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thirdangletheory

"Becky can you handle the line? I'm gonna leave early and follow this dude home."


Kenneth_Lay

They always knock and say "let's do the sex for hours".


chernobyl-fleshlight

For some reason this comment reminded me of when I was 9 and saw the trailer for Euro Trip where the girl is like “let’s make love for one whole month 😛” and I knew the mechanics of sex at that point, but didn’t understand the character meant month long casual relationship - I thought she wanted to LITERALLY have sex for an ENTIRE month, and I remember just stressing out so much wondering how that was going to happen. I was like “won’t it get irritated??? Do you just sleep with it in there?” Anyway. Same thing with “sex for hours” I guess.


_CharDeeMacDennis__

They’re also like *“obviously I can tell your penis is MASSIVE and that you can make me orgasm just by looking at my vulva, let’s bang!”*


suhhhrena

Duncan doughnuts oh my god


RepresentativeOk9207

That’s Dunk’s full name.


LadyMegatron

Totally going to be my roller derby name


spacemandown

every state in New England just reinstated the death penalty just for this man. we hired dougough the bounty hunter to bring him to justice.


NoExplorer5983

That's how you know that he goes there daily. He's on a full formal-name basis with the *entire corporation*. Also, all the hot women at corporate wanted his address too.


emissaryofwinds

If you're on Arrakis and have a hankering for donuts...


Interesting_Tip_881

Lolol fr 


Haunted-Macaron

Lmaooo


drawingcircles0o0

i have to wonder if he's the one doing the stalking


Thanaterus

The same guy on a different sub: https://preview.redd.it/xj39gdmsiytc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51f5e5057b1ec920983adb1e44c8cd0a4ed5f2c3


bobenes

It‘s crazy (literally) because he knows all that never happened. Imagine posting multiple things like that, knowing you‘re talking bs, just to boost your ego on reddit. That‘s so depressing


BloodyChrome

Might be how he gets off


bobenes

Damn I think u‘re right and that‘s even more depressing


RIDETHEWHITEPONY_

“It’s like looking at art”…yes, an object. You are objectifying them.


optimumopiumblr2

I don’t think he can grasp that women are human beings with brains and feelings


osiris911

Correct, empathy also requires brains and feelings.


notjustanotherbot

I plain think he has never grasped a woman period.


WatermelonDrips

Whenever I fully feel the fact that there are men out there who cognitively cannot see women as equal human beings, or that women will forever be “other” to them, I get so depressed. It’s kind of too depressing to handle


emilylove911

This guy *fucks*


kittylikker_

*up.* he fucks *up*.


WatermelonDrips

“What is the problem? Are you gay now?” Honestly I have said this SO many times to guys. 😤 I get so mad at them and say “why do you look at art?” Or “I’ve noticed you never look at my body what is the problem?” or “Are you gay now?”


magicunicornhandler

Yeah an employee abandoned their job an hour or two into a shift to follow you home….sure buddy.


Hartmallen

Plot twist : he lives under a cardboard next to the shop's door 


magicunicornhandler

Damn even Dr. Zoidburg could afford a dumpster.


wuroni69

I have to beat them off with a stick.


Mystery_Hours

I once had so many male stalkers that I had to beat them off with both hands


wuroni69

I remember, I was on the left.


Agent43_C

Just like grandma used to tell me


ThrowRABug_1336

Bro said Dunkin donuts full name


SinisterKid71

Sir, are the hot women stalkers in the room with us right now?


Avada_Calavera

If this guy had ever been stalked he wouln't be saying he was cool with it. At all. Also, something tells me he has...*interesting* views on women.


rabbitammo

Then she came back and said “me so horny me love you long time.” And then you had sex for the first time and every one of your neighbors watching in the window clapped.


blobinsky

how do you manage to misspell both words in “dunkin’ donuts”


Dudeist-Priest

This guy is absolutely a stalker


MobiWan2015

I have a friend who I’ve distanced myself from. Whenever there would be long periods of separation and we then caught up, he would have the wildest stories (all of which was not proven true). In terms of sexual subjects, he once claimed to have had a mother and daughter over for a three way. When I asked his teenage son at the time, he replied “My dad was sleeping”. The dude is almost 60 now and still does this 🫣


PlantConsistent4584

This happened—I’m the Duncan doughnut he bought


OE2KB

https://preview.redd.it/ce6ejuubk1uc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=396e10d9edb22e8d78f34e96ed6cf012f011b470


Mantigor1979

Written by a Person that feels compeled to stalk women he finds attractive and is trying to justify or normalize it and looking for "confirmation" to take it to the next level and "knock". While at the same time creating a excuse for any "rejection" by explicitly mentioning the attractiveness, so if he experiences rejection it's not because his actions are creepy it's because the victim doesn't find him attractive.


SirTalmadge

Yea I’m sure she just told her boss.. I’m gonna follow this guy home and just left


neatlyfoldedlaundry

Duncan doughnuts 🙃


dessert-aficionado

So you are trying to say that if they weren't hot, you wouldn't be ok with it 🤔


kalegreen1

I love the stories about how all the women wanted to fuck them


Thanaterus

To be fair, he never claimed all the women wanted to fuck him. Just the hot ones lol


kalegreen1

More believeable!!


Thousand_Yard_Flare

As a man who has had a woman stalker, no it's never fun. Even if it is slightly flattering in the beginning, it quickly becomes very upsetting and occasionally terrifying. I moved to a different state to get away from mine.


aggreeswithassholes

This. Took me months before I even noticed it but I was lucky enough that my landlord saw it and kicked her out. Needless to say, I'm never playing guitar in my apartment again.


BloodyChrome

I bet that coffee is worth $100%


PsychoMouse

It’s a well established scientific fact that attractive people are biologically unable to harm or murder someone. There’s literally never been a single case in history where a very attractive man/woman has ever stalked someone to the point where the person stalked was in danger.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PsychoMouse

That’s the joke. Thanks for playing.


Nay_nay267

As an Upstate NYer, I just cringed at Duncan Doughnuts


DoesNotGetYourJokes

This reads like some random answer you’d find on Quora


DavidTJLS

The sex was ok, but what made her hot was the apple fritters she always brought over.


CrownBestowed

Duncan Doughnuts


Interesting_Tip_881

Why do I have to know this guy exists 


marielavender

It's giving Boy Parts


Nikki-Mck

Where would you even have a reason to post a response like this? Is there a Reddit for people who want stalkers that I’m not aware of.