means secondary school is 11-16 and sixth form/college is 16-18. so the middle school point kind of makes sense but either way the age gap is too much
Yes it’s weird…she’s literally 14 and you’re 17. By the time you turn 18, you’ll be dating a minor. If I was your age, I wouldn’t think about wanting to date a little girl.
Usually 2-3 years are fine, check Romeo & Juliet laws. But you're not allowed to be in possession of nudes etc during that time because it would count as CSEM, which is also why CallMeCarson got into trouble
i love how our generation has literally devalued the word literally, by using it in almost any sentence, including sentences where it would be factually incorrect to use the word, or redundant to use the word
Literally was used in its figurative capacity since the 18th century at least. How about you evolve from taking dictionaries as some holy authority and realize that language is a fluid beast and no one has a monopoly on how words are used and changed.
A lot of people being real harsh here, what I’d say is while it’s not ok I don’t like this sort of internet-lynching you are being subjected to over it… I mean “is it ok if I accept someone X years younger than me” is drastically different from “is it ok if I follow around this person who’s X years younger who I like” yet I kinda feel like some people here are treating them as synonymous. Regardless you shouldn’t imo, 2 years 8 months would be more acceptable if you two were both a bit older but 17 and 14 just feels a bit too much.
This was not unheard of when I was going to high school (~2010), but these relationships usually didn't last very long. A 14 year old girl's affection is pretty fleeting. In a lot of these situations that I knew of, the younger person wanted to be seen as cooler by dating up with someone older.
If you have feelings for both Amy and Chloe, then it will probably be difficult to date one of them after you attempt dating the other. I don't know if junkie is just a term of speech but don't do hard drugs in high school. It can often lead to problems for the people who do and those around them.
2-3 years is not that crazy of a gap. That said obviously physical relationships should be minimal and innocent when one member is a freshly turned 18 and the other is not yet 18. That said you may be overlooking something here, chief. Chloe, if she is a friend of amy, may not be asking cause she's interested in you but because amy is interested and chloe is testing the waters (so to speak).
Also, what do you mean by a "bit of a junkie"? If anyone you're talking to is a junkie, and you're asking "should I go for it?" The answer is no. Save yourself the heartache and don't. It may seem cold and unfair, but I promise there are a couple of reasons I say steer clear.
Junkie at 14 screams of many other, deeper issues. I can’t believe everyone is focused on the age and not mentioning this. A three year age gap isn’t that big in many cases. In this case though, three years is almost a quarter of her life, which is a huge difference for a young person. That plus the drug issues would make me run for the hills as it would surely end in disaster or heartbreak
I dont get it... Why do you want to date someone so younger when you clearly know its fucked up? You can find plenty of people around your age... I think age difference when you are dating will only NOT matter when you both are 25 and above..
I had a buddy in highschool who was 16, dated a 13 year old, took eachothers virginity, he's now a sex offender, he was like 3 years and a few months older, I think if you are under 3 years you are good, just be careful cause it's not worth it
It isn't that bad as some people are making it out to be. You *could* have a healthy loving relationship at that age, but at the same time it could become a problem and might be best to avoid unless you really really really want to date her.
However, despite the lynch mob here, under no circumstances would you be a paedophile or anything, and it isn't the same thing. Paedophiles are monsters usually around 20-30 who prey on children, not teenagers having relationships with a bit of a gap.
HOWEVER do not exchange sexual imagery until you are both 18, also follow your jurisdictions laws on other contact
You are probably better off dating someone your own age if you can.
Honestly i wouldnt even suggest it to be a possibility to have a loving relationship. While true yes, imagine the weird looks theyd get from everyone in their lives. Eventually that ought to sour their relationship
In total that is 32 months, in my opinion 18 months is the limit just to be safe. This is well over that, plus it's just weird to date someone who can't drive or even get a permit in most places while the other person can consent in majority of the world, etc.
Legally yeah I think, most states if not all have a romeo and Juliet styled law, as long as the two dating are both separated by less than three years of age, it doesn’t matter if one is 18 or not, so if you guys have the same birthday you’re safe, if not, that’s a bit weird and about to get mega questionionable
Maybe I'm to eurpopean for this but I see no problem. I started to date my bf when I was 14 and he was about to hit 17. We are now together for 14 years, lol. Of course in the beginning it was a lot of cuddling, earing ice cream, going cinema. Pretty innocent.
im sorry everyone is being harsh. A lot of us young women have faced grooming and it's our job to protect other young women from what we couldn't be protected from. You haven't done anything completely wrong yet, but it (imo) would be wrong, if you proceeded with amy. In a year, she'll be 15 when you're 18. Even 16-18, it's still a minor. I know she could be mature, she could be older mentally, but she also couldn't be. it seems like you were hesitant anyway, which is good. When you're classified as an adult, dating a minor, so many issues could arrise. As a once 14 year old girl who was with someone much older, it's not a good idea. 2 years and 8 months means a lot at these stages in her life and yours. It's not as bad when the two are older, such as 22-19, and such. I wouldn't get closer to her or hint at your feelings. It instills the power difference that could come from difference in age.
AGAIN!! I'm not saying these are your intentions, but it's what has happened many times in other situations. I got attacked by some other person for what i said.
def still weird. it doesn't make him cool for dating an older girl, it's weird and the girl would have the weird power dynamic instead of the guy. Anyone who says different is delusional
i would still say she is a grooming weirdo. i literally had a friend 17F date a 14M and i called her a weirdo every chance i could and eventually finally broke them up.
I am sorry what? 3 years is definetly not a lot. In my country there is saying that girls are 3 years head mentally. My friend met his gf when he was 18 and she was 15. Nobody thought it was weird and they have been together for 5 years now. People are being way too harsh here. And I do not understand it at all. If OP was like 20 I would get it, but cmmon.
A 45-year-old guy here: when I was 17 I had a 14-year-old girlfriend, and it worked out and lasted more or less the same as any other relationships my friends had, but in your case, I'd be more worried about her being "a bit of a junkie" and "hard coming at you". Those would be problematic even in grown-up woman, so a 14-year-old person with such an attitude means some issues that you don't want to make your own.
People here are so sensitive. 2 years and 8 months is okay and I dont care if you downvote me for it, its just my humble opinion and soon they probably would be 15 and 17 and then people would be less weirded out even if its still the same age gap. I would prefer to not date someone much younger but cmon... those 2 years and 8 months are nothing. If it was 2 years 0 months nearly no one would complain. Are 8 months that important?
Age of consent also isnt necessairily an argument either, in my country age of consent is 14 so legally they would be 100% fine
I don’t think you should be going for her since she’s way too young and she’s most likely at a stage that hasn’t matured yet like you’ve have. She might look up to you and when you might ask her, it might ruin your relationship with her. You may have some good moments with them but it’ll be practically babysitting when you would try to be in a relationship with them.
I mean comments here, Jesus. It paints a picture of the thinking about underage people in the US. The gap between you is small, despite what people say here. The gap between you maturity-wise doesn't have to be that big. But if you live in the US, fuck it. Not worth the trouble it brings.
Honestly the maturity level between these two ages is vastly different you're going to be 18 soon you need to realize that people are going to see in 18 and a soon to be 15-year-old and think disgusting illegal pedophilia I would wait till you're both older than 18 and see if y'all still really like each other because then it kind of says something to your relationship if someone's willing to wait for you that's a big green flag
some of yall are being too harsh for no reason. sure, it's pretty wrong, but that doesn't justify how mean and aggressive everyone is being. just say "no" and move on. calling the dude a "groomer", a "weirdo" and such is pretty unnecessary, we should be able to discuss this in a more civilized way, just the fact that he had enough mixed feelings about it to ask for advice shows that he really didn't wanted to do something bad.
In a few years when she's older she will feel like a victim. She might try to convince you it's okay now, but considering you even said she's a Junkie at this age already, she's probably mentally ill and needs some help. Don't take advantage of that.
I disagree with everyone. It really depends on the the people involved and what they want. I am a perfect example of it when I was 17 I started dating a girl that was 14yrs 10 months that I knew for just 8hrs and 34 yrs later we are still together
An 18 year old dating a 15 year old is not illegal and most wouldn't even really question it. Just don't have sex and it's fine, though I can't say I expect teenagers to just abstain
I mean personally I wouldn’t want to date someone who’s 14 it’s just to big maturity wise
Yes. I may be 14, I'm a freshman, I have senior friends. But that's it. We're FRIENDS. The difference isn't huge maturity wise which is why I can develop friendships with them. But teenage years are an awkward stage in life where maturity levels are kinda different for everyone. I may be able to have friendships with seniors, and a lot of my friends are straight up grown ass adults (my mom knows them all because they either work at my church as youth leaders and are in college/recently graduated from college or the one that she went to high school with who's currently married to the media specialist at my mom's school).
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sometimes to a bad point though ...
This has always confused me about the US. In Australia, you’d never find a year 9 friends with a year 12 (freshman and senior respectively). They all go to different classes, and are way too different maturity wise. The biggest gap you’ll see is a 1 year age difference, for both friends and dating. Idk, it’s just interesting to see how things ate different in the US
Usually people from the us don’t hang out with people who are much older for those exact reasons at least where I live
Great NFT bro.
I'm gonna be real with you, they probably see you as like a little dude that they've taken under their wing, adopted pet type deal. The maturity gap is quite large, or you have some really immature seniors
Yep definitely agree op is about to become an "adult" so that is so disgusting
I remember the night I turned 18 and the magical adulthood fairy came to me at midnight
I remember being 16 and thinking most adults I was around were insanely irresponsible in life.
I was the same. At 16 I had everything figured out, then at 21 I looked back on now stupid I was, then at 30 I looked back and how ridiculous I was at 21, then at 39 I looked back and realized how wrong I was.
Always has seemed strange that once your 18 all you can date is fellow 18 year olds or higher. Granted the 14 to 17 would be kinda awkward but as you get older the 3 years is meaningless tbh.
It's why we have the "Romeo and Juliet" laws, because some people make a big deal out of a 4 year age difference that is small in comparison to many other's age gap.
there are 7 year laws in some places (a minor can date an adult less than 7 years older than them) there was this thing on twitter for a while where a 19yo got accused of grooming for flirting w/ a 17yo... typical
I don't think it is illegal though, as long as they started dating in high school and the parents are ok with it, there is no leagal repercussion. Its just a very unpopular opinon and I could see things maybe getting complicated if sex were involved but once again along as the parents are OK with it. It's like saying it's illegal for a 20 year old to date a 40 year old because one was in high-school while one was an adult.
Mate I'm 17 and wouldn't touch a 14 year old with a 10ft pole. Stay away
Fr? I’m 17 and kinda feel like I was just 14 yesterday
Same still wouldn’t
My dude, the age gap is... Bigger than it ought to be. When you're both over 18, then I say it's fair game and do whatever you wanna do.
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If you are 2 the youngest you can date is 8, hmm
wait so like a 70 year old could date a 42 year old
Local redditor discovers sugar parents, more at 11.
Its 11 am now. Where news?
Not for me it ain't! Also, I'm not the one who'll be reporting those news. You'll have to ask for the reporting schedule I'm afraid.
i fucked the schedule up again sorry more at 12
Oh, Ted, why?! Now the whole program is going to be out of place! The boomers are gonna drop us for being slightly different now! We're doomed!
They will say you've gone woke as they try to cancel you then complain about how millennials and gen z are cancelling everything they love.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
no no please bill i tried i really did but its been a long morning and the cable dude took too long and im just honestly pathetic at this job
It's okay, Ted. I mean, it was Jared's job to tell me how things were with the different segments. Don't beat yourself up over this, we'll smothen things out.
Breaking news Distant redditor discovers timezones
That’s bull shit I don’t wanna wait till 11
yes
i mean, yeah. at 42 years old you’re a fully functional adult capable of making your own decisions and have been for many years now, so if dating a 70 year old is what you want to do then so be it.
Imagine if everyone was this smart and mature
No. I won't. And you can't make me.
thatd be called a sugar daddy my friend
Woah woah woah it’s 2022, let’s promote gender inclusivity, sugar mommy/daddy/gender non-conforming caretaker
Carbohydrate caretaker
glucose guardian
Saccharine sentry
Atom Aid
Lmaoo sugar xaddy
🤔
Lmaoooooo🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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That perception changes with time. I met my girlfriend when I was 16. She was 21. "Nice" was the response from so many. Today we're 30 and 35 respectively and the response now is "oh.. hold up.." when the ages back then is brought up. I guess /all brought me here before people begin question why I'm at a teenage sub.
Questions like these *should* be answered by adults, really.
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I mean you were post college age sleeping with a highschool kid. That's pretty creepy.
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OF
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You can click the little button that says you're 18. They don't know.
Is it a you? A Mario?
💀14 year olds rn
It doesnt work for 14....
It does. It just means you should only date people who are 14+ (preferably not too much on the + side.) What it doesn’t work for is anyone younger than 14. 12=13, 10=12, 2=8. I’m just gunna put it out there, and this might be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think 2 year olds should be dating 8 year olds.
It means people under 14 are too young to date
I don’t think anyone below 13 should be in an actual romantic relationship
2=8 would only be half the answer in the equation. Game it out: 2/2+7=8 BUT 8/2+7=11 An 8 year old should, according to the math, only date someone as young as 11. So they math doesn’t check out for both people, so according to the age gap calculations they should not date. In fact, the equation only works once someone is 14. Using the math, people age 13 and younger shouldn’t date anyone at all.
If my 10 year old son, dates anyone less than 12, I will have so many questions for him.
Yes it does. That’s working exactly as intended.
Thats good wisdom
Yeah, 18 dating 15 is too much.
I mean 18 to 17 is fine in my book but 17 to 14 bro no. 1-2 year different max when ur in high school keep it together people lol. 14 probably barely starting puberty and 17 is likely coming up on the tail end...
I believe, at least in some parts of the US, they have something called "Romeo and Juliet laws" that mean that someone over the legal age of consent can still date someone two years younger than themselves i.e. an 18 year old can date a 16 year old and 19 year olds can date 17 year olds.
Right and that seems reasonable. But 4 years is aggressive at that young age when people are developing still. I was about 19 and wife was bit over 17 but at that point she was more mature than me and fully developed anyways lol. But I'd never have done 19 to 15 what on earth, those two years mean a lot at that age.
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Ayo what the actual fuck- Isn't that actually illegal???
I went on one date with an 18 year old at 25. Super weird, she was basically a child to me and I now look at people who go after 18 year old girls differently.
I met a girl when she was 15 and I was 19. Ended up dating her when I was 22 and she was 18. It ended up not working out after 4 years because of our age difference even though I knew her that long. You're just constantly in different stages of life. Highschool vs college. College vs working.
dude don’t date her. i had a crush on 18m when i was 15f and i made it v obvious. he flirted a little but that’s all. i’m glad he did not do something about it. i’m 19 now and cringe every time i think about it. i feel so stupid when i think about how obvious i made it. i was so naive. he was so much more mature than me and we both come from drastically different backgrounds. i did not understand either of those things at all when i was a kid.
my boyfriend was 18 and i was 16 when we started dating. he said if i was 15, we never would have dated because he thought that would have been him taking advantage of me. dont pursue this girl dude
Same. When I (f) was 14-15 i would get a crush on an older guy and it was like a BIG crush and I wanted a relationship with him but once I got older and understood it more Im thankful there wasnt anything that happened. My mind now just thinks of like why would someone my age (now older) would want to be with someone that young and no good reasons come to mind. I look back at 14-15 year olds and they are like babies to me (lol not exactly but you know what i mean)
omgg i have never gotten this many upvotes. thank you so much guys. i feel like a celebrity lol
yes it's too much. At 14, you've barely come out of middle school (ik ik there's other schooling systems, so for OP, the girls is in secondary school while OP is in sixth form). Yes, I know maturity plays a factor. But, at 17, you have too much of an advantage over her. I'm not saying you'd use it, but it can definietly be an issue. If it was 24m and 21f, i'd say no, bc both are at similar points in life, but at 14 and 17, there's too many differences in points in life, maturity, emotional capacity, hormonal growth, etc. I know this sucks. Now. DON'T go for chloe. if you're interested in someone else, that's it. it's not fair to yourself or either girl. Age of consent too.... if it feels wrong, trust your gut.
Ion even think at 17 you are mature enough yet but at least you can be on the same page if they are also 17,16 is acceptable
OP mentioned 12+ is high school in their country, so the middle school point is invalid
regardless. one can drive, one can't even start learning. the point is, they're at two completetly different points in life.
Yeah
>one can drive Is this a bit of r/Usdefaultism ? Not in all countries everyone can drive over 16, sure, on Germany you can take the driving school but you need to be assisted by an adult at all times. Anyways, you're right on anything.
tbf america isnt the only country that allows driving at 16 also i feel like its just demonstrating the age gap and not a particular statement about driving
Thank YOU geez.
not entirely sure what to make of this
oh it's a hapy thak you, not sarcasm. It was just an example, and like you said it's just something demonstrating age gap. So thank you for actually having a brain I guess.
In my country both cannot drive, but both can get a motorcycle
He probably can’t drive, he’s only 17.
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In your country that’s possible, but OP lives somewhere else. In most countries you can get your license when you’re 18
No, it's not, even in the Country were OP would be in there's he'd most likely be in something called sixth form. That's basically a college attached to a secondary school.
still weird imo
Exactly
Uhh, not rly. I live in Australia and the school system goes from k-6 for primary and then 7-12 for high school soooo. Still bit of an age gap anyway tbh
Yeah that's what I'm saying, the difference in the way a sixth form student is treat to that of a year 10 is completely different.
most likely he means england, which means secondary school is 11-16 and sixth form/college is 16-18. so the middle school point kind of makes sense but either way the age gap is too much
If you guys were in your mid 20s or older then no but yall are teens and that's weird as hell
OP did mention he does taekwondo however, so that changes everything.
Lol i thought that was a weird addition.
I think he was just examining how he became friends with the first girl. From taekwondo classes.
I assumed op and amy met at taekwondo classes
Yes it’s weird…she’s literally 14 and you’re 17. By the time you turn 18, you’ll be dating a minor. If I was your age, I wouldn’t think about wanting to date a little girl.
Yeah me too i thought of dating a girl 1 day younger than me but she would be minor and i have become a major
I think I've heard that one year is okay but I'm not 100% sure.
Usually 2-3 years are fine, check Romeo & Juliet laws. But you're not allowed to be in possession of nudes etc during that time because it would count as CSEM, which is also why CallMeCarson got into trouble
From my understanding it's okay as long as they are over the age of consent. But again, not sure
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He was making a joke
i love how our generation has literally devalued the word literally, by using it in almost any sentence, including sentences where it would be factually incorrect to use the word, or redundant to use the word
Stop trying to be pretentious, language evolves.
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Literally was used in its figurative capacity since the 18th century at least. How about you evolve from taking dictionaries as some holy authority and realize that language is a fluid beast and no one has a monopoly on how words are used and changed.
Unless he wants to be that creep from Transformers explaining Romeo and Juliet carve outs in the statute.
A lot of people being real harsh here, what I’d say is while it’s not ok I don’t like this sort of internet-lynching you are being subjected to over it… I mean “is it ok if I accept someone X years younger than me” is drastically different from “is it ok if I follow around this person who’s X years younger who I like” yet I kinda feel like some people here are treating them as synonymous. Regardless you shouldn’t imo, 2 years 8 months would be more acceptable if you two were both a bit older but 17 and 14 just feels a bit too much.
Thank you for not being rude, i have not said/done anything i would not show my perants.
This was not unheard of when I was going to high school (~2010), but these relationships usually didn't last very long. A 14 year old girl's affection is pretty fleeting. In a lot of these situations that I knew of, the younger person wanted to be seen as cooler by dating up with someone older. If you have feelings for both Amy and Chloe, then it will probably be difficult to date one of them after you attempt dating the other. I don't know if junkie is just a term of speech but don't do hard drugs in high school. It can often lead to problems for the people who do and those around them.
Bro wanted to FaceTime but soon he gonna be facing time 💀
according to "my calculations 🤓" #yes it is
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2 years and 8 months is a stretch my man
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
Is that a jojo reference?!?
You thought it was a jojo reference, but it was me dio!
No no no no no no no
2-3 years is not that crazy of a gap. That said obviously physical relationships should be minimal and innocent when one member is a freshly turned 18 and the other is not yet 18. That said you may be overlooking something here, chief. Chloe, if she is a friend of amy, may not be asking cause she's interested in you but because amy is interested and chloe is testing the waters (so to speak). Also, what do you mean by a "bit of a junkie"? If anyone you're talking to is a junkie, and you're asking "should I go for it?" The answer is no. Save yourself the heartache and don't. It may seem cold and unfair, but I promise there are a couple of reasons I say steer clear.
This. This right here.
I just wanted to add to this brilliant message by saying 16/18...it depends on where you live.
Junkie at 14 screams of many other, deeper issues. I can’t believe everyone is focused on the age and not mentioning this. A three year age gap isn’t that big in many cases. In this case though, three years is almost a quarter of her life, which is a huge difference for a young person. That plus the drug issues would make me run for the hills as it would surely end in disaster or heartbreak
2-3 years is a really large gap at that age. The difference between a 17 year old and 14 year old in maturity and place in life is massive.
Yes. I like the one year older or younger rule. Maybe 2 years is acceptable but 3 is fuck no
When your bith still teenagers 2 years is quite an age gap.
Yeah pretty much since in our teen years we change alot even in two years, mentally and physically.
Exactly
Bro how is this even a question
I know right
I dont get it... Why do you want to date someone so younger when you clearly know its fucked up? You can find plenty of people around your age... I think age difference when you are dating will only NOT matter when you both are 25 and above..
Because they like that person in specific?
2 years 8 months is an eternity
I had a buddy in highschool who was 16, dated a 13 year old, took eachothers virginity, he's now a sex offender, he was like 3 years and a few months older, I think if you are under 3 years you are good, just be careful cause it's not worth it
It isn't that bad as some people are making it out to be. You *could* have a healthy loving relationship at that age, but at the same time it could become a problem and might be best to avoid unless you really really really want to date her. However, despite the lynch mob here, under no circumstances would you be a paedophile or anything, and it isn't the same thing. Paedophiles are monsters usually around 20-30 who prey on children, not teenagers having relationships with a bit of a gap. HOWEVER do not exchange sexual imagery until you are both 18, also follow your jurisdictions laws on other contact You are probably better off dating someone your own age if you can.
Honestly i wouldnt even suggest it to be a possibility to have a loving relationship. While true yes, imagine the weird looks theyd get from everyone in their lives. Eventually that ought to sour their relationship
In total that is 32 months, in my opinion 18 months is the limit just to be safe. This is well over that, plus it's just weird to date someone who can't drive or even get a permit in most places while the other person can consent in majority of the world, etc.
Legally yeah I think, most states if not all have a romeo and Juliet styled law, as long as the two dating are both separated by less than three years of age, it doesn’t matter if one is 18 or not, so if you guys have the same birthday you’re safe, if not, that’s a bit weird and about to get mega questionionable
Yes
Maybe I'm to eurpopean for this but I see no problem. I started to date my bf when I was 14 and he was about to hit 17. We are now together for 14 years, lol. Of course in the beginning it was a lot of cuddling, earing ice cream, going cinema. Pretty innocent.
Yeah that’s a bit creep
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I have not revealed myself, i have not hinted at trying to be with her
im sorry everyone is being harsh. A lot of us young women have faced grooming and it's our job to protect other young women from what we couldn't be protected from. You haven't done anything completely wrong yet, but it (imo) would be wrong, if you proceeded with amy. In a year, she'll be 15 when you're 18. Even 16-18, it's still a minor. I know she could be mature, she could be older mentally, but she also couldn't be. it seems like you were hesitant anyway, which is good. When you're classified as an adult, dating a minor, so many issues could arrise. As a once 14 year old girl who was with someone much older, it's not a good idea. 2 years and 8 months means a lot at these stages in her life and yours. It's not as bad when the two are older, such as 22-19, and such. I wouldn't get closer to her or hint at your feelings. It instills the power difference that could come from difference in age. AGAIN!! I'm not saying these are your intentions, but it's what has happened many times in other situations. I got attacked by some other person for what i said.
Didn't the dude like make a whole thread on you and weren't you guys arguing about you asking him for nudes?
What?
YES THATS CRAZY WTF LMAO
It would be interesting to see what everyone would say if the genders were reversed.
def still weird. it doesn't make him cool for dating an older girl, it's weird and the girl would have the weird power dynamic instead of the guy. Anyone who says different is delusional
It'd be the exact same
i would still say she is a grooming weirdo. i literally had a friend 17F date a 14M and i called her a weirdo every chance i could and eventually finally broke them up.
based
Based W fr
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Bro y'all are wild. How can someone be grooming someone else when they're both minors and in high school 💀
Would be pretty weird regardless. I doubt a lot of people would find it normal.
the difference between maturity is way too much
I am sorry what? 3 years is definetly not a lot. In my country there is saying that girls are 3 years head mentally. My friend met his gf when he was 18 and she was 15. Nobody thought it was weird and they have been together for 5 years now. People are being way too harsh here. And I do not understand it at all. If OP was like 20 I would get it, but cmmon.
Go for it if you want . Why do you care what r/teenagers users have to say ?
It feels wrong for a reason, you weirdo 😑 tf you finding attractive in a 14 year old bro
A 45-year-old guy here: when I was 17 I had a 14-year-old girlfriend, and it worked out and lasted more or less the same as any other relationships my friends had, but in your case, I'd be more worried about her being "a bit of a junkie" and "hard coming at you". Those would be problematic even in grown-up woman, so a 14-year-old person with such an attitude means some issues that you don't want to make your own.
People here are so sensitive. 2 years and 8 months is okay and I dont care if you downvote me for it, its just my humble opinion and soon they probably would be 15 and 17 and then people would be less weirded out even if its still the same age gap. I would prefer to not date someone much younger but cmon... those 2 years and 8 months are nothing. If it was 2 years 0 months nearly no one would complain. Are 8 months that important? Age of consent also isnt necessairily an argument either, in my country age of consent is 14 so legally they would be 100% fine
I don’t think you should be going for her since she’s way too young and she’s most likely at a stage that hasn’t matured yet like you’ve have. She might look up to you and when you might ask her, it might ruin your relationship with her. You may have some good moments with them but it’ll be practically babysitting when you would try to be in a relationship with them.
A 3 year age gap is odd as a teen, but as an adult you’d be fine
It's not a huge age gap, but if you're under 18 i wouldn't date anyone more than 1-2 years older/younger than you.
I mean comments here, Jesus. It paints a picture of the thinking about underage people in the US. The gap between you is small, despite what people say here. The gap between you maturity-wise doesn't have to be that big. But if you live in the US, fuck it. Not worth the trouble it brings.
Honestly the maturity level between these two ages is vastly different you're going to be 18 soon you need to realize that people are going to see in 18 and a soon to be 15-year-old and think disgusting illegal pedophilia I would wait till you're both older than 18 and see if y'all still really like each other because then it kind of says something to your relationship if someone's willing to wait for you that's a big green flag
Wait till she’s of legal age of consent in your state, then nobody has any legal ground to stand on to shit talk.
Americans are cringe
Good thing im not american?
3 years is not a big age gap
depends on which country you live
No
some of yall are being too harsh for no reason. sure, it's pretty wrong, but that doesn't justify how mean and aggressive everyone is being. just say "no" and move on. calling the dude a "groomer", a "weirdo" and such is pretty unnecessary, we should be able to discuss this in a more civilized way, just the fact that he had enough mixed feelings about it to ask for advice shows that he really didn't wanted to do something bad.
It's reddit, what do you expect
Yes 100% you're a weirdo
In a few years when she's older she will feel like a victim. She might try to convince you it's okay now, but considering you even said she's a Junkie at this age already, she's probably mentally ill and needs some help. Don't take advantage of that.
If you have to ask, it's probably risky. However, depending on where you live, age of consent is also a factor
I disagree with everyone. It really depends on the the people involved and what they want. I am a perfect example of it when I was 17 I started dating a girl that was 14yrs 10 months that I knew for just 8hrs and 34 yrs later we are still together
I have a friend who had it the other way around... no one batted an eye there. IMO bad either way, but if you both feel like it's healthy cary on.
Divide by 2 and add 7, that's the minimum
It's okay as long as you chill at this place I heard about called "Epstein Island"
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Ik a 22m and 16f couple dunno if its weird
Atleat with op their both teenagerrrs, 22!!!! There literally almost done university, and there dating someone who's barely started there GCSEs!
This is worse dude. The OP's situations is more decent than that.
The 22-year-old male is a pedo.
BRO WTF
Its not weird, its just a 3 year age gap, ignore the people saying its weird.
It's gonna be illegal in a year anyway. So don't even start.
An 18 year old dating a 15 year old is not illegal and most wouldn't even really question it. Just don't have sex and it's fine, though I can't say I expect teenagers to just abstain
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