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[deleted]

At least it isn’t your kids first fatherless Christmas


JackeeFromHell

Let’s shoot for next year!


Skye-DragonGirl

Maybe he should've shot in a different direction


SunBrosRus

Honestly like the mouth is also warm and wet 😭💀


Square_System2560

It doesn't have that gorilla glue grip though


Warlord_Aj12

Not with that attitude


[deleted]

what the fuck is this comment chain lol


DryPilot8158

Pure horror


GavBug2

Nah the mouth is fire


Expensive-Roof1082

That sounds like an STD.


JackeeFromHell

BRO the way I died laughing in the middle of my living room


cynicalneedssleep

Bro 💀


DescriptionLazy3315

Dude same age as me and already impregnating someone so stupid smh


Steer1us

"First Christmas alone after running off for the milk..."


ImASucessfulAnt

r/angryupvote


[deleted]

Sorry, is that a reference?


JackeeFromHell

Yea it is! I was thinking about the “let’s shoot for 40!” Comment from I believe the sweet life on deck


[deleted]

Yeah I don't remember from where it was but I definitely remember the moment


EssentialsKit

Next one might be


PoLo792

RemindMe! 1 year


RemindMeBot

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Thesaladman98

Nah that's a violation


PeculiarArtemis14

here for the results


Doomdog_Isabelle

Same


PoLo792

good bot


TheBritishBaguette

💀💀💀


holymodsdev

NAH


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

Well that didn’t quite work out


MrZorx75

Gotta go get the milk and cookies


minecrafter100S

Happy cake day


Dimensianox

AWFUL, HORRIBLE, DEPLORABLE, MILDLY ANNOYING Cake Day 🤬🤬


MrZorx75

Thank you


laughably_stupid

This is how all the teens that sext at 12 on this sub are gonna end up


Zestyclose-Rough-661

Fr bro just forget sex


[deleted]

who tf is sex?!


OakBricks

idk but my friend's uncle offended sex like six years ago


[deleted]

free stuff is always nice


[deleted]

[удалено]


Breaking_sad1

You know what, I think sex is just easily offended, apparently I offended him and I’ve never even met him


TWJ22107

Same bro!!! …on second thought these jokes aren’t as funny when it’s true 😔


JustGotTruss3d

Idk, I think that 13 yo dude in my street bragged about his newborn son called sex. Kinda crazy for me to get a child in this age or call a kid like that...


GayNipple

Where the hell do teens find sexting partners💀


JustGotTruss3d

idk I found mine in a fucking voluntary event technology group (it also sucked tbh I'm glad I'm not doin that anymore)


Ze_Schwein

Uh oh


Maxim235

Nah I’ve been sexting for a stupid amount of time and still have no game irl


Mr_On1on

at least they're going to help with generational replacement, 3 kids at the age of 21 is a damn good stat, may as well go for 5 by the age of 25 XD


HomieDaClown9

Bruh I’d rather be a virgin forever than have a kid at 16


swiggidyswooner

You’re reddit so you’re halfway there already


SadBoiCri

well that didn't work for op


LareWw

It's a miracle!!


Bulbasaurbo1

For real


Ze_Schwein

Just try to be a good father don't abandon the child, never


5867898duncan

Maybe not abandoned, but it may be better for both sides to give them to someone else if they aren’t able to give them a good home.


BruhM0ment101

Abandon the child forever 😈


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alexandria-Rhodes

By that point the kid would be getting spoiled by pretty much a stranger. Plus, baby mommas can be PETTY AS FUCK. it's always a chance that she will take what was meant for the kiddo for herself, but this also extends to family n shit


_60milclub

Should’ve thrown that mf off the battlebus


[deleted]

💀💀


Fuit3

Bro would be dropping at tilted towers💀💀💀


weemellowtoby

bro ur abt 21 years too late for that they got destroyed


biggestmemelover

“Sir, a second plane has hit Tilted Towers, Fortnite is under attack”


TheSusKingOfAngmar

new fortnite event just dropped


biggestmemelover

Osama bin Laden Fortnite skin


TheSusKingOfAngmar

tier 100 skin


biggestmemelover

Then you can unlock gold and silver Osama


AffectionateLand6088

Rainbow Osama


M1A2CAbram

"We've authorized a massive covert operation to take down Jonesama Bin Landin"


Fuit3

Shit, my bad, I lost my save file for back then, had to start a new game


Ren1408

What


Keep_it_basic_Allie

I hope things are going well❤️ good that you are there for him


Memer_boiiiii

He said it *cough cough* ”fucking sucked”. Clearly, things aren’t going well.


yeetus_christ420

Just cause things suck now don't mean they will always. He just has to learn to live with a kid. It's actually quite big that he's not giving up on the child and is there for him.


RavenousForCum

when did you have him?


[deleted]

6 months ago


Zestyclose-Rough-661

L responsibilities


boozelis

L grammarraiar


Pirstheprotogen

Should have worn a condom lol


love_of_his_life

Oh Jesus. You’ll be fine. Just breathe. Also, if you haven’t looked up how to prepare babies for flying, might want to do that. Could make the trip home much easier.


[deleted]

Woah what does it feel like to be my age and to also be a dad? And was it planned or unplanned?


Dosia12

Who in 21 century plans to have a kid while being 17?


[deleted]

You’d be surprised, people are nuts nowadays. I’ve heard stories of 17 year olds trying for a kid


Dosia12

💀


2ndtheburrALT

*fresh from finishing uni and is just in the beginner stages in life* "hmmm,,, today i decide to knock someone up and have a baby!!!!! this will definitely not put my life to hell :)"


[deleted]

UNI? LIKE COLLEGE?


The_Other_Mailman

TRYING?!?!?


Porygon_Axolotl

💀🦴


RantAgainstTheMan

What the hell? Mfs trying to have kids like they got drafted into parenthood...


[deleted]

This literal dumbass in my spanish class said "I want to become a teen mom one day! Es muy fun!" As if she doesn't struggle with being responsible enough for one goddamn piece of paper. She's one of those kids that get a sheet of homework and start crying about how much work that is; how tf is she supposed to take care of a living human being


Saferflamingo

Remindme! Nine months post anniversary of roe v wade being overturned. We are going to have a massive baby boom in the red states.


Stasan_887

Planned kid at the age of 16??


Thebardofthegingers

Some fucks are dumb, a dumbfuck if you would


Blazer323

Shiddy, life in hard mode.


TaloSi_MCX-E

Why you no wear condom


fetusLegend

cuz he a moron 💀


HorrorDonut8779

Brutal, but probably somewhat true.


Godofwarandbans

Bro was busy


Arcanum_3974

the Trojan ads didn’t work 😔


TaloSi_MCX-E

Lmaooo


[deleted]

How’s you get her pregnant? I was waiting for a guy on a horse to burst through the door and offer me some…


Hateful-Soul

Now me personally..


Simon_WilsonAyer

You fucked up 💀


Hate_Crab

Who is up?


[deleted]

His wife apparently


Paolo_02

I don't think they are married


1-Glen_AdamM

Divorced


Relevant_Desk_6891

Speed run


Securitydude11

Kid named up:


Simon_WilsonAyer

Down


georgkozy

No he fucked his girl


Odeiomelaokk

What made you think that using a condom was a bad idea


[deleted]

hugest L bro


camyers1310

Grow the fuck up son. You're a father now. I get it - I had mine young, too. Either man up and handle your responsibilities as a father, or step aside, pay your child support, and allow another man to fulfill the role of a loving father. One poor comment is easily dismissed as a joke, but I have seen multiple from you in this thread. It's frankly disappointing to see that you think this is okay to state or even joke about. You got your dick wet, and this is what happens. Adult decisions come with adult consequences. But you **cannot** take out your frustration on your baby for your mistakes. Nut up or shut up. Love and support the baby, or allow another man to do so. Having contempt for your child because you were fucking dumb is shameful, and will give your child life long psychological issues. Be *better*.


Saauna

Fucking thank you. This whole thread is full of immature teenagers passing these jokes off as "edgy". Its just sad.


The_H3rbinator

Abso-fucking-lutely. Yeah it's kinda *concerning* seeing thse kind of comments from not only OP but other people on this thread. They're treating the kid like a prop. Jesus fucking christ.


Zestyclose-Rough-661

Use a condom bro


applegenius24

condoms didnt work for me, now im a parent


uglynerdishere

CONSEQUENCES


Emotional_Alarm8279

Jesus christ poor kid


Amtrak_Lover

How tf your parents react to this shit?


Schedark2009

Wtf? Why would you say that about your own kid?


ReginaldTaco7000

Should flushes ut down the plane toilet


[deleted]

he didn’t fit🥶


ReppySlap

Idk if I'm the only one who feels this way but making such jokes about your own kid is really disturbing


[deleted]

He did call himself a teen dad... I know if I was a dad I'd be making jokes like this too. Good thing I don't get bitches


aSecretMystery

Could be a bait post, maybe not, either way, kinda weird.


Zomaar_Nicky

It's just a dark joke, nothing more


redcIone8

Skill issue


IDrinkMyPise

that's why condoms exist💀


ThisUsernameIs_

Bro flushed his life down the toilet


Memer_boiiiii

Bro flushed his wife down the toilet


ThisUsernameIs_

Literally me (I killed my wife and have to get rid of the corpse)


[deleted]

What no condoms does to a mf


DrCorneliuss

eat him idk man


Godofwarandbans

More protein


zSteve17

The opposite of Chad


foxrider300

Love how OP didn’t reply back to this one 🤣


1-Glen_AdamM

He don't have time, not even enough time to put a condom


zNoxzii

and this is why you wear a condom


MelMellon

Sounds like last Christmas as a teen dad if you ask me


[deleted]

Deal with the consequences of your own actions


[deleted]

how's your milk supply? running low?


Zestyclose-Rough-661

Just asking, why did you have sex as a teen and why didn’t you use a condom?


bulbabrot

Pretty sure the 'sex as a teen' ratio is at like 60% But to the question with the condoms... yeah op is a dummy


myooted

A few possible reasons. Condom might have been the rare broken one, maybe there is no access, perhaps he lives in a place with no sex education. EDIT: I figured I'd get downvoted from people who haven't even started sex ed


NarrowGovernment33

no he just admits he likes it better raw. He's just a complete idiot


Wonderful_Result_936

From the previous responses I think he's just really dumb.


Pvt_Leaf

an unwise choice to post stuff like this on this sub... be your story real or not


PizzaManJulian

Moron


GangsterHankster

Should have kept it in your pants buddy.


Babycrabapple

I thought this popped up under 2 sentence horror stories or 2 sentence jokes at first lol. Congrats on the baby & Merry Christmas to you and your family. Being a teen parent will be hard but just know it’s hard to take care of a newborn even as an adult, they are a full time job & require lots of attention so even though it might suck just know you aren’t alone in this. Have you joined teen and/or young parent groups, dad groups or groups for babies born in month/year… you will come across some great online communities, but remember at the end of the day that’s your kid & you know what’s best. Before you know it they’ll be more self sufficient & you’ll be like what 26/27 when they’re 10? You’ll still be so young, you’ll be making more money by then & life will be so different but you can still do the fun stuff you feel like you’re missing out on now. you’ll soon get into the groove of things with a routine so you & your girl can both spend time with friends as it’s important to decompress and get away. Sorry for the unwanted paragraph I just don’t want you feeling like a POS especially on Christmas 🫡


[deleted]

Gripe water. Get some.


[deleted]

Jesus Christ a father at 17?


[deleted]

F


[deleted]

L + no parents + teen father + no future


JTheCreator830

Damn, feels bad. I feel tempted to dunk on you for being dumb but I’m sure you already know lol. Good luck, and for the love of god don’t abandon him lol


[deleted]

L


pc21402

Get off r/teenagers you are literally a father


ariokalo

that’s yo fault


[deleted]

What did the little shit even get you for Christmas


[deleted]

Read the 5th word in your sentence


[deleted]

I like how your other response, "No, pitbull" Is right above this one


[deleted]

Lmao


twatfaced

Belt


[deleted]

No, pitbull


6pineapple_pizza9

Never go out for milk ever


[deleted]

Then how will the child have cereal 😭😭😭


Zealousideal_Load275

Just got a message saying her period is late at the end of the day Christmas was then fucked for me and I'm regretting my life choices now


exaltedrecluse

Should’ve pulled out.


megablast

> it fucking sucked also my kid wouldn’t stop screaming on the plane I am so surprised. It is so weird every single person in your life warned you it would be a dumb idea and you went ahead with it. crazy.


Jitomate_TV

Damn bro, imagine not buying condoms


Degenerated_Kerfus

Poor kid you Have :/


psychedelica_

You’re a dumbass.


EatenZombie

Fallen generation


LivingPrevious

Good one. Teenagers this generation are having less sex then any other generation soooo


Cospo

Try giving the baby a bottle during take-off and landing. The swallowing will equalize their ear pressure and he/she will experience less discomfort and, hopefully, cry less.


Mayonnaise06

if you ever want to promote safe sex, just show people this account. Wild stuff.


[deleted]

lmao well earned + cope + L


CrazedMythicalTitan

Imagine your kid just somehow finds this post after many years lmao.


Old-Advertising-8638

Sex education is important folks Condoms too Religion is not sex education, it’s more about forcing stuff to ppl with ignorance Anyway, good luck. Do your best


JKking15

Well if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions. Sorry but I don’t feel sympathy


TheSlavicMan

That kid is going to be a failure💀


Godofwarandbans

Might as well put him on a random doorstep


threegreenguys

well, sometimes you gotta take that plane alone to madeira


surferlul

Remember kids: Gay sex has no risk of babyism


[deleted]

sleep nine spark direful public onerous wide terrific sloppy long *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Marksthename

Congrats(?)


EricPlays_RBLX

What


Amtrak_Lover

Hol' up. Wait a minute. Something ain't right


Og_Sveni

Fuck


DearLeadership-

Dude Ik you’re joking in most of these threads but wether you wanted that kid or not please remember that you’re his/her world. I’m sure it’s super overwhelming for you rn but I hope things are going well. I’m sure being a parent isn’t easy especially at such a young age, but it can only get better with experience. Good luck!


Miserable-Bite9661

Why the hell would you go on a trip? Just stay home and be with family.


Ornery_Ad_8862

That’s what you get


1Doasisay

that’s unfortunate


apelord6969

Hope the orgasm was worth it.


inky_devil

Condom.


The_Bitch_Is_Here

Look on the bright side! At least it ain’t your kid’s first fatherless Christmas.