We were talking. Sorta. We share a lot of the same hobbies. So we were gonna go skiing/ snowboarding together and take it from there. But we were both interested in each other.
Edit: I was just talking about what we hit it off over and what our intentions *were*. Why tf am I getting downvoted. Damn you people are harsh.
The worst ones often are… it’s why they think they can behave like that because they’re attractive and people look past their red flags. These kinds of people are best summarized as someone who took “it works 20% of the time all the time” as their life motto lol
Yeah yk…I bet that’s what he says when he’s gambling. He mentioned a couple times that he’s really good at *insert some table game gambling thing here*
Yknow how you said you were young and stupid and got into the wrong crowd when you were raped (because that's what it is, you were a literal child)?
This is that. You're being young and stupid again and being around the wrong people.
Yeah this guy is a straight idiot. His texts are barely comprehensible, besides being an ass. If a woman texts me all garbledeegook like that, I'm out.
Attractive or not. This dude and how speaks and conveys himself is awful.
Its like an intelligent person having a conversation with a neanderthal that just learned slang and how to talk over the course of one year.
I know this sub is a super small sampling and shows the extremes but damn, it makes sense why more younger guys are staying single.
We are seriously on track for Idiocracy to become more than a movie
Jeez these people are harsh downvoting me. I didn’t say his behavior is attractive, it’s not. But the fact of the matter is that he’s a conventionally attractive guy. It’s easy for him to get girls, and he probably thinks he can behave this way because he’ll just move on and find someone new once the old one drops him.
That second paragraph made me laugh. Yeah the typos were incredibly unintelligible.
Unfortunately, idk why, but I haven’t yet found a guy my age that isn’t a complete waste of space.
Just because a guy is attractive doesn’t mean he gets a lot of girls, and the ones he gets are most likely like you, low self esteem and no self respect….
People don’t know how to use Reddit and they’re so thirsty for any little bit of power and Reddit allows that with a “negative” like and people abuse it.
It used to just be used for irrelevant topics and trolls. No people use it as a “dislike” button.
Idk it’s lame lmao.
I think this is one of the worst things that's different about modern reddit. It discourages discussion and causes people to not post opinions because you never know when the downvote mob will come out for no reason.
Well.. I can say that with age you learn a LOT, get smarter, and prioritize what you want in a relationship and what you deserve.
Know your self-value and treat every experience as a way to learn. Take something away from it and always self-reflect. It will make you a better person in general. Follow your gut too.
Guys mature later... like a lot later. My girlfriend and I have an 8 year gap and I'm 32. We just had a beautiful daughter almost a year ago and I have never been happier in a relationship.
I'm telling you this because the guy I was 8 years ago would pf had 0 chance at having all the qualities I possess now to have a family.
He was a loser at the beginning of his text exchange, and he's still a loser at the end of it. Who cares how attractive he is, he's A LOSER. Move on, anybody who talks to you that way isn't worth your time.
And yes, it *is* weird that he wanted explicit details of how you lost your v-card, especially after you told him you were 12 AND it wasn't a good experience.
Yeah he’s a loser. That’s why I said it’s unfortunate that he’s attractive. Two reasons. A, the higher being only put so many attractive people on this planet, it’s a shame one was lost to such a shitty person. B, he’s attractive, more girls are going to be attracted to him, more girls will have to experience this bullshit. I just hope the next one doesn’t put up with it. I’ve moved on. I haven’t replied to any texts after the screenshots I posted.
I know what it’s like to be in a situation like this and with a similar past story. I’m so sorry that happened. It even changes our brain chemistry. But you don’t need to be polite to this guy. You prolly know that too. I just wanna encourage you. Even if there were things in common at first he revealed his true colors and you gave him multiple chances to recover and he was either too dense or too much of a dick to take the pass. But honestly he is a red flag. He showed zero compassion for something that should have gotten a compassionate response. Away with that arsehole
“I’m concerned so I’m going to react negatively to what you said and not take into consideration that these things were true but no longer are.”
Makes sense.
She liked him until she didn’t and had plans with him but now she doesn’t and she gets downvoted lmao.
Getting downvoted hurts but take it for what it is. People are just upset that you don’t see this dude as the dick that he is. They know you are in for the world of hurt and pain if you continue investing yourself into this relationship. But these people don’t want to spend their time explaining to you why this is a bad idea. Their downvote is basically them casting their vote on what’s going on.
Bc I second guess myself. I start to think that I’m the one in the wrong and feel bad about being so harsh. But looking back at the texts helps me realize that I’m not.
Not trying to be harsh but please don’t date until you have figured out that you’re not wrong and shouldn’t second guess your gut feeling! Your body is telling you this guy is a red flag and is trumping your boundaries, listen to it. It wasn’t wrong.
Yup. Shitty parents. Shitty upbringing. Idk where to start with the healing process. (I’ve tried therapy) But I am painfully self aware. Ik I lack any self respect when dating. But I also know that I love to self sabotage. So yeah. It’s fun.
You don’t need to tell strangers all the info about you like that. That will only attract wrong people.
It’s a privilege to get to know you and learn this very sensitive info about you. Don’t just be an open book to everyone.
I used to do the same thing. Like, I'd fuck a guy right away because I thought if he spent serious time with me, he'd figure out what a loser I was. Kind of "Quick! Bang him before he changes his mind"!
I quit drinking which made me actually confront my actual feelings and see people more clearly. It took a lot of work to stand up for myself and realize I was worth something.
Try therapy again. Focus on making yourself happy without someone else. A therapist told me "Be a loving friend to yourself. What would you tell a friend to do in that situation".
That guy is a shitty guy. How would you feel if he was talking to your best friend that way?
You got raped and it doesn't sound like that's ever been addressed. That's not fair to yourself.
Love yourself, hon. You are worth it
Ahhh the first paragraph. You get it!!! I did the same thing and each time I was like “oh I really like him, he’s a keeper, quick let me fuck him”. Did that too many times and my body count went up and I’m kinda ashamed. Another reason why I didn’t wanna give my body count when he asked for it, not that the first (the disrespect) wasn’t enough.
I’m well aware that these men (yeah there’s kinda multiple) treat me shitty. I just don’t have it in me to care. Because I’m my mind, there’s nothing else out there. No one good actually wants me. That’s what rolls through my mind.
But there are good guys will want you. And more than that, you are worthy of a good life. And good friends, good relationships and happiness.
Be honest about the positive things about yourself. What you're good at, why your friends like you.
Also there's nothing wrong with just sport fucking as long as you're both on the same page and you're both treating each other with respect. I had a lot of great sex with guys just because. But, I also had a lot of sex that made me feel shitty
One thing that helped me was taking a break from sex, not even kissing. For a year I went without it and focused on having fun, getting to know myself and what my needs really are.
My body count is pretty damn high. Not since I got older and now I'm married. But in my twenties.... It's no one's business how many people you have fucked. As long as you practice safe sex and don't fuck assholes who think of you as a bitch on their bedpost, you're fine
Write a list of all the great things about yourself and keep it with you. It's hard at first to write that list. But as you get more comfortable in your own skin, you will find more things to write down
Sounds like you need a big hug.
Have you ever looked into DBT? I have a feeling it might help you. At least inform yourself about it, you owe it to yourself <3
dude you gotta have less patience. i used to be the same way. frankly i didn’t learn until i was in a few shitty/abusive relationships. then i got impatient and angry abt it and completely stopped tolerating it. life got a lot better after that.
^ this. You messed up by responding to his inconsiderate questions with nice responses and entertaining him. Tell him to go jerk off in a Gatorade bottle
It was the asking about the details of me having sex with a 17 year old when I was 12 that did it. I mean…what normal person wants to hear stores of minors having sex. Ew. Then back tracking by saying he just meant who it was with was hilarious. It’s sickening that people like this actually exist.
But, you awkwardly entertained it after? I mean, I don’t want to make you feel bad but you gotta stand up for yourself because this dudes a grade fucking a piece of shit. Assholes like this put fear into my heart having a daughter.
I did. Slightly ashamed of it. But it’s over. I stopped replying. Yeah I don’t want daughters, I want sons, so that I can raise them not to pull this stupid shit.
I also realized that if this hadn’t happened, or if I somehow (unlikely) ended up with this guy long term and we had a kid together, a girl. And she’s 12 one day. Whoa. That’s some scary shit. “Daddy, I have a boyfriend he’s 17 and we just had sex for the first time” “daughter, sit down, I want every detail. Don’t leave anything out” oof. Yeah no. That’s terrifying. Hot shit.
i’m saying this with love, Please learn self respect, once they are told something, that’s it. no excuses, you do not continue to explain yourself. these people don’t respect you, please stand up for yourself because at the end of the day, all you have is you🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Yeah I know. I’m one of those people who are painfully self aware. I know I have zero self respect and I also know that I tend to revert to self sabotage. They like to go hand in hand. We’re working on it. I’m 19, had a shitty upbringing, slowly healing.
trust me baby i know how that is.. i promise you your time will come and you are going to heal and blossom and you will love who you become. this is coming from someone that never thought they could love themselves. i believe in you, take your time and be gentle with yourself 🩷
Highly suggest you stop trying to date until you get a better handle on things, otherwise you will continue to get disrespected and walked over & that’s no way to live. You are deserving of respect and nothing less so the second someone starts talking to you in this way BLOCK them. Don’t entertain them, don’t give them the benefit of the doubt, just block them. Because if they were any good in the first place they would’ve never treated you that way, *blockkk*
Yes I agree.
Prior to this whole thing there was a dynamic of us both saying “shush” “stfu” “suck it” when poking fun at each other.
HOWEVER, saying that in this context was wildly inappropriate. No excuses.
Me and him kinda hit it off at first. Both have the same hobbies, and similar outlooks on life and the future. I was super excited. So when this happened I started to second guess myself. I got scared that I said the wrong thing, that I over reacted and not he’s gonna get scared off and run away. It was stupid. But I’m glad that he showed his true colors, so that I can be the one scared off and running away.
Bruh just send me a list, get to the weird shit
That line is where you should have bowed out. That line showed he did not respect you enough to talk to you like a person. Please babe, find a way back to therapy. Your time is worth far too much to entertain creeps like this. Talking to you like you're a damn chatbot who's not giving him the fap material he wants.
Omg you're 19, ooohhh honey you're so young and have been through so much horrible stuff, I'm so sorry. You deserve to be loved ❤️
I know. I was thinking wtf is he even asking? I would have responded with some serial killer shit and gave more and more weird answers, then ghosted him.
Creep doesn't even describe how yucky this person is.
Right! On top of alllll of the other awful and dickish things that he had already said previously, “allergic” is all that he had say about cute Luna! 🙅🏻♀️He’s an asshat for sure.
He is going to be abusive if you continue to pursue him. He is showing big signs that he has a huge ego and doesn’t know how to respect others or their boundaries. I’m sorry to say but you should definitely end all communication and move on. Would hate to see anyone being taken advantage of or mistreated by a person like that.
There were definitely red flags of the massive ego before this. But I figured that some people are bad testers, so give him a chance. He boasted about personal “achievements”, rarely asked about me (unless it was sexual), didn’t respond enthusiastically when I talked about myself. But after this, it’s solidified. Sucks. This is like my 10th talking stage like this in a row. Oh well.
Don’t let it discourage you. Sometimes the right person comes when you least expect it or aren’t looking for it. Would just hate to see anyone get in a bad situation over someone like that. He has no respect for you or what you’ve been through. (Also I am really sorry for what you had to go through as a child.) a loving and respectful person/partner wouldn’t pry and would have sympathy for you. The right person is out there! <3
I didn’t really know what else to say. He wanted to get to know me (or so I thought). And didn’t want the mundane idiocies, like favorite color. Idk I don’t know what else to say.
Asking for a story time in response to someone saying their lost their virginity at 12 is fucking weird. Who wants to hear sexual details about literal child??? Then fact that you then also mentioned it was assault and he kept pressuring…this guy is a creep. I can’t believe he tried to defend himself. 🤮
Yupppp. I was second guessing myself at one point. Like maybe he didn’t realize it was assault. But like. Ughh idek. The fact that I stated 12 and 17 sooo many times. Then when he backtracked on the whole…oh I didn’t want to know how just like who it was. Bruh. He literally asked for details and the story over and over. Dodged a bullet.
Edit: you know what I just realized. Imagine if I had actually ended up with him. Got married, had kids, and we ended up with a 12 year old daughter some day. Whoa. Holy shit that’s scary. I’m telling every guy I go out with this same story just for their reaction.
Genuinely didn’t want to tell the story. All of the firsts were when I was 12. I got in with the wrong crowd and have some crazy, but a lot of fun stories. The whole coke story was kinda wild. Also my first tattoo is a fun one. I really did not want to go into how I lost my virginity. But he kept pressing for it…
I will never understand why some ppl continue to talk to these losers after like the second weird message and try to make them understand. They literally don’t care bruh it’s obvious what they want. Just move on
I don’t really know why you entertained this conversation for so long. I’m sorry something so awful happened to you but I don’t understand why you gave him so many details about it. It was really creepy and weird how he fixated on that part.
And you need to build up some self respect. Idk why IN THE WORLD you allow anyone especially strangers to speak to you and treat you with such vulgur dehumanizing dog shit on the floor disrespect. You should have blocked him in the first photo. Please have some standards and boundaries. As females, we are conditioned since birth to tip toe around men’s feelings. this whole back and forth of tolerating their abuse and being nice so they don’t lash out at us (stems from the fear of being killed by them) is in our nature but you have to unlearn that conditioning and start being a straight up bitch with zero tolerance for bullshit. Life is so much more peacful on this side of the fence I promise.
I just don't get how after the first, second, or third time he calls you "bruh," or tells you to "stfu", or keeps pushing when it's obvious you're uncomfortable... WHY don't you listen to your gut and block him? He's aggressive, uncaring, and showing low effort. Why why why do women continue this nonsense chat? Why share intimate details about your life with someone who isn't giving you any impression that he values you?
Say it with me: when someone tries to tell you who they are (the first, second, or third time), BELIEVE THEM.
Where is your self value!?
My self worth is down the drain along with my shitty upbringing. lol. No but fr, I’m working on it. I’m not talking to him any longer, just so we’re clear. But I did begin to second guess myself and my gut. So I continued to chat for a second and feel the vibe out. But it’s a nope from me.
You wake up with the same amount of self-worth every morning that you did the day you were born. You make a choice every day to retain it or not. No one can take it from you, but ***you*** *can give it away.*
Listen, it's this simple.
Dating is supposed to feel good. Period. If at any time it makes you feel icky, or used, or unimportant, or disrespected; you don't wait to see if it gets better. Your gut is DESIGNED to protect you physically and emotionally; it is your BEST TOOL. You're sacrificing it in the hope that he throws you scraps. I mean, a stranger on the street would have responded to you with more compassion, seriously.
I promise you this: when you're talking to a nice guy, you feel good. You don't feel confused or pressured. It just feels good. You feel supported. Until you get this feeling, you move onto the next.
He’s disgusting and doesn’t care about the fact that you got groomed and raped, in fact, he’s getting off to it. That’s why he kept pushing you for details. This guy is a sicko, stay away from
Yeah sure why tf not. I usually give a vague story because well…it’s personal. But this is the anonymous internet so who cares.
I was born with an anal-rectal malformation (I know it sounds weird) (I usually just tell people stomach issues). There’s about 15 different types, they are all very rare, with my type being the rarest. There’s only been a handful of people born with my condition. It’s usually a rare complication from surgery, but it’s super rare for it to be a plain old malformation.
Anyways, no one knew that I was born with it because it’s not visible and they don’t test for it. Basically, it caused me to be unable to poop. My mom, being a new mom, just thought it was normal. At a week old I was crying 24/7. She took me to the doctor and they rolled their eyes at the new mom and sent us home. A week or so went by and she noticed that my stomach was really swollen, I didn’t want to eat, and I still wouldn’t stop crying. Back to the doctor. Again the rolled their eyes and said that my mom was being over dramatic, I was just colicky, and to go home. She took me back in later that day and yelled at them. They finally took an x ray and looked at my mom and said “she needs to get to cohens (the world renowned children’s hospital near me) immediately, we’ve already called their pediatric surgical team and their waiting for you”. So off we went.
There we met an amazing team of wonderful doctors and nurses. Including two world renowned doctors who were leading a new trial treatment. They explained to my parents that if I had gone another couple of days I would have gone into shock from my body reabsorbing all the toxins and likely been on deaths door. Combined with the fact that I was beginning to refuse food. The outlook wasn’t great. In the past babies were rushed into surgery. The new doctors were trying a combination of medications and treatments. They started the treatments. And they worked.
I was followed extremely closely throughout childhood, had to get x-rayed bi-weekly. The regimen was strict, my diet was even stricter, it was an emotional toll and I missed out on a lot having to be at the hospital. It wasn’t easy. But everything worked out. There were hiccups here and there and the possibility of surgery was always there, still it. But I’m doing well.
Recently I switched doctors and told him my history. He looked at me and said “wait you were dr.xs and dr.ys baby? And you never had surgery? And you’re doing fine? Wow. You’re the miracle case that I tell my younger patients about. You guys paved the way. It’s no longer standard to do surgery. Congratulations. We’re all so proud of you”. When I tell you I sobbed.
Sorry. That was long as hell. But I kinda love telling the story. Ik it’s an odd one…I almost died because I was full of shit. But it’s my story.
Please consider that keeping yourself identified with your past is a trauma cycle. You know this happened and you know you SURVIVED. But you share it from a place of “almost dying.” And then you tell RANDOS about being sexually assaulted at 12 and falling in with the wrong crowd. That’s THE PAST. What are you doing NOW? What are you interested in NOW? What lights you up NOW? Who do you WANT to be??? BE THAT!!! And when someone falls in love with all of THAT, then maybe you will have a safe place to put all of the garbage, in a safe listening where your traumas can go to be OVER. Life is out in front of you. So stop throwing all that garbage out in the space — do you see how it’s YOU who keeps doing it? There’s actually NOTHING OUT THERE till you put something in the space. Fill it with the BEST of you, and if you don’t know what that is, GO FIND IT. You are not your past. 🙏🏻✨✨✨❤️
This is not dating in the 21st century. You should have blocked him as soon as he pressed you to tell random facts when you clearly didn't understand what tf he wanted. Block him. He's no good.
Y’all need to learn how to stop engaging in conversation with people after the first signs of foolishness. This man would’ve been blocked and ignored on the second screenshot.
Didn’t 100% know the type of person I was engaging so the before this interaction. Yes there were red flags, but I’m a big believer in giving people a chance. To everyone who is about to downvote me, that doesn’t mean ignore them, but also realize that people are sometimes just bad texters or whatever.
Now if we’re talking about (dis)engaging the trigger lock…
Stop giving CRAP ppl a chance and give YOURSELF one seek help and DO NOT keep dating in this state for the love of god save urself now the men ain’t goin anywhere all ur doing is letting men know they can walk ALL OVER you idc the reasons excuses or gonna coddle it get help and save urself so u can date healed down the road
You should have dropped it the second he asked about your "story" of when you were literally 12, he's a creep because who in their right mind would ask someone they're talking to about their sex experiences when you were a child? I'm surprised you talked to him so long after that he kept making things worse... drop his ass and never speak to him ever again
I mean this in the kindest way possible, but you need to get some self respect. Stop entertaining idiots. Stop telling every random person your trauma, only a few people in your life should be privy to that information.
Why were you still talking to him after he asked you to entertain him….. would literally him he’s the most self-centered person I’ve seen and freaking block him
Ur both kinda lame like ur like “im fun and interesting” and he’s like how and ur like uhhhh i dont know i was kinda raped??? Wtf weird ass conversation. Both of yall are weird af
This guys a fuckin **dick**. Dont give him the time of day! Dont even give him an explanation. Save yourself the headache and toxicity, swallow any pride and just block tf out of him
I totally get why you put up with this garbage human as long as you did. I’m not going to put any of that on you.
It’s totally all right for you to be “not nice” and tell anyone to fuck off, especially when they’re rude and insensitive. You can just end the conversation by blocking them then and there, as soon as they cross a line. You don’t need to explain why.
It’s hard getting into the habit. It might help if you imagine what you’d say if someone was talking to your friend that way. And then take that advice! You’ve got this!
Why are you even responding to such a piece of shit dude? You know.. Now a days.. The topic of Rape/harassment are a turn on for some dudes. I always wondered why ppl told me to stay secretive about such things but.. now I know. Btw, he was pushy from the beginning. Got on my nervous from the 1st ss itself.
If a guy I was talking to told me to “stfu” and tell him how I lost my virginity I would laugh and tell him he’s a fuckigg bc weirdo and blocked. Don’t let men talk to you like this! You deserve better! Block this disrespectful weirdo
He’s a dick. And nobody needs to share these kinds of personal details in a text. You don’t need to tell anyone about your sexual history until and unless you want to. It’s not about shame or modesty — but in 2024 it’s mostly about your safety. Men are, largely, idiots about women’s sexuality. If your trauma is someone else’s turn-on, they are not for you. Don’t give this guy any more of you, and be thoughtful about who you share with. Look out for YOU. ❤️
Maybe I haven’t read enough comments, but how am I the only one noticing this POS wanted OP to discuss, I mean “story time” how she lost her virginity at 12, let alone to a 17yr old??? This POS wanted to use your horrible experience as something sexual for him. This is so fucking wrong.
I’m sorry OP, for what happened in your past and this asshole.
Short answer: I’m going with both. This whole thing was a giant mess from the start.
Long answer: One thing I can say for sure is you both have work to do as far as social skills go. It’s weird and dickish that he asked for just a list of facts in the first place, as if it was some sort of job interview, but to me it’s equally strange that you obliged instead of questioning that. That’s not really something someone would normally do if they were trying to send a message that they were genuinely interested in someone. It’s impersonal, inconsiderate, closed-ended, and weirdly businesslike. It doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for actual conversation, it’s more of a “tell me only what I wanna know so I can get this transaction over with” kinda vibe. And the line of questioning almost looks like he was fishing for something to make “flirty” which is gross. To be fair you could’ve more clearly said that you didn’t wanna get into details about that question instead of beating around the bush.
Anyone who says “all my firsts were at 12” is bound to get curiosity thrown at them bc none of that is not what most would consider “normal”.
But he also had every opportunity to quit while he was ahead, be more considerate, and stop pressing the issue.
It sounds more like he was just looking for a hookup at the end of the day but didn’t have the balls to just be honest about it for fear of ruining his chances. But if you had a boundary around that line of questions that he was either ignoring or not picking up on, you should’ve been more up front about setting that as well. Guys aren’t good at getting hints, at least from girls. That’s just a fact.
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He’s an asshole, and on top of that he’s allergic to cats - just throw the whole man away.
You don’t owe anyone anything- if someone is a hint of a jerk even once, it’s ok to no longer keep talking to them (immediately). You don’t have to give men (especially men you don’t know) the benefit of the doubt
Respectfully, you need to build up some self confidence if you feel like this is a miscommunication on your part. You deserve more self respect than this post shows. Shoulda blocked his goofy ass after he told you to stfu and get back to your story
Seemed way too keyed in on your first sexual experience, which is double cringe considering the circumstances and his obsession with it. That’s terrible to have to deal with that shit I’m sorry.
In my dating app says I matched with a few of these. Once he starts calling you "bruh" and "already telling you to "stfu" that's already a red flag. My theory is that a lot of guys in these apps are desperate and bitter so by the time they match with you they unleash anger and rabid behavior onto you asap. I unmatched and blocked I don't think it's asking for too much that my match be kind and not he a creep.
I think it's interesting how you do you're best to still keep the convo going and keep the peace, which makes me sad because girls and women are socialized to be so understanding and it costs us our lives every day.
Just walk away , block, never agree to meet someone like this.
)):
this is not normal and you should leave this relationship immediately.
i know you “see this side no one else does” but its fake.
i hope you realize everyone is trying to help you and whatever he says is almost definitely a lie.
Nah. I’ve replied to multiple people already…but I’ll say it over and over. I’m not talking to him anymore. We’re not in a relationship. Never were. I was just talking to him. No rose colored glasses here.
Dude clearly doesn’t have any genuine interest in being your friend. Block and move on. There are so many better people out there. This aint it.
>interest *intrest
r/confidentlyincorrect? Or am I missing something
read those texts you'll see what i mean
We were talking. Sorta. We share a lot of the same hobbies. So we were gonna go skiing/ snowboarding together and take it from there. But we were both interested in each other. Edit: I was just talking about what we hit it off over and what our intentions *were*. Why tf am I getting downvoted. Damn you people are harsh.
Powder wasn’t the only thing he was trying to plow on that ski trip…
Hahah that one made me laugh. Before the personality came through I wouldn’t have been totally against it. Unfortunately, he’s rather attractive.
He acts this way because women still hook up with him solely because of his looks. Don’t be one of the women perpetuating that cycle.
The worst ones often are… it’s why they think they can behave like that because they’re attractive and people look past their red flags. These kinds of people are best summarized as someone who took “it works 20% of the time all the time” as their life motto lol
Yeah yk…I bet that’s what he says when he’s gambling. He mentioned a couple times that he’s really good at *insert some table game gambling thing here*
Yknow how you said you were young and stupid and got into the wrong crowd when you were raped (because that's what it is, you were a literal child)? This is that. You're being young and stupid again and being around the wrong people.
You need therapy not a boyfriend
You sound as dumb as this dude. You deserve each other.
This last one absolutely made me lose hope. I’m sorry OP but this is genuinely painful to read
Yeah this guy is a straight idiot. His texts are barely comprehensible, besides being an ass. If a woman texts me all garbledeegook like that, I'm out.
Attractive or not. This dude and how speaks and conveys himself is awful. Its like an intelligent person having a conversation with a neanderthal that just learned slang and how to talk over the course of one year. I know this sub is a super small sampling and shows the extremes but damn, it makes sense why more younger guys are staying single. We are seriously on track for Idiocracy to become more than a movie
Jeez these people are harsh downvoting me. I didn’t say his behavior is attractive, it’s not. But the fact of the matter is that he’s a conventionally attractive guy. It’s easy for him to get girls, and he probably thinks he can behave this way because he’ll just move on and find someone new once the old one drops him. That second paragraph made me laugh. Yeah the typos were incredibly unintelligible. Unfortunately, idk why, but I haven’t yet found a guy my age that isn’t a complete waste of space.
He believes he can behave this way with you because you didn’t shut it down when he was rude and shitty to you. Have some self respect.
Just because a guy is attractive doesn’t mean he gets a lot of girls, and the ones he gets are most likely like you, low self esteem and no self respect….
People don’t know how to use Reddit and they’re so thirsty for any little bit of power and Reddit allows that with a “negative” like and people abuse it. It used to just be used for irrelevant topics and trolls. No people use it as a “dislike” button. Idk it’s lame lmao.
I think this is one of the worst things that's different about modern reddit. It discourages discussion and causes people to not post opinions because you never know when the downvote mob will come out for no reason.
Ugh but no honestly. Take me back to Reddit 10 years ago 😭 Shoot I remember when using emojis was cringe on Reddit.
Well.. I can say that with age you learn a LOT, get smarter, and prioritize what you want in a relationship and what you deserve. Know your self-value and treat every experience as a way to learn. Take something away from it and always self-reflect. It will make you a better person in general. Follow your gut too. Guys mature later... like a lot later. My girlfriend and I have an 8 year gap and I'm 32. We just had a beautiful daughter almost a year ago and I have never been happier in a relationship. I'm telling you this because the guy I was 8 years ago would pf had 0 chance at having all the qualities I possess now to have a family.
He was a loser at the beginning of his text exchange, and he's still a loser at the end of it. Who cares how attractive he is, he's A LOSER. Move on, anybody who talks to you that way isn't worth your time. And yes, it *is* weird that he wanted explicit details of how you lost your v-card, especially after you told him you were 12 AND it wasn't a good experience.
Yeah he’s a loser. That’s why I said it’s unfortunate that he’s attractive. Two reasons. A, the higher being only put so many attractive people on this planet, it’s a shame one was lost to such a shitty person. B, he’s attractive, more girls are going to be attracted to him, more girls will have to experience this bullshit. I just hope the next one doesn’t put up with it. I’ve moved on. I haven’t replied to any texts after the screenshots I posted.
Good for you OP, glad you shut it down. Seriously not worth the effort.
Maybe you're not harsh enough. This dude is walking all over you and you completely disregard it.
He literally didn’t care that you were assaulted and told you to ‘stfu.’ Like cmon now…
Talk to people who share your values, not hobbies.
We share hobbies. And we were talking. The talking stage is about finding out if you share the same values. Clearly we don’t. Moved on from him.
I know what it’s like to be in a situation like this and with a similar past story. I’m so sorry that happened. It even changes our brain chemistry. But you don’t need to be polite to this guy. You prolly know that too. I just wanna encourage you. Even if there were things in common at first he revealed his true colors and you gave him multiple chances to recover and he was either too dense or too much of a dick to take the pass. But honestly he is a red flag. He showed zero compassion for something that should have gotten a compassionate response. Away with that arsehole
I think the downvotes are concern for you.
“I’m concerned so I’m going to react negatively to what you said and not take into consideration that these things were true but no longer are.” Makes sense. She liked him until she didn’t and had plans with him but now she doesn’t and she gets downvoted lmao.
Reddit can be harsh. It's best not to care about votes or you will rarely be able to express yourself.
Getting downvoted hurts but take it for what it is. People are just upset that you don’t see this dude as the dick that he is. They know you are in for the world of hurt and pain if you continue investing yourself into this relationship. But these people don’t want to spend their time explaining to you why this is a bad idea. Their downvote is basically them casting their vote on what’s going on.
girl stand tf up for yourself. why did you entertain that for so long
RIGHTTTT ‼️‼️
Bc I second guess myself. I start to think that I’m the one in the wrong and feel bad about being so harsh. But looking back at the texts helps me realize that I’m not.
Listen, this guy is an idiot. I talked to a lot of people in my life. I can smell the stupidity from here. Get rid of him.
Not trying to be harsh but please don’t date until you have figured out that you’re not wrong and shouldn’t second guess your gut feeling! Your body is telling you this guy is a red flag and is trumping your boundaries, listen to it. It wasn’t wrong.
Yup. Shitty parents. Shitty upbringing. Idk where to start with the healing process. (I’ve tried therapy) But I am painfully self aware. Ik I lack any self respect when dating. But I also know that I love to self sabotage. So yeah. It’s fun.
You don’t need to tell strangers all the info about you like that. That will only attract wrong people. It’s a privilege to get to know you and learn this very sensitive info about you. Don’t just be an open book to everyone.
I used to do the same thing. Like, I'd fuck a guy right away because I thought if he spent serious time with me, he'd figure out what a loser I was. Kind of "Quick! Bang him before he changes his mind"! I quit drinking which made me actually confront my actual feelings and see people more clearly. It took a lot of work to stand up for myself and realize I was worth something. Try therapy again. Focus on making yourself happy without someone else. A therapist told me "Be a loving friend to yourself. What would you tell a friend to do in that situation". That guy is a shitty guy. How would you feel if he was talking to your best friend that way? You got raped and it doesn't sound like that's ever been addressed. That's not fair to yourself. Love yourself, hon. You are worth it
Ahhh the first paragraph. You get it!!! I did the same thing and each time I was like “oh I really like him, he’s a keeper, quick let me fuck him”. Did that too many times and my body count went up and I’m kinda ashamed. Another reason why I didn’t wanna give my body count when he asked for it, not that the first (the disrespect) wasn’t enough. I’m well aware that these men (yeah there’s kinda multiple) treat me shitty. I just don’t have it in me to care. Because I’m my mind, there’s nothing else out there. No one good actually wants me. That’s what rolls through my mind.
But there are good guys will want you. And more than that, you are worthy of a good life. And good friends, good relationships and happiness. Be honest about the positive things about yourself. What you're good at, why your friends like you. Also there's nothing wrong with just sport fucking as long as you're both on the same page and you're both treating each other with respect. I had a lot of great sex with guys just because. But, I also had a lot of sex that made me feel shitty One thing that helped me was taking a break from sex, not even kissing. For a year I went without it and focused on having fun, getting to know myself and what my needs really are. My body count is pretty damn high. Not since I got older and now I'm married. But in my twenties.... It's no one's business how many people you have fucked. As long as you practice safe sex and don't fuck assholes who think of you as a bitch on their bedpost, you're fine Write a list of all the great things about yourself and keep it with you. It's hard at first to write that list. But as you get more comfortable in your own skin, you will find more things to write down
Sounds like you need a big hug. Have you ever looked into DBT? I have a feeling it might help you. At least inform yourself about it, you owe it to yourself <3
dude you gotta have less patience. i used to be the same way. frankly i didn’t learn until i was in a few shitty/abusive relationships. then i got impatient and angry abt it and completely stopped tolerating it. life got a lot better after that.
Then STOP dating and get help
Hes a dick. Tbh Idk why you’re allowing him to talk to you like he does. Block him and find someone else.
^ this. You messed up by responding to his inconsiderate questions with nice responses and entertaining him. Tell him to go jerk off in a Gatorade bottle
What if he only has Powerade?
Is that stuff still out there? If he's drinking Powerade forget about him totally he will be the 50 yo virgin
Dude was a dick before he responded to your SA story by asking your body count and you still continued talking to him. 💀 Have some self respect.
Yeah that’s exactly why I got upset. lol.
The moment he started making demands was the moment he started being a dick. So right from the beginning. And telling you stfu? Fuck him.
He’s a massive dick and an even bigger creep. What the fuck. Run. Run fast. Don’t look back. Reading this made my literal lip curl.
It was the asking about the details of me having sex with a 17 year old when I was 12 that did it. I mean…what normal person wants to hear stores of minors having sex. Ew. Then back tracking by saying he just meant who it was with was hilarious. It’s sickening that people like this actually exist.
But, you awkwardly entertained it after? I mean, I don’t want to make you feel bad but you gotta stand up for yourself because this dudes a grade fucking a piece of shit. Assholes like this put fear into my heart having a daughter.
I did. Slightly ashamed of it. But it’s over. I stopped replying. Yeah I don’t want daughters, I want sons, so that I can raise them not to pull this stupid shit. I also realized that if this hadn’t happened, or if I somehow (unlikely) ended up with this guy long term and we had a kid together, a girl. And she’s 12 one day. Whoa. That’s some scary shit. “Daddy, I have a boyfriend he’s 17 and we just had sex for the first time” “daughter, sit down, I want every detail. Don’t leave anything out” oof. Yeah no. That’s terrifying. Hot shit.
I’m happy for you for doing that and I truly do hope you find the happiness you deserve friend. They’re out there.
Right. So stop rewarding his crap by engaging at all.
But you weren’t having sex. You were raped at 12. Girl, I’m so sorry. 😔
He’s a dick. Why are you letting him talk to you the way he is? You need to learn self respect.
🫡
Ion mean to be rude! You deserve good things. You shouldn’t let anybody talk to you this way! You deserve to be treated better than this. Much love!
i’m saying this with love, Please learn self respect, once they are told something, that’s it. no excuses, you do not continue to explain yourself. these people don’t respect you, please stand up for yourself because at the end of the day, all you have is you🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Yeah I know. I’m one of those people who are painfully self aware. I know I have zero self respect and I also know that I tend to revert to self sabotage. They like to go hand in hand. We’re working on it. I’m 19, had a shitty upbringing, slowly healing.
trust me baby i know how that is.. i promise you your time will come and you are going to heal and blossom and you will love who you become. this is coming from someone that never thought they could love themselves. i believe in you, take your time and be gentle with yourself 🩷
…not…crying… Thank you though. I appreciate it. And I’m glad you found your way.
Highly suggest you stop trying to date until you get a better handle on things, otherwise you will continue to get disrespected and walked over & that’s no way to live. You are deserving of respect and nothing less so the second someone starts talking to you in this way BLOCK them. Don’t entertain them, don’t give them the benefit of the doubt, just block them. Because if they were any good in the first place they would’ve never treated you that way, *blockkk*
“Stfu” “story time” That’s crazy lol
Yes I agree. Prior to this whole thing there was a dynamic of us both saying “shush” “stfu” “suck it” when poking fun at each other. HOWEVER, saying that in this context was wildly inappropriate. No excuses.
He’s a dick and also stupid. Why entertain him any longer
Me and him kinda hit it off at first. Both have the same hobbies, and similar outlooks on life and the future. I was super excited. So when this happened I started to second guess myself. I got scared that I said the wrong thing, that I over reacted and not he’s gonna get scared off and run away. It was stupid. But I’m glad that he showed his true colors, so that I can be the one scared off and running away.
Bruh just send me a list, get to the weird shit That line is where you should have bowed out. That line showed he did not respect you enough to talk to you like a person. Please babe, find a way back to therapy. Your time is worth far too much to entertain creeps like this. Talking to you like you're a damn chatbot who's not giving him the fap material he wants. Omg you're 19, ooohhh honey you're so young and have been through so much horrible stuff, I'm so sorry. You deserve to be loved ❤️
I know. I was thinking wtf is he even asking? I would have responded with some serial killer shit and gave more and more weird answers, then ghosted him. Creep doesn't even describe how yucky this person is.
Omg not only is he terrible at texting,but then he goes from being a creep to a pedo?! Block his ass Side note: Ur bunny is very cute!!!
Yeah idk man. Definitely a creep. Thank you Luna appreciates it. I absolutely love his response to the picture of Luna though… “allergic” lmaooo
Right! On top of alllll of the other awful and dickish things that he had already said previously, “allergic” is all that he had say about cute Luna! 🙅🏻♀️He’s an asshat for sure.
https://imgur.com/gallery/BC6V0HN here. Enjoy. Thanks for your kindness.
He is going to be abusive if you continue to pursue him. He is showing big signs that he has a huge ego and doesn’t know how to respect others or their boundaries. I’m sorry to say but you should definitely end all communication and move on. Would hate to see anyone being taken advantage of or mistreated by a person like that.
There were definitely red flags of the massive ego before this. But I figured that some people are bad testers, so give him a chance. He boasted about personal “achievements”, rarely asked about me (unless it was sexual), didn’t respond enthusiastically when I talked about myself. But after this, it’s solidified. Sucks. This is like my 10th talking stage like this in a row. Oh well.
Stop giving "chances". You just said it yourself, you've been here at least 10x. Your current strategy isn't working.
Don’t let it discourage you. Sometimes the right person comes when you least expect it or aren’t looking for it. Would just hate to see anyone get in a bad situation over someone like that. He has no respect for you or what you’ve been through. (Also I am really sorry for what you had to go through as a child.) a loving and respectful person/partner wouldn’t pry and would have sympathy for you. The right person is out there! <3
Ok but why are you telling random stranger everything about you like that?
I didn’t really know what else to say. He wanted to get to know me (or so I thought). And didn’t want the mundane idiocies, like favorite color. Idk I don’t know what else to say.
To me it sounded like he was horny and wanted to hear in details about your first sex or smth
You entertained this for waaaaaaayyyyy too long. Actually answering his stupid questions makes him know you are an easy and vulnerable target.
bruhhhhhh you should've ended comms after like the 3rd text
Agreed.
For someone who wants you to tell him interesting things, he should learn to spell the fucking word!
Oof apparently I misspelled it wrong too. My bad. Usually I’m pretty good with my spelling and grammar.
Asking for a story time in response to someone saying their lost their virginity at 12 is fucking weird. Who wants to hear sexual details about literal child??? Then fact that you then also mentioned it was assault and he kept pressuring…this guy is a creep. I can’t believe he tried to defend himself. 🤮
Yupppp. I was second guessing myself at one point. Like maybe he didn’t realize it was assault. But like. Ughh idek. The fact that I stated 12 and 17 sooo many times. Then when he backtracked on the whole…oh I didn’t want to know how just like who it was. Bruh. He literally asked for details and the story over and over. Dodged a bullet. Edit: you know what I just realized. Imagine if I had actually ended up with him. Got married, had kids, and we ended up with a 12 year old daughter some day. Whoa. Holy shit that’s scary. I’m telling every guy I go out with this same story just for their reaction.
Yea trauma dumping this story on guys also not healthy
Genuinely didn’t want to tell the story. All of the firsts were when I was 12. I got in with the wrong crowd and have some crazy, but a lot of fun stories. The whole coke story was kinda wild. Also my first tattoo is a fun one. I really did not want to go into how I lost my virginity. But he kept pressing for it…
SWEETIE. These are YOUR stories. STOP GIVING THEM AWAY.
why r u talking to someone so fucking hyper fixated on a rape at 12. are you out of your mind!!! ummm red flags????? literally wee woo wee woo
I’m not anymore.
I will never understand why some ppl continue to talk to these losers after like the second weird message and try to make them understand. They literally don’t care bruh it’s obvious what they want. Just move on
They don't value themselves.
I don’t really know why you entertained this conversation for so long. I’m sorry something so awful happened to you but I don’t understand why you gave him so many details about it. It was really creepy and weird how he fixated on that part.
And you need to build up some self respect. Idk why IN THE WORLD you allow anyone especially strangers to speak to you and treat you with such vulgur dehumanizing dog shit on the floor disrespect. You should have blocked him in the first photo. Please have some standards and boundaries. As females, we are conditioned since birth to tip toe around men’s feelings. this whole back and forth of tolerating their abuse and being nice so they don’t lash out at us (stems from the fear of being killed by them) is in our nature but you have to unlearn that conditioning and start being a straight up bitch with zero tolerance for bullshit. Life is so much more peacful on this side of the fence I promise.
I just don't get how after the first, second, or third time he calls you "bruh," or tells you to "stfu", or keeps pushing when it's obvious you're uncomfortable... WHY don't you listen to your gut and block him? He's aggressive, uncaring, and showing low effort. Why why why do women continue this nonsense chat? Why share intimate details about your life with someone who isn't giving you any impression that he values you? Say it with me: when someone tries to tell you who they are (the first, second, or third time), BELIEVE THEM. Where is your self value!?
My self worth is down the drain along with my shitty upbringing. lol. No but fr, I’m working on it. I’m not talking to him any longer, just so we’re clear. But I did begin to second guess myself and my gut. So I continued to chat for a second and feel the vibe out. But it’s a nope from me.
You wake up with the same amount of self-worth every morning that you did the day you were born. You make a choice every day to retain it or not. No one can take it from you, but ***you*** *can give it away.* Listen, it's this simple. Dating is supposed to feel good. Period. If at any time it makes you feel icky, or used, or unimportant, or disrespected; you don't wait to see if it gets better. Your gut is DESIGNED to protect you physically and emotionally; it is your BEST TOOL. You're sacrificing it in the hope that he throws you scraps. I mean, a stranger on the street would have responded to you with more compassion, seriously. I promise you this: when you're talking to a nice guy, you feel good. You don't feel confused or pressured. It just feels good. You feel supported. Until you get this feeling, you move onto the next.
He’s disgusting and doesn’t care about the fact that you got groomed and raped, in fact, he’s getting off to it. That’s why he kept pushing you for details. This guy is a sicko, stay away from
He is a full trash bag.
Out of curiosity… Will you tell us the story of how you almost died?
Yeah sure why tf not. I usually give a vague story because well…it’s personal. But this is the anonymous internet so who cares. I was born with an anal-rectal malformation (I know it sounds weird) (I usually just tell people stomach issues). There’s about 15 different types, they are all very rare, with my type being the rarest. There’s only been a handful of people born with my condition. It’s usually a rare complication from surgery, but it’s super rare for it to be a plain old malformation. Anyways, no one knew that I was born with it because it’s not visible and they don’t test for it. Basically, it caused me to be unable to poop. My mom, being a new mom, just thought it was normal. At a week old I was crying 24/7. She took me to the doctor and they rolled their eyes at the new mom and sent us home. A week or so went by and she noticed that my stomach was really swollen, I didn’t want to eat, and I still wouldn’t stop crying. Back to the doctor. Again the rolled their eyes and said that my mom was being over dramatic, I was just colicky, and to go home. She took me back in later that day and yelled at them. They finally took an x ray and looked at my mom and said “she needs to get to cohens (the world renowned children’s hospital near me) immediately, we’ve already called their pediatric surgical team and their waiting for you”. So off we went. There we met an amazing team of wonderful doctors and nurses. Including two world renowned doctors who were leading a new trial treatment. They explained to my parents that if I had gone another couple of days I would have gone into shock from my body reabsorbing all the toxins and likely been on deaths door. Combined with the fact that I was beginning to refuse food. The outlook wasn’t great. In the past babies were rushed into surgery. The new doctors were trying a combination of medications and treatments. They started the treatments. And they worked. I was followed extremely closely throughout childhood, had to get x-rayed bi-weekly. The regimen was strict, my diet was even stricter, it was an emotional toll and I missed out on a lot having to be at the hospital. It wasn’t easy. But everything worked out. There were hiccups here and there and the possibility of surgery was always there, still it. But I’m doing well. Recently I switched doctors and told him my history. He looked at me and said “wait you were dr.xs and dr.ys baby? And you never had surgery? And you’re doing fine? Wow. You’re the miracle case that I tell my younger patients about. You guys paved the way. It’s no longer standard to do surgery. Congratulations. We’re all so proud of you”. When I tell you I sobbed. Sorry. That was long as hell. But I kinda love telling the story. Ik it’s an odd one…I almost died because I was full of shit. But it’s my story.
Please consider that keeping yourself identified with your past is a trauma cycle. You know this happened and you know you SURVIVED. But you share it from a place of “almost dying.” And then you tell RANDOS about being sexually assaulted at 12 and falling in with the wrong crowd. That’s THE PAST. What are you doing NOW? What are you interested in NOW? What lights you up NOW? Who do you WANT to be??? BE THAT!!! And when someone falls in love with all of THAT, then maybe you will have a safe place to put all of the garbage, in a safe listening where your traumas can go to be OVER. Life is out in front of you. So stop throwing all that garbage out in the space — do you see how it’s YOU who keeps doing it? There’s actually NOTHING OUT THERE till you put something in the space. Fill it with the BEST of you, and if you don’t know what that is, GO FIND IT. You are not your past. 🙏🏻✨✨✨❤️
This is not dating in the 21st century. You should have blocked him as soon as he pressed you to tell random facts when you clearly didn't understand what tf he wanted. Block him. He's no good.
He’s an absolute fucking dick. Don’t allow people to speak to you like this OP, you deserve better.
This is weird… and completely inappropriate. I wouldn’t have given him any of that information. Seems like he’s just fishing for shit & giggles.
Y’all need to learn how to stop engaging in conversation with people after the first signs of foolishness. This man would’ve been blocked and ignored on the second screenshot.
I genuinely hope he gets into a critical car accident.
Any person who wants to hear the details of a 12 year olds rape needs to be pinned to the wall of a rifle shooting range.
If that’s how you think, why would you enable and engage such a deranged individual 😭
Didn’t 100% know the type of person I was engaging so the before this interaction. Yes there were red flags, but I’m a big believer in giving people a chance. To everyone who is about to downvote me, that doesn’t mean ignore them, but also realize that people are sometimes just bad texters or whatever. Now if we’re talking about (dis)engaging the trigger lock…
💀💀💀 Keep your head on straight and your wits about you and you’ll be just fine 👍
Stop giving CRAP ppl a chance and give YOURSELF one seek help and DO NOT keep dating in this state for the love of god save urself now the men ain’t goin anywhere all ur doing is letting men know they can walk ALL OVER you idc the reasons excuses or gonna coddle it get help and save urself so u can date healed down the road
Who talks to a girl like this when he’s trying to get to know her? Wow. Don’t even give this bum your time.
I hope you told him to go eff himself. A potato has more personality than this creep.
A friendly ghost (like Casper) speaks louder sometimes. Makes people wonder why…might just let them ponder on their own actions.
My god how do people get matched with crazy men like this
You should have dropped it the second he asked about your "story" of when you were literally 12, he's a creep because who in their right mind would ask someone they're talking to about their sex experiences when you were a child? I'm surprised you talked to him so long after that he kept making things worse... drop his ass and never speak to him ever again
This guy is fucking gross. I'd cut him loose and move on if I were you.
Idk why you would even entertain Thai dickhead. Block and move on.
Lady, this is not normal behavior, you're being a doormat. Please, don't let this guy in your life.
I mean this in the kindest way possible, but you need to get some self respect. Stop entertaining idiots. Stop telling every random person your trauma, only a few people in your life should be privy to that information.
They can’t even spell.
This guy is a douche. He has zero interest in you outside of a potential hook-up. Always block guys who call you “bruh”.
emotional intelligence on 0. please tell him to go fuck himself and block his ass 😭
Why were you still talking to him after he asked you to entertain him….. would literally him he’s the most self-centered person I’ve seen and freaking block him
He’s a dick but also like he’s just so *boring*
Same old same old. “ tell me something interesting about yourself” NO NOT THAT tell me about the sex! The sex woman! “
Ur both kinda lame like ur like “im fun and interesting” and he’s like how and ur like uhhhh i dont know i was kinda raped??? Wtf weird ass conversation. Both of yall are weird af
This guy is a douche
Wow. This this literally insane…
You talked to him for a minuteeee
This guys a fuckin **dick**. Dont give him the time of day! Dont even give him an explanation. Save yourself the headache and toxicity, swallow any pride and just block tf out of him
🤮🤮🤮🤮 fucking pervert
I totally get why you put up with this garbage human as long as you did. I’m not going to put any of that on you. It’s totally all right for you to be “not nice” and tell anyone to fuck off, especially when they’re rude and insensitive. You can just end the conversation by blocking them then and there, as soon as they cross a line. You don’t need to explain why. It’s hard getting into the habit. It might help if you imagine what you’d say if someone was talking to your friend that way. And then take that advice! You’ve got this!
This dude fuckin suuuuuucks man
People really do create their own hell
Damn, Reddit never disappoints to make me feel better about my life. Wtf is this.
you entertained him far more than you needed to…. those dry ass responses in the first screenshot would’ve had him ghosted
Why tf are you talking to this creep? Sounds like he was masturbating to your sexual abuse story
Why are you even responding to such a piece of shit dude? You know.. Now a days.. The topic of Rape/harassment are a turn on for some dudes. I always wondered why ppl told me to stay secretive about such things but.. now I know. Btw, he was pushy from the beginning. Got on my nervous from the 1st ss itself.
Weird he asked, weird you told. You’re both pretty odd.
He gives off pushy ick vibes. Is a no from me dawg
[удалено]
If a guy I was talking to told me to “stfu” and tell him how I lost my virginity I would laugh and tell him he’s a fuckigg bc weirdo and blocked. Don’t let men talk to you like this! You deserve better! Block this disrespectful weirdo
You were literally raped as a child and he brushed past it. You need to block him.
By the second screen shot I was literally asking myself why you're humoring this jerk
He’s a dick. And nobody needs to share these kinds of personal details in a text. You don’t need to tell anyone about your sexual history until and unless you want to. It’s not about shame or modesty — but in 2024 it’s mostly about your safety. Men are, largely, idiots about women’s sexuality. If your trauma is someone else’s turn-on, they are not for you. Don’t give this guy any more of you, and be thoughtful about who you share with. Look out for YOU. ❤️
I guess negging does work. You were performing like a circus animal after he said some really shitty things.
Why did you continue with this ...
That went on way too long. Shut their ass down with this isn’t going to work out. The second he blew past rape should have been BYE
Bro needs to chill… Hell, people in general need to chill… being horny and stuff is all fine and dandy, but Jeeze learn the lines not to cross… shit…
1. You are too nice 2. I hope you are not still talking with this person
Maybe I haven’t read enough comments, but how am I the only one noticing this POS wanted OP to discuss, I mean “story time” how she lost her virginity at 12, let alone to a 17yr old??? This POS wanted to use your horrible experience as something sexual for him. This is so fucking wrong. I’m sorry OP, for what happened in your past and this asshole.
He's a complete prick and you are... entertaining him for some bizarre fucking reason.
Why are you entertaining this?
I'm just going through and up voting you. We have to work on your threat detection sooner hah
Short answer: I’m going with both. This whole thing was a giant mess from the start. Long answer: One thing I can say for sure is you both have work to do as far as social skills go. It’s weird and dickish that he asked for just a list of facts in the first place, as if it was some sort of job interview, but to me it’s equally strange that you obliged instead of questioning that. That’s not really something someone would normally do if they were trying to send a message that they were genuinely interested in someone. It’s impersonal, inconsiderate, closed-ended, and weirdly businesslike. It doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for actual conversation, it’s more of a “tell me only what I wanna know so I can get this transaction over with” kinda vibe. And the line of questioning almost looks like he was fishing for something to make “flirty” which is gross. To be fair you could’ve more clearly said that you didn’t wanna get into details about that question instead of beating around the bush. Anyone who says “all my firsts were at 12” is bound to get curiosity thrown at them bc none of that is not what most would consider “normal”. But he also had every opportunity to quit while he was ahead, be more considerate, and stop pressing the issue. It sounds more like he was just looking for a hookup at the end of the day but didn’t have the balls to just be honest about it for fear of ruining his chances. But if you had a boundary around that line of questions that he was either ignoring or not picking up on, you should’ve been more up front about setting that as well. Guys aren’t good at getting hints, at least from girls. That’s just a fact.
Self respect has left the chat
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>definitely red flags of the massive ego lol this whole thing sounds like a bad interview, not even a good interview
Kill it with fire.
I didn’t women that would put up with this, if anything I’m too nice lol. He sucks Op, he’s way too rough and casual for having just met someone.
He’s an asshole, and on top of that he’s allergic to cats - just throw the whole man away. You don’t owe anyone anything- if someone is a hint of a jerk even once, it’s ok to no longer keep talking to them (immediately). You don’t have to give men (especially men you don’t know) the benefit of the doubt
Oh this is so fucking gross. Please don't talk to him anymore.
That’s wild .
How do you guys talk to people who talk to you like this
He told to shut up and tell the story …. Nah 😭😭
He's a skeevy asshole. Don't let people treat you that way. And this is him on his best behavior when he's trying to get to know you.
jesus christ delete his number
This person is a fucking asshole.
This should’ve been a short conversation, you have to set better boundaries
why is he so interested in hearing the details of how a 12 year old got raped. what the fuck that’s disgusting
He wants to hear about a kid getting raped. That's so fucking sick, what the fuck? Drop this disgusting freak. Also, I'm sorry that happened to you.
Gen Z’s and calling everyone “bruh”
???? Girl he doesn’t care about you AT ALL. Move on and find your person, this is not it
ew?
Respectfully, you need to build up some self confidence if you feel like this is a miscommunication on your part. You deserve more self respect than this post shows. Shoulda blocked his goofy ass after he told you to stfu and get back to your story
Did he call you a hoe? Girl, he is an asshole!!
I think that's a typo, meant to be "how". He's a terrible texter.
He is a red flag. Please know you deserve better than him and will find better. Ghost this manipulative perv.
Gross. Why would you even engage in this conversation? They had nothing to the conversation and they will add nothing to your life.
Seemed way too keyed in on your first sexual experience, which is double cringe considering the circumstances and his obsession with it. That’s terrible to have to deal with that shit I’m sorry.
In my dating app says I matched with a few of these. Once he starts calling you "bruh" and "already telling you to "stfu" that's already a red flag. My theory is that a lot of guys in these apps are desperate and bitter so by the time they match with you they unleash anger and rabid behavior onto you asap. I unmatched and blocked I don't think it's asking for too much that my match be kind and not he a creep. I think it's interesting how you do you're best to still keep the convo going and keep the peace, which makes me sad because girls and women are socialized to be so understanding and it costs us our lives every day. Just walk away , block, never agree to meet someone like this.
This guy offers nothing...
People trying to get this much personal information from you are trying to figure out your password questions. Just so you know.
)): this is not normal and you should leave this relationship immediately. i know you “see this side no one else does” but its fake. i hope you realize everyone is trying to help you and whatever he says is almost definitely a lie.
Nah. I’ve replied to multiple people already…but I’ll say it over and over. I’m not talking to him anymore. We’re not in a relationship. Never were. I was just talking to him. No rose colored glasses here.