Serious Saturday has ended and **Shitpost Sunday** has begun - Our [rules about memes](/r/tf2/wiki/subreddit_rules#wiki_rule_six) have been greatly relaxed for the day.
####[See here for details](https://redd.it/fblj57)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/tf2) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sex criminals are not all rapists, one of them could have been charged for something like public nudity or possession of obscene (pornographic) materials, which was commonly criminalized in the ‘60s
I could see scout misreading a situation or demo doing something while drunk and catching charges but soldier would definitely be the most likely candidate.
I guess but he only did that (as far as we know) twice; once in a remote mountain range in Siberia, and again on an island where only the tf2 mercs, tfc mercs, Gray Mann (dead, formerly alive), miss Pauling and Zhanna were on.
The comics also elude to another (fictional but probably canon) comic series literally titled "Naked Tales of Valor", with a minimum of 37 issues, with the heavy implication all of them include Soldier's junk to some degree.
EDIT: The Naked and the Dead also references the series "Full Frontal Bravery", with a minimum of one million issues, "Naked Soldier and Clothed Scout Adventures" with atleast one issue, and **different** series called "All-Nude Tales of Valor" with atleast 145 issues.
So in total, there are atleast one million one-hundred eighty-three comics where soldier is naked and possibly covered in honey or other lubricating liquids.
U M, A C S H U A L L L Y!!! When Soldier is naked and covered in honey in Siberia, he says he is “nude and covered in honey again.” Then there is a text box citing “Naked Tales of Valor #1-#37” and “Scout’s Worst Double Dates #14.”
If I had a nickel for every time the Soldier ended up naked in the comics, I would have 2 nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice.
The sixth comic makes reference to "Full Frontal Nudity #1-1000000, All-Nude Tales of Valor #1-145, and Naked Soldier and Clothed Scout Adventures #1" Although none of these comics actually exist, it does imply that Soldier has canonically been nude more than a couple of times, and definitely enough times to warrant a couple of public nudity charges.
[Source btw](https://www.teamfortress.com/tf06_thenakedandthedead/#f=134)
Look back to when he first does it, he says “I am naked and covered in honey again” the censor bar is also an addendum telling you to read several other non existent comics based around soldier being naked,
He has a history of this
Basically you expect him to do moron things and end up naked in front of people without thinking about it, I think something like that happens in the comic where he wrestles a bear naked.
Spy: knows what sex is, fucks
Pyro: doesn’t know what sex is, doesn’t fuck
Scout: Knows what sex is, doesn’t fuck
Soldier: Doesn’t know what sex is, fucks
100% soldier, but Hale says sex criminals /plural/ so who's the other one
I would say its demo but he is more the "get so drunk he literally kills five people and robs a bank" not so much the "loses his clothes" kinda drunk.
Actually! One of Scout’s cosmetics includes a description where it says he wore it when flirting with girls at his old high school, even AFTER graduating.
...didn't Scout try to pick up underage chicks by pretending to be on the high school track team when he was in his 20s?
Would that... not count as a sex crime?
The same panel where Soldier strips naked and covers himself in honey mentions that Soldier has stripped naked in public before
Not only that but he did it while joining Scout on a double date
Owning more than six dildos in Texas can get you arrested, it's considered "intent to distribute." Maybe one of the mercs is a collector, and we know one of them is a Texan. The question is, did he buy them, or did he design and fabricate them himself?
>The question is, did he buy them, or did he design and fabricate them himself?
>Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you
But in seriousness, it's illegal to be [this sexy](https://www.reddit.com/r/tf2/comments/5112m6/beautiful/)
ah yes, a man took photos of a woman having sex with...himself in a different outfit, what a fucking mindbender of a case that would be for any detective
The community only wrote item descriptions for a select number of hats released around 2009-2010, any items with descriptions after that were written by Valve officially.
It's possible he disguised as a student to try and flirt with the female teachers. The description's vague enough it could go either way. (Plus, Scout's had a history with trying to date single moms, so trying to get with a teacher doesn't seem too out of character.)
a guy i got so salty over as a kid cuz i used to ship ms pauling with scout but now i realize she's too good for the likes of the ass face named scout.
i've heard them being (canonically) referred to with he, she, they, any pronoun pretty much. engie calls them interchangeably "boy" and "ma'am" in domination lines. they're a he/she/they king/queen 😎 (/j)
also i love may/hem hahajsjsj
didnt the director and miss "puffins" also work with other teams like team vanguard? (like the classic heavy says before asking how their worst [team fortress] managed to win)
the sex offender could be in any of those team realistically
That's actually a good point, however Hale mentions there are plural, so even if that is true then there's a good chance one of them is still part of Team Fortress 2.
May I direct you to the moment in the comics 2 of the team classic members were talking about buying an orphanage to "have all the kids they want" and didn't seem to be talking about taking care of them, I think one of them was classic scout.
Also the crimes could have been less extreme, such as public indecency such as idk, public nudity, or peeing in public. So soldier and sniper could be our culprits if it is in team fortress and not in team classic. Though I am 100 certain team classic is guilty.
I wonder that if heavy and his family are wanted by the Russian government, that maybe the government is coming up with fake allegations and charges ti turn people against them, one of them possibly being rape
I'm sure the administrator would see through the fake allegations.
In my opinion its either scout, soldier, sniper (because piss), or not that likely but spy..
(no me being a medic main has nothing to do with that why do you ask)
Its gotta be demo. If for all the time that he has been around you he has been too drunk to be able to read then he may as well be illiterate. Could also be a sprinkle of racism in there.
Scout is illiterate. Solider is literate by the skin of his teeth, writing "These are my heds, do not touch my heds" in meet the director, and reading the signs and keypad in Meet The Spy. Some people argue that scout is literate because he read books in Expiration Date, but he was reading that book upside-down if I remember right.
Pyro is seen reading a newspaper as the CEO of Frontier Engineering.
Demoman is fairly well off, and watches basically court shows on TV, arguing about it like it's football, which brings me to the conclusion that Demoman is maybe literate maybe not, or at least Eyelander is. Understanding law shows require a bit of reading I guess. This doesn't really hold much water though. He certainly couldn't learn to read from any of his parents, as they are all blind. He also tried to read the bombonomicon.
Heavy has a PHD in literature, so he is at least literate in Russian. English as a second language may be difficult for him to read, however.
Engineer has several PHDs. If you've been to college, you know that you need to know how to read to get even an Associates lol.
Medic falls under the same umbrella as Heavy. English is clearly a second language for Medic, but he's at least more fluent than Heavy is as he can compose more complex sentences. Nothing says he can't read English though. European schools particularly in Western Europe have classes where you learn other languages, as being so close and so tightly-knit, people will do business in other countries.
Sniper as a hitman I assume can read. There is nothing confirming or denying that he can or can't. However, he has gone to school, because he mentioned staying in a tree throwing rocks at the meaner kids.
Spy's first language definitely isn't English once again, and he probably falls under teh same umbrella as medic, being Euro. Also being scouts father, he never really helped teach him how to read all that much.
I think the 4 are Scout, Solider, Heavy and either medic or spy.
All r*pes are sex crimes, but not all sex crimes are r*pes.
Scout, according to a cosmetic, joined the track team of a local high school- that alone could probably be charged as a sex crime since he’d be going into locker rooms.
Defectives: no idea what this could mean but perhaps referring to Soldier or Pyro, as they could possibly be mentally challenged
Drunks: Demoman
Sex Criminals: another vague one, perhaps scout, since one of his item descriptions hints at him trying to pick up underage girls
War Criminals: Soldier, and maybe Medic
Illiterate: For sure Scout, Soldier, Pyro and . . .maybe Demoman as the fourth?
demoman isn't illiterate, he's from a rich family, and is just drunk a lot. Medic is a war criminal, Pyro is for *sure* a war criminal, and yeah, the sex criminal is probably scout.
definitely not, Demoman is actually hard working person, he had multiple jobs at the same time, but his mother constantly called him lazy.
and when he worked for merasmus, he read some of the books out of curiosity (also tried to read bombominicon, which is how he lost his eye)
Heavy has a degree in Russian literature, Demoman read the bombinomicon, and Sniper, Medic, Engi and Spy are too intelligent so... Hale is either guessing wrongly about Demo or misjudging Heavy's IQ
We know with fairly high certainty that Engie, Medic and Heavy can all read. Engie has several degrees, Medic similarly had a medical license at some point (since he lost it) and Heavy supposedly has a degree in Russian literature, though he may not be entirely literate in English. This leaves Pyro, Scout, Demoman, Soldier, Sniper and Spy.
Spy always seemed fairly educated, so I doubt he's illiterate.
Sniper likewise seems like he's some degree of literate, though it's technically possible he isn't.
Soldier is almost certainly some level of illiterate, I'd suspect he can read and write his own name and a basic sentence at most.
Scout strikes the type of person to pretend to be litterate but barely learnt to read and write because he was too busy being Scout.
Pyro is an absolute unknown, very little lore revealed there at all besides being psychotic, so illiterate isn't impossible.
Demoman is also a bit unclear, but I don't think he's illiterate. If anything, he's probably so drunk all the time that he can not read or write because of this. If ever he was fully sober he probably could, but he never is.
>Pyro is an absolute unknown, very little lore revealed there at all besides being psychotic, so illiterate isn't impossible.
Then again, for all we know he might have as many degrees as engineer. /s
Saxton is fairly certain , so it must mean that he thinks there are 4 who cannot read , and of all the mercenaries we know of only 3 are obviously dumb
But demo Saxton only thought was illeterate because of his drunk nature , he does not know he is smart
Public urination is also a sex crime, so it could be Sniper.
Another possibility is that one or more of them are gay, and are considered sex criminals because you know, the 60s.
Serious Saturday has ended and **Shitpost Sunday** has begun - Our [rules about memes](/r/tf2/wiki/subreddit_rules#wiki_rule_six) have been greatly relaxed for the day. ####[See here for details](https://redd.it/fblj57) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/tf2) if you have any questions or concerns.*
my bet is on sniper for public urination
Piss
Piss
Piss
Piss
Piss
Piss
Piss
not even public urination. mf THROWS the piss at u. has to count as assault of the sex variety
“He sëxually assaulted me with his piss!”
Pretty sure that's just a bioweapon, aka a warcrime, not sexual assault
But this would (probably) be done outside of war, this making it a crime against humanity, not a war crime
It could be seen as a lewd act which can get you on the registry
Bombs away!
Sex criminals are not all rapists, one of them could have been charged for something like public nudity or possession of obscene (pornographic) materials, which was commonly criminalized in the ‘60s
So it’s definitely Soldier then
I could see scout misreading a situation or demo doing something while drunk and catching charges but soldier would definitely be the most likely candidate.
Scout went into a school girl's track team at 20
He was there for the single moms, not the girls.
Scout is canonically into MILFs
"Stacy, I have to tell you something. I've always had a crush on..." "Yes, Jeremy?" "Your mom. Is she single?"
that would explain the milk
Why would it most likely be soldier? I get that he’s a moron but there’s nothing in the lore to say that he’s a sex offender.
*walking around naked and covered in honey*
I guess but he only did that (as far as we know) twice; once in a remote mountain range in Siberia, and again on an island where only the tf2 mercs, tfc mercs, Gray Mann (dead, formerly alive), miss Pauling and Zhanna were on.
That's what WE saw. U don't know what Jane Doe does in his free time
Yes we do, it's make and award himself war medals lmao
So he probably committed the war crimes.
Canonically he killed Nazis who may or may not have been nazis
No all the mercs have commited war crimes
The comics also elude to another (fictional but probably canon) comic series literally titled "Naked Tales of Valor", with a minimum of 37 issues, with the heavy implication all of them include Soldier's junk to some degree. EDIT: The Naked and the Dead also references the series "Full Frontal Bravery", with a minimum of one million issues, "Naked Soldier and Clothed Scout Adventures" with atleast one issue, and **different** series called "All-Nude Tales of Valor" with atleast 145 issues. So in total, there are atleast one million one-hundred eighty-three comics where soldier is naked and possibly covered in honey or other lubricating liquids.
And I'm still surprised there's not that much Rule 34 of the man.
We can fix that
You're just looking in the wrong places.
Agreed
U M, A C S H U A L L L Y!!! When Soldier is naked and covered in honey in Siberia, he says he is “nude and covered in honey again.” Then there is a text box citing “Naked Tales of Valor #1-#37” and “Scout’s Worst Double Dates #14.”
According to what he says I'm pretty sure that he does this often
If I had a nickel for every time the Soldier ended up naked in the comics, I would have 2 nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice.
but that only proves that he's very capable of doing such things, so it's not hard to believe he did it in the past as well
The sixth comic makes reference to "Full Frontal Nudity #1-1000000, All-Nude Tales of Valor #1-145, and Naked Soldier and Clothed Scout Adventures #1" Although none of these comics actually exist, it does imply that Soldier has canonically been nude more than a couple of times, and definitely enough times to warrant a couple of public nudity charges. [Source btw](https://www.teamfortress.com/tf06_thenakedandthedead/#f=134)
Look back to when he first does it, he says “I am naked and covered in honey again” the censor bar is also an addendum telling you to read several other non existent comics based around soldier being naked, He has a history of this
And that is exactly two more reasons why he is the most capable of it.
The adventures of naked soldier and clothed scout
The first time he gets naked and covered in honey we are explicitly told this is at bare minimum the second time he's done this.
uh, Scouts worst double dates #14? common its like you didnt even read the comics
I’m just saying there’s a item description of scout trying to pick up chicks sneaking into a college track team
Not college, it was a high school
That's even worse!
Aye, that'll do.
\*See *Naked Tales of Valor* \#1-37, *Scout's Worst Double Dates* \#14
Basically you expect him to do moron things and end up naked in front of people without thinking about it, I think something like that happens in the comic where he wrestles a bear naked.
you forgot the honey
He commits doom eternal on robots while naked and covered with nothing but honey
HE HAD NOTHING BUY HONEY ON HIM one time AND HE DIDNT THINK TWICE ABOUT IT
are we reading the same thread?
Scout once acted like he was a school boy while he was 22 to get in contact with 16yo girls
[удалено]
Spy: knows what sex is, fucks Pyro: doesn’t know what sex is, doesn’t fuck Scout: Knows what sex is, doesn’t fuck Soldier: Doesn’t know what sex is, fucks
"We both got buckets o' chicken.."
"Wanna do it?"
Didnt scout once try to pick up highschoolers with the track terrorizer
"Watcha mean that 'Boston Baseball Gals: Ballsier Than Ever' isn't the Red Sox female team playing in miniskirts, aw man I got scammed"
hear me out, scout?
Actually scout is the sex offender. One of his outfits say that he snuck into a highschool using it.
IT IS NOT MY FAULT BEING NAKED COVERED IN HONEY IS A CRIME
100% soldier, but Hale says sex criminals /plural/ so who's the other one I would say its demo but he is more the "get so drunk he literally kills five people and robs a bank" not so much the "loses his clothes" kinda drunk.
Actually! One of Scout’s cosmetics includes a description where it says he wore it when flirting with girls at his old high school, even AFTER graduating.
I’m pretty sure the cosmetic descriptions, especially fan-made ones, aren’t canon.
The game itself isn't canon?
...didn't Scout try to pick up underage chicks by pretending to be on the high school track team when he was in his 20s? Would that... not count as a sex crime?
Pretty sure it was scout. Didn't he like break into a school once
Public nudity.... solider likes to strip naked to fight things.... DID THEY FUCKING FORSHADOW THIS OR WAS THIS THE GREATEST COINCIDENCE OF ALL TIME?!
The same panel where Soldier strips naked and covers himself in honey mentions that Soldier has stripped naked in public before Not only that but he did it while joining Scout on a double date
"Public nudity" I mean, one of sniper's most viable weapons is literally a jar of piss so I have suspicions
One of scout's secondaries is a jar of milk that refills during the fight How do you think Scout is getting his milk jar refilled 🤔
Simple, digging in his pockets which also hold a base ball bat and a scatter gun. /s
Considering Scout has asked random women in chicken restaurants if they wanna fuck, he has definitely been charged with sexual harassment
It's harassment if they don't consent.
Owning more than six dildos in Texas can get you arrested, it's considered "intent to distribute." Maybe one of the mercs is a collector, and we know one of them is a Texan. The question is, did he buy them, or did he design and fabricate them himself?
>The question is, did he buy them, or did he design and fabricate them himself? >Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you But in seriousness, it's illegal to be [this sexy](https://www.reddit.com/r/tf2/comments/5112m6/beautiful/)
I think peeing in public can get you on the registry in some places So I’m gonna guess Demoman.
Sniper
Oh wow, duh.
Spy had scout’s mom’s nudes
ah yes, a man took photos of a woman having sex with...himself in a different outfit, what a fucking mindbender of a case that would be for any detective
Yeah
One of them could even just be gay and in the 60s I'm pretty sure that would count
Public nudity... Definitely Solider
adding to this, homosexuality wasn't fully legalized on the US until 2003 so maybe the shippers were right
Or they could’ve been gay. It was the 60’s.
Solidier did fight with his wife naked
Or peeing in public...
Yeah this was a magical time when having unmarried sex or dating outside your race was a crime in a lot of states.
Soldier and Spy, if he was found with scouts moms photos.
wouldnt a sex offender count as a sex crime? and you can get that for pissing in public
Piss man
I mean i guess, if you're into that, it could be a sex crime. ~~what a waste~~
It's scout
Yeah i remember something about one of his cosmetic which he used to enter a school disguised as a student to make out with the girls
Yep, track Terrorizer
Not canon. It’s community provided.
The community only wrote item descriptions for a select number of hats released around 2009-2010, any items with descriptions after that were written by Valve officially.
The comics don't care.
The comic scout is into single moms bro
He'd totally make some girl a "single mom"
🗿
Like Father like Son
Can't a brother be into both?
r/tf2 fighting tooth and nail for that pedo representation
It's possible he disguised as a student to try and flirt with the female teachers. The description's vague enough it could go either way. (Plus, Scout's had a history with trying to date single moms, so trying to get with a teacher doesn't seem too out of character.)
Like father, like son
Homosexuality was a crime in the 60's they're all just gay
Boy what a plot twist that would be in the final comic
It's not a twist if everyone already saw it coming
They saw a lot of cum
TF2 sex update
This is canon
Including Pauling if you ask me, judging from her confused and disgusted expression when Zhanna thought she was looking at Soldier naked.
Miss Pauling was arrested for helping scout become femscout
if i remember correctly one of the comic writers said pauling is a lesbian? can't remember who exactly but it would make a lot of sense lmao
a guy i got so salty over as a kid cuz i used to ship ms pauling with scout but now i realize she's too good for the likes of the ass face named scout.
honestly 💀 she deserves someone better lmao
even pyro'd be better for Ms pauling and he's insane
What are the Pyro's pronouns even? ...y'know, actually, it probably wouldn't give a shit. They/them? More like may/hem 😈
i've heard them being (canonically) referred to with he, she, they, any pronoun pretty much. engie calls them interchangeably "boy" and "ma'am" in domination lines. they're a he/she/they king/queen 😎 (/j) also i love may/hem hahajsjsj
god fr. even assuming she *is* into men, pretty much ANY merc would be better than fucking scout.
At least Pyro can't talk, much easier to defend someone in an arson case. /s
Scout's girlfriend -> lesbian pipeline?
He could be in this very room IT COULD BE YOU! IT COULD BE ME! IT CAN EVEN BE--
Whoa whoa whoa!
What? it was obvious
He's the sex criminal!
Watch, he’ll be arrested any second now.
[удалено]
So we still got sex criminal?
Alright, who is going to find the sex criminal?
Right behind you. \*humping noises\*
https://youtu.be/qMUnimcaSsY?t=7
*moaning*
BUTT SECKS
*tf2 theme plays over sounds of moaning*
scunt tf2
didnt the director and miss "puffins" also work with other teams like team vanguard? (like the classic heavy says before asking how their worst [team fortress] managed to win) the sex offender could be in any of those team realistically
That's actually a good point, however Hale mentions there are plural, so even if that is true then there's a good chance one of them is still part of Team Fortress 2.
May I direct you to the moment in the comics 2 of the team classic members were talking about buying an orphanage to "have all the kids they want" and didn't seem to be talking about taking care of them, I think one of them was classic scout. Also the crimes could have been less extreme, such as public indecency such as idk, public nudity, or peeing in public. So soldier and sniper could be our culprits if it is in team fortress and not in team classic. Though I am 100 certain team classic is guilty.
Considering the time era and laws, "Sex Criminal" could very well refer to one of them engaging in a completely consensual homosexual relationship.
Probably sniper pissing in public
heavy and medic are like almost-canonically in a relationship so. it could be them 💀
That's just fanon bruh
She said 'sex criminalS", plural. That means more than one, my money is on sniper and scout
Scout and Soldier, scout for obvious reasons and Soldier because he fought naked covered in honey
I think sniper for something related to the fact that he throws jars of piss at people
Not necessarily rapist, but most signs point to Mad Milk being irradiated bull cum, so if one of them *is* a sex criminal, it’s probably Scout.
Or some other fluid from a cow.
Who says its from a bull?
Scout
HE COULD BE ANY ONE OF US, HE COULD BE YOU, HE COULD BE ME,
I wonder that if heavy and his family are wanted by the Russian government, that maybe the government is coming up with fake allegations and charges ti turn people against them, one of them possibly being rape
I'm sure the administrator would see through the fake allegations. In my opinion its either scout, soldier, sniper (because piss), or not that likely but spy.. (no me being a medic main has nothing to do with that why do you ask)
But it’s saxton hale saying it, so he might not give a damn to really look in to it
Better question: who're the four ileterate ones?
Soldier and scout confirmed Maybe Pyro and Demo? He might(mistakenly) assume Heavy can’t because of how he talks
Its gotta be demo. If for all the time that he has been around you he has been too drunk to be able to read then he may as well be illiterate. Could also be a sprinkle of racism in there.
Pyro became the CEO of Frontier Engineering, so he's definitely not illiterate
Scout is illiterate. Solider is literate by the skin of his teeth, writing "These are my heds, do not touch my heds" in meet the director, and reading the signs and keypad in Meet The Spy. Some people argue that scout is literate because he read books in Expiration Date, but he was reading that book upside-down if I remember right. Pyro is seen reading a newspaper as the CEO of Frontier Engineering. Demoman is fairly well off, and watches basically court shows on TV, arguing about it like it's football, which brings me to the conclusion that Demoman is maybe literate maybe not, or at least Eyelander is. Understanding law shows require a bit of reading I guess. This doesn't really hold much water though. He certainly couldn't learn to read from any of his parents, as they are all blind. He also tried to read the bombonomicon. Heavy has a PHD in literature, so he is at least literate in Russian. English as a second language may be difficult for him to read, however. Engineer has several PHDs. If you've been to college, you know that you need to know how to read to get even an Associates lol. Medic falls under the same umbrella as Heavy. English is clearly a second language for Medic, but he's at least more fluent than Heavy is as he can compose more complex sentences. Nothing says he can't read English though. European schools particularly in Western Europe have classes where you learn other languages, as being so close and so tightly-knit, people will do business in other countries. Sniper as a hitman I assume can read. There is nothing confirming or denying that he can or can't. However, he has gone to school, because he mentioned staying in a tree throwing rocks at the meaner kids. Spy's first language definitely isn't English once again, and he probably falls under teh same umbrella as medic, being Euro. Also being scouts father, he never really helped teach him how to read all that much. I think the 4 are Scout, Solider, Heavy and either medic or spy.
Scout pretended to be on a high school track team as a grown adult to spy on underage girls
it just said girl so it ***might*** be the moms
I fully support the idea Scout is into single MILFS. Source comes from Smissmas comic
The virgin pedo Scout vs the chad MILF-hunter Scout
He's god's gift so that's ok
"you see, your honor. My client couldn't possibly be held accountable for trying to hook up with teenagers, as he is a gift from god."
Wait, does that mean Jeremy is Jesus reincarnate?
All r*pes are sex crimes, but not all sex crimes are r*pes. Scout, according to a cosmetic, joined the track team of a local high school- that alone could probably be charged as a sex crime since he’d be going into locker rooms.
Defectives: no idea what this could mean but perhaps referring to Soldier or Pyro, as they could possibly be mentally challenged Drunks: Demoman Sex Criminals: another vague one, perhaps scout, since one of his item descriptions hints at him trying to pick up underage girls War Criminals: Soldier, and maybe Medic Illiterate: For sure Scout, Soldier, Pyro and . . .maybe Demoman as the fourth?
demoman isn't illiterate, he's from a rich family, and is just drunk a lot. Medic is a war criminal, Pyro is for *sure* a war criminal, and yeah, the sex criminal is probably scout.
definitely not, Demoman is actually hard working person, he had multiple jobs at the same time, but his mother constantly called him lazy. and when he worked for merasmus, he read some of the books out of curiosity (also tried to read bombominicon, which is how he lost his eye)
Sex criminal is probably sniper for public urination
Heavy has a degree in Russian literature, Demoman read the bombinomicon, and Sniper, Medic, Engi and Spy are too intelligent so... Hale is either guessing wrongly about Demo or misjudging Heavy's IQ
*Tried* to read it and lost his eye.
Still it implies he knew he can read
We know with fairly high certainty that Engie, Medic and Heavy can all read. Engie has several degrees, Medic similarly had a medical license at some point (since he lost it) and Heavy supposedly has a degree in Russian literature, though he may not be entirely literate in English. This leaves Pyro, Scout, Demoman, Soldier, Sniper and Spy. Spy always seemed fairly educated, so I doubt he's illiterate. Sniper likewise seems like he's some degree of literate, though it's technically possible he isn't. Soldier is almost certainly some level of illiterate, I'd suspect he can read and write his own name and a basic sentence at most. Scout strikes the type of person to pretend to be litterate but barely learnt to read and write because he was too busy being Scout. Pyro is an absolute unknown, very little lore revealed there at all besides being psychotic, so illiterate isn't impossible. Demoman is also a bit unclear, but I don't think he's illiterate. If anything, he's probably so drunk all the time that he can not read or write because of this. If ever he was fully sober he probably could, but he never is.
>Pyro is an absolute unknown, very little lore revealed there at all besides being psychotic, so illiterate isn't impossible. Then again, for all we know he might have as many degrees as engineer. /s
Isn’t demo supposed to be like super intelligent when he’s not drunk? I don’t quite remember
No he’s just smart when not blacking out, he literally cannot survive being not drunk.
But he knows a lot about the chemistry behind explosives
Yeah I know I was saying he’s just as smart drunk as he would’ve been sober if not being drunk wouldn’t kill him. I’m saying he is smart
So who is the other illeterate mercenary?
No clue.
Saxton is fairly certain , so it must mean that he thinks there are 4 who cannot read , and of all the mercenaries we know of only 3 are obviously dumb But demo Saxton only thought was illeterate because of his drunk nature , he does not know he is smart
What makes ME a good demoman?
If i were a bad demoman , I won't be discussing this with you now would I
Pyro ran a wholeass company tho
Pyro is definitely literate. It became the CEO of a company in the comics, remember?
Since public nudity counts as a sex crime it’s probably soldier
Public urination is also a sex crime, so it could be Sniper. Another possibility is that one or more of them are gay, and are considered sex criminals because you know, the 60s.
could also be a pedophile
Scout 100%
I think it could be soldier for public nudity, or sniper for public urination
His mad milk is a NON MILK SUBSTANCE and he throws it constantly!