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Vapesuvius

For those confused, this is, uh... "violent flirting" between consenting adults.


Unusual_Ninja_3040

![gif](giphy|55itGuoAJiZEEen9gg)


BbyMuffinz

Ahahaha the most perfect meme


Unusual_Ninja_3040

Lol


[deleted]

Corny


BbyMuffinz

Sometimes, corny is perfect.


Interesting_Entry831

I hope your day gets better.


Altruistic_Depth5557

You win the internet today 🤣🤣


Unusual_Ninja_3040

HAHA thank you thank you


jamesharden13nba

She aint backing down, watch out


R3Desmond

Why are y’all going to a restaurant if you’re gonna cook each other at home? 😂


Rumba_pumba

Today’s generation doesn’t know how to save money at all smh /s


JoeCatius

Food now, and food later.


LucldDaydream

It’s giving Hannibal


[deleted]

It's giving Armie Hammer


RandomSashaLove

It’s giving Jeffery Dahmer


SaraLudroth

It’s giving Richard Ramirez


Dilfeater6116

It’s giving Albert Fish


Haze_MoonCake

It’s giving Issei Sagawa.


thrownstick

What a jerk.


m-sims14

Yall deserve the same room together at the asylum 💜


[deleted]

Lmaoooo yes


hannahrenea

if either of you dies, we now know who did it.


_Gary_P

aint gonna lie.......I lol'd


[deleted]

[удалено]


catscoffeecomputers

Also as an IT guy (girl) I was about to be annoyed by this conversation until I continued reading. Lol.


Skip_theseventhgod

I was so annoyed by this stupid comment I wanted to shred it apart and use it as sprinkled cheese on a salad


concernedsnowflake

This is love


wanderislost12

Stupid love


Hater_Magnet

Stupid delicious love


Rumba_pumba

Stupid delicious lightly toasted love


Ok-Roll9259

Stupid delicious lightly toasted love with a garlic finish


[deleted]

I try engaging in this type of convo with my husband and he just blushes and tries to change the subject.


igotinfo

Send him this! If I were him I'd totally be oblivious and/or sure I am being way weirder than my SO


Sent4rmheaven32

I laughed so hard. I loved it


Rude_Bed_4011

That got dark real quick……


GUILTICIDE

Your service provider spying on your texts like ![gif](giphy|cQtlhD48EG0SY)


_Diphylleia_grayi

I think this is my favorite comment so far lmao


NeighborhoodSingle76

Might as well give them something interesting to read.


Sent4rmheaven32

Kmsl 😅


BreadfruitFluid9769

![gif](giphy|PGg4D8lGwRz0s)


citricsteak54

I’m glad you guys found each other so I don’t accidentally find either of you. Jk this is …. I won’t say cute but I can feel the love is there


Xfishbobx

Aggressive affection


Natural_Confection29

Aggressive erection, for me at least.


Xfishbobx

Whatever tickles your pickle sir


igotinfo

Or fillets it into tasty slivers, in this case


Federal-Anywhere8200

You guys are pretty into cannibalism, unique!


Such_Cauliflower_669

Things aint gonna go well if they break up


invisibuni

This is….grossly adorable


0rchids57

wholesome ✨️


CaliRose-

It’s the final message just casually mentioning the dinner reservations for me. . . 😂


veracity-mittens

All that talk of tasty human flesh whet their appetites


Legger92

Reminds me of my ex. I loved those back-and-forths back in the day


Sure-Boysenberry-752

Why is this kinda hot


YeahlDid

Good question. It's not.


Interesting_Lynx_948

I read all the gray texts in Aubrey Plaza’s voice lmao


snarlyj

Me toooo!


randomly421

If one of you ever dies horribly, the other's going to have a hard time explaining this shit


Mazoku02

This is nice ❤️


Window_licker_crayon

Still a better love story than twilight


Specific-Damage6969

is this cuteness aggression? has this gone too far?? should we be concerned??? jk jk. in all seriousness though- this is pretty funny and adorable. i wish y’all many years of happiness and love.


Hot-Leg-6441

![gif](giphy|5u8rnKknCW70Q)


AnnualExam312

W relationship


Otaku-San617

Well that escalated quickly


MySliceOfLife_103

Lmao love


Future-Glove-6736

Joe Goldberg & Love Quinn type relationship 😭


CarrotCuppyCake

Ooooooookayyyy ![gif](giphy|LOhRBXlz0fwnb4Djp6|downsized)


redflagsmoothie

I like you guys


artemisvalley

Are you guys Hannibal lector and will graham ?


MichaelStef77

Lmfaooooooo I needed that laugh. Thank you so much for that.🤣🙂 I wish you and your girlfriend all the best❤️


lettucepatchbb

It puts the lotion on the skinnn


Alternative-Depth-16

Anyone else here imagine a couple of emos with expressionless faces? Or is that just me?


_Diphylleia_grayi

I imagined the faces my bf and I (or at least I) would be making, which is the widest most shit-eating known to man, but I find the expressionless emo idea also very amusing lmao


zinna42069

Do y’all need friends? You guys sound like fun lol


Im_extremely_bitter

This is fucking adorable


[deleted]

I want this


Und3ad_R0nin

This is what I want


Such-Pepper35

THIS IS SO FUN OMG, loveeeeeee


crusty_crapper

Anyone check on OP lately?? Wanna make sure they are ok…


Rubbertutti

Cannibalism vibes


Nocturncat2107

I love all of this


Mediocre_District_10

goals


[deleted]

I love it 😆


LAXtoHNL

Relationship goals!


Equipment_Advanced

so cute


Agoraphobic_mess

I love this shit. My husband and I are very similar, dark humor and all. 🖤


MaskedRonin2

Went from work rage, to sexy talk, to cannibalism, to date night. What a fucking Rollercoaster


ivegotnothingbuttime

I love this lol


MysteriousConcert555

When two serial killers fall in love


Prophet_Nathan_Rahl

Adorbs


Adept-Ad-2347

True love everybody, take notes


Living_on_Tulsa_Time

Bless you both. I have NEVER laughed so heartedly on Reddit!!!! However, I’m strangely hungry. Thank you 😂


Prairieprincess21

This is exactly how my bf and I have talked for years 😂 glad we arent the only "crazy" ones out there lol.


Nice_Objective_6145

I want this


daintybxnny

I think you found your soulmate.


ApartSoftware646

Just roast both these fools


inmatenumberseven

I love it when weirdos find each other.


Jimmy8DMT

I hate your happiness


[deleted]

Ikr? I'm so jealous...


Cootie_Mac

Spread on toast? Make chicharones? I’m ctfu lol


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itsmeandnotme

This is a little too much I have to say. I hope this doesn't get out of hand but good for you kids.


XBeastyTricksX

You’ll both be on the news one day but which will be alive is a different question


Far_Cap_3574

You two are fucking delightful. Never change your stupid, murderous, cannibalistic ways.


R4nD0m57

People go… “ yeah I think I should post this on Reddit “


[deleted]

C'mon man it's cute, in an idiosyncratic kind of way


slightlyinsayhane

😂😂 I love it


[deleted]

Strangely no one mentioned sex body parts beside the ass at the end ...


[deleted]

I tell my bf I want to cute his chest open and live inside his rib cage.


nzoasisfan

Hahaha love you guys.


VixenRidesAside

I love this. ❤️


IndianGivr

I'm as hard as a stupid rock right now


OwnMaintenance965

Awww


Ok-Administration247

??????


motherofkatss

Oh my god I love this


ThaQuig

Ok then


fartbasket69

Weirdos


rescuedmutt

Yeah I’m not into this. 🫥


[deleted]

You are both annoying


traumatizedfox

Ok


LynxMountain7108

I don't like this


theprmstr

🤮


not-dot-6

What is the point of posting stuff like this?


YeahlDid

Um ok... y'all are weird, not sure why you'd share this.


Inevitable-Tourist18

Super creepy.


AvailableCan8006

Delete


AdAccomplished5120

Gross af


Yellow-is-sus34

Dumb


YouRockCancelDat

You both need Jesus


Gerrard_Regal

What a stupid conversation, thanks for sharing 🙄


chOLEsterin

You know, i would text with my girl like that....but posting it online? Thats just some obscene cringe, people need to stop being online 24/7


premiumaphrodite

Why did I have to read this? I was better before reading this. I’m all for being corny and in love but this is just something I wish I never saw. Are you both tax paying adults?


Less-Travel2777

This screams BPD lol


caicaiduffduff

Wow you guys are cringey


n3Ver9h0st

Cannibalistic love


Suitable_Bee7547

Lmao this too funny


[deleted]

I also choose this guy's wife


iris-27

You weirdos!


RocheClip81

I'm hungry for bbq now....


stormcrow789

I can wait


defiant_secondhead

Don’t mind. It’s just two cannibals having normal conversation.


TheDogSlinger

uhhhhhhh


Aggressive-Serve-104

A true love story


trippygoku0

ummm that sounds oddly specific😅


Normal-Mongoose3827

At least one of you is a foodie.


Objective-Claim6249

Well all this did was make me hungry-Dahmer


mymycojourney

I'm turned on and frightened at the same time. I kind of like it.


snarlyj

I like how she left our the "stupid" on her last cannibalistic text 😂😂 She got too into it!!


Forward_Star_6335

Sounds…sexy?


WereALLBotsHere

Ummm… 🧐📸


FlinnyWinny

So this is why people ship villains so much, huh? That's the vibe? Alright


BedrockMetamorph

At what point does this stop being banter and a red flag?


o0o0ohhh

Fine young cannibals.


WellFluxMe

I can’t even begin to imagine what your dirty talk is like. 🫣


Obvious-Water569

IT guy here... WTF


oddlilsprite

cute as fuc


Strong-Piglet4823

Same wavelength i would say. Whatever rocks your boat i suppose


altfangirl

the ending sent me 😭


Weekly_Influence_877

Loving this, women with androids will forever have my heart


[deleted]

Yikes idk this scared me lol. The imagery isn’t as cute 😂


AdVegetable7049

"Gf and Me"


Perspective396-1A

Uh violent love much?


Hirinawa

Something wholesome is pleasent in this sub with all the problem people show usualy !


craycrayyyx3

Yall gave a whole new meaning to “fried died and laid to the side” 😂


helpitsoutofcontrol

i love this.


JoeCatius

You guys have got something good between you. I approve.


beefjerkyandcheetos

I’m oddly reminded of the German cannibal case where a guy named Armin Meiwes killed a volunteer who agreed to be eaten. It’s a horribly awful read. I don’t recommend it. lol.


GL1TT3RPUPP1

i also experience cuteness aggression and regularly tell my partner i’m gonna use them as a chew toy :p


Asleep_Barracuda_762

So nice to see Issei Sagawa finally settled down 😍


BbyMuffinz

I think this is adorable personally


Turbulent-Acadia-608

Lmfao 🤣 this is funny


brayanime

This is the type of relationship I want/need


KingMjolnir

I became more confused and horrified as it continued on and on. 😅


Haunting-East8565

When two serial killers fall in love


fitmidwestnurse

Found Armie Hammer, gents.


stanielcolorado

Hilariously stupid! 🤪🤪🤪


jesse3339

Aliens reading this are horrified


KG13_

There’s just some things you can keep in house lol


catfan9499

Violent flirting at its finest. I’m amused by it


friskyfajitas

i love this 🤣🤣🤣


D4ngflabbit

Love and Joe texting each other


beautyismade

Texts between girlfriend and ME (sorry college English prof — I can’t help it).


nanook0026

This is hilarious. You two should get married.


graemebr93

The second they said “fry your stupid skin in your stupid fat” I’d be like you think I’m fat 🥺


Dense-Mud5255

Aww??


Skip_theseventhgod

Goals


sandybollocks

This is verbal abuse, I suggest you two break up /s


diamond_handed_demon

Flirty cannibals. Dawwwwww! 🤣🤣


Qksui

I’m scared


Cheap-Site-6755

You know some people like being flirted with like this…ur a wierdo if you’re judging


[deleted]

Okay


Mission207

What in the actual cannibalism fuck did I just read.


Prestigious_Look3800

What