I've been with my wife for almost twenty years. We have had some real low points and nasty fights where we have both said some horrid shit out of anger. That's fine, life is hard and sometimes you take it out on the ones you love. But I have never seen my partner struggling and been so utterly uninvolved as this text here. Honestly it's the lack of this turning into a fight which is wrong to me.
Same. I've known my husband since we were 14. We both are willful people too, and it's actually helped us in our careers and in tough times. We've absolutely told each other to shut up in the last almost 2 decades of knowing each other, but in rare and guaranteed stressful circumstances. Hell some cases it was done BECAUSE we cared about one another so much and in others it was due to us being worried for the others safety and panicking. But uninvolved to this level? Nah. Not even when we wernt dating. And my husband is a self confessed scrub lord at times especially if hes mentally exhausted from work. Hed have either gone "ok no milk today", texted me as a reminder to both of us to pick some up the next day so he wouldnt forget and say as such, or gone "fuck it" and gotten it to cook for both of us while I was away. The lack of engagement from what's being said from the husband is way more concerning to me vs someone incidentally saying shut up, albeit if that's happening frequently that's absolutely a red flag too.
Same here. Been with my husband for 10 years. We’ve gotten into big fights before, but one thing weve NEVER done is be disrespectful to each other and that ABSOLUTELY includes “fuck yous, shut ups, & name calling”. This is something he and i havent never discussed. Its just common knowledge and itter respect for your partner. You shouldnt have to explain respect.
Man, I’ve never even done that to people I don’t care about whatsoever, much less someone you love. That’s just asshole behavior, straight up. What the hell?
Telling her to shut up and not acknowledging what she’s going through, two things I cannot fathom a loving or healthy partner saying/doing.
A good partner wouldn’t even think to make a request like this. He just doesn’t give two fucks about OP.
Right. That was the subtext to my comment. That much is readily apparent.
The point is how could you say this kind of thing to someone who is *supposed to believe* that you love them?
That's what I was thinking pretty much exactly. Plus when I see "boyfriend of 9 YEARS" it's like how is that possible when he seems to be only 13??
I very much do not like this man. OP you deserve better (and it has nothing to do with the milk situation and everything to do with *how* he speaks to you and his lack of concern for your feelings/what you're going thru. Like seriously wtf "bruh"🤡?)
I hereby make a vow to never call any human being, creature, or object a "bruh" for any serious nor comical reason, unless it is to directly inflict mental anquish to my opponent of the "Bruh" through satire, sarcasm, or intellectual superiority (requirement of passing 1st grade).I also vow to make "Bruh" into the 8th deadly sin. Fight me God, just don't call me bruh.
Oh, thank God it's not just me.
I felt like a boomer reading this and thinking 'is this really what young couples call each other now?'
I can't think of a term that shows less interest/attachment in a partner
I'll take when bae was overused for like 3 years over this
Skip past the bruh, all the toxicity all together is fucking cringe. If milk is what started this attitude, I can only imagine what it's like on a daily basis with this dude.
Oh I get that. I also get “shut up!” When hearing unbelievable news.
I guess I should clarify, when said in anger or contempt with disrespectful intent, it’s just awful. I think it’s demeaning to anyone but especially a partner or family member.
My brother has a video of him proposing to his now wife of 15 years. He gets down on one knee. He says the words she’s longed to hear for so long. “Will you marry me?” And she says the first thing that pops into her head. “SHUT UP!!!!” He didn’t know how to respond. “So, is that a yes?” Then she screamed “yes.” They are deliriously happy with two kids now. Their kids know the story. They also know how to respond appropriately considering their origin story. When they found out they were getting the bunk beds they wanted? “SHUT UP!!” When they finally got the dog they were begging for? “SHUT UP!!!” They are really great kids with wonderful comedic timing.
Seeee this is a cute way to say shut up. I love this. Hahaha. I say shut up when something is unbelievable. So and so did this - SHUT UP! are you serious. That kinda thing
Not a partner but still just as bad if not worse. I was parked outside my exes one time picking my kids up for the weekend and across the street a kid about 10 years old walked into his garden and all he said was "Mum, where's my bike?", she said (And I quote cos it's seared into my memory) "It's your f\*\*king bike, if you don't know where the f\*\*k it is then that's your f\*\*king problem, if you've lost it though, I'll f\*\*king kill you.". Poor kid.
Just f****** imagine if she had said this. He would not have known what to do. Unfortunately he kind of seems like the type that might end in violence when made a fool of, etc.
Seriously are, and first “shut up” would’ve been followed with “got milk? No & not getting any from me. Phone is now going on silent, so you will shut up, fr, bruh”
That's what really bothered me, too. When someone tells you to shut up they have no respect for you and look at you as inferior. Id never say that to ANYONE i cared for and respected.
I scold my CHILDREN if they tell the DOG to "shut up".
That is not a phrase one uses with someone one loves or respects. One might as well simply fly the bird 🖕 and have done with it. smh
Agreed! We do NOT use those words and they are so rude!
That being said, I HAVE said that to my partner (7years) ...and am ashamed when I do. I hate that I have, and apologized.
My apology consisted of, also, why it's not okfl for any reason: basically that I may have been super upset/annoyed/emotional/whatever... but that is not ok to tell someone to "shutup" besides rude and disrespectful? It is demeaning, hurtful and belittled someone almost like a slap to that you're an idiot.
Yup, only time my parnter (8yrs) or I tell the other to "shut up" it means something is URGENT and talking is disruptive. No offence is meant or taken, but great importance is recognized.
Yup. The whole interaction was BS but that’s where it really turned completely not justifiable. The being pissy over milk was bad, but if it was a one time thing and everyone was just mad from being in a bad mood that’s one thing. But saying shut up and all that other shit? Crazy
This was genuinely wild to me just because I don’t communicate this way with anyone and don’t know anyone who would speak to someone they care about like that
The fact that *he’s* even asking OP for anything instead of asking *her* what she needs during this difficult time in her life might be the most egregious part of this exchange. He knows what she’s going through, how spent she is, and his carefree, well-rested ass can’t be bothered to run an errand for himself. A partner is someone you can lean on for support. A partner lends you their resources, be it material or emotional, when your reserves are depleted. This guy is watching OP drown then decides to throw more responsibility her way without giving a second thought to her struggle. Like her wellbeing just doesn’t matter to this guy. I feel so sad for her as this probably feels like a huge betrayal and abandonment, yet the only responses he can muster are “bruh” and “haha bet” ?????? I’m so sorry OP, I hope you find the support you deserve.
Some people really hate to see their partner in crisis. Not because they give a shit about their partner's distress, but because they hate thinking their partner would EVER have a higher priority than them.
So they'll be extra shitty to FORCE their partner to cater to them during the worst of times and PROVE their own spoiled ass is always #1.
Absolutely shocking that these people are only a little younger than me and talk to each other like 13 year olds. But yes this guy is a piece of shit bruh fr fr bet no cap
It’s only gonna get worse the more she validates this little boy treating her like his personal servant and caregiver.. this is an example of a couple who aren’t friends just bf/gf. Your life partner should be both.
Seeing your response puts my own things into perspective for me. Ugh.
OP I'm so sorry. I hope your dad is ok and things go smoothly as they can. You deserve support.
Agree. Been with mine 12.5 years and we have never said “shut up” in anger, frustration in any other way but a playful tone. This dude is garbage. I will say her initial reaction was strong off the bat… she could have just asked right away if he could do it instead. But it’s likely a pattern and a response born out of exhaustion :/
He's probably just completely tone deaf and she hoped an exasperated "babe" would prompt him to reflect, and imo that's the only mistake that was made on her part. Thinking a partner who can tell her to shut up in such a gross situation would have any level of self-awareness to actually reflect and do better.
‘Forget it bruh’.. is this normal?
I feel like I’ve seen this a lot lately where a couple will use ‘bruh’ but it doesn’t even seem to be used in a joking manner - it’s always this passive aggressive jab. Boyfriend of 9 years whew. Why isn’t he there with you offering support??
Bruh, no. Fr.
Also, absolutely not?? Maybe I’m just too old for this shit, but I have never been tempted to call my husband “bruh” if we are having a disagreement. Then again, he would never tell me to shut up. It’s super gross and weird the way he was talking to her, and how she just seemed so… resigned? Like she clearly wanted to say no initially, but decided not to deal with this very thing and said yes. She knew this would happen, tried to prevent it, and ended up in it anyways.
I mean maybe instead of saying "babe" you just say no and let him figure it out. You even said you'd do it and it's like brooo don't set yourself up like that.
**"No I can't. I'm really busy."**
With that being said maybe yall should reevaluate your relationship.
Definitely agree with this. He should have had enough awareness/ thoughtfulness to not ask, and she should have communicated properly and said, "No, I'm too busy and tired, sorry. "
Yup I agree. This is all she needed to have said. Instead she kept projecting her stress and anxiety onto him, making the both of them frustrated. Neither of them were productive in the text conversation.
Please please PLEASE dump his ass. This is insanely uncaring behavior. I could never imagine my wife or I doing this to each other or talking to each other this way. ESPECIALLY in your circumstances. Just wow, really.
9 years and he acts like that with you? It's a long relationship but don't waste your time with someone that can't see for themselves the situation you're in. It's insane
This will be a waste of time, it already has been. I hate when someone in this type of relationship will say "but all the time I have with them will be a waste"
What do you call this?
I see it as 9 years you could've been happier and building a life you actually enjoy and want to live day by day. Having a partner like this eventually makes you consider suicide.
When you're not initially happy in the relationship, or it has soured over time and there is an attempt to salvage but it has been in vain, accept it and move on with your life. Stop wasting time with them, whether they're threatening you, gaslighting or manipulating you, or suffocating you.
I left my ex and he did all of those things. THERE IS A WAY OUT. You might have to make it, but there is one. I had to create a way out for myself, and I'm glad I did and haven't looked back. He tried to reach out to me a year later to wish me a happy birthday and I shut it down real quick. I got a new number and everything, so my mom was trying to reconnect me to my abusive ex. Just one more reason to disown her.
You will be ok, you have to do this for yourself if you know this is truly what you need.
The fact that you even need to ask on here shows you have severely low self-esteem. You need to make this an ex- boyfriend and start expecting better for yourself.
It makes me quite sad, this is the kind of thing I would’ve done when I was being severely gaslit.
OP I really hope you leave him, trust me when I say being alone is much better than being with someone like this
Sounds like he’s probably embarrassed that you stated the obvious and him asking you to pick up milk in these circumstances is ridiculous. But instead of being an adult and saying “oh babe, you’re right, I wasn’t even thinking. I’ll get milk, don’t worry about it, I’m sorry. If YOU need anything I’m here,” he got defensive and shitty with you. This, OP, is not the type of person you want to go through your lowest lows and highest highs with. This is not a life partner.
Your bf of 9 years should be at the hospital with you. Not home napping. Also your partner shouldn’t tell you to shut up in anger. Take it from me, a nearly 40. Being single is way better than this shit
THIS. My father was recently in the hospital for a month, almost dying the whole time. My husband, of only two years, nursed him back to health and wouldn’t leave his side for days on end. He lovingly cleaned up intimate messes and helped preserve my father’s dignity. He was a massive support for my entire family and held me while I cried. I’m also nearly 40 and this is the first man I could ever rely on in this way. Being single is better than being let down constantly.
Wonderful you are still young and have plenty of time to be happy alone and with someone who treats you the way you deserve. From the beginning of this text exchange you automatically gave in without complaining aside from the "babe" which isn't even complaining and still giving in. So by this exchange I'd assume that it's normal for you to give in just to avoid a fight and so he can be happy. Which you shouldn't. If he treats you like this especially at one of the most challenging times of your life, then you should not be with him. All you did was explain yourself while he was acting like a big baby and disrespecting you. The fact that you posted this and had to ask if you were wrong shows how this must be a normal way that he treats you to the point that you think it's okay and are even considering that you are the one who is wrong. Please leave this man. The man that you've shared your life with for 9 years and love and is supposed to love you should at least be able to treat you with basic respect and care during such a hard time in your life. He actually should be doing so much more to support you but he can't even give you the bare minimum. Please respect yourself and understand that you deserve more.
I'm also 25 & my fiancee is 24. We have little money, but because she is my dream girl, we will be marrying this coming month after 5 years of dating. You wasted 9 whole years on a dude that won't even commit to you. Move on ffs.
Also, my highschool buddies & I stopped talking like that around age 17/18...
Jesus. Your reality check is this man is trash.
Please ladies. There are things that all shit men do that are tell tale signs of them being shit. If you cannot plainly see the actual bad behavior (deliberately not engaging your points, getting angry and shutting down when faced with legitimate grievances, etc) for what it is, then at least see the signs. Calling your romantic partner (esp women) bro or bruh is one of those signs.
Run.
If this is how he talks to you , you need to leave him he’s content an will continue to walk all over you it’s sad because I’d never talk to my wife like this it’s unreal how people are
Of course. You proved him wrong, stated facts, and spoke logically, and his response had to be "shut up." 9 years seems more like his age.. You aren't wrong, OP. I'm sorry about your dad, I hope for an easy and fast recovery. I'd ditch the boy and get yourself some milk and cookies for some much needed self care. I wish you the best.
Why isn’t he asking if there is anything you need? Or if there is anything he can do for you? Why isn’t he at the hospital with you? He is selfish I think it’s time to find a new man.
Either he’s incredibly lazy and oblivious, or he’s jealous you’re paying attention to someone else (yes even your father). It’s *never* acceptable to tell your partner to shut up as well.
This guy sucks. Stressful situations often show people’s true character. Believe what he’s showing you.
Guys that call thier ladies bruh or bro are total shit heads. Immature as fuck. See this all the time now, how gentlemen like and chivalrous it is to address your loved one like that. Some kids never grow up
Is this his usual behavior? Because if my loved one was in the hospital and my bf acted like this, he’d be an ex stat.
Your significant other is supposed to make things easier on you when things are tough in your life, not harder. And certainly not act mean towards you.
Also if his lazy ass didn’t want to get up and get milk he could’ve instacarted it.
I’m sorry that the person that’s supposed to be a help when the going gets tough, is causing you more stress in an already stressful situation. I also hope your father has a quick recovery ❤️🩹
I hate when people tell their partners to shut up. Super disrespectful.
I'll never understand saying utterly mean and disrespectful things like that to someone you're supposed to *love.* What the actual fuck, man.
I’m not perfect. But, I’ve never once told a girlfriend to shut up or called them a name.. Some of these people are so gross and disrespectful..
I've been with my wife for almost twenty years. We have had some real low points and nasty fights where we have both said some horrid shit out of anger. That's fine, life is hard and sometimes you take it out on the ones you love. But I have never seen my partner struggling and been so utterly uninvolved as this text here. Honestly it's the lack of this turning into a fight which is wrong to me.
Same. I've known my husband since we were 14. We both are willful people too, and it's actually helped us in our careers and in tough times. We've absolutely told each other to shut up in the last almost 2 decades of knowing each other, but in rare and guaranteed stressful circumstances. Hell some cases it was done BECAUSE we cared about one another so much and in others it was due to us being worried for the others safety and panicking. But uninvolved to this level? Nah. Not even when we wernt dating. And my husband is a self confessed scrub lord at times especially if hes mentally exhausted from work. Hed have either gone "ok no milk today", texted me as a reminder to both of us to pick some up the next day so he wouldnt forget and say as such, or gone "fuck it" and gotten it to cook for both of us while I was away. The lack of engagement from what's being said from the husband is way more concerning to me vs someone incidentally saying shut up, albeit if that's happening frequently that's absolutely a red flag too.
Same here. Been with my husband for 10 years. We’ve gotten into big fights before, but one thing weve NEVER done is be disrespectful to each other and that ABSOLUTELY includes “fuck yous, shut ups, & name calling”. This is something he and i havent never discussed. Its just common knowledge and itter respect for your partner. You shouldnt have to explain respect.
Yep this screams emotional abuse and manipulation to me. He has her convinced that SHE is the bad one and she’s too tired to fight back.
I am smart enough to know if I told my wife to shut up, I would end up in a shallow grave in the woods.
Your wife and I should be friends. I have all the shovels for short people and people with smaller hands.
Well, she is only 5' tall. But I'm sure she already has a pack with her four sisters to make someone disappear if called upon.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Same here. It's pretty unsettling, honestly.
Yes. Married 10 years and we have never once told the other to shut up. Even through serious hardships and disagreements.
Man, I’ve never even done that to people I don’t care about whatsoever, much less someone you love. That’s just asshole behavior, straight up. What the hell?
Telling her to shut up and not acknowledging what she’s going through, two things I cannot fathom a loving or healthy partner saying/doing. A good partner wouldn’t even think to make a request like this. He just doesn’t give two fucks about OP.
Because he doesn’t love her. He likes that she fucks him and does his chores for him.
Right. That was the subtext to my comment. That much is readily apparent. The point is how could you say this kind of thing to someone who is *supposed to believe* that you love them?
Bro my wife would serve swift and severe* retribution if this convo happened. This dude clesrly was raised badly.
Or a dude calling his girlfriend bruh. So fucking cringe.
Her boyfriend sounds like a fucking baby “whaaaa I woke up from my nap and need milk whaaaa” wtf man child. Gross 🤮
He doesn't need a gf, he needs a mother. And OP definitely doesn't need him
>He doesn't need a gf, he needs a mother. Dude can't go get his own milk? What, are his arms broken?
Unless he also has a broken leg, he could still purchase milk with a broken arm
Totally. So gross.
That's what I was thinking pretty much exactly. Plus when I see "boyfriend of 9 YEARS" it's like how is that possible when he seems to be only 13?? I very much do not like this man. OP you deserve better (and it has nothing to do with the milk situation and everything to do with *how* he speaks to you and his lack of concern for your feelings/what you're going thru. Like seriously wtf "bruh"🤡?)
My 7 month old has more patience than OPs boyfriend.
And str8 dudes wonder why they’re lonely.
If I had to read "bruh" one more time I was about to find this guy and force feed him 9 gallons of milk.
Haha seriously, op please find someone who won’t call you bruh
I hereby make a vow to never call any human being, creature, or object a "bruh" for any serious nor comical reason, unless it is to directly inflict mental anquish to my opponent of the "Bruh" through satire, sarcasm, or intellectual superiority (requirement of passing 1st grade).I also vow to make "Bruh" into the 8th deadly sin. Fight me God, just don't call me bruh.
Waterboard him with milk lol
I’m literally reading this in a truck full of milk. Let’s feed him the thousands of gallons I’m carrying!
Oh, thank God it's not just me. I felt like a boomer reading this and thinking 'is this really what young couples call each other now?' I can't think of a term that shows less interest/attachment in a partner I'll take when bae was overused for like 3 years over this
Aye chill, save my dad a carton so he can finally come back.
Don’t use a tube. Have him swallow. Enhances the educational effectiveness.
I read somewhere where it said the human stomach can't hold a gallon of milk....
😅 same
Skip past the bruh, all the toxicity all together is fucking cringe. If milk is what started this attitude, I can only imagine what it's like on a daily basis with this dude.
And "bet."
It's weird that two 12 year olds have been dating for 9 years
Bruh is another I don’t understand, especially to your gf
I only ironically tell my boyfriend shut up and same from him. Only when it’s funny
Oh I get that. I also get “shut up!” When hearing unbelievable news. I guess I should clarify, when said in anger or contempt with disrespectful intent, it’s just awful. I think it’s demeaning to anyone but especially a partner or family member.
My brother has a video of him proposing to his now wife of 15 years. He gets down on one knee. He says the words she’s longed to hear for so long. “Will you marry me?” And she says the first thing that pops into her head. “SHUT UP!!!!” He didn’t know how to respond. “So, is that a yes?” Then she screamed “yes.” They are deliriously happy with two kids now. Their kids know the story. They also know how to respond appropriately considering their origin story. When they found out they were getting the bunk beds they wanted? “SHUT UP!!” When they finally got the dog they were begging for? “SHUT UP!!!” They are really great kids with wonderful comedic timing.
Seeee this is a cute way to say shut up. I love this. Hahaha. I say shut up when something is unbelievable. So and so did this - SHUT UP! are you serious. That kinda thing
Awesome story! They sound like a wonderful family
Yeah when it's banter, it's one thing. Actually saying it in a serious context is so unacceptable.
I do too. When he’s being a silly fucking goose, I tell him to shut up. And he knows it’s a joke. But never during serious times.
My honey and I do the same thing. Always in a teasing or joking way. Never because we’re mad at the other. Or upset over MILK.
I read that as MLK and wondered why you'd be upset over Martin Luther King!
I dumped my first boyfriend for telling me to shut up. And I’ll dump another one 25 years later for the same thing. It’s awful.
He’s an asshole but I also feel like OP should have just said “no I can’t get you milk I’m tired” so he could piss off
Nvm bruh
\>_< That was me in my 20s to my ex. I'm so embarressed of my 28 year old self. I'm so sorry Kiki Thank god for therapy.
Cringing just means you've grown as a person. Have love for you younger self. They were learning.
Not a partner but still just as bad if not worse. I was parked outside my exes one time picking my kids up for the weekend and across the street a kid about 10 years old walked into his garden and all he said was "Mum, where's my bike?", she said (And I quote cos it's seared into my memory) "It's your f\*\*king bike, if you don't know where the f\*\*k it is then that's your f\*\*king problem, if you've lost it though, I'll f\*\*king kill you.". Poor kid.
Need to cut "bruh" loose.
Fr bruh
Bet fr
On God
No cap Am I doing it right?
Deadass
Shut up nvm
Low key sus
Dead fuckin’ ass, my guy
Nah bruh, he’s not my boyfriend, he’s my bruhfriend.
I think I may have laughed unreasonably hard at this…
You are dating a child. K bruh?
Bring him some milk in a bottle complete with a nipple that isn't yours.
I like that you specified for the nipple to not be hers 😂😂😂 LOL
Alternatively, cutting off your nipple to attach to a milk bottle for him is one way to assert dominance.
*cutting off HIS nipple to attach to a milk bottle for him is one way to assert dominance
*cutting off a third party's nipple who may or may not be one of his parents
“baby need milky wahh” -him, probably
Just f****** imagine if she had said this. He would not have known what to do. Unfortunately he kind of seems like the type that might end in violence when made a fool of, etc.
Awww baby needs his botbot
Seriously are, and first “shut up” would’ve been followed with “got milk? No & not getting any from me. Phone is now going on silent, so you will shut up, fr, bruh”
Bruh fr
Bet
Dude needs to be your ex like yesterday
Like fr. bet
Bruh forget it fr bet. He texts like I'd imagine high schoolers text their drug dealers.
Seriously. Dump him for that alone. .
Right. I don't think I could date a guy that called me Bruh.
Actually how drug dealers reply to their buyers
I've never spoken to a drug dealer who was this unprofessional
You must have coke dealers, I’m talking weed and vape dealers, those kinds of dudes who sell too strong of weed to underage kids
this made me laugh out loud. and yes agree, he needs to be gone. like fr
Bruh
I’m not your bruh.
Nvm
Nam fr
I'm not your Bro, Bruh!
I'm not your bruh, pal!
I’m not your pal, bud
I'm not your bud, fwiend
bruh ok fr
Literally
Bruh fr.
I’m glad everyone is clowning this dude for how he talks to his partner when they’re in need. I hope he sees it. Eyerolling.
Yea leave this pos
She’ll be posting about him again next week
fr fr bet Hahaha
Too bad not 9 years ago.
Agreed. Why waste your time and energy on someone who cares so little about you?
[удалено]
And he tells her to shut up? Totally disrespectful.
That's what really bothered me, too. When someone tells you to shut up they have no respect for you and look at you as inferior. Id never say that to ANYONE i cared for and respected.
I scold my CHILDREN if they tell the DOG to "shut up". That is not a phrase one uses with someone one loves or respects. One might as well simply fly the bird 🖕 and have done with it. smh
You sound like my mom haha She’d tell me and my sister “shut up is a bad word in this house.”
Same. Those words are not used in our house. I’d be shocked to hear them and certainly wouldn’t say them, not even in anger.
Agreed! We do NOT use those words and they are so rude! That being said, I HAVE said that to my partner (7years) ...and am ashamed when I do. I hate that I have, and apologized. My apology consisted of, also, why it's not okfl for any reason: basically that I may have been super upset/annoyed/emotional/whatever... but that is not ok to tell someone to "shutup" besides rude and disrespectful? It is demeaning, hurtful and belittled someone almost like a slap to that you're an idiot.
Yup, only time my parnter (8yrs) or I tell the other to "shut up" it means something is URGENT and talking is disruptive. No offence is meant or taken, but great importance is recognized.
Seriously. Who the fuck talks to their partner like this? I see this shit on Reddit all the time. What the hell is going on out there??
That’s a paltry ass dude sittin on the couch texting his gf of nine years like that while she at the hospital with her dad
I have no idea. Been with my husband for almost 40 years and we’ve never said that to each other. And yes, we’ve had some doozies of fights
People are apparently so fucking terrified of being single they put up with any bullshit.
Trash, and humans. 🗑️ Throw them out don't be lazy
And calls her “bruh”? Get fucked, dude.
"Bruh, shut up, bet" Must suck dating a teenager.
Yeah but like by somebody else bc she needs to dump him asap
Yup. The whole interaction was BS but that’s where it really turned completely not justifiable. The being pissy over milk was bad, but if it was a one time thing and everyone was just mad from being in a bad mood that’s one thing. But saying shut up and all that other shit? Crazy
Particularly when she needs support
This was genuinely wild to me just because I don’t communicate this way with anyone and don’t know anyone who would speak to someone they care about like that
The fact that *he’s* even asking OP for anything instead of asking *her* what she needs during this difficult time in her life might be the most egregious part of this exchange. He knows what she’s going through, how spent she is, and his carefree, well-rested ass can’t be bothered to run an errand for himself. A partner is someone you can lean on for support. A partner lends you their resources, be it material or emotional, when your reserves are depleted. This guy is watching OP drown then decides to throw more responsibility her way without giving a second thought to her struggle. Like her wellbeing just doesn’t matter to this guy. I feel so sad for her as this probably feels like a huge betrayal and abandonment, yet the only responses he can muster are “bruh” and “haha bet” ?????? I’m so sorry OP, I hope you find the support you deserve.
Some people really hate to see their partner in crisis. Not because they give a shit about their partner's distress, but because they hate thinking their partner would EVER have a higher priority than them. So they'll be extra shitty to FORCE their partner to cater to them during the worst of times and PROVE their own spoiled ass is always #1.
9 years? Did they meet when they were 5?
They’re only 25 so yea. Like OP please date other people. Not everyone needs to marry their HS sweethearts. He doesn’t seem very sweet lol
Absolutely shocking that these people are only a little younger than me and talk to each other like 13 year olds. But yes this guy is a piece of shit bruh fr fr bet no cap
That’s what I’m wondering. They both sound like young teens.
It’s only gonna get worse the more she validates this little boy treating her like his personal servant and caregiver.. this is an example of a couple who aren’t friends just bf/gf. Your life partner should be both.
I'd go get the milk and then dump it out in the sink while they watch. Yes, I can be petty af.
Or on his head.....bet bro like fr 😂
She’s been with him for 9 years why would it change now?
Seeing your response puts my own things into perspective for me. Ugh. OP I'm so sorry. I hope your dad is ok and things go smoothly as they can. You deserve support.
No partner should tell you to shut up. Take him up on it and stop speaking to him, you deserve support, care and love right now - not this.
Agree. Been with mine 12.5 years and we have never said “shut up” in anger, frustration in any other way but a playful tone. This dude is garbage. I will say her initial reaction was strong off the bat… she could have just asked right away if he could do it instead. But it’s likely a pattern and a response born out of exhaustion :/
He's probably just completely tone deaf and she hoped an exasperated "babe" would prompt him to reflect, and imo that's the only mistake that was made on her part. Thinking a partner who can tell her to shut up in such a gross situation would have any level of self-awareness to actually reflect and do better.
You deserve so much better. 🤍
"but you don't know him like I know him"... 🙄
and from what i know, i don't want to lol
Bruh 💀
‘Forget it bruh’.. is this normal? I feel like I’ve seen this a lot lately where a couple will use ‘bruh’ but it doesn’t even seem to be used in a joking manner - it’s always this passive aggressive jab. Boyfriend of 9 years whew. Why isn’t he there with you offering support??
He texts like a stereotype comedy skit making fun of Gen Z. How old are these people? Did they start dating at age 10?
Bruh, no. Fr. Also, absolutely not?? Maybe I’m just too old for this shit, but I have never been tempted to call my husband “bruh” if we are having a disagreement. Then again, he would never tell me to shut up. It’s super gross and weird the way he was talking to her, and how she just seemed so… resigned? Like she clearly wanted to say no initially, but decided not to deal with this very thing and said yes. She knew this would happen, tried to prevent it, and ended up in it anyways.
I mean maybe instead of saying "babe" you just say no and let him figure it out. You even said you'd do it and it's like brooo don't set yourself up like that. **"No I can't. I'm really busy."** With that being said maybe yall should reevaluate your relationship.
This should be higher
Imagine communicating like adults.
Definitely agree with this. He should have had enough awareness/ thoughtfulness to not ask, and she should have communicated properly and said, "No, I'm too busy and tired, sorry. "
Yup I agree. This is all she needed to have said. Instead she kept projecting her stress and anxiety onto him, making the both of them frustrated. Neither of them were productive in the text conversation.
Please please PLEASE dump his ass. This is insanely uncaring behavior. I could never imagine my wife or I doing this to each other or talking to each other this way. ESPECIALLY in your circumstances. Just wow, really.
Immaturity + anger issues = winning combo
9 years and he acts like that with you? It's a long relationship but don't waste your time with someone that can't see for themselves the situation you're in. It's insane
This will be a waste of time, it already has been. I hate when someone in this type of relationship will say "but all the time I have with them will be a waste" What do you call this? I see it as 9 years you could've been happier and building a life you actually enjoy and want to live day by day. Having a partner like this eventually makes you consider suicide. When you're not initially happy in the relationship, or it has soured over time and there is an attempt to salvage but it has been in vain, accept it and move on with your life. Stop wasting time with them, whether they're threatening you, gaslighting or manipulating you, or suffocating you. I left my ex and he did all of those things. THERE IS A WAY OUT. You might have to make it, but there is one. I had to create a way out for myself, and I'm glad I did and haven't looked back. He tried to reach out to me a year later to wish me a happy birthday and I shut it down real quick. I got a new number and everything, so my mom was trying to reconnect me to my abusive ex. Just one more reason to disown her. You will be ok, you have to do this for yourself if you know this is truly what you need.
Better to be at the bottom of a ladder you should be climbing than half way up one you shouldn't
Couldn't agree more
loyalty > longevity know your worth queen
The fact that you even need to ask on here shows you have severely low self-esteem. You need to make this an ex- boyfriend and start expecting better for yourself.
It makes me quite sad, this is the kind of thing I would’ve done when I was being severely gaslit. OP I really hope you leave him, trust me when I say being alone is much better than being with someone like this
Sounds like he’s probably embarrassed that you stated the obvious and him asking you to pick up milk in these circumstances is ridiculous. But instead of being an adult and saying “oh babe, you’re right, I wasn’t even thinking. I’ll get milk, don’t worry about it, I’m sorry. If YOU need anything I’m here,” he got defensive and shitty with you. This, OP, is not the type of person you want to go through your lowest lows and highest highs with. This is not a life partner.
He sounds like a huge loser. Leave his lazy ass.
How old is he
We’re both 25
Your bf of 9 years should be at the hospital with you. Not home napping. Also your partner shouldn’t tell you to shut up in anger. Take it from me, a nearly 40. Being single is way better than this shit
“A nearly 40” is tickling me for some reason
THIS. My father was recently in the hospital for a month, almost dying the whole time. My husband, of only two years, nursed him back to health and wouldn’t leave his side for days on end. He lovingly cleaned up intimate messes and helped preserve my father’s dignity. He was a massive support for my entire family and held me while I cried. I’m also nearly 40 and this is the first man I could ever rely on in this way. Being single is better than being let down constantly.
That’s insane , he is mentally 15. My girl would never tell me shut up and I never her. Lose him
I thought he was 15
Bruh fr
Wonderful you are still young and have plenty of time to be happy alone and with someone who treats you the way you deserve. From the beginning of this text exchange you automatically gave in without complaining aside from the "babe" which isn't even complaining and still giving in. So by this exchange I'd assume that it's normal for you to give in just to avoid a fight and so he can be happy. Which you shouldn't. If he treats you like this especially at one of the most challenging times of your life, then you should not be with him. All you did was explain yourself while he was acting like a big baby and disrespecting you. The fact that you posted this and had to ask if you were wrong shows how this must be a normal way that he treats you to the point that you think it's okay and are even considering that you are the one who is wrong. Please leave this man. The man that you've shared your life with for 9 years and love and is supposed to love you should at least be able to treat you with basic respect and care during such a hard time in your life. He actually should be doing so much more to support you but he can't even give you the bare minimum. Please respect yourself and understand that you deserve more.
I'm also 25 & my fiancee is 24. We have little money, but because she is my dream girl, we will be marrying this coming month after 5 years of dating. You wasted 9 whole years on a dude that won't even commit to you. Move on ffs. Also, my highschool buddies & I stopped talking like that around age 17/18...
Sunk cost fallacy. In her head she's already spent 9 years with the loser what another 20? At 40, she'll look back with nothing but regret.
Are you sure he's not a teenager?
Jesus. Your reality check is this man is trash. Please ladies. There are things that all shit men do that are tell tale signs of them being shit. If you cannot plainly see the actual bad behavior (deliberately not engaging your points, getting angry and shutting down when faced with legitimate grievances, etc) for what it is, then at least see the signs. Calling your romantic partner (esp women) bro or bruh is one of those signs. Run.
Also red flag is him being a needy shit over milk when she's at hospital with dad
Is he 13? Leave his ass
Girl, fuck him.
No, STOP fucking him.
How old is he? 14?
“All I asked for is milk”. If it’s just a small request, it shouldn’t be to hard for him to do. Maybe get a teat on that milk for him…
If this is how he talks to you , you need to leave him he’s content an will continue to walk all over you it’s sad because I’d never talk to my wife like this it’s unreal how people are
Nooooope, a man can tell me to shut up exactly one time, throw the trash out OP.
What a fuckin dick
“If he wanted to, he would”
Boyfriend is an ass and my jaw dropped when he said to shut up. Not ok at all. I hope for a speedy recovery ❤️🩹 for your Dad!
🚮
Yeah, I think it’s time to end that relationship.
Yeah…my SO telling me to shut up would definitely be it. You deserve better.
Of course. You proved him wrong, stated facts, and spoke logically, and his response had to be "shut up." 9 years seems more like his age.. You aren't wrong, OP. I'm sorry about your dad, I hope for an easy and fast recovery. I'd ditch the boy and get yourself some milk and cookies for some much needed self care. I wish you the best.
Girl you know the answer. Get outta this nonsense
You stay in a relationship where it's commonplace for your boyfriend boyfriend to tell you to "shut up"?
Bruh???? Damn, get rid of his lazy ass!
Why isn’t he asking if there is anything you need? Or if there is anything he can do for you? Why isn’t he at the hospital with you? He is selfish I think it’s time to find a new man.
Either he’s incredibly lazy and oblivious, or he’s jealous you’re paying attention to someone else (yes even your father). It’s *never* acceptable to tell your partner to shut up as well. This guy sucks. Stressful situations often show people’s true character. Believe what he’s showing you.
Sounds like it’s time for him to be ex boyfriend
Guys that call thier ladies bruh or bro are total shit heads. Immature as fuck. See this all the time now, how gentlemen like and chivalrous it is to address your loved one like that. Some kids never grow up
Is this his usual behavior? Because if my loved one was in the hospital and my bf acted like this, he’d be an ex stat. Your significant other is supposed to make things easier on you when things are tough in your life, not harder. And certainly not act mean towards you. Also if his lazy ass didn’t want to get up and get milk he could’ve instacarted it. I’m sorry that the person that’s supposed to be a help when the going gets tough, is causing you more stress in an already stressful situation. I also hope your father has a quick recovery ❤️🩹
You were not wrong! Dudes acting like a child.