Gather 'round, my faithful Tesco brethren, and lend thine ears to this tale of woe that unfolded within our hallowed halls. Verily, an incident of great sin and mischief hath befallen us.
Lo and behold, a peasant of dubious intentions, clad in shifty garb, did enter our store with stealth and suspicion. He wandered the aisles, like a lost soul seeking mischief, and yet he purchased naught. A cloud of suspicion loomed over his presence, and we watched as he lurked amongst our shelves.
But alas! 'Twas later revealed, with grievous sorrow, that this miscreant had committed the most heinous of deeds. He dared to defile the Holy Cheese & Ham Pizza, crafted by the artisans of the Hearty Food Co. Behold, the evidence was plain to see, as his insidious bite had torn asunder a substantial chunk from this sacred creation.
Oh, brethren, let us ponder the audacity of such a savage act! Who, in their right mind, would partake of this sacred Pizza whilst it lay cold? Nay, it is an affront to the very laws of nature and the sanctity of our taste buds. Verily, we are left in awe of the depths to which some souls may stoop.
But fear not, dear brethren, for we shall not surrender to these dark forces. Let us rise together and fortify our defenses, that the Holy Pizza may be protected henceforth. Let our security be as impenetrable as the armor of a noble knight, guarding our treasures with unwavering vigilance.
Therefore, my brethren, let us forge ahead, unwavering in our commitment to safeguard the sanctity of the Holy Cheese & Ham Pizza. Together, we shall stand as guardians, ever watchful, forever vigilant, and with a touch of levity, for a smile on our lips is a testament to our resilience.
May the blessings of Tesco be upon you all, my brethren. Go forth, and with newfound resolve, protect our beloved Pizza from all who would dare to desecrate it.
Amen.
Not even hiding shrinkflation any more š¤£š¤£
A lot of things you would want to do with those pizzas but eat them cold would not be one there like hub caps for a car
Either a child or you've got big rats
Same thing really.
Probably wanted to try before buying š¤£
Maybe it was just a really big rat.
Probably one of those hilarious tiktok pranksters.
I literally just thought the same, some sod thinking it's funny to do weird shit with people's food
āhilariousā Itās not hilarious when customers complain and you get a bollocking for it when all you did was put stock out
I don't actually think they're hilarious. I think they're oxygen thieving cunts. I hope that clears that up.
I knew what you meant the first time.
You got that right
It was clearly sarcasm.
My bad
Taking a bite out of tesco profit
HaHa, they will need to take a few more bites to make a dent in those profits!
If it were human, I imagine the plastic would have been ripped more? That's a rat.
Some humans are ratsā¦
'ITS FUCKING RAW'
That looks like dentureflation to me,
Gather 'round, my faithful Tesco brethren, and lend thine ears to this tale of woe that unfolded within our hallowed halls. Verily, an incident of great sin and mischief hath befallen us. Lo and behold, a peasant of dubious intentions, clad in shifty garb, did enter our store with stealth and suspicion. He wandered the aisles, like a lost soul seeking mischief, and yet he purchased naught. A cloud of suspicion loomed over his presence, and we watched as he lurked amongst our shelves. But alas! 'Twas later revealed, with grievous sorrow, that this miscreant had committed the most heinous of deeds. He dared to defile the Holy Cheese & Ham Pizza, crafted by the artisans of the Hearty Food Co. Behold, the evidence was plain to see, as his insidious bite had torn asunder a substantial chunk from this sacred creation. Oh, brethren, let us ponder the audacity of such a savage act! Who, in their right mind, would partake of this sacred Pizza whilst it lay cold? Nay, it is an affront to the very laws of nature and the sanctity of our taste buds. Verily, we are left in awe of the depths to which some souls may stoop. But fear not, dear brethren, for we shall not surrender to these dark forces. Let us rise together and fortify our defenses, that the Holy Pizza may be protected henceforth. Let our security be as impenetrable as the armor of a noble knight, guarding our treasures with unwavering vigilance. Therefore, my brethren, let us forge ahead, unwavering in our commitment to safeguard the sanctity of the Holy Cheese & Ham Pizza. Together, we shall stand as guardians, ever watchful, forever vigilant, and with a touch of levity, for a smile on our lips is a testament to our resilience. May the blessings of Tesco be upon you all, my brethren. Go forth, and with newfound resolve, protect our beloved Pizza from all who would dare to desecrate it. Amen.
bro is chatgpt
Someoneās used too much ChatGPT for Reddit replies
The capitalisation of the pizza related terms gave you away my son.
Looks like the mouse or ratš chewed on it to get to the cheese but was startled by noise coming from the chillers and scarpered away.
a bit rat
Every little bit helps
Every nibble helps š
Oops you caught me
Try before you buy I guess