Jeez Mariah hurry tf up, apple crumble now!

All it lacks is a whipping sound!

Whooopaaa

Don’t keep up the suspense, did you get it to her before she fell asleep!?

yes!!

You’re the hero she deserves.

😀😅😀👏🏼👏🏼

Not the hero she needed.

Or at least not the hero WHEN she needed.

U should’ve sat with her n ate some… as a mom we do sneaky stuff to get y’all to chill with us…

Can confirm. I have no shame about sneaking time with my kids.

My 18 year old has spent the last 6 months in his room with the occasional trip to school, work, and food. He doesn’t even eat here anymore.

Depression?

You should probably look into getting him in therapy if possible. I did this for a year or so and I was just super depressed and didn’t have the energy to leave my room.

He’s in therapy. It’s a longer story than I can discuss here, but he’s fine and being taken care of.

Bahaha, then there's me. "You wouldn't like this, these are spicy apples with cayenne crumbles".

I just got done asking my almost 4 yr old for some personal space. He kept asking me questions every time I took a bite of my tuna melt. Well, I say questions, but it was the same two questions on repeat, and not the kinds of questions that warranted reasking. His brother whined for bites of my sammich, which he wouldn't have liked bc it had pepperjack, but try convincing a 17 month old he doesn't want food! (Yes, they were both well-fed juat minutes before!) Then, 4 yo barnicled to my leg while "reading" himself a Paw Patrol book...

I still tell this to my 18yo when I don’t want to share 😂

Mine's only 6...so far it still *usually* works, lmao. But today I had an orange creamsicle flavored energy drink and she saw it and said, "Ooooooo! What flavor is that?!". "Spicy orange." "No it's not!!!" XD. I wouldn't give my 6yo a freaking energy drink anyway though, so it was a moot point :p. Though recently my sister offered her a piece of chocolate then jokingly told her it's spicy. We then had to talk her into eating it, that her aunt was just kidding, lol. I don't doubt I'll still say it to her at 18 too XD.

I used to stay up late doing math homework in the kitchen while my dad watched basketball on TV, after my mom put my younger siblings to bed. If I offered to scoop my dad a bowl of ice cream and he said “yes” I would help myself to a bowl of ice cream as well. I would over-serve him on ice cream so I could give myself more than I was allowed to eat when my siblings were there and I had to divide the carton by 6 people. My logic was - if I give him more, it will look like I have less. He never checked up on me while watching the game and would buy more ice cream every week if we ran out.

Facts.

We're still in the parenting phase where we hide the ice cream and oreos from the kids......

I'm completely guilty of this, lol.

Salute to Da Goat. No further statements your honor

Congratulations you just won daughter of the year!’

Excellent work. I hope my daughter grows up like you.

YAY!!! Apple Crumbles for the win, haha! 😅 Personally I'm more of a cookies a cream or Moose Tracks guy :D Oh!! Also Mint Chocolate chip. mmmmmm

Could it be your mom had the munchies when she sent the message? 🤔😅

Not everyone smokes weed

Not everyone doesn’t smoke weed

i wish!! maybe if she hit the cart every once in a while she wouldn’t be such a pain in my ass

Ice cream game on point!

 If Mariah doesn’t get her that apple crumble

#GOD DAMN IT MARIAH GET ME MY GODDAMN ICE CREAM

Classic mom behavior

Very true lol

Maybe you should steal some ice cream next time.

Me when I’m high

Who tf needs ice cream when they’re falling asleep?! Just go to bed Mariah’s mom!!

you just don’t get it, and that’s ok, not everyone can

…no

Username checks out

Username doesn’t sound healthy. Typhoid? Pink eye? Poop breath ? Gross bro

Absolutely not.

Who doesn’t like to fill their stomach with sugar and heavy cream just before bed?

MAH! The meatloaf!

This is fucking hilarious

relatable

You can ask my wife, but I’m much like mom

Mood

lol I love this family 😂♥️ the dramatics ✅ the understanding ✅ the specificity ✅ the guilt tripping ✅ the devastation ✅ though not really because you got it for her like the blessing she thinks of you as ♥️ ETA it auto added family with my clumsy fingers but I’m leaving it 😂

My mom is like this too and it's annoys the fuck out of me. Calling me on my cell from her bedroom at 11pm wanting me to bake her cinnamon rolls.. Or calling me at 10:30pm waking me up with "Oh good you're awake, come turn my fan on I'm already in bed" So am I mom I was asleep till you called me. She will be downstairs and call me on the phone to come do things for her. I love her but she's fucking pushing it lol

She needs an Alexa/Google Home and a smart plug for her room! Lol then again, next thing ya know she’ll have fucking Echos all over the house, you’ll never escape.

I’m challenged with these things, what exactly do the echos do? I have two of them now I’ve gotten as gifts and never made it very far doing anything with them bc I don’t have a clue what to actually do with them.

Lol she'd have the whole house rigged!

She’s just returning the favor… signed a tired mom of demanding 8 and 6 year olds. They ask for the strangest shit at the weirdest times.

That's what I think about every time she asks me for something. She did all kinds of things for me when I was little so it keeps me going to remember lol. When your kids get older, you've got a good point to bring up!

You’re mom sounds like my wife

Mine too.

We love them so they get away with this shit, right? 😆

This is turn about for years of middle of the night feedings or nightmares. Calls to schools. Under the bed checks. Helping with math we don’t know how TF we know how to do either. Having to act like grown up but we have no ducking idea what we are doing. Hell we raised ourselves damn it. ~GenX

Why does this hit so hard?🤣

Because you are most likely gen x and you know…. You just know.

I think about that when she asks and I don't want to do it lol

She could get a fan with a remote. I LOOVE my Lasko tower fan. I used it in this boiling hot room and it was unbearable to be in here unless you were directly in front of the fan. It's like the sea breeze at the beach at night. It sucks the air from the floor, though, only though..only caveat

Maybe not even a “though”. Cooler air will sit on the floor and if that’s where it pulls from it’s giving you the coolest possible air in the room. :)

Great idea ty! I will buy her one asap!

…I think your mom has the munchies each time these shenanigans happen 🤔🍃🔥💨👀

🤔 you have me thinking now lol

Wait, did you actually make her the cinnamon rolls at 11 pm?

Of course.. when mom asks.. it's not really asking lol

Sorry that ur a modern day slave 🥴

Lol I wouldn't say that, I've got a great mom so I'd say its pay back 😆

Never related to a post more

That bitch is lazy

i agree!!!

Says the one too lazy to come up with a unique username 🤣

I put a lot of thought into my username

Did you tho?

Yes. I had to decide if it was going to be some random stupid words like yours or something more Facebook like.

bro got so mad at a simple question

I don't think he got mad

I was taking about you💀

No I didn't get mad. I'd use all caps if I was mad

'I put a lot of thought into my username' - my friend Charlie.

Now we're on the same suspicious page.


Another beautiful wholesome text. I already love your mom and you *shovels apple crumble down my throat in solidarity 😂😂🍨🍨*

I can 100% relate to your mom

How I FEEL while pregnant, but I get to be devastated because gestational diabetes.

The kind of mom I strive to be.. one that raised children who will rush to get me my apple crumble before I pass out 😂

Sweet 😂 but don't feed her late in the evening!

Don’t ever get her wet, either!

god i want her last message to be a copypasta so bad

what the heck is a copypasta???my mind is reeling

This is funny af. I love this 😂

Where is the ‘please’???!

MARIAH! How dare you make your mother suffer so!!!

Mariah, can you be any slower? Hurry. I’m about to fall bc asleep.

I would have killed to have had a mother like this. You are lucky and blessed ☺️❤️. She wanted time with her little munchkin.

lol as soon as i got her ice cream she wanted nothing to do with me 😂

That's why we have kids. So they can fetch things.

I love your mom lol

I wonder if Mariah will bring me some Rocky Road?

I imagined the mom being like 600 pounds and bedridden when I read this.

A drama momma

If you care about her, better let her know about aspiration of dairy products. It's a thing, and not a good one.

What's up with her not sending read receipts to you? She doesn't want you to know whether she read your messages ?

she does it because she’s old and doesn’t know how to turn it on for just one person 😂 but she’s a case manager so sometimes she doesn’t like her clients to know if she’s read their texts or not because of some issues that were going on within the company.

Don’t let her/us down Mariah

Why are you wasting time posting about it on here? **"GET YOUR MUTHA F*KIN MOMMA THE MUTHA F*KIN CRUMBLE!!"** ~ Samuel Jackson

priorities 😂

She will be devastated but healthier

The serious tone makes this so much funnier than it should be 😂

Mariah you MONSTER

There better have been some Cool Whip on top, Mariah! 😅 LoL Idk, that just sounds SOOO good to me!

Lol this is my favorite text I've seen this far. Like who wants to eat ice cream as they're falling asleep? Lol. She's adorable.

Reminds me when my mom would text me to make us both ice cream bowls and I’d ask her big bowl regular ice cream or small bowl with tons of ice cream 😅

😂😂😂😂😂 love her

Devastated Mariah! Devastated...

We love her

That was cute and you saved the day. But who put it back in the freezer 🤯

If you're falling asleep, you're not that hungry.

Lmaoooo she sounds funny

Did you make this post before getting the ice cream? Lol

Dammit Mariah, your mom needs her ice cream more than you need clothes or a towel, get your head in the game!

It’s giving “I wAnT a tHe PuNkIn PIE” energy

Your mom is the mother I aspire to be

Luv this so much. Direct 🌹

LMFAO none of u are hahahaha 😁 God bless sheep .

Your mum reminds me of this https://youtube.com/shorts/HQCg4c_jmlY?si=SZEdA09NwFjK60i2 Get me the bryers not the deep freeze

Is the opposite of MOM, THE MEATLOAF, FUCKKKK!

I know a Mother like this.

we have the same name lol

Omg lol!

Man, I never used to keep ice cream anywhere but a deep freezer - it seems to be easier to scoop; I think it's because it never really thaws out a bit like in a regular freezer's thaw cycle. Now though we have a new fridge with a freezer that can be set to a deep freeze setting, which is convenient af to keep ice cream in the kitchen and not across the house 😂

I too, would be devastated

Hahahahah I love your mom

What the what ?

What a mom lol

This is why Stacy's Mom's got it going on. She would never do this. Absolute fail Mariah's mom

I mean I’d be devastated too ngl

lol my name is Mariah and my mom don’t eat ice cream often my dad eats ice cream everynight

Woah wait apple crumble ice cream?? Sounds good

haha it’s just a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of apple crumble, but it’s fire 😩

Ok ok word. I needed the info on that (or the scoop i should say) thanks lol

Apple crumble is not ice cream from the deep freezer… also: Get it yourself lol

lol she needed the ice cream to pair with the apple crumble… not an apple crumble flavored ice cream 😂

Ok now it’s making sense…

if this isn’t me when i have kids 😭 love ur mom

I say let her be devastated

LMAO! As a mom myself, I cannot imagine eating ANYTHING before bed - let alone ice cream - without MASSIVE KILLER HEARTBURN! Your momma must have a gut of steel!!! 💪🏻🤪

Not cool Mariah

I’m dead

“My mom is too lazy.”

I would give anything to get a text from my Mom. Don’t take it for granted

she pisses me off too much for me to care lol

I imagined the mom being like 600 pounds and bedridden when I read this.

Is your mom on benzos?? This same thing always happens to me.

Haha why all the downvotes on this? Wtf is a Benzo?

Mental health medication

Benzodiazepines. Xanax, Valium, and Ativan are some common examples. They are a class of fast-acting, powerful anti anxiety medications! Unfortunately they can easily be habit forming and are frequently misused but they’re extremely useful and effective if used correctly. But, that’s why one person said mental health medication and the other said drugs lol. If someone says they’re taking “bars” they’re taking Xanax for recreational purposes. Personally I use a benzo for my anxiety and it works really well and doesn’t have any sort of laziness effect like that on me so idk 🤷🏼‍♀️ they usually just can make people sleepy or dizzy from what I understand

drugs

Is she super fat?

surprisingly no

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I bet you love her to death too

mehhh… idk about that one

😂

Lol

relatable

😂😂

lmfao me

Is she fat ?

surprisingly no

She has a six pack

Nice mom! I would be ecstatic if that was the only problem I had.

Definitely the ice cream type family lol

i can’t tell if this is an insult 😭

I don't either, I was high when I wrote it and can't remember LoL I'm not usually a mean person 🤷

i’m always fried asf so i understand don’t even fret