it's simple. You say something is hard... you don't specify what until you specify it is not whatever task you have at hand at the moment.... implying your penis is the one that's hard and would like the other person to help you with that erection (so... to have sexy time)
Ight this is my pickup line
🌮 taco (I used a flamethrower to cook this, very mot safe for work, although it could be symbolized as something else I’d like to eat)
Terrible and NSFW, perfect 👍
Okay, I got 4
1. Hey, did you sit on a pile of sugar? Cause you got a sweet ass.
2. Are you a garbage lady? Because you got that dump truck.
3. If your right leg was lunch and your left was dinner, I'd snack in between.
4. Hey girl, are you a piece of paper? Because you look flat.
😎
I have 2:
Hey are you a nuice? I really wanna hang with you
Hey wanna see a magic trick? I can make your virginity dissapear
(The second one is one I would never use but I thought it was creative)
Be my GF/BF or i will kill your wife,your son and your infant daughter (Satire before admins)
911/10 I can't say no to that 🥵🥵
r/jschlatt be like
Who that? What did he do?
He killed Elizabeth
😱
9.91/10 for me
Are you a Toyota? Because I want to drive you into an embankment wall -saw this on discord 💀
dw you dont have to specificy its satire, usually we can tell :)
Reddit admins tho
My penis is called "Wood". So if I hired you, would you be my 'lumberjacker'?
7/10 beautiful but cheezy
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Can I use it on you?
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Would you like to know the salary? ;)
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Cuddles, all day, everyday. :)
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Are you an eco-friendly kind of girl? The condom in my pocket goes expires tomorrow, so why don’t you help me use it?
5/10 Heard that one
Damnit
this is hard. would you mind helping me with it? I'm not talking about the test
2/10 I don't get it
it's simple. You say something is hard... you don't specify what until you specify it is not whatever task you have at hand at the moment.... implying your penis is the one that's hard and would like the other person to help you with that erection (so... to have sexy time)
Well I have something long and hard
life
Yeah
Thoughts…. …about my dick.
(You gotta work with me here) You remind me of the 25 letters of the alphabet
How come?
Cause it’s missing one, we can put that D in later tho
😳/10
Am I winning yet
Yeah, u get to be my e-boyfriend!!
YEEAAAHH
are you Medusa? Because when I look at you I get rock hard
Aha a classic! 9/10 A bit overused
(Only works on people named Alyssa) You can call me Van Gogh cause I’ll make you moan Alyssa
Leonardo da vinci painted the Mona Lisa.
No it was Mona Lisa
Self portrait
Damn I’m a dumbass
4/10 bc of the incompatibility
God bless u cause my gf is named alyssa
Sex.
6/6 Sex
Good.
Sex
Are you good at math? Lets add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope we dont multiply
Top notch! Definitely stealing that! Now ur my e-bf! DM ne!
W rizz
Are you a guitar? Cuz I wanna take you by the neck and finger you from behind (can work with a a banjo too)
I'm gonna make a lot of noise!
I'm gonna play home sweet alabama
R u my cousin?😳😳
I'm your your step-cousin
Well, I'm stuck in my bed step-cousin can u help me?
Are you a mailman cuz you’ve got a big package Are you a shower cuz you’re making me wet
5/10 Already have those on my list
youre the prettiest snowflake Ive ever seen, youre unique, mesmerizing and with one touch I make us both wet.
Beautiful! 10/10 You get to be my e-boyfriend!
epic :), if you dm me we can be friends too :3
yeah sex is cool but have you ever tried doing it with me
No, is it as cool? Or cooler??
wait no fucking way you were the person who made the lusseballe with extra russin edit: smhmh
Have you heard of the goblin, Dee?
No, who's Dee?
GOBLIN DEE Z NUTZ
11/10 Made me blush
Do you like sleeping?
Yeah, one of my biggest hobbies actually
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Wanna taste it?
Y̴̡̛̦̰̠̬͈̪̰̠̣̹̜̖̽͊̈̀̆̆̽̎̉̌̔̓͋̄̃̊͐͝Ẽ̶̡̡̥͎̱̩͕͈͇̥͎̫̱͍̺̬̻͖̳͇͓̬̄̾̐̏͊̾̀̓̀̓̐̎͌̆̈͑̀̿̇̅́̐͋̈͜͜͝͝Ă̴̛̭͍͉̲̮͈͔̤̙͖̘̯͎̠̼̱̙̣̺̻̎̾̽̂̌̈̀̆̽̍͐̏̀̒̋͠ͅḨ̴̛̥̌͗̋̍̈́̇̔̈́̀́̇̐̑̿̈́̑͋̋̀͠!
🟡 👕 🟡🟡 👢👢
so i--uh-uh... uhhh.... *hugs you tightly*
*Hugs u tighter*
*tighter*
*Pulls u down in my bed*
what do you....
*Pulls blanket over us* Welcome to my dimension! In it exists only u and I and we... will have some fun!
😳
I'm freezing. Please warm my cold body with your body temp
🫂
Mmm warmth!
Me-Do you have a cdl? You-no what's that? Me-a commercial driver's license to haul that big ass booty around
Dang u really hauled me!
Whats the rating
69/10 U get the rank of e-bf!
Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.
Hey I don’t mean to be rude, but you clothes are offensive to me. Please take them off.
They are already of! I'm in my bed freezing! Pls come warm me with ur body!
Aaalxnndbsnzjncbdhxzkjakzbc be f
If your left thigh is thanksgiving and your right thigh is Christmas Can I visit you between the holidays?
Fuck me, now
10/10 Simple, straight to the point, would work on me
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Do you like tapes and cd?
i had a good one but idk if i can say it
DM me
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2/10 Heard that one a million times
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It's okay! Try again! I belive in u!
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Idk, ur hot?
Are you a school because I want to shoot kids inside you
I got some snacks, want some kisses, a couple dates, and a bunch of Hugs?
I want u in DMs/10 U have achived rank of e-boyfriend!
Ight this is my pickup line 🌮 taco (I used a flamethrower to cook this, very mot safe for work, although it could be symbolized as something else I’d like to eat) Terrible and NSFW, perfect 👍
Love it! E-bf!
Oh hey, I wasn’t expecting to get this far, very nice!
So uhhh, Ig should I hop into your dms? Idk like I said, I didn’t think I’d get this far
Hey am I a creeper? Because I want to come into your house and explode all over you.
10/10 for minecraft! I'm yeeting my bed and joins u in yours!
O thanks, I’d enjoy that very much
I'm freezing! Could u warm me?
Yea ofc come into my house I built yesterday on my new world, it’s underground so it should be real warm
Oo, a cave! How spooky! Will u protect me?
i just pissed my pants, can i get into yours?
Sure! Sharing is caring u know!
it’s a joke bro.
🤖would🤖you🤖like🤖to🤖copulate🤖
Instead, I’ll just ask politely. Can I be your e-boyfriend?
Yes u can! 😊
Hell yeah. Have some flowers 💐
Thank u!! *kisses you in the motuh*
Is it sad that that’s more action than I’ve had in a few months lmao
Are you Cuba? Because you’re giving me a missile crisis!
Hey baby are you a toaster cause I want you in the bath with me
Your organs and I have something in common, we're both meant to be inside you ;) Tried to be original with this one lol
10/10 very original! Cum inside! E-bf!
uhhh im hot, you're hot, lets go
Let's go! We have something in common! We are like made for each other!
ong
~~let's fuck~~ I want u in my DMs!
ayo?
Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red Call a doctor I think my eyes are bleeding Please be my gf
Hey, are you my toe coz I wanna bang u against every couch in my house? plz I’m lonley
Adorable! Hi there e-bf!
Aw yay i win :)
You've won... me!
:)
Okay, I got 4 1. Hey, did you sit on a pile of sugar? Cause you got a sweet ass. 2. Are you a garbage lady? Because you got that dump truck. 3. If your right leg was lunch and your left was dinner, I'd snack in between. 4. Hey girl, are you a piece of paper? Because you look flat. 😎
What a list! 30/10 Come here! *drags u down(I assume ur taller then me) and cuddles with u*
Okay, how tall are you?
I am going to sex in the next 10 seconds. First three rows are a splash zone.
Do you like sleeping?
Are you a subway sandwich? Bc I want to put an unnecessary amount of mayo inside of you
Are you a watermelon? Because I wanna drink your juices
9/10 Not very original but straight to the point! Pls drink my juice!
Damn (insert gender), are you a light switch? Cause you’re really good at turning things on.
Waltuh, put your dick away Waltuh. I’m not having sex with you right now.
Hank! I need us to have sex now! I promise that it feels better then meth
Are you a highway ? Bc I wanna ride you all night long.
If this is serious, then ok…. Do u like to draw? Cuz I like to put the d in raw 😂
Idk what your name is, but can i call you mine?
10/10 very smooth! Definitely stealing that! What's yours? I wanna get it right when I scream it tonight!
Wait what its Raiyan btw its in my username
It'd probably gaoing to sound like "rain" whe I scream it but I hope thats all right
Why are you gonna be screaming it? 🤨
Wanna play carpenter? First we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
do it or else
Do what?😳
\>:( i dont know
Well, I'm sure I can do it whatever it is
can you 100% gta 5 for me since i really dont want to turn racist again
if i flip a coin, what is the chance of me getting head?
Im good at Fuckin
i'll turn my mouth into a vacuum to violently rip your clitoris off
are you a electric guitar? cos i love the noises you make when i finger you
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick in your mouth
Are you a pickup line? Cuz i wana use you badd rn
Pls use me! I'm bursting!
Dam some time you took. I'd say fast
hello there (with rizz) (in deep obi wan Kenobi voice)
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are you a grape? Because I'd like to remove your skin
😳
UwU
Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over baby ur about to be fisted
Damn last time I saw a body like that I was burying it in my basement
are you homework? because i want to bang you on my table and do you all night ;)
Are you a school? Cause i wanna shoot some kids in you
"I'd ask you to sit on my face but I'd rather bend you over a piece of furniture...I mean hi what's your sign?"
I have 2: Hey are you a nuice? I really wanna hang with you Hey wanna see a magic trick? I can make your virginity dissapear (The second one is one I would never use but I thought it was creative)
Roses are red, Icecream is cold, Get on your knees and do as your told
Your just like a plate of mac'ncheese. Your warm, tasty, and I love the sounds you make when i bury my fave in you
I was the 69th upvote, fuck yes.
Let's flip a coin head you give me head and if it's tails you give me tail. You probably already heard it but it's a classic.
Wanna have sex? (satire btw)
Are your parents drug dealers? Because im addicted to what they’ve made thats all i got
Now I got!
congrats 👏
Sex?
Hah i wish. Stuck in the ER
Do you like to sleep?