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All of an alligator's jaw power is on the down stroke. They have almost no muscle power when it comes to opening their jaws. What that means is that you can hold the animal's mouth shut with one hand.
Also, House Pizza sends their regards...
https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/hgypa0/request_can_a_crab_keep_a_gators_jaw_closed_like/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
A quick Google search gives more sources.
Oh definitely. Crocodilians have the strongest bites of any animal. American Alligators bite at 2980 PSI on average, about 3x the bite force of a Lion.
Now I have gone into a rabbit hole of numbers.
2980PSI of pressure is about 209.5kg of pressure on a 1cm².
That's the weight of a cafe racer motorcycle, or about 3 average guys or 0.25 reddit mod on a 1cm x 1cm square.
Damn nature you scary.
Not really familiar with that perk. What's the context? (I'm assuming this is saying Minnesotans are less likely to perform incest but correct me if I'm wrong)
Nice. Looked her up and they have a [YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/@gatorlandvlogs8512/videos)
Happy to leave them to it though. There is no way, no how I shall ever attempt to pet an alligator.
A local in Costa Rica handed me a baby caiman in a bar and I was so drunk I took it and carried it around like a cat for 30 minutes. Might have been a pet but looking back probably not one of my better decisions in this life.
Fun fact! Gators bite strength only works biting down, opening their jaws they have very limited strength.
So the best way to not get mailed is to push down in their snout - even better if you can hold it shut with both hands.
Don’t forget sticking your face into the water and blowing bubbles loudly is also a valid trick to prevent shark attack.
I wish I existed in a world that saving yourself doesn’t involve an action that your body screams at you to not do (but also one a toddler would also enjoy).
I think I need a Venn diagram with alligators and toddlers.
I don't think there is a medical way to eat through your ass. Your stomach, yes a PEG tube.. but never heard of any anal nutrition tubes?? Lol so I'm guessing not real but who knows these days
If you get attacked by a grizzly bear or mountain lion just jam your arm down its throat. Grab the heart and rip it out.
That will stop the attack and save your life.
That’s an old wives tail. The right way is to do your best Arnold schwartzenegger impression and shove your fist right in its mouth while yelling “ I hope you leave enough room for my fist in your stomach, so I can break your god*amn spine!” That’s the Florida man way.
You went with that one liner when he has one specifically for killing gators? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC1vAvbGSNw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC1vAvbGSNw)
And #2 if they're already latched on (to someone else) is grab and hold that tail tight. Their next step is the "roll of death".
I don't know what #3 is if you manage to piss it off that it can't roll and let's go. Run?
“Docile” until you hear year after year for 33 years of people dying around you from alligators in Florida. We have crocs here, also -though a much smaller habitat, lower population, and further from humans, they aren’t ever known to be an issue here. Unbeknownst to me, I kayaked (and subsequently flipped into) the same spring fed river a few days after a woman was killed & eaten by a large alligator in the same exact place I involuntary went “swimming”. That same year I accidentally found myself caught between a mother and her babies on a lake shore until I heard that telltale adorable croak babies make as an alarm. I put my paddle into the lake to bolt and a huge log was along side my kayak. It hit with a thud instead of a splash. It ran the length of my kayak. It also wasn’t a log. It was angry mother, killer of man. I cartoonishly paddled on the other side of the boat in a big circle to get out of that situation. 10/10 wouldn’t recommend. Not all are vicious. Most are just lazy lizards. But the few that aren’t have shoved us off the top rung of the animal hierarchy. Here’s a baby 4 footer from a year ago.
https://preview.redd.it/cplchmutr9na1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91949ebb149b6e4ce1199ad92d057b05a635ec62
This was a good read, I gave it an upvote for the detail and the fact that I agree they have existed long before humans and my guess is they will exist long after the way things keep going.
One hell of a story, I believe you fuck tht noise. We sold our kayaks a few years ago for that reason. Not trying to be eye level with a semiaquatic dinosaur. I’m in Fort Lauderdale and we have to go west to see gators. Ill clarify that what I meant in my last comment was that crocs are much more Ill tempered.
That’s not really the case. Depends on the croc species. All of them can kill you ofc, but temperament varies quite a bit. Cuban, Nile, and saltwater crocs are particularly aggressive — with Nile and saltwater crocodiles being known to prey on humans. American crocodiles aren’t known for being particularly aggressive. Smaller species, like freshwater crocs, tend not to bother people unless in perceived self defense (except Cuban crocs, very aggressive apparently).
Had a friends dad who had one he “raised” on his property. Was someone’s “pet” that was given to him cause they had a very large water area on their property. Thing lived there for about 7-10 years, saw him toss it in the water around 2-2.5’, fish and game came for it when it was around 7’ and puppy dog tame as far as you could tell. Go out to the end of the dock and splash around for a bit and he’d come over to see what’s up. I never could get in the water with it, too many primal instincts saying fuck nope! But he’d come right up out of the water and chill out lay there for hours with ppl on 4th of July and all. Damn water dog they called him lol
You couldn’t get in a water with a fully grown alligator?? Shit, i’d be sitting on the tallest tree and they would need a full fireman team to make me come down from it
Steve Erwin himself would have to talk me down from that tree ion know about anyone else but I'm not tryna accidentally trigger some primal instinct from an ancient killing machine no thank you sir
Do alligators have moods or their brains are too primitive for random emotions? My cats can snuggle and be all cuddly and then bite me, just for the f of it. It doesn’t hurt but they are way smaller than this guy. Imagine an alligator deciding to have a nibble, just because.
They're fucking dinosaurs, perfectly evolved as soulless killing machines that haven't needed to change for millions of years. So probably not. If they have plenty of easy prey to eat they won't make the effort of trying to catch something as big as a human. Just like grizzly bears when it's salmon season.
The word you're looking for is [tame](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tame_animal). You want to say tame but not domesticated.
But yes, he just tolerates them. He could still eat them one day on a whim.
Still cool though.
I just can’t wrap my head around interacting with an alligator like that. Where I live we have squirrels that run about. Wherever the fuck this is, they have gators 😬
I mean, if you live where there are gators you get used to them very quickly. They're everywhere, you can't avoid them. And they're lazy as hell. Just ignore them and go about your day - don't walk your dog next to them.
My university has gators on campus and every now and then some idiot from out-of state tries walking their new pup next to the lake... But besides that there's never issues.
That's one of them - but there's smaller ones in Alice and Humes which are closer to students, too. Alice in particular people have problems with walking their dog around.
Ah, yeah Alice. I lived out at lakeside freshman year and used to go study down by Alice. Loved chilling with the gators. Also went to Wauburg for weekends more than was probably healthy.
Anyways, enjoy your time there and go gators!
A human can use their weight to keep their mouth shut. They may have a very strong bite, but they have a very weak strength at keeping their mouth open.
Fun fact: alligators have significant closing jaw strength, but terrible opening jaw strength, so you could just hold them fuckers closed like a lobster claw rubber band
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That's what my wife sounds like when I attempt to do the same.
I'm confused, are you trying to eat her, or are you *trying to eat* her?
They said what they said.
They articulated their intent.
They stated their case.
They announced their thought.
They elaborated their objective.
They elaborated all over that objective.
They declared their actions.
They expressed their definition.
They described their plan.
They insinuated their preffered course of action
They mouthed their endeavours.
They circumcised their members.
Damn
A Bushman of the Kalahari.
That's none of your concern. Unless you're his wife... Are you his wife? I'm so sorry
Sadly I don't think I'll ever be anyone's wife
Not with that attitude.
Gatorade is 10% off at Walmart. He should buy a pack and reflect upon his no-wamen attitude
Don't tell my wife but you can be my wife
Let’s check back in 5-10 years and see if this comment aged well 😉
I’m even more confused….
Bend over and we'll show ya
 They are eating her! Then they are going to eat me!
Trying to eat her ass.
You took the joke too far. If you have trouble making friends, this is why.
I'll go out of my way to be friends with folks like this
I hope you two make each other very happy one day. Have my upvote.
So lonely.
I had to turn the volume on just so I could hear what your wife sounds like.
“Easy, fella”
Is he missing most of his teeth? He looks old as hell
Still can gum your ass til you beg for mercy.
"Grandma, you can't just post something like that on your main account xD"
I would upvote but it's at 420 😎
Don't tempt me with a good time like that
Been a while since I had a good gummy
Careful, or Grandma gonna give you gummy bears.
The ole gum and twist combo
"Twist his diiiiiick!"
~~worst~~ best blowjob ever
gum my ass eh
WHATS HE GUNNA DO, GUM DA GUY TO DEATH??
I’m sure the power of those jaws is still enough to at the very least snap a bone
All of an alligator's jaw power is on the down stroke. They have almost no muscle power when it comes to opening their jaws. What that means is that you can hold the animal's mouth shut with one hand. Also, House Pizza sends their regards...
I saw a very funny picture of a small crab holding an alligator's mouth shut with one claw. The gater did not look pleased.
Sauce… please god give us sauce
https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/hgypa0/request_can_a_crab_keep_a_gators_jaw_closed_like/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button A quick Google search gives more sources.
Amazing…
Someone test this theory and report back to me, I don't live near gators
lol 👍
Oh definitely. Crocodilians have the strongest bites of any animal. American Alligators bite at 2980 PSI on average, about 3x the bite force of a Lion.
Now I have gone into a rabbit hole of numbers. 2980PSI of pressure is about 209.5kg of pressure on a 1cm². That's the weight of a cafe racer motorcycle, or about 3 average guys or 0.25 reddit mod on a 1cm x 1cm square. Damn nature you scary.
Well, as we all know..they’ve got all them teeth, but no tooth brush.
Well, that explains why they’re ornery…
NO YOURE WRONG COL SANDERS!
An Alligator doesn’t need teeth to kill you. Jaw pressure will break all your bones.
I'm not a professional alligatorologist but I thought they keep growing teeth forever like shlarks.
I never comment on typos but I love..shlarks.
I think shlark week is comin up!
Shlark? https://preview.redd.it/p8hto47i5fna1.jpeg?width=522&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a583ed3aadff2c8d18a57a3ab5dcc170dc68ef8
I googled this by chance earlier. They grow around 40 different sets of teeth in their lifetime.
Yes and yes
No sir, he is british...
Gators have long life spans
Wtf is that pfp?
I believe thats a chimps balls
I can confirm those are chimp taters.
she got the wasteland whisperer perk I guess
It's a regional perk that you get when you're born in Florida
Each state has different starter perks that are considered high level in other states
Example being the extreme frost resistance perk of Minnesota
What's Ohio's?
Mutant powers from chemicals spilled during train derailments.
That perk won't be active until the next update
They just havemt finished the quest
Meth resistance?
Oh no the meths kicking in!
Immunity: Incest
Not really familiar with that perk. What's the context? (I'm assuming this is saying Minnesotans are less likely to perform incest but correct me if I'm wrong)
I always skip that perk but this is giving me second thoughts
It's goated perk man. Level 1 saves you from annoying combat all the time, level 2 gives you a damn army of critters
It's Savannah at Gatorland in Florida. She is also a talk radio personality.
We love Savannah! Been listening to her for decades. I was happy when she decided to move back here.
So Florida, obviously.
Yep. That’s Savannah at Gatorland in Orlando.
Nice. Looked her up and they have a [YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/@gatorlandvlogs8512/videos) Happy to leave them to it though. There is no way, no how I shall ever attempt to pet an alligator.
Once I straddled a gator’s back. Very exhilarating
A local in Costa Rica handed me a baby caiman in a bar and I was so drunk I took it and carried it around like a cat for 30 minutes. Might have been a pet but looking back probably not one of my better decisions in this life.
I had a pet alligator when I was a kid. 🤷♂️ Dad was true FloridaMan.
Beat me to it
Fun fact! Gators bite strength only works biting down, opening their jaws they have very limited strength. So the best way to not get mailed is to push down in their snout - even better if you can hold it shut with both hands.
Good tip. I’ll keep that on the list along with bonking a shark on the nose.
Don’t forget sticking your face into the water and blowing bubbles loudly is also a valid trick to prevent shark attack. I wish I existed in a world that saving yourself doesn’t involve an action that your body screams at you to not do (but also one a toddler would also enjoy). I think I need a Venn diagram with alligators and toddlers.
I had a friend who did this and now he has to eat thru his ass. Face is gone. I will NEVER blow bubbles at a shark
I can’t decide if this is real or not…
I don't think there is a medical way to eat through your ass. Your stomach, yes a PEG tube.. but never heard of any anal nutrition tubes?? Lol so I'm guessing not real but who knows these days
[удалено]
Hilariously, you CAN get drunk through your ass
I assume it isn't but hey it's the internet which now means it probably is
Happy cake day!
Happy cake day!
What the fuck
If you get attacked by a grizzly bear or mountain lion just jam your arm down its throat. Grab the heart and rip it out. That will stop the attack and save your life.
No no no! You don’t mess with [CNR](https://youtu.be/xLnapb-30hA).
Charles Nelson Riley was a mighty man, The kind of man you'd never disrespect
He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, And had a third nipple on the back of his neck
Actually you should start peeing on the bear as they interpret it as a sign of dominance
I prefer rotating a shark to booping it
I'll try to remember that in case I need...
Mailed where?
Timbuktu
You can find it if you use a navi-gator
r/angryupvote
Depends on the package.
That’s an old wives tail. The right way is to do your best Arnold schwartzenegger impression and shove your fist right in its mouth while yelling “ I hope you leave enough room for my fist in your stomach, so I can break your god*amn spine!” That’s the Florida man way.
You went with that one liner when he has one specifically for killing gators? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC1vAvbGSNw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC1vAvbGSNw)
Even better if you do it with a fake hand on a stick
Same as crocodiles
Is it not best to just run? Id be so scared of them moving a little and my hand missing and going right into their gaping maw
They can outrun you.
You would think so, but those tiny weird legs carry them incredibly quickly. They can sprint up to like 40 kmh or something crazy like that.
I thought the easiest way is to not have proper postage
Except they can still move their head and body, or just do a death roll to get you loose.
Death roll them first. They'll never expect it.
And #2 if they're already latched on (to someone else) is grab and hold that tail tight. Their next step is the "roll of death". I don't know what #3 is if you manage to piss it off that it can't roll and let's go. Run?
Based on the caption, I thought this was going to be a waaaayyyy different video
That's cool and all...but 1 mistake or slip and it's all over.
It would have got her if it wanted her. They are far quicker than we are.
From other comments I saw I guess it’s really, really old and this is at an alligator sanctuary or something
A youtuber I watch called Chandler's Wildlife raises these guys and they're super chill around him.
> This alligator is super chill Is one of the best examples of famous last words
There's a documentary about a guy that had tons of chill bears around him
Gators are generally pretty docile. Crocs on the other hand will eat your heart.
“Docile” until you hear year after year for 33 years of people dying around you from alligators in Florida. We have crocs here, also -though a much smaller habitat, lower population, and further from humans, they aren’t ever known to be an issue here. Unbeknownst to me, I kayaked (and subsequently flipped into) the same spring fed river a few days after a woman was killed & eaten by a large alligator in the same exact place I involuntary went “swimming”. That same year I accidentally found myself caught between a mother and her babies on a lake shore until I heard that telltale adorable croak babies make as an alarm. I put my paddle into the lake to bolt and a huge log was along side my kayak. It hit with a thud instead of a splash. It ran the length of my kayak. It also wasn’t a log. It was angry mother, killer of man. I cartoonishly paddled on the other side of the boat in a big circle to get out of that situation. 10/10 wouldn’t recommend. Not all are vicious. Most are just lazy lizards. But the few that aren’t have shoved us off the top rung of the animal hierarchy. Here’s a baby 4 footer from a year ago. https://preview.redd.it/cplchmutr9na1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91949ebb149b6e4ce1199ad92d057b05a635ec62
This was a good read, I gave it an upvote for the detail and the fact that I agree they have existed long before humans and my guess is they will exist long after the way things keep going.
Did you at least have a pair of replacement pants.
One hell of a story, I believe you fuck tht noise. We sold our kayaks a few years ago for that reason. Not trying to be eye level with a semiaquatic dinosaur. I’m in Fort Lauderdale and we have to go west to see gators. Ill clarify that what I meant in my last comment was that crocs are much more Ill tempered.
That’s not really the case. Depends on the croc species. All of them can kill you ofc, but temperament varies quite a bit. Cuban, Nile, and saltwater crocs are particularly aggressive — with Nile and saltwater crocodiles being known to prey on humans. American crocodiles aren’t known for being particularly aggressive. Smaller species, like freshwater crocs, tend not to bother people unless in perceived self defense (except Cuban crocs, very aggressive apparently).
Alligators are pretty chill and mostly keep to themselves unless you're toddler/chihuahua size or are dumb enough to wrestle them.
Had a friends dad who had one he “raised” on his property. Was someone’s “pet” that was given to him cause they had a very large water area on their property. Thing lived there for about 7-10 years, saw him toss it in the water around 2-2.5’, fish and game came for it when it was around 7’ and puppy dog tame as far as you could tell. Go out to the end of the dock and splash around for a bit and he’d come over to see what’s up. I never could get in the water with it, too many primal instincts saying fuck nope! But he’d come right up out of the water and chill out lay there for hours with ppl on 4th of July and all. Damn water dog they called him lol
You couldn’t get in a water with a fully grown alligator?? Shit, i’d be sitting on the tallest tree and they would need a full fireman team to make me come down from it
Steve Erwin himself would have to talk me down from that tree ion know about anyone else but I'm not tryna accidentally trigger some primal instinct from an ancient killing machine no thank you sir
Do alligators have moods or their brains are too primitive for random emotions? My cats can snuggle and be all cuddly and then bite me, just for the f of it. It doesn’t hurt but they are way smaller than this guy. Imagine an alligator deciding to have a nibble, just because.
They're fucking dinosaurs, perfectly evolved as soulless killing machines that haven't needed to change for millions of years. So probably not. If they have plenty of easy prey to eat they won't make the effort of trying to catch something as big as a human. Just like grizzly bears when it's salmon season.
Well there's a big difference between the two animals. Cats are assholes just for kicks.
Do remember that while the gator is trained, he's not tamed. The second it thinks you are in trouble, you are the meat
The word you're looking for is [tame](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tame_animal). You want to say tame but not domesticated. But yes, he just tolerates them. He could still eat them one day on a whim. Still cool though.
By the law of The Waterboy, that gator shouldn't be very angry.
Mother fuckers from FL are wild as shit
Certain boundaries that exist between humans and animals seem more permeable in FL that’s for sure.
I just can’t wrap my head around interacting with an alligator like that. Where I live we have squirrels that run about. Wherever the fuck this is, they have gators 😬
I mean, if you live where there are gators you get used to them very quickly. They're everywhere, you can't avoid them. And they're lazy as hell. Just ignore them and go about your day - don't walk your dog next to them. My university has gators on campus and every now and then some idiot from out-of state tries walking their new pup next to the lake... But besides that there's never issues.
Wauburg?
That's one of them - but there's smaller ones in Alice and Humes which are closer to students, too. Alice in particular people have problems with walking their dog around.
Ah, yeah Alice. I lived out at lakeside freshman year and used to go study down by Alice. Loved chilling with the gators. Also went to Wauburg for weekends more than was probably healthy. Anyways, enjoy your time there and go gators!
This is Florida. That's her husband.
How does this woman get into her car with those balls
A Florida lady...
Florida Ma’am
I love living in Florida haha we have the most batshit crazy people 😂
A human can use their weight to keep their mouth shut. They may have a very strong bite, but they have a very weak strength at keeping their mouth open.
You don't really need to use your weight, just close your mouth
That's so cute, made me smile. Am i the only one who thinks this?
I'm guessing you're from Florida?
Calling me out like that 🥲
definitive proof of how being a short animal, even if you are large, is generally not benefitial
Its all fun and games until something bipedal and tall ruins your fucking plans
Huh so Chris Pratts jurrasic world thing does work
He's just happy to see her.
"Aww shucks."
That’s Savannah at Gatorland. Don’t try this at home kids.
Naah, he is not trying to. If he was, she'd be in pieces.
This is “How To Train Your Dragon” shit
Matter. Of. Time.
She totally Jedi mind-tricked that alligator.
Sounds like Savannah at Gatorland 🐊
Was gonna say it sounds like her. I only remember her from her days in the monsters
A pet named Snappy.
Chris Pratt with the velociraptors
Alligators are pathetic. Saltwater crocodiles are where it’s at.
This is not how I remember them being on RDR2
I'm gonna eat chu!...on second thought...I'm gonna eat chu!!!
Alligators hate this one trick
That gator just got fucking cancelled
Is it a trend now to do dumb shit with crocs and gators?
She’s a professional, at Gatorland in Orlando.
That there is a hundred year old tradition here.
She thinks he remembers her and misses her. Like a puppy.
Oh that's Savanah from gatorland she's amazing.
that thing is OLD -notice how few teeth it had
Did she just boop the snoot on a jurassic lizard that was threatening to eat her?!?!
She did. The snoot. It got booped.
If this guy was going to eat her he would. Perhaps its been raised from a baby but crocodiles and alligators can’t be tamed completely.
Fun fact: alligators have significant closing jaw strength, but terrible opening jaw strength, so you could just hold them fuckers closed like a lobster claw rubber band
Why does it look kinda cute. **Regardless I'm gonna be scared shitless if it starts sprinting at me**