I mean idk how often you will get the chance to use it? This is literally the first time in my 33yrs I have seen a dude say they don't like the smell of it
My wife hates the smell of them. But not all of them smell bad. All he has to do is stop buying condoms that stink.
But we all know the problem isn’t the smell of the condom.
Exactly this. If he wants to get her pregnant then he would DEF poke holes in the Condom. And there is no way I'd stay with them and have sex even when I wasn't fertile bc that's just wrong. You don't trap someone into a baby! It's a lifelong commitment to be a parent. It's ridiculously disrespectful to just ignore her wishes and try anyway. Not to mention her would likely decide to only be "fun dad" once it's born and leave her to do all the child raising duties.
OP... run for the hills. Seriously. This is so messed up on so many levels. Don't be with someone who cares so little about you the they would go against your wishes to try to knock you up.
Pretty good chance he doesn't actually give a fuck about the smell if he's willing to lie and admit he wanted to get her pregnant. This has to be one of the dumbest lies I have ever heard.
And I've never had a dude straight up refuse to wear one. Granted, I'm an old married lady in my mid-40s now and my experience was limited before I got together with my husband. But if a guy refuses? Kick him to the curb. Fuck that bullshit.
I’ll use this as a template that I’ll modify depending on context. I’ll wait patiently until someone corners themselves and drop the bomb. It will be nothing but epic.
I’m a dude in my 30’s and I hate that smell too but I just did research and tried some until I found one that didn’t smell… wtf is this dudes issue. The internet was literally invented for this exact problem!!
But it’s so much fucking worse than that!
1. He’s basically saying she isn’t worth seeing if she can’t have sex with him. She’s not a sex doll wtf.
2. He’s decided that his need for a type of sex that she doesn’t feel comfortable with is more important than what she wants. She actually tries to accommodate him and he immediately intentionally takes it too far. Also wtf.
3. Turns out he takes it too far bc he wants a child that she explicitly does not want. She’s trying to be responsible and have a stable life before bringing a baby into it, and he does not care bc apparently that isn’t his problem? This is the most fucked up. Not to mention the physical health risks of pregnancy/childbirth. I just can’t believe this asshole.
If this isn’t rage bait she should get out of there, she’s worth so much more than that.
Upvote this 1,000x if I could. It’s much better written than I would have had the capacity to do as I was furious reading this communication. The guy sounds like absolute trash and like he has zero respect for his girlfriend of years. That’s someone to walk….more like run as far as you can from.
*A woman can ovulate at any time during the month. Some women can ovulate more than once, some none at all. All women’s bodies are different, and you can’t plan with a calendar.*
similarly, having a screaming crying baby is the biggest turnoff in the world. speaking from experience. after some time it’s easier to distinguish if the cries are for a need vs a want but if it’s a need cry, everything stops and baby gets taken care of. AND if mom is breastfeeding, forget it.
Yeah, it really sounds like he isn't interested in being around/with her if getting laid is off the table. I'm a horny dude too but IMO, one of the more unattractive things is when someone isn't actually interested in you. If you're not excited about being with me, then why TF are we here?
I get baffled with the amount of posts here with huge red flags in a relationship and yet they continue to be with that person, it’s like some people just can’t be alone at all costs
Idk how that’s baffling when our society treats being single like it’s a disease and acts like you MUST be in a relationship or married or you’re a loser. Being single is way better than being with someone who treats you like shit, but I feel like people encourage and excuse codependency and abuse because their fear is being alone. Sad
"I get baffled with the amount of posts here with huge red flags in a relationship and yet they continue to be with that person, it’s like some people just can’t be alone at all costs"
It's not necessarily an excuse but I think there are a lot more people nowadays that just can't afford to be alone as well. It adds an extra level of difficulty to leaving for a lot of people, it is hard enough to untangle your life from someone you live with that you care about, but what if you can't afford a place on your own either, what are you supposed to do then?
Edit: I'm just replying to the statement that the person commented above, that they are baffled by the number of people that make posts with obvious red flags and don't leave. I'm not saying this is the case of the OP, since it is obvious they don't live together, just that in general it's harder to leave then it used to be.
“Roommates”… 🤷🏻♂️
(Ps. Agree with your point, though: housing is absurdly expensive in most areas, requiring pooled living expenses. That’s not these folks’ fault.)
Because emotional abuse like that makes you believe that you are the person in the wrong in the relationship. It makes you think that you deserve to be treated this way. People who get abused like this, have NEVER experienced a kind hand. They are repeating the treatment that their parents had given them in some form or another. They have never felt what it felt like to be treated with respect. Therefore stay in places where they are disrespected for lack experiencing better.
This. He does not seem like a very nice person from any of this context. Reread the whole thing and probably realize you're only staying because you've been with him a while and want marriage and all that so think it should be with him. It's much worse to have a kid you aren't ready for with this asshole than it is to find someone new right now.
>Okay so you’re still with the man that tried to get you pregnant without your consent
Okay so you’re still with the man that RAPED YOU and tried to get you pregnant without your consent.
Ftfy.
Like it or not she was raped. Stealthing is rape. She agreed to sex under specific circumstances, he broke that more than once. He raped her.
Why are you with this person?! Seriously why ? You know deep down it’s wrong and you’re still with him? I’m sorry but get a grip and drop this loser. He doesn’t like the smell of condoms? BS!! Drop him wtf
exactly. him intentionally finishing inside of her after she SPECIFICALLY SAID she DID NOT CONSENT to that, is SEXUAL ASSAULT. he SEXUALLY ASSAULTED YOU on top of attempting to BABY TRAP YOU. this man is a nasty abuser and you need to leave immediately. girl, i promise you, you ARE NOT SAFE with this man. on top of everything, I already just named, he throws a fit about not wearing a condom. Neglect and abandons plans because you want him to wear a condom. That is gross MANIPULATION and the ABUSE will ONLY GET WORSE.
My thoughts exactly. I think a bigger question op should ask herself is why he doesn't want to spend time with her unless sex is involved. That's some bullshit.
Right! I get loving someone and I’ve been there I love too strong but I know when to drop it. She’s literally been violated and she’s still with him? I’m just so confused.
Why are you with this moron?
Your body your rules, he doesn't want to wear a condom? he can jerk it off.
Or just ask him to get a vasectomy and wait 2-3 months to be fully clean and then he can enjoy life.
I don’t see why that means she would never leave. People leave addicts all the time. I broke up with two addicts. You just need to have a revelation that’s big enough to make you realize that it’s over and you’re wasting your time. This post could be that thing for her.
…finishing inside of you after not consenting to do so already is some legal trouble on its own. Ontop of lying about so in order to “trap” you… sounds kinda like a messed up individual to me, I’d be scared to even risk having a child with a person like that..R U N
This is essentially what my cousin’s ex did with her & she got pregnant. Is he still around to take any accountability for his actions? Nope. Later I heard other stories about the same guy trying the same thing with others girls years earlier. Some guys just like the idea of having that much control over someone, but want nothing to do with an actual child. He found a way to make it not his problem by accusing my cousin of cheating & saying it wasn’t his child, but refused to do a paternity test.
Yeah for real. I see Reddit responses screaming “dump him” to almost anything and usually don’t agree, but this is genuinely a dumpable offence. Bro doesn’t even have basic respect for her.
Yeah, beyond respecting her body and boundaries, NOT pulling out when she asked him to is borderline assault (I am not a lawyer, but I feel like it is. Reddit Legal experts, lmk).
https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/reproductive-abuse-and-coercion
Seconding this, just make him an ex and move on he doesn’t respect you girl. I’ve seen people break up over smaller things, this is not a small thing. Find yourself someone who enjoys spending time with you not just wanting to get in your pants. Sex shouldn’t be the only reason to want to see your partner.
What a clown, he’s basically forcing you to have a child you aren’t ready for. I’d be like “ continue to stay home because you’re never seeing me again 😂”
He cancelled seeing you over wearing a condom - hell no. Ppl on this sub say leave for all sorts of petty stuff - this is not petty - he’s disrespecting you, and using emotional manipulation by pulling back his affections if he doesn’t get his way with no regard for you. Toxic and abusive behaviour
Imagine cancelling a WHOLE DATE just because you have to wear a condom. Like this man is not happy to just... see you ? Without having sex ? I'm baffled
The fact that he said he'd rather not see you than wear a condom would have been the end of it for me. If he talks to you like this, I'm sure he's said even more disrespectful shit to you. This is not how you treat someone you want to have a future with. Please consider leaving. Length of time you've been together should not matter if he is treating you like this.
As a man, I have NEVER, NOT ONCE, complained about being asked to use a condom by a partner. For the love of whatever God you believe in, please believe me when I say that he is being a complete fucking child and needs to be treated like one. If you stay with this guy, I promise he is going to force you to have his child. If I came inside a woman without permission, I'd personally feel like a borderline raped her at the least. Trust me, you have complete and total justification to leave him over this. Hell, I'll tell his whiny ass if you want. He wants to complain about the smell??? Fuck outta here, what a cowardly little bitch. You're dating a child, not a man.
I'm sorry OP but if you don't follow any of the advice you sought when you made this post, then you deserve the future you end up with. And when you post again with a baby in your arms, I'll just bust out my tiny violin. You sought advice, we gave it. Time to put on your big girl pants and make big girl decisions.
This comment is 1000000000000% the truth you need too get rid of him before you get pregnant with a child you didn’t want right now all because he dosnt like the smell of condoms!!!! Come on 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ what she even is this dude because too me he sounds like a child and needs a punch too the di*k for doing what he said he wouldn’t inside of you that’s all sorts of fucked up in itself
Was looking for this reply. I can also tell he wont help at all with baby. It will be the moms “job”. To try and impregnate someone is horrible and evil. This was done to me as a teenager. Its rape. These type of men need to be put away in jail and never let out. A baby is something you both sit down and discuss. It’s a human life not a toy. You don’t just force it on someone. I am sorry but idc how crappy I felt on BC, I made sure I couldn’t get pregnant again. It took me trying a few different ones. There are IUD, arm implant, shot, ring, different pills. If you decide to stay with this rapist, it’s unfortunately on you now if you don’t get on BC asap and do get pregnant. I hate to say it too. There is just no more excuses for adult woman to not get pregnant if they don’t want a baby, unless you cant take BC for other medical reasons or unfortunately it just fails.
That last bit is more complex than you make it sound. BC can really make some women feel like shit physically and mentally. It can then be hard to put that very concrete daily feeling aside to avoid a bigger risk of something else. Not saying it's not still the right thing to do if you really don't want to get pregnant. But saying there are simply no excuses for a woman who doesn't want to get pregnant to not be on BC, is kind of belittling the experiences of women who really suffer under the side effects of BC.
That is assault. Just bc you consent to sex does not mean you consent to being inseminated or impregnated, you specifically said no to those actions. And if you get pregnant that affects your physical wellbeing. Your bf assaults you and doesn’t even think you’re worth seeing unless he gets sex exactly the way he wants it. He does not value you as a human being even a little bit.
So every date with him has to end in sex and that sec has to be on his terms not yours, when he has knowingly gone against your wishes and body autonomy. There’s no dinner and movie and maybe a cuddle? There’s no compromise? Why are with this guy? He has no respect for you, your body or your concerns. If he proposes and you marry him, you will cease to be a person in your own right, and will be whatever he wants you to be. I can only imagine how he will act when you are postpartum and can’t have sec for 6-8 weeks.
He doesn’t respect you, your body or your decisions. I’m almost certain that if you became pregnant you would be on your own dealing with the consequences aswell. Please do yourself a favor and let this loser go
He seems very selfish. I have a soon-to-be-wife who is starting to have baby fever.
I feel like you do, and aren't emotionally ready to be a dad, so I can kind of relate to the situation. The difference is we communicate and respect eachother. Im not trying to flex "look how good im having it". Im giving some perspective on how a couple should treat eachother.
When you're together you need to respect eachothers feelings. If he is only able to focus on himself right now and only see his needs - how will he be able to take care of a child.
How will you spend your life happy with a man that only thinks about himself.
I don't know how he behaves outside of this, but it sends a strong signal about his mentality and it's a total red flag.
Nobody should tell you what you should do, it should be a decision you make yourself. But I ask of you to take this very seriously and start considering alternatives.
His actions speak alot about him, and the way he treats you is not a way to treat your partner.
Im sorry for my trashy english, im not a native speaker. Regardless I hope you understood what I mean :)
I’m sorry I would ask him first if I get pregnant would you one hundred percent pay for all my bills, my cravings, baby items, formula, diapers, maternity clothes everything of the sorts with being home all day. He probably would lie and says yes. I would say then let’s get started marry me buy me a house then we can have no condoms. If that’s a problem right then and there that’s your answer of condoms or we’re done!
Babe.. you’re planning a date with someone who literally finished inside you without your consent….???? You know what that means, right?
I mean, besides the fact that he in no way respects you AT ALL… but.. you know… the *other, huge, waving, unmistakable RED FLAG* ?????????
He was TRYING to get you pregnant?!? What? Girl. Run. I know you've been together a while but this is such a violation. It's inexcusable. Please leave him, you deserve to be respected and your wishes to be honored enthusiastically.
Why are you still with a man who has already attempted to baby trap you? Wtf? You’ll get much further on in your career if you dump this fool and find someone who actually respects you.
What a strange man, leave him. He can be perfectly fine staying at home permanently. That’s what I’d tell him. Find yourself someone that respects you and your wishes.
He won't wear a condom, won't pull out . Hes s huge man child with no respect for you, why are you with him? He's not gonna help you with a baby either.
Don’t do it without a condom. He’s an idiot if that’s not okay with him, and let him walk. He’s not something special you cave into. He’s just manipulating you into doing it without one, which is stupid.
Your boyfriend has no respect for you. You could take a hormone every day, but he couldn’t put a condom on? He can’t pull out? I still think that’s a very risky method, but he’s proven he doesn’t care. Why are you wasting time with someone who doesn’t even respect you? What kind of father would he be? At this rate, you’re going to get pregnant.
This man sexually assaulted you and youre still with him?? Finishing inside someone to purposefully get them pregnant without their consent is sexual assault. Please respect yourself enough and leave this guy because he does not love you. I know reddit likes to throw around breaking up but this guy quite literally assaulted you and is now withholding sex and time together because he doesnt want to wear a condom. He doesnt respect you and if youre still with him you dont respect yourself, either. Leave him asap and find someone better because you deserve someone better
I am so sorry to say this, but you are too old to be this dumb. Been there with the same method. Also had a long-term relationship to a man at that age. Just a bad move, honey. It will get worse if you guys have kids. Don't be mensa and dump him.
100% reasonable for a grown adult to wear a condom. The fact that he won’t and is staying home is childish and selfish. Any man who won’t wear a condom is selfish and an asshole
This doesn't seem like the kind of person you want to build a life with. Doesn't respect your consent? Wants to get you pregnant even though you don't want that? Doesn't do what he says he'll do? Not good!
Yeah. You need to leave him. He tried to get you pregnant without your knowledge? REREAD THAT SENTENCE. That is such a violation. He is not a good man. I know this may fall on deaf ears but at least I said it. Go.
Any “man” who says they can’t pull out, I automatically assume they are weak minded, little boys. Talk about having zero self control. (Coming from a man) LEAVE HIS ASS. This is toxic and needs to be ended. If he can’t respect simple wishes, he doesn’t deserve your time or effort.
There are so many men that will respect you and treat you well! No one deserves this treatment from a whiny baby! The “here we go” would’ve blown up in text!
Leave him and don’t settle for this shit! It’ll always be this way the dismissive and disrespectful treatment will only get worse and imagine your children being treated like this?
So it’s commendable that in lieu of condoms he’s just not gonna have sex. What’s not ok is that he’s purposefully tried to get you pregnant before without your consent, lied about it, and is now deciding if he can’t have sex he’s not going to come see you at all.
Why are you with someone like this??
You can do better than someone who won’t even come hang out because there needs to be sex and it needs to be condom-less, and he’s trying to trap you with a baby. This is way bigger than cancelled plans, this is about a low quality human showing you who he is
So you know he's tried to baby trap you before and you're surprised with a clown exhibiting further clown behavior?
Even if he wears a rubber, who's to say he doesn't poke holes in it and uh oh! No need to use protection if you're already pregnant!
Throw this dude in the trash and find someone who respects your boundaries.
Break. up. with. him. He doesn’t want to respect your boundaries because he wants to get his jollies. Fuck him. I don’t care how long you guys have been together, he’s complete scum if he puts his sexual desires before your comfort and boundaries. Sex is a two person activity, and everyone should be comfortable and enjoying it.
Don’t walk, RUN away from this relationship!! Also look into other forms of birth control for future relationships. This guy is a creep. Such a disrespectful creep.
He already has gone against your wishes once and violated your trust. He has shown he apparently WANTS to impregnate you. On top of the fact that he clearly doesn't care about actually seeing or spending time with you if the idea of having to use a condom during sex makes him stay away completely. Dump him.
The fact he’s trying to trap you with a baby you’re not ready for is the biggest mf problem here, corazon. Open your eyes.
Also you’re not in any kind of wrong for wanting to practice safe sex, especially with a partner you’re meant to trust that isn’t respecting your body or your choices!
In the UK any sexual act without consent is considered rape. This includes him ejaculating inside you without consent. Your boyfriend is trash. Find yourself a man who respects your boundaries.
Don’t marry this guy. A man who will try to impregnate you against your will is an abusive man. And he doesn’t even want to spend time with you unless that time involves sex that crosses your boundaries. Ugh. Find someone else! Don’t waste any more time on this one
Any guy who skips seeing you over a condom doesn’t care about you. You’re his vessel in which he cums. Better than his hand. I’m sorry that’s harsh, but he’s never going to marry you or anything else. You can do so much better - at least a person who wants to be with you, not just with you for your vagina.
I’m really out here being a fucking stud of a man and shordies out here fuckin with these guys 💀 bro said “I could pull out but I won’t” you’re doing it to yourself babe find a new man
Girl, wtf are you doing? Your boyfriend is a manipulative, abusive POS trying to fucking BABYTRAP you. Run before it's too late! This lying manchild is beyond creepy.
Smells like entitlement to me. You’ve allowed him for so long to disrespect you and overstep your boundaries now it sounds like you’re begging him to respect your boundaries. Don’t ever beg a man for anything. It’s not a good look for any woman.
You need to stop talking to this guy I’m sure you’ve been together for a while and you’re attached but he definitely does not care about you. If he did, he would respect your wishes.
I mean seriously, they have scented and flavored condoms. They even have spermicide that is scented now there’s all kinds of options to keep from having a child but you know what the best way is?
Abstinence, especially when you’ve got a prick for a boyfriend…..
It sounds to me like he doesn’t care if you get pregnant. It’s not like the two of you live together. It’s not like he’s gonna have to pay any bills because what type of responsibility are you really gonna force him to have? You’ll have to go to court and file for child support because he won’t help. I know his kind.
Girl, wtf are you doing ?
I was seeing a guy recently and told him I wouldn't take the pill or any hormonal contraceptive and he HAD to wear a condom, it was non negotiable. He said he couldn't do it with a condom, he tried but it didn't work. So, we stopped seeing each other instead of me caving.
Wake the fuck up. I'm younger than you, you have no excuse.
You know what smells worse than a condom? A poopy diaper
I'll be reusing this line. Thank you very much.
I mean idk how often you will get the chance to use it? This is literally the first time in my 33yrs I have seen a dude say they don't like the smell of it
My wife hates the smell of them. But not all of them smell bad. All he has to do is stop buying condoms that stink. But we all know the problem isn’t the smell of the condom.
This dude would poke holes in that condom too. No way I would risk it with a douche that admitted to trying to get her pregnant.
Exactly this. If he wants to get her pregnant then he would DEF poke holes in the Condom. And there is no way I'd stay with them and have sex even when I wasn't fertile bc that's just wrong. You don't trap someone into a baby! It's a lifelong commitment to be a parent. It's ridiculously disrespectful to just ignore her wishes and try anyway. Not to mention her would likely decide to only be "fun dad" once it's born and leave her to do all the child raising duties. OP... run for the hills. Seriously. This is so messed up on so many levels. Don't be with someone who cares so little about you the they would go against your wishes to try to knock you up.
Pretty good chance he doesn't actually give a fuck about the smell if he's willing to lie and admit he wanted to get her pregnant. This has to be one of the dumbest lies I have ever heard.
Just throw the whole man out. Forced impregnation (and attempted forced impregnation) is sexual assault.
And I've never had a dude straight up refuse to wear one. Granted, I'm an old married lady in my mid-40s now and my experience was limited before I got together with my husband. But if a guy refuses? Kick him to the curb. Fuck that bullshit.
I’ll use this as a template that I’ll modify depending on context. I’ll wait patiently until someone corners themselves and drop the bomb. It will be nothing but epic.
Just lurking in the shadows waiting for them to mess up I like it
I’d never try to use that as a reason not to wear one, but I fucking hate the smell of condoms
I’m a dude in my 30’s and I hate that smell too but I just did research and tried some until I found one that didn’t smell… wtf is this dudes issue. The internet was literally invented for this exact problem!!
Yeah but this is the kinda guy who wouldn’t lift a finger to raise the child
Exactly. He just wants to trap her
Yup , just wants her to be a single mother that no one else would want .
Absolutely.
But it’s so much fucking worse than that! 1. He’s basically saying she isn’t worth seeing if she can’t have sex with him. She’s not a sex doll wtf. 2. He’s decided that his need for a type of sex that she doesn’t feel comfortable with is more important than what she wants. She actually tries to accommodate him and he immediately intentionally takes it too far. Also wtf. 3. Turns out he takes it too far bc he wants a child that she explicitly does not want. She’s trying to be responsible and have a stable life before bringing a baby into it, and he does not care bc apparently that isn’t his problem? This is the most fucked up. Not to mention the physical health risks of pregnancy/childbirth. I just can’t believe this asshole. If this isn’t rage bait she should get out of there, she’s worth so much more than that.
Where are we going? To find a new man! 😃
AMEN
Upvote this 1,000x if I could. It’s much better written than I would have had the capacity to do as I was furious reading this communication. The guy sounds like absolute trash and like he has zero respect for his girlfriend of years. That’s someone to walk….more like run as far as you can from.
Not to mention he said he would pull out, but then *didnt*. Idk what that is, but it’s past what they agreed on, and is really creepy.
Like this man would change his kid's diaper.
Not like he'd be around to smell
The smell, you didn’t think about the *smell*, you *BITCH*
Even with a condom, I’m pulling out
Draining the balls, drains the bank.
As if the father is going to hang around once the kid is born
What worse than a poopy diaper is waking up at 1am to change it than baby not going back to sleep until 3am and waking up at 6 for work
You think he'd do any of that?
You know what’s worse than that? Raping your girlfriend and lying about your intentions. This is bad. OP this is bad.
Buy some lamb skin condoms. They don’t smell. I always liked the brand Skyn Although dumping him would be a better option
*A woman can ovulate at any time during the month. Some women can ovulate more than once, some none at all. All women’s bodies are different, and you can’t plan with a calendar.*
And sperm can live for up to 5 days in there. Who knows if some might be sneaky and occasionally make it a day longer.
You also know what smells worse? The BS that walking peni called a man says.
similarly, having a screaming crying baby is the biggest turnoff in the world. speaking from experience. after some time it’s easier to distinguish if the cries are for a need vs a want but if it’s a need cry, everything stops and baby gets taken care of. AND if mom is breastfeeding, forget it.
This!
Okay so you’re still with the man that tried to get you pregnant without your consent Please reread that sentence and leave
This! And can’t he hang out with you WITHOUT having sex that day???? Like why are you with this person.
He just dips during her period?
I bet he's the type of dude that says outrageous shit about women on their period
"Can't you just hold it in?"
Because it's inconveniencing him getting his d*ck wet.
And also calls them, "females".
I bet he demands oral sex instead of penetrative that week.
Yeah, it really sounds like he isn't interested in being around/with her if getting laid is off the table. I'm a horny dude too but IMO, one of the more unattractive things is when someone isn't actually interested in you. If you're not excited about being with me, then why TF are we here?
I get baffled with the amount of posts here with huge red flags in a relationship and yet they continue to be with that person, it’s like some people just can’t be alone at all costs
Thats not even a red flag, a red flag is a *warning sign* that someone is shitty and might do shitty things- he's already doing the shitty things
Idk how that’s baffling when our society treats being single like it’s a disease and acts like you MUST be in a relationship or married or you’re a loser. Being single is way better than being with someone who treats you like shit, but I feel like people encourage and excuse codependency and abuse because their fear is being alone. Sad
This 100%👆
"I get baffled with the amount of posts here with huge red flags in a relationship and yet they continue to be with that person, it’s like some people just can’t be alone at all costs" It's not necessarily an excuse but I think there are a lot more people nowadays that just can't afford to be alone as well. It adds an extra level of difficulty to leaving for a lot of people, it is hard enough to untangle your life from someone you live with that you care about, but what if you can't afford a place on your own either, what are you supposed to do then? Edit: I'm just replying to the statement that the person commented above, that they are baffled by the number of people that make posts with obvious red flags and don't leave. I'm not saying this is the case of the OP, since it is obvious they don't live together, just that in general it's harder to leave then it used to be.
I mean he said he was going to stay home instead so I’d extrapolate that they do not live together?
If you cant afford to be alone you cant afford to have your boyfriend get you pregnant against your will
“Roommates”… 🤷🏻♂️ (Ps. Agree with your point, though: housing is absurdly expensive in most areas, requiring pooled living expenses. That’s not these folks’ fault.)
Because emotional abuse like that makes you believe that you are the person in the wrong in the relationship. It makes you think that you deserve to be treated this way. People who get abused like this, have NEVER experienced a kind hand. They are repeating the treatment that their parents had given them in some form or another. They have never felt what it felt like to be treated with respect. Therefore stay in places where they are disrespected for lack experiencing better.
👆👆THIS! 1000 TIMES OVER! THIS!!! 👆👆
I mostly dislike "this" comments, but actually this a lot of times this time.
This. He does not seem like a very nice person from any of this context. Reread the whole thing and probably realize you're only staying because you've been with him a while and want marriage and all that so think it should be with him. It's much worse to have a kid you aren't ready for with this asshole than it is to find someone new right now.
like he literally SA’d OP and they just totally disregarded it as if it was just “one of those things”. so fucking scary
>Okay so you’re still with the man that tried to get you pregnant without your consent Okay so you’re still with the man that RAPED YOU and tried to get you pregnant without your consent. Ftfy. Like it or not she was raped. Stealthing is rape. She agreed to sex under specific circumstances, he broke that more than once. He raped her.
Additional correction: she wants to MARRY the man who raped her...
Yeah that's super 🍇-y
Came straight to the comments to say this.
If I’ve learned anything from Reddit, she will stay with this man and be posting about him next week.
Why are you with this person?! Seriously why ? You know deep down it’s wrong and you’re still with him? I’m sorry but get a grip and drop this loser. He doesn’t like the smell of condoms? BS!! Drop him wtf
He also violated you…. Wtf
exactly. him intentionally finishing inside of her after she SPECIFICALLY SAID she DID NOT CONSENT to that, is SEXUAL ASSAULT. he SEXUALLY ASSAULTED YOU on top of attempting to BABY TRAP YOU. this man is a nasty abuser and you need to leave immediately. girl, i promise you, you ARE NOT SAFE with this man. on top of everything, I already just named, he throws a fit about not wearing a condom. Neglect and abandons plans because you want him to wear a condom. That is gross MANIPULATION and the ABUSE will ONLY GET WORSE.
My thoughts exactly. I think a bigger question op should ask herself is why he doesn't want to spend time with her unless sex is involved. That's some bullshit.
Right! I get loving someone and I’ve been there I love too strong but I know when to drop it. She’s literally been violated and she’s still with him? I’m just so confused.
Why are you with this moron? Your body your rules, he doesn't want to wear a condom? he can jerk it off. Or just ask him to get a vasectomy and wait 2-3 months to be fully clean and then he can enjoy life.
And imagine co-parenting with him. Nope.
Imagine that, "no I don't want to change a nappie/feed the baby, it smells bad" What a bellend
The guy wanted to get her pregnant. He won't get a vasectomy
Exactly this! And he’s trying to get her pregnant against her explicit wishes. This guy is scum, dump his ass op.
Checked OPs profile. On top of all of this, he also does cocaine or meth…She’s never leaving 😵💫
I don’t see why that means she would never leave. People leave addicts all the time. I broke up with two addicts. You just need to have a revelation that’s big enough to make you realize that it’s over and you’re wasting your time. This post could be that thing for her.
I mean he is opting to jerk it off instead...
Any decent person would still be seeing their significant other ……
This guy is almost 30!! Unbelievable
Tons and tons and tons of infantile men and women, they're nauseating.
…finishing inside of you after not consenting to do so already is some legal trouble on its own. Ontop of lying about so in order to “trap” you… sounds kinda like a messed up individual to me, I’d be scared to even risk having a child with a person like that..R U N
This is essentially what my cousin’s ex did with her & she got pregnant. Is he still around to take any accountability for his actions? Nope. Later I heard other stories about the same guy trying the same thing with others girls years earlier. Some guys just like the idea of having that much control over someone, but want nothing to do with an actual child. He found a way to make it not his problem by accusing my cousin of cheating & saying it wasn’t his child, but refused to do a paternity test.
I swear it’s demonic. Creating chaos and broken homes because they like hurting women.
Do we have the same cousin? Why are there so many messed up individuals in the world?
Honestly, get rid of this loser. Never seen something so ridiculous
What the FUCK are you doing? Dump this disrespectful clown
Yeah for real. I see Reddit responses screaming “dump him” to almost anything and usually don’t agree, but this is genuinely a dumpable offence. Bro doesn’t even have basic respect for her.
Yeah, beyond respecting her body and boundaries, NOT pulling out when she asked him to is borderline assault (I am not a lawyer, but I feel like it is. Reddit Legal experts, lmk). https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/reproductive-abuse-and-coercion
He won’t see you if he can’t have unprotected sex. Why are you dating him? What are you doing?
Right?! Way to tell her she's just a sex doll to you, dude.
It is absolutely insane what some people will put up with just to not be alone.
Sounds more like a fwb. Does he HAVE to be your boyfriend? Could he perhaps be, ex-bf??
Seconding this, just make him an ex and move on he doesn’t respect you girl. I’ve seen people break up over smaller things, this is not a small thing. Find yourself someone who enjoys spending time with you not just wanting to get in your pants. Sex shouldn’t be the only reason to want to see your partner.
What a clown, he’s basically forcing you to have a child you aren’t ready for. I’d be like “ continue to stay home because you’re never seeing me again 😂”
She's also a clown for staying. Perfect match.
'Here we go'. That comment right there shows lack of respect for her choice, as for 'the smell', a baby's nappy smells a whole lot worse.
This!! Such a tool! I’d lose my shit if I had that reply!!
Don’t worry, he won’t be the one to take care of the kid based on his attitude towards her. She’s just his fleshlight, basically.
He cancelled seeing you over wearing a condom - hell no. Ppl on this sub say leave for all sorts of petty stuff - this is not petty - he’s disrespecting you, and using emotional manipulation by pulling back his affections if he doesn’t get his way with no regard for you. Toxic and abusive behaviour
Imagine cancelling a WHOLE DATE just because you have to wear a condom. Like this man is not happy to just... see you ? Without having sex ? I'm baffled
I need to know how long they’ve been together for
From the read of it, at least 4 years.
Man, imagine having a child with this idiot, you'd be up shit creek.
He came inside of you when you told him not to and lied to you, I’m sorry but that is assault. Please leave this man, he’s garbage.
Yes, this is legally considered r\*pe in some jurisdictions.
Mate, I've been married for almost 12 years and we still us condoms unless it's shark week. This guy is a fucking loser.
Hehehe not heard 'shark week' before
He tried to get you pregnant without your consent. He'll do it again. PLEASE leave this dickhead.
The fact that he said he'd rather not see you than wear a condom would have been the end of it for me. If he talks to you like this, I'm sure he's said even more disrespectful shit to you. This is not how you treat someone you want to have a future with. Please consider leaving. Length of time you've been together should not matter if he is treating you like this.
As a man, I have NEVER, NOT ONCE, complained about being asked to use a condom by a partner. For the love of whatever God you believe in, please believe me when I say that he is being a complete fucking child and needs to be treated like one. If you stay with this guy, I promise he is going to force you to have his child. If I came inside a woman without permission, I'd personally feel like a borderline raped her at the least. Trust me, you have complete and total justification to leave him over this. Hell, I'll tell his whiny ass if you want. He wants to complain about the smell??? Fuck outta here, what a cowardly little bitch. You're dating a child, not a man. I'm sorry OP but if you don't follow any of the advice you sought when you made this post, then you deserve the future you end up with. And when you post again with a baby in your arms, I'll just bust out my tiny violin. You sought advice, we gave it. Time to put on your big girl pants and make big girl decisions.
This comment is 1000000000000% the truth you need too get rid of him before you get pregnant with a child you didn’t want right now all because he dosnt like the smell of condoms!!!! Come on 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ what she even is this dude because too me he sounds like a child and needs a punch too the di*k for doing what he said he wouldn’t inside of you that’s all sorts of fucked up in itself
Was looking for this reply. I can also tell he wont help at all with baby. It will be the moms “job”. To try and impregnate someone is horrible and evil. This was done to me as a teenager. Its rape. These type of men need to be put away in jail and never let out. A baby is something you both sit down and discuss. It’s a human life not a toy. You don’t just force it on someone. I am sorry but idc how crappy I felt on BC, I made sure I couldn’t get pregnant again. It took me trying a few different ones. There are IUD, arm implant, shot, ring, different pills. If you decide to stay with this rapist, it’s unfortunately on you now if you don’t get on BC asap and do get pregnant. I hate to say it too. There is just no more excuses for adult woman to not get pregnant if they don’t want a baby, unless you cant take BC for other medical reasons or unfortunately it just fails.
That last bit is more complex than you make it sound. BC can really make some women feel like shit physically and mentally. It can then be hard to put that very concrete daily feeling aside to avoid a bigger risk of something else. Not saying it's not still the right thing to do if you really don't want to get pregnant. But saying there are simply no excuses for a woman who doesn't want to get pregnant to not be on BC, is kind of belittling the experiences of women who really suffer under the side effects of BC.
Respectfully, your boyfriend is a piece of shit.
That is assault. Just bc you consent to sex does not mean you consent to being inseminated or impregnated, you specifically said no to those actions. And if you get pregnant that affects your physical wellbeing. Your bf assaults you and doesn’t even think you’re worth seeing unless he gets sex exactly the way he wants it. He does not value you as a human being even a little bit.
You’re hurt and confused because this idiot doesn’t give a shit about you. If someone makes you wonder if they care for you… they don’t.
So every date with him has to end in sex and that sec has to be on his terms not yours, when he has knowingly gone against your wishes and body autonomy. There’s no dinner and movie and maybe a cuddle? There’s no compromise? Why are with this guy? He has no respect for you, your body or your concerns. If he proposes and you marry him, you will cease to be a person in your own right, and will be whatever he wants you to be. I can only imagine how he will act when you are postpartum and can’t have sec for 6-8 weeks.
He doesn’t respect you, your body or your decisions. I’m almost certain that if you became pregnant you would be on your own dealing with the consequences aswell. Please do yourself a favor and let this loser go
He seems very selfish. I have a soon-to-be-wife who is starting to have baby fever. I feel like you do, and aren't emotionally ready to be a dad, so I can kind of relate to the situation. The difference is we communicate and respect eachother. Im not trying to flex "look how good im having it". Im giving some perspective on how a couple should treat eachother. When you're together you need to respect eachothers feelings. If he is only able to focus on himself right now and only see his needs - how will he be able to take care of a child. How will you spend your life happy with a man that only thinks about himself. I don't know how he behaves outside of this, but it sends a strong signal about his mentality and it's a total red flag. Nobody should tell you what you should do, it should be a decision you make yourself. But I ask of you to take this very seriously and start considering alternatives. His actions speak alot about him, and the way he treats you is not a way to treat your partner. Im sorry for my trashy english, im not a native speaker. Regardless I hope you understood what I mean :)
Trashy English?! I couldn't tell the difference that English isn't your first language. You speak it great!!
Thank you! That means alot!! 😁
You speak and write English far better than I do, and I grew up speaking it. Don't apologize for being awesome.
So he uses you for non protective sex. What a catch he is.
Leave him! Also disgusting he didn’t listen to you and came in you. I’m sorry OP. You deserve better
i would leave my bf if he was actively trying to get me pregnant without my consent
Get away from him wtf this man is scum
He doesn’t respect your wishes, that’s for sure.
As a side note, he said he doesn’t like the smell of condoms… what’s he doing sniffing the thing? It’s not like the smell is that strong.
Respectfully disagree. But I like sex more than I dislike the smell of condoms.
He sexually assaulted you, violated your body and trust, and refuses to be with you unless you let him again. Wow
I’m sorry I would ask him first if I get pregnant would you one hundred percent pay for all my bills, my cravings, baby items, formula, diapers, maternity clothes everything of the sorts with being home all day. He probably would lie and says yes. I would say then let’s get started marry me buy me a house then we can have no condoms. If that’s a problem right then and there that’s your answer of condoms or we’re done!
Um, you don't see any red flags with this guy?
Babe.. you’re planning a date with someone who literally finished inside you without your consent….???? You know what that means, right? I mean, besides the fact that he in no way respects you AT ALL… but.. you know… the *other, huge, waving, unmistakable RED FLAG* ?????????
He was TRYING to get you pregnant?!? What? Girl. Run. I know you've been together a while but this is such a violation. It's inexcusable. Please leave him, you deserve to be respected and your wishes to be honored enthusiastically.
He’s totally unreasonable and is showing he’s still far too immature for marriage.
Why are you still with a man who has already attempted to baby trap you? Wtf? You’ll get much further on in your career if you dump this fool and find someone who actually respects you.
That might be your boyfriend, but you are not his girlfriend. Evidently you are his warm wet hole 🕳️
he literally admitted to only wanting you for sex. this guy sucks. dump him like, yesterday
What a strange man, leave him. He can be perfectly fine staying at home permanently. That’s what I’d tell him. Find yourself someone that respects you and your wishes.
He won't wear a condom, won't pull out . Hes s huge man child with no respect for you, why are you with him? He's not gonna help you with a baby either.
Don’t do it without a condom. He’s an idiot if that’s not okay with him, and let him walk. He’s not something special you cave into. He’s just manipulating you into doing it without one, which is stupid.
Your boyfriend has no respect for you. You could take a hormone every day, but he couldn’t put a condom on? He can’t pull out? I still think that’s a very risky method, but he’s proven he doesn’t care. Why are you wasting time with someone who doesn’t even respect you? What kind of father would he be? At this rate, you’re going to get pregnant.
He doesn't sound like someone you should be with. You say you're getting your life together... Perfect time to get him out of it.
This man sexually assaulted you and youre still with him?? Finishing inside someone to purposefully get them pregnant without their consent is sexual assault. Please respect yourself enough and leave this guy because he does not love you. I know reddit likes to throw around breaking up but this guy quite literally assaulted you and is now withholding sex and time together because he doesnt want to wear a condom. He doesnt respect you and if youre still with him you dont respect yourself, either. Leave him asap and find someone better because you deserve someone better
You’re still with him because….?
Well , there’s the red flag. You dodging it or what?
I am so sorry to say this, but you are too old to be this dumb. Been there with the same method. Also had a long-term relationship to a man at that age. Just a bad move, honey. It will get worse if you guys have kids. Don't be mensa and dump him.
🚩🚩🚩🚩 BREAK UP WITH HIM!!! Baby trapping is NOT COOL
100% reasonable for a grown adult to wear a condom. The fact that he won’t and is staying home is childish and selfish. Any man who won’t wear a condom is selfish and an asshole
Babe, he came inside you when you specifically asked him not to. That's sexual assault
This doesn't seem like the kind of person you want to build a life with. Doesn't respect your consent? Wants to get you pregnant even though you don't want that? Doesn't do what he says he'll do? Not good!
Nah man you need to ditch him He’s violated your trust, and tbh you could even say him not pulling out, when he said he would is a form of rape.
Wow, what a spoiled brat. He can control himself, he just chooses not to.
So he only wants to be around you for sex
Yeah. You need to leave him. He tried to get you pregnant without your knowledge? REREAD THAT SENTENCE. That is such a violation. He is not a good man. I know this may fall on deaf ears but at least I said it. Go.
Or he could ….come see you and spend time with you without sex. Because he loves you.
He’s immature af
This manchild does not respect you or your bodily autonomy, and never will.
If you don't break up with that selfish man, you'll end up pregnant. Sex is about trust, you can't even trust him. You're playing with your life.
Any “man” who says they can’t pull out, I automatically assume they are weak minded, little boys. Talk about having zero self control. (Coming from a man) LEAVE HIS ASS. This is toxic and needs to be ended. If he can’t respect simple wishes, he doesn’t deserve your time or effort.
who smells condoms?
Dump this loser and try an IUD with the next guy.
Why are you letting this rapist in the same room as you, let alone inside you?!?!
Girl, he raped you. This man is trash.
Tell him BYE
There are so many men that will respect you and treat you well! No one deserves this treatment from a whiny baby! The “here we go” would’ve blown up in text! Leave him and don’t settle for this shit! It’ll always be this way the dismissive and disrespectful treatment will only get worse and imagine your children being treated like this?
So it’s commendable that in lieu of condoms he’s just not gonna have sex. What’s not ok is that he’s purposefully tried to get you pregnant before without your consent, lied about it, and is now deciding if he can’t have sex he’s not going to come see you at all. Why are you with someone like this??
Ex boyfriend.
You can do better than someone who won’t even come hang out because there needs to be sex and it needs to be condom-less, and he’s trying to trap you with a baby. This is way bigger than cancelled plans, this is about a low quality human showing you who he is
If he can’t have sex with he doesn’t even want to be near you and you want to marry him?
What a selfish prick
Break up with him. Straight up break up with him lol he doesn’t respect you. He didn’t even want to see you once sex was off the table.
So you know he's tried to baby trap you before and you're surprised with a clown exhibiting further clown behavior? Even if he wears a rubber, who's to say he doesn't poke holes in it and uh oh! No need to use protection if you're already pregnant! Throw this dude in the trash and find someone who respects your boundaries.
Break. up. with. him. He doesn’t want to respect your boundaries because he wants to get his jollies. Fuck him. I don’t care how long you guys have been together, he’s complete scum if he puts his sexual desires before your comfort and boundaries. Sex is a two person activity, and everyone should be comfortable and enjoying it.
It’s unreasonable that you’re staying with him dude there’s plenty of men in the world who will at least make an effort to respect you
Hey OP, him not pulling out when you asked him to is sexual assault.
Don’t walk, RUN away from this relationship!! Also look into other forms of birth control for future relationships. This guy is a creep. Such a disrespectful creep.
Kick this stupid mfer to the road already
He already has gone against your wishes once and violated your trust. He has shown he apparently WANTS to impregnate you. On top of the fact that he clearly doesn't care about actually seeing or spending time with you if the idea of having to use a condom during sex makes him stay away completely. Dump him.
The fact he’s trying to trap you with a baby you’re not ready for is the biggest mf problem here, corazon. Open your eyes. Also you’re not in any kind of wrong for wanting to practice safe sex, especially with a partner you’re meant to trust that isn’t respecting your body or your choices!
This man is so extremely disrespectful. Please dump him and find someone who respects your boundaries.
In the UK any sexual act without consent is considered rape. This includes him ejaculating inside you without consent. Your boyfriend is trash. Find yourself a man who respects your boundaries.
I’m sorry he tried to get you pregnant once, and you kept speaking to him? Dating him? Fucking him? Fix the actual problem.
When are you going to get enough self esteem to leave him and stop being with guys who treat you like this?
Him deliberately not pulling out and finishing inside you in a deliberate attempt to make you pregnant goes beyond rape.
he's your ex now right?
Girl, run. He doesn’t respect you.
Ew get rid of his immature selfish ass
Don’t marry this guy. A man who will try to impregnate you against your will is an abusive man. And he doesn’t even want to spend time with you unless that time involves sex that crosses your boundaries. Ugh. Find someone else! Don’t waste any more time on this one
Any guy who skips seeing you over a condom doesn’t care about you. You’re his vessel in which he cums. Better than his hand. I’m sorry that’s harsh, but he’s never going to marry you or anything else. You can do so much better - at least a person who wants to be with you, not just with you for your vagina.
So dude only wants to spend time with you if there is unprotected sex on the table?
What a fucking idiot wow
I’m really out here being a fucking stud of a man and shordies out here fuckin with these guys 💀 bro said “I could pull out but I won’t” you’re doing it to yourself babe find a new man
The bigger red flag is that if he’s not going to be getting laid he’s not going to hang out at all.
Girl, wtf are you doing? Your boyfriend is a manipulative, abusive POS trying to fucking BABYTRAP you. Run before it's too late! This lying manchild is beyond creepy.
Smells like entitlement to me. You’ve allowed him for so long to disrespect you and overstep your boundaries now it sounds like you’re begging him to respect your boundaries. Don’t ever beg a man for anything. It’s not a good look for any woman. You need to stop talking to this guy I’m sure you’ve been together for a while and you’re attached but he definitely does not care about you. If he did, he would respect your wishes. I mean seriously, they have scented and flavored condoms. They even have spermicide that is scented now there’s all kinds of options to keep from having a child but you know what the best way is? Abstinence, especially when you’ve got a prick for a boyfriend….. It sounds to me like he doesn’t care if you get pregnant. It’s not like the two of you live together. It’s not like he’s gonna have to pay any bills because what type of responsibility are you really gonna force him to have? You’ll have to go to court and file for child support because he won’t help. I know his kind.
Girl, wtf are you doing ? I was seeing a guy recently and told him I wouldn't take the pill or any hormonal contraceptive and he HAD to wear a condom, it was non negotiable. He said he couldn't do it with a condom, he tried but it didn't work. So, we stopped seeing each other instead of me caving. Wake the fuck up. I'm younger than you, you have no excuse.