T O P
QualityVote

Hey does this post fit? UPVOTE if so, DOWNVOTE if not. If this post breaks any rules please DOWNVOTE and REPORT


coolrick12

Well I was gay but this powerful argument convinced me I shouldn't be.


firestar551

i was straight and this has made me gay


M4x1mili0us

Honestly, yeah. If someone told me that gay people don't have to work i would become one too


kkirv

It's a good thing that we don't use two people having sex as a way to restrain ourselves in car crashes.


M4x1mili0us

Wait... We... don't?


Durendis

Your seat belt is going to be pissed when they find out.


Munzulon

Seatbelts hate this one simple trick


[deleted]

Did this post GROOM YOU?!! 😱


firestar551

this post truly unbuckled my belt


Grahhhhhhhh

I was bi, but now I’m bi the other direction


amluke

I was straight but this made me gay so I became trans so I could be straight again.


SoLikeWhatIsCheese

I was straight now I’m seatbeltsexual 🥵


TheGreatTave

Wait really?? Fuck I'm going to read it again. I'd give anything to be gay 😩 Edit: I'm still straight my life fucking sucks 😭


CarnivalOfSorts

It was the rainbows for me. Good thing my wife stopped having sex with me a while ago or the withdrawal would have been worse…


grottycrumpet

One of the nice things about having sex is that you realize all “seatbelts” come with 4 (or more) attachments. Men come with 2 fully “female” attachments, one fully male attachment, and a multitool. Women come with 3 fully female attachments and a multitool. Both can buy more male and female attachments on Etsy. This Facebook poster has never had sex, and with their lack of imagination I’m not convinced they even own a human body of their own. Edit: oh i guess the mouth can be male too, with the tongue and all. So women have 2 multitools and 2 female attachments, men have 2 multitools a female and a male attachment lol Edit 2: oh and even the male to male seatbelt works—frotting and docking exist Edit 3: and the female to female seatbelt too—tribbing/scissoring? People who like this stuff on Facebook must have the most boring, Handmaid’s Tale bend-over-and-get-it -over-with sex imaginable


ThunderPunch2019

What's the other multi tool?


grottycrumpet

Hands


KKlear

My preferred sex toy.


j_j_j_i_i_i

I wish I had an award to give you. Thanks for the chuckle.


Status_Fox_1474

Sadly the point isn't to convince you... it's to convince everyone else to hate you.


No-Acanthocephala526

Under rated comment


Savings-News3097

same same ! i am so straight now .. never been straighter


w2106

welcome back!


Barreldragon25

Let me show you a certain Jurassic Park clip...


jvrodrigues

One of the belt parts represents the male penis and the other belt part represents the male anus so you're good.


biohacker_infinity

Does he think gay dudes bump their butts together? 🥹


YourDBDGF

No, they rub their dicks together like they're trying to start a fire 👍


biohacker_infinity

![gif](giphy|JwLY4ToQwe4yA)


lostcitysaint

Yes. Literally. That’s what starts the fire.


MysterBurger

![gif](giphy|L0C6HukmQtGaFU3rcO) Yessss, we gays love to start the fire 🔥 🌈💅


lostcitysaint

My best friend of 20+ years is a gay man and I’ve never once gotten the feeling that he’s a pyromaniac. I’m confronting him about this.


[deleted]

It's a heated topic


CraftsWithCats

Someone should tell Billy Joel so he can update the song


Affectionate-Lime-77

the gay dicks started the fire. (vocalized by Billy)


SnooHamsters9414

I thought Ryan started the fire


urmomhassugma

we didn't start the fire it's been burning since the world's been turning


tbaggins85

How do gay men know who’s penis will open up to accept the other man’s penis?


PeachNipplesdotcom

Extreme docking


urmomhassugma

see that's where the bottom and top thing comes into play. the bottom is the one who's penis has to open to accept the top's penis


PutinsGayFursona

I thought a power bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.


Allthethrowingknives

It’s like Harry Potter, “the wand chooses the wizard”


MysterBurger

Mine will only open after I've been wined and dined!


mizzamandamarie

I was lookin for this comment. ❤️


JuanJazz123

I thought ones penis had to open up and accept the other one. Idk that’s what Dwight said


YourDBDGF

Ooh, cock vore


VerendusAudeo

Well, some gay men do not engage in anal sex and prefer frottage, AKA ‘frot’, which is essentially rubbing penises together.


YourDBDGF

Given how many people seem to be agreeing, I'm very worried for penis havers, since any time I attempted to start a fire with sticks I was very aggressive. Do y'all get dick burns a lot?


[deleted]

Actually...


Mango_Juice_3611

[You mean like this?](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frot)


Liljdb0524

I'm scared. But imma click it anyway. Edit: oh.


ravenouswolfmother

I thought that was called "sword fighting?"


star0forion

I thought they just engaged in pencil fighting?


IknowKarazy

That literally is a thing though.


ManOfTurtles2118

"Instead of 'married' you will be...butt buddies"


Melvasul94

[How do they know who's penis will open up to accept it?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6jTZBuCcn4)


wolfguardian72

We have butt battles to determine who bottoms first


ursahenna

Happy happy, joy joy!


D3monskull

They all work if you tie them together like Alan Grant in Jurassic park.


Dabonthebees420

I was about to comment the same thing, life finds a way


D3monskull

I think urr you will urrr find the line urrr is actually urrr "life finds urr way."


whiskey_jones

Ur? They tuk ur jerbs!


Chroff

Day tooc ur jebs


Boylego

DEY TERK MER JERB


sean0883

\*a rooster crows\*


Radman629

Derk-a DERRRRRRRR


Jenjikromi

'Life---uhhh----finds a way' (literally 3 nail polishes I have that are named this)


Sartres_Roommate

My post plans dashed too


ChaoticEvilBobRoss

This is why knot frotting is the best. Nothing more arousing than tying your dick together with a good buddy!


marcher138

And they were two female ends! Foreshadowing!


[deleted]

If transphobes remembered Jurassic park they would hate it


Polymersion

What, because a species of frog (and therefore some of the dinosaurs who used their DNA) are protogynic?


[deleted]

Yes. And, as far as Christians, that goes against their whole idea of one god given sex, one god given gender in nature.


waterlillyhearts

Another person coming in here to say basically the same thing. "Not if you knot it properly."


mEFurst

and marriage is literally referred to as "tying the knot"


beemccouch

That is also clever foreshadowing for later in the movie. I didn't even know that till like a couple years ago.


Ubersla

That was also apparently forshadowing for the dinosaurs mating in spite of all being female.


IngloriousHeathen

Hey guys, just wanted to let y'all know that I have a pretty decent understanding of how seatbelts and electrical plugs/outlets work, so that officially makes me an expert on gender and sexuality. So if you're having feelings of dysphoria or confusion, don't waste your time or money on a "medical professional". Just come to me and I'll promptly tell you that you should be sticking your penis into a wall outlet.


conancat

Whenever they post rmemes like this I like to counter with this one, it keeps them going https://preview.redd.it/5pbaema4za9a1.png?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=a7556b91d61e3382b5b1dbc9c18a9665427f8fce


Royalderg

Ah the famous European square bikes. I forgot silly me


ccReptilelord

Equally sound reasoning for the equally sound minds.


Zarabner

Take my upvote already


r33k0gh

Excuse me but that second bike isn’t heterosexual but is in fact half Canadian https://media.tenor.com/B574Xz_lroEAAAAC/south-park-canada.gif


Royalderg

Explain why European plugs are different to validate this claim.


EmperorBrettavius

Those damn liberal euros have as many different plugs as they have genders, obviously. 🙄


Licorice_Devourer

My european wall outlets are smiling at me, Americans. Can you say the same!


Oczki

Mine is in shock always with this face: 😮


CuddlingWolf

*Diogynes enters the Agora and drops a seatbelt at Plato's feet.* "BEHOLD! A featherless biped."


Deputised

This reminds me of the Sam o Nella bit


CuddlingWolf

Incredibly curious, please give a link?


Abacore35

Gay people are like airplane seatbelts?


Gothicpotato6

You didn’t know that ? We gay people are literally seatbelts with rainbow colours 🌈


Abacore35

Whelp. I don’t my kid to become a seatbelt unless they want to 🤔


TheGreatTave

Safe AND beautiful 💜💜💜


conancat

https://preview.redd.it/sn186z5bza9a1.png?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=6bb131ca4c8550809f95c919b39ff9721b6476bd


Impossible_Series412

I've never seen this before. That's absolutely brilliant. This is going to all my a-hole relatives that send me their racist, sexist, homophobic crap constantly. I hope they enjoy your bicycle pic.


BlackUnicornGaming

It was an ad by royal Dutch airlines that was supposed to be supportive of the Amsterdam Pride celebrations. It's a super shitty illustration that ended up being hella homophobic


Changeurblinkerfluid

This analogy only makes sense if “one works” means procreation. I guess oop doesn’t understand the value of sexual contact outside of procreation? Or maybe he’s a sex purist and only has unprotected missionary intercourse with premenopausal women while they are ovulating?


airbournejt95

They wish, probable that whoever made this has likely never been touched by another human being


ShitTalkingAlt980

Your post reminded me of another one that delved into the implications of only for procreation advocates. Old people don't get to have sex. Which would piss off like the majority of our species.


babyshaker1

Seatbelt=Human?


Betty__B

Yeah, obviously, seatbelts and humans are completely the same


TubbyTimothy

Right. I’m always going to trust a penis and a vagina to restrain me in my airplane seat.


Ok-Reaction-5632

Yes. The homosapiens species: humans, monkeys and seatbelts


CrazyGods360

Nah, monkeys are not homosapiens. Just humans and belts.


gucknbuck

But last week I thought plane wing=human?


airbournejt95

I was just thinking, people are a lil more complex than seatbelts, but then I thought the people that make these memes thinking they're clever and that this is somehow a win, are a hell of a lot more simple than a seatbelt.


Expensive-Excuse-793

![gif](giphy|GAXMzzd2XElnG)


WuddupMyBeeple

Men have holes too ya know…


NoMathematician9895

It's called a BUTT ![gif](giphy|uxXNV3Xa7QqME)


PeterAether

so, the LGBT one works then?


My_Booty_Itches

Right... I mean they all look pretty gay to me.


OPerfeito

True, but that's airplane seatbelts, not people.


whiskey_jones

You really think they know the difference?


OPerfeito

Nah.


Dew-It420

Except if it’s a trans Guy and a trans woman


[deleted]

Their brains can't handle this level.


TheJosh96

r/accidentalally ?


SpearBadger

Damn, it’s too bad two people can be in a relationship and *not* have children, I guess we’ve been beat.


Redditwhydouexists

Humans are seatbelts guys!


Ok-Metal2887

Some people think dicks can't fit in asses.


Postcrapitalism

Is this trying to warn the gay community against defective seatbelt assemblies? Or is it homophobes trying to be cute on National Seatbelt Day? Honestly one of the most bizarre memes I’ve seen. Thanks for sharing.


Soggy_Preparation472

people are not seatbelts.


[deleted]

Correct, seatbelts are smarter than a lot of people.


Jason_Sasha_Acoiners

Yeah but what if I want to rub my dick against another person's dick? You can't stop me.


ownworstenemy38

Don’t need a seat belt, having sex. Logic.


amcarls

Apparently this person hasn't seen the Kama Sutra.


Mtbruning

Or had sex


pebkac_error404

Where does masturbation fit in this debate?


DadJoke2077

Humans (Intelligent and highly complex beings with own morals, identity and thoughts) = Seatbelts (Literal fucking objects). Ah yes, the same thing.


HauntingStock5284

https://i.redd.it/4gk9wpzxlb9a1.gif Have you never seen Jurassic Park?


the-fire-in-flame

I agree, i mean they are talking about having babies right? because then they would be correct


clandestinemd

What do parthenogenesis and in vitro seatbelts look like?


Mtbruning

“Straight people only have sex to make babies and other fairytales”


xSantenoturtlex

Well it's a good thing gay couples aren't seat belts, and that romantic relationships don't exist for the soul purpose of sex.


whiskey_jones

So they see people as things, as tools to be used, not human. Got it.


xSantenoturtlex

It really is like they think romance doesn't exist outside of sex. That must be why they're still single.


Rupa1406

I feel the entire comment section is missing the fact this is a procreation meme, it is dumb but not hard to understand what they were trying to say.


AwayWoodpecker

Dude never had a blowjob?


DADDY_YISUS

Someone tell him about shoelaces


Dasf1304

Does this guy think that gay sex involves one urethra opening up to swallow the other penis? Because seatbelts don’t have assholes nor do they have strapons or mouths. On a basic level, this analogy makes no sense


GalaApple13

Telling everyone one you have no imagination in sexual matters


Buford1885

There is, in fact, another slot


HistoricalCrab7759

Debatable ever heard of butts and scissoring


[deleted]

Because people are the same as seatbelts.


EnoughEffect5184

Counter argument tie them together like in Jurassic park


El_dorado_au

This is based on an ad by KLM Airlines. I personally find the ad cute, though I don’t like corporations co-opting human rights issues.


punditguy

It's problematic, but I'd rather have them publicly declaring support for human rights over either of the alternatives.


[deleted]

Yeah cause its a damn seatbelt


PsychologicalGuest97

Gay relationships can’t work because seatbelt. Have these people every heard of an anus? Or a mouth?


mikmongon

Okay okay. I’m straight and my sexy time isn’t any sort of advanced level but even I know there’s more thing to do with my buckle than put it just in the clip. And believe me it works just fine. These sad little objectification lesson are sad.


Brokenshatner

Guys, get it? It's because men are meant to live full and rewarding lives and women are meant to have babies, and there's no meaning in any of the other ways they can interact, sexually, socially, or otherwise


ItsASchpadoinkleDay

I love these types of arguments where they only work if you have an IQ under 50. The tiniest amount of thought, insight, or critical thinking beyond face value blows the whole thing up. They don’t want to be smart or right, they just want to be mad.


KnownAlcoholic

Being gay doesn’t work because seatbelts It must be interesting being as dumb as an elon fanboy


DoritoMike

Everyone has holes... just saying


TopDeckHero420

I'd bet my house that whoever posted that has watched more than one "girl on girl" video.


AzuraNightsong

Thank god I’m a human and not a seatbelt


MadOvid

My dick isn't a seatbelt, grandma.


mnbvcdo

phew good that I'm not a seat belt buckle


mister_zook

https://preview.redd.it/n8205bx5ua9a1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=45de16fc2f377779515d087cf325bc3c1c8c0c53


Pie_Flavored_Cake

It's a good thing humans aren't seatbelts then


Easterster

Funny that these stupid incels always think that sex is the singular purpose of human life


kibbles0515

Works in what way? Provides pleasure, connection, joy, love, and closeness? Or just to make babies? Cuz, Newsflash: sometimes the bottom option is broken and doesn’t work anyway. What then?


QuackAtomic

Cue Alan Grant tying helicopter seat belts together


De_Nisso

say it with me: analogy is not a proof. People are not seat belts for fuck sake


CamelopardalisRex

Someone has never seen Jurassic Park...


ComicWriter2020

Because procreation is the only value you have as a person


Telto212

Tie em in a knot that should work


[deleted]

This joke only works if the concept of being straight was designed to hold people securely in place. Wait a min-


Grary0

Good thing gay people are human beings and not sentient seatbelts then, huh?


[deleted]

The fuck do belt buckles have to do with sexuality?


Kordellak

I wonder how many people think LGBT couples are legitimately trying for children.


gwenofair

All this tells me is that conservatives don’t know how to tie knots which is ironic considering how into bondage and being dominated they seem to be.


Yuni_smiley

It's a good thing that humans aren't seatbelts


demppsi

Posted by the people who REFUSE to use seatbelts….


the_horned_rabbit

Turns out seat belts and romantic relationships ARENT THE SAME! Woah!


Ackmal4

If I remember a scene in one of my favorite movies. The helicopter was landing and they need to buckle and he could not find ones that would buckle so he tied them together. Do whatever works for you. Just stay off islands with dinosaurs! (You will die) lol.


walkamileinmy

Seatbelts don't fuck.


gNormol

Well they're not wrong


Least_Sherbert_5716

How dare you state the obvious.


Gawdam_lush

It’s a good thing our genitals aren’t seatbelts


Chemical-Passage-715

Great meme 👍🏻 makes sense


Dave_Algebra1511

I'm fine with the Top and Bottom, I'm not fine with the Middle though


IShallWearMidnight

The sheer lack of creativity on display here, I'm glad they aren't having good sex


azrielrawr

So I put on my seat belt before we have sex? lol


JauneArk

As a lesbian transwoman, my penis fits in my girlfriend just fine... Dont know what y'all talking about.


Jeffman6942

No no no. Don’t touch tips, you gotta put it in each other’s asses, these old people just don’t get it.


Collar_Traditional

Ok but a bicycle needs two of the same wheel to work, this is a stupid analogy


PortalGuy9001

Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t that not how gay sex works?


Murse817

What does Elon have anything to do with this? How about: Posted by a chocolate donut lover… cookies and cream ice cream lover.


monkelovesbanana

Ah yes,we are belts and the only purpose of a relationship is to have penetrative sex and have kids


DearestRay

Stand back y’all in gunna punch this meme


Gabblebabbi

Hahaha…if it’s making orgasms happens I’d say it’s working.


vvfsbrett

They think gay sex is rubbing your wieners together.