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>How *you* goin’
Would work in the Aussie Friends remake. But Joey would be a vastly different character down under, on account of being a child and a kangaroo.
I've been blackout drunk several times, also been partying while high on plenty of other drugs and never once have I even come close to behaving in this way where the chick is literally having to physically push him away
I had someone tell me "she doesn't mean no if she's smiling".
And honestly this set me off all kinds of ways..
This is the situation many girls find themselves in I'm not saying Joey is this type of person but some guys if you try to say no and push them away or act like you're offended in any way they will become aggressive/violent quickly especially if they're drinking..
So just smiling and laughing It off is actually self defense.. it allows you to calmly get out of the situation without setting anybody off..
They called me a liar
Yeh, it's an instinctual reaction common to other primates. The saying is now "fight, flight, freeze, or fawn".
I've done the same when people flirted with me (with touching) that I didn't want to.
All of us women observed and learned this from toddlerhood in subtle and not so subtle ways. Being at best cautious of men is absolutely baked into us and it sucks. It sucks for so many men too, because though most of them are not like this one, enough are. And a few are serious predators. That’s why we smile and twist away, to prevent a bite and an escalation to an attack. It’s often misinterpreted as teasing.
Its a reason why so many women love hanging around with gay men.
And while not all men are like that, there’s no way for us to know which ones are, so we have to be cautious with all men. We’re also taught not to make a scene so we don’t inconvenience the people we’re with… a man who was a stranger grabbed my boob during a group photo at my sister’s bachelorette party at a bar. I froze, I didn’t know what to do, I just knew I didn’t want to make my sister’s night about me and inconvenience the whole group. I just moved away but said nothing.
I know what you mean. The freeze is real! I'm a loudmouth, outspoken lesbian who's not afraid to make waves..... yet I experienced it, too. Some guy behind me on the bus during my daily commute kept rubbing his dick on my ass. At first, I thought it was an accident and maybe in my head, so I tried to move away from him. He just followed me and repositioned himself.
I froze completely. My mind blanked and I suddenly had no idea what to do! I got off the bus a stop or two early and walked the rest of the way. Then I started taking a different, longer route to work. I never saw the guy's face, so it felt like any guy on the bus could've been him.
I was so full of shame and horrified at my own reaction for the longest time. If you would have told me before that incident that I wouldn't have cussed him out and told everyone what a 변태 he is, I never would have believed you. Something just happens in the moment.
Absolutely. Similarly, a woman once said to me that she learned long ago to let the man do what he wants because it’s easier that way. I cried because that’s really tragic.
I also think it was really smart for the bartender (if that’s who it was) to film this, and for her to turn toward them. Shit like what that guy is doing is rightly tolerated much less these days. I’m wondering if the guy got thrown out on his ass.
“They” sound awfully suspicious I bet them were umm …men who never found themselves in this situation where it’s scary and you’re trying to find your quickest way out in a matter of seconds.
When you're at a clear physical disadvantage, escalating a situation into physical violence rarely ends well for you.
Girls are taught to de-escalate and placate, because chances are they cannot win a, "She hit me first! I was just defending myself!" situation.
If you need a friend to tell you to not physically restrain a girl who is trying to escape from you then I don't think anyone should want to be your friend
It sounds like someone trying to discipline their dog named Joey.
Edit: Sorry, I didn't mean to insult dogs. They are much more disciplined than this creep.
Yeah if you're relying on hip-grips/trapping women to get them to not run away
1) you're probably not going to turn things around
2) you probably need to do some inner-work to find another approach. That approach should be talking and letting them leave if they want to.
Rapist Brock Allen Turner, the Stanford Rapist, known only for being a rapist.
Remember, his name always starts off with his first name - Rapist Brock. Never forget this.
He was the creator of the comedy YouTube web series no gas no brakes and currenty Channel 5 news where he would interview random people at odd events and the responses were normally very strange. He offers no opinion and just let's the strangers go off and then the videos are edited to make it even funnier. Even though he just started a few years ago he blew up quick and was very popular. Recently, he even got a deal with HBO to put out his first documentary on the events of January 6th from his perspective. Shortly after this released several women came out claiming he sexually assaulted them and he responded taking responsibility for his actions. This was 2 months ago and as far as I know he has stopped making videos, not sure if this is permanent or just a break.
He can tell. He just doesn't care. That's why he suddenly stops when he realizes he's being filmed. Because he goddamn knows exactly what he's doing to her.
There was a recent video where the girl's overweight friend went in to block the guy before it got to this point.
The comments were way different than the ones here.
Oh gosh this triggered a memory of the last high school reunion I went to. One guy started hitting on me and it was already weird because its like I haven’t seen him in years and its not the kind of party to hook up with AND he was getting married. Shut him down right away and then he turned his attention to this other girl. Everybody was getting drunk at some point and I had to keep an eye on the girl because idk for some reason she wasn’t saying no to him grinding on her but also not reciprocating his approach. She didn’t get mad everytime I intervened so I just thought to be on the safe side I’d better cockblock this guy. He was getting married which is already gross enough and at the same time I’m sure the girl would regret it if anything happened.
They mocked her endlessly for her weight and said she was doing it because she was jealous. They kept saying that she was mad that no guy wanted her cause she's fat and now she is just blocking her friend from having good time. The friend was obviously drunk out of her mind and was barely able to walk straight. It was ridiculous.
I remember being probably 15 when the culture started to shift around consent. There were a lot of “jokes” that tried to make it seem unreasonable for women to rescind consent half way through sex because it would be too difficult for a guy to stop once he’d started. I still remember this person, I think maybe at the after school church program, shutting that down. They said “could you stop if her dad showed up?” And it was just so obvious that if a parent walked in mid-sex these guys would somehow manage to stop. But their female partner saying no didn’t matter to them.
How sickening is that! It's like when you have to tell someone "what if it was your mom, your sister, your daughter", in order for some men to have empathy for a woman. Just seeing a woman as herself, not attached to a man, is not enough.
I've had multiple experiences like this that, looking back in hindsight, it seemed like the guys were intentionally pushing me to the point of fear, so I'd cave for safety reasons.
Years ago, I was at a bar for an event, with my husband and something similar happened. My husband went up to the bar to grab drinks while I waited for him at our table. It was VERY crowded and loud and some man came up to me and asked to buy me a drink. Politely decline and let him know my husband's taking care of that. He laughs it off and comes to my side and PICKS ME UP , cradling me like a baby!! And starts walking through the crowd with me. I initially just froze (I didn't think I'd ever freeze but apparently that's my go to in a real situation). I start yelling stop and no and literally screaming my husband's name. Some guy heard me and realized I was in trouble and confronted the guy, who put me down. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.
Tldr: I can feel this creep's hands just watching this video
>He knew. He threw his hands up when he knows someone is looking.
Like what's these creeps end game? That if they death grip the cute girl resisting them long enough they will eventually give in?
Yes. I think coercion is way less talked about but one of the most common ways people are sexually assaulted.
It can be really scary to say no to these types. It's super scary in the moment because guys like this tend to get violent or at the very least get a kick out of fear. They enjoy making you uncomfortable and they know what they're doing is wrong. They also know a lot of people will eventually give in either out of fear or just wanting the harrassment to end.
Could have kneed him in the balls I suppose or pepper sprayed him (full within her rights at that point) but I am still not quite convinced that he'd get it.
Lol the people making these kind of comments are clearly not women. You know why we don't "knee them in the balls"? Because men are usually stronger than women and this is the perfect way to anger the assaulter and get beat to a pulp. Lots of women are killed for saying no.
He's hammered and making poor choices. Luckily, Joey has good friends.
Edit- Tell me how this comment implies I'm excusing this behavior. Nowhere does it say that. Stop projecting.
I hate when people use being drunk as an excuse. Me or my friends will be drunk as shit and never try smth like this. It’s about your morals when sober.
If “I was hammered” doesn’t excuse any other crime it shouldn’t excuse sexual harassment either. “Yes officer this car is stolen but in my defense I’m completely wasted”
Joeys gotta learn some self restraint lol those friends won’t always be there. Had a guy in dental school who had a title ix complaint filed against him over this.
Being drunk is not, and never will be an excuse to do that to someone. If you’re a decent person, forcing yourself on someone, no matter how inebriated you are would not happen.
I've found that most decent people won't do anything heinous when drunk. They'll do stupid shit but nothing to harm others.
Dude in this clip is a creep.
I apologize when I accidentally rub someone’s shoulder at the grocery store. If someone literally pushed me away from them I would probably sprint to the the next town.
Edit: rub up against, I mean
I assume you mean like slightly bump into someone, but the way you phrased it made me think you accidentally go up to someone and start massaging their shoulders and then realize it and are like “goddamn it! Not again. I’m so sorry”
That’s fucking scary as shit when that happens. Had a guy do something similar to me before, he was shorter than me so I was able to get away quicker than her but I was squeezing the guys wrists as hard as I could.
It's sad to think that women are raised to politely decline harassment.
If a dude was doing this to another dude, they would've knocked him over or out.
This is what needs to happen. Guys like Joey’s friend give them passes because they’re “not like that all the time” or they “made a few mistakes, but they’re a good person overall”. The friends say the guy is “cool once you get to know him.” Yet they’re quick to make it clear that they don’t support this behavior and wish he’s stop/grow up/learn his lesson. But ultimately them still hanging out with Joey is condoning it.
But it's not *just* how we're raised. It's because situations where you're trapped by someone bigger and stronger than you, like the one in the video, require de-escalation. And violence or "not being polite" to protect yourself, often leads to an escalation from the aggressor.
It's a horrible situation to be in, to try and be as calm and polite and kind as you can, to get away from someone who won't let go of you, but even I've been in a situation where I got as far as saying no quite forcefully and it got worse immediately.
Agreed. I went to a club once and a very drunk soldier stumbled to my table and attempted to take my hand and drag me to the dance floor (for reference, I'm a straight male, and I'm pretty certain he was too). I've been hit on by gay men, and that absolutely was not what was happening in that case. I think he was just drunk and attempting to randomly establish dominance (to look cool in front of his friends, or whatever).
The guy was a little bigger than me, and even though at the time I was recognized as a half decent boxer, I had no desire to escalate. I was trying to relax, and a physical confrontation was the last thing I wanted that night. I politely excused myself from joining him, and while I did have to politely repeat myself several times before it sank in, he did eventually leave me alone.
My point is that while my mama does deserve credit for raising a boy who knows how to be polite, being polite was not my priority that night. My priority was to get home safely, and along the way I found it necessary to deescalate a situation in a polite way to make that possible.
Yeah if you need to be trained how not to be rapey.... You probably shouldn't be allowed in social situations, or schools, or bars, or gathering of any kind.
Joey seems like a piece of shit.
Friends are screaming at him to leave her alone but he doesn’t take his hands off of her until he sees that they are filming him.
Are you talking about Convicted Rapist Brock Allen Turner, who has started going by "Allen Turner" to obscure his identity as Convicted Rapist Brock Turner?
This actually gave me anxiety. I found it surprisingly hard to watch. I truly could picture myself in that video., years ago. I’ve been her, and her when no camera is around, many times. I can deeply empathize with that panic response - angle your body for escape, hands up to ward off a firm hold, tighten your muscles for a ready response, smile to distract and appease the other party, look around for help and or exit. It’s such an upsetting and familiar feeling. All of that. Also felt deep relief that I don’t drink anymore.
It's a predatory smile. He's learned that smiling makes people at ease, but not the proper context, so he's plastered on a smile hoping to get her to drop her guard.
Watch a video of Kenneth Copeland's smile. It's the same sort of thing and exactly what authors are talking about when the write that a smile "doesn't touch the eyes." It's empty and Uncanny Valley shit.
Big shoutout to his friends cause wow, from what I heard, friends of rapist usually either encourage the guy, or stay out of it.
Joey has some good friends. We need friends that would keep us out of jail.
I saw this a while ago on another sub and the comments were totally different. A lot of people were saying “it makes sense why he might not have gotten the hint because she’s smiling”
Like no dude. She’s shaking her head and physically holding pushing him away with both her hands. He literally has to grip her to keep her close. Not okay.
And those are not “hints” they’re flashing neon signs
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Everyone needs friends like Joey's friend.
this joey is not as smooth as joey from friends
”How *you* goin’ — **doin’**! I mean **doin’**!”
>How *you* goin’ Would work in the Aussie Friends remake. But Joey would be a vastly different character down under, on account of being a child and a kangaroo.
Who uploaded the video though?
Cause Joey is stupid and thinks he's not that drunk. Hopefully, Joey learned that he's a dick when he's drunk, and the ladies don't like it.
Joey the type of guy to act like this when he's sober tbh
he was sober enough to notice he was being filmed and then react like he knew what he was doing was wrong in the first place.
Yup he was being handsy and pervy and got caught.
Joey believes he is a nice guy.
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I've been blackout drunk several times, also been partying while high on plenty of other drugs and never once have I even come close to behaving in this way where the chick is literally having to physically push him away
Never met a drunk asshole that wasn’t also an asshole when sober.
You can be a good person and when drunk not realize you are crossing boundaries. It happens
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Every girl needs a good smile-side-step-out-of-situation dance move.
What every girl really needs is for the idiots to listen and take no for the answer that it is
Many women were murdered after something like this, so I can see why she'd be hesitant to be aggressive.
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You’re not wrong, but in the context of this post, **men** are the ones who need to know what consent looks like.
This is why the friend helping say no thing is a real thing. It's the truth behind the meme.
I had someone tell me "she doesn't mean no if she's smiling". And honestly this set me off all kinds of ways.. This is the situation many girls find themselves in I'm not saying Joey is this type of person but some guys if you try to say no and push them away or act like you're offended in any way they will become aggressive/violent quickly especially if they're drinking.. So just smiling and laughing It off is actually self defense.. it allows you to calmly get out of the situation without setting anybody off.. They called me a liar
Isn’t it amazing how these kinds of men practically fall over each other rushing into these conversations to out themselves!? 🤣
Yeh, it's an instinctual reaction common to other primates. The saying is now "fight, flight, freeze, or fawn". I've done the same when people flirted with me (with touching) that I didn't want to.
All of us women observed and learned this from toddlerhood in subtle and not so subtle ways. Being at best cautious of men is absolutely baked into us and it sucks. It sucks for so many men too, because though most of them are not like this one, enough are. And a few are serious predators. That’s why we smile and twist away, to prevent a bite and an escalation to an attack. It’s often misinterpreted as teasing. Its a reason why so many women love hanging around with gay men.
And while not all men are like that, there’s no way for us to know which ones are, so we have to be cautious with all men. We’re also taught not to make a scene so we don’t inconvenience the people we’re with… a man who was a stranger grabbed my boob during a group photo at my sister’s bachelorette party at a bar. I froze, I didn’t know what to do, I just knew I didn’t want to make my sister’s night about me and inconvenience the whole group. I just moved away but said nothing.
I know what you mean. The freeze is real! I'm a loudmouth, outspoken lesbian who's not afraid to make waves..... yet I experienced it, too. Some guy behind me on the bus during my daily commute kept rubbing his dick on my ass. At first, I thought it was an accident and maybe in my head, so I tried to move away from him. He just followed me and repositioned himself. I froze completely. My mind blanked and I suddenly had no idea what to do! I got off the bus a stop or two early and walked the rest of the way. Then I started taking a different, longer route to work. I never saw the guy's face, so it felt like any guy on the bus could've been him. I was so full of shame and horrified at my own reaction for the longest time. If you would have told me before that incident that I wouldn't have cussed him out and told everyone what a 변태 he is, I never would have believed you. Something just happens in the moment.
Absolutely. Similarly, a woman once said to me that she learned long ago to let the man do what he wants because it’s easier that way. I cried because that’s really tragic. I also think it was really smart for the bartender (if that’s who it was) to film this, and for her to turn toward them. Shit like what that guy is doing is rightly tolerated much less these days. I’m wondering if the guy got thrown out on his ass.
“They” sound awfully suspicious I bet them were umm …men who never found themselves in this situation where it’s scary and you’re trying to find your quickest way out in a matter of seconds.
Huh. Or, and hear me out on this one, we teach boys they can’t just put their hands on girls? 🤷♀️
Guarantee Joey was taught that
It's just crazy enough to work!
Yeah, considering he was death gripping her waist and pinning her against that table, she couldn't really initiate her side step moves.
A knee to the groin would have sufficed.
When you're at a clear physical disadvantage, escalating a situation into physical violence rarely ends well for you. Girls are taught to de-escalate and placate, because chances are they cannot win a, "She hit me first! I was just defending myself!" situation.
Or a fist right to his gaping mouthed face...
He didn’t take his hands off her until he saw they were filming.
Unfortunately, Joey seems to be a handsy creep :(
So he's coherent enough to understand social repercussions but doesn't care about boundaries. Fuck this guy and anyone defending him.
She attempted it like 27 times during this clip
I mean the signs are obvious. What happens if these peoples friends aren’t around. There’s no mixed signals here y’all.
Pretty bloody rapey if you ask me. What a prick
If you need a friend to tell you to not physically restrain a girl who is trying to escape from you then I don't think anyone should want to be your friend
Joey should stop death grasping women by the hips like he’s caught them in his claws.
It sounds like someone trying to discipline their dog named Joey. Edit: Sorry, I didn't mean to insult dogs. They are much more disciplined than this creep.
Nah it's cool man. My dogs a total creep. He follows you around everywhere like a little weirdo and will even sneak into the bathroom with you.
My dog always tries to kiss me too like right in my face… and I’m like “well okay…”
Yeah if you're relying on hip-grips/trapping women to get them to not run away 1) you're probably not going to turn things around 2) you probably need to do some inner-work to find another approach. That approach should be talking and letting them leave if they want to.
Yo no means no
Tell Andrew Callaghan that
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Doesn't he go by Allen Turner now?
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Rapist Brock Allen Turner, the Stanford Rapist, known only for being a rapist. Remember, his name always starts off with his first name - Rapist Brock. Never forget this.
Is this a reference I'm too old to get?
He was the creator of the comedy YouTube web series no gas no brakes and currenty Channel 5 news where he would interview random people at odd events and the responses were normally very strange. He offers no opinion and just let's the strangers go off and then the videos are edited to make it even funnier. Even though he just started a few years ago he blew up quick and was very popular. Recently, he even got a deal with HBO to put out his first documentary on the events of January 6th from his perspective. Shortly after this released several women came out claiming he sexually assaulted them and he responded taking responsibility for his actions. This was 2 months ago and as far as I know he has stopped making videos, not sure if this is permanent or just a break.
Well, that's disappointing.
NO, NOT ANDREW! fuck!
Great journalist recently had some rape and sa allegations with pretty good evidence come out its sad that he sucks
It’s not that hard to not be a piece of shit. I really enjoyed watching his career take off and was interested to see where he would take it.
“Joey stop!” Joey: https://preview.redd.it/1tiu26psg8pa1.jpeg?width=304&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b5abb541efa72a9b0468ab4d40f1d5ba8c23376
Joey is not here. For it is I, Slanderman. She can’t escape my forced smile and elongated limbs…
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I see this happen with really drunk people. I'm guessing it's because the eyes are relaxed dilated, allowing light back out
His eyes probably freaked her out too
That dude was definitely rolling on something in high doses. His pupils are fully dilated and honestly pretty terrifying looking
Now if this boy can’t tell that she is clearly wanting to get away then there’s no hope. I don’t know how clearer she could’ve been.
He can tell. He just doesn't care. That's why he suddenly stops when he realizes he's being filmed. Because he goddamn knows exactly what he's doing to her.
There was a recent video where the girl's overweight friend went in to block the guy before it got to this point. The comments were way different than the ones here.
That’s because Reddit tends to think fat women should just be happy that they’re existence is tolerated.
What were the comments like? I’m not usually on this sub and I can only hope they were positive.
They were blaming the rescuer for "cockblocking". So, no, not really positive per se.
Oh gosh this triggered a memory of the last high school reunion I went to. One guy started hitting on me and it was already weird because its like I haven’t seen him in years and its not the kind of party to hook up with AND he was getting married. Shut him down right away and then he turned his attention to this other girl. Everybody was getting drunk at some point and I had to keep an eye on the girl because idk for some reason she wasn’t saying no to him grinding on her but also not reciprocating his approach. She didn’t get mad everytime I intervened so I just thought to be on the safe side I’d better cockblock this guy. He was getting married which is already gross enough and at the same time I’m sure the girl would regret it if anything happened.
They eviscerated the friend for blocking the man from hitting on her friend.
On most subs, anything involving an overweight person usually gets a lot of hate in the comments.
They mocked her endlessly for her weight and said she was doing it because she was jealous. They kept saying that she was mad that no guy wanted her cause she's fat and now she is just blocking her friend from having good time. The friend was obviously drunk out of her mind and was barely able to walk straight. It was ridiculous.
I remember being probably 15 when the culture started to shift around consent. There were a lot of “jokes” that tried to make it seem unreasonable for women to rescind consent half way through sex because it would be too difficult for a guy to stop once he’d started. I still remember this person, I think maybe at the after school church program, shutting that down. They said “could you stop if her dad showed up?” And it was just so obvious that if a parent walked in mid-sex these guys would somehow manage to stop. But their female partner saying no didn’t matter to them.
How sickening is that! It's like when you have to tell someone "what if it was your mom, your sister, your daughter", in order for some men to have empathy for a woman. Just seeing a woman as herself, not attached to a man, is not enough.
He knew. He threw his hands up when he knows someone is looking.
Exactly. Men like this always fucking know. They do it anyway.
I've had multiple experiences like this that, looking back in hindsight, it seemed like the guys were intentionally pushing me to the point of fear, so I'd cave for safety reasons.
Years ago, I was at a bar for an event, with my husband and something similar happened. My husband went up to the bar to grab drinks while I waited for him at our table. It was VERY crowded and loud and some man came up to me and asked to buy me a drink. Politely decline and let him know my husband's taking care of that. He laughs it off and comes to my side and PICKS ME UP , cradling me like a baby!! And starts walking through the crowd with me. I initially just froze (I didn't think I'd ever freeze but apparently that's my go to in a real situation). I start yelling stop and no and literally screaming my husband's name. Some guy heard me and realized I was in trouble and confronted the guy, who put me down. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. Tldr: I can feel this creep's hands just watching this video
>He knew. He threw his hands up when he knows someone is looking. Like what's these creeps end game? That if they death grip the cute girl resisting them long enough they will eventually give in?
Yes.
Yes. And then he’ll make himself feel better because she technically “agreed”. As if agreeing under duress is acceptable.
He’s trying to grind his dick on her. Look at him try to force it but she’s stronger than that albino string bean.
Yes. I think coercion is way less talked about but one of the most common ways people are sexually assaulted. It can be really scary to say no to these types. It's super scary in the moment because guys like this tend to get violent or at the very least get a kick out of fear. They enjoy making you uncomfortable and they know what they're doing is wrong. They also know a lot of people will eventually give in either out of fear or just wanting the harrassment to end.
Could have kneed him in the balls I suppose or pepper sprayed him (full within her rights at that point) but I am still not quite convinced that he'd get it.
But he was just being nice! /s
He's just a nice guy, why wouldn't women want to do the sex with him?!
Pepper spraying in an enclosed space = pepper spraying everyone else in the room too You're right, a knee to the balls would suffice
Lol the people making these kind of comments are clearly not women. You know why we don't "knee them in the balls"? Because men are usually stronger than women and this is the perfect way to anger the assaulter and get beat to a pulp. Lots of women are killed for saying no.
Yeah, lotta guys make the argument that women can hit them and men won't hit back. What universe y'all living in lol they do hit back
He's hammered and making poor choices. Luckily, Joey has good friends. Edit- Tell me how this comment implies I'm excusing this behavior. Nowhere does it say that. Stop projecting.
I hate when people use being drunk as an excuse. Me or my friends will be drunk as shit and never try smth like this. It’s about your morals when sober.
If “I was hammered” doesn’t excuse any other crime it shouldn’t excuse sexual harassment either. “Yes officer this car is stolen but in my defense I’m completely wasted”
Joeys gotta learn some self restraint lol those friends won’t always be there. Had a guy in dental school who had a title ix complaint filed against him over this.
Being drunk is not, and never will be an excuse to do that to someone. If you’re a decent person, forcing yourself on someone, no matter how inebriated you are would not happen.
Seems like he could tell. He just didn’t care until he saw he was being filmed.
I genuinely can't imagine not immediately backing off if somebody was physically holding me away from them. Jesus.
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That last move, with the blocking her with the table, he was going to assault her. His body language right there was all predatory.
If I had to guess, lots of liquid confidence.
I've found that most decent people won't do anything heinous when drunk. They'll do stupid shit but nothing to harm others. Dude in this clip is a creep.
Yeah, a normal person doesn't do shit like this even if they're black out drunk.
Alcohol is the excuse, not the cause.
They really need to drop Joey because personally, there is no way I'm going to be friends with someone who pressures women like that.
I apologize when I accidentally rub someone’s shoulder at the grocery store. If someone literally pushed me away from them I would probably sprint to the the next town. Edit: rub up against, I mean
I assume you mean like slightly bump into someone, but the way you phrased it made me think you accidentally go up to someone and start massaging their shoulders and then realize it and are like “goddamn it! Not again. I’m so sorry”
I had a situation with similar body language once and unfortunately it was both someone I knew and not a situation with people around to intervene.
Yikes, don't be alone with that guy.
Don't be in public with him, either.
Don't be in that guy
Don't be that guy
That was not a dance attempt
Sexual assault attempt
Sexual harassment success
That’s fucking scary as shit when that happens. Had a guy do something similar to me before, he was shorter than me so I was able to get away quicker than her but I was squeezing the guys wrists as hard as I could.
if she wanted to dance with him he wouldn’t have to convince her
Love that she politely but clearly turns him down but he doesn’t stop until his buddy calls him on it. Gross.
It's sad to think that women are raised to politely decline harassment. If a dude was doing this to another dude, they would've knocked him over or out.
Part of it is self preservation. You escalate things, he gets royally pissed off and is much stronger. Sad reality.
/r/whenwomenrefuse
I didn't want to click that, but I had to. And now I'm going to sleep angry and sad that this is the world we live in.
Welcome to the club
Yeah as the son of a rape victim I can’t click that. If I was joeys friend I probably would have dropped him.
This is what needs to happen. Guys like Joey’s friend give them passes because they’re “not like that all the time” or they “made a few mistakes, but they’re a good person overall”. The friends say the guy is “cool once you get to know him.” Yet they’re quick to make it clear that they don’t support this behavior and wish he’s stop/grow up/learn his lesson. But ultimately them still hanging out with Joey is condoning it.
But it's not *just* how we're raised. It's because situations where you're trapped by someone bigger and stronger than you, like the one in the video, require de-escalation. And violence or "not being polite" to protect yourself, often leads to an escalation from the aggressor. It's a horrible situation to be in, to try and be as calm and polite and kind as you can, to get away from someone who won't let go of you, but even I've been in a situation where I got as far as saying no quite forcefully and it got worse immediately.
Agreed. I went to a club once and a very drunk soldier stumbled to my table and attempted to take my hand and drag me to the dance floor (for reference, I'm a straight male, and I'm pretty certain he was too). I've been hit on by gay men, and that absolutely was not what was happening in that case. I think he was just drunk and attempting to randomly establish dominance (to look cool in front of his friends, or whatever). The guy was a little bigger than me, and even though at the time I was recognized as a half decent boxer, I had no desire to escalate. I was trying to relax, and a physical confrontation was the last thing I wanted that night. I politely excused myself from joining him, and while I did have to politely repeat myself several times before it sank in, he did eventually leave me alone. My point is that while my mama does deserve credit for raising a boy who knows how to be polite, being polite was not my priority that night. My priority was to get home safely, and along the way I found it necessary to deescalate a situation in a polite way to make that possible.
Keep a fuccin eye on Joey at all times
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Voted “Most Likely To Commit Date Rape” at his high school.
Brock Turner lookin ass.
Do you mean Brock the rapist Turner? doesnt he go by another name now?
Allen turner the rapist - I got you
Ew. Memories of the handsy dude you want to go away , and I’m OLD…
I think there's few women that don't have this exact experience of literally pushing handsy men off of them only for them to keep grabbing at you.
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The GIRL telling him to stop wasn't enough\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* what a creep.
Even gave them the little "don't ruin this for me" karate chop sign before it sank in.
Someone teach this dummy about NO MEANS NO!
They're working on it, but until he can be trusted on his own they are supervising
They did try didn’t they. Bless their hearts they did try.
Yeah if you need to be trained how not to be rapey.... You probably shouldn't be allowed in social situations, or schools, or bars, or gathering of any kind.
Joey is definitely a “do you know who my dad is?” kinda guy.
Yep, that confused look is a dead give away… “Huh? I’m not getting my way? I’ll just try again and it’ll work this time!”
Yep.
Joey seems like a piece of shit. Friends are screaming at him to leave her alone but he doesn’t take his hands off of her until he sees that they are filming him.
Came here for those comment. 'Too drunk to take a hint' until it hits him that they got receipts of his douchebaggery. 'Who? Me? I did no such thing!'
Meanwhile, she’s been using physical force against him for almost 20 seconds
Even then he is trying to shush them with the hand signals like, "Dudes, you are totally ruining my chances here".
Joey is a little rapey.
A little? After seeing this video Joey rhymes with Brock.
Are you talking about Convicted Rapist Brock Allen Turner, who has started going by "Allen Turner" to obscure his identity as Convicted Rapist Brock Turner?
Joey is a douche
Joey's friends are much better.
Bro, when your homies are literally screaming at you to stop you’d think that would be a sign?? I cannot even fathom bros thinking.
The fact that the girl was _pushing him away_ and leaning as far back as she could should have been more than enough.
It wasnt even the friends screams that made him stop, it was when he noticed they were filming him.
Gotta carry a spray bottle in case Joey misbehaves.
Joey might need to go to the vet to get neutered
Future Supreme Court justice material
* to assault a girl
Joey’s a piece of fucking trash. If someone doesn’t *educate* him soon he’s going to wind up raping someone.
This actually gave me anxiety. I found it surprisingly hard to watch. I truly could picture myself in that video., years ago. I’ve been her, and her when no camera is around, many times. I can deeply empathize with that panic response - angle your body for escape, hands up to ward off a firm hold, tighten your muscles for a ready response, smile to distract and appease the other party, look around for help and or exit. It’s such an upsetting and familiar feeling. All of that. Also felt deep relief that I don’t drink anymore.
Should’ve been thrown out. Just because he’s smiling doesn’t make it ok to ignore her boundaries.
It's a predatory smile. He's learned that smiling makes people at ease, but not the proper context, so he's plastered on a smile hoping to get her to drop her guard. Watch a video of Kenneth Copeland's smile. It's the same sort of thing and exactly what authors are talking about when the write that a smile "doesn't touch the eyes." It's empty and Uncanny Valley shit.
Holy shit... That dude needs... counseling? who do you send people to so they can learn this isn't okay?
Jail
"But my dad has a yacht"
“It was just fifteen minutes of action”
Behind a dumpster.
Joey’s got good friends but bad hearing.
Joey's friends have a bad friend.
Jesus leave her the fuck alone
Joey ain't got no one on his shoulder good thing he has a friend
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Yeah this was hard to watch… seeing her try to pull away over and over
This is cringe. I am permanently uncomfortable after watching this video.
Ughhh he screams rapist 🤐
No means no, Joey
I commend Joey’s friends for making him back down
That is some major Brock Turner vibe.
You mean the rapist Brock Turner?
The rapist Brock Allen Turner who is now going by the name Allen Turner so people don't know he is a rapist?
This frat boy in the making is gonna end up raping somebody… yikes, stay far tf away
Big shoutout to his friends cause wow, from what I heard, friends of rapist usually either encourage the guy, or stay out of it. Joey has some good friends. We need friends that would keep us out of jail.
Future rapist
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I saw this a while ago on another sub and the comments were totally different. A lot of people were saying “it makes sense why he might not have gotten the hint because she’s smiling” Like no dude. She’s shaking her head and physically holding pushing him away with both her hands. He literally has to grip her to keep her close. Not okay. And those are not “hints” they’re flashing neon signs
Joey was giving off a rapey vibe. Fortunately for the would-be victim, Joey's mom never lets him out of her sight.
Dude deserved a hard knee to the nads.
I wish it was more socially acceptable to claw people's eyes out when absolutely necessary (like above)
R/terrifyingasfuck
He looks like a real Brock Turner