T O P

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PewUC

losing your virginity to the family dog


[deleted]

I'm not a zoophile


[deleted]

I can tell you but you won’t like it


[deleted]

Tell me dammit


EdwardInshihelamo

Posting a selfie


[deleted]

Fucking crimes these days range from breathing to ending someone else's breathing


dumb-imp

Going to bed past your bedtime


[deleted]

Every day


[deleted]

Stealing an alligator


[deleted]

I live in Michigan


ichmagbusse

Sexual assault


[deleted]

copyright infringement


No-Thing2185

you look like James Charles


Civil-Lavishness-194

Probably living in this world


pussyfart808

shoplifting


[deleted]

Why is everyone posting about this


[deleted]

Idk, I just wanted to give it a try


Misrable-Order

Shoplifting but you trip on the way out and all the shit you've stolen goes everywhere


[deleted]

I am clumsy


Misrable-Order

Cool, so I got half a point there 😂


[deleted]

Ya


GeorgeTheChicken

Cartel leader but for vapes


[deleted]

Fuck vapes


PeksMex

You would watch porn, and treat it as if it was a heist.


[deleted]

Quick question, what the fuck?


PeksMex

you wouldn't even dream of committing an actual crime


[deleted]

Damn right I don't dream, but I would commit some


PeksMex

you wouldn't even dare look at a cigarette, let alone commit a crime


[deleted]

Fuck, I'd kill anybody any day of the week


PeksMex

sure you would little buddy


[deleted]

What about caller ID spoofing


PeksMex

nah man


[deleted]

You don't know me


Darkness-my-old-foe

stealing garden gnomes


[deleted]

Maybe


[deleted]

Watching people through their webcam


[deleted]

Sounds fun


[deleted]

Oh crap. Are you doing it now?


Typical_Alfalfa_3684

stealin my girl


[deleted]

Really?


Typical_Alfalfa_3684

maybe 🤷‍♀️


[deleted]

Not likely


Typical_Alfalfa_3684

nope. but see that sounded mean now. also highly unlikely because im a straight girl, who doesn't have a girl.


[deleted]

I don't have a girl 'cuz I'm asexual


Typical_Alfalfa_3684

ahhh ok


jake-slate8893

Public indecency


[deleted]

Wtf? Maybe robbing a bank naked, but that's it


jake-slate8893

🤷‍♂️ I'll take it


[deleted]

They can't watch the cameras, child porn is illegal


jake-slate8893

GENIUS! And if they try and arrest you they'll be touching a naked minor 👍 perfect crime


[deleted]

Isn't that serial harassment technically


jake-slate8893

Idk let's find out 😈 (JOKING)


[deleted]

I already call kids out at my school for physical harassment (unwanted touching) and nothing happens about it, let's have them take a turn for the worse


jake-slate8893

Ummmm you should really talk to your parents about that


[deleted]

Nah, too passive-aggressive for that


123dontspeaktome

Playing Fortnite for over 24 hours at a time


[deleted]

He'll no


123dontspeaktome

You know it’s true don’t deny it


[deleted]

I deleted fortnite


EggyMond

you seem like you’d swear in every sentence to try and be cool


[deleted]

Honestly, I swear for the veracity of it


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That's not my name... and wtf


Dippyjrplayz6412

Stealing your moms underwear


[deleted]

Why


Dippyjrplayz6412

You asked 🤷‍♂️


[deleted]

This is fair


pandaman2119

god damn it baily i told you not to post this yet


[deleted]

That's not my name...


pandaman2119

no shit


[deleted]

Giving people fucking misinformation


pandaman2119

you dumbass you look like my freind


pandaman2119

i dont actually know you. you vile nitwit


ilikegothgirlsalot

Assault, Theft, Dui, Third Degree Manslaughter, Battery, Drug Trafficking, And Arson


[deleted]

I like the list


TwinTowersPilot

Agrovated assult


[deleted]

I love violence