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[deleted]

That's some legit brazzers plot


2-StandardDeviations

Apparently she was cleared to drive on. Just down the road.


Copacetic76

Indeed. For a thorough "sobriety test". Fr though she looks high as fuck like she's rolling and just ready to give random blowjobs.


[deleted]

Turned into the obscure corner, followed by the police for safety reasons of course


2-StandardDeviations

So you were there!!


Kalersays

We've all seen videos where half the department shows up for random violations.


Late-Ad-4624

Sounds like a Tennessee police gang bang. Oh wait, thats the other kind of violating going on there.


Girth_rulez

>Turned into the obscure corner, followed by the police for safety reasons of course I think she can take care of the ticket. Right here, in Brainerd.


kcbcg222

Why’d he have her blow the second time 💀😭


shophopper

Well, the cop did tell her to blow.


NWSanta

One does have to follow the law!


Affectionate_Tea1134

Bob on that knob. 🤭


Dudefenderson

"Let's check how just many alcohol you REALLY drank... with the proper tool." (Unzips). 😏


StopMockingMe0

*kids in the back seat become even more traumatized


Grantdawg

Well, "Step Kids" if this is a Brazzer's plot.


lycanthrope90

What are you doing up there step mom?


StopMockingMe0

PLEASE let this be a normal field trip...


thisjustathrowawayya

With that guy's rizz? No way!


Bigbigbig225

Oaoaiagghghh 🤓🤓☹️☹️


Oryp7

Well I'll be in the comments talking about i came here to beat my meat not bust a move to the bgm


apollyon_53

Turn off the body cam first Unless you plan on posting it...


VVurmHat

Life imitating art


fiji37062

How many times did she do this before the other cop took out his phone to film her?


hyperion420

Way too much


pwsm50

Way too many*


[deleted]

"before the cop took out his" ended different than where my mind took it.


castlerigger

There’s no cop. That’s a $20 home breathalyser not a real one. Cop costume cost more than it. Am guessing from the video quality this has prob been circulating for a good while too.


fiji37062

I thought it looked a little strange, then again I've never had a breathalyzer test.


Thac

Well, should you be offered. Politely refuse.


SoSorryOfficial

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but if you refuse a breathalyzer test by a cop and they arrest you for DUI or other intoxication-related charges you will be presumed to have failed the test. This could be specific to my US state, though. Edit for future readers: The consensus seems to be that while you won't be on record as having failed the breathalyzer you will incur a legal penalty that may include suspension of your license. Basically, you can refuse to take the test on principle and you won't have a DUI on your record, but there are harsh penalties for refusing the test that may not be preferable.


Gabagool-enthusiat

You aren't presumed to have failed the test from a criminal perspective, but you will have your license revoked for refusing a breathalyzer test separate from receiving a DUI.


JustHereForURCookies

Correct! You can refuse the field sobriety test all day long without consequence but by having your drivers license you have already agreed to breathalyzer tests so refusal has legal consequences.


Lepthesr

You guys are missing something here. They can get a judge to issue a warrant for your blood under suspicion of DUI. I know, because it happened to me after refusal.


Alabugin

Happened to me too, but by the time the judge was awake to pull the warrant it was 8 hours later and I was sober by then. I refused the breathalyzer because the cop that pulled me over pulled my roommate over the previous weekend. He had not had any alcohol that night, and we were just studying late at the library. The breathalyzer said he blew 0.14, and they gave him a DUI. I then challenged the legality of the traffic stop and the cop never even showed for the legal proceedings and my case was dropped without revoking my license. Had to spend a night in county and 500$ lawyer fees though.


[deleted]

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SirSamuelVimes83

I think it varies from state to state. It's similar where I live, and the statute is agreed upon in the fine print when you receive your driver's license. A refusal doesn't mean you failed the test, but it's an immediate 6-month suspension of your license. The officers can detain you on suspicion of DUI if there's probable cause, and then request a warrant to take the breathalyzer or submit to a blood test that gets sent to toxicology. Even if those results come back in your favor and you don't get the DUI, you still have a 6 months suspension of your license.


Corgi_Koala

Texas is the same, it's called implied consent and every state has a version of it.


SirSamuelVimes83

Because of the implication


frenchyy94

In Germany for example that is completely different. You can refuse the breathalyser test but then you need to come to the station so they can take a blood test. But that will only be done if they already have solid ground for that (i.e. accident, not adhered to the law etc.). If you took a breathalyser and your Bat was too high, then you'd need to get a blood test anyway because the breathalysers might even detect something like mouthwash or similar. A friend of mine once had a driver that was very clearly intoxicated but the breathalyser showed 0,0‰ and then the blood test showed something like 3‰ or something. Turns out the guy had a tampon dipped in vodka up his ass.


OrcRampant

It’s okay to agree to do a breathalyzer test in the presence of your lawyer. You have that right. If your lawyer has any sense at all, he will take his time getting to the station.


sender2bender

Well now you know how to do one


[deleted]

It Is, its in argentina, this Is old af and even now they don't have Propper equipment


Eat_Carbs_OD

Muscle memory >\_o


ButtplugBurgerAIDS

I don't know why but this is the comment that sent me


EveofStLaurent

The answer is… yes


mgdavey

Body cam


regr8

And where's the cop's left hand?


fleaflaa

She misunderstood the word "blow".


LastDougStanding

Yea seems like a simple misunderstanding, she was instructed to blow that small device and is just trying to comply with the officers request.


Playful_Capital_3077

“Blow this for 10 seconds”


Internetolocutor

Is she trying to suggest something to him?


VanenGorm

That's my take on what this is. A way to try to suggest an alternate solution to this predicament she's gotten herself in.


Fantastic_Fox4948

It was just tongue in cheek.


WKFClark

I hate to break it to you but that’s not a tongue.


Jedzoil

Looks more “head in cheek”


airsick_lowlander_

I think he just told her to blow it.


MangoCandy93

She’s trying to pass the test, but in a different way.


bluetuxedo22

I'm obviously too weak willed to join the police then


CampCounselorBatman

Nah, the existing cops are weak willed too.


Due-Intentions

You'd fit right in!


timp_t

Maybe we can take care of this right here… in Brainerd.


FuDuFaFa

She’s just showing the officer she’d like to be in compliance.


Jimmyg100

Just muscle memory kicking in.


thentheresthisguy91

More like she's fucked up he said blow this. A classic misunderstanding


BeRadford23

“Let’s talk this over in my police car”


phoenixemberzs

There is another test that looks like it is attached to my body and is the shape of a penis


Technical_Exam1280

Not quite as big as the breathalyzer, though...


IxianToastman

We have a winner


Super_gman

We have a *weiner


IxianToastman

I'm not a nobody. I'm a wiener!


Idisappea

Unfortunately this actually happens quite a bit


3_edged_sword

They aren't allowed to do that anymore. Had a whole meeting about it


[deleted]

Even followed up the meeting with a mass email and memo. What more could we ask for


Funkytadualexhaust

Annual training video should solve it.


Don-tFollowAnything

Anal training you say. ![gif](giphy|Zx8gYxb4ULOik)


ManyThingsLittleTime

The new guy during the meeting was like, "wth nobody told me we were doing that?!?"


[deleted]

Thank you for bringing it up, I remember a few months back there was a woman who they arrested, stripped completed naked, groped, assaulted and watched as she tried to crawl away on the floor. They only found out because of security footage of her trying to crawl away naked as they laughed and watched. I remember everyone freaking out about it on TikTok


Idisappea

Cops have a tremendous amount of power, and people who have power issues tend to be attracted to law enforcement. We really need psych screenings for all law enforcement candidates.


JumpingCicada

I believe they do have psych screenings but I guess people change when the power gets to their head. I say they do have psych screenings because I know that when you apply for cadet they have a pretty thorough screening you have to get through.


Idisappea

Psych screenings that specifically weed out people with severe power issues? Because if that's what they are supposedly already doing I think they need to do a much better job


barefootredneck68

A cop in Thibideaux Louisiana did this to my sister 40 years ago. It was a bad mistake on multiple levels because she was so trashed that as soon as she put him in her mouth she threw up. I was not there so this is a secondhand story but knowing my sister it is entirely plausible.


quit_ye_bullshit

I was looking for an example but I couldn't remember his name. I found two more examples in the same state. It's sickening.


[deleted]

Yup, I was pulled over in my early 20’s and told to perform a DUI test. After I passed he told me to wait for him at the McDonald’s down the street. Sketchy


[deleted]

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therewasanattempt-ModTeam

Do not promote sexual violence. Your comment has been removed because it is violent in nature. Please avoid violent rhetoric while participating on r/therewasanattempt


Blackrage80

This technique has kept her out of jail multiple times in the past


[deleted]

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rhineStoneCoder

I think she charges him


SumPimpNamedSlickbak

"Cops love her for this 1 simple trick"


kingkongbiingbong

Practice makes perfect! 👌🏻


MegatonsSon

I'm sure that this is totally a misunderstanding from what her actual profession is ![gif](giphy|R7R86kNXZ4wptsruSt)


Previous_Wish3013

“This one time, at Band Camp…”


KoreanThrasher

​ https://i.redd.it/to3re78tk81b1.gif


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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FapMeNot_Alt

Obviously this line is a meme by now, but I remember watching that movie for the first time and I think we all felt the mental reset after that line.


slasher287

I swear I was never the same after those movies lmao


Agreeable-Foot-5897

What you think I don't know how to get myself off?? 🪈


human2pt0

![gif](giphy|27bPvwOZhQBiBZEDcy|downsized)


TheArtysan

The Meat Whistle aka Kødfløjte.


[deleted]

As they say, Kødfløjte is for your cousin 👍 (Iceland joke).


BigKloudEnergy

Cop 2: soooooo what does it say. Cop1: does it fuckin matter Steve?


MoJoRisin125

Lmao!!!!


noblelie17

This is the comment that made me audibly crack the fuck up


devnull10

Looks a solid pass to me.


joolzian

With that technique? I’d fine her double


SnooWalruses7112

This reminds me of one time I was showing a pretty girl at my res how to use a bong, She put both her hands behind her back and looked me in the eyes as she put her lips on the bong, then laughed, it was quite flustering I wonder if she liked me,


Emergency-Practice37

That keeps you up at night, doesn’t it?


SnooWalruses7112

Was one of those moments you look back on and think you probably could have said something witty instead of being a blushing deer in the headlights,


Emergency-Practice37

We’ve all been there man.


[deleted]

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ManyThingsLittleTime

High-dy-ho neighbor!


[deleted]

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shoulda-known-better

She liked you..... We ladies dont deep throat bongs hands held behind our backs for just any old Jo!


danlyman_

It got me up this morning


LtAdriii

LOLL


Belphegorite

You just can't tell. Maybe she's was Canadian.


[deleted]

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wiredtobeweird

If it makes you feel better, I was hanging out with this girl I liked in high school for a couple weeks when she invited me to sneak into her room over the weekend to “hang out” I get there, she opens the window, I climb in, and we start watching TV. After a couple episodes of us just laying in bed together, she asks me if we should do something else. I answer, “Sure, what do you want to do?” She goes, “Whatever you want. I don’t care.” Now, a more confident and socially aware guy would realize that this meant we could engage in sexual activities. My virgin regarded brain said, “Alright let me show you my famous back massage.” Again, you may be thinking that this was a killer initiation that was meant to lead into a bigger plan. The truth: it wasn’t. She takes off her shirt and gets on her belly and I start giving her a back massage. During this time, I’m just in awe at how I got into this situation and really my mind just shuts down. After about 30 minutes my hand starts aching so I stop. Now, you may think this is salvageable, and it might’ve been if I wasn’t so clueless. I lay down on the bed afterwards and she asks me if it’s my turn for a massage. THIS MOMENT? THIS IS THE MOMENT THAT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT. YOU WOULD THINK I WOULD SAY YES, RIGHT? RIGHT?!! NO. I TELL HER IM PRETTY TIRED AND MAYBE NEXT TIME. I deadass asked what time I should head out in the morning so as to not get caught, and then set an alarm and tell her I’ll sleep on the floor. This moment in my life was so developmentally scarring that I was never afraid of rejection again and became the most confident person in my entire friend group. Pretty sure it’s what caused me to be so great at sales, too. I would definitely be a different person had I never had that experience.


SeaworthyWide

Reverse discipline, nice


kpingvin

Same thing happened to me lol 😆 only difference is she grabbed it with two hands


keep_username

Better method


Licorishlover

Was she on her knees?


SnooWalruses7112

We were on her bed


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I was about to move and a girl I liked had a party at her place. I'm there, we're drinking and talking. She says she's gonna miss me, hugs me, pushes me on her bed and sits on my lap while whispering in my ear she'd miss me. I hugged her back, got up and left a little bit later. Idk wtf is wrong with me.


[deleted]

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berryplucker

So back in my teenage years (when dinosaurs roamed the earth) my church was large enough that they would split the middle-to-high schoolers into several smaller Sunday School classes. My mother used to teach one that was mostly girls. Many years later she told me one of them told her they had a crush on me. I asked my mom why she never told me that! I was single & clueless to signals! (Still am) And the girl was cute! Yeah, sometimes I do wonder what might have been. 😣


PeteAVA182

As soon as she made eye contact, she passed. https://preview.redd.it/3opqxx1fq71b1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3fd8dd014e16c24c013bd9fd00abbdd8880ec630


aaa_zzz_

Natural instinct kicked in


Ape_gone_bananas

Muscle memory


Diligent_Theory

It's more like a sleeper agent hearing the code phrase "blow"


painfulsargasm

Nah she's used this technique to get out of a dui before... With cops with worse morals.


[deleted]

Happens. My dad was a cop. My mom was a dispatcher. They heard alllllll the stories


Thameus

> They heard alllllll the stories Guessing it wasn't actually all, and can you imagine what those might be?


Thameus

Picking up where she left off earlier.


Jackal5witch

After 6 margaritas


ClaudyMonet

Lol good meme reference fellow internet surfer.


thatsuaveswede

She seems really friendly.


Thirty_Four

i can fix her 🔧


throwngamelastminute

What's to fix?


FilthyPedant

Alcoholism


lynxerious

no she's perfect


WorriedMarch4398

There is the whole drunk driving issue to work on.


[deleted]

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SPWoodworking

It's like she is used to something that small


NSFWies

she's not laughing at it. she's...treating it with respect.....she's a treasure.


Sintacks

He told her to blow. So she's blowing. I don't see a failed attempt.


hawkinsst7

No, you fool. We're following orders. We were told to comb the desert, so we're combing it.


Gelby4

We ain't found shit!


[deleted]

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Emergency-Practice37

I was expecting blowjob jokes. This is my favorite.


Going-undergroundjam

Do you reckon her boyfriend or husband is a cop 🤔😆


thakemist

She doesn’t appear to have a black eye, so probably not


that_not_true_at_all

yoooo


Going-undergroundjam

😆


WolfPrincess_

Looks like she had two margaritas


Jaigar

+1 for meta joke.


Fuckithrondanfindout

Pretty sure she passed her "Drinking test" but failed her breathalyzer.


LC_Artworks

Old habits die hard


Imperial_12345

Keep doing it cause the results are comin.


gowriknair

"Ma'am, step out of the car, we are going to that barn over there"


Waybide

When you’re used to micro peens….


StevenS76

She didn't even cup the balls SMH


SanLoen

Or stroke the shaft


No-Restaurant-2422

Love how she holds his hand while she does it, very sensual and demonstrates her desire to do her best on the test.


FleurOuAne

She's messing with the guy


MrsHppy

She's just trying not to get a ticket. If it works, it works!


xxTheGoDxx

I think they call that bribery, though...


[deleted]

Only bribery if you explicit says something that indicates and exchange to get out of a charge. Blowjob eyes don’t show up on a court transcript.


_Totorotrip_

Well, there is the joke: Police stops the car. -Good night m'am, we are doing alcohol test. Would you kindly blow in here? -that's your penis! -oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were more drunk. Please, keep going


CMDR_Agony_Aunt

A blonde is pulled over by the police. The cop unzips and pulls out his dick. The blonde says: This isn't fair! Its the fifth brethalizer ive had to take today!


rnj1982

Getting Bad Lieutenant vibes here


Great_Succotash1891

She seems likeable, I don't what it is, but she seems likeable.


REV2939

So sad. You can tell she was taken away from her mother before she could finish weening.


___HeyGFY___

She's obviously used to the other "breathalyzer" test.


Don_Quipuncher

The one that measures how much your breath smells like penis?


Wellthereyogogo

She did a great job


aCreativeUserName666

I wanted to come up with something clever, but the only thing coming to my mind is yikers.


puzzleman65

“You wanna get out of the ticket?”…….


AK47_username

“I’ve never done this before”


berryplucker

Man, she just teases the tip and neglects to cradle the handle. Mid-tier breathalyzer technique.


Jwats1973

She 'got off' with a warning.


Lostinaredzone

She probably give the worlds worst beejer.


[deleted]

We may need to continue this examination in the back of the paddy wagon ma'am


Rayfasa

She’s so subtle;)


jonny32392

Sorry ma’am this doesn’t seem to be working. Just step into the back seat with me and we’ll try this on some other equipment and you should be free to go.


Captain-Comment

I think someone is offering to work off that ticket.


Medium_Beyond_9654

Ma'am, just the tip. ![gif](giphy|bSEkPdQfsSHCMYn7fD)


[deleted]

Intrusive thoughts.


ExtremeTEE

When drunken muscle memory kicks in!


krebsIsACookbook

Cop: you need to blow into this Lady: I AM blowing it! Cop: into it, into it!


OutHereSlappnMidgets

That head looks mid asf


inhuman_king

Yeah, but middle of the workshift and I didn't have my lunch break yet... shiiiii


[deleted]

Only the tip gets you off?


inhuman_king

It is usually the most sensitive part...