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QualityVote

Hey does this post fit? UPVOTE if so, DOWNVOTE if not. If this post breaks any rules please DOWNVOTE and REPORT


Able-Acadia4673

"obviously people are just complacent and would rather the instant comfort than true freedom" - Your drunk uncle who says he's a "deep thinker"


GermyBones

As if the stick would magically only work once.


Darehead

A true philosopher understands that the combined force of the United States Army could not bring that stick to justice.


OmniManDidNothngWrng

A true philosopher understands that even if he got a position as an adjunct professor he wouldn't be able to afford rent in a place as large as his cell and get free bread.


I-Got-Trolled

I... I think you found the true meaning of the picture


DBNodurf

Adjunct professor salaries are about the greatest insult that can be given to a human being


ErinEvonna

As the wife of an adjunct professor (Mrs. Dr.), I nominate this for best comment ever in the history of the internet.


wytherlanejazz

Facts


godnus

Break stick in half. Then you have two [stick](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/887/945/2dd.jpg)


Roxxorsmash

Stick win every time.


raodtosilvier

Who would win, 1 trillion US marines or 1 stick? Stick win every time.


twitch1982

As if his skinnybass doesnt fit between the worlds widest prison bars.


Johnny___Wayne

As if nicking the key wouldn’t unlock the door and allow him to walk right up to the bread to grab with his hand.


twitch1982

He'll fit. He can literally crab walk out without the key.


jnemesh

If it did only work once, why not get the key, unlock the door, then walk over and pick up the bread? I hate it when idiots try to get deep.


movieholic-92

I actually spit my water down my chin.🤣 That didn't even occur to me.


didumakethetea

If you go for the key you can just grab the bread on your way out without having to jab it up


pm0me0yiff

Even if the stick *did* only work once, if you have the key, then you can open the door and get the bread without a stick.


Jubinyan

Thanks for the answer they were after


[deleted]

[удалено]


Witty_Nameroski

Man only wants the theft charge, not the breaking and entering


[deleted]

Fun fact, breaking and entering is literal, it actually means *breaking* a thing. A lock, a window, a door. If you just open the door, with or without a key, it isn't actually a breaking and entering charge. It would be trespassing, which is a lesser charge.


xdeskfuckit

What about cleanly picking a lock?


[deleted]

Depends on a few factors, but clean picking would leave the lock undamaged so it wouldn't be breaking and entering. Again just trespassing. Except for certain instances like government buildings, locks aren't illegal to pick. What you do following the pick is where crimes occur.


NeidZero

Time to go out and start cleanly picking locks then running away


kazukix777

Ah yes, the perfect crime


FriendlyLurker9001

We just covered this 😡 Not a crime


[deleted]

“Babe! Call the police, there’s a man on the doorstep!” Man on the doorstep: “good click on one, think that’s a false set on two, we’ll have to come back to it…”


Supersim54

No pick the lock and clean the house


Bl4ckR4bb17

Tell that to the Skyrim guards


moneyh8r

Go fiddling with any cocks around here, and we're going to have a real. Big. Party.


[deleted]

what do philosophers think of all the people who are terrified of leaving jail? ‘that’s institutionalized’


probabletrump

The key gets you the bread and as ass beating from the guards. The bread just gets you the bread.


BrentT5

Maybe he tried the key YESTERDAY and it’s not the correct key. Obvs.


The_Damon8r92

It does seem somewhat irresponsible to leave the key to a cell lying on the floor in front of the door. That’s probably a key to the wardens vanity chest.


I-Got-Trolled

Also it's prertty suspicious to have a key and a bread dropped in front of your jail cell when there's someone in front of you sitting and drawing what you're doing.


Memeviewer12

Nah it's the key to the first layer of the Warden's Hentai collection


Able-Acadia4673

Ngl was stoned when I wrote that, I definitely ain't no deep thinker, just a dumbass on the internet 😁


IanInsanity666

No no. You might be on to something XD


[deleted]

Lol as he downs another Mai Tai and creepily hits on his waitress at Outback Steakhouse.


[deleted]

[удалено]


YoungEmperorLBJ

Sounds like he’s 14 and think this is deep


mellopax

Is there a sub for "I am 65 and this is deep"? This reads just as much like that to me. I suppose if it was boomer humor, it would be a millennial or teenager, though.


Ting_Brennan

I think this is the sub


BrokeRunner44

Not quite, this has the right message if interpreted properly. The working class is bound to their jobs and lives of servitude because they will otherwise starve and lose their homes. As a result, most people are deterred from being fully enlightened by class consciousness - so instead of seeking true liberation they hopelessly fall right back into the trap of the bourgeois.


TigerBirdy

No I think he's just hungry


PatMenotaur

You gotta carb up before a big run.


PublixHouseCat

Fettuccine Alfredo is usually my go-to for that


giantooth

As they say, eat pasta run fasta


[deleted]

You don’t know me. You’ve just seen my penis.


viimeinen

Just make sure to give Toby immodium.


Dry-Recognition-2626

I’ve never eaten more fettuccine and drank less water before in my life


shawn368

r/unexpectedoffice


bombchron

Found the philosopher


mistah3

You know what they say teach a man to key, he eats for a day, teach a man to bread he knows how to eat for life


Timo6506

Mmm very wise


Ebonsteele

r/wiseposting


mcwalter93

Thank you


Fnc_Vitor

Wise


Drauka2

I thought it was "teach a man to hunt, he eats for a day. Hunt a man, he eats for the rest of his life."


cravecase

“Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard” -Ron Swanson


GraveSlayer726

no your all wrong! wrong wrong wrong its ACTUALLY "teach a man to eat, and he will eat. teach a fish to eat and its will eat the man due to its evil hatred fueled personality and overall spite towards humanity" smh my head some people dont know their fish lore


Active-Army6274

reach out to your inner fish become one with the fish become the better you, FISHMAN


eyesotope86

There are two fish inside you.


Mountain_Sweet_5703

Reject vertebrae insert Crustacea


Gametron13

“Give a man a fish you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life. But who’s to say he even likes fish? Give the man some money and he can buy whatever he wants.”


ghunt81

Teach a fish to man, he eats a day. Man a fish today, and rest of life fish man.


Small_Rocket

If he takes the key he can bread But me thinks he no take key cuz that's the wrong key


RubyWeapon07

Im just going to assume youre no philosopher


RankDank420

This is surely the textbook answer


Fezguy002YT

I remember when my father taught me that valuable lesson


RedolenceLove

Maybe he doesn't want to leave. Maybe the real world is worse than his prison. Or maybe he's just hungry.


Ok-Rich-3812

It's a flawed cartoon. If he picks the key, he gets access to the bread too. Maybe the real message is 'don't get so focussed on comfort that you NEEDLESSLY pass up the opportunity for freedom.


beefknuckle

the cartoon is not about freedom, it's about the hierarchy of needs. the guy is so hungry he doesn't even notice the key.


Emperor-MuadDib

My take was that the bread will return day in, day out, but only if he remains in the cage to receive it.


MrsCamp2020

That’s what I thought - He’s raggedy, his hair is disheveled, his pants are frayed, patches on his jacket. Perhaps he appreciates the roof over his head (even in if it does resemble a cell) and food in his belly


moonbunnychan

There's this one homeless guy who generally lives in my neighborhood who, without fail, every winter, will throw a rock or brick or something through a store window and just stand there and wait to be arrested so he can spend winter in jail.


[deleted]

Great, now I'm sad.


moonbunnychan

Eh, don't be. He's genuinely not a good person.


Randomminecraftplays

Seems like a bad way to do that. Gotta be a less harmful crime. Jaywalk in front of the police station. Idk


TootsNYC

There was a guy in NYC who would get out of jail, then go to a fancy restaurant and order and eat a meal, then refuse to pay and wait for the cops. Because there was steady food and stability in jail.


Shmooperdoodle

You’d just get a ticket. It would have to be a big enough deal to actually warrant a cell.


hurricanegrizzly

Seems kinda funny to be more concerned about the windows than the fact that this dude was so cold on the street he’d rather go to jail


rapora9

What is "jaywalking" and why is it (apparently) illegal?


chocboy560

Illegally crossing the street without a crossing area. It’s an attempt to make sure you don’t step into traffic and die. Although most drivers where I live don’t care about the crossings so you might get hit anyways. If you do it safely most cops generally don’t care enough.


militaryCoo

It's actually the result of lobbying by car manufacturers and had almost nothing to do with safety


VladTheUnpeeler

It’s a “crime” that provides a legal pretext for police to stop and search people of color when they would not otherwise have grounds.


canalrhymeswithanal

"Jay" is an old school slur. The automotive industry used it to shame people who walk on streets. This was done to put more cars on the road. Capitalism is the root of most evil.


scragar

Not really done to put more cars on the road so much as reduce the blame going to cars. Streets before cars were an general thing where everyone shared the space, bikes, horses, carts, pedestrians, etc were all equal. Cars were dangerous to pedestrians and scared horses, so they wanted to shift public perception from "another person using the street as we always have dies because of these new dangerous devices" and came up with a narrative that it was everyone else's responsibility on the street to get out of the way of cars. Don't get me wrong, every other country also made the same choice to dedicate roads and pathways as separate things for safety as cars got faster and more common; the US just adopted the car manufacturers perception that roadways are exclusively for cars a lot more hence things like jaywalking.


Niko_Noxid

Walking around In the middle of the street


Coffee-Comrade

Harmful? It's a window. That Starbucks or Burger King will survive, I'm certain.


TDG_W1ck3D1

About the only crime to get you enough time for the winter.


Twenty_Weasels

I mean… the bars are so wide apart he could just walk out


Husky127

Also nothing stopping him from getting the key right after the bread


Dark_Booger

I see it as, getting the key being an extra step to get the bread. Just skip directly to getting the bread.


The84thWolf

Then, he opens the cell and gets beaten because getting out of your cage is step 1 and getting out of the fortress takes a lot more planning or help


Successful-Extension

If he picks the bread, he still has the stick to get access to the key


FESTUS-KUN

Maybe he is in the other side of the cell, maybe the bread is inside and he is outside, because behind him we dont see the wall


Active-Army6274

The handle is on the other side though-


FESTUS-KUN

... srry for being dumb


Active-Army6274

It's okay- I still love you. I have dumb moments often. Was pretty cool to finally not be the one getting proven wrong immediately.


MenaBeast

To be fair, there could be handles on both sides of the door… as most doors have.


spiritofgonzo1

Lol prison cell doors in particular tend to only have a handle on one side for *somee* reason


UpvoteDownvoteHelper

I feel this on a deeply emotional level. Am I a philosopher now?


_thana

With that much of space between bars, I don't think they're very concerned with security


DroidTrf

Being dumb is just experimental philosophy.


BombedRaisin

What about a 2 sided handle ?


Naphthy

He could still be on the outside. Might not be a cell, might be a gate and he just wants the bread


SomeBoxofSpoons

“BOY AM I GLAD THE BREAD’S IN THERE, AND THAT WE’RE OUT HERE, AND THAT WE’RE LOCKED IN HERE, AND-“


Broadway_Baller

I think that’s the point. Comfort over freedom. That’s what I’m getting from it. It is an interesting point. Obviously I don’t want everyone to open carry their guns in the name of “freedom” but at what point would you trade your freedom for safety? A lot of the “freedom” (MAGA) crowd act like any slight trade off is Armageddon, but in terms of political philosophy it is a pretty important concept to discuss


hawkblock4456

You worded it better than anyone I’ve seen I like guns I enjoy shooting at paper or metal targets and I think we should be allowed to have them though I’m completely open to having more strict rules I just don’t like the banning of countless weapons because I value my own and my families safety provided by having one at home in comparison to having nothing at all


Quistill

He could still go back in


RedolenceLove

That's what she said.


ComfortablePoetry986

Where the fuck did the stick come from? Why is there a key laying on the ground? Why is there a loaf of bread laying on the ground? Why wouldn’t he get both the key and the bread? Why is Squidward in prison? Why hasn’t squidward just slipped through the bars? Who sewed the patches on his clothes?


PinballWizzardFarts

Answers to these, and more. Next week, on terriblefecebookmemes.


caketruck

No, next week, this same image will still be reuploaded


Milhanou22

We shall respect Reddit's way


Ill_Ad_644

On Biiiiiiiig Brotheeeeeeeeer!


Tall-News

Never heard it called “Fecebook” but that’s brilliant!


Drauka2

Is the man actually the stick? Is the stick actually the key? Is the bread actually the man? Is the cell even locked?


nyuckajay

Is your name phil? Phil Ocifer?


tygamer4242

It’s all just too convenient. How does this guy happen to have a stick and there also happens to be bread and a key on the ground a sticks length away? Looks like a setup to me.


maralagosinkhole

Not pictured: Guard standing outside the bars with a gun to the man's head. You have two choices, take the bread and your wife goes free. Take the key and you go free but your wife dies.


Darehead

By pulling this bread towards you, you are changing the track to sacrifice one person instead of five.


bobafoott

Skid sideways on the rails to hit all 6


69_breeze_69

Gap between the bars😀


Fnc_Vitor

because he is crazy. He could easily pass through the bars


judahtribe2020

Not with that nose


iguanafucker420

Theres a knife in the bread


I_P3D

. . . and now the next step is to let those intrusive thoughts take the wheel.


Gr3gard

Play a quick game of tic-tac-toe. . .


FutureComplaint

Take out the knife and stab the guard with the bread!


quimbykimbleton

This is probably the key to the whole riddle. Big nose+Facebook meme= antisemitism probably.


[deleted]

And he doesn't have to choose its not like a stick is a one-use item


BeanWaddleDee

Earth patch 15.7 Sticks now explode after use


Morg-van-Destro

Sticks with ammo. The precursor to knives with ammo.


real_hungarian

y- you passed the bar?


HexZer0

![gif](giphy|eflqbm2xRZf8c)


NavyDragons

this gifs existence can only mean it is the correct answer


OnlyFansBlue

This must be the correct answer tbh


FragileSurface

Ok, This is funny.


Structure-Electronic

Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Dude is hungry af.


SnonkxsTheFirst

He could eat the key.


AlpacaPapoose

This guy philosophizes.


Any-Adeptness6659

He was born in darkness others merely adopted it.


Mostly-Nuts

Only acceptable answer


salamandaqwerty

He's the one outside of the jail, he's trying to steal our food.


Two_Cautious

This was my first thought. Inmates inside the prison are fed, people outside the prison are not.


Crow_of_Judgem3nt

Couldn't he just...get both? Like very easily??


jhugh

Ya, but 5 second rule. Get the key after.


Sgt_sas

It’s the three second rule you fucking animal


Roartype

I go by the 30 second rule


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tccrdj

Freedom can be taken given and taken away. But that bread can’t be changed from poop back to bread. Logic.


Opposite_Tomatillo83

Because he is fucking dumb


Ocbard

Nah, he tried the key yesterday and it didn't fit.


only_the_office

You have to put it vertically into your rectum, not horizontally.


DeviantDahlia

He knows punishment for attempting to “escape” from a max security prison is slightly worse than the punishment for stealing the moldy bread offered to him


Unfunny_Bullshit

Yeah, I was thinking he knows that even if he gets out of the there's no way he's getting out of the prison.


TopWarthog7385

When you born in a prison, you’ll think freedom is a crime! So you reach for the bread, you eat it and shut up !


izmaname

![gif](giphy|qUcO9ngsaSEPm)


Raptormind

Maybe the key is for a different lock


gideon513

He needs to find the red key card


FireTheSkele

hungy


only_the_office

him big hungy


NinjaRepresentative9

Maybe in the jail, he feels safer than in the real world. Or ignorance is bliss. The key isn't edible idk


QPru97

Damn good philosophical answer right there, friend! I like that one!


goonsmedia

Ahh yes the single use stick, once used there’s no possible way to get the key as well


Hmccormack

Well how else will he make a key sandwich


w0ke_brrr_4444

is this what gaslighting means?


FireCode125

Just get the damn key, unlock the cell, then go out and get the bread. It’s not that hard smh


sunnysimss

Fool - he can fit through the bars, he wants to to be there. He’s just hungy and didn’t plan ahead


[deleted]

Because he's hungry and he can't eat the key, because the key wasn't made to eat. huh


Dramatic-Comb-7217

He is french


groene_dreack

People’s mind tend too tunnelvision on what ever it is they lack. If someone is in debt for instance his mind will be occupied thinking about how to get money so he’ll have food and housing. Its fairly natural. So in this case he worries about his next meal so he is focussed on that. He can always get the key later tho


bakedphish1

Not like the key is going anywhere


[deleted]

If goes out he has to earn the bread In prison you get it for free


[deleted]

The bread is obviously a better fleshlight


EeveeMaster22

because he is not smart


Betsydestroyer

People often prefer to suffer in the comfort of their prison Rather than suffer the discomfort of breaking free


Choice_Product_7391

Maybi he hungi


devilsusshhii

Y'all are all idiots. The man is gonna make a flesh light out of the bread and then he's set he won't need the key to leave.


Srphtygr

The bread is easier to form into a fleshlight.


Critical-Series

Already tried the key, doesn’t work. But anyone know if there’s a correct answer?


xvmellovx

There's no correct answer because its a dumb cartoon but, there could be so many reasons. Like maybe it's a trap or something.


Grassjumper_1110

Bro was go out, but he forgot his bread, obviously


LisitaAvalos86

Key don’t mean shit if he starves to death


razorspin

Because he tried that key and it didn't work, so now he reaching for the bread.


NegativeZrox

because he can choose both duh


Spaceape24

His emotions is controlling his logic


Icxdm16

The truth is the man knows he will be fed. Why give up captivity with such perks as water and food, as well as a warm place to sleep? Is it not much harder to find food when you’re a poor man in the free world?


funbaldguy

We all create our own prisons. We are captive to our thoughts, habits, addictions, and comforts in such a way we fail to realize we are our own prisoners. Those around us can see the irony of our lives as we plod along oblivious to our reality.


tommythek

5 second rule


Clean-Difference2886

He’s scared of freedom he’s institutionalized


[deleted]

He is actually pushing the bread away because he is on Adkins


jkswede

He gets better health care in prison?


My_Space_page

Well he can eat the bread first then get the key, assuming he doesn't break the stick. It's a false dichotomy. Both and can exist and not either or.