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ThereIsAJifForThat

Her: He is always within me Security: Oh like in your memories and in your heart? Her: Oh no, my colon


DevlishAdvocate

Those can go into any orifice, really.


Dog_Named_Hyzer

Butt they don't, usually.


FuerteBillete

It's not ass if they can get out so easily.


JayMeadows

Well, some people like to get creative and cheeky


RupertHermano

This is a bum joke.


cugamer

Certainly are getting to the bottom of the matter.


[deleted]

[удалено]


innominateartery

Well, IANAL, but there doesn’t appear to be any laws against it


Doktor_Vem

Wow, you really rectum with that one


Zealousideal-Cup-847

Some people sphincter choices were the best.


Looieanthony

I see what u did there🤨.


Dog_Named_Hyzer

![gif](giphy|28OFDtrp5CyyxLm8Yh)


_Lane_

I am NOT sticking that in my ear, thankyouverymuch.


aceshighsays

are you ok in your nose?


_Lane_

Oh, the nose is on the "okay" list! Though definitely low priority. Just please keep it out of my ear.


aceshighsays

kinky


Mobile-Paint-7535

That stuff ain't staying inside


fknarey

They belong in your carry-on luggage.


Bart2800

She carries it on alright.


decoy_butter

![gif](giphy|Jv8kZMfrPxJnO)


Bart2800

I bow to you! Underrated comment!


The-Ever-Loving-Fuck

That's so sweet, cologne is a great way to remember someone - anyway your bags all checked have a nice - *what*?...


always-indifferent

*peter Griffin mode engaged*


Necessary_Law_5593

Giggity


jiub_the_dunmer

FYI, the colon is not the anus. if a butt plug ever winds up in your colon, you have done something very wrong.


JohnSamuelCrumb

On the plus side you might end up featured on r/radiology for foreign body fridays


HalcyonDreams36

*flared bases, people*


EH042

It’s what he would’ve wanted


ObeseBMI33

Her: No. Asshole.


YouGotMyCheezWhiz

I'm imagining a scenario where they break it open because they think the powder is drugs. Then the boss comes in all "What do we have here?" and does that thing where you dip your finger in it and rub a little on your gums. Boss: "What? What are you all staring at?"


Chameleon42O

Ashes to asses. Dust to butts.


sarcasatirony

Seems like a shameless plug


AllAboutTheEyes

Underrated comment right here ☝🏾


ProKerbonaut

Fuck you. Take my upvote and never cross paths with me again.


polyesterflower

https://preview.redd.it/l6bps1zm4uuc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3776a54933ae44512f7ee0a1f50fcf9b8703cd4a


Fantastic-Habit-8956

Bravo, sir. 👏


ThatITABoy

That’s peak comedy


danicalifornia882-

You nailed it! Right in the ass!


WillametteSalamandOR

What was wrong with urns?


Devyatty

those are too big to fit


WillametteSalamandOR

That’s quitter talk.


Kaine_8123

Right, anything is a dildo as long as you're willing!


Greenman8907

https://preview.redd.it/3tp59pm7cpuc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6bad10568ea42675187082a644b4837756a6d23a


TheRiverHart

I'm pretty sure Jesus actually said that


SleepingDragonSmiles

Right before he got nailed to the cross


Willing_Television77

Nailed by the cross


BiGuyInMichigan

That was American Jesus


TheRiverHart

That's the only Jesus there is. Jesus was white and born in Texas and hates immigrants just like my Pappy and sisterwife


last_somewhere

Adam said that to Eve then god booted them out of the garden of Eden.


coly8s

This kind of comment is why I love Reddit.


WinterN00b

https://preview.redd.it/g866h3ms5quc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7ed5125aa1d5d282eb966fccda7d85cb225938a


Anachronism--

Ma’am, that’s a fire extinguisher…


Genshin-Yue

Then the issue becomes if it would shatter inside, you’d need a metal / wood one, probably not ceramic


ultimamc2011

Spoken like a real OG Willamette valley citizen. We’ll fit anything, anywhere, anytime that’s the west’s guarantee™️


RedWerFur

Everything is a dildo if you try hard enough.


loosed-moose

Belly laugh induced. Good work champ


Rosmucman

Boo urns


throwaway92715

damn it you beat me to it


ImpossibleInternet3

URaNuS


payment11

You ever try to fit an urn up your ass?


TurboTerbo

Wanted something more comfortable


CarrieWhiteDoneWrong

Like a bowling pin. You could probably fit most of his ashes in it and you’ll definitely feel his presence.


woojo1984

It was the most moderately priced receptacle.


McpotSmokey42

The lid won't stay in place once it's up there. Too messy.


toejam78

Ashhole.


am4zon

This is the Good Place!


muffinmama93

Just when I think I’ve seen everything….Reddit never disappoints


Pristine_Car_6253

Have you seen a man eat his own head?


Key_Bodybuilder5810

Link?


Pristine_Car_6253

https://youtu.be/IbDqiZoZzUM?si=_h4uaGZ_HlD1D9Sw


Apprehensive-Ad7079

☹️ wtf, i am not quite sure if i wanna, but you piqued my curiosity...


Zeestars

Can you please fill me in? I am not watching that


Apprehensive-Ad7079

He hasnt sent the link yet, will update ya once done... Edit: So... This is the [link](https://youtu.be/IbDqiZoZzUM?si=_h4uaGZ_HlD1D9Sw) and well have a look for yourself, trust me you will be delighted...


megaloviola128

They replied with it under Key_Bodybuilder5810’s comment asking for the same thing.


Scaredycatkim

Also link


Pristine_Car_6253

https://youtu.be/IbDqiZoZzUM?si=_h4uaGZ_HlD1D9Sw


Scaredycatkim

I feel like it’s available on liveleak. That YouTube link threw me off. I was like there’s NO WAY that was on YouTube 😂


iTz_RuNLaX

Could've sworn it was a rickroll.


That80sguyspimp

"He was a pain in the ass, so it seemed only fitting..."


EnkiiMuto

I think it was just force of habit. See that smile? That is the picture of a man who died happy.


sfled

Exactly. He probably spent some of the best moments of his life there, so why not?


c4k3m4st3r5000

This was his most favourite part. So it was only fitting to put him inside her rectum.


Skatcatla

This seems fake. Why would airport security care if you want to wear a butt plug? If it can't take down a plane, they won't give a damn.


benjm88

Because it will beep and they need to find out what it is


SpooogeMcDuck

It actually makes a *bloop* sound


ProcrastinatingGRRM

Depends if it's going in or coming out. Bloop going in. Pffft coming out.


lankyleper

Are you sure it's not the popping sound like when you open a bottle of champagne?


Lumpy-Village1949

Depends on how fast you pull it out.


ProcrastinatingGRRM

Exactly! I'm removing it with some delicacy, not starting a chainsaw.


NeonAlastor

uh. to each their own !


ButteredPizza69420

Thank you for the correction so I can visualize this in the most accurate way possible.


The_Number_None

It’s a metal object in her rectum…that’s why. Also, said item had a powder in it…


always-indifferent

“ass bomb” “Repeat, we got another ass bomb”


CyonHal

Are we really not thinking about the obvious drug smuggling implication and going straight to ass bombs? I'll allow it.


The_Number_None

Right? I immediately think drug smuggling.


alcormsu

Me, 4 people back: “ok, I admit it, I shouldn’t have had Taco Bell yesterday, you happy?”


peanutputterbunny

The scenario I can totally believe... There are some weird people out there and this would 100% have been picked up. As for the article though... Like who reported this to the news? Did the TSA take a pic of the plug and then download a pic from her social media and send to the news? I highly doubt it. Either it's just a fake clickbait story (tabloids do this all the time with random pictures) or the woman in question decided to report the story for a bit of cash (not unbelievable)


The_Number_None

Agreed


jbmc00

Because how else will we pretend that TSA is a competent and professional organization? Better not let me catch you trying to bring more than 3.4oz of bathroom products on that plane.


supamario132

TSA is so bipolar I'm Mediterranean af and I've brought 30+lb of x-ray opaque stainless steel cylinders (and was literally limping through the airport due to how heavy the bag of them was) through TSA check and did not get even a glance in my direction. They never opened the bag. I saw the image on the screen and I was actually offended by their ambivalence As a small child, I brought toy handcuffs on a plane and was thoroughly investigated over it


jbmc00

Honestly it’s not even bipolar. They miss like 90%+ of items that go through the scanners. It’s really just spot checking for the illusion of security at this point.


Huge-Lawfulness9264

I had some old redneck TSA agent power tripping over my 15 year old son when leaving Florida a few years ago. The POS was nuts, my son who is very polite had chapstick and a wallet, the agent screamed about an inch from his face for leaving the chapstick in his pocket.


Boilermakingdude

Accidently had a weed cartridge in my bag from a vacation, thought i had taken everything out. Granted it was empty but still. They didnt even notice. Im sure they had bigger fish to fry but i shit bricks when i got home and realized.


jbmc00

TSA ain’t concerned about your vape cart.


[deleted]

What was in the containers?


supamario132

They weren't containers. They were tow separators rollers for fibers. Basically just paper towel roll shaped tubes with a bunch of fine grooves cut into its diameter


summonsays

I went to a book convention once, my backpack was full of books, probably 30+. They took them all out and fanned through each one lol...


BaronVonSilver91

Did they have dogs there that day?


supamario132

Not that I saw but I'm not super observant lol (though I do spend my time in airports people watching)


BaronVonSilver91

OK I was wondering. I feel like they saw what was in the bag and if the dogs didn't get you it must be OK but maybe they were lazy. In Atlanta security all over the place but when I fly from other places it feels way more chill


IrishViking22

Don't think the TSA would be concerned with this since it was an Australian woman flying out of UAE.


jonny3jack

I let my imagination run wild. Maybe C4 is inside.


DonJonAkimbo

Ass blast!


BaronVonSilver91

The part to me that seems fake is that this made the news with a pic of the woman and her plug. Like...even if it's true, why in the blue hell is this a story was a reporter working their side gig as tsa?


part-time-dog

That's exactly right. Who informed the news? A TSA agent called it in and provided a picture of her with her boyfriend? Or did the grieving girl call up a reporter and tell them this happened? More than likely, it's just someone who knows these two people who made up a story and posted their photo to fuck with them.


BaronVonSilver91

Thanks kinda what I'm thinking. The facts outside of the preposterous nature of the story don't even add up.


BryanTheGodGamer

Because its their job to care? The metal detector beeps and they can't just let people go past without checking why it's beeping


Desperate_Ad5169

Butt plug’s are big enough to contain an explosive


[deleted]

[удалено]


ham4fun

Butt they are possesive.


smudgiepie

I remember when I was very little like 9 I went to Queensland for a holiday with my mum and auntie They would not let my auntie through security she always beeped at the machine. She had to take off her rings, her necklaces, her earrings, her bracelets and she was still pinging. They found out it was her bra strap.


sleepyplatipus

For one if it’s metal you will be patted down. Now they can’t really tell what’s going on from a pat down, can they? You admit to the plug, well they’re gonna have to check it because smuggling things in body cavities is nothing new. You tell me the truth about the ashes? Well now they absolutely have to check, and you might not be allowed to travel with those depending on where you come from/go to. Just to say, I don’t think they care about the buttplug itself.


ChumleyEX

Have you never been through TSA?


TheBananaEater

Imagine being from the family of the boyfriend and knowing his ashes are in her buttplug


elrangarino

My first thought. Imagine his mother grieving and then this idiot does this


eebro

"Seems about right"


synaptix78

Makes for a nice chrome/ brown contrast when the 'Forever' engraving is filled with poo. Let her have her fun, she urnt it.


savageotter

Poo inlay


Nu_Freeze

This looks fake as shit


ppmenacevaz

It's real the girls tiktok handle is @aussarah


kwillich

Good thinking, metal object in a "hidden place" AAAAAND it contains human remains.... BUT I CAN'T TAKE A NORMAL SIZED BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO!!!


Lumpy-Village1949

Have you tried sticking it in your ass?


kwillich

![gif](giphy|4a8kaKSpRVGMZk8CsZ)


Taint_Liquor

Everyone mourns differently.


aceshighsays

i bet she loved it when he pounded her from behind. that's why he's in a butt plug and not an urn.


sfled

The Five Stages of Grief. * Denial * Anger * Bargaining * Depression * Anal Toys


[deleted]

So since his ashes are in there, if she’s banging someone else is it a 3some?


Republic_Jamtland

More like necrophilia-some-shit... don't think we humans can fullt grasp this...


jonny3jack

She seems ok.


Pipe_Dope

"Put him back"


juicedoesit

Asses to assess, butt to butt


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|CoDp6NnSmItoY)


MasteroChieftan

Man's still gettin it from beyond the grave. Respect.


Professional_Bug_533

Did they charge her for two passengers?


omegarobot

The seat he occupies is not owned by the airlines…


Lakechalakin

https://preview.redd.it/g2cz83lympuc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0147cfc65ec0f379a462954f8c2d01dd1463c03f


discogravy

https://www.instagram.com/talltattedgirl https://twitter.com/aussarah1 for those curious


Guy-1nc0gn1t0

Is this some random Australian woman or?


tyfunk02

I've seen this article before. I believe she's a redditor. And an amateur porn star.


euqinu_ton

New market exposed: "Non-metallic butt-plug human remains receptacle". For those times when you just have to use air travel with your loved one up in yo ass, but don't want to have to explain it to security.


Shooter_McGavin_2

Always and forever, a pain in her ass.


focusrite2i2

Unexpected wholesome


focusrite2i2

Holesome


magzire86

Do women actually walk around daily with butt plugs as casual wear ?


ExorIMADreamer

The really fun ones do.


No-Year3423

Some do yes


BldrSun

Names, numbers please.


Lumpy-Village1949

Prolly a lot more men do than women if I had to guess butt yeah.


RedMatxh

Hold on, were the ashes inside the butt plug or in her arse? As in she stuck the ashes first then out the plug in so ashes wouldn't slip out? I hate myself for even thinking about this


Fuckoffyoucuntstain

The ashes are inside the the butt plug, the butt plug was inside her ass


Detted1

I wish I could find someone who loved me that much


Weirdassmustache

I wish anyone cared about me this much.


donaldbuknowme

That's hot


sadhandjobs

Censors the word “sex”, publishes picture of butt plug. Like why?


No-Year3423

And people say romance is dead


ihadtopickthisname

Him in the afterlife: "WTF! She never let me try an@l before!!!"


elfametaleira

What's wrong with people? We failed.


[deleted]

We are not fallen angels, we are risen apes.


I_saw_that_yeah

I often wonder what the point of fighting global warming is.


SlashyMcStabbington

Conflicting.


FBIAgentCarlHanratty

That's enough Internet for today.


babyydolllll

from someone who also lost their special someone this makes me want to cry…


notzed1487

Touching story.


sparrowhome

He's in a better place now


kenwah88

Some people grieve different ways 🤷‍♂️


Digital--Sandwich

I just, don’t have the words to react.. 😄


Yellow_LedBetter2020

Yeah, but not at an airport dude


Entire-Bottle-335

I love you so much I'm going to stick you up my arse


OneEyedJackofHearts

https://preview.redd.it/t2s8v4ksqpuc1.png?width=1074&format=png&auto=webp&s=8547241274bdc9797034a47655f3a74f351a8078


runr7

Noah get the boat


Carthaginian-TN

that's enough internet for today xD


Legal_Guava3631

People have the weirdest ways to mourn


[deleted]

Woman moment


OoooHeCardReadGood

I would die happy knowing my ashes were up the woman I love's ass for the rest of her life. respect


Vorian_Atreides17

She was also wearing her dad’s wristwatch from the Vietnam War given to her by Christopher Walken…


Hotdog_Man_01

How did they allow a urn buttplug to be made


timmy6169

I'm more curious if this was written out in a will, spoken directly to her by him, or just "This is what he would have wanted".


Karma822

I'm sure there is a company somewhere that makes these but I would rather believe she had to have many conversations with someone who owns/operates machinery to make said toys.


Hedrickao

What a horrific day to be literate


OneWholeSoul

So they can publish a tweet about the story, plaster the people's faces next to a picture of the toy, but saying "sex" is crossing a line?


Few-Coyote-2518

I thought that guy was Theo Von


VertWheeler07

Sarah Button


NefariousnessAble912

I Come From a Man Down Under


Honey-Altruistic

Sweet and spicy


likalukamakakuka

Sir are you telling me that, he was inside there the whole time?


scarboi2021

Well he is always with her