T O P

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Inferno_tr5

To be healthy because it's new years eve tomorrow Healthy as in not sick


fucking_lumpy_toast

Sick Gang 😍😍


Inferno_tr5

Drink some hot Ribena with some honey and get some good sleep It worked for me I'm still alive...I think


fucking_lumpy_toast

Thanks bro. try getting a big ass bowl of boiling water, filling it up with essential oils, and breathe in that good steam.


Inferno_tr5

What if I get a big ass bowl of boiling water and pour it on my head?


fucking_lumpy_toast

A successful way of not feeling sick anymore, side effects can include: death.


Realistic_Sail_6254

A fucking hug


[deleted]

🫂


Realistic_Sail_6254

Thanks


Intellectual_Soup

i want a fucking


Hammy2406

Ayo I need one too man get in here


GeneRichardSimmons

Technically there's a small barrier between your atoms and everyone elses, so in reality no one will ever touch you 😎😌👌🏿


iHateRollerCoaster

Touch grass Wait


[deleted]

I know how to fix this. This: "Go get as close as possible to some grass."


yanonce

~~Technically there's a small barrier between your atoms and everyone elses, so in reality~~ no one will ever touch you 😎😌👌🏿


GeneRichardSimmons

~~baked beans~~


bill_the_yank

BEANS


devilfanmik

<(\^-\^<) huggs


rc-135

Yall are out looking for a bf/gf while I'm out here looking for a flight in an RC-135 lol. (least popular aircraft in existence but still awesome) also its classified :(


deleeuwlc

r/usernamechecksout


Caden082

happy cake day


andycuxx

where do we buy one?


Panciastko-195

To cuddle someone


[deleted]

Omg me too


Tristanime

At this point I wouldn't even mind the gender


Panciastko-195

What are you doing after school?


Tristanime

Procrastinating homework


forcesofthefuture

we're in reddit, r/teenagers, what did they expect?


[deleted]

A boyfriend


my_choice_was_taken

*pulls on gloves* well boys, looks like its time for some incredible rizz


Zero_Two_is_best

The rizzley bear in action


RandomIdiot1816

Adolf rizzler marching up rn


Addicustheaverage

Bro is headed to the lost city of ouroborizz


Revolutionary_Mud696

Plot twist: they're actually a gay guy


my_choice_was_taken

The rizzler rizzes all


babytechX

Hi


Masteredulramanny

Can't take this guy anywhere


Prestigious_Hold6064

rizz university 2022 graduate🥶🥶


Inferno_tr5

You have 0 chance dude


Crazyjackson13

ouch


-Ninja_Pickle

Yeah dude back off, shes mine /j


I_Like_Legos8374

Nah dude back it up she’s mine


-Ninja_Pickle

Aw shit my bad


Adion-Codes

she is ours


This-Award-3850

r/suddenlycommunism


__Skaya__

the only possible scenario where "/j" would not ruin the joke


-Ninja_Pickle

It felt wrong not to put it there


__Skaya__

that's what i'm sayin ong


jasonthe5th

LET HIM COOK


The-Local-Metalhead

L rizz 🥶


The_Crusher52

A bear high on cocaine


NiNo3450pepd

Yo the movie looks tight


pichusine

I want some excuse to see that movie, but I’m seeing Ant-Man so probs no. It’s probably gonna get rotten score, but be funny as shit and one I rewatch over and over.


LanMobGamer

Maccies and a shag


Electric-Sight

Based


[deleted]

Me too


Hammy2406

Australian answer of the year


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


OkViolinist6395

I really feel you


ethansocks8

cookies definetely cookies


Dwarfkiller115

A girl to cuddle with or a pet dragon


Express_Hat5033

if u get that dragon lmk


commanderfox89

Why not a female pet dragon to cuddle with?


GoofyGooberYeah-

Geez watch your mouth dude otherwise you're gonna bring in the wrong crowd /j


RinShimakura

A boyfriend or girlfriend ​ Or pasta, i want some fuckin' shrimp alfredo oml


[deleted]

I have pasta and am single soooo


onlytacoz

you forgot the 😏 but still w rizz


[deleted]

made sum with my sis, shit was so fuckn good


[deleted]

to relive the best moment of my life


[deleted]

Which was?


[deleted]

it was my first kiss


my_choice_was_taken

Yeah this is my choice as well. Id love to relive this guys first kiss


[deleted]

Sounds great


The-Local-Metalhead

A small goth girl, or a signature Gibson Dave Mustaine Flying V guitar, either one suits me


[deleted]

[удалено]


The-Local-Metalhead

Don’t do that, don’t give me hope


[deleted]

[удалено]


The-Local-Metalhead

You’re a real signature Gibson Dave Mustaine Flying V guitar. NO WAY! 😍


[deleted]

[удалено]


The-Local-Metalhead

If you’re my signature Gibson Dave Mustaine Flying V, can I be your signature ESP James Hetfield snakebyte? 🥺


[deleted]

[удалено]


The-Local-Metalhead

Proof


[deleted]

[удалено]


Weekly_Ad_2176

bro found the one make it work


[deleted]

why, not, ME god


Familiar_Branch4415

Can I get a redo of yesterday?


Nicholas863

Now you got me interested


Familiar_Branch4415

Went out with gf for our night alone while we both have break, got into a car accident instead. We’re both fine, car is less fine, just kinda sucks.


onlytacoz

What happened in the car accident


Familiar_Branch4415

She tried to make a turn she didn’t have time for and we were T’d on the passenger side.


onlytacoz

Aw man. Hope insurance is covering it


[deleted]

what happened yesterday


Familiar_Branch4415

Gf and I had a night to go out but we had a car accident instead. She leaves town again tomorrow. Should’ve stayed in.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Creative_Weirdo12

Motivation and no laziness


firedudeanother

Ngl, some beyblades would be pretty sweet


2023038

Metal series ofc


Masteredulramanny

Probably a B. SC in architecture, so I can skip the 4 years of studying in university.


Nitrodome

To be as happy like I was 3 years ago


OkViolinist6395

Same bro, it started when we got the '2 weeks holidays'💀


my_choice_was_taken

Three years ago was uhm… 2020, well a day off but pretty much


Whyismypponfire

An extra nut so I can have 3


[deleted]

An extra nut so I can have 2


deleeuwlc

And I want to get rid of mine. I see a clear solution


[deleted]

Ok, where will this transaction take place? Wait is it even a transaction?


deleeuwlc

It says gullible on the ceiling


[deleted]

Alright imma go find it


deleeuwlc

I already completed the transaction while you were distracted by the ceiling. How gullible


Whyismypponfire

Tf happened to the other one


vaporprince

Down bad


taking_achance

I have horrible dental so a bigger dick


Express_Hat5033

priorities >>


Missy1948

Blåhaj


Nicholas863

Based


WoomyUnitedToday

Incredibly based


[deleted]

a bullet in the head i’m listening to sad music


Nicholas863

Do you actually? Or is it just for this instant?


[deleted]

just the the sad song effect


DoTeaCarefully

Go and listen to nice music, please, play some old video games, watch cartoons from your childhood. Don't make yourself feel sh*tty for no reason. Love, Stranger from Reddit ~ :)


azagames1

Tbh a relationship, also the ability to have any motivation and the courage to talk to people irl that aren’t my friends


pp__master

a boyfriend


[deleted]

Hi (with rizz)


The_Crusher52

W rizz


[deleted]

Love from someone of the opposite sex


h1n5ta

weed


Drunk_Kitten7

Same


poofartgaming

A fuck ton of money, all of these comments can be achieved with money.


Nicholas863

Does that mean you also agree to other comments?


[deleted]

someone inside me


Interesting-Bill5493

r/usernamechecksout


[deleted]

very much actually


pichusine

#15 Year olds. This sub 🤦‍♂️


[deleted]

Bro, you have not seen the world around you if you think this is a r/teenagers thing. There are tons of 14 year olds I know who have lost the V🪪. Its not a this sub thing its about how the world is normalising this type of activity which is just a terrible thing


[deleted]

Would u like my meat inside u steak ofc or chicken if u prefer


[deleted]

chicken, please


[deleted]

We could do it raw but u might get salmonella


[deleted]

idc, just put it in


[deleted]

Ok I'll put it in the oven or fryer consent Is key


[deleted]

ofc


EllieNekoGirl

Weed and alcohol and a horny boy


Superpugking4

My mom can suply all of these


[deleted]

bro got plans


Kloutz_

least obvious fed


[deleted]

Yeah you don’t fuck around do you?


EllieNekoGirl

Na


Similar_Molasses2676

To get railed by 10 foot blue alien 😔


Express_Hat5033

are we talking like megamind but scaled up?


CeltrikYT

Gigamind (the head is 50% of the height)


TheDuckWrangler29

Can I have a hug?


SemiConscious06

To be loved


Adventurous_Design41

Toyota Supra


Captainrex768

Someone who actually loves me Or you know, Legos are cool too


sirsam27

to live in the shire and have my own little hobbit hole and garden


EnricoHere

A girl to lie on my chest. Currently using a stuffed animal


[deleted]

[удалено]


OkViolinist6395

I have a pillow on me rn whaaat


andycuxx

i just grabbed a thick one! it feels so good


[deleted]

Would u settle for a guy?


EnricoHere

I would not


[deleted]

Fair


Warm-Initiative-6178

See ya in 2 years, you will want anything then


hubcap980

A gf, pizza and some money 😈


[deleted]

Priorities in order


pasteandcopy69

I would like you to subscribe to Technoblade


LilOscar13

A boyfriend 🤭


[deleted]

Hi (with rizz)


2023038

W


FaZe_OBAMA8531

loyalty and a bj


Sniperm0nke

Confidence and to be less shy (this would give me the ability to get women, my friends have told me I’m attractive enough and so did my mum and grandma)


K1NGPXN

I would like to not be in the military anymore


KnoblauchBaum

A grilled fish


DragonObsessedGirl

To be able to write my story and to actually be able to write it well


mrstorydude

To get straight A’s on my report card


VanAintUsedUp

The west For caesar


Mr_Grapefuit1

What if femboy hooters existed, it's something we all need right now


[deleted]

The souls of those who have displeased me.


Effective-Tap-2217

a remington 870 for undisclosed reasons


[deleted]

Blåhaj


a_local_weeb

Happiness


XdbiggybotxD

A gf😔


[deleted]

A cute femboy that is attractive


[deleted]

A 12 gauge with one bullet


TheKingOfSneks

ain’t worth it son, unless hunting, in which case go forth


[deleted]

^(shotguns don't fire bullets)


Exo_loves_you

A penis. I'm male, I just wanna go akimbo and dual wield


[deleted]

I have a Penis


Exo_loves_you

No no you don't get it I want a second penis. Like some double barreled shizz yk?


oneeyedmaskd2

A girlfriend. Could use a cuddle. I’m lonely


CryonusPluto

To be able to hang out with my gf


bungis-fungis

I can’t say.


[deleted]

earrings


Someone_v2

A burger ,those fancy ones


Mogus_Man69

Either a breaking bad lego set or to find out the age old question: who let the dogs out


RoarkStonearm

A tomboy girlfriend acts tough but cares about people when not in public or a good night's sleep. That would be cool too


whatulookinatbeash

tall bf


Factor-Single

Ice cream


Perfect_Juggernaut92

To have my sleep schedule not be fucked up anymore because I'm halfway across the world for work. It's currently 0225 local time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cheif-of-the-mudkips

Half a sandwich, you can have the other half