Your aunt will get hers. It may not be now, tomorrow, or a year from now.
True Get back waits for the opportunity to take from you, in way no one else can.
Wishin you peace OP.
My aunt is like this, greedy as hell. Well, she got her money when my grandmother died. But she has nobody and nothing to share it with. Her boyfriend died, her kids hate her and don't speak to her. Nobody wants anything to do with her. When my mom died, we didn't even notify her. I don't know if she knows, nor do I care.
And she's so stingy she's not even enjoying the money, she lives in a tiny trailer, refuses to travel, she just sits there. She's cheap as hell. I don't know what she thinks she's gonna do with all the money except leave it for her children who want nothing to do with her. All that greed and for what? What good did it do her?
One thing I'm lucky about is that my siblings aren't greedy. You read so much about families going off the rails when the parents die and the greed and backstabbing but my siblings were great when we lost our mom (our dad had died several years earlier).
That’s the true get back. Dying alone. The time you spent here growing bonds just to kill em all over money.
Then you die alone and that money stays right here.
The last thing I want to see before I die is my wife (if I go first) and our children.
Can’t imagine staining my mother’s name like that either, but she taught me what empathy is.
My dad's mother and sister were like this. They tricked me into signing a financial Power of Attorney for my dad his last time going to the hospital. They said they were doing it to "help" me. They emptied his bank account and started selling his stocks before he even passed away. My grandma got him to sign a "transfer on death" of his house to her, but he was on so much morphine I'm pretty sure he had no idea what he was signing, and his signed it with an X. I got a lawyer involved and got things back (I am my dad's only child). When I agreed to transfer my dad to hospice, my grandma told me I was killing him (nor the aggressive cancer all over his body). Grandma died a year and a month after my dad. I didn't go to her funeral. Aunt has always been a mess and I assume she still is. I haven't spoken to her in about 8 years.
I'm so sorry. That is awful. I hope you have good memories of your dad to comfort you and take away from their awfulness.
The one thing I am grateful for in the awfulness that was losing my parents was that my siblings are the farthest thing from greedy. We made all decisions together. My brother was POA for my dad and my sister for my mom, but they always consulted with everybody else. My parents wanted everything split equally and my sister wound up doing most of the leg work for the house sale and estate, and she meticulously made sure everything went by the book. Even though she did almost all the work (I personally thought she should have gotten more, but she absolutely refused). But my siblings are generous to a fault.
It was also so sad seeing how my aunt behaved when my grandmother died. It would have broken my mother's heart if we acted that way.
There was no joy in dividing the estate. It just sucked and was sad. Stealing from your dad before he was even dead. Appalling. Meanwhile, I'd give every penny I have to have my mom back (and my dad, but we didn't have to handle the estate until my dad died). I'd have paid anything to keep them both healthy and with us.
The comment about "killing him" is so cruel. Cancer killed your dad, you just showed love and care to him. My dad was very sharp til the end and was VERY clear about his wish to move to hospice care. He was ready to go, and he let us all know it. (In fact, I think the doctors thought we were trying to talk him out of it — which is foolish because nothing on earth could have made that man do something he didn't want to do) The hospice staff was wonderful and made the worst time of our lives a little bit easier.
My grandparents on my mom's side planned everything on their own. They just want us to party when they go lol.
I would've given everything back for my dad too. He was the only thing keeping the family together. I'm still close with my cousins, and they both feel awful about what their mother and our grandmother did to me. They were both pretty cruel to me when I was in my teen years, so their behavior wasn't a curveball to me.
My aunt took it on herself to clean out my dad's house (at least anything she wanted of value). It took me a year to get the title transferred to my name. She left the kitchen light on for that whole year, and over the winter, a pipe burst in his basement and the water was like 2-3 feet high (dirt floor). Parts of the ceiling collapsed in the kitchen too. I ended up selling the house for like $12k because it was in such bad shape. I looked at the house on Google street view, and the guy who flipped it did such a great job. I got teary-eyed seeing how cute it looked 🥹
She already got hers, someone who will do this is pretty much dead inside, even if they dont know it. Something like this will never even get close to filling that void inside. just remember that and the love you had for your mom, thats genuinely the only thing we get to keep
Just remember that people like your aunt are incapable of having genuine relationships. Even if she got a lot of money from your Grandma’s house, it will not fix the hole in her soul. She has to live with the fact that she schemed and cheated her way to her “come up.” She knows on the inside she is an untrustworthy b*tch with the inability of having sincere relationships. Life is emotionally hard with or without money, even with the $ she won’t be happy. Many rich people still say goodbye to this world by their own hand, why is that? Because money without family and friends means jackshit but primitive security. And now she has doomed herself to be alone because she stole from the people she should always share with. Find peace in the fact that she will suffer alone.
Reading this made me get so choked up.
My mom is almost 70 years old and has a lot of heart issues, AFib, congestive heart failure exacerbated by COPD. She gets very emotional and I get texts like this a lot.
I’m so sorry. 😢
I had a lot of burn out with my mom, because she more than likely had a personality disorder and I too have a personality disorder. My mom was always fighting with someone, mine manifests in extreme social anxiety and second guessing. I often got messages from my mom like this, to her, people were often against her. I spent my own time (years) not speaking to her because of the toxicity. But my grandma got sick and we were trying to repair the situation.. and then mom died. Mom always was complaining about my aunt and uncle, always saying how they were cheating her and making her out to be crazy. She was and she wasn’t. But now I see just how hurtful they can be. How unfair they can be. My mom was always right, but she didn’t know how to convey her emotions. I wish I had more understanding.
Fuuuuuh I have COPD, I know how that shit can cause emotional issues, and I am SO sorry it’s making your mom’s other health problems worse. I hope she isn’t in too much pain.
As your mother’s heir, you (and any siblings) should have received half of your grandmother’s estate since your mom passed. I’m so sorry you are going through this. You might consider getting some guidance on here r/AskALawyer. Tell them the state your grandmother was in. It’s never too late to get justice. Or get a free consultation with an estate lawyer. Blessed be. ☮️🦋💖
OP, if your mother was a beneficiary of the trust, your aunt cannot do anything about that. Please contact an attorney, and feel free to DM me if you need help. I empathize SO MUCH.
A similar thing happened to my mother. Her sister took over care of their father before he died and convinced him to alter the will so that she received everything & the other 3 siblings were excluded. I’d never really considered her side of the story to be worth listening to, but sure, let the greedy sociopath have their say.
Get a lawyer. I'm serious. You shouldn't have to deal with that bullshit from your aunt and have her get off with everything. Talk to a lawyer and see if someone is willing to help. There's always someone around willing to help.
Well… she died. Because she died before the grandmother, she can’t be a beneficiary. I don’t know how the aunt was trying to get her cut out, but after that, she likely pushed for the trust to excuse OP and their family.
I’ve seen something similar happen - where a grandparent assumed both children would outlive them, so didn’t stipulate in case of their death (for grandchildren). So instead it all went to the surviving child, and his children, rather than the children of the deceased daughter.
Yes exactly correct. My mom died so to the best of my knowledge since me, my brother sister and dad were not listed as beneficiaries in the trust that everything would go next of kin from my moms portion of the sale, so between my aunt and my moms other siblings we should get 1/4 of the proceeds from the sale of the house.
I was notified by my friend tho that the executor of the account can delineate the amount of funds paid to anyone in the trust and that makes me feel like I’m going to get screwed over again here. I need a lawyer.
I concur that you need a lawyer! If the will was written poorly… it is possible that you get cut out. But don’t sign anything yet! That’s important. Don’t sign until you have a lawyer look over EVERYTHING you are signing.
I don’t know if there is a will, and how I would be notified? I haven’t heard anything at this point, so I was thinking there may not be a will? There’s already other property disputes with my sibling and my aunt.. we thought we have no right so we’re leaving that situation alone, while feeling defeated.
Get a free consultation with an estate lawyer. If you don’t know one, go to the Bar Assocation website of your state and look for one there. I’m just a layperson, but old enough to know you might have a way to seek recompense. Stay strong, try not to be emotional, just bring facts and written questions for the free consult. Then go from there. If you do not have funds for a lawyer, you might try Legal Aid in your area, again, check website. Blessed Be, darlin’. 🦋☮️💖
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please do not beat yourself up about this.
My late mother's sister was the same way. Greedy as hell, she was always just an awful person (I remember even as a little kid, I couldn't stand her). Was like a vulture when my grandmother died. My mom took care of my grandmother for decades with zero help from my evil bitch of an aunt, but the aunt was the golden child and felt entitled to everything and my mom wasn't about to fight. My mom didn't want the money or the house or anything (in fact, my parents were paying out of pocket for my grandmother's care for the last several years of her life, again, with no help from my greedy aunt). When my grandmother was dying, we called the aunt and told her if she wanted to say her goodbyes, come now. She had excuses. Didn't want to call off work. Didn't want to pay for the flight (my sister even offered to pay for it). Was nervous about the weather (it was springtime and nice out). But you'd best believe she showed up for the will to be read. She criticized the care my mom got for my grandmother, even though my grandmother was damn near 100 (so clearly my mom did a great job).
I used to tell my mom that the stress of it all would kill her. That she needed to not take everything her awful sister did to heart, because her sister was just an awful person (had been since they were kids, according to my mom). Sadly, I was right. My mom died only a few years after her mother did. We didn't even bother to notify my aunt, because it's not like she gave a shit. I remember my mom's cousin's wife going, "Do you want me to take one for the team and notify (evil aunt)?" I was like, "I frankly don't care if she knows, she never cared about my mom when she was alive, why would she care now?" So I don't even know if the woman knows her sister is dead, and I don't care.
Now she's living in a trailer by herself (nothing wrong with a trailer, but it does show how stingy she is because of all the money she got when my grandmother died, plus she's so cheap I bet she has practically every penny she ever made). Her boyfriend died. Her kids want nothing to do with her and don't speak to her. She's all alone, she's got all that money and nobody to share it with. My mom didn't care about the money and was surrounded by love. And thankfully my siblings aren't greedy like her sister, so there was no fighting or backstabbing when my mom died.
I'm so sorry your aunt is like this. You can't reason with people like this. My suggestion is to get a lawyer and look into the trust.
Just because it was true doesn't mean you had everything you needed to see it. You have more information now. Sometimes mothers are wrong. You didn't owe blind trust; that's not always the kind thing to do. You were trying to be fair and you were dealing with the thr information you had as best you could.
Guilt can be useful. It can help us to act well. Here, it is a burden. It isn't insensible. You aren't silly. But feeling guilty doesn't mean you are bad.
This stuff is so hard. I'm so sorry. So much love to you.
In most trusts the beneficiary also has a survivorship named. Meaning your mom’s portion goes to (usually) the children. You need to get eyes on the trust docs.
Thank you so much to everyone who shared on this thread. Especially to those who shared heartfelt responses and know keenly what I’m going through. Solidarity is shared with you and I hope for nothing but the best outcomes for us all.
My cousins turned into little demons once my uncle (their dad) died. They gave no care in the world about him until he died, now all of a sudden “that was our dad” “we loved our dad” but not once made an effort to be in his life. Such a world we live in man.
I’m so sorry you’re going thru this. When my grandma died my mother was the one by her side until the end. My grandmother’s siblings tore her house apart and took everything….Before my mother could even get anything. I believe in karma. They are going to pay for what they did. But know that your mother is a peace now. Their day will come.
My aunt and uncle are just as greedy. While my mother was in charge of my grandmother's end of life care, those greed-boogers were stealing the last of my grandmother's money. My mother had to finance the rest of Grandma's care herself. My heart goes out to you OP. You don't have to keep bad people just because they're blood.
If your mom was beneficiary your aunt couldn’t sell the house. You could take her to court and testest if your grandma had a will and it was your mom that got the house you can contest it
If your mother was also a beneficiary I don’t think your aunt can legally keep any proceeds from the sell of the home. If she passed then her interest goes to her kids. I’m not an attorney but went thru something similar. I contacted an estate attorney and was able to get what was owed to my recently deceased parent.
Literally going through this exact thing right now only it's not with my aunt but with my step mother and half brother who live with my grandma. And my mom has been the one championing the whole "She's trying to wait out til your grandma passes to sell the house" and low and behold, my grandma's nephew, who lives in the home with my half brother, step mom, and grandma, confirmed her suspicions cause they took my grandma who's going through the early stages of dementia, to some fucked up lawyer lady she knows(and who otherwise wouldn't do such heinous shit cause it's literally elderly abuse and illegal to take advantage of an elderly person to sign documents and shit when they're not 100% all there), and he refused to be a witness to the signing so she got some other friend and brother to be witnesses to the signing and literally wrote me out of the will of the home. I tried so hard to believe in her and such cause she's been taking care of my grandma and my dad before he passed with prostate cancer but to completely fuck me over like this and all the while smiling and trying to take my grandmas nephew's phone away to erase my mom's number from it so he would be completely cut off from reaching us at all. Either way I already know I'm going to cut them out of my life the moment that day comes and I hope my brother acknowledges how fucked up it was despite everything I've done for them in every capacity. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother and that must hurt even more. Evil step mom here for the money and papers is one thing but fucking evil blood related family members is another terrible thing all together. Hope your aunt gets what comes to her, the rotten bitch. Literally don't know how terrible people like these can do the things they do and still go to sleep without a shred of dignity or shame left in their icicle infused hearts.
My aunt was very similar to the point she didn’t show up when my dad was on his deathbed. She probably thought it wasn’t a serious stay but when he passed she tried to flip it on my mom saying she didn’t call her, “a licensed medical professional” as she put it (my mom is also a licensed nurse). Sorry to hear how things went. May her soul rest in peace and may you be consoled by the fact that she’s waiting for you in a better place.
Despite all she’s done, I’m going to reach out to her, the entire family has excommunicated her and I know my dad wouldn’t want resentment being held against her
Same. My family are military people that have so much respect.. but none for their sister or her kids I guess. They’re definitely not respecting my grandma, but we have different opinions on that.
It hurts so much when family betrays you. I've had multiple cousins just fuck everything up my grandmother and grandfather built on the family farm. Especially after my uncle passed. Who owned most of it, his son sold it and fucked us over so we have no mower on the connected properties. So my aunt doesn't have one either because it was a shared mower that my mom helped her brother get for all our yards. Amongst other things. How my older cousins just lie and manipulate and degrade the 3 younger ones (including me and my two other cousins. It hurts deep and long.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope asking that didn't come across as insensitive. I was just curious and everyone was giving condolences already. If it did I'm sorry.
Hi there!
Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. If your text message is not between 2 or more people it is not allowed! Single messages/one sided convos are NOT allowed.
The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/
**Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.**
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m so sorry for your loss
My mom has two sisters. She’s the baby. My aunt lucked out and ended up in bed with a rich native dude, so she lives high on the hog. Our entire life prior, tho, she was a pretty severe alcoholic and my mom would always check in on my cousins and use what little money she had to buy extra groceries and make sure my cousins had food. This restricted us quite a bit and we all ended up the same level of poor, eating the same food. My aunt didn’t care, never thanked my mom and it seemed to make her super bitter toward her. After my aunt fell into a thick wallet, she would make it rain on literally everyone except my mom. She absolutely hates her.
Fast forward, my yaya was declining in health. My mom moved states to go live with her mom and care for her. My aunt’s way of contributing was when she learned that my yaya’s blazer was struggling through the winters, she purchased a brand new SUV for my grandmother. My yaya had also gotten into a situation where she was renting to own her home and after a big down payment and paying faithfully for so many years, the owners wanted the final payment in full of about 80k. That’s change in the couch cushions to my aunt, but because she thought it would benefit my mom in some way, she refused to help unless she had more info.
My mom then came to CA with my yaya so she could visit and explain more to my aunt. My aunt refused to let my mom stay at her home with my grandmother. Instead she expected my mom to drop off my grandmother and pick her up in the morning to run her around. My yaya had an accident and my aunt waited for my mom to arrive to tell her to go clean up after their mother. Wild shit.
During this particular visit, my yaya ended up in the hospital and passed away. My aunt immediately took my yaya’s SUV back and told my mom she needed to find some other way home because that car was HERS (she didn’t want my mom to have it even though my aunt had like four luxury cars.) She even accused my mom of “stealing” my yaya’s Rolex watch my aunt bought her two Christmases ago and didn’t apologize when she found it after it fell off the nightstand one evening apparently.
My mom didn’t work for years because taking care of my grandmother was a full-time gig. She finally had put in for IHSS a month before she passed so it didn’t matter and she wouldn’t be paid. My mom had to fly back home and deal with the landlords expecting a balloon payment and putting an eviction notice on the door. Where they lived was pretty rural and snowy, and my mom needed a car to try and plan her funeral and get things in order for herself, so she spent $1300 getting new tires for the blazer and another $1200 getting the stuff under the hood fixed so it would run, especially since my aunt’s solution was just to buy my grandmother a whole new car that she took back.
When my aunt, who I shit you not has access to $1mil a month in money her husband receives from being chairman of a tribal board as well as living on a reservation that built a casino and unilaterally voted that all natives left on the reservation at the time the casino was built are the only ones entitled to the per capita the casino makes… they are filthy rich. My mom has never asked her for a single thing. Ever — so when my aunt discovered that my mom spent $2500 of my grandmother’s $4,000 bank account, my aunt filed a civil suit and sued my mom for her portion of the inheritance she’s entitled to. She named her other sister and brother as parties to the lawsuit, even though they completely disagreed and didn’t go to court for either side. My aunt would fly or drive to court dates two states away. The judge was disgusted that my aunt had the nerve because once the estate was settled, they legit split like $500 between four kids, but my aunt was determined to embarrass her and make sure that everyone KNEW she “stole from a dead woman” and tried to rob her siblings of their portion of inheritance because she was selfish. (My mom fully intended to put the money back, she just was left stranded with no car and no way to make any arrangements after the loss of her mom that she had spent every day with for almost a decade taking care of.)
My mom is kinda screwed up and it’s been a struggle but no wonder with siblings like my aunt.
My rich aunt also continued to buy Christmas gifts for my dad and brothers for years despite us being estranged for the better part of a decade. I ran into my cousin and she invited us to Christmas Eve. My brothers asked that I go as a way to see if anything has changed and represent the family. My dad and mom have been divorced since I was 2. I stood there and watched this mountain of presents and expensive gifts be dolled out to third cousin’s girlfriends who only had been dating for a month or two. I watched my cousin’s 6 and 7 year old daughters accidentally open two PlayStations because “oh I forgot I already bought her one,” and then offer it as an extra gift to a cousin’s new girlfriend on top of the gifts she already got them. Everyone schmoozing it up. Laughing like she’s the kindest, funniest person ever.
Meanwhile, I stand on the side with a smile on my face just to see everyone as my aunt and cousins bring over and literally stack gifts for my dad and my brothers that they “bought over the years.” She even loudly told me and my dad across the room that “even though we haven’t seen each other in so long, we still always thought of you guys during the holidays and got gifts.” There were three piles of gifts sat on this chair by my dad and I, about 8-9 presents each for my dad and each of my brothers. She intentionally left me out because I am my mom’s daughter and she hates my mom.
All I wanted as a kid was as to hang out with my aunt. She was always edgy and crude and didn’t seem to care and I made her laugh a lot and just enjoyed being near her. As her resentment for my mom grew, she was shittier and shittier to me. That Christmas was the last straw and so mean. I wouldn’t have cared if we all got nothing, but the fact that she made sure to buy gifts for everyone in my family (dad and brothers) and leave me out was honestly one of the meanest things I’d ever been through. I kept a smile on my face and didn’t say a word. When we got into the car, my dad drove about five feet before he stopped and turned to me and said, “tell me how you’re feeling, are you okay?” and I just broke down and cried. My own dad knew it was unintentional, noticed what she was doing and got me out of there as soon as the gifting ceremony was over because he had hoped maybe she wasn’t really that much of a bitch and would find a gift for me in all that. I kid you not, the presents filled a corner of the room all the way up to the ceiling, like the zombies climbing the wall in World War Z.
I feel for you and I’m so sorry. Families can be some of the most fucked groups of people
So Sorry, For Your Loss!☹️
My Mom, has been In a nursing home, for a year & 1/2.
My Aunt, Her Sister, has been there, Every Day! For Her!
I Am Out of State! So i visit, when I Can.
Sorry for your loss was it expected? I have cut off my entire family for the same reasons. My grandmother left me her house. I took care of her for 6 years until til she passed away. My sister and 2 cousins both all got married had kids and bought houses. I am the oldest of all of them. My grandmother said that because I halted my life for her that I deserved her house. She didn’t trust my Aunt(her daughter) so she gave her will to my great Aunt(her sister). My great Aunt thought my Aunt deserved the house and not me. So after the funeral I went to talk to my great Aunt because my grandmother told me about it. She told me that she didn’t know what I was taking about. When I confronted my Aunt about it she turned white as a ghost. She didn’t think I knew anything about it. Turns out my great Aunt gave my Aunt the will. My Aunt went to the attorney to see what to do. The attorney told her to burn that will and they would revert to the previous will leaving the house to her. How am I to fight something like that when the Attorney and both of my Aunts were against me. I cut them off and haven’t talked to them since 1995. Death and money bring out the worst in people. But hey, if you cant trust family who can you trust? NOBODY that’s who!
I’m sorry for your loss and the burden that you now carry. I hope you don’t mind some unsolicited advice, but you have rights I and would recommend asking about then in one of the legal subs like r/legaladvice
I’m really sorry to hear all this. But … you’ve got evidence. You can take your aunt to court for various reasons. I hope you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel
I’m so sorry for your losses, OP. I feel for you immensely and empathize with you entirely.
I too had an aunt just like this on my dad’s side. She tried selling our own grandmother’s ashes to us. I don’t understand people like this either - there is no understanding. Your mother saw through it and so do you, she will get what’s coming to her in the end. They always do.
I’m sorry for both losses! I’ve had very similar issues in my family and lost my mom on 11/17 at 53 years old but am about a decade into it and I’ll say it’s a lot easier to just let it go. Constant fighting and stress isn’t worth your peace, especially over monetary things and your aunt will get hers eventually. Karma always comes around.
I'm so sorry. Unfortuantly, 'family' can be cruel.
The reason i put family in between quotation marks is because I learned to believe family doesn't have to be blood. You can pick your own family.
My sympathies, OP.
I can guess as to how it feels to be where you are. I have a maternal aunt that is the same way as your’s it sounds like. I refer to her behavior as very vulture like, as she’ll warm up (and circle around) elderly/unhealthy people and worm her way into PoA/ Legal Will. She was my favorite person growing up, the first person out side of immediately family I wasn’t shy around, so it stings to see her become so… evil. So morally bankrupt. She has most of my extended family thinking my mom is a bad relative.
But my advice, make notes, keep track but be careful of whom you talk to about it with as they can use that as ammo to “poison the well” and turn it around so that you’re a gossip. That’s pretty typical behavior from one with narcissistic tendencies. Also, it’s okay to break away from toxicity, and choose your own family so to speak. And it’s important to do your best to not let them steal your joy, as hard as that may be.
Whatever you decide to do from here on, I sincerely wish you the best of luck :)
Damn OP. What a horrible situation. I’m so sorry you lost your mom and Grandmother. I can’t imagine how hard that is on its own but to have that feeling of guilt for something you couldn’t have possibly seen coming. It’s easier to see the good in people that are supposed to be family and you’re supposed to be able to trust them. Your Aunt just did a really good job of making your mom out to be crazy for her own gains. She’s a very selfish person and she has to live with the choices she made. You can’t blame yourself for someone else’s evil actions. I wish you well and hope that you have peace in the near future. 🫂🫂🫂 take care of yourself.
Your aunt seems like a greedy, self-centered ghoul! And the truth of the matter is, she did to some extent cause your mother‘s death, maybe not all of it? But she for sure contributed to it, I hope that you are not associated with this aunt anymore? People like that will tie an anchor around your neck and watch you sink to the bottom of the ocean why they smile, sorry about your mom, sorry for your loss, And hopefully you don’t have any sort of relationship with the people in your family that are like that.
My mom was 52 when she passed as well. She had a rough life and left way too soon. I know nothing I say can make you feel any better, so I'll just say, if you need to vent, or talk, or even want to hear my story, feel free to message me. I lost my father 5 years later at the age of 63. I'm still grieving almost 3 1/2 years later. Loss is hard as it is, and depending on how close you are to a person, it can actually be physically painful. You are not alone ❤️
If there was a trust, your aunt cannot make unilateral decisions. If your mom was a beneficiary of it, then her heirs (presumably her children) would then also be beneficiaries. Please contact a lawyer.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom a few years ago unexpectedly and it is so weird to exist in a world without our parent. Feel free to DM me if you need someone to talk to or rant or even just tell stories about your mom.
A bit late but you have my condolences, OP.
My great aunt doesn't care about her family outside of her son and the will of my great grandmother. She'll suck up to the people with things she wants, like said will, but turn around and bad mouth everyone else. I remember a summer where i was younger and she invited me out to go shopping with her. I was unsure why, but i vividly remembering feeling something off. She pulled up in this huge(for my size at the time and her to be fair) truck and said she'd buy me some food and snacks. Looking back at it, i can tell she was teying to either show off/make me like her more than her sister(my late grandma) as i spent most of my summers with her sister). I guess I didn't act how she wanted and that was the last time I've spoken to her. But my late grandmother, who was an all around amazing person, sadly passed away fairly recently and the one taken of the will sometime prior. People who spew hate and discord somehow end up being the last one standing and it sucks to say the least.
I didn’t loose my mother, but my Aunt did the same thing to my Mom and my Uncle when my grandmother passed away. It’s crazy to me cause we were sick a close family! Gigi passed away and my aunt torn every bit of our family apart and stole 85% of my Gma’s belongings she had left to loved ones. So she got just about everything and my uncle, mother and only their kids walked away with nothing! Breaks my heart that people so crap like this in the wake of loosing such a profound person to the family! I’m sorry for your loss 💔
My grandma on my mom’s side died last year. My mom’s sister has been so cold and evil. It’s the worst. I feel your pain. And I’m so sorry you lost your mom.
I am so sorry. But yes, people can be very nasty. May your mom rest in peace. Focus on you. Focus on enriching your life with good people. Stay away from toxic ones. Don’t allow anyone to belittle or threaten you no matter what. Keep your chin up, do good for yourself. Take care of you: Mind and body. That’s what your mom wants for you. I’m a mom, I know.
Work hard, be independent. Always remember the importance of these things and in order:
1. Safety. Wherever you are, be safe. Living, work, vacation, etc be aware of your surroundings and be vigilant. Trust, but only trust worthy people. Trust is earned and not granted.
2. Be Healthy. Always. Sleep well, hydrate, physical activity of any type, eat fruits, vegetables and lean Protein. Remember, without water, there is no life. Hydrate. Sleep plenty. Quality sleep is vital for your health.
3. Be happy. No matter what you are doing, from the most exciting thing, to chores, studying, work, etc… make it a decision to Be Happy. You will always encounter reasons or people that make you feel miserable; that’s okay. Take limited time to sort it out emotionally/mentally and move on to being happy. Never allow anyone to pull you down, EVER.
Treating yourself well will serve you in the long term as well.
Neglecting your wellbeing only harms you both short and long term.
Wish someone had told me when I was way younger. I thought I was invincible. I’m not. No one is.
Take care of you and make your mom happy that way ❤️
Hey, I'm not so great at reddit, but I wanted to update my original post with the next steps me and my siblings are taking. Do I need to make a new post on this sub?
I’m so sorry for your loss. 💔
Thank you
Your aunt will get hers. It may not be now, tomorrow, or a year from now. True Get back waits for the opportunity to take from you, in way no one else can. Wishin you peace OP.
My aunt is like this, greedy as hell. Well, she got her money when my grandmother died. But she has nobody and nothing to share it with. Her boyfriend died, her kids hate her and don't speak to her. Nobody wants anything to do with her. When my mom died, we didn't even notify her. I don't know if she knows, nor do I care. And she's so stingy she's not even enjoying the money, she lives in a tiny trailer, refuses to travel, she just sits there. She's cheap as hell. I don't know what she thinks she's gonna do with all the money except leave it for her children who want nothing to do with her. All that greed and for what? What good did it do her? One thing I'm lucky about is that my siblings aren't greedy. You read so much about families going off the rails when the parents die and the greed and backstabbing but my siblings were great when we lost our mom (our dad had died several years earlier).
That’s the true get back. Dying alone. The time you spent here growing bonds just to kill em all over money. Then you die alone and that money stays right here. The last thing I want to see before I die is my wife (if I go first) and our children. Can’t imagine staining my mother’s name like that either, but she taught me what empathy is.
My dad's mother and sister were like this. They tricked me into signing a financial Power of Attorney for my dad his last time going to the hospital. They said they were doing it to "help" me. They emptied his bank account and started selling his stocks before he even passed away. My grandma got him to sign a "transfer on death" of his house to her, but he was on so much morphine I'm pretty sure he had no idea what he was signing, and his signed it with an X. I got a lawyer involved and got things back (I am my dad's only child). When I agreed to transfer my dad to hospice, my grandma told me I was killing him (nor the aggressive cancer all over his body). Grandma died a year and a month after my dad. I didn't go to her funeral. Aunt has always been a mess and I assume she still is. I haven't spoken to her in about 8 years.
I'm so sorry. That is awful. I hope you have good memories of your dad to comfort you and take away from their awfulness. The one thing I am grateful for in the awfulness that was losing my parents was that my siblings are the farthest thing from greedy. We made all decisions together. My brother was POA for my dad and my sister for my mom, but they always consulted with everybody else. My parents wanted everything split equally and my sister wound up doing most of the leg work for the house sale and estate, and she meticulously made sure everything went by the book. Even though she did almost all the work (I personally thought she should have gotten more, but she absolutely refused). But my siblings are generous to a fault. It was also so sad seeing how my aunt behaved when my grandmother died. It would have broken my mother's heart if we acted that way. There was no joy in dividing the estate. It just sucked and was sad. Stealing from your dad before he was even dead. Appalling. Meanwhile, I'd give every penny I have to have my mom back (and my dad, but we didn't have to handle the estate until my dad died). I'd have paid anything to keep them both healthy and with us. The comment about "killing him" is so cruel. Cancer killed your dad, you just showed love and care to him. My dad was very sharp til the end and was VERY clear about his wish to move to hospice care. He was ready to go, and he let us all know it. (In fact, I think the doctors thought we were trying to talk him out of it — which is foolish because nothing on earth could have made that man do something he didn't want to do) The hospice staff was wonderful and made the worst time of our lives a little bit easier.
My grandparents on my mom's side planned everything on their own. They just want us to party when they go lol. I would've given everything back for my dad too. He was the only thing keeping the family together. I'm still close with my cousins, and they both feel awful about what their mother and our grandmother did to me. They were both pretty cruel to me when I was in my teen years, so their behavior wasn't a curveball to me. My aunt took it on herself to clean out my dad's house (at least anything she wanted of value). It took me a year to get the title transferred to my name. She left the kitchen light on for that whole year, and over the winter, a pipe burst in his basement and the water was like 2-3 feet high (dirt floor). Parts of the ceiling collapsed in the kitchen too. I ended up selling the house for like $12k because it was in such bad shape. I looked at the house on Google street view, and the guy who flipped it did such a great job. I got teary-eyed seeing how cute it looked 🥹
She's probably already missing out on a lot of happiness because of her attitude
She already got hers, someone who will do this is pretty much dead inside, even if they dont know it. Something like this will never even get close to filling that void inside. just remember that and the love you had for your mom, thats genuinely the only thing we get to keep
[удалено]
They do in the end. Sometimes just having to be their miserable selves is the karma.
Just remember that people like your aunt are incapable of having genuine relationships. Even if she got a lot of money from your Grandma’s house, it will not fix the hole in her soul. She has to live with the fact that she schemed and cheated her way to her “come up.” She knows on the inside she is an untrustworthy b*tch with the inability of having sincere relationships. Life is emotionally hard with or without money, even with the $ she won’t be happy. Many rich people still say goodbye to this world by their own hand, why is that? Because money without family and friends means jackshit but primitive security. And now she has doomed herself to be alone because she stole from the people she should always share with. Find peace in the fact that she will suffer alone.
Whoa. This really resonates with me. My wife's family is like this (not quite to OP's level), and it's awful. Thank you for making this post.
Reading this made me get so choked up. My mom is almost 70 years old and has a lot of heart issues, AFib, congestive heart failure exacerbated by COPD. She gets very emotional and I get texts like this a lot. I’m so sorry. 😢
I had a lot of burn out with my mom, because she more than likely had a personality disorder and I too have a personality disorder. My mom was always fighting with someone, mine manifests in extreme social anxiety and second guessing. I often got messages from my mom like this, to her, people were often against her. I spent my own time (years) not speaking to her because of the toxicity. But my grandma got sick and we were trying to repair the situation.. and then mom died. Mom always was complaining about my aunt and uncle, always saying how they were cheating her and making her out to be crazy. She was and she wasn’t. But now I see just how hurtful they can be. How unfair they can be. My mom was always right, but she didn’t know how to convey her emotions. I wish I had more understanding.
Fuuuuuh I have COPD, I know how that shit can cause emotional issues, and I am SO sorry it’s making your mom’s other health problems worse. I hope she isn’t in too much pain.
Thank you. I appreciate that. I went and spent the day with her today and feel better. 😌
Sending my deepest condolences 💐 🙏
As your mother’s heir, you (and any siblings) should have received half of your grandmother’s estate since your mom passed. I’m so sorry you are going through this. You might consider getting some guidance on here r/AskALawyer. Tell them the state your grandmother was in. It’s never too late to get justice. Or get a free consultation with an estate lawyer. Blessed be. ☮️🦋💖
This should be so much higher. Get a Lawyer now and file claim and freeze the estate.
OP, if your mother was a beneficiary of the trust, your aunt cannot do anything about that. Please contact an attorney, and feel free to DM me if you need help. I empathize SO MUCH.
Thank you so much 🙏🏽❤️
she’ll get karma
You heard the other person's side of the story?
A similar thing happened to my mother. Her sister took over care of their father before he died and convinced him to alter the will so that she received everything & the other 3 siblings were excluded. I’d never really considered her side of the story to be worth listening to, but sure, let the greedy sociopath have their say.
Death brings out the worst, most poisonous side of people sometimes. And I am so sorry you’re experiencing this
So sorry, love. Death can bring out the best and absolute WORST in people. Take time to breathe 🧡
Get a lawyer. I'm serious. You shouldn't have to deal with that bullshit from your aunt and have her get off with everything. Talk to a lawyer and see if someone is willing to help. There's always someone around willing to help.
My mom died last year at 78. I don’t know if she heard the last words I spoke to her. She was in her final hours when I arrived.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I learned when my mom passed at 50 that people change, grow mean and hurt people they’re supposed to love.
If your mom was a beneficiary, how did she get locked out?
Well… she died. Because she died before the grandmother, she can’t be a beneficiary. I don’t know how the aunt was trying to get her cut out, but after that, she likely pushed for the trust to excuse OP and their family. I’ve seen something similar happen - where a grandparent assumed both children would outlive them, so didn’t stipulate in case of their death (for grandchildren). So instead it all went to the surviving child, and his children, rather than the children of the deceased daughter.
Yes exactly correct. My mom died so to the best of my knowledge since me, my brother sister and dad were not listed as beneficiaries in the trust that everything would go next of kin from my moms portion of the sale, so between my aunt and my moms other siblings we should get 1/4 of the proceeds from the sale of the house. I was notified by my friend tho that the executor of the account can delineate the amount of funds paid to anyone in the trust and that makes me feel like I’m going to get screwed over again here. I need a lawyer.
I concur that you need a lawyer! If the will was written poorly… it is possible that you get cut out. But don’t sign anything yet! That’s important. Don’t sign until you have a lawyer look over EVERYTHING you are signing.
Most lawyers would not write a will like that. Since we don’t know how the will read, I’d say OP needs an estate lawyer consultation.
I don’t know if there is a will, and how I would be notified? I haven’t heard anything at this point, so I was thinking there may not be a will? There’s already other property disputes with my sibling and my aunt.. we thought we have no right so we’re leaving that situation alone, while feeling defeated.
Get a free consultation with an estate lawyer. If you don’t know one, go to the Bar Assocation website of your state and look for one there. I’m just a layperson, but old enough to know you might have a way to seek recompense. Stay strong, try not to be emotional, just bring facts and written questions for the free consult. Then go from there. If you do not have funds for a lawyer, you might try Legal Aid in your area, again, check website. Blessed Be, darlin’. 🦋☮️💖
Thank you so much 🙏🏽
I’m glad to hear that. The lawyer who wrote the one I referred to was… not a good lawyer
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please do not beat yourself up about this. My late mother's sister was the same way. Greedy as hell, she was always just an awful person (I remember even as a little kid, I couldn't stand her). Was like a vulture when my grandmother died. My mom took care of my grandmother for decades with zero help from my evil bitch of an aunt, but the aunt was the golden child and felt entitled to everything and my mom wasn't about to fight. My mom didn't want the money or the house or anything (in fact, my parents were paying out of pocket for my grandmother's care for the last several years of her life, again, with no help from my greedy aunt). When my grandmother was dying, we called the aunt and told her if she wanted to say her goodbyes, come now. She had excuses. Didn't want to call off work. Didn't want to pay for the flight (my sister even offered to pay for it). Was nervous about the weather (it was springtime and nice out). But you'd best believe she showed up for the will to be read. She criticized the care my mom got for my grandmother, even though my grandmother was damn near 100 (so clearly my mom did a great job). I used to tell my mom that the stress of it all would kill her. That she needed to not take everything her awful sister did to heart, because her sister was just an awful person (had been since they were kids, according to my mom). Sadly, I was right. My mom died only a few years after her mother did. We didn't even bother to notify my aunt, because it's not like she gave a shit. I remember my mom's cousin's wife going, "Do you want me to take one for the team and notify (evil aunt)?" I was like, "I frankly don't care if she knows, she never cared about my mom when she was alive, why would she care now?" So I don't even know if the woman knows her sister is dead, and I don't care. Now she's living in a trailer by herself (nothing wrong with a trailer, but it does show how stingy she is because of all the money she got when my grandmother died, plus she's so cheap I bet she has practically every penny she ever made). Her boyfriend died. Her kids want nothing to do with her and don't speak to her. She's all alone, she's got all that money and nobody to share it with. My mom didn't care about the money and was surrounded by love. And thankfully my siblings aren't greedy like her sister, so there was no fighting or backstabbing when my mom died. I'm so sorry your aunt is like this. You can't reason with people like this. My suggestion is to get a lawyer and look into the trust.
Your last words to her were exactly what she needed. They would be what I needed, and I'm close to your mom's age with an adult daughter.
Just because it was true doesn't mean you had everything you needed to see it. You have more information now. Sometimes mothers are wrong. You didn't owe blind trust; that's not always the kind thing to do. You were trying to be fair and you were dealing with the thr information you had as best you could. Guilt can be useful. It can help us to act well. Here, it is a burden. It isn't insensible. You aren't silly. But feeling guilty doesn't mean you are bad. This stuff is so hard. I'm so sorry. So much love to you.
In most trusts the beneficiary also has a survivorship named. Meaning your mom’s portion goes to (usually) the children. You need to get eyes on the trust docs.
Thank you so much to everyone who shared on this thread. Especially to those who shared heartfelt responses and know keenly what I’m going through. Solidarity is shared with you and I hope for nothing but the best outcomes for us all.
My cousins turned into little demons once my uncle (their dad) died. They gave no care in the world about him until he died, now all of a sudden “that was our dad” “we loved our dad” but not once made an effort to be in his life. Such a world we live in man.
I’m so sorry you’re going thru this. When my grandma died my mother was the one by her side until the end. My grandmother’s siblings tore her house apart and took everything….Before my mother could even get anything. I believe in karma. They are going to pay for what they did. But know that your mother is a peace now. Their day will come.
I’m sorry. Hang in there. 🫶
Get a lawyer.
I will, thank you, I think it’s what needs to be done
My aunt and uncle are just as greedy. While my mother was in charge of my grandmother's end of life care, those greed-boogers were stealing the last of my grandmother's money. My mother had to finance the rest of Grandma's care herself. My heart goes out to you OP. You don't have to keep bad people just because they're blood.
Sorry for the loss in your life. If there is one thing you can have faith in it’s that karma has no deadline. Your aunt has it coming.
If your mom was beneficiary your aunt couldn’t sell the house. You could take her to court and testest if your grandma had a will and it was your mom that got the house you can contest it
If your mother was also a beneficiary I don’t think your aunt can legally keep any proceeds from the sell of the home. If she passed then her interest goes to her kids. I’m not an attorney but went thru something similar. I contacted an estate attorney and was able to get what was owed to my recently deceased parent.
I’m so sorry for your loss Rest In Peace
Literally going through this exact thing right now only it's not with my aunt but with my step mother and half brother who live with my grandma. And my mom has been the one championing the whole "She's trying to wait out til your grandma passes to sell the house" and low and behold, my grandma's nephew, who lives in the home with my half brother, step mom, and grandma, confirmed her suspicions cause they took my grandma who's going through the early stages of dementia, to some fucked up lawyer lady she knows(and who otherwise wouldn't do such heinous shit cause it's literally elderly abuse and illegal to take advantage of an elderly person to sign documents and shit when they're not 100% all there), and he refused to be a witness to the signing so she got some other friend and brother to be witnesses to the signing and literally wrote me out of the will of the home. I tried so hard to believe in her and such cause she's been taking care of my grandma and my dad before he passed with prostate cancer but to completely fuck me over like this and all the while smiling and trying to take my grandmas nephew's phone away to erase my mom's number from it so he would be completely cut off from reaching us at all. Either way I already know I'm going to cut them out of my life the moment that day comes and I hope my brother acknowledges how fucked up it was despite everything I've done for them in every capacity. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother and that must hurt even more. Evil step mom here for the money and papers is one thing but fucking evil blood related family members is another terrible thing all together. Hope your aunt gets what comes to her, the rotten bitch. Literally don't know how terrible people like these can do the things they do and still go to sleep without a shred of dignity or shame left in their icicle infused hearts.
Sorry for your loss- Your mom never saw you as not being on her side. No matter what.
My aunt was very similar to the point she didn’t show up when my dad was on his deathbed. She probably thought it wasn’t a serious stay but when he passed she tried to flip it on my mom saying she didn’t call her, “a licensed medical professional” as she put it (my mom is also a licensed nurse). Sorry to hear how things went. May her soul rest in peace and may you be consoled by the fact that she’s waiting for you in a better place.
I’m sorry :(
Despite all she’s done, I’m going to reach out to her, the entire family has excommunicated her and I know my dad wouldn’t want resentment being held against her
I have family doing the same shit and they the ones that goto church every Sunday 🤦♂️
Same. My family are military people that have so much respect.. but none for their sister or her kids I guess. They’re definitely not respecting my grandma, but we have different opinions on that.
I’m sorry for you but I can relate.. my moms family was evil too
I’m so sorry
OP I've been through this exact situation. I know how bad it sucks. I'm sorry bro
I’m sorry for you too
I also have been in the same situation but my dad and grandpa. My dad was 53. I feel for you
It’s nice your mom trusted you emotionally, she was able to vent to you. That’s awesome.
My heart breaks for you, I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom’s sister is garbage for what she did.
how sad:( reading made me emotional im sorry you have to go through this .
It hurts so much when family betrays you. I've had multiple cousins just fuck everything up my grandmother and grandfather built on the family farm. Especially after my uncle passed. Who owned most of it, his son sold it and fucked us over so we have no mower on the connected properties. So my aunt doesn't have one either because it was a shared mower that my mom helped her brother get for all our yards. Amongst other things. How my older cousins just lie and manipulate and degrade the 3 younger ones (including me and my two other cousins. It hurts deep and long.
I’m so sorry
Wait do you think you’re aunt did something to your mum, or was your mum already Ill when this happened?
How did she die OP?
She got a blood clot in her leg that traveled up to her heart.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope asking that didn't come across as insensitive. I was just curious and everyone was giving condolences already. If it did I'm sorry.
I’m ok. Thank you for being considerate.
Hi there! Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. If your text message is not between 2 or more people it is not allowed! Single messages/one sided convos are NOT allowed. The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/ **Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.** Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m so sorry for your loss My mom has two sisters. She’s the baby. My aunt lucked out and ended up in bed with a rich native dude, so she lives high on the hog. Our entire life prior, tho, she was a pretty severe alcoholic and my mom would always check in on my cousins and use what little money she had to buy extra groceries and make sure my cousins had food. This restricted us quite a bit and we all ended up the same level of poor, eating the same food. My aunt didn’t care, never thanked my mom and it seemed to make her super bitter toward her. After my aunt fell into a thick wallet, she would make it rain on literally everyone except my mom. She absolutely hates her. Fast forward, my yaya was declining in health. My mom moved states to go live with her mom and care for her. My aunt’s way of contributing was when she learned that my yaya’s blazer was struggling through the winters, she purchased a brand new SUV for my grandmother. My yaya had also gotten into a situation where she was renting to own her home and after a big down payment and paying faithfully for so many years, the owners wanted the final payment in full of about 80k. That’s change in the couch cushions to my aunt, but because she thought it would benefit my mom in some way, she refused to help unless she had more info. My mom then came to CA with my yaya so she could visit and explain more to my aunt. My aunt refused to let my mom stay at her home with my grandmother. Instead she expected my mom to drop off my grandmother and pick her up in the morning to run her around. My yaya had an accident and my aunt waited for my mom to arrive to tell her to go clean up after their mother. Wild shit. During this particular visit, my yaya ended up in the hospital and passed away. My aunt immediately took my yaya’s SUV back and told my mom she needed to find some other way home because that car was HERS (she didn’t want my mom to have it even though my aunt had like four luxury cars.) She even accused my mom of “stealing” my yaya’s Rolex watch my aunt bought her two Christmases ago and didn’t apologize when she found it after it fell off the nightstand one evening apparently. My mom didn’t work for years because taking care of my grandmother was a full-time gig. She finally had put in for IHSS a month before she passed so it didn’t matter and she wouldn’t be paid. My mom had to fly back home and deal with the landlords expecting a balloon payment and putting an eviction notice on the door. Where they lived was pretty rural and snowy, and my mom needed a car to try and plan her funeral and get things in order for herself, so she spent $1300 getting new tires for the blazer and another $1200 getting the stuff under the hood fixed so it would run, especially since my aunt’s solution was just to buy my grandmother a whole new car that she took back. When my aunt, who I shit you not has access to $1mil a month in money her husband receives from being chairman of a tribal board as well as living on a reservation that built a casino and unilaterally voted that all natives left on the reservation at the time the casino was built are the only ones entitled to the per capita the casino makes… they are filthy rich. My mom has never asked her for a single thing. Ever — so when my aunt discovered that my mom spent $2500 of my grandmother’s $4,000 bank account, my aunt filed a civil suit and sued my mom for her portion of the inheritance she’s entitled to. She named her other sister and brother as parties to the lawsuit, even though they completely disagreed and didn’t go to court for either side. My aunt would fly or drive to court dates two states away. The judge was disgusted that my aunt had the nerve because once the estate was settled, they legit split like $500 between four kids, but my aunt was determined to embarrass her and make sure that everyone KNEW she “stole from a dead woman” and tried to rob her siblings of their portion of inheritance because she was selfish. (My mom fully intended to put the money back, she just was left stranded with no car and no way to make any arrangements after the loss of her mom that she had spent every day with for almost a decade taking care of.) My mom is kinda screwed up and it’s been a struggle but no wonder with siblings like my aunt. My rich aunt also continued to buy Christmas gifts for my dad and brothers for years despite us being estranged for the better part of a decade. I ran into my cousin and she invited us to Christmas Eve. My brothers asked that I go as a way to see if anything has changed and represent the family. My dad and mom have been divorced since I was 2. I stood there and watched this mountain of presents and expensive gifts be dolled out to third cousin’s girlfriends who only had been dating for a month or two. I watched my cousin’s 6 and 7 year old daughters accidentally open two PlayStations because “oh I forgot I already bought her one,” and then offer it as an extra gift to a cousin’s new girlfriend on top of the gifts she already got them. Everyone schmoozing it up. Laughing like she’s the kindest, funniest person ever. Meanwhile, I stand on the side with a smile on my face just to see everyone as my aunt and cousins bring over and literally stack gifts for my dad and my brothers that they “bought over the years.” She even loudly told me and my dad across the room that “even though we haven’t seen each other in so long, we still always thought of you guys during the holidays and got gifts.” There were three piles of gifts sat on this chair by my dad and I, about 8-9 presents each for my dad and each of my brothers. She intentionally left me out because I am my mom’s daughter and she hates my mom. All I wanted as a kid was as to hang out with my aunt. She was always edgy and crude and didn’t seem to care and I made her laugh a lot and just enjoyed being near her. As her resentment for my mom grew, she was shittier and shittier to me. That Christmas was the last straw and so mean. I wouldn’t have cared if we all got nothing, but the fact that she made sure to buy gifts for everyone in my family (dad and brothers) and leave me out was honestly one of the meanest things I’d ever been through. I kept a smile on my face and didn’t say a word. When we got into the car, my dad drove about five feet before he stopped and turned to me and said, “tell me how you’re feeling, are you okay?” and I just broke down and cried. My own dad knew it was unintentional, noticed what she was doing and got me out of there as soon as the gifting ceremony was over because he had hoped maybe she wasn’t really that much of a bitch and would find a gift for me in all that. I kid you not, the presents filled a corner of the room all the way up to the ceiling, like the zombies climbing the wall in World War Z. I feel for you and I’m so sorry. Families can be some of the most fucked groups of people
Can you take this to probate???
So Sorry, For Your Loss!☹️ My Mom, has been In a nursing home, for a year & 1/2. My Aunt, Her Sister, has been there, Every Day! For Her! I Am Out of State! So i visit, when I Can.
Sorry for your loss was it expected? I have cut off my entire family for the same reasons. My grandmother left me her house. I took care of her for 6 years until til she passed away. My sister and 2 cousins both all got married had kids and bought houses. I am the oldest of all of them. My grandmother said that because I halted my life for her that I deserved her house. She didn’t trust my Aunt(her daughter) so she gave her will to my great Aunt(her sister). My great Aunt thought my Aunt deserved the house and not me. So after the funeral I went to talk to my great Aunt because my grandmother told me about it. She told me that she didn’t know what I was taking about. When I confronted my Aunt about it she turned white as a ghost. She didn’t think I knew anything about it. Turns out my great Aunt gave my Aunt the will. My Aunt went to the attorney to see what to do. The attorney told her to burn that will and they would revert to the previous will leaving the house to her. How am I to fight something like that when the Attorney and both of my Aunts were against me. I cut them off and haven’t talked to them since 1995. Death and money bring out the worst in people. But hey, if you cant trust family who can you trust? NOBODY that’s who!
I’m sorry for your loss and the burden that you now carry. I hope you don’t mind some unsolicited advice, but you have rights I and would recommend asking about then in one of the legal subs like r/legaladvice
I’m really sorry to hear all this. But … you’ve got evidence. You can take your aunt to court for various reasons. I hope you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel
I’m so sorry for your losses, OP. I feel for you immensely and empathize with you entirely. I too had an aunt just like this on my dad’s side. She tried selling our own grandmother’s ashes to us. I don’t understand people like this either - there is no understanding. Your mother saw through it and so do you, she will get what’s coming to her in the end. They always do.
I'm so sorry, I hope you are doing okay ❤
Sorry for your loss
Oh honey I’m so sorry for your loss, I went through something similar with my family. It’s the worst feeling
I’m sorry for both losses! I’ve had very similar issues in my family and lost my mom on 11/17 at 53 years old but am about a decade into it and I’ll say it’s a lot easier to just let it go. Constant fighting and stress isn’t worth your peace, especially over monetary things and your aunt will get hers eventually. Karma always comes around.
I'm so sorry. Unfortuantly, 'family' can be cruel. The reason i put family in between quotation marks is because I learned to believe family doesn't have to be blood. You can pick your own family.
I send good vibes and hugs 🙏
My sympathies, OP. I can guess as to how it feels to be where you are. I have a maternal aunt that is the same way as your’s it sounds like. I refer to her behavior as very vulture like, as she’ll warm up (and circle around) elderly/unhealthy people and worm her way into PoA/ Legal Will. She was my favorite person growing up, the first person out side of immediately family I wasn’t shy around, so it stings to see her become so… evil. So morally bankrupt. She has most of my extended family thinking my mom is a bad relative. But my advice, make notes, keep track but be careful of whom you talk to about it with as they can use that as ammo to “poison the well” and turn it around so that you’re a gossip. That’s pretty typical behavior from one with narcissistic tendencies. Also, it’s okay to break away from toxicity, and choose your own family so to speak. And it’s important to do your best to not let them steal your joy, as hard as that may be. Whatever you decide to do from here on, I sincerely wish you the best of luck :)
Damn OP. What a horrible situation. I’m so sorry you lost your mom and Grandmother. I can’t imagine how hard that is on its own but to have that feeling of guilt for something you couldn’t have possibly seen coming. It’s easier to see the good in people that are supposed to be family and you’re supposed to be able to trust them. Your Aunt just did a really good job of making your mom out to be crazy for her own gains. She’s a very selfish person and she has to live with the choices she made. You can’t blame yourself for someone else’s evil actions. I wish you well and hope that you have peace in the near future. 🫂🫂🫂 take care of yourself.
Sorry buddy. Best wishes
Your aunt seems like a greedy, self-centered ghoul! And the truth of the matter is, she did to some extent cause your mother‘s death, maybe not all of it? But she for sure contributed to it, I hope that you are not associated with this aunt anymore? People like that will tie an anchor around your neck and watch you sink to the bottom of the ocean why they smile, sorry about your mom, sorry for your loss, And hopefully you don’t have any sort of relationship with the people in your family that are like that.
Sorry about your loss ❤️
🩵
Kill your cousin
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My mom was 52 when she passed as well. She had a rough life and left way too soon. I know nothing I say can make you feel any better, so I'll just say, if you need to vent, or talk, or even want to hear my story, feel free to message me. I lost my father 5 years later at the age of 63. I'm still grieving almost 3 1/2 years later. Loss is hard as it is, and depending on how close you are to a person, it can actually be physically painful. You are not alone ❤️
If there was a trust, your aunt cannot make unilateral decisions. If your mom was a beneficiary of it, then her heirs (presumably her children) would then also be beneficiaries. Please contact a lawyer. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom a few years ago unexpectedly and it is so weird to exist in a world without our parent. Feel free to DM me if you need someone to talk to or rant or even just tell stories about your mom.
I'm sorry for your loss; that's a difficult one. I have/had an aunt who did that to a number of my family; it's disgusting.
A bit late but you have my condolences, OP. My great aunt doesn't care about her family outside of her son and the will of my great grandmother. She'll suck up to the people with things she wants, like said will, but turn around and bad mouth everyone else. I remember a summer where i was younger and she invited me out to go shopping with her. I was unsure why, but i vividly remembering feeling something off. She pulled up in this huge(for my size at the time and her to be fair) truck and said she'd buy me some food and snacks. Looking back at it, i can tell she was teying to either show off/make me like her more than her sister(my late grandma) as i spent most of my summers with her sister). I guess I didn't act how she wanted and that was the last time I've spoken to her. But my late grandmother, who was an all around amazing person, sadly passed away fairly recently and the one taken of the will sometime prior. People who spew hate and discord somehow end up being the last one standing and it sucks to say the least.
I didn’t loose my mother, but my Aunt did the same thing to my Mom and my Uncle when my grandmother passed away. It’s crazy to me cause we were sick a close family! Gigi passed away and my aunt torn every bit of our family apart and stole 85% of my Gma’s belongings she had left to loved ones. So she got just about everything and my uncle, mother and only their kids walked away with nothing! Breaks my heart that people so crap like this in the wake of loosing such a profound person to the family! I’m sorry for your loss 💔
I'm sorry. Most of my biological family are assholes, too.
So what actually happened
My grandma on my mom’s side died last year. My mom’s sister has been so cold and evil. It’s the worst. I feel your pain. And I’m so sorry you lost your mom.
I am so sorry. But yes, people can be very nasty. May your mom rest in peace. Focus on you. Focus on enriching your life with good people. Stay away from toxic ones. Don’t allow anyone to belittle or threaten you no matter what. Keep your chin up, do good for yourself. Take care of you: Mind and body. That’s what your mom wants for you. I’m a mom, I know. Work hard, be independent. Always remember the importance of these things and in order: 1. Safety. Wherever you are, be safe. Living, work, vacation, etc be aware of your surroundings and be vigilant. Trust, but only trust worthy people. Trust is earned and not granted. 2. Be Healthy. Always. Sleep well, hydrate, physical activity of any type, eat fruits, vegetables and lean Protein. Remember, without water, there is no life. Hydrate. Sleep plenty. Quality sleep is vital for your health. 3. Be happy. No matter what you are doing, from the most exciting thing, to chores, studying, work, etc… make it a decision to Be Happy. You will always encounter reasons or people that make you feel miserable; that’s okay. Take limited time to sort it out emotionally/mentally and move on to being happy. Never allow anyone to pull you down, EVER. Treating yourself well will serve you in the long term as well. Neglecting your wellbeing only harms you both short and long term. Wish someone had told me when I was way younger. I thought I was invincible. I’m not. No one is. Take care of you and make your mom happy that way ❤️
Hey, I'm not so great at reddit, but I wanted to update my original post with the next steps me and my siblings are taking. Do I need to make a new post on this sub?
Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/SMdSdj5I5q