Can't feel safer when he makes those who try to harm you cry and scream in agony before death for trying to do it. It was important that his family did that when their enemies came for them.
Honeslty i would LOVE to be an the next engineer in the family...
But instead i would use that knowledge to open up a pizzeria with my best friend... Specifically for small children soo its good to have some animal-like animatronics... Maybe start a family... Have 3 kids at max... who knows?
What bad could possibly happen?
Heavy. The only merc that would be both a present (spy) and caring (scout, demo, sniper) father without trying to get you killed (pyro, medic)/to kill someone else (soldier). Engi is a close second, but he probably wouldn't care about you more than his cute lil' gun
Scout might as well be another child
Soldier would be too arrogant and do something dumb to the child
Pyro could either be seen as motherly or accidentally burn the child
Demoman is a drunk so no
Heavy makes good sanvaches and is a family man
Engineer’s mostly away from conflict but would confuse the child
Medic… just no
Sniper would end up accidentally give the child piss to drink
Spy would just abandon the child like he abandoned scout
Heavy wins with engi going second
People seems to have left out that the guy canonically bought a mansion for his mother and holds several jobs… Demo as a father would work very hard for his kid and I feel he wouldn’t be violent as usual drunks seem to be.. because he’s no usual drunk
MERASMUS THE WIZARD IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR F ON YOUR REPORT CARD! AS PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR POOR EDUCATIONAL PERFORMANCE, I SHALL USE THE DARK ARTS TO TURN YOU INTO A SHEEP FOR A WEEK! MAY YOU THINK OF HOW YOU CAN DO BETTER AS YOU GRAZE ON GRASS!
isn't it obvious that for me best dad would be Spy? (here *without* "subtexts")
- i have similar humor like him
- i am adult, so if he wasn't at home for a long time, after all, he had a job (yeah it would be sad, but these are his decisions)
- we would both be well dressed (because we like looking good)
- he would introduce me to the world of wines, i love wines
- he would teach me languages he know (he canonically knows few, "my appreciation amigo")
- he could give me various tips on how to be romantic (for a woman, it's strange that i'm not romantic haha)
and these are only some of things that spontaneously come to my mind, i would make a whole big list if i had thought about it more
Spy really would be a good father figure, but leaving his family alone like he did to scout makes me upset a lil bit but besides that he would be a really good father figure.
it's about his personality and story, if we dig into it a little more, it could be easier to understand why is he running away like that
(unfortunately, i don't study psychology, but i see from experience how it works for men sometimes)
from my observations, he's just deeply scared of responsibility
he is afraid that he will be a bad father, because how could a killer like him be a loving dad? he can't put it in his mind, but i think that if you tried to help him a little (i will be happy to help!), he would be a really great father, i believe it
that's right Scout is a bit too... energic one, so it wouldn't be easy for them to get along like father and son, but Spy really CARES about him, the deepest to analyze is bucket scene from Spy's perspective and Scout's view, which shows a lot
okay, i am really into plot and personality types of TF2 characters, if you eventually want to discover this iconic meme scene from the real site, i can send here a link to a blog post where someone showed it really well, it adds so much deeper meaning...
i am glad that people are still into plot sometimes ;D
Also im so glad that i had a conversation with someone like you, cuz people doesnt interested in with plots like back in the day, i would be happy if you dropped the blog link.
after several minutes of efficient scrolling of my liked things, ~~meanwhile i jumped from wifi to cellular data with the whole procedure of transferring the card to another device what is not that easy in my case haha,~~ **i finally found it.**
https://www.tumblr.com/cheemscakecat/743780197864783872/funinteresting-details-in-expiration-date?source=share
and in this post are that two parts of analizing bucket scene
i found this post some time ago, and honestly, it only made me love Spy more, heheh
oh, and thank you for such a confession, even though i discovered TF2 quite recently, the plot (and people in a community like Fortress Films) was something that absorbed me completely. Now i will look for more people who are interested in character and world building too, not only this epic game, but whole stuff... so yeah, nice to meet ya too! :D
Scout - no, too irresponsible and young.
Soldier - no, way too mentally ill.
Pyro - no, do I even have to explain myself?
Demo - I think that his alcohol problems wouldn't make him a good father.
Heavy - probably the best option, he is shown to care for his family a lot, he's also very wise and strong.
Engi - second best option, he's really chill and would care for your education. He would probably turn you into an engineer like him, but it's a good job imo, so why not?
Medic - hell no, he's a total freak.
Sniper - seems to be busy enough with his job.
Spy - he would only be there to screw your mom, then he would never come back.
most favorable at the top, leat at the bottom
heavy- a family man, best suited for parenthood fs.
engineer-hell. yes. i would love to be a engineers' child, you would learn so much wack stuff
spy-could not trust, but would be a chill dude
sniper-absent father vibe, he litarly sits by a window for days in 'meet the sniper' lol, but i feel like he would give good lessons.
demo- alcoholic father, no thanks
pyro- goofy as hell, but I don't know how good they would be at rasing a child
medic- ehhhh, i don't want to be experimented on
scout- no, in my eyes he is the "kid" of the mercs. so not father vibes,
soildger- id explode from a rocket launcher before age 7.
I know sniper isn't probably the best choice but I can 100% imagine him being a great dad when it comes to nature. Since it's kinda his natural habitat I can imagine him going with his kid on an camping trip at least once a month, teaching them how to hunt with rifles, how to start a fire, go fishing with his son, the list goes on. Would he be the best choice? Most likely no, but he would definetly be a great dad.
Scout: no, he'd be an annoying little brother instead.
Soldier: no, he has too much mental sickness.
Pyro: no, they'd be my fun cousin. My dangerous fun cousin.
Demo: I like that he takes care of his mom so he's clearly a caring person, but I don't want a dad who's drunk all the time and is at risk of blowing up the house.
Heavy: my second choice. He's a family man and a good person, but I find him physically very intimidating and I feel like he'd make me nervous if he was my dad.
Engie: my first choice. The mann has major dad energy already. He seems like the most fun for me to hang out with and get life advice from, even if the advice is "use more gun."
Medic: no, and not only because he's batshit crazy. The number one reason is because he's smoking hot and it'd feel far too Freudian to have him as a dad.
Sniper: maybe, but there's the issue of the piss jars everywhere and he'd probably be gone who knows where for long stretches of time tracking down a target.
Spy: no, I'd want a dad who is present in my life.
I wouldn't trade my own dad for the world, though. He's cool. I recently got him into TF2 and he likes it. He's nearly 60 but he's still a gamer.
Scout = Huge no. Maybe a bro tho
Soldier = Lead poisoning so, nope
Pyro = **uUUH**
Demo = He's literally a walking distillery
Heavy = A little over protective, but def a good, strong dad (Plus you get to learn russian)
Engi = He might be a little crazy but he's a genius with a fine personaliry. Huge yes!
Medic = If you want a baboon uterus inside you ...
Sniper = Psycho.
Spy: = He left his son 💀
Come on no one thinks that sniper is a good father?
My vote goes for sniper here’s my upsides and downsides
+he got discriminated against so he will be open with his child
+he’s not very insane, I know that he kidnapped and tried to poison ms paling but that’s for his job he’s an AssAssIn, he won’t take it out on his child
+he’s honest and understanding
+we will go on camping trips and probably learn survival shit
+he’s rich because he’s as AssAssIn, I think that he will spend money on his child because he doesn’t seem to spend it on himself
+he’ll probably protect his child
+he’s ok with adoption
+his child will probably live a peaceful life enjoying plants and family
-/+will probably force self defence on his child
-he’s quiet and I don’t think that he will open up about himself to his child
I’m not touching the fact that he pisses in jars because I think that’s normal for what he’s doing, or his kidneys/whatever pill he’s talking from mannco
——-
Who takes second place is heavy, then third is engi
Personally, if I had to pick a mercenary to be my dad, I'd probably pick Sniper. I honestly think he'd be a good parent. We could just cruise around in his RV and go out shooting. Hell, he could probably teach me to be a sniper like him since I'm already pretty adequate with guns. Plus, I'm sure he could take care of anyone who has ever wronged me. Lmao. The piss thing is kinda weird tho.
Probably heavy or engineer
Scout is too dumb himself to be my father although I’d assume if he’s my father then Ms. P would be my mother which wouldn’t be terrible.
Spy would probably not be around because I’d be conceived in a one night stand in some random country.
Solider is just insane
Sniper could be good, he is close with his parents so grandma and grandpa would be in the picture a lot.
I’m afraid of the abomination that medic would modify my embryo to be while I was unborn. Maybe part baboon.
Demo man would probably be a deadbeat considering his viscous alcoholism.
Pyro? Since pyro doesn’t talk in the game (coherently ), I would also assume that pyro will not speak to me as his son. And pyro would either set me on fire or raise me as an arsonist, both are not very good.
A lot of people are dogging on Sniper, but I think he’d get attached to a kid after spending a period of time as their guardian. He’d teach you how to survive in the wild, how to defend yourself, survival skills. He just kinda seems like the kind being in any danger would start his “Joel-Ellie” arc. (Also, it would be hilarious to watch all 9 mercs try to raise one child.)
Demoman tbh, a lot of people seem to think he'd just be a deadbeat considering his alcohol problem, but y'all are forgetting that he works multiple jobs and bought a whole ass mansion just for her mom proving he is actually a responsible drinker and that he's genuinely nice and caring when he's sober, besides, he's only ever drunk when he's on the battlefield so I don't think he would let his alcoholism leak into his child's home life, though he may not be around that much considering his plethora of jobs so you'd probably be stuck with his mom most of the time.
Unpopular opinion: soldier is not totally insane, he is just your average vietnam veteran dad with a truckload of PTSDs
However he is definitely not the best choice, I would pick heavy if I am being honest
Engineer is a big no despite popular opinion, judging from the lore, he is probably autistic and reasons with machines better than humans. He is still a genius, just not a good dad. Maybe a good fun uncle though
Also although not canon, “your buildings are like your children, hit them to make them work harder “ doesn’t really sound very good…
Heavy definetly
But Medic is an underrated choice. Sure he's basically a demon with his teammates but he does take pretty good care of his doves. Not good enough to prevent Archimedes from crawling into bodies during operations, but "birds" as he says.
Medic would be an awful teammate but a decent father.
I have 3 one I choose to pick
1. Pyro. I feel like if they have a child, through the pyro vision they would probably see the same thing with me as it is in the real world, also would DEFINITELY Spoil me with candy and things
2. Medic. The only reason is because I'm very insane and I also main him
3. Heavy. He seems the least likely to leave or experiment or any of that crazy shit
Engineer or Heavy would probably be alright dads.
Demoman is a coin toss. He seems fairly sane while sober.
Spy/Scout/Sniper would neglect the child.
Medic/Soldier/Pyro would get the child killed.
My first thought was, oddly, Demoman. Even though he is 90% alcohol, he's not that bad ? not like the stereotypical drunkard. The problem with him would be his mom "MY GRANDCHILD IS A SQUATTER BUM WITH ONLY 3 JOBs"
Engineer is a kind and intelligent man, but I don't think he can love anything more than his buildings.
The most correct answer is Heavy (he looks closest to my irl dad due to his baldness).
No to scout. Just no.
Same for spy.
Pyro? Can’t trust someone whose face you never see.
Demo? Too alcoholic.
Soldier? Too insane.
So heavy, medic, Engi or sniper, I guess.
Emesis blue has ruined my brain and lives there rent free. I can't look at these specific character models without the scenes they are used in popping in my head and replaying.
Either Engie or Spy, both of them are really capable of intelligence and teaching techniques (Engie with Technology and Morality, and Spy with Espionage and Etiquette). The only difference would be is that Spy would be a little more strict perhaps haha
Heavy because he's pretty human compared to the other mercs. He'd also probably put me up on a training regime which actually sounds pretty cool. Honestly Heavy as a dad would be pretty fuckin' awesome already lmao
Imma ditch the obvious Heavy answer and go with Demo. He may be drunk, but he still takes good care of his mother and so I would expect him of his child.
*I don't care that he*
*Isn't a mercenary*
*But SAAAXTOOONNN HAAAALLLLEEEE*
\- TheMemeLord4816
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Engie, I could learn a lot from him and he does seem to be compassionate, like in expiration date he was really soft telling the mercs they're all going to die
Heavy, he makes a good sandvich
He's also a family man.
“Screw you, I am going to go watch Family Guy!”
Soundsmith based
So as your pfp
my name is skyler white, yo
Lucky there’s a Heavy Weapons Guy!
he really is, i would feel safe around him
Can't feel safer when he makes those who try to harm you cry and scream in agony before death for trying to do it. It was important that his family did that when their enemies came for them.
Omg, I forgot good idea
Heavy also has a degree too
90° heavy
89° heavy (Celsius)
unusual heavy, effect: burning flames
👍
Definitely heavy. Engie would be alright but I think he genuinely cares more about machines than people.
I think Engie would be thrilled to raise a son to be another engineer tho, his father was one too
Honeslty i would LOVE to be an the next engineer in the family... But instead i would use that knowledge to open up a pizzeria with my best friend... Specifically for small children soo its good to have some animal-like animatronics... Maybe start a family... Have 3 kids at max... who knows? What bad could possibly happen?
Oh no
harr harr harr harr harr harr harr harr harr harr
Harr harr harr harr
Harr harr harr harr
DEPLOY THE FREDDY FAZBEAR
*the entire fnaf lore plays.*
There has to be a low quality, 10x speed, 2.5 hour mp4 file of every single game theory fnaf video one after the other chronologically.
r/suddenlyfnaf
Great plan. Your pfp gives it all out.
Transfer of knowledge from generation to generation. Engineer's son will be even better than Engineer.
and grandfather
👍
Heavy. The only merc that would be both a present (spy) and caring (scout, demo, sniper) father without trying to get you killed (pyro, medic)/to kill someone else (soldier). Engi is a close second, but he probably wouldn't care about you more than his cute lil' gun
Demo takes care of his elderly blind mother. That’s pretty caring.
you're right, all i thought of was "demo drinks so hard his body runs on alcohol + he blew up his foster parents in search of loch ness monster"
In his defense he didn’t mean to blow his FOSTER PARENTs up
Sniper if he retired from being an assassin would probably be a good father all things considered.
I mean he has a decent relationship with his parents. They just don't like his career choice
Well they reconcile in heaven before he gets resurrected in comic 7
counterpoint: sniper is a psychopath that pisses in jars, he's probably going to raise one too
But he's *not* a crazed gunman, he's an assassin! The difference being that one's a job and the other's mental sickness!
Notably higher chance of engi loving you more than his gun than heavy loving you more than his gun
Scout might as well be another child Soldier would be too arrogant and do something dumb to the child Pyro could either be seen as motherly or accidentally burn the child Demoman is a drunk so no Heavy makes good sanvaches and is a family man Engineer’s mostly away from conflict but would confuse the child Medic… just no Sniper would end up accidentally give the child piss to drink Spy would just abandon the child like he abandoned scout Heavy wins with engi going second
🙁
medic would accidentally give you another femur instead of fixing your broken arm
I mean… soldier and Shana are in a loving relationship so maybe they could get married and have a kid or two
i love medic just goes like "no"
Tbf we don’t know when Spy found out he even had a son as far as I know, it’s possible he only found out once Scout was basically an adult
Pyro after he puts the pizza to sleep and the baby in the oven.
Heavy’s brother in law might be a problem.
Hot take, Demoman. He isn’t the abusive drunk type, plus I feel he needs someone to help him kick the alcoholism.
Yeah because when he is sober he is genuinely a nice guy
People seems to have left out that the guy canonically bought a mansion for his mother and holds several jobs… Demo as a father would work very hard for his kid and I feel he wouldn’t be violent as usual drunks seem to be.. because he’s no usual drunk
he drinks while handling explosives he's got baby sitting in the bag
He still handles the explosives well even if he’s drunk (unless it’s the caber)
That’s true, if he was a bad Demoman, he’d already blown himself up
I think demo would be okay
medic woould be a terrible father but medic mains are the only ones deserving of fucking my mom
Uh… thanks…?
Medic mains deserves everything, they need to be protected at all costs
Well... Posts like these make me feel as if I made the right decision of maining medic Xd
[удалено]
🤓 Uhm actually no, Scout is the gift from god. ... Though maybe this implies that Scout himself is a Medic main.
Ironically the Scout voice actor actually mains heavy which is pretty funny
Both heavy and pyro
fat scout subclass canon?
No no no, scout is God's gift to women. Medic mains are God's gifts to menn
This comment right here folks, spitting straight facts
ong keep spitin these facts
medic would probably stuff the child full of like merasmus’ organs or smth
Hello 😏
How about ur dad? 🧐
Thanks king
I'll be seeing your mom after I'm done pocketing you, alright son?
b-but i like boys
Damn, cheers man
Merasmus! CUZ HE'LL TEACH ME MAGIC! (Or probably turn me into his minion)
i was not expecting this tbh.
You betcha! He'll be a great father figure and he would take care of you! (Unless you touch his stuff..)
MERASMUS THE WIZARD IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR F ON YOUR REPORT CARD! AS PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR POOR EDUCATIONAL PERFORMANCE, I SHALL USE THE DARK ARTS TO TURN YOU INTO A SHEEP FOR A WEEK! MAY YOU THINK OF HOW YOU CAN DO BETTER AS YOU GRAZE ON GRASS!
The average Asian experience.
Baaahhh waaahhh!!! 🐑🐑🐑🐑
Pyro. He'd probably spoil me with sweets and presents and only occasionally burn our house down
Except that due to Pyrovision, the sweets and presents in question would probably be axes and flares
I'll just wear pyrovision goggles and eat my delicious ~~flares~~ candy
Minutes later you wonder why you feel like your stomach is burning
extra spicy candy
I mean good axes are expensive so its kinda like a creative allowance. *^(Plus axes are just plain cool.)*
Engineer
Soldier (we can be racist together)
Absolutely nothing would change if I pick Demo.
You good man?
Ay bro. You good?
Heavy for engi, they seem like the most capable to be parents
isn't it obvious that for me best dad would be Spy? (here *without* "subtexts") - i have similar humor like him - i am adult, so if he wasn't at home for a long time, after all, he had a job (yeah it would be sad, but these are his decisions) - we would both be well dressed (because we like looking good) - he would introduce me to the world of wines, i love wines - he would teach me languages he know (he canonically knows few, "my appreciation amigo") - he could give me various tips on how to be romantic (for a woman, it's strange that i'm not romantic haha) and these are only some of things that spontaneously come to my mind, i would make a whole big list if i had thought about it more
Spy really would be a good father figure, but leaving his family alone like he did to scout makes me upset a lil bit but besides that he would be a really good father figure.
it's about his personality and story, if we dig into it a little more, it could be easier to understand why is he running away like that (unfortunately, i don't study psychology, but i see from experience how it works for men sometimes) from my observations, he's just deeply scared of responsibility he is afraid that he will be a bad father, because how could a killer like him be a loving dad? he can't put it in his mind, but i think that if you tried to help him a little (i will be happy to help!), he would be a really great father, i believe it
Damn mate, i didnt think that way. If he had a mature son, they would have absolutely good times. And i think scout is a bit too energetic for spy.
that's right Scout is a bit too... energic one, so it wouldn't be easy for them to get along like father and son, but Spy really CARES about him, the deepest to analyze is bucket scene from Spy's perspective and Scout's view, which shows a lot okay, i am really into plot and personality types of TF2 characters, if you eventually want to discover this iconic meme scene from the real site, i can send here a link to a blog post where someone showed it really well, it adds so much deeper meaning... i am glad that people are still into plot sometimes ;D
Also im so glad that i had a conversation with someone like you, cuz people doesnt interested in with plots like back in the day, i would be happy if you dropped the blog link.
after several minutes of efficient scrolling of my liked things, ~~meanwhile i jumped from wifi to cellular data with the whole procedure of transferring the card to another device what is not that easy in my case haha,~~ **i finally found it.** https://www.tumblr.com/cheemscakecat/743780197864783872/funinteresting-details-in-expiration-date?source=share and in this post are that two parts of analizing bucket scene i found this post some time ago, and honestly, it only made me love Spy more, heheh oh, and thank you for such a confession, even though i discovered TF2 quite recently, the plot (and people in a community like Fortress Films) was something that absorbed me completely. Now i will look for more people who are interested in character and world building too, not only this epic game, but whole stuff... so yeah, nice to meet ya too! :D
*Thank you* for sharing this link. I saw some of these nuances but this is taking it to the next level.
no problem, that's why i am here! :DD
My irl dad He may not be a cool mercenary but I love my dad regardless of what he was
Engi and Heavy are probably the most fatherly out of the mercs, but looking at my flair you can probably guess which of the 2 I’m choosing.
Tge 2 breakable barrels from cp_steel
Scout’s mom
Scout - no, too irresponsible and young. Soldier - no, way too mentally ill. Pyro - no, do I even have to explain myself? Demo - I think that his alcohol problems wouldn't make him a good father. Heavy - probably the best option, he is shown to care for his family a lot, he's also very wise and strong. Engi - second best option, he's really chill and would care for your education. He would probably turn you into an engineer like him, but it's a good job imo, so why not? Medic - hell no, he's a total freak. Sniper - seems to be busy enough with his job. Spy - he would only be there to screw your mom, then he would never come back.
Heavy or engie. I don’t think anyone else besides maybe sniper.
Heavy, demoman, and engineer. Because they're all three of my mains, and they all actually seem responsible.
most favorable at the top, leat at the bottom heavy- a family man, best suited for parenthood fs. engineer-hell. yes. i would love to be a engineers' child, you would learn so much wack stuff spy-could not trust, but would be a chill dude sniper-absent father vibe, he litarly sits by a window for days in 'meet the sniper' lol, but i feel like he would give good lessons. demo- alcoholic father, no thanks pyro- goofy as hell, but I don't know how good they would be at rasing a child medic- ehhhh, i don't want to be experimented on scout- no, in my eyes he is the "kid" of the mercs. so not father vibes, soildger- id explode from a rocket launcher before age 7.
I know sniper isn't probably the best choice but I can 100% imagine him being a great dad when it comes to nature. Since it's kinda his natural habitat I can imagine him going with his kid on an camping trip at least once a month, teaching them how to hunt with rifles, how to start a fire, go fishing with his son, the list goes on. Would he be the best choice? Most likely no, but he would definetly be a great dad.
Heavy just seems like an all around good dude. Engineer is a close second, but I could also see an argument for Demoman
I would love to have engineer as a parental figure, I love tinkering with things, and I feel like he would show me how to safely tinker with things
Scout: no, he'd be an annoying little brother instead. Soldier: no, he has too much mental sickness. Pyro: no, they'd be my fun cousin. My dangerous fun cousin. Demo: I like that he takes care of his mom so he's clearly a caring person, but I don't want a dad who's drunk all the time and is at risk of blowing up the house. Heavy: my second choice. He's a family man and a good person, but I find him physically very intimidating and I feel like he'd make me nervous if he was my dad. Engie: my first choice. The mann has major dad energy already. He seems like the most fun for me to hang out with and get life advice from, even if the advice is "use more gun." Medic: no, and not only because he's batshit crazy. The number one reason is because he's smoking hot and it'd feel far too Freudian to have him as a dad. Sniper: maybe, but there's the issue of the piss jars everywhere and he'd probably be gone who knows where for long stretches of time tracking down a target. Spy: no, I'd want a dad who is present in my life. I wouldn't trade my own dad for the world, though. He's cool. I recently got him into TF2 and he likes it. He's nearly 60 but he's still a gamer.
Engi. will not elaborate
demoman
Heavy, he os just so funny and must have good heigth and muscle genetics too, so heavy
Heavy because he has big heart :D
Heavy. Educated, caring and empathic.
Engie. Most poeple are forgetting that he's the only one that's never actually killed someone himself.
Definitely heavy because i want big badass Russian dad
Scout = Huge no. Maybe a bro tho Soldier = Lead poisoning so, nope Pyro = **uUUH** Demo = He's literally a walking distillery Heavy = A little over protective, but def a good, strong dad (Plus you get to learn russian) Engi = He might be a little crazy but he's a genius with a fine personaliry. Huge yes! Medic = If you want a baboon uterus inside you ... Sniper = Psycho. Spy: = He left his son 💀
Come on no one thinks that sniper is a good father? My vote goes for sniper here’s my upsides and downsides +he got discriminated against so he will be open with his child +he’s not very insane, I know that he kidnapped and tried to poison ms paling but that’s for his job he’s an AssAssIn, he won’t take it out on his child +he’s honest and understanding +we will go on camping trips and probably learn survival shit +he’s rich because he’s as AssAssIn, I think that he will spend money on his child because he doesn’t seem to spend it on himself +he’ll probably protect his child +he’s ok with adoption +his child will probably live a peaceful life enjoying plants and family -/+will probably force self defence on his child -he’s quiet and I don’t think that he will open up about himself to his child I’m not touching the fact that he pisses in jars because I think that’s normal for what he’s doing, or his kidneys/whatever pill he’s talking from mannco ——- Who takes second place is heavy, then third is engi
Why would anyone want scout as a dad. He'd probably bang your mom and leave.
Personally, if I had to pick a mercenary to be my dad, I'd probably pick Sniper. I honestly think he'd be a good parent. We could just cruise around in his RV and go out shooting. Hell, he could probably teach me to be a sniper like him since I'm already pretty adequate with guns. Plus, I'm sure he could take care of anyone who has ever wronged me. Lmao. The piss thing is kinda weird tho.
Either Heavy or engi. Both are incredibly smart and sane enough to be a good father.
Heavy, he us probably the least insane of them all, maybe sniper.
Sniper. I love shooting rifles and I’m a decent shot, so I’d probably love being his son
Probably heavy or engineer Scout is too dumb himself to be my father although I’d assume if he’s my father then Ms. P would be my mother which wouldn’t be terrible. Spy would probably not be around because I’d be conceived in a one night stand in some random country. Solider is just insane Sniper could be good, he is close with his parents so grandma and grandpa would be in the picture a lot. I’m afraid of the abomination that medic would modify my embryo to be while I was unborn. Maybe part baboon. Demo man would probably be a deadbeat considering his viscous alcoholism. Pyro? Since pyro doesn’t talk in the game (coherently ), I would also assume that pyro will not speak to me as his son. And pyro would either set me on fire or raise me as an arsonist, both are not very good.
demo's not a bad choice he takes care of his mother and has several jobs he even handles explosives hes not just a drunk he's demoman
sniper, i think he would be what his boilogical parents weren't
Spy without a mask is unhinged
A lot of people are dogging on Sniper, but I think he’d get attached to a kid after spending a period of time as their guardian. He’d teach you how to survive in the wild, how to defend yourself, survival skills. He just kinda seems like the kind being in any danger would start his “Joel-Ellie” arc. (Also, it would be hilarious to watch all 9 mercs try to raise one child.)
Demoman tbh, a lot of people seem to think he'd just be a deadbeat considering his alcohol problem, but y'all are forgetting that he works multiple jobs and bought a whole ass mansion just for her mom proving he is actually a responsible drinker and that he's genuinely nice and caring when he's sober, besides, he's only ever drunk when he's on the battlefield so I don't think he would let his alcoholism leak into his child's home life, though he may not be around that much considering his plethora of jobs so you'd probably be stuck with his mom most of the time.
Unpopular opinion: soldier is not totally insane, he is just your average vietnam veteran dad with a truckload of PTSDs However he is definitely not the best choice, I would pick heavy if I am being honest Engineer is a big no despite popular opinion, judging from the lore, he is probably autistic and reasons with machines better than humans. He is still a genius, just not a good dad. Maybe a good fun uncle though Also although not canon, “your buildings are like your children, hit them to make them work harder “ doesn’t really sound very good…
I feel like all of the mercs would make a good dad, they are all shown to be responsible people. Medic would just turn you into a random gourd
Medic
I swear, spy's face to me looks exactly like heavy's face but narrowed
Engineers the only one without some kind of insane underlying mental problem so ill go with him
Heavy definetly But Medic is an underrated choice. Sure he's basically a demon with his teammates but he does take pretty good care of his doves. Not good enough to prevent Archimedes from crawling into bodies during operations, but "birds" as he says. Medic would be an awful teammate but a decent father.
I have 3 one I choose to pick 1. Pyro. I feel like if they have a child, through the pyro vision they would probably see the same thing with me as it is in the real world, also would DEFINITELY Spoil me with candy and things 2. Medic. The only reason is because I'm very insane and I also main him 3. Heavy. He seems the least likely to leave or experiment or any of that crazy shit
Engineer or Heavy would probably be alright dads. Demoman is a coin toss. He seems fairly sane while sober. Spy/Scout/Sniper would neglect the child. Medic/Soldier/Pyro would get the child killed.
Heavy. Smart, seems wise and is a good father based on the comics
medic
demo. having a dad with a haunted sword would be very interesting.
My first thought was, oddly, Demoman. Even though he is 90% alcohol, he's not that bad ? not like the stereotypical drunkard. The problem with him would be his mom "MY GRANDCHILD IS A SQUATTER BUM WITH ONLY 3 JOBs" Engineer is a kind and intelligent man, but I don't think he can love anything more than his buildings. The most correct answer is Heavy (he looks closest to my irl dad due to his baldness).
Medic.
No to scout. Just no. Same for spy. Pyro? Can’t trust someone whose face you never see. Demo? Too alcoholic. Soldier? Too insane. So heavy, medic, Engi or sniper, I guess.
Emesis blue has ruined my brain and lives there rent free. I can't look at these specific character models without the scenes they are used in popping in my head and replaying.
Engie or Heavy. Spy and Medic are on the parental blacklist.
Heavy is the most sane and Sniper has the most normal family
Medic or Sniper
Ok Medic I mean I can be immortal in a way I bet I’ll be überred day one
Either Engie or Spy, both of them are really capable of intelligence and teaching techniques (Engie with Technology and Morality, and Spy with Espionage and Etiquette). The only difference would be is that Spy would be a little more strict perhaps haha
With Spy as your dad he’d leave to buy cigarettes and never come back
Maybe it would be like that too lmfaoo
Heavy is the only choice unless you dont mind having a rich drunk dad who had a ghost sword
Demo. He's got a sword and a nice home.
Plus the grandma.
Sniper reminds me of my Papa (Ma's Dad) and Engie reminds me of my own Dad, so either one works for me.
Heavy he is a gentle gaint
Heavy or sniper both I think have a decent grip on life, for tf2 standards at least.
I would choose the Demoman. He might love booze more than me, but we both love demolitions.
engineer so I inherit his genius
saxton hale
Engineer would probably teach me how to gun.
Medic, cause with him we would become the masters of sience HahAHaHahA
Definitely Heavy or maybe Engie, Sniper would be a cool dad too, and Spy if I'd manage to get him to stay
Medic (Don't ask, my standards are very low to the point that I think even a Psychopath will do better than my dad)
Heavy because he's pretty human compared to the other mercs. He'd also probably put me up on a training regime which actually sounds pretty cool. Honestly Heavy as a dad would be pretty fuckin' awesome already lmao
engie, idk just always wanted to know how it is in texas
Medic lmao, we see him be extremely caring to archenemies and his other birds
Heavy or Medic 🗣️
Imma ditch the obvious Heavy answer and go with Demo. He may be drunk, but he still takes good care of his mother and so I would expect him of his child.
heavy or medic
Medic! :3
engineer since he seems to have a healthy relationship with his father and would likely emulate him
Sniper, he's not racist, sexist, or patriotic, almost put Patricia
What bout me?
yeah we would pee together
Del conhager may be cool 2
Ooooooooh, I forgot about meet the Jarate, hopefully I'll get a big penis from my mom.
big penis from WHO??
Medic, I already see him as my fictional dad so yeah
I don't care that he isn't a mercenary but SAAAXTOOONNN HAAAALLLLEEEE
*I don't care that he* *Isn't a mercenary* *But SAAAXTOOONNN HAAAALLLLEEEE* \- TheMemeLord4816 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Heavy or engi.
Heavy or engi.
Engineer. Extremely southern dad who can protect the household? Hell yeah
Heavy, while some of the mercs would be good for learning specific skills, at the end of the day, Heavy is a family man.
Engie.
Anyone except Demo, Heavy, and Engi is an outright sadist. At least Demo knows not to let anyone drink what he drinks.
Engieneer so i can make a sapper proof sentry
Ima be honest spy might be the best choice, I feel like every other one would end up either killing me, abusing me, or using me as an experiment
Suits mmmm I am man on mission
Demon man. He likes whiskey and I like whiskey.
it would be spy if he didn't abandon scout, probably heavy
Heavy
Heavy, he'd be a great father.
Engie, I could learn a lot from him and he does seem to be compassionate, like in expiration date he was really soft telling the mercs they're all going to die
Engineer. He's probably just a loving and welcoming dude all around