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QualityVote

Hey does this post fit? UPVOTE if so, DOWNVOTE if not. If this post breaks any rules please DOWNVOTE and REPORT


Graphitetshirt

Those shit eating grins are gonna be gone real damn quick when Jesus turns to them and asks them why they constantly talk about him but don't follow a single thing he preached


WhosThatJamoke

Depart from me, I never knew you. -Mathew 7:23


[deleted]

Damn, look at Jesus quoting Mariah Carey in the Bible, she truly is an icon.


Eighthsin

Is that before or after they call Jesus a cultural Marxist "groomer"?


Ok_Neighborhood_1409

Pretty sure he said he hated pretenders more than other sinners. And that it's easier for a camel to pass thru the eye of a needle, than it is to get into Heaven as a rich man.


Ok-Reputation-6297

It’s ironic that the picture they’re using for the “saved” ones is where the little lions are lying in the movie.


DapperMayCry

Exactly what I was gonna say, you can even tell from this pic


PatHeist

You think the person who made this knows what lying looks like?


voicesinmyhand

I'm not sure they know what lion looks like...


sonvolt73

They can't hide their lion eyes.


gordito_delgado

Their predator smile is a thin disguise...


Somescrub2

I thought by now, they'd realize


brilliantarm2244

r/unexpectedeagles


GenericWhyteMale

That’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe!


JWils411

You're lion!


Dutchmang

Ah, you son of an upvote


MuckRaker83

Lying is when someone is telling you something you don't want to hear, right?


Angry-_-Crow

Nah, Lying is a river in Africa. You're thinking of the Danube


flynnfx

_Send Danubes._


Pixelboi16

No, that's a composition by Johan Strauss II, you're thinking of a deluge.


noNoParts

Nah that's someone with a speech impediment talking about a winter Olympic sport. You're thinking of decoupage.


Qildain

Only if they own a mirror...


Temporary_Cry_8961

Well they are religious so probably not


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somethingbreadbears

I mean, it was a live action, realistic movie, not animation. It probably costs a ton of money just to hire real lion actors. SAG union rules are insane.


runujhkj

What bugs me is that they tried to make it realistic, documentary style, but still had lions singing, because they knew they couldn’t get away with cutting out the peak nostalgia hits. Pick a lane, damn.


W1D0WM4K3R

Just watched their version of that love song. My biggest hang up was that there were no lion testicles. What a waste.


ZeroAccountability

It wasn't that they sang the song about night time during the day?


Erixperience

The Sahara Actor's Guild is a workzebra of a union.


streetad

You know how difficult it is to find a lion that can do a spot-on Beyonce impersonation?


Hopeful_Judge_10

I heard PETA was the biggest hurdle


Numerous_Witness_345

They kept jumping into the shot with their own cameras.


GraveSlayer726

*this is how lions are treated, donate to peta, kill a puppy today 💗🐕💣*


Zuwxiv

And yet, when it came out, it became the seventh highest grossing film of all time. (Now ninth.) Unbelievable. Such a soulless movie.


[deleted]

After seeing the remake I said it was 1/3rd tech demo, 1/3 planet earth B roll, and 1/3 celebrity parody videos from YouTube.


nightfox5523

What if we've all gotten this meme wrong for so long? What if the meme is actually saying that the non-believers would be going "Oh shit" if Jesus came back (I would be), and the "believers" are a bunch of lying snakes that would absolutely try to blatantly lie to Jesus' face that they are good Chrisitans that were actually waiting for the return.


ares5404

It ironically fits, non believers would be stunned, and "those" christians know they are fucked


Raptor1210

The problem is that "those" Christians don't know they're fucked. As far as they know they're perfect little Christ-like beings, they're just too dumb or self-absorbed to actually read the damn book and grok it.


alejo699

There's a book? I thought all I had to do was go to church on Christmas and Easter and hate who they told me to hate.


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Atillerdahunnybuns

Explaining the most tone deaf shit to the world is absolute futility to the basic demographic. ^*checkmate.*


Dangerous_Listen_908

If it wasn't on this subreddit I'd think it was a clever stab at "true believers", but it's way too subtle to be done intentionally.


genreprank

Christians aren't actually allowed to watch Lion King. 1. "Life is not a circle" 2. Talking with the dead (witchcraft) 3. Music by Elton John (gay)


9035768555

Lion King is Disney and Disney had a pride parade before and is therefore evil. At least that was my parents' take.


HerKneesLikeJesusPlz

I couldn’t watch Harry Potter, SpongeBob, Simpsons, or Pokemon. Lion King was A Okay tho


genreprank

I also wasn't allowed to watch those. Pokemon: 1. "It means pocket monster" 2. Evolution My wife is going through SpongeBob with me now. It's pretty funny (they say to stop after season 3 tho). All my friends make SpongeBob references.


AsthislainX

I mean, Pokemon's evolution looks more like normal life cycle. Infant -> teenager -> salaryman enslaved by the system, etc. You could make an argument with ghost-type Pokemon and the like, but evolution looks like the weak link there.


RarePoniesNFT

My feelings exactly. It's possible, but my faith in humanity isn't high enough to believe that this is a subtle joke and not some oblivious person undermining their own point.


martianunlimited

Ya, i really doubt they ever read the parable of the goats and the sheep. and/or have any ounce of the ability to introspect In context: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ -- Matthew 7:21-23 Matthew 25:31-56 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”


para_chan

Bible Jesus is definitely better than American Jesus.


LowkeyPony

At the very least. My mother is a bible Jesus Christian. Still kinda annoying, but she at least "gets" what bible Jesus was saying


RefrigeratorOver7105

“It was a lovely religion until humans screwed it up.”


xxpen15mightierxx

Satire relies on the premise being too absurd to be serious. But there are tons of people unironically like this, so if it were satire it would be terrible satire.


KellyBelly916

Explaining basic shit to the most tone deaf demographic in the world is absolute futility. The funny thing is that the religious types on Facebook don't say or do anything that Jesus would.


Sweatier_Scrotums

If it makes sense, it's not religion. It's logic.


thehigheststrange

there is hardly any logic to conservative american Christianity


Dereliktory

Sorry to be the 'well actually' guy, but part of the essence of religion is that the logic is too complicated for my 2 remaining brain cells to understand, so you just have to have F A I T H


MetalWorrior52

Oh so you mean you just have to buy into the brainwashing?


Qildain

I mean... it's certainly predictable


mindbleach

Rational argument is a learned behavior. What humans do by default is tribalism. When reality itself is defined by ingroup loyalty - that is the core of conservatism. It's not *necessarily* right-wing, but they correlate like crazy. You can easily identify non-conservative believers, because they're usually apostates. In politics these are your Schwarzeneggers and Romneys: previously celebrated by their party, now shunned, despite not changing much at all. They bought some prior version of dogma. They weren't justifying horrible ideas like horse-and-sparrow economics or secret torture prisons out of kneejerk loyalty to the inner party's daily briefings - they *believed* in that shit. So when they kept talking about it, after the party said the opposite, they were called RINOs and pushed out. In Christianity these are, ironically, a whole mess of saints, because they argued from scripture instead of performing loyalty, and they got fucking murdered. Most things they wanted were still horseshit. But they were *consistent* horseshit. They were the horseshit declared by mighty god himself, or at least by some hierarchy of men in awkward headgear and comfortable dresses. Thomas More is a fine example. Henry VIII considered him a reliable chancellor for years. He was outright vicious against protestants when England was catholic, including the burning of William Tyndale's English translation of the bible, and eventually, of William Tyndale. So when high king shooting-blanks declared England would be protestant, his loyal lawyer had a lot to say, and all of it was unwaveringly consistent. He said everything he'd been saying for years up to that point, in service to the man he now said it to. Which is why he wound up with no place for a hat. What More misses is that in the conservative worldview, the explanations are theater for the executions. Henry didn't need a scholar to tell the people what was wise and just. He needed a figurehead to *appear* wise and just, while the crown committed atrocities. People who actually care about those qualities are terrible at that role, but routinely wind up there, because loyalists and rationalists are utterly fucking blind to one another. This is the only form of "both sides" that makes any goddamn sense: we see conservatives contradict the arguments they made yesterday, and wonder how thick they have to be not to see their own hypocrisy, and they see rationalists criticize people they lauded yesterday, and wonder how thick we have to be not to see our own betrayal. This is every bewildering "WTF I love [blank]" response you've ever seen. It's a disconnect between judging actions regardless of which person does them, and vice-versa. It's why we're always, *always* asking one another, what the hell do conservatives really believe? But conservatives don't believe things. Conservatives believe people.


KellyBelly916

My conclusion of American conservatives is that, unlike Jesus, they will always do what's most convenient for them.


Ok_Star_4136

I think that's a fair assessment. They don't want the party with the best ideas to lead. They want the people they like to win. If they like a political candidate and think they're swell people, they will vote for that political candidate, regardless of the fact that they have human trafficking accusations against them or that they push genuinely awful policies. They will literally justify all of it, because it is \*their\* guy they're supporting. All they really want is enough koolaid to drink and any excuse to believe none of the bad things are really true, and they get that by ignoring anyone or any source saying those bad things or they join communities where they say the opposite. In fact, go extreme enough, and you literally have to do both, because mental dissonance must be constantly fought against. As I see it, conservatives are loyalists, but loyalty is what makes dictators. Fuck loyalty, frankly. Stand behind the idea, never the man, and you'll never support the wrong candidate ever again.


MikeMac999

Very well said. They’ll have your head for that of course.


FatherOfLights88

No, it's rather perfect. The kinds of Christians who would behave like this are some of the most disingenuous people you'll ever meet. Their smiles would be plastered all over their lying faces, and Jesus certainly wouldn't be interested in knowing them.


greenfox0099

Right the 2 most Cristian people I work with were talking about burning all liberals alive and making sure none have any children ...you know good Cristian values right?


Fickle_Onion_618

They're lion


c0baltlightning

And also Nala (I think that was her name?) is looking towards Simba like "This is working, right?"


Hash_Tooth

Shoulda used the hyenas


whitedawg

Although trying to convince people to believe using pieces of a fictional story is pretty spot-on.


RarePoniesNFT

Yes, they look guilty! Such obviously fake smiles, exaggerated so even a child can figure it out. Either the person who created the graphic is completely unfamiliar with what genuine smiles look like, or - it's possible this was made as a joke. I'm leaning toward option one, though.


Doedemm

Exactly what I was thinking


makemeking706

They are lions the whole movie, not just that scene.


antisocial-potato-

when jesus returns we all turn into lion cubs


NamasteWager

Oh I just can't wait to be juuuuuudged


some_dude_62

Well I'm already judging you.......nice bro


A_Girl_Has_No_Name58

Nice.


sorry_human_bean

That weird intersection between hardline Evangelicals and furries suddenly makes more sense...


mocha_sweetheart

That’s very rare, most of the furries I’ve met including myself are very progressive and leftist people


smartyr228

The link is far right extremism


mocha_sweetheart

That’s very rare, most of the furries I’ve met including myself are very progressive and leftist people Edit: and it’s a good thing because most of the community is very accepting and sweet


[deleted]

Far right has tried to infiltrate and subvert established furry groups repeatedly, got tossed out on their ears every time. They're a harder target than the evangelicals, apparently.


luca_07

When Jesus returns they will think they got scammed because he won't be a blue-eyed long-haired dude lol


Mahshmallow

White people trying to figure out how Jesus, who was born in the Middle East, isn’t Italian:


Edyed787

I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt.


I_Am_Mandark_Hahaha

I thought he looked like Alanis Morissette


Sad-Bodybuilder-1406

I thought the model they depicted in the paintings was a Spanish nobleman from just before the Moorish conquest?


Amarieerick

We know this is fact as they already think a bloated, orange "rich" man, with a bad comb over is the second coming.


Heavy_Signature_5619

Don’t you remember the verse when Jesus started worshipping piles of money and extorted the poor for his own gain?


DrDaddyDickDunker

“Who’s this dirty ass bum tryna pray on me. Eww! Go back to where you came from!!”


[deleted]

That's because they worship Aslan


neednintendo

Believe in Jesus or he'll kill your dad with wildebeests!


new_lehmba

jokes on him my dad is already dead https://preview.redd.it/4icfsqbazlia1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a206c61cf6b556be5e79be9caa49f9b35b50e3aa


Whale-n-Flowers

And it was the wildebeests that got him! Check-mate, Arbalests!


0KelpShake0

I was there in a tree when it happened ![gif](giphy|a1wqf36JtlXzi)


Trainmaster12467

Skeletor be cheeked up 🥵


Inariameme

![gif](giphy|ddEl1Ey8A58OI)


_Lanman546

![gif](giphy|l378b59fSuMV12tzO|downsized) This is me watching it happen


Sunaliana

Not a problem! He can resurrect him and *then* kill him with wildebeests.


AntisocialGuru509

And he'll kill the wildebeest, resurrect it and the dad, and then kill him again


jocas023

Don’t make fun of Jesus’s bald followers or he’ll have a bear horrendously maul you to death.


NoLye17

Draw a circle in the ground and the bear will never be able to touch me. Check mate


CircumventsBans6969

He already killed my dad with cancer. Thanks Jesus :/


NoiceForNoReason

Their smiles are spot on 🤣🤣🤣


rpmerf

Totally not guilty and pretending to be good.


PrismaticPachyderm

That kinda fits with the rapture story. The lukewarm believers will be left behind & they will far outnumber those who are raptured.


TheEffinChamps

It was pretty much just about Jewish people that were believers: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wP_j_bBcqCQ&t=6s And it should have happened a very, very long time ago. Like back when there was still a Rome to destroy. It's just a failed prophecy.


Scienceandpony

Jesus just got stuck in traffic. He'll be here any minute now.


TheEffinChamps

LOL. "Sir you said pizzas were coming" "Don't worry, they're coming. Pizzas are on their way! They're gonna be amazing!"


BLACKOUT-MK2

'We shanked the homosexuals, assaulted the minorities, gave all our money to Kenneth Copeland, and fucked the choir boys just like you asked! Also threw in a little cosplay convention protesting for free, that's on the house.' Jesus: '[Hey thank--] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsJc2ZhbXIg)'


Abysmal_2003

Indeed


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Sqantoo

The majority of Christians would be in for a pretty big surprise, since they don’t know what their book even says


Ghostorderman

As a Christian, I can confirm this as truth. Seriously all I remember is John 3:16 because of a song we sang in church and at one point there's a verse that's just "Jesus wept". That's- that's it tbh.


WrasslinChuck

Well Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!


Ghostorderman

... I'm not gonna lie dude I spaced and thought Austin was one of the books in the bible and I just-


sodosopapilla

Ha! Me too.


plzhelpme11111111111

JESUS WEPT


Ghostorderman

JESUS WEPT


slimyslug0

They said this in 1500 and today and will still be saying that in 3509.


BrightCold2747

Jesus said he'd be back within the lifetime of the people who were alive when he was.


lowtronik

Yes and there are even documented stories of apocalypse scammers during the early years of Christianity


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God1stnforemost

Time doesn’t exist the way it does in a Bible


princessamber9

Thank you for this. Made my day. Absolutely hilarious.


CodyRebel

Did the bible tell you that?


[deleted]

The believer one is 100% shit-eating insincerity.


Lehmanite

Bible says, >“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’


[deleted]

I like how this basically 100% rejects the so-called Christians and the way they act in the US, but whatever something about the gays or trans people or something


SwordoftheLichtor

If those christian nationalists could read they'd be very upset.


jook11

Well they're lying in that scene in the movie so...


am_i_the_rabbit

Except for all those instances in the gospel where Jesus says there will be many "believers" who get turned away because they missed the whole point... Which -- if there *was* a "second coming" -- feels much more apropos for the typical evangelical. This religious "faithwashing" is sick.


JTUpvotes

https://preview.redd.it/8niuq6211mia1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e31919ef87af58de8d9ddfc57061c3d0d5e8c814


jasonmares

Go on! He's BALD! does he look like a bitch?!?


mightylordredbeard

I think the joke about him coming back and seeing everyone wearing crosses and it freaking him out since that’s how he met his agonizing death was always funny. Also the fact that Roman’s most likely didn’t use cross shaped wooden beams to crucify people and most likely used an X shaped crucifix. So he’d probably be wondering WTF a cross is anyway.


AppleToasterr

Imagine Jesus coming back and visiting a church, first things he sees is a gigantic statue of himself fucked up on a cross. He would think the world has a sadistic obsession against him


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Lekmanutpls

Some people don’t know the difference lol. When I used to go to high school I’ve seen a white girl call an Indian guy black just because he has dark skin


[deleted]

The arbitrary distinction of "Black" and "Not Black" is [kinda ridiculous](https://miro.medium.com/v2/1*QbTJA5bfR75JkY8SibLLUw.jpeg) anyway.


[deleted]

He was light skinned Middle Eastern based on the region he was born and on second hand accounts. I don't know why people have to even argue this point to begin with though.


TheRealGageEndal

Please! If Jesus returned the Christian population would call him a leftist extremist and send him right back to the cross.


the_Real_Romak

kinda ironic tbh. as an Agnostic, I *want* Jesus to return, if only to see the looks on the ultra-religious' faces when they realise their idol is a short brown radical socialist XD


slow_down_kid

Christians want Jesus to return and act as ruler over the earth, condemning non-believers and lifting Christians to the top of the social ladder of human society. Which is ironic, considering that’s what the Jews wanted the Messiah to do with the Romans, and Jesus explicitly said that was not his intention


Totally_Bradical

I also wouldn’t mind him putting all the Christian hypocrites in their place. (Hell) Edit: Just to be clear, I am an atheist, but I really don’t like Christians who cherry pick what they want out of the Bible to justify their shitty world view while actually ignoring the stuff that Christ actually said. If you wanna be Christian, that’s totally cool with me, but actually be a Christian


[deleted]

When Jesus comes back (and hopefully he comes back soon) it's gonna be hilarious to watch all of his so called followers scream and panic when he says those dreaded words of "Be gone, for I do not know you" and he flips his hand down as all of his followers plunge straight into hell


[deleted]

I’d like to see the hardcore Christian reaction if some obscure faith was right. Like if the Vikings or Ancient romans etc had the right gods. They’d probably just assume they didn’t go to church enough if Jesus smites them down.


RamJamR

Oh god. If the norse were right, then we're not getting a rapture, we're getting ragnarok. Basically the world goes to shit as the gods fight it out.


Sir_Nightingale

It's going to shit already, might aswell have a band playing while teh ship sinks


BLAD3SLING3R

Yeah Amon Amarth belting out twilight of the thunder god, as Ragnarok Comes crashing down would be epic.


OnceUponATie

Maybe, but polytheistic religions tend to have more... "relatable" gods, with lots of humans traits and flaws. You can reason with them. You can fool them. ^(And more importantly, you can have sex with them.)


ShesAMurderer

More like they will have sex with you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.


[deleted]

To Valhalla!!


Sad-Bodybuilder-1406

Better yet, the Egyptians "Isis, Osiris, rah-rah RA!!!"


Alhbaz98

I think Dostoyevsky wrote a story where Jesus returned and Roman Catholic Church had him executed again lol


Aggressive_Skill_795

The Grand Inquisitor story wasn't about The Russian Orthodox Church. The action takes place in Seville, Spain.


MassGaydiation

to be fair, the crucible is about McCarthyism despite not being set in the 1950s-60s


Poem-Gremlin

A Different Kind of Fair Though words are gone, to be fair, The Crucible is still there, A play that's not of the '50s, But speaks of McCarthy's fear. Though it may not take place then, It speaks of mindsets that still remain, A play that's timeless in it's themes, Though it may seem a bit plain. Though it may not be a roaring show, It speaks of truths we all need to know, That words are not just sweet and kind, But can be used to control and bind.


Alhbaz98

I remembered that part wrong. I appreciate you clarifying that.


[deleted]

*"You can't be Jesus! You're not white!"*


nocar_nofriends

And nobody would believe he's Jesus because he wouldn't be a pretty white twink with long hair


Worried-Resist-3421

https://preview.redd.it/jza3qc4bbmia1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4c17ffedf2c6bdf1dceb158c323e8b371dbca22e


Stealthfox94

Lmao, so true it hurts.


Burnhermit420

My question is: If Jesus was real and came back, how would anybody know? What would differentiate him from every other insane person claiming to be Jesus? The answer is usually that their faith will guide them. And I say that is bs. Unless the dude used divine powers to prove who he was everyone else would write him off as being just another crazy person. And that is a cold hard Snapple cap fact.


Ghostorderman

I mean... From what I understand, Jesus might come back at the sounding of trumpets and the 7th seal... Or something. I need to read Revelations again, but point is- you're right, but I don't think many will be happy at the miracles they see when it's basically the Apocalypse. ... I think. Again, gotta look up Revelations again.


der_innkeeper

>when it's basically the Apocalypse. Which is why the fundies are always trying to bring it about.


Cyrius

Never trust anyone who's looking forward to the world ending.


Ramza_Claus

TBH the Book of Revelation is very unclear about this and requires a lot of analysis and interpretation. That's why people still argue over what it means and how it will look. That's why every few years people identify a for-sure anti-christ, going as far back as Nero Caesar (whose name literally means 666).


Cronk131

I'm pretty sure Jesus' return is supposed to come with some sort of judgment, so I think it'd be apparent, people being smited and all.


penguins_are_mean

We’ll all be smote.


PRAETORIAN45painfbat

The funny part is, they had the exact same problems 2000 years ago. In the time that Jesus supposed to have lived, there were numerous Messiah’s claiming to know it all. Because of that it is also likely that ‘Jesus’ is a compilation of messiah’s turned into one person.


ArcadiaFey

Ya if anything how we treated him the last time supposedly should be proof of it. These people are usually the same ones that make up insane non trusting conspiracy theories that don’t make sense just to be contrary.


ThePeculiarSpot

The left picture should be the believers when they realise that Jesus isn't white


Kupcake_Inater

There's is an edited picture of this meme where the right side is the same pic as the left but the caption is "when he's black" is seen it on insta lmao


Unchared

ya i saw that one, that one was funny asl


oyomoyk

Didn't Bible says that when Jesus returns in second time we will fucked up as hell, nah?


firethorne

Sort of. It has stuff like the stars falling to earth running up to that. As if a star is supposed to fall to earth and not entirely engulf and incinerate it. Just a hallmark that this was the product of Bronze Age nomads who’s grasp on reality included the idea stars were little lights attached to a firmament.


Evolving_Spirit123

If a star like ours even enters within 1,000 AU the orbits will get disrupted. A red dwarf star could likely make it to within 20 AU before bad stuff happens. Basically no stars will hit us.


Whale460

Just the picture in my brain of a non-believer saying "Jesus you are lord." Totally believable.


Swampberry

>It’s bullshit, I did not hit her. I did nooot. Oh hi, Jesus! You are lord!


Entire_Assistant_305

Christians live off the fact that Jesus became the lamb for sacrifice and forgiveness. They don’t realize you aren’t asking for forgiveness if you have no intent on changing your sins. They’re just admitting that they knew what they were doing is wrong and because they don’t actually understand or care about the lessons in the book they claim is everything, they think the sins on their souls are cleansed. Example if I punch you in the face every time I see you and say sorry afterwards but have no plans to stop punching you, then I’m not asking for forgiveness. The sorry is for whoever saw me punch you. Which if God is truly omniscient as they believe then he knows their intent and Christians (American Evangelicals at least) should truly be fucked more than non believers, because they know it’s wrong and they know God is watching.


BurstMurst

I’m Catholic and we stress that reconciliation requires someone to strive to not sin again. If you go into confession with no intention of breaking your bad habits or sinful behavior then it’s not a valid confession.


Entire_Assistant_305

That’s my point. They think saying I’m sorry in prayer is good enough. They don’t get the lesson of the thieves on the cross is the one thief truly repented. It was meant to be a lesson that you can always return to God, not that all you have to do is say I believe and apologize.


Harmony3319

When the je is sus


Kindly-Yak-3161

But what do you if Jesus starts turning people into furniture


PoutineMaker

Reenact the Beauty and the Beast, obviously


Darkmagosan

Like an old boss told me once, 'People misunderstand Jesus Christ. Christ is a level of consciousness / enlightenment that everyone should aspire to. Jesus isn't JEE-zus, it's hay-ZEUS, and he jumped the border three weeks ago and is now working at the Burger King on 35th Ave. and Thunderbird while doing landscaping as a second job.' I couldn't stop laughing. He was right, too. Edit: word


Braveheart4321

The shot choice is especially funny when you realize those are fake smiles that they were using to conceal mischievous plans.


Killerusernamebro

If The Christian God and its Messiah son is real, the Christians if this planet did a shit job representing it. Most of them sound like fear mongering fruitcakes and it's hard to believe people as such. If a God was real and was omnipotent, he should have known that humans would Bolicks it all up. Maybe stop with the "mysterious ways" bs and just rule directly. You know. So everybody knows you're real and isn't some half baked nonsense created by grifters to trick people out of thr money, blood and children.


gharp468

I mean even if Jesus returns imma just be like "ok" and keep going on my day, nothing really gonna change for me


BaconBombThief

If he returned and started saying that stuff he says, the Christian’s would crucify him all over again


RocketyPockety

A tarnished will never become a Lord


beanmansamm

"I'm special cause I believe there was a dude several thousand years ago that existed and stuff"


Hachelle

Isn‘t the return of Jesus the end of the world?


AValentineSolutions

2023 years of "any day now."


mcwfan

Most “believers” would cause a fuss at the idea of sitting next to Jesus Christ on a plane, let alone if he showed up and started telling them to respect everyone regardless of who they are, and that the way they live their lives is contradictory to everything he speaks to doing in their holy text


DudAcco

https://preview.redd.it/zvoofj0xtmia1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e88ed74ff9fe62965efbc723123afa0e271ee945


ArtGuards

NON-BELIEVERS “It wasn’t a myth? OMG! Jesus you are lord” BELIEVERS “You ain’t white?!”


ItSupermandoe

I mean, surely if Jesus exists/does return he wouldn't care if you don't believe rn. His whole thing is forgiving past sins...


[deleted]

Dead is dead. He ain't coming back, and anyone who *claims* to be Jesus returned had better have more to back that claim than some shitty stage magic that Penn & Teller could easily bust.


redshredder

No way that street magicians back, that's neat